that one Australian lad who's hoping his parcel comes today Edition
australian lad with the spooky guitar story please continue
4 20 am blaze it fagit
*breaks your window*
NO SURRENDEEEEEEEEEERRRRRR
Anyone enough of a NEET to watch this film with me?
>>58747004
Personally I find potential supernatural shit way more terrifying than any man who might be in my house uninvited, the dog would alert me anyway if she doesn't get eaten first. Feeling a bit spooked now, might as well take this chance to read some innawoods stories I saved.
>>58747045
I'd rather get John Constantine to sort it desu.
God I want a Welsh gf
No Glock in the dashboard
No need to grab yours
Blade in my jeans, you can get it if you ask for it
Rewind, fast forward, pause
Let me ash, boy
Every time I see a bitch, she always wanna chat, boy
>>58747048
i did not give you permission to make a thread about me
>>58747069
she was so fat she didn't notice she was pregnant or that she'd miscarried and the baby had started rotting inside her vagoo
OH HEY GUYS :DDD AHAHAHA
>Doe in heat urine will also attract bucks
anyone willing to test this
>>58747117
well you're here
>>58747073
>>58747098
GET OUT!
>>58746760
help
australian lad with the spooky guitar story please continue
australian lad with the spooky guitar story please continue
australian lad with the spooky guitar story please continue
>>58747137
go on lad
>>58747137
ask the question
>>58747137
What do you need help with mate?
>>58747137
Yes you are gay.
Ahhh yes , a Greyson Perry documentary on masculinity and a documentary on billionaire Chinese migrants spending their fortunes in London. Brilliant Channel 4. Outstanding
ah yes it's a 'do nothing on public holiday' day
>>58747147
>>58747158
>>58747161
>>58747170
>>58747176
I need to make a presentation about a movie I really love and I'm trying to make it about Dogtooth or Irreversible.
Can't decide which one.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QFtDzK64-pk
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OU-ZOHeWLkU
Which one would you pick?
>>58747170
t. the repressed gay who can't stop talking about gay shit
>>58747214
Dogtooth
>>58747214
what a shit question twobh
>>58747064
there's not much more to say tbqh lad. i don't really tell people but that's just because cba more than anything.
i'm only bothered because i don't know what did it. the only hypothesis i came to was that a large moth might have flown into the string or something when i wasn't looking. however, there wasnt a moth in my room and ive flicked the string since to see if i could be right and it's never been as loud and a moth would almost certainly hit the A string. this was a loudly plucked E string only
business idea: rorke hotline
>>58747214
Dogtooth
>>58747135
are you a doe in heat
>>58747237
Omg what happened I wasn't in the last thread x
>>58747223
>repressed
>>58747256
could be, might get myself diagnosed
"Don't cry because it's over, smile because it happened." - Adolf Htler
>>58747236
I know but I can't decide and can't show those movies to me mum or she'll think I'm a kind of freak.
>>58747255
>>58747242
Thanks lads
>>58747098
Lincoln, is that you?
Really tired but also really horny.
off to beddy byes
n'night lads
business idea: rasheeds in a ditch
>>58747258
: ^ ) City?
>>58747265
Not a particularly creative or original post
3/10
>>58747237
would literally go full out spiritual if that happened to me
Bit dark
hmmmmmmm
I just want to cuddle and smell her hair again
Favorite Twilight Zone episodes?
The Howling Man is pretty interesting
>Guy visits German monastery
>howling from the basement
>Man locked inside the cell with just a shepherd's staff blocking it
>Monks tell him they got Satan
>Thats why the world has been so peaceful lately
>Guy doesn't believe them
>Removes the staff
>Satan kills him
>escapes
>>58747317
>Dark
>Bad
>>58747257
i'll just copy paste it from the last thread la
>home one night
>no one else home
>no possible source of noise
>hear a couple of footsteps in my living room
>go out there
>no one there
>alriiiiii
>go back to room
>sit down at computer
>5 mins go by
>E string of my guitar is suddenly plucked so hard it rings throughout the house
>>58747313
I've never had one before and don't think I will tonight.
>>58747342
fuck off grandad
>>58747350
will probably remember this story for the rest of my life
Need somewhere warm and wet to put my willy.
A girl rejected me tonight lads
We were talking well. So I ask her does she want to shift (kiss) And she said not really
Awful feel
Sitting next to some DAFT cunt in the Uni library who keeps drinking from his water bottle every 3 seconds (not joking) and it makes that weird sucking noise.
