Bollocks edition
crayon pop
our nige
>>58071004
>this one is not attractive
Compared to the other girl? Literally blind lmao
really wish a big war would happen so i can finally die
>>58070441
Did that a while ago at a party. Was a bit weird.
Was looking to head off from the party with her and then this semi-kinda-normie calls her name at the door when we were putting our shoes on (host said they just had the carpet clean so shoes off - yeah idk). She gives him the stare and goes over to him, has a few words, the lad starts to look upset, she gives him a hug and we fuck off.
Apparently, she agreed to date him if only she could fuck other guys when she wants.
how pathetic
>Leave will lose
good edition
bad first post
repostan from the old thread:
Can any Scots here tell me if Maggie from Extras has a different accent to Mhairi Black. Because the former's accent is kind of qt, the latter not so much.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LLWWFU7r2K0 [Embed]
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lZAmhB55_-k [Embed]
janny's nuts status: approaching the vice
hmm
ah yes
reducing journey times from the North to London will help the Northern economy
Too many religious people are too stupid to interpret their texts in a non-violent way and just adhere to the bits that allows them to act on their base instincts
Had soup earlier, just farted and the fart smells like the soup haha
Wish the fart lingered a bit longer haha x
>>58071145
more commuter towns
good, good
feel like my calling in life is to expand my porn folder
it's the only thing I ever put real effort into
Wank me off lads
>>58071088
lmaoo but her personality??
hahaha at least be honest with yourself. i'm not quite sure why you have to hype every one of your matches up like she's about to walk down the runway. she's definitely nothing to smugly gloat over.
fuck my arse
>>58071087
Which one would you creampie first?
>>58071145
Why not just move the business up north?
>>58071203
Whoever posted that comparison wasn't even me mate, but at least they have some common sense
might get into an argument over the subjective attractiveness of girls today hahahahaha!!!
just kidding i wont because im not a dk (dumb kunt)
>>58071212
because poorthern infrastructure is terrible
Found this while searching for my rorke images, thought it was funny.
>>58071183
*cuts your willy off*
>>58071132
Mhairi has a paisley accent. Maggie is from the border so is more english.
>>58071240
nah bro u gotta consider personality
Need to book my hotel in monte carlo
Looking straight up fedorable today lads
>>58071103
they're literally both unattractive
jesus why are either of you getting defencive it's not like either of you are getting in with them. i match with hot birds on tinder all the time but that's where it ends -- i'm not about to get into some random argument with someone else who is in the exact same situation as me on 4chan
im just so much better than both of you. and everything in this thread lmao.
>>58071251
Give your head a wobble you sad fuck
>you will never live in England in 1983
Going fishing lads.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=a24kBD-0jQo
>Found this while searching for my rorke images, thought it was funny.
>>58071251
>he has a rorke folder
rasheed
Goodbye Mondays Oh Oh Goodbye Mondays
Goodbye Mondays
>>58071251
*tsk tsk*
look at all those racists
HOLY SHIT TURN ON BBC
>>58071295
>im just so much better than both of you. and everything in this thread lmao.
are you better than 10,000,000 finely layered sheets of steel?
*unsheathes katana*
Anyone remember 2DTV? I can't remember if it was good or not, I watched it when I was young so it was probably shit since I've erased it all from memory.
Didn't realise I was giving others on the train a greasy, really felt dead eyed
>>58071312
I don't have a rorke folder I just wanted some patriotic images
>>58071306
literally no idea what you mean by this
>>58071352
*throws my sony z3 at your blade shattering it*
when your phone has this many hunnies in it ... it blocks even the finest steel from Nippon
>>58071359
>TV
lmao wtf is that
We're all on our lunch at work right?
You're not sat at home in the middle of the day on 4chan are you?
>>58071352
good post
>>58071295
>they're literally both unattractive
Your standards are way too high, or you're just a plain bender
Just applied to a Vodafone call centre position and they sent me an email telling me I need to make a 15 minute video explaining what I bring to the table and they will review it.
