/brit/
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Get your paws off me you dirty apes! Edition
UK is gay
cara
IU
Want to sleep but can't stop looking at my phone desperate for some escape from the reality of the next day
lads
>>57499016
FOC
>>57499030
FOY
>>57499036
FOD
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=QJ-sCjNbLMA
Reminder you will never make women react like this
the two polls which include april
foj
Clunge.
watching some kino
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jIp1I5Atr3Q
>>57499036
Excellent post Caralad
>>57499049
FOP
>>57499067
FOI
*speaks suddenly and without provocation*
So................. "lads". What hijinks should we, the good people of extra flags, look forward to participating in over the next few days? My correspondent J is eager to hear from you.
>>57499099
FOK
So here we all are
hey lads
maisie
kappa
>>57499072
s-someday.
someday...
the latest westminster poll (conservatives on suicide watch)
>>57499165
Imagine just yanking that chair out from under her
>>57499108
Did you lads know that the UK was ruled by male monarchs for most of its history?
>>57499141
okay thats just rude
>>57499174
Blimey, how are UKIP doing so well, they barely got over 12% in general election polls and they've been really out of the media spotlight recently
>>57499205
yet it was "ruled" by a woman monarch during the most successful part
>>57499205
so THATS why everythings gone to shit recently
redpill me on female voting habits
>Great Shittain
>>57499205
>>57499205
all in all most of its female monarchs have been pretty decent
only Mary gets a bad rap
can't stop farting
>>57499242
they seem to be turning into the third party of england since corbyn is an alternative to the greens and the lib dems nobody trusts
>>57499205
Not being some sort of plebeian melt who has never taken home half a dozen well-sourced books on British history from the library and pored almost obsessively over their every minor detail before, rest assured I am well aware of this
>>57499251
Vast majority are left wing in favour of a bigger and bigger state (and less dependency on men).
The exception is married women, they tend to be more right.
>double standards are never justified
>>57499288
>>57499275
>>57499272
>>57499248
>>57499243
all i wanted was a
WE
>>57499165
Imagine just giving her a nice cuddle
>>57499251
Majority vote left wing.
Social issues take precedence over economic issues.
Vote with emotion more often than men.
Very sympathetic to minorities and immigrants compared to men.
>>57499329
History is a sacred field and no place for memes
>Not being some sort of plebeian melt who has never taken home half a dozen well-sourced books on British history from the library and pored almost obsessively over their every minor detail before, rest assured I am well aware of this
>>57499251
my mummy votes ukip
>>57499330
imagine giving you a swift boot
http://i.4cdn.org/gif/1459904819926.webm
might as well give up looking at porn desu, this is as good as it's gonna get.
ummmmmm leftists??????
>>57499361
I could expose your third eye directly to the sun and it wouldnt react
>>57499363
She strikes me as an ugly thicko who smokes 2bh
>>57499330
dormouse
>>57499251
>>57499301
>>57499333
>>57499363
>>57499391
forgot her name
>>57499242
Muslims keep blowing things up
>>57499425
she might be a bit dum but the others aren't true
>smoking? pah! in this day and age? my body is a temple and i intend to keep it that way!
white people are literally ironically the real "we wuz kingz"
we used to run shit, invent fucking everything and used to be a proud noble people
>>57499067
Honda
Oh here he goes again...........
>>57499333
Maybe if more women paid taxes they'd care more about the government pissing it away on layabouts.
had a cheeky shave
Reply to me or I'll cry
Your friend,
Josephine
>>57499251
Women follow men. Men more and more are following women. Gets us all stuck in lefty spirals.
>>57499470
we wuz kingz is for the shit like the pyramids being black peoples spaceships
>>57499494
>>57499494
hey x
- sx
>>57499333
Shit like this is probably why the left in so many countries has gone even more loops in recent years.
As far as I remember ages ago they used to be about economics and a fair deal for working people.
Now it's all about muh feelings and inclusion.
>>57499470
I don't think you fully understand the "we wuz kingz" thing lad
>>57499412
The year is 2031.
You've just finished your 3 day work week and it's time to take a break with a nice relaxing four day weekend.
