>"Anon, I wouldn't trust you to babysit my kids for the evening, but I'd trust you to save them in a dangerous situation"
>/k/ feels thread.
> im worried you might diddle my kids so fuck off until I need your guns.
>if the happening hits I'll rob your house for guns
>anon you have many guns and are paranoid
Attempted break in at neighbors house
>anon I hate guns and would never own one but do you have a Biden-blaster I can borrow? I don't need any shells because I'll just rack it and scare intruders away.
all my feels
>>23239805
>>if the happening hits I'll come to your house and leech off your kindness and generosity while not providing anything in return
FTFY
>>23239868
>if the happening hits you can shoot me on sight
FTFTFY
>>23239782
No one has ever said that to you.
>>23239886
Says you. You dont know anon. You dont know his life
>>23239892
Faggot I read anons autobiography. I think I know his life.
>>23239782
>has guns
>burglarize
>they takecar keys, laptop
>room mate grabs my shotgun while I was at work
>im fine with it
>after work grab nugget food and 00
>I load the old break action
>"w-what are you doing?! are you gunna shoot somebody?!"
>well shit dude we have to take this seriously
>I put it back in the corner
>he swipes it, fumbles with it and takes the shell out
>grabs his pb gun instead
>"I reallly hope even if it did come to that, that you shoot to disable like the leg or something"
>mfw
I'll do the best I can but the service will be on par with the pay
TFW
>I will probably lose my virginity tonight
I am so nervous it's not even funny. My gf is as shy and awkward as I am and this is the first time for both of us (we're 23 and 22).
We've been together for about half a year now and had our first kiss just the other day. It was both insanely awkward and really awesome, first for both of us.
We've talked thids through many times but I feel nervous as hell. I feel tempted to have a drink to calm my nerves but I don't think that's a good idea.
Sorry for bringing this up. I just need a way to calm myself I guess.
>>23239868
Oh Lord yes.
>Haha! I don't need guns I'll just come to your house.
also
>Yeah man I have an M&P9 for home defense
>Behind a locked closet door, in a locked ammo can, unloaded with a gun lock on it.
>You keep a gun loaded on your table?! That's crazy!
also
>lol what do you have all these for? the zombie apocalypse?
>You don't need guns, anon. The police have guns. I hate guns.
>You own a gun anon, you're fired.
>You know how to make explosives, anon? Why?
>Let me just refine your nugget's trigger anon, it won't break.
Now I'm a jobless faggot AND my nugget is broken.
>>23240077
You are not ready.
>>23240077
>dub dubs
it's meant to be anon. Just roll with it, and take it slow.
>>23240077
you be just fine anon. just stay cool
>>23240077
Don't think about expectations set in porn, just do what you want, ask her what she likes and remain calm. We're naturally wired to not fuck this up.
>>23240042
i''m not really sure what your story is try to say
your roommate robbed you? who are you talking to?
>>23240097
>>You own a gun anon, you're fired.
Rev up them lawlsuits.
>>23240077
eat spaghetti before you do it, champ
for the energy
>>23240146
This. Also a nice mango can really improve the sex drive.
>>23240158
that and pineapple
>>23239841
> intruders breach window
> heard shotgun racking
> o shit bailing
> heard shotgun rack again
> wtf
> shotgun rack multiple time each time with increasing speed
> intruder realize.jpg the stuipd antigun faking
> intruder enraged and proceed raping and killing the family
>
>>23240177
I like this story better if it ends with running around the first corner into a mexican family with 20 shotguns.
>>23240185
kek
dem mexicans will get you every time
>Have habbening plans
>Carefully picked group of people with compatible personalities, proven good stress response, useful skills and essential supplies
>"Haha, yes, if anything goes wrong, I'll just go to anon's house. He'll help me"
>mfw
>>23239782
If someone says that to you anon you need to stop spending time with them. They look down on you and are just friends with you for selfish reasons.
>23240185
Heres goes alternative ending
.
> intruder succesful bailed house
> intruder bolt'd across fence n shit
> intruder exit into sidewalk proceed to grayman
> went round corner
> wtf family of sweating bean eye mexicans with shotgun
> they all proceed rapidly raking their shotgun
> intruder wtf the fuxk out of universe
> intruder proceed magdump his tec 9 into family
>>23240200
I know that feel all to well
Everyone (including people I hate and who hate me) are afraid of the happening more then ever and they plan to go to my place and hook up with me
I am tempted to tell them to bring a shit ton up supply's and just shoot them and take it all for myself. But my morals tell me I should not do that
Nah I rather original version
>>23240200
That's why my plan doesn't involve my house. It involves instantly leaving to get the group I give a shit about and getting the fuck out before the dipshits come find me.