Absolutely furious.
anyone else got any ghost stories? x
>>58747395
A fucking twat just whipped out his phone and starts booking a doctors appointment in a loud booming voice. Are all the troglodytes out today?
>>58747389
You don't ask to kiss you just do it
>>58747342
The zoo on mars
united cuckdom
hehehehe
>>58747395
Have a sip and if he confronts you just place your hand on his, look him in the eyes, and say "I'm a big boy and I'm parched, Papa". Literally works the vast majority of time
>tfw no Taylor Swift gf
>>58747342
Mine is "Walking Distance", where the guy walks back to his home town trying to relive his childhood and ends up walking back in time.
Also the one with the little spaceship and the old lady.
>>58747442
>>58747316
yeah idk hahaha like i said i just utterly shit myself and then burst into laughter because of how scared i was.
>>58747366
:D
>>58747213
oh fucking hell, it's a public holiday today?
my parcel is never going to fucking get here
Lads im drinking water and the poof next to me's whinging ahaha
>>58747415
"Frontiersmen are not, as a rule, apt to be very superstitious. They lead lives too hard and practical, and have too little imagination in things spiritual and supernatural. I have heard but few ghost stories while living on the frontier, and those few were of a perfectly commonplace and conventional type. But I once listened to a goblin-story, which rather impressed me.
A grizzled, weather beaten old mountain hunter, named Bauman who, born and had passed all of his life on the Frontier, told it the story to me. He must have believed what he said, for he could hardly repress a shudder at certain points of the tale.
When the event occurred, Bauman was still a young man, and was trapping with a partner among the mountains dividing the forks of the Salmon from the head of Wisdom River. They then struck out on foot through the vast, gloomy forest, and in about four hours reached a little open glade where they concluded to camp, as signs of game were plenty.
They were surprised to find that during their absence something, apparently a bear, had visited camp, and had rummaged about among their things, scattering the contents of their packs, and in sheer wantonness destroying their lean-to.
While Bauman was making ready supper, it being already dark, his companion began to examine the tracks more closely, and soon took a brand from the fire to follow them up, where the intruder had walked along a game trail after leaving the camp. When the brand flickered out, he returned and took another, repeating his inspection of the footprints very closely. Coming back to the fire, he stood by it a minute or two, peering out into the darkness, and suddenly remarked, "Bauman, that bear has been walking on two legs."
>>58747451
Just did that, he got up quickly and went to a different table. Should I follow him?
>tfw genuinely can't shout/scream
If I'm ever in trouble, I'm fucked
you're all literally hitler
good lads
we had a fucking public holiday on monday last week when i was waiting for parcels then
this is so fucking bullshit
i hate australia post, bunch of lazy cunts
>>58747500
What's this from?
too late to start drinking?
>>58747520
*adds your name to list of potential rape victims*
>>58747415
My mum has a few that are spoopy
>mummy's from the country
>they own a different house in some other fuck off rural area
>whenever she used to stay they when she was a kid in a room she shared with her brother they use to wake up to an elderly woman at the end of their bed who would pull the covers up on them if they weren't covering them
>use to smell cigarette smoke and hear farm hands talking at 4am despite the fact that the place hadn't been a dairy farm since the 40s
>there had been murders there
>great grandma use to live there by herself and constantly saw black cats in the front yard
>one time my great grandma woke up to a monkey at the end of her bed
>one time she got wrapped up in a curtain and found
>had to call a priest to exorcise the house
It sounds a bit comical typing it out but its genuinely fucking scary. Real nigga type of strange spookyness though
Asked my mum about it a couple months ago cause she hadnt mentioned it since I was a kid and she still stands by everything she said
>>58747522
I am actually closer to Mussolini
>>58747565
*cracks open a beer*
*hands you said beer*
It's five o'clock SOMEWHERE!!!
why the fuck do we even need may day in australia anyway? it's supposed to be a spring celebration but it's fucking autumn here for fuck's sake
Hello, I need your help lads.
X and Y - which is the former and which is the latter? X is former and Y is latter, am I correct? I always get these mixed up.
>>58747500
After this the two men slept but little, sitting up by the rekindled fire, but they heard nothing more. In the morning they started out to look at the few traps they had set the previous evening and put out new ones. . On nearing it they saw, hardly to their astonishment that the lean-to had again been torn down. The visitor of the preceding day had returned, and in wanton malice had tossed about their camp kit and bedding, and destroyed the shanty.