Anyone ever done this stupid shite? They said it's a "new and exciting interview method"
>>58071349
which channel
>>58071295
That was just like the last girl I matched with you fucking pleb
I could easily get "in" with her if I wanted to kek, I've had hundreds of girls message me first on tinder, often some kinky shit as well
>im just so much better than both of you
Definitely not
considering buying a helium tank lads
for suicide? in a way
you see, when balloons are filled with enough helium, they float, and float... and float - all the way up into the atmosphere, where they subsequently explode
are you following my logic? well for those at the back let me explain
the helium tank will be connected to the needle of a bike pump which will be inserted into my...?
that's right, my yam bag will be inflated to the size of a small weather balloon and send up into the o-zone, where my sack will promptly explode, sending my cherries plummeting back down to earth - SPLAT.
any you may be asking, but anon, won't you die? you clearly underestimate me. Years of punishment has left my yam sack stretchier than a stretch armstrong, and long enough to cover the M1 between junctions 19-28 (trust me, I've checked)
I will have the pleasure of observing my family jewels' progress from the ground, front row seats
I'm here!
>>58071404
I've got half an hour of break left
>>58071432
glad you could make it x
>>58071427
haha holy fuck why are you taking it so personally? literally who cares mate no one here is impressed why do you feel it necessary to prove yourself better than everyone else? god you even took my joke at face value you genuine paki cunt fuck off
>>58071423
>doing all that shite for a 15k job
Wtf
Artist's rendition of me and the wife's son at McDonalds
>all you hear about acid is how great it is and abstract thinking it gives you
just made me realize how everything is fucking terrible and it's never going to get any better t-b-h f-a-m
just did a cry
realised that one day Are Liz shall pass
*presses 2*
>I've had hundreds of girls message me first on tinder, often some kinky shit as well
>racism is bad
>>58071473
"Lol I was just joking guiz, fucking autiztz lol xDD"
Literal spastic top kek
>>58071427
holy fucking insecure hahahahaha
that post couldn't have been more facetious if it tried
>>58071504
clearly i was joking you thick cunt i literally said "im just so much better than both of you. and everything in this thread lmao."
if you can't decipher that blatant poke at yourself then yes you are indeed autistic
>>58071428
wrote a post but realised its doxxable
have this instead
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UxpVwBzFAkw
>>58071484
Same heh
Made me feel hopelessly insignificant
>>58071491
The playjam games were more expensive
My mum literally had to disable the phoneline from the sky box cos I kept playing the cricket game for like £4 a go
>>58071427
this but also my dad works at nintendo and im a billionaire
im not lying
Did you buy that shit game Amir?
God can you please just give me a heart attack?
I've had enough of this world, put me to sleep cunt.
>>58071573
i got u senpai
Normies? Not a fan
>>58071352
*removes cloak revealing armour made of 1990s vintage nokia phones*
*say 'I'm sorry, but you seem to be sending all the wrong signals'*
>>58071492
Good application of this meme
test
anyone cook ramen with an egg?
>>58071588
thanks mane
>>58071391
*gasps*
m-m-my bladeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee
MUMMMMMMMY HE BROKE IT REEEEEE
>>58071598
i can't play anymore, this fucking bozo boogerbreath broke it :(((((((((((((((
>>58071622
ty senpai
Business idea: a really big country that hates Islam
>>58071427
POST A PICTURE OF YOUR FACE OR YOUR POST MEANS NOTHING
paddling my bollocks like a pair of ping pong balls atm
>>58071645
USA
S
A
>>58071573
*exhales*
*looks down*
kill me
my virginity is worth protecting
>>58071427
*recites this all but in a gimpy nerd voice*
MANS NEVER BEEN IN
>>58071598
*smugly grins*
heh, good thing I'm calling home
*rings all your phones at the speed of light deafening you because of the noise*
>>58071641
>mane
FOY
*does an action post*
Business idea: Come up with a new pizza topping
>>58071640
Nah, I use a saucepan
>>58071649
I have done before :^)
Tall guy in a red shirt if anybody remembers
*reacts to your action*
reminder that the Maisie at the fairground bollock post was objectively the best and will never be topped
>>58071689
Please refrain from using leaf gimmicks. It only encourages them
Japan getting rekt lads
>>58071640
yea
>>58071718
>Yorkshire
>>58071735
whats happening?
another earthquake?