>>23239782
Ask "Brass, cash, or ass. What are your kids bringing to the table?"
>>23240263
Yeah, my house will be stripped and empty by the time they even know to run for help.
>>23240077
Oh boy.. You two are in for a treat.
Don't rush it. Just let it happen. Listen to eachother, it's teamwork.
>>23240255
whatever you're expecting to happen probably won't
12% chance of solar flare making electronics useless in the next 8 years.
git good n lrn2 threat assessment
>>23240077
Remember it's polite to swallow her cum. Nobody likes a spitter.
>>23240077
got any pain meds left over?
try those.
>>23240329
Did you reply to the correct anon? Because I never said anything about what the happening would be, only that I think the happening will happen and people will beg for my help
>>23240140
Seriously. Go hire a Jew and profit.
>>23240185
holy shit
Friend: "If shit ever goes down I'm bringing everyone to your house, hurr durr!"
Me: "Show up at my place and your warning shot will be the guy next to you going down."
>>23240138
sorry I was on my mobile.
basicly we had a burglary and room mates were nervous as fuck the next day and grabbed my guns. got mad when I loaded it, decided they're idea of home defense should be a paintball gun
>>23240194
How many other Mexicans did she eat?
>>23239782
>>23239805
>>23239885
Sorry guys, if the habbening happens. I will only allow selected people into my home that offer either useful skills, ammo/supplies, or just people that I know can be counted on in a bad situation.
I will immediately shoot anyone else who gets near my home in such an event.
I recently bought a nugget.
My entire family yelled at me wondering why I wanted / needed something like that. They think that because it's old that it's unsafe.
They just don't understand, /k/ :'(
>>23240077
It'll be okay anon. It's gonna be awkward for both of you. Just do what feels natural and don't stick it in her pooper unless she wants you to.
Shit, my first time was on a KFC bathroom floor at 15
>>23240770
move out queer
>Why do you have that gun with you?
*Four hours later*
>It's late at night in a bad part of town, I'm sure glad you brought that gun with you!
>>23240770
I had the same problem when I got my first nugget as well, and my parents straight up kicked me out when I built myself a sten in my garage (it's actually not that hard, lot of fun if you know how to use a drill press).
In the end you have to go it on your own as >>23241172 says
>get gf
>bring up the question of guns
>"yeah I've shot a few, but I just don't like them"
>"w-what?"
>"yeah I just can't get into it"
>"well maybe if I-"
>"no, I just don't like it"
Oh
>>23240345
This.
>>23240042
>Someone breaks in
>Your roommate shoots him in the leg with a 12 gauge
>Oh god, where did his leg go?
>Oh god, the femoral artery!
>OH GOD
>You arrive home to find the place surrounded by cop cars and an ambulance being loaded up with a body bag
>Roommate tells you what happened
>Well, it certainly disabled him!
>Captcha: bonugee mercy
>>23240077
its not as awkward as you think. just let it happen. make out, let the clothes come off bit by bit, dont rush it, thats all part of the fun. when youre ready have her guide you in.
>>23240786
>my first time was on a KFC bathroom floor at 15
Sounds rapey...
>>23240077
Awww it's nice to hear there's couples out there that don't dirty fuck on the first date.
Yeah it'll be awkward, but there's no avoiding that. Just put your brain on autopilot and focus on making her feel good. And yeah, it really is about teamwork. Don't drink. Just take a deep breath and relax, this is a natural human thing.
Course you should probably listen to the other anons. I'm just giving advice others gave me before I found out my ex fucked another guy and had her first without me.
>>23241235
this, word for word this.
my moms car broke down in a super shitty part of Fort Worth and was being repaired in a pretty shady area.
>asks me to come pick her up
>i grabbed my brothers Sig P250
>stick it inbetween seats
>pick her up
>she notices, "why do you have that?"