The men, thoroughly uneasy, gathered a great heap of dead logs and kept up a roaring fire throughout the night, one or the other sitting on guard most of the time. About midnight the thing came down through the forest opposite, across the brook, and stayed there on the hillside for nearly an hour. They could hear the branches crackle as it moved about, and several times it uttered a harsh, grating, long-drawn moan, a peculiarly sinister sound. Yet it did not venture near the fire.
All the morning they kept together, picking up trap after trap, each one empty. On first leaving camp they had the disagreeable sensation of being followed. There were still three beaver traps to collect from a little pond in a wide ravine near by. Bauman volunteered to gather these and bring them in, while his companion went ahead to camp and made ready the packs.
He took several hours in securing and preparing the beaver, and when he started homewards he marked, with some uneasiness, how low the sun was getting.
The campfire had gone out, though the thin blue smoke was still curling upwards.
Near it lay the packs wrapped and arranged. At first Bauman could see nobody; nor did he receive an answer to his call. Stepping forward he again shouted, and as he did so his eye fell on the body of his friend, stretched beside the trunk of a great fallen spruce. Rushing towards it the horrified trapper found that the body was still warm, but that the neck was broken, while there were four great fang marks in the throat.
if i killed myself right now i'd blame australia post in my suicide note
>>58747605
A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z
>>58747632
I'd blame Captain John Smith for saving the Virginia colony
THAILAD STREAM :
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uyGTLC1GqUY
>>58747605
Yeah you're right
>>58747500
>>58747609
too long
didnt read it
>>58747605
X is the former
Any NEETs here want to watch a film?
but of a long one but its a holiday tomorrow
called The Ruling Class
http://connectcast.tv/MrSnrub
http://connectcast.tv/MrSnrub
>http://connectcast.tv/MrSnrub
http://connectcast.tv/MrSnrub
http://connectcast.tv/MrSnrub
>>58747559
http://www.bigfootencounters.com/classics/bauman.htm
Bigfoot story written by Theodore Roosevelt, President from 1901-1909
My parcel just arrived lads, only ordered the item two days ago. Everyday I thank the gods that I don't live in >Queensland
How did I do?
>>58747633
Fuck off.
>>58747661
>>58747673
Really? Thank you lads. I thought I was going insane over thinking this. Thanks again.
>>58747658
Would rather dip my sagging testies into a scolding cup of water then sit through a second of that borish cunt talk
*puts a cinderblock on my testies*
Uuuuuuuuuugghhaaaaaaaaaa my dudes
>>58747577
That sounds like a terrifying experience, it's probably some undiscovered creature knowing Aussieland
>>58747484
I'm not american
>>58747704
>.<
>>58747704
>2 days is quick in Bruceland
I get most shit delivered same day here
>>58747722
It was definitely beezebub himself getting up to some cheeky antics
>>58747715
stop chatting shit about Thailad
and get that cinder block off your bollocks this instant
Speaking of parcels, I would have gotten my casio watch in the mail today but it's fucking Labour day today. I don't even work Mondays! My life is in shambles lads.
josies a bit too scared to sleep now :/
dont want any elderly tarts smothering me in the covers
give me something nice and happy to distract myself with please
>>58747706
kill yourself
I answered your question that would have took literally under two seconds to google you unresourceful moron
Literally how do people like you survive?
>>58747705
Me on the left
>>58747704
>>58747766
Fuck you ya scrotum, I want my watch
this has honestly been the worst day of my life
>>58747752
If Beelzebub was coming after my family I would definitely post about it on /brit/
I can hear the postie
>>58747818
Haha lock up your wife!
>>58747775
>Americans
>>58747805
>>58747775
By asking 4chan for advice.
What could go wrong?
>>58747048
2 weeks without a single drink and i go and buy a big bottle of vodka reeeeeEEEEEEE
>>58747805
why senpai
>tfw you will never be an English lord
>>58747874
>you'll never be a Scottish junkie in Glasgow
JUST
>>58747869
not only am i broke with nothing to eat in the house until tomorrow but i don't even have my parcel coming to distract me from my misery
>>58747869
I only drink on nights out now desu, very rarely do it by myself, just don't care for alcohol anymore when I feel so much better without it.
>>58747772
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KT_155-ROy0
>>58747903
I'm living the dream 2bh
thialad i bet you might have a wtf this means
it says i need to pay duties tax but there's there's no option to pay it
wat do?
