>you will never be american
>you will never be able to try all the food exclusive to the USA, which is taken for granted by all Americans
>you will never be able to experience USA high schools, or even middle schools or elementary
>you will never be able to do the pledge of allegiance every morning to start your school day with pride
>you will never be able to go to the shooting range with dad as he teaches you your right to bear arms and how to hunt and protect yourself
>you will never be able to have an American accent
>you will never be able to vote for an american presidential candidate
>you will never be able to take planes just to go to another part of your country
>you will never be able to get a tattoo of the USA
>you will never be able to use hulu
>>59536808
but I am
>>59536808
>never be able to use hulu
Is there no bongoland version?
I like this post, it's subtle enough that Americans won't notice it's satire.
>>59537089
delet this
>>59536808
>>you will never be able to get a tattoo of the USA
What's stopping you, Nigel?
>>59537089
I notice your elitism yet strangely you are not a european
I am saddened by your lack of compassion
>>59537089
Oh really?
>>59536808
Did all of the above, except got a "don't tread on me" tattoo. Was a good life, lads.
>>59536808
you can be honorary american
>>59536808
What food is exclusive to USA that someone would want to try? Genuinely curious
>>59540331
Though the British love to talk shit about American food because "muh additives", they are all actually obsessed with it.
>>you will never be able to have an American accent
Do pikeys still think that their accent gets them any cred whatsoever? Sluts only go for german and aussie accents.
Otherwise, american english is extremely cosmopolitan and masculine, perfect in both business and socialization.
>>59540397
My "good ol' boy" southern accent got me tons of ass while living in the UK. The British are actually the biggest Ameriboos in the world, but they hate to admit it.
>>59540801
What did he mean by this?
>>59541053
Come again?
>>59537074
I came to ask this.
>>59536808
Just annex us back into the empire. Both countries will be made great again and you can move over here freely
>>59537074
oy, no hulu?
>>59541159
Don't want anything to do with Britain, tbqhwy
>>59540363
There's loads of shitty sweet shops called "mr Simms" where British people pay 5x the normal price for American food that mostly tastes like shit because it's not suited to British fast and it's spent 2 years in a cargo container somewhere.
E.g. Pop tarts, Kool aid, Hershey's
>>59541193
Plus you have loads of American food in all of your grocers, many American-style restaurants, and label anything big, lavish, or luxurious as "American style" (car washes, hot tubs, appliances, etc.)
do people actually envy living in this shit country
third world shitholes need not apply
>>59541324
Until you live abroad, you will never really appreciate how good you have it in the US.
>>59541324
It's literally the same quality of life for middle class persons throughout the west. The US is fine.
You only quality as an American if you high school had an indoor shooting range.
Outdoor and decommissioned shooting ranges will grant you a partial, provisional citizenship.
>>59536808
>tfw every 4th of July my local supermarket has an aisle dedicated to rare American goods
![american-abundance[1].jpg](https://i.imgur.com/t7qQb6C.jpg "american-abundance[1].jpg")
>>59541611
>rare American goods
no such thing
>>59541324
It's pretty good if you're not poor.
tfw youll never live the american dream
tfw youll always be subhuman shitskin
>>59541824
>tfw subhuman shitskin living the American dream
>>59541824
>ywn be an edgy American middle class white boy
>>59541869
impregnate some white trash for me too :(
SO MOVE TO AMERICA YOU FUCKING RETARDS BAD POOOOOOST
>>59536808
>you will never be able to try all the food exclusive to the USA, which is taken for granted by all Americans
What exactly do you want to try?
>you will never be able to experience USA high schools, or even middle schools or elementary
I had a pretty miserable time in all three. You're not missing much.
>you will never be able to do the pledge of allegiance every morning to start your school day with pride
I never did this. Even got bitched at by a Vietnam vet teacher for it.
>you will never be able to go to the shooting range with dad as he teaches you your right to bear arms and how to hunt and protect yourself
Never been. My family doesn't like guns.
>you will never be able to have an American accent
It's not all that great.
>you will never be able to vote for an american presidential candidate
Same as above.
>you will never be able to take planes just to go to another part of your country
While I do love the diversity of landscapes we have, this is a hassle.
>you will never be able to get a tattoo of the USA
No one's stopping you.
>you will never be able to use hulu
Never used it.
>>59542051
why do you self hate tho ?
>White, blonde, blue-eyed
>upper-middle class family
>nice suburban house with big yard and friendly neighbors
>jock in high school
>played catch with dad
>spent weekends and afternoons playing with neighborhood kids in the woods with no supervision
>in boy scouts
>went on vacations to the beach and lake every year
>had cute doggie
>got car at 16 and went to drive-in movies to make out with qts
>worked on cars and drank beer in garage with friends as a teen
>went to prom
>in college fraternity
>banged qts at huge frat parties that always got out of control
>job at dads manufacturing company after graduating
>collect 1960's americana
>have qt wife who cooks, cleans, and thinks that traditional gender roles are the way to go
>own nice house
>go shoot guns with friends
>have barbecues, dinner parties, and sit drinking a beer in the hammock on weekends
I am living the American dream.
>>59542106
because he is an edgy teen autist who knows nothing about the real world
>>59542106
I'm from New Jersey.
>>59536808
>>you will never be able to try all the food exclusive to the USA, which is taken for granted by all Americans
this desu. we have a lot of great food here. muh micro restaurants and sheeit
>>you will never be able to experience USA high schools, or even middle schools or elementary
school is terrible and sucks. i hated all 3.
>>you will never be able to do the pledge of allegiance every morning to start your school day with pride
after the first couple years in elementary it gets really boring to say the pledge every day for about 12 years. i never had an issue with it like sitting down or something like a faggot
>>you will never be able to go to the shooting range with dad as he teaches you your right to bear arms and how to hunt and protect yourself
my brother, my dad and I would go up into the mountains and find liter that the drunken indians left over like beer bottles and shoot them by setting them up on rocks.
>>you will never be able to have an American accent
i have that "neutral" accent. Kind of boring desu.
>>you will never be able to vote for an american presidential candidate
trump 2016. gas the kikes race war now!
>>you will never be able to take planes just to go to another part of your country
LA, San diego, san fran etc and all that shit is like an hour flight from here desu
>>you will never be able to get a tattoo of the USA
tattoos are degenerate
>>you will never be able to use hulu
never used hulu wut
>>59536808
>>you will never be able to take planes just to go to another part of your country
do people actually envy this shit
mah\ybe russia understands how much of a hassle this is
>>59542327
Yeah, I've always wanted to see the desert, and I have to pay out the ass to get there. It's a shame.
>>59542164
And yet you come here to shitpost
>>59542985
shitposting is part of our duty as americans
>>59541659
>let's take our pool TO THE FUCKING LAKE
>should we bring the lawnmower too?
>should we have steaks or hotdogs? Both? Okay.
I love this country.