>get food, etc
>later, we were waiting by the repair place, its night now
>some sort of illegal roody poo gambling ring is across the parking lot
>repair shop owner says they vandalize his place a lot
>mom asks me to bring my truck, and everything in the truck closer
>im glad you brought that gun with you
my mom isnt anti gun, shes just more of the "i dont see why you need that" until theres 20 thugged out black guys in low riders blaring rap all around us
>captcha: 223
an AR would have been toppest kek to bring
>>23240077
>Sorry for bringing this up. I just need a way to calm myself I guess.
i would never have sex if not for alcohol
>>23241399
>"yeah I just can't get into it"
Then I can't get into you
>>23239782
>Buy Sino-Soviet SKS
>Can't find a stock that's reasonably priced, in decent condition AND has a matching handguard
>Buy Yugo M59/66 stock
>It arrives
>The bayonet cutout is too long
>My autism starts acting up
Anyone wanna trade or something?
>>23240042
>Scooby dooby doo, where are you?
>We need some natty gains, now
>>23241687
does it have a wooden gas tube? i would buy a gas tube with the wood still on it since i cant fucking get the shitty tapco off of mine
>>23239782
>I wouldn't trust you to babysit my kids for the evening,
Why not?
>>23240077
>TFW kissless virgin
>TFW one of your /k/omrades is about to lose his virginity
>To a girl who is also a virgin, nonetheless
Do it anon, make me proud.
>>23240185
I don't get it...
>be with friend talking about our hobbies
>he likes cars, i like guns
>"Well cars have tons of uses, they get you from point A to point B, guns seem sort of useless"
>ignore him
>weeks later
>be inna parking lot
>dude cuts us off, nearly causes us to wreck
>flip him off
>he comes to our car, blocks us in a parking spot
>threatens to stab me
>look at my friend, he's crying and trying to hide his face
>makes me do all the talking
>friend never lets me carry in his car (had no CCL at the time), had to bitch out and beg for mercy.
>talk the guy down
>he gives me a fist bump
>i look at my friend
>"Guns are useless eh?"
He still won't get one, or NOT act like a nervous wreck when i carry mine. Even though, he asks me to now.
>"I'm to scared of guns to learn about guns, so will you be my body guard?"
This is basically what he thinks.
>>23239782
>tfw you've been safezoned
>tfw they expect you to protect them
>tfw they can't even into innawoods survival
>tfw you'd take them innawoods when the happening happens, and use them for bait/food
>>23240140
So much this
>>23241699
Nope, no gas tube. Just the stock and the handguard.
>>23241589
>Not bringing your AK loaded with spaghetti
>>23241730
Because of the stereotype of Mexicans living 500 to a one-bedroom apartment like some sort of cheese and green chile loving clown troupe.
> Hey man I need to store my gun at your house because my brother is on probation.
>>23241700
probably because he has guns innahouse
>>23240077
Enjoy. Don't expect miracles, and don't be frustrated.
It is like shooting. A bit nerve-wracking at first, but worth every bit.
>>23242107
Forgot to ditch my trip from the nuggetfest thread. My bad.
>>23240077
Make sure to rub the easy one out before.
>>23240077
>We've been together for about half a year now and had our first kiss just the other day. It was both insanely awkward and really awesome, first for both of us.
I'm too broken for a post this innocent...
I sincerely hope you guys love each other to death.
>>23240077
I hate you for making me realize I'm a bitter, jaded old man.
>>23240077
Just go with your gut and try to not think about your dick too much; focus on the moment instead. My first time I couldn't even get hard at all because too much adrenaline. Out of five girlfriends since only one ever got me to cum, and I only used condoms with one of them. Don't sell yourself short until the deed is done.
>"you're so manly anon. You're like what i use as a standard for masculinity. You know all about guns, cars, self defense, handy-man shit, getting shit done, and you look the part. You're logical and almost always right because of that. if anything ever happens I trust you with my life."
>still no gf though
>>23240077
>TFW you remember feeling this way about the girl you've been with for years, but now you can barely stand her because she's changed so much.
>only stay with her because you think who she was is still in there somewhere.
Hold me /k/. I may actually shed a manly tear or two.
>>23240140
This.
>>23240097
By the end of it, you'll be buying a SVD.
>>23242150
>I'm too broken for a post this innocent...
Aye, me too. :(
>>23241734
take your boyfriend shooting
start with an airgun if you must
also you're a dumb Fuck for inciting road rage by flipping someone off and I hope you never get a CCL because of your childish attitude
>>23242287
I'm to bitter to dare comment directly to innocence.
