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/brit/ - The Call Me Dave Edition
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You are currently reading a thread in /int/ - International

Thread replies: 255
Thread images: 77
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cara
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>>58235671
What a nonce
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maisie
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lads
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>>58235682
bit lazy of you m8

you posted that exact image 49 minutes ago
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eight chan is still down lads
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>Poleaboo just heard "I dreamed a dream" on tv

Really hurts when they get to "I dreamed my life would be so different now for the one I'm living"
>>
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don't pretend to miss the drop like me
>>
Lads if I just go full psychopath will I become rich.

Pretty sure I could stop caring about everyone.
>>
>it's a mong that puts the edition in the subject thread

nah not a fan
>>
it's time, lads

https://youtu.be/1Lmq6RDn5O8

*kneels down, prostrated, facing Mecca*
>>
>>58235781
shut up
>>
>>58235768
its not the same image lid
>>
>>58235790
think you mean sociopath

Psychopaths tend to end up eating their mum
>>
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alri lads
>>
Frankie Boyle vs Akala
>>
THE DAILY MAIL

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/travel/travel_news/article-3551355/They-ll-never-learn-Man-asks-internet-Photoshop-botched-tourist-picture-Leaning-Tower-Pisa-inundated-hilarious-results.html
>>
>>58235850
me on the right
>>
>>58235775
>going on that site

utter wasteman
>>
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>>58235781
Don't worry Poleaboo.
It gets better.
>>
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Ched Evans rape conviction quashed
>>
>>58235806
Literally no one cares what you think.

Even your own family
>>
>>58235827
fair enough but I had to get my telescope out to tell the difference
>>
we should end /brit/

it is a containment thread,

why should we be contained? are we cucks no? we could overrun this board if we wanted to, why restrict ourselveS?
>>
>>58235910
t. mong that puts the edition in the subject
>>
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>>58235882
does it
>>
>>58235904
Emily.
>>
quite sad about prince and chyna
>>
hmm?
>>
>>58235904
Re-trail though.
>>
>>58235724
Is that his kid?
>>
>>58235904
He's already out on license, it's a pointless gesture. Even if he gets found not guilty this time he can't sue for unlawful imprisonment, and he's never going to get another footie job.

His life is over. This will change nothing
>>
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>the Queen was born on National Tea Day
>>
>>58235924
that would require some kind of coordination amongst ourselves which i severely doubt we could pull off
>>
imagine if cats were
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>>58235961
wtf is going on this year though? everybody's fucking dying
>>
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I wanna smoke but don't have any. Not smoked in about 3 months!! Probably longer.

Why does summer make me want to indulge in drugs.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fe4EK4HSPkI
>>
>>58235850
frankie is shit
>>
>>58235929
Yes, you're right. What are you going to do about it?
>>
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>>58235991
too fucking right
>>
>>58235991
just stop posting in /brit/ and diffuse into the rest of /int/.
>>
just done an exaggerated yawn
>>
>>58235831
Don't think sociopath is a recognised condition anymore.
>>
>Think I got all the jizz in the tissue
>Dab pubes with hand
>Massive sticky blob of cum stuck in there
>>
>>58235992

...??
>>
>>58236034
but the rest of /int/ is shit
>>
>>58235992
*imagines*
>>
>>58236016
I like sitting outside in the mild evening air smoking desu
>>
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>>58235882
I'm sure it does

>>58235978
>>58235904
Why does Ched get more sympathy for Poleaboo?

Just because he can afford a better solicitor?
>>
>>58235978

except it proves yet again that most women are liars when they say white men raped them, and more women will be encouraged to lie about rape to ruin lives
>>
>>58235978
>His life is over.
Bit dramatic.
>>
>>58236067
one /brit/izen designated to each general ought to fix ot
>>
>>58236076
>Just because he can afford a better solicitor?

I think we both know it's because you're a paki
>>
>>58236007
Victoria Wood aswell innit
>>
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>>58235952
It does.
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>>58235924
>t. the janny
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>>58236073
Yes! I live with my parents but they're going to be away all summer so I have the house to myself.