>>58071720
all me lol
>it's a 'blistering narcissist defends his anonymous identity online' episode
How did Mister Krabs end up having a daughter who was a whale?
saw actionposting on the lad bible the other day.
smdh tbqh lads
>>58071734
FOY
>>58071711
oh, this one?
could do with a futa "g"f
>>58071720
why did you respond to me i didnt respond to you?
kill me
>>58071751
his wife's daughter
need a deep dicking lads
>>58071751
adoption
>>58071734
FOY
for some reason I get really motivated after having a wank
for most people it's the other way round I think
>>58071740
how do you do it?
bit weird how I can't see this massive mountain right now
not a single light on the thing
>>58071751
I think there was an episode that explained this
>>58071743
>South Yorkshire
>>58071796
What would happen if you pushed down really hard?
who /boredouttheirnut/ here?
>>58071790
LOOOOOOOOOOL
>>58071793
me too t.th
I want to huff her sweaty balls
>>58071674
*you fail to realise that I've eaten all the sim cards to make me untraceable*
'heh...wrong number pilgrim, the only number I need is .50'
*draws desert eagle and blows your head off*
>>58071817
Stop lookin at my dick
>>58071829
*explodes*
it's 10:46pm honestly who am i kidding but saying that i'm going to start studying now
*does a huge shit in the middle of the room interrupting the battle*
ahhhhhhhh... thats it, thats the stuff
>>58071829
it would be very painful
>>58071843
.50 isn't a number you moron
Thoughts on America?
>>58071831
Back to my desk in 13 minutes
>bad dandruff
>shower
>even worse dandruff
>>58071871
*giggles*
you're a good boy, aren't you?
*comes over and feeds you grass while patting your head*
mmmm you like that? yeah? :)
>>58071885
Not a fan
>>58071790
>>58071832
Both of these posts were published by the same author.
>>58071915
all me
>>58071906
*shits everywhere in ecstasy* pbbblllllllllllllllllllllrrrrrrggggggggggggggggwwwwwwwuuuuggggggllllllllllllllllllllrrrrrrrrrbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbb lol
lads i am literally bringing in a double a4 page of notes into my exam tomorrow
mental. here's a sneak peak but if you want the rest you'll have to pay x
>>58071874
>.50 isn't a number you moron
12.7 then you fucking autist
>>58071812
if it's in a saucepan, stir the water with a spoon or chopsticks, and then place the egg in it
then prepare the ramen like normal
if it's soup ramen that you do in a bowl, put the boiling water in the bowl, start stirring it and then put in the egg
then prepare the ramen like normal
FNNNNNNNNGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG FFFNGGGGGGGNGNGNGFGFFFFF
Business idea:
>>58071897
I use T-gel and then pantene and thats as good as it gets for me
thinking of hiring a body double to pose as me in work
>>58071942
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAJ
*screams "POO POO POO" to the tune of sabrina's 'boys'*
Alright we're doin it again
http://www.wordsthatfollow.com/play/game.php?gid=54
>>58071915
That was just like the last post I made you fucking pleb
I could easily get "replies" if I wanted to kek, I've had hundreds of users reply to me first on 4chan, often some (You) shit as well
>im just so much better than both of you
Definitely not
>>58071913
are you going up the hill while youre there
>>58071897
Most of it is probably your shampoo. If it's the shitty kinda it collects on your scalp and turns to flakes.
>>58071998
nah, don't have proper clothes and stuff to do it
going to go to aokigahara from tokyo though
>>58071843
*blocks your shot with my fedora*
'heh... heh... you tried kid, but this is your demise, the only number you'll be is zero DIVIDED by zero YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH'
*starts cutting you into a million pieces from my personal deadly ninja skills that I was kicked out of my dojo for practising because they were too powerful*
>>58071946
Saving this for later use
>>58071933
>>58071996
>>58072041
if you actually need it i can just send you the pdf desu
>>58071796
sonic let himself go
*nibbles on your neck*
hehe
hehe
*pisses up your leg*
>>58072058
*flips you over my shoulder and stomps on your neck*
>>58072033
maybe youll see that guy from the vid and he'll get concerned
>>58072047
missed out on a pun
could of said "Why I'm becoming a Jew and why Jew should, too"
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dQsjAbZDx-4
just stfu and listen
>>58072058
Back in Korea we'd stack gooks like you 5 feet high and use you as fucking sandbags!