>>23242337
>mfw he goes shooting with me all the times
>dumb as fuck for losing my temper once
>hope i never get a CCL (got one)
Wow bro, you must be some sort of Mon/k/
>>23242362
losing your temper could cost lives
normal people can control themselves
>>23240158
>>23242375
>"Ive never gotten mad. Ever."
You're the not normal one here.
>>23242270
Shits over man. Move on.
>>23240077
>>23241715
>>23242150
>>23242385
getting mad is normal
intentionally creating a dangerous situation out of one that would otherwise just pass and be nothing is silly
>>23240146
>>23240158
/k/, you're the best. Lots of carbohydrates for much thrusting and good tasting semen from pineapple and mango. Truly nutrition experts
>>23242389
I want to. I just don't know how.
>>23241589
My mom is more along the lines of "you're just paranoid like your grandfather"
He was in Vietnam, so I take it as a compliment.
>>23240146
I did not take that as carb related.
I can't stop laughing now.
>>23242415
Just say it's over, sorry, now git.
Explanation as to why is optional.
>>23242244
Sounds like it's time to get a bf.
>>23241734
>hear intruders in the home
>get out by the windows, reach the car and wait at the corner til they leave
>smash them
Best home defense weapon.
>>23239782
More like
>I trust you to babysit my kids and to have a key to my house, even though I don't trust my boyfriend of 2 years with those things
Why must my sister keep friendzoning me?
>>23240739
A logical solution to surviving the happening
>>23242443
I guess.
>>23242403
>implying you never get heated
I doubt you are 100% logical all the time. No human is.
>>23240146
>>23240146
Underrated post.
Fuck, that's funny.
>anon I love that you aren't into guns
>r-right
>[sweating intensifies]
>>23240146
Why so he can just spill it later?
>>23240253
Are you some kind of autistic child?
>>23242270
We are one and the same, anon.
>"B-but, Anon... why do you need it?"
every
single
thyme
>>23242494
I just feel awful all the time
>>23242500
Sounds like words from someone who isn't a sage
>>23240042
>grabs his peanut butter gun instead
>>23242455
bf best f
>>23239794
this post is highly underrated.
>>23242494
>wayne barlowe
muh negroidial companion
>>23242244
God damn I wish I didn't know this feel. I've been told this twice and I've heard friends/roommates bring it up when I'm not immediately around.
It's like I'm everybody's fucking dad or cool uncle but it never gets me pussy.
>>23242244
>That feel when I get told the same thing.
>By my GF.
AWWWWW YEAHHHHH
so much this
>>23242510
>>23242539
Fuck you zed we hate you
>>23239782
>unemployed for two months, living in mother's basement
>only 2 guns
>beautiful, funny, caring girlfriend who is sticking by my side regardless
>when people ask me what I've been up to I don't have anything to say
>21st birthday coming soon, but have absolutely no money to get that LCR I've wanted for forever
I guess I'm okay overall, I was living in my car not long ago
>>23242564
those are both boys
>>23242567
agreed
>>23242578
>those are both boys
never change /k/
>>23242560
>dad
>brother
>"father-figure"
life is suffering isnt it
>>23242586
didn't say i didn't approve
>>23242602
shit wrong picture
e-even though what i posted initially fits too
>>23242244
I love hearing this. Friendzoned a chick hard, got married to my now wife, friend tried convincing me to make her my backup wife. Sorry you have no boobs bye now. Oh the joys of being a /k/ommando.
>>23239782
>I know guns
>buddy knows cars
>other buddy expert hunter, drags at least one dead animal home for every hunting season
>next buddy is kickass drummer
>final buddy is big time pot dealer who believes in karma and always hooks up phat bags
together we're unstoppable
also I don't really care about women that much anymore and it's nice
appreciate your friends guys
>>23242506
Just gotta talk to her about it. Be honest, both with her and yourself. That part will not hurt: it'll feel like you're in a dream, and your body is saying what it needs to, independent from your mind. Gauge her reaction: if it's a tearful, oh-please-anon-I-never-meant-to-hurt-you-I-can-change kind of situation, then agree to let her try again. When she's romantic, be romantic back.
On the other hand, if she is silent, condescending, downright angry, or displays any other emotion that sets off warning signals in your head...well, you'll have your answer.
It's amazing the truth that comes out when you just talk with someone--It's always worked for me.
>>23242542
Fuck yes. I find posters trashy as fuck usually, but I have two in my house: a Barlowe and a Zdzisław Beksiński
>>23242403
Flipping someone off isn't creating a situation. If you think that it is his fault for some guy going full ape mode on him for a harmless gesture, then you are the one with problems.