Gonna turn it into a giant hot box.
>>
>>58236016
because you're a narcissistic heathen
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>I like sitting outside in the mild evening air smoking
>>
>sat flicking through the paper before the lecture
>was reading the sports pages in the sun
>some twat comes over and starts telling me how bad the sun is and how 'the i' is superior

Bloody sad act.
>>
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Anybody want anything in the shop lads?
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mad when you think an actual racist man could be reading your post right now
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>>58236076
because some people actually think Ched was innocent whilst everyone is in agreement that you're a deluded pervert
>>
have not had a broken phone screen in like 10 years

fuming
>>
>>58236156
Don't like smoking inside tbqh
>>
>>58236207
Magnum
>>
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Fooking 'ell lads, slow down, barely even got to shitpost in the last one

t.East Anglia
>>
>>58236207
bag of quavers, a-and a gf
>>
haven't replied to the gf's texts for like two days she's sent me like 12 messages she's probably doing her nut in fucking hell
>>
>Tfw reading is my only escape

Literally do nothing but wait to get home from a job I hate so I can open my book again

Might become homeless and just read all day
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>>58236224
why do you post these? they're all ugly and irritating as fuck

just fuck off
>>
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>Don't like smoking inside tbqh
>>
just downloaded some porn for later
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>>58236174
Admittedly I am very narcissistic, but I don't know how you came to that conclusion from my post.

Do you guys ever think about life and death. It's fucking amazing. We live once and only once and after that, nothing, just darkness for all eternity. How can you even comprehend that.

Makes me feel overcome with emotion.
>>
Lads is there a drug I can take that will stop me being a lazy bastard and workout and do my job property
>>
>>58236227
Poleaboo isn't CRIMINALLY guilty though

Yes he did the shit he was accused of but what he did didn't violate the law
>>
>>58236305
amphetamine
>>
>>58236269
Tell her to fuck off. You can blow off steam and she'll take it as a joke.
>>
shiiiiieeeeet
>>
>>58236305

Love
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>>58236305
Christ
>>
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>>58236207
D'ya do frazzles? If not get Skips

>>58236205
>reading the sun
I bet you watch football with the lads at work too, son.

>>58236224
phror, got anymore?
>>
>>58236270
Music is always a good escape for me. I can have a fucking shit day at work but I can get home and have a few beers or a joint, listen to some music and everything is perfect.
>>
>>58236305
Berocca
>>
dont reply to him
>>
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Dinner time. Baked potato came out great. Shame they take so long to make though.
>>
>>58236305

smoek a joint bro
>>
>>58236305
JUST DO ITamine
>>
>>58236329
Poleaboo wanked off into a girl's shoe.
>>
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>>58236352
>tfw addicted to this drug but my dealer left me
>>
Just got back from one of those beacon lightings for the queen's birthday lads
>>
>>58236305
yeah its called getting a life u fukin looser
>>
>>58236384

that green stuff looks like little TREES lmao
>>
>>58236384
they take about 5 minutes in the microwave

you little whore
>>
>>58236384
very nice lad
a good baked potato is always worth the wait
>>
>>58236427
What a fine way to waste valuable time.
>>
>>58236305
Cocaine
>>
>>58236224
Brehs
>>
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>>58236361
>>
*takes a pill in ibiza*
>>
/brit/ moves too fast. triggers my anxiety 2bh.
>>
>>58236408
Can some people just please take me interrailing?
>>
>Pep & Co
>mainly in the north
>"spend a little. get a lot"
ahhh yes, very impressive
>>
>>58236436
>>58236441
really enjoyed these two posts
>>
>>58236455
Ahh yes a nice walk into the local country park with my family, good view over the town and bump into a few people I know

how terrible
>>
>>58236449

It's called a baked potato not a microwaved potato.

It's all about the hard skin, and a microwave doesn't cut the mustard.

180c for 2:20. It's the only way.
>>
sister is being nice to me but i can't bring myself to be nice back
>>
>>58236482
ooh you're moving too fast
and i don't think it's right
i'm not giving you my love tonight
>>
>>58236507
no one is smuggling you out m8
>>
>>58235645
>his profile picture on facebook is an anime character.
Wowee what a huge surprise. What is it with freaks and their obsession with fucking chinky cartoons?

>few weeks ago he said that breivik wasn't a terrorist.
I've had unfortunate encounters with a lot of edgy, pathetic cunts on YouTube. I just go onto their Google+ profiles, and what do you have it, fucking anime and minecraft videos. It's always arrogant, clueless teenagers who think they're entitled to opinions.