>>58747855
I'm 100% correct though
>>58747866
>ask 4chan for advice on a question that would have taken no time to google
>get the correct answer
>tell them to fuck off for answering your shit question
hang yourself
Anyone want to get high and watch the sunrise with me?
>>58747912
i've gotten drunk to the point of passing out every single night for 6 years
still thinking about the aussie with the guitar
>>58747772
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EZgmj5ay5Bk
>>58747947
You won't live long desu
my armpits itch to be honest
>>58747946
I'm already high but I never open my curtains and I don't plan on doing it for you.
>>58747976
Well OK then. >:(
who is josie
>>58747905
;_; man...
>>58747912
i'm heading that way myself
>>58747996
hahaha thailad just grassed on you to the janny
>>58747929
thailad pls
anyone pls
>>58747999
Sorry senpai but I try to avoid sunlight as much as possible, plus my windowsill will no doubt be disgustingly dirty.
>>58747996
thailad stop it
>>58748001
>they replaced the Michel's patisserie and replaced it with a bread top so now I can't get meat pies
REEEEEEEE FUCKING CHINESE INVASION
would a scottish person in australia still be a pom or is that just english people?
bonus question: what about wales/ni
>>58748060
Dunno
THAILAD IS WATCHING THIS THREAD ON HIS STREAM RIGHT NOW
WE'RE FAMOUS BOYS
>>58748060
they'd be scottish or welsh
when i think pom i think faggoty ye old time english accent
>...he has no ambition and no energy. He will not even go out of his way to verify his own solutions, and would rather be considered wrong than take the trouble to prove himself right. Again and again I have taken a problem to him, and have received an explanation which has afterwards proved to be the correct one. And yet he was absolutely incapable of working out the practical points...
>>58748060
Nah poms just for English people (Wales included)
Don't know what our term for a Scot is
Fuck you thailad you fucking smug cunt
>>58748102
why do you call brits poms when you're only something like 3rd generation brits yourselves
also are yugo immigrants distinguishable after the 2nd generation
Do any of you lads fancy meeting up for a fight?
Thailad is HIV positive
>>58748102
What do you think about northerners vs southerners?
Morning lads.
doing a poo
>>58748163
morning cunt
Night lads.
>>58748130
>why do you call brits poms when you're only something like 3rd generation brits yourselves
because you deported all the testosterone :^)
>What do you think about northerners vs southerners?
don't know the situation well enough to distinguish between the two 2bh lol
screw face
I wonder how many Aussies post here regularly.
>not (You)ing me
fuck you too bruce
having a wank
Thailad is literally a Rasheed
wish I was asleep
Doing a post
goodnight lids
work tomorrow, unfortunately
xoxox
>>58748258
But monday is a bank holiday, friend :^)
thailad has a nasally voice when he speaks chinkyspeak
Mummy's waking up for work, the slag. When she goes I can do my big naked wank!
Think I would honestly murder someone to get my benis into a qt Russian girl.
>>>gif/8489531
>>58748293
>monday is a bank holiday, friend :^)
the postal service better fucking keep running
i swear to fucking god if my parcels aren't here tomorrow
>>58748326
hahah you thought that linked
There's a yank sitting next me haha
Jokes brah its bird shit
>>58748380
wont this image take up your entire allowance
Gonna tear it up at work tomorrow
Gonna talk a lot of shit to my shit talking coworkers while I do it, and help the new guys out because they're all fucking retarded
May even eyeball some qts on the job site
>>58748349
No post, I'm afraid.
https://personal.help.royalmail.com/app/answers/detail/a_id/5346/~/service-update---public-holidays
>>58748380
fuck off billionaire
someone call thailad
where the f is he
*changes my reckless ways*
>>58748426
FUCK THE POST OFFICE
YOU CUNTS SHOULD'VE BEEN ASSET STRIPPED LONG AGO
I had sex this weekend lads
FYI
>>58747048
>>58747048
>>58747048
HEY LADS come join the banter
no irish allowed tho
https://livebunker.rocks/chat/int#General
smallest airport I've ever been in lads
There are only two destinations
>>58748501
pics
why are you there
aren't you afraid the planes will collapse
>>58748501
My way or the highway
>>58748501
Bit late for the poms to get involved in Vietnam isnt it
>>58748501
Do they even x-ray your willy for explosives there?
nothing like a shot of vodka to wake you up in the morning
Ted Kaczynski was right about everything
>>58748320
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
Holy shit
Just found out they put Do Not Resuscitate orders on thousands of people without them or their families ever knowing
Fucking terrifying
eating a cheese and onion baguette and a costa express machine mocha, both purchased from a shell garage just off the M5... Fucking bank holidays haha
my little brother has the most horrendous taste in women
he's alright looking and smart but such a push over that he'll take whoever applies first holy shit
this one is afraid of dentists and has massive ass holes in her teeth why bruv why the fuck are you doing this to yourself
>>58748618
Your brother sounds like me, and you sound like my older brother.