*whips dick out*
nibble on this
>>58072051
No I'll work the rest out myself
Poleaboos uncle has come around for a visit on his way back from the job centre
Been on JSA for almost 20 years
His work coach apparently shouted at him for printing his recommended jobs (which he was told to do)
Now he has to come into the job centre every day instead of every 2 weeks
>>58072097
maybe you'll never see me again
>>58072102
this was a great movie 2bh
me on the right
>58072113
Should be fucking deported
>>58072112
good post
>>58072123
:SSSSSSS
>>58071963
put the egg in before? Why?
>>58072138
a great, AMERICAN movie
>>58072113
what a fucking parasite
>>58071946
>being allowed notes in an exam.
Why even have the exam?
>>58072113
after 20 years only just put on day signing
what a role model
>>58072141
love it when a girl kisses my bellybutton
Very lonely and depressed
fucking hell ronnie corbett's died
>>58072113
It's every week they ask you to come round
>>58071963
i've seen videos of them cracking it over the top whilst it's cooking though?
RUNT HUNT
RUNT HUNT
RUNT HUNT
>Blonde Asians
How do they gain this confidence?
>>58072200
Like 2 weeks ago
>>58072174
makes sure the white is solid and the yolk is runny
What gets me more bennies? Leaving the eu or staying?
>>58071718
nah it was alright but there have been others that blew it out the water
>>58072138
it was actually average
>>58072229
>>58072234
Nobody actually fucking knows.
Both sides are making shit up.
>>58071649
>>58071996
Go on then, post a pic m8
>nothing to drink in da house
>dont want to buy booze at 2 in the afternoon on a monday
jut took a few swigs of the Cactus Jack that my auntie inexplicably bought for christmas
surprising bearable if you focus on the alcohol, and ignore the flavour
>>58072234
Staying I would think, unless the government decides to give the money they get from not allowing immigrants to claim to you.
me on the speed
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oZGM3U_Anu0
>>58071076
/cum/ is dead, so you lot are the closest thing I have
Here's a transcript of a conversation I had online.
I totally screwed this up, right?
[begin conversation]
Hello!
Hi
How are you?
Im okayy
How about you??
I'm doing well!
Your profile says that you're from Seoul?
Ahahah..thats a joke. thats how i love korea even in my profile i indicated itlol
haha lol
Though - if that's you in your profile picture, you honestly do look Korean.
Yea' thats ME ..THANK YOU [NAME OMITTED]...hahha..no joke?lol
No joke!
haha You use a lot of smiley faces when you chat
Yea' hahahaha .you noticed . Is there something wrong in using so many smiley? We used to do that here in ph with my friends.
Oh, no! I like the smileys.
I've just not seen someone use so many before!
Haha..okayy. its great that im the first one youve seen using many smileys
So hows you doing?
I'm doing well!
How are you?
Is it morning there or evening?
It's morning. My physics class is actually about to start!
What about you? It's 8 at night there, right?
Im okayy. pretty good
Hahahahaha
That's great!
Yeah.. exactly
So - what about your Monday? You're working Information Tech, right?
So are we going to end our convo now? Since youre in class. Is it okayy that we're chatting? You know..
It's entirely up to you! My class doesn't start for a few minutes, so I've got a bit of time.
No im not IT Student..Education student
Oh, yeah! That's right! You just graduated, though, right?
Yep.. ouch' bet you forget me
I'm sorry; I just have a bad memory when I meet new people! I promise it's not intentional!
Hahahaha..kiddin' lol..yea ok
Ooh! That's a relief.
Anyways, I need to get to class, so I'll talk to you later! It was nice talking to you!
Ok..takecare bye for now
[about five minutes in between]
Nevermind! Class got cancelled
Have a great day! goodluck
Thanks! You too! Have a nice night! Don't forget to say your prayers!