You are as bad as the people who think that Trayvon was justified in jumping Zimmerman.
>>23242680
Fuck damn
Living the life
>>23240194
jesus christ it looks like her ass is so big its about to rip off her body
>>23242680
>MFW all of my cousins are all of those things
>>23242747
that fucking headdress seals it
>>23241930
also the very true stereotype of mexicans loving shotguns
>>23241814
top kek. first time ive ever seen that posted
>>23242574
you're young as shit, don't take it too hard. most countries don't give a shit about the youngins immediately moving out ASAP.
do get a job tho
>sympathize because i'm 19, own two guns and live at home but have a job/qt gf and am working on moving out
>>23239782
>gf dumped me over my Galil-chan daki
>tfw British
the worst /k/ommando feel imaginable
>>23241734
I remember the thread of this story, good to see you again anon
>>23240077
Ahh, Good On you man, personally, I wanted to wait till marriage, but when I found the girl I "thought" I love at the time I decided to go for.
We drove behind my job and lowered the seats, got naked and made out, I was rock hard and while she was on top of me grinding against it, she slipped. Asian scream loud, I found that out a year and a half ago. After having her relax and getting adjusted to a bout 7 inches in her we started moving more and for bout two hours, we made love. Sweet. Awkward. Sweaty. Painful. Loud. Greasy love. We'd not took each other's virginities (?) that day. Anon, make it wirth it, kiss her, love her fondle her tease her, ease it not rush it, if her her a bit, eat her out, and make sure she feels loved. That's how I did with the 2 other virgins I have. It's a big step in your relationship, treat it as such. And don't get her pregnant you faggot. Pic related. I miss her. Why did her parents have to be racist ;-;
On topic:
>Anon you drive a truck, like guns, and cook. You need to be blacker
>>23242990
It might've been you coming on it, mcnig
That or your screaming out it's name during climax
>>23243103
I haven't even yet. It's still nofap season for me.
>>23243099
still haven't cornered the dorner
>>23243118
Gotta keep it healthy
>>23243099
>Anon you drive a truck, like guns, and cook. You need to be blacker
Are you me?
>>23243127
Kek
>>23242412
>>23240158
I'm allergic to pineapple and didn't know mangoes were a suitable alternative. you guys made me and my girlfriend's day
>>23243163
Quick, eat and drink nothing but mango, celery and soy lecithin for a week strait.
>>23239841
>Biden-blaster
>>23243099
>You need to be blacker
You should immediately start jumping around with your arms curved making chimp noises aggressively when people say this shit, it makes white liberals go into a guilt panic nd makes fellow blacks embarrassed.
>white friend's faces when I call thugs niggers and praise zimmerman for removing urban youth
>>23243163
Don't forget to take zinc and eat eggs. You gotta get dem androgens flowing.
>>23243149
If your chubby, good hearted, strange, love animals and have a thing for games, poetry, girls,Fords, guns, and Rooster Teeth then sure.
How's that book on the Bundy Ranch coming?
>>23241502
lol.
>>23241734
>tfw you are your friends' personal security
>tfw you are constantly the one defending them in public
>tfw we need better friends
>>23243225
>chubby
Getting there.
>girls
a shit. 2D > all
Still an idea as of now. But I will be starting on a rough draft here soon.
>>23242567
You're that faggot from the safe dump last night.
>>23239868
Jokes on them, I already have one of those!
>>23242574
>>23242891
>that feel when 19 and own a dozen guns
>that feel when shamelessly use my dads ffl to buy anything i want since it remains in his inventory i dont need to file a 4473.
then again i got royally fucked in ait and have an epts discharge from the army so im luckier in some ways and not other.
>>23243099
>>23243149
>you need to be blacker
I'm a good ole boy but god damn if I don't get furious when I hear somebody say that to a black guy. I'm just like "I'm sorry he hasn't robbed a 7/11 yet."
>>23239794
>>23242539
I wrote this post and actually upset that it put a smile on zeds face.
We hate you zed. Literally everybody here does. If you say you dont you either need to lurk more or put your trip back on.
>>23242147
This is gospel.
>>23243358
Howd you shitbag your way into an epts from AIT?
>>23242223
>2014
>not coming out of the closet
>>23241399
My Dad is like this...
