>Be CIA paramilitary officer
>Stationed in Afghanistan at a POW camp holding Taliban and Al'Qaeda fighter
>Suddenly prison revolt
>Get overrun by a huge group of prisoners
>Still manage to take out 7 of them with a pistol before they kill you
Pretty badass way to go desu
All the ones you don't know about did it right. The ones who used their intelligence to carve out their own financial successes after their service which allowed them to melt into the neighborhoods around you and me without feeling the need to stand on a pedestal and boast their exaggerated exploits.
>>29744885
ME
>shot 2 guys in Afghanistan
>beat a Iraqi nigger who was molesting his daughter half to death
Who sings my ballad? The ballad of Lcpl Anon.
>>29744998
Did you finish the job?
>>29744885
My sarge was pretty operator.
>called in indirect fire on Afghani villages
>definitely shot people not reaching for weapons
>didn't even mention it
>Onna toilet
>Makin a dank poop
>Won't come out
>Squeeze as hard as humanly possible
>Poop is 2dank2drop
>Red in the face
>Brown in the butt
>What the poopy
>Desperate
>Lower abdomen aches
>Realization that pooping involves going all out
>*Really* but some effort in
>Loose a Tarzan yell that shakes the house
>Dank poop flies out and hits the toilet with a crack
>Dankness fills the house
>Inside of toilet resembles /pol/ while Stormfront was still around
>Wetwipes, flush, wetwipe again, flush again
>Vik-twah
>>29744998
Things that never happened, the post
>>29745019
Kinda morning drunk but I can green text it. I assume you mean the story about the girl.
>>29745038
Totally invalidated my life experiences with 1 simple post. Gg.
>>29744998
You? what about me?
>single handedly won a battle without firing a shot.
>my actions resulted in an entire city becoming free of insurgents OVER NIGHT
>I am the root cause of a large militia running blindly into a killzone.
>I judge my victories by the battles others didnt have to fight.
>You will never hear of my exploits outside of /k/
>I will never be famous.
>>29745088
Yawn...
>>29745019
I said I'd greentext it so am
>roll up in village in Afghan
>see an 8 year old mentally retarded girl chained to a rock
>squad stops, literally what the fuck
>her younger brother's were throwing food to her like she was a goat
>father comes out and wants us to pay money to fuck her
>squad leader fucking snaps (he later tells me his younger sister was molested is why)
>rifle butts pedo hajji
>we cut the chain off the girl
>pedo dad hajji gets fuckin brutally beat
>we give her food and strip him naked, beat him almost dead
>cloth the girl and warn him this shit will not be tolerated.
I think we might have killed him, I'm not sure. But we switched AO's 2 days later and I never got to check back on her.
>>29745269
What unit, what time?
Who was carrying the bolt cutters on a regular patrol?
This is as bullshit as the people who say they swerve when they see garbage on the ground driving
>>29745337
2/1 Afghan 2011 Hellmand. OK no one had bolt cutters we removed it by hand. But he was beaten by the chain we removed that tied her up. Why I'm not certain if he died or not. He took some hard hits to the back and bead, if he wasn't crippled by that he's a lucky fuck. He looked close to dead when we left.
>>29745435
*head
>>29745435
Should have put a hole in his head and taken the girl back to base desu. Pretty obvious that the rest of those savages probably didn't give a shit
>Throwing rocks at your sister like she's some sort of circus attraction
>>29745495
these are the people that the liberal eurocucks want more of, ironic.
>>29745435
Hellman 2011.... This particular story, hmm...
I think I've heard this one from someone who was there.
>>29745435
Does inglorious bastards sound familiar?
Or glorious I don't fucking know. Because I could have swore I heard this shit before.
>>29745519
i'll ask my friend who was there around then if he had heard anything like that
>>29745519
I've told this story on /k/ one time before. If that's not it I don't know.
>>29745541
I know it stars Brad Pitt and I heard it sucked. Yes? Those people rape kids all the time but if you choose not to believe me then I am OK with that.
>>29745569
I'm talking about a platoon I think was there I think about that time with a very similar story.
>>29745597
Nobody took contact except 2/1 Echo during that time and AO. So you're either confused or we know the same people.
Rest in Peace Mike Spann
>>29744885
If you watch the video of the prison uprising and the events that led to it you'd see that they were stupid in how they handled shit. Two guys and a few Afghani cops in a courtyard of hundreds of trained fighters...no bueno.
>>29745269
>squad leader fucking snaps (he later tells me his younger sister was molested is why)
He was prob the one doing the molesting.
>>29746674
If you saw his anger and the way we he acted I would say no. But nice third grade level response. Glad you're here.
>>29746710
I didn't mean to trigger you or your faux story, pal. Go ahead, tell us again how you saved the day.
>>29746719
I actually didn't do much of anything in my "fake" story. More of a witness. This internet conversation is more fake, because you're not a person worth speaking to.
>>29746773
I have more respect for those Afghani goat fuckers than faggots like you who make up stories on websites like 4chan of all places.
>>29748525
>He thinks it's so far fetched that Afghanistan has problems with child rape & molestation
M8, even Afghani soldiers are regularly caught fucking little boys
>>29745269
That's crazy. Really fucked up. You did the right thing. Mentally challenged people already suffer enough. That shit is on a whole other level
>>29748595
and then their officers say shit like this on camera to justify it
>>29748952
Source video?
>>29748595
The Arabs are like that too.
This is what happens in a tribal society when you impose a violent cult that -- in addition to preaching holy war and rape and raiding and lying about it -- forbids any dating opportunities.
>>29749832
Its one of those HBO Vice episodes
>>29749832
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ja5Q75hf6QI
feel bad for those guys, you can tell the Major is sick of the BS and tired of having his hands tied.
yeah sure its vice blah blah blah but its actually not a bad video
>>29749859
They've been fucking boys in the ass way before Islam took root. There are some legit theories that claim boy-fucking came in style after Alexander the great and the greeks came through the region. Idk why you always shit up k with your pol bs, Phil.
>>29745269
You just got her honor killed anon.
>>29745337
>Not carrying bolt cutters on literally every mission.
>>29745435
Or not.
>>29749931
Vice occasionally hits a home run.
>>29749957
He is right, tho. Sand nigs fuck shota. I would argue that all religions which treat sex like an unholy taboo create populations of perverted old men.
>Catholicism, we're looking at you...
>>29749957
The Greeks -- and the ritualized bisexuality between the erastes and the eromenos -- who were always both of age of consent -- has fuckall to do with sexual dysfunction in the modern Islamic diaspora. Faggot.
>>29750110
Lol Phil is an expert on fags & fag history.
