When I was 11 a boy from school saved my life and I fell in love with him. Five years later they dropped out of school and disappeared suddenly. I finally tracked them down 6 years after that, it turns out that they're now living as a woman. I also suspect that they're a prostitute... I still love them very much but I don't know what to think.
Would someone be kind enough to give me a crash course on transsexualism? I feel incredibly confused and conflicted about this.
>>5283109
People are different.
We're not clone troopers, you know?
What do you even wanna know? If she's actually transsexual, it's no big deal really. Same old person wanting a female appearance.
http://www.glaad.org/transgender/transfaq
http://srlp.org/resources/trans-101/
http://www.transpeoplespeak.org/trans-101/
Is there ANY reason you couldn't just google this yourself?
>>5283130
>What makes a guy want to be a girl?
Fuck if I can put it into words. The idea is being thought of as a "guy", a "father", a "Mr. ___" just feels.. wrong. So do physical things like being flat-chested, or facial hair. Like, it's some bad joke that I don't fucking get, or one of those nightmares where nothing bad happens but you have this overwhelming sense of wrongness at the back of your mind. Those feelings aren't there when I think of being a "gal", a "mother", a "Ms. ___", and the idea of looking like a woman is so so much more.. right, than the idea of looking like a man.
Also, just to be clear, it has nothing to do with the social expectations of either sex. I love baking just as much as barbecuing, rom-coms just as much as horror movies, etc.
>>5283130
I'm trans, yes, but I don't really bother with making it a bigger issue than it needs to be. I feel a lot of people transition because they're living shitty lives, not because they're dysphoric. I suppose quite a lot, in proper /r9k/ fashion, hope to benefit from the female privilege, rather than actually wanting to be female.
Trannies are gonna jump my throat if I dare question their identity and that they have always felt female and yadda yadda, but you never know how much they're quoting others just to defend their own premature choices or insecurities.
Anyhow, a guy wants to be a girl because their mind doesn't conform well with their body. I'm transsexual and I do away with all the stuff that I've got a female mind or a female soul or whatsoever, because ultimately it's irrelevant. I've been raised as a male and noone's gonna make that undone, but I kinda knew as a young child that my dick shouldn't be where it is and that my chest will grow someday.
That's my kinda dysphoria, others claim to not be bothered by their dicks but just want to be treated as females, which I find a bit repulsive, but its their life, not mine.
Suppose they believe their mind is actually female in a binary manner and thus they must be treated as such.
I don't care what my mind is and I don't believe it's inherently male or female, it's just me being myself and I just know to be happy I need a female body, no more or less.
Next tranny will tell you a different story, so unless you ask your friend, I don't think you'll get a perfectly accurate answer.
There's evidence that in some areas our brains reflect the biology of a female more than that of a male, but it's apparently not evidence enough to be used in a proper diagnosis whether someone really is trans or not, so if not even the medical sector can give you a good explanation, you'd do best to treat this stuff individually.
>>5283109
So you were born female? Why didn't you do anything in the five years you liked them?
What exactly do you have questions about?
>>5283109
You have an opportunity to repay the favor right now. You don't have to get into a relationship with your friend, but you have a chance to get her out of the sex trade before it kills her.
>>5283146
> but it's apparently not evidence enough to be used in a proper diagnosis whether someone really is trans or not
It runs into several problems that prevent it from being a useful diagnostic tool, namely that it's terribly expensive, the indicators searched for are only fully developed several years into adulthood, and even without such tests, medical transition has a very low regret rate.
Uncertainty is something unavoidable; no one can think of an experiment that is both ethically sound, and possible (even without necessitating a double-blind) by which to determine this stuff.
>>5283109
As for what makes a person transition? Usually, some facet(s) of their birth sex are deeply wrong to/for them. This doesn't always manifest as something distressing in early life, but almost invariably does by the time secondary sex characteristics begin to develop (also the onset of substantial increase in major sex hormones).
There are a lot of moments that culminated in my personal conclusion that, yes, clearly I need to be a girl. There's the moments when I was sad to wake up male from dreams where I was female. There was the moment I realized that no matter how many hobbies I shared with boys, I couldn't GET them as well as girls. There were the times I was mistaken for and treated like a girl and I was as happy as I'd ever been over something that tiny and stupid - I never even considered correcting them. There was watching in horror as facial hair grew in and... A lot of other really traumatic experiences with learning that, yes, I would be developing into a man. Changing sex was an idle fantasy and desperate wish for years before I knew it was even something someone could do.
As others have said, though, your friend's experiences are here own, and surely different from ours.
>>5283109
Transsexualism is a psychiatric diagnosis.
>>5283146
if you experience dysphoria you already have a shitty life
>>5284316
That is true, but seeing the issues other people not suffering from dysphoria have, I'm holding up quite well in comparison.
Others have massive social issues, depressions, get kicked out from home, fail school, find no job, god knows all the issues people have nowadays.
Personally, HRT worked miracles on my mental health and for the first time I feel like I got my most significant issues under control.
It could always be better, but you should try to appreciate being born into a more or less healthy environment (I hope you are, but you do have internet afterall) and having the means to transition is quite the luxury.
I've had a great life before; wasn't very social, but I didn't let it bother me too much, and once I'm done with surgeries, I very much intend on going back to where I was when I was a happy guy, just this time with the right outwards appearance.
>>5283146
>hey, I'm living a shitty life
>what can make this better..
>I know, I'll risk being disowned by my family and become a hated minority!