>>58748639
LISTEN TO YOUR BROTHER THEN YOU SHIT
>>58748618
at least your little brother isn't gay like mine, i feel pressured to have kids
odds i make a fish finger sandwich
R8 ma new work boots
>>58748750
Jealous
My boots are shit
>>58748659
It's confidence issues, lad, and also laziness. I am a good looking guy, and I have had 7/10 gfs. But right now I am banging a proper fatt who is barely a 4 (her teeth are fine though so thats something). I feel ashamed of myself after sex, but I don't have the confidence or the motivation to go and chase hot women, they are hard work. I will basically take anyone who's interested in me, I also really like the attention I get from girls who are below my league. The other problem is I am a worthless layabout, so I never sustain a relationship with someone who could easily find someone else
>>58748750
8/10
Morning lads. Morning nonce.
*wastes money on frivolities*
Thainonce
Think I've finally become so miserable that being slightly less miserable seems like a good time
>>58748157
>>58748125
>>58748220
>>58748791
>>58748812
How fucking dare you.
>>58748816
Chin up you fucking sap
>>58748775
Fuck off an 8
Right lads I'm tired, I'll see you later if I don't die in my sleep.
Haha that would be funny.
>>58748849
got a fuckin problem w/ it m8?
Near death experience just then, almost got hit by a truck, wew
>>58748887
is the truck okay?
gf dumped me because I wouldn't buy a PS4 and she wouldn't buy a PC, so we couldn't play games together.
Happy with my decision desu
Mandied off my nuts lads
>>58748879
Yeah 8 is big w tier, my shit is a 10nna eaaasy
>>58748901
How do you even get a gf?
>>58748901
Literally got a xbox 1 on layby to game with my mate. Dont dog ur mate. Dont dog ur misses
>>58748900
Yes, the driver though's a cunt, yelled at me
>>58748905
Are you euphoric atm
>>58749028
Nah monging out bruv
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uyGTLC1GqUY
THAI NONCE IS DOING PRANK CALLS
goodnight :/
>>58749140
goodnight?
decided to stay up because a good night's sleep isnt in the job description
my employers will have to work with a half sentient me later this morning
fuck them
>>58749140
Oi before you go, can I have a minute to talk about our Saviour Jesus?
>>58749185
Keeping a job isnt in the job description, perform properly, or not at all. Pull your weight, youre dragging down the team
>>58749043
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aGjZVQlITJo
morning :)
>>58749244
Noted mate
https://www.fb.com/barackobama/posts/10153838450556749
what was the point of this
>>58749257
Good afternoon
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=A9F11D41Bgs
Really enjoy this Charli choon 2bh lads
>>58749257
how do
Morning wagecucks, whats the agenda for today
>>58749239
>the team
it's me and the manager
i dont plan on working there past this month anyway
what picture is thailad talking about?
>>58749352
enjoy my bank holiday :^)
yeah i'm pissed off because it means my parcel won't; arrive
>>58747929
oiiiiii thailad help meh pls
>>58749368
So business as usual
alri thailad
>>58749404
working hard or hardly working ;)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=D0qwbEHBCUQ
both ears are clogged lads
>>58749244
fucking biglad Umek.. Jesus
oi mate this apple is like your mum
a little tart!
ahahahahahaha
thailad just post your face already for fucks sake cunt
>>58749294
Barrack HUSSEIN Obama
it is seriously hard to find a good hairdresser
>>58749496
Next one will say 'CHINK'
Getting a job isn't hard. Just stop being poor and stupid
>>58749544
>>58749535
What, too good for the ol fuck my shit up??
how do i get this needy girl to stop messaging me?
Why so many Straya cunts in here or, just one attention seeker?
what's this frog on a unicycle meme about
lads
do not think i will be sleeping for a bit
If Spurs lose or draw vs Chelsea, Lester wins the league?
>>58749597
All me tbf
>>58749597
The miss dad
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ejorQVy3m8E