Talks about how much recoil is, and how he could fend off an attack without any weapons at all...
>MFW he keeps a non full tang knife under his coach for HD
>MFW no face
>>23243196
I usually go for the rest of the day using my regular deep ass mumble voice, being agitated as hell, and less helpful to the people that say that. Not to mention fuffling every stereotype ever.
>hanging with friends of friends say I'm white as hell and worried about why I like guns so much
>Cooking red pepper and brown sugar fried chicken, first time eating in 2 days so my fat ass isfucking starved.
>That one cockbag in every group of friends says and qoute "For an uncle Tom he sure can cook"
>nothisniggadidnt.jpg
>In my most ghetto voice :You fucking bowl cut having busta ass hockey,
>grab a fresh greasy piece of chicken, red pepper still visible, that's how much is on it.
>Angle off of cunts face, grease and pepper extract in his eyes
>runs out yelling nigga, fucking, mommy, and several other words
>Dog comes by and eats chicken off the floor
>Stones couple sides have passed Orions Belt
>Cunts girlfriend has not her head in shame and keeps reading
>My crush just giggles and says that was cool
>We fuck, cuddle and watch Shrek 2
>This grrentext is all ogre now
I got more. Dump?
>>23243387
asthma. i got an re3 jfw but hell will freeze over before they grant a waiver, i would only wanna do guard this time anyway.
>>23243185
bromelain works too
>>23243440
>MFW no face
Save this for comments like that in the future.
>>23242717
those are just egg sacs, they're supposed to fall off and release tiny beaners
>>23242564
god damn it hurts
>22y/o KV
>see that post
>sliver of hope
Is there really still a chance?
>>23243621
Yeah man, I'm 21 and a virgin and I never even had an encounter with a girl until I was 20. Since then I've actually passed up a couple chances to loose my virginity. I'm waiting for the right one.
>>23243499
2 second google search shows it is extracted from pineapples. Probably not a good choice for someone who is allergic to pineapple.
>>23242680
Sound like my friends
>pot grower who can innawoods
>pot dealer, into cars
>gun guy, also knows cars
>>23243067
I'm always around /k/ommrade. Like a cosmoline soaked Jesus, watching over you all.
>>23243269
He fixes my car for free. So...i'll keep him around. My other friends are awesome, so is he, he's just a bitch sometimes.
>>23243457
Looool. What was your MOS?
>>23243789
91f
This all goes to show you guys the Importance of OPSEC.
If you've got a plan, food, water, guns .ect
DON'T TELL ANYONE EXCEPT PEOPLE THAT YOU CAN TRUST AND CAN CONTRIBUTE TO THAT PLAN.
>dump gf because she still likes her ex
>ignore her for half a week
>she starts begging for me to talk to her again
>oblige, start talking to her on facebook and at school again
>we start getting close as shit
>she starts telling me over facebook how horny she is and shit
>sexual tension is so thick you could cut it with a knife
>yesterday, some event thing, we're in the cafeteria doing some shit, I wasn't paying attention
>she starts talking about how she's horny, etc
>start jokingly poking her tits
>keeps going from there
>eventually have my hands up her shirt fondling her tits and my hands in her pants
>get home, she sends me nudes
>next day we have lunch together
>sitting in lunch line with my arm around her
>rubbing her side and teasing her
>lower my hand down her back
>do she got a booty?
>SHE DOOOOOO
>get home today
>sends me pics of her pussy
I'd post them, but the FBI would take me to the everlasting party.
>>23239805
>Getting robbed
What are you implying?
http://youtu.be/45glq7huJJc
>>23243832
>lower my hand down her back
>do she got a booty?
>SHE DOOOOOO
>mfw reading
![getty_rm_photo_of_hockey_player_missing_tooth[1].jpg](https://i.imgur.com/gZ5Aq4b.jpg "getty_rm_photo_of_hockey_player_missing_tooth[1].jpg")
>>23243448
>You fucking bowl cut having busta ass hockey,
>>23243832
>I'd post them, but
sounds like true love to me
>this morning
>wake up to phone call from friend's fiancé
>we've become pretty good friends as well
>she asks if I want to smoke a cigarette with her before work
>well, since I'm awake...