[message hasn't yet been read]
Please advise
Literally all the tories need to do is say they will raise taxes if we leave the EU and no one will vote leave.
>>58072146
He was born here and is a nice guy
>>58072176
Not his fault, no jobs in this shithole town
>>58072180
His work coach shouted at him very loudly too
>>58072267
>>dont want to buy booze at 2 in the afternoon on a monday
Have anything better to do?
>>58072231
Is this inside or outside the shell? Cos cracking an egg then boiling that with noodles doesn't sound great
>wanking over some boobs
>not doing anything for me
>turn on a video of a two men sodomising
>cum in 10 secs
Well.
>Literally all the tories need to do is say they will raise taxes if we leave the EU and no one will vote leave.
>>58072281
both sound like a pair of spackers
>>58072304
Bit gay
>>58072281
FOY
doing a poo
>>58072267
>dont want to buy booze at 2 in the afternoon on a monday
>not waiting outside the offie to open in the morning
pussy
>>58072304
link
>>58072295
I've cried twice in the job centre. My replacement work coach also cried once.
>>58072326
Define "spackers"
>>58072334
Define "FOY"
>>58072281
which one of you faked being from Korea
>>58072304
HATE
SELF
HATE
SELF
HATE SELF
HATE ]
SELF
>>58072281
didnt read any of this
>>58072361
>I've cried twice in the job centre.
ahhahahaha
>>58072288
>memeing
Yep, there's no wonder why you're after munters lmao
>>58072350
closed the gay boy tab already but the boobs were ephemereal
>>58072304
Had to stop watching porn because of this
Now I squat naked in the dark until I get exhausted and then wank
>>58072373
She did
>>58072300
outside
it's surprisingly good if you cook it long enough
if you don't cook it for long enough the white doesn't fully cook and is slimy
with a ground breaking play i just won the 'wordsthatfollow' game, lads
*raises schooner*
heres to you lads. this ones on you -- cheers for the win
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7fNMgncH5-w
So I started dating this new slag and she tells me "I don't like your attitude."
And I was confused, so I asked her what did she mean about my attitude?
But I couldn't hear her answer through the stab wounds ;(
What a fucking cunt.
>>58072378
Positively dire face
>>58072388
you are quite honestly the most insecure person i think i've ever come across lmao
get a grip
>>58072334
t. Yank-lite
>>58072428
for you
>>58072361
>My replacement work coach also cried once.
Why?
This is the type of woman who would bear a true anglo man strong sons
*starts singing Bohemian Rhapsody*
>>58072472
what is wrong with you
>>58072369
Spacker - Retard
FOY - Fuck off Yank
just a small look at the lingo used in the UK :)
>>58072446
It's still fun to say FOY.
>>58072472
I want to watch you creampie Honkers tbqh.
>>58072472
*farts*
*has bad breath*
*does JAV*
Have any of you cumstains found a way out of apathy?
>>58072481
prolonged isolation
>>58072483
good post
don't understand people who listen to music 2bh
I've had stubble for so long I look terrible without it now. Never shaving again ffs
http://www.standard.co.uk/news/world/more-than-400-feared-dead-after-migrant-boat-capsizes-in-the-mediterranean-a3227756.html
:3
>>58072513
yeah m8 (got a method)
>>58072483
t-thanks
>>58072541
throw it my way homie
>>58072445
Just post your pic now, then I will, just genuinely curious now
Lads the new work coach now wants me to enter times I spent doing shit into the UJM website.
My last one never cared if I did
Who can honestly fill 8 hours a day job hunting?
I can fill 4 hours at most
>>58072535
>>58072555
just be yourself
>>58072535
And the throngs of white leftist female betrayers cried HIV-laden tears from their vaginas
>>58072467
I don't know desu. I didn't know that I had to write down the volunteering I did and didn't know stupid shit like phone calls counted towards job search so I think she was sad that she had to write down I hadn't done enough or something. She also fucked up my hours so I only needed to do half the amount of job searching. Also, I think she thought I was mildly autistic.
People like me used to join the army and commit all kinds of atrocities but now there's no big wars and the army is shite and i have no place to be
thanks capitalism
>>58072464
sauce?
>A sri lankan girl occasionally blows me