Runts just need to be ridiculed. Poking fun at them in a nonchalant manner pierces holes into their bubble. I know a few runts like this myself. Here is a pic of one.
>>
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>>58236482
Plug it in and change the world, you are my electric girl!
>>
Literal dream woman, my life will be nothing until she's mine

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UddzU_EszbE
>>
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Bella Hadid on Gigi Hadid?
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>>58236361
>I bet you watch football with the lads at work too, son.

I don't have any mates. That's why I was reading a paper before a lecture instead of say talking.
>>
>>58236519
You could've been runtposting during all of that time you baboon
>>
imagine having sex with an actual communist
>>
>>58236583
good point tbf
>>
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>>58236469
>those shoulders
>>
SEE MAN DRIVING A GERMAN WHIP
>>
So many clueless little worms on here who think they know it all
>>
Is sparkling water bad for your teeth?

Been drinking it to help me cut down on fizzy shit
>>
tot I had a (you) desu, lads
>>
Sometimes my poos are so big it really hurts my bumhole when they come out. I make sure there is plenty of fibre in my diet this shouldn't be happening.
>>
>>58236533
dont reply to me again

i really hate you
>>
>>58236566
>dream woman
>someone who makes degenerate asmr videos about DUDE WEED seeds

nope
>>
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Why do people who talk get to decide things?????
>>
>>58236620
TWO POUND DEBIT CARD LEANING BACK
>>
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>>58236591
me irl very soon
>>
>>58236616

it's bone definition because she's so emaciated, probably bulimic
>>
dae know loads of stuff?
>>
>>
>>58236624

Just drink normal water you melt.Maybe with a splash of squash in it.
>>
>>58236653
nigga, u iz fukkin cray
>>
>>58236624
Nah. It's still just water
>>
whats rosys instagram need a wank
>>
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mass effect
>>
>>58236638

iktftbqh, lad. with increased fiber comes increased responsibility to drink more water
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>>58236687
I know nothing
>>
How much ground nutmeg would I have to consume to kill me?
>>
*distributes government funded pro-EU leaflets*

enjoy, friends
>>
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>tfw you hear a mancis song and remember her
>tfw you recall the rush of first sexual exploration
>tfw you realise it was nearly ten years ago
>tfw you come to the conclusion you had a single moment in time to make it last forever and let her slip away
>tfw you ponder now she's successful and you aren't and your paths will never realistically cross again
>>
Bird lad are you still here?

What type of bird do you have?
>>
>>58236667
take pictures of her whilst she's asleep and post them on here if you do
>>
>>58236713

RIP mako
>>
list the chain of events when all welfare, social programs ends, go!
>>
>>58236566
No matter what role play they think of in my mind it always ends in me raping them. I sleep like a baby after that.
>>
>>58236730
5

it won't be a pleasant way to go though
>>
>>58236730
5 tablespoons
>>
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>[Pumped Up Kicks intensifies]
>>
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Lads I need to decide between the Royal military police and the Household Cavalry

Which one sounds better to you

RMP pro's & con's

>24k starting
>automatically start as Lcpl
>get police quals

>could get boring
>everyone hates you

Household Cavalry
>based in centre of London in front of Hyde park, within a mile of Buckingham palace, Parliament etc
>get a sexy uniform
>ride horses
>drive tanks

>lower pay
>hard work
Pic related, the Household cav
>>
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thoughts?
>>
>>58236775
a fat one
>>
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purple rain

...purple rain
>>
does everyone overreact to everything or are my emotions dulled
>>
>>58236784
would be an unreal gimmick if i pull it off
>>
>>58236730

just take loads of benzos and opiates while in the bath
>>
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>>58236745
get very, very triggered when i hear songs that me and my oneitis listened to when i went back to hers after a night out then spent the entire next day cuddling in bed listening to music and rubbing our legs on each other then eventually fucking
>>
>>58236624
drink regular water you contemptuous peon
>>
>>58236838
RMP
>>
>>58236838
>considering MP