>go outside
>she's already there (they live next to me)
>sad country music playing on her phone
>says she fucked up really bad and can't tell anyone
>she says she cheated on my friend and now she regrets it and wants to tell him but he'll probably leave her
>ask her why she did it
>says she didn't think she'd care because she had cheated on other guys and not cared but it was different this time
>thought she wanted something different with the wedding less than a month away
>don't really know what to say
Bonus Story
>apparently she did it last Sunday
>last Sunday she showed up at my place with a bunch of weed and a pack of smokes, obviously spent time getting ready
>wants to chill, not unusual
>whole time obviously flirting with me, talking about scenarios where we end up together/her and her fiancé break up
>figure it's not what I think, ignore it
>later in she starts texting someone a whole lot
>leaves, says she has to "go get my thing from that place, someone's coming to get me"
>yeah, ok
>now I realize she picked me first, and the other guy was her backup dick
>>23240077
>knowing someone cares about you enough to be eachother's first
Fuck you and your happy fulfilling lifestyle.
I come here to forget how much of a loser I am, not be reminded of it.
>>23243944
You need to tell your friend immediately that this has all occurred. If she tells him first expect her to bring you into the conversation and trash your friendship.
>>23243934
kek
>>23240077
>>23241715
>>23243621
>>23243655
>>23244019
>not losing virginity at 13
LOL
>>23244063
this.
why are some women such pieces of shit? for every loyal good one there's like 5 selfish assholes.
>>23240097
srsly
>>23240140
this
you will be fucking rich with all the funs you can carry
>tfw your anti-gun boss ends up funding your gun hobbies
>>23244063
I'm giving her the chance to tell him. I can't deny her the opportunity to do what's right like that, it'll only make things worse.
If she brings me into this, I'll deal with it. I haven't done anythig wrong, and have nothing to fear.
If she hasn't told him in a day or 2, I will tell him.
>>23244213
You're a good friend, Anon.
>>23242270
We are blood brothers, Anon. It is time to move on. There is a girl out there who is truly ideal for you and there's no reason to fuck around with your own heart waiting for the old one to change back.
>>23244151
your dad doesn't count
>>23244151
It's not our fault we weren't raised catholic
The girl of my dreams told me on Monday that she and her boyfriend are planning to get married and honestly, it was almost a relief to know that there's no real chance of getting back together with her.
Oh, and there's a gun show this weekend, but I probably won't get anything because all of my fun funds are going to an AR build.
>>23244213
>I haven't done anythig wrong
She told you she cheated and you haven't told your friend that. Your friend may definitely feel you've done something wrong.
>>23239782
>I'd trust you with my life, but not to tell me what the color of the sky is
>>23244164
That's a bout the average for all people in my experience.
>>23240042
>SHOOT TO THRILL
>AND I'M READY TO KILL
>>23244356
Buy some jerky and build your tears away.
>>23239782
gud enough.
I wouldn't rape your kids or nothin', but you know we'd do some dangerous fun shit.
>>23241814
That's an absolute bullshit story. His name IS Anon Emoose
>>23244428
That's my plan, /k/omrade.
>>23244213
No matter what you think society has told you, normal people will resent you for your complicity towards peoples crimes.
>Anon, why do you want a gun?
>To protect myself and you guys in case of emergency
>Oh please, if they break into the house I'd just let them take whatever. It's insured!
The worst part is, that was my dad. My mom was basically "As long as you know what you're doing"
>>23242270
Anon, I am exactly where you are on that issue. Just hang in there man.
mom several years ago
>anon i'm worried about your obsession with guns. serial killers are obsessed with guns.
mom now
>anon you should start carrying a gun with you everywhere.
>>23242460
>BAN ASSAULT NISSANS
>tfw she got married
>>23242484
>Anon, I love that you aren't into guns
heh, yeah
>So, what was that gift you wanted to give me
n-nothing
I wanted to give her a romantic nugget ;_;
>>23243099
>You need to be blacker
Does she want you to rape her, murder her, then dump her body in the woods?
>>23241399
>>23241670
which is why it is important to imply your powerlevel. i wouldnt go full super saiyan 4 on her right away tho. just imply and try not to spaghetti too hard
>>23239782
>>23244396
>you now know what being in government feels like
>>23243371
Don't speak for everyone I don't hate Zed
>>23244931
Then you're probably a newfag
>>23244951
Nope been around for years.
>>23243789
Get all asthmatic stripping weapons? o.O
>>23240200
I remember one anon here who's family shat all over him for prepping, then they got hit by hurricane sandy, rushed to him for food and water, then continued to shit all over his prepping after things got better.