As you walk into your home, you are greeted by your wife, who is busy baking fresh bread and drinking a glass of organic local milk and three children who are working on their homework assigned by their private school. The aftermath of the 2015 election and the elimination of the welfare state had brought forth a new enlightenment and a cultural renaissance which had sparked a better society. Statist dissidents had tried to fight against it, but were met only with failure and were forced to acquire jobs in the booming economy.
As you sit down on your sofa to watch the news, your servo-bot approaches you. It stands there awaiting orders and nods it's head as if it already knows what you are thinking. Immediately, the servo-bot bolts off to the kitchen to bring you a cold beer that was made in Britain.
As it comes back and places the beer next to you, the news starts to talk about the ongoing colonisation of Mars by private enterprises. You start to drink your beer and say to yourself, "I'm so glad I voted for UKIP".
thoughts?
>>57499494
make me
>>57499428
Incorrect
>>57499494
Alri Josie Jump haha
-not dormers the other one
>>57499547
We found it while we were scavenging for canned goods in the ruins.
"Daddy, what is this?" My son held in his hands a crumpled election poster. "Where did you find this?" I asked. "It was in the ash… what does it mean?"
"In the old days, people used to choose a Prime Minister, a…" I struggled to describe to him the old ways, knowing that it would be completely alien to him. "Someone to lead the country." I said, resignedly.
Who was N-Nigel F-", he started. "Nigel Farage", I interjected. "He was a man who wanted to save us. But we wouldn't let him."
"Daddy… why are you crying?" he asked me. He was so innocent, despite it all. "No reason". I choked back the tears and crumpled up the flyer. I left it on the ground. Better to forget, I told myself.
"Daddy, I'm hungry"
"I know."
>>57499526
>>57499526
Howa yhoo xx
>>57499522
Intriguing post
Lads, I have got a fucking brilliant business idea. Came up with it all by myself.
>Pretend to be a drug dealer
>Arrange a drug deal with some teenage/student runt in a quiet area
>Get a well-trusted mate who isn't a pussy
>Drive to the location and phone the runt, tell him to get in your car
>Use binoculars to see if he has an expensive smartphone
>Have your mate stand around in the area just smoking a fag inconspiciously
>Announce that you are non-uniform police officers and that he will be detained while being processed
>Signal your mate to come, handcuff the runt, search him and take his phone and wallet then drive away
Good idea, eh lads? Rate and clicc dat subscribe button
>>57499547
>implying they'll get a second seat
>>57499391
felt slightly uncomfortable listening to her speak
>>57499494
>>57499494
>>57499494
hope youre okay now sweety :( xx
Tamar
>>57499251
>>57499581
probably be better off just saying oi mate give me your phone or i will punch you
>>57499575
clicked the first pic i saw, didnt want you crying haha
>>57499552
>No Calvinist
LMAOing at them all, pathetic pawns
>>57499575
>>57499561
really?
hmmm this is worrying
i usually assume its not you when theres no full stops, so this has shaken my self confidence in correct identification (wasnt paying attention last thread so didnt count)
>>57499574
Because he's the hero that UK deserves.
But not the one it needs right now.
And so we'll hate him.
Because he can take it.
Because he's not a hero.
He's a silent guardian, a watchful protector.
A Dark Knight.
>>57499635
Fifth column.
was ulster poster scottish?
>>57499554
*Wields guisarme threateningly*
>>57499561
Very confusing
Most confusing even
Your pal,
Joss
>>57499638
I admire your heroic resolve
>>57499656
Me on the left
>>57499660
Imitating 'nother post though wasn't I? Accuracy in imitation trumps my greater degree of literacy.
>>57499333
I'm not sure about the last one. Maybe it's different in the UK but I hear women whine about immigrants just as much as men here desu
>>57499649
Reformed IS Calvinist
@57499494
refuses to reply
t. lanc
>>57499656
explain this
------------------------------------------------------------------------
all posts above this line have no argument
>>57499685
no he was from Ulster
>>57499718
yea more or less
my gf complains about the smell and how Chinese people spit everywhere
she also got a bit flustered when I told her I dated a paki before.