Congrats, you're a scumbag. You will never be happy doing anything else, so deffo go RMP.
>>
>>58236719
Yeah I was thinking that might be the problem. I never drink soft drinks only tea but it's probably not enough hydration
>>
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Why is this lass talking about shooting people and taking their money?
>>
What is wrong with privatisation with anti-monopoly laws in place?
>>
>>58236838
household cavalry because im a sucker for historical shit like that

im actually intrigued lad, its crossed my mind to try join up when i finish uni, how hard is it to join something like the household cavalry and where do i start?
>>
>>58236692
>>58236878
what difference does it make?
>>
love snuggling/cuddling/sleeping with my gf

sex is alright but kind of exhausting and messy. Cuddling and being intimate is much better desu.
>>
>>58236859
I have like 100x 50mg Tramadol and about 10x 5mg Xanax lying around. Might be like just going to sleep. Don't want my parents to find my body though.
>>
>>58236937
She and her family were literal asylum seekers
>>
Poleaboo is tired of tasking other peoples shit and will just take what he wants from now on.
>>
>>58236932
tea is a diuretic m8
>>
>>58236950
sugar is bad for you
why do you need this mong shit?
>>
>>58236855
indeed it would
how you even gonna find her
>>
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>>58236882
The only people who hate MP's are lawbreakers, scumbag
>>
>>58236840
Mucky cow I bet she's a demon in the sack. Probably how she ended up with a daughter in the first place waheeeey
>>
>>58237002
What does an RMP do?
>>
>>58237002
>if you have nothing to hide, why does it matter if GCHQ can see your internet history

Ywah, you deffo belong in the RMP
>>
>>58236962
Pro-tip. tramadol can be bad for getting high. I got seratonin syndrome from tramadol. Not nice.

>>58236969
What has that got to do with anything??
>>
Thinking of writing a letter to my supervisor asking for a pay rise,
What do you lads think the best way of going about this is?
>>
>>58236990
might try chirps her on twitter
or set my tinder location to shrewsbury
>>
>>58237045
Yeah, it's not for getting high, lad.
>>
Just watched empire of dust and really enjoyed it

anyone got any reccommendations of things like or just good documentaries in general? preferably on youtube/netflix
>>
>>58237024
Arrest lawbreaking soldiers

A little different to civ Police because MP's can literally just arrest soldiers willy nilly
>>
What would be your definition of a perfect existence?
>>
>>58237076
Having another job offer that pays more
>>
>>58237076
threaten him with bodily harm
>>
>>58236305
Pro plus
>>
>>58236962
that prob wont kill you
just fuck yu up
>>
>>58236938
>anti-monopoly laws

Bit harsh it's just a game ffs
>>
>>58237098
Sounds cool as shit DESU mate.

Do they arrest traitors? Or just make sure people get back from the pub without killing anyone?
>>
>>58237095
about anything specific?
I like this one, from when TLC was still good
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ASGvE_A3wB0
>>
*opens Eudora mailclient*
>>
just saw the word whitesplaining used
how can I take someone like that seriously
>>
>>58236944
You apply to join the British Army m8
>>
Poleaboo is going to take matters into his own hands
>>
>>58237100
Immortal
>>
>>58236952
I spend a good while grinding my morning glory against the bed on weekend mornings, just thinking of sexy things. Wish I had a nice gf to cuddle with in bed before having wonderful sex.
>>
>>58237108
Not really a choice, attending a HNC course for 3 years with the company, only partially the way through.
>>
>>58237100
insentience and inertia
>>
I am tormented by bitter regret at never having experienced the love of a woman
>>
>>58237178
DON'T DO IT POLEABOO YOU HAVE SO MUCH TO LIVE FOR.
>>
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kek
>>
>>58237247
so extreme
>>
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My anti-Muslim post exploded on reddit, upvotes all over the place.
>>
>>58237100
There isn't one

Had an existential crisis not long ago where I concluded that life is pretty meaningless outside of hedonism. Sounds fedora I know.
>>
>>58236591
as opposed to the people that lie about being communists. hate those cons
>>
>>58237100
One with a gf
>>
>>58236986
fizzy water doesn't contain sugar m8
>>
>>58237247
thought it was cocaine but who eats it
>>
>>58237275
good show
>>
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Feel like betraying my country lads, What are the fitness requirements to become a british soldier?
>>
>>58237275
>Reddit