>>5284478
>I'm living a shitty life
>what can make it better
>I know, trying to address the exact thing that's making me miserable
>>5283130
>Are you trans yourself? What makes a guy want to be a girl?
Basically the same reason why you don't want to be a girl.
>>5284478
>>5284488
This :^)
It obviously worked, if you read what I wrote.
Getting disowned and being a hated minority is still better than leading a miserable life wondering why you don't end yourself already.
Plus, neither have I experienced any hatred yet outside of 4chan nor have I been disowned or clashed at all with my family.
>>5283109
another possibility to keep in mind: being a youngling tran in a disapproving environment typically means massive repression, which can lead into developing depersonalisation/derealisation or even a full blown dissociative disorder.
if she's acting as a sex worker, it's likely you'll encounter this to some extent. repeatedly telling yourself it's ok to be used by others isn't easy.
if you've watched / read pic related, that scene is a good example of what to expect: trying to be a good person and do the right things, being met with abuse over and over, putting up with it (i can do this; it's necessary), at some point snapping and wildly retaliating, hating yourself for it immediately afterwards, etc. after a point, things just start to feel fake and distant and pointless and you get all light-headed and confused.
>>5283146
>hope to benefit from the female privilege, rather than actually wanting to be female
>implying its even medically a possibility at this moment in time
kek, life with what god gave ya sistah ;)
>>5283130
It's very hard to describe to somebody who hasn't felt gender dysphoria. All those urges that make you act male or act female are hard coded into the reptile unthinking part of your brain. These are very wide and broad. They influence who you look up to for guidance, what you find interesting, how you relate to others. For somebody who is transgender they are for the gender that is opposite of their body's sex. This really messes with how one feels. Society is telling the transgender to be one sex, but they mentally are the other sex. They don't have the natural inclinations to be that sex. If they try to be their brain gender they often get punished, teased or harassed. So the world ends up a very confusing, and hostile place.
When one goes through puberty, these differences get much greater. The body starts to develop in ways the brain is uncomfortable with.
A person's orientation is yet another axis, and it may agree or disagree with their sex and gender.
>>5283146
>they're living shitty lives
only because of how they have been treated by others.
this >>5284316
>>5284488
The person i was quoting was saying people transition becauae they live shitty lives, not dysphoria.
>let me fix my shitty life by making it shittier!
>>5284575
dysphoria makes your life shitty senpai
>>5284583
Pls read. That person was saying people WITHOUT dysphoria transition because their lives are shitty.
>>5284594
oh, my bad
desu I don't buy a lot of the trutrans stuff. If someone is desperate enough to go on HRT I figure they're either trans or fucking retarded
>>5283146
>female privilege
>>5284540
>>5284614
I was rather implying, this female "privilege" is pretty shitty once you get it. But the grass is so much greener.
But yes, medically you can get to a point where you look good enough for a lot of people out there.
>>5284555
>only because of how they have been treated by others.
I guess it takes some intelligence to know how to get by without getting treated like shit. You can't change how your family treats you, but letting yourself be the victim is most likely your own fault, if you ask me.
I can't really speak for others as I've never been in such a situation, but that's what I'm seeing everywhere. People seem to love getting treated like shit, else they'd do something about it.
>>5284609
A lot of people are fucking retarded, senpai.
The simple fact transsexual is a seperate thing from being transgender (which is just a synonym for queer) kinda indicates there's trutrans and there's mere weirdos.
>>5284661
everyone is a weirdo, people are more stable in non polyamorous relationships because there is someone to rely upon for each other exclusively.
>>5284661
>but letting yourself be the victim is most likely your own fault
Tell that to a first grader who doesn't get any help from the adults around that works for their situation.
>>5284682
LOL I've found having multiple close partners provides me with a much stabler situation. Because of the psychological trauma I've been through, I feel better and am more confident when I have a few really close lovers around me.
>>5284835
I've been getting bullied throughout grades 2 and 3 and in the 4th I ended up being friends with em, cause you know, I can learn.
>>5283109
When you were a boy, were you ever told to man up? Or punished disproportionately for being a boy. Or were told to stop crying because you were a boy. Or that you were being rude when being shy, because you were a boy?
>>5283109
I feel the best way I can describe my experience is that I never felt like I was a guy at any point. At some point the physical changes caused me a fair amount of distress, and that became an issue, but I actually had far bigger issues at home that distracted me from even taking care of myself for a long time. But I never felt like I was a guy at any point in my previous experiences before I transitioned. I dunno about having a male brain or a female brain or any differences thereof, but I do know I always felt I was a girl.
>>5284885
I went to a homeless shelter today because I was looking for a friend. The people thought I was in need when it was my friend that is getting help... ._.
>>5285118
Because you're a guy they thought you were looking for housing?
>>5285135
I honestly don't know a tall man held the door open for me when I went in I was probably crying a bit..
>>5283109
>falling in love at 11
>>5285118
>>5285147
My point is after you get told to man up a lot. Get insulted for "acting like a girl" or in other ways being yourself but not "man" enough for your parents or friends, you start to think that maybe they're right, you're not a boy, and that sort of thinking feeds into itself.
You become jealous of girls and what they get away with just because they are girls. Then you start desiring to be a girl, you start wishing to become a girl.
So when at some point as a teenager you realize you can become a girl, you take that option, because at that point you're pretty certain you're not a boy.
>>5284879
I was never given that chance. There were 4 bullies, and any time I tried to talk or play with any kid both me and the other kid got beaten up and harassed. Needless to say I was quite effectively ostracized. The teachers and playground monitors were shit because they did nothing to stop or punish the bullies.