>his newspaper of choice didnt endorse a lib-dem/conservative coalition in the 2015 general election
how pleb
feels good to be below that line
>>57499738
Actually meant to wield my guisarme threateningly at you
*rattles fauchard*
ben and jerrys cookie dough ice cream straight out the tub lads
>>57499717
oh dear if you start imitating him aswell thatll literally do my head in
dont do that or ill hit you
Haddock or Cod, for fish and chips?
did the Swedish scat poster go away already?
>>57499769
It depends too, obviously liberal women will be less tough on immigration but the same can be said for liberal men (generally)
PLEASE DON'T CRYYYYYYYYYYYY
IN THE MORNING LIIIIIIGHT
PLEASE DON'T CRYYYYYYYYYYYY
IN THE MORNING LIIIIIIGHT
PLEASE DON'T CRYYYYYYYYYYYY
IN THE MORNING LIIIIIIGHT
PLEASE DON'T CRYYYYYYYYYYYY
IN THE MORNIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII
>>57499781
*puts down FT, looks at you, and nods approvingly*
>>57499781
basically endorsing the Conservatives
You can't vote for a coalition
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KxwRDiUfiRU
thoughts?
>>57499818
wish you would go away
bf just sent me this
Remember Cleggmania lads?
Decent times.
>>57499812
i'll 'ave the 'addock
Anyone who lives near me confirm that it's raining?
>>57499804
Not imitating him you dunce, t'other reply to yon pic.
>>57499846
why?
bf just sent me this
>>57499857
It is indeed.
morning lads
going to get a haircut t'morr'w
2 on t'sides and back with a little in t'front to style
>>57499902
Hello, chum x
Just realised I was lying on the very edge of my mattress
Such a gripping event; you should have heard my yelp! All the best
>>57499849
haha nick clegg is my local mp when at uni
Remember when people thought UKIP were a serious party
*sigh*
should probably call it a night, lads
*yawn*
...night
>>57499885
cause clearly I don't like you, you stupid paki twat
fuck off
>>57499849
Feel sorry for Clegg 2bh. I'd never vote Lib Dem but he was clearly an intelligent guy with his heart in the right place. Too bad the partisan lefties who supported his party threw him under the bus when he made the bold decision to compromise and enter the coalition
>>57499930
Doxxed
>>57499902
its 1am
are u high
>>57499950
nighty night x
>>57499863
ahh i see it clearly now
i usually ignore noflag posts so didnt have the slightest what you were going on about
however im now in distemper regardless so
>dunce
will not be borne get out of my sight
Just snorted a FAT line of 3-FPM
>>57499950
State your name cuz
Your bud,
Jo
>>57499845
felt secondhand nervousness
>>57499957
>position yourself on the left to get votes
>be surprised when your voters are none too pleased about you then forming a centre-right coalition
>>57499845
disgust
>>57499955
well sorry the world doesn't cater to you :^)
go fuck yourself, dearly.
>>57499848
if you rule by chaos you reap what you sow
>>57499983
>FPM
FOY
>>57499845
not lewd enough
>>57499903
Good haircut
>>57499926
Can't discern if this post is describing sin or not.
-your pal, ky
What do the average British girl smell like? What perfume/deodarant do they use?
>>57499957
It was obviously the right thing to do but he did cock up on a few major things
The lib dem line for 30+ years was trying to get STV but instead he settled for an AV referendum
and the tuition fees, which although its been massively overblown when a lot of your voters are lefty students it wasnt the best idea to let happen (especially as he personally voted for it)
He is also rabidly pro EU at a time when it isnt that fashionable
>>57500052
lynx africa
>>57500052
rasheed's sperm
>>57500052
old spice
>>57499983
just buy normal speed instead of this rc garbage mate
>>57500029
I highly doubt anyone actually wants you here
Go fuck off back to /mena/ you useless knob
eurovision is gonna be really pro refugee/immigration this year isnt it lads
odds that a syrian refugee will be germany/swedens entry?
>>57500115
no
this is my home now
>>57500083
shut up
*stretches legs in bed so far I dislocate