Anything can explode on reddit.
>>
business idea: pretend to be a budding communist and ask rosy to take me under her wing and teach me the ways
>>
>>58237225
Don't lie to him m8
>>
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need a tights gf
>>
>>58237323
dont be a potato
>>
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My girlfriend is hardly talking to me lads, I told her I miss her and she didn't even reply back. She keeps telling me she has 'lots on her mind too'

Think it's time fellas.
>>
>>58237307
yeah don't even think gumming coke works

crushed up mandy maybe
>>
>tfw only good at reactionary banter and not original god-tier banter
>>
more rare flags in the nederdraad
>>
>>58237277
Yeah I know, I meant as in if your life could be ANYTHING, what would you want it to be? Living the billionaire life? Being married with kids and a stable job? Partying with the lads ever day? etc, etc.
>>
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>>58237346
same lol
>>
>>58237333
Honestly had that exact same business idea a few days ago
>>
sneaking the bf over later when mummy leaves ;)
>>
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>>58237152
Both, they arrest soldiers gone AWOL and make sure soldiers follow the law in Afghan/Iraq etc

I read somewhere that an MP has roughly the same power as a Brigadier in terms of arresting people
You need a VERY high aptitude test score to join though

Higher than the Intelligence Corps
>>
>>58237323
you have to be fit enough to carry shit and stuff
>>
>>58237100
Living out in the country with an acre or two of land, enough to grow some shit, keep some chickens or something. Minimal reliance on retailers. House doesn't have to be a mansion or anything, just something modest and well built. Minimal interference from government and a return to basic common law principles. ie all acts of parliament abolished. If you haven't demonstrably caused harm injury or loss to another person, you've done nothing wrong.
>>
>>58237277
Life is hedonism. That's what we've been raised for through school.

Get good grades so you can get a good job and '''''''''''''have a good life'''''''''''''''
>>
>>58237323
Apply Irish lad.

Maybe we'll accept foreigners in our glorious army.
>>
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>>58237323
It all depends on what regiment/role you want m8

For example Parachute regiment you want under 9 minutes on a 1.5 mile run

To be a driver or chef you want like 13 minutes
>>
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>Minimal reliance on retailers. House doesn't have to be a mansion or anything, just something modest and well built. Minimal interference from government and a return to basic common law principles. ie all acts of parliament abolished. If you haven't demonstrably caused harm injury or loss to another person, you've done nothing wrong.
>>
Just washed my face lads
>>
>>58237434
Im an unfit bastard though, that's why I'm asking. Irish are allowed join the british army so I'm not worried about that
>>
>>58237100
being Daredevil
>>
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>>58237390
you ever wear them la?
>>
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>>58237275
I normally make a pig's ear of my anti-Muslim posts.
>>
>>58237434
Irish people aren't considered foreigners by UK law. Irish people can join the armed forces, and vote here in elections and stuff
>>
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>London will have a Muslim mayor
>>
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>>58237489
n-no do you?
>>
just bbc have some thing about war of the roses and its got niggers in it

literally fuming fucking sick of this cultural appropriation
>>
>>58237529
>BARACK HUSSEIN OBAMA
>>
>>58237482
You can find a less demanding role.

Do you specifically want to serve our Queen in the army or will you accept navy and air force jobs too?
>>
>>58237466
There has to be more to it thank that before I'm accepted to basic training though. I want to join an artillery regiment
>>
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>>58237529
>a nigger in the whitehouse
>a nigger on the banknotes

YOU LITERALLY CAN

NOT

MAKE

IT

UP
>>
>>58237551
You mean the Shakespeare adaptations?
>>
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>>58236173
>OMG are u a Paraguayan? Post coconut
sure, here
>>
>>58237585
yes
>>
>>58237482
>>58237581

You do need a pretty good level of fitness Tbh

And a clean medical record/bill of health


Why not consider the Irish Guards?

Pic related
>>
Which is the biggest shithole you have been to in the UK?

Middlesbrough for me. Horrid people there too.
>>
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>what about those bloody darkies ay lads
>>
>>58237665
Darlington - Proper grotty

I'm not counting Toxteth since scousers gonna scouse
>>
>>58237562
>>58237581
I'd go for the navy, not the air force
>>
>>58237659
Does it really bother you? I mean, really?
>>
>>58237665
Blackburn
>>
>https://twitter.com/DaftLimmy/status/723116562312499200?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw

>le edgy XDDDD
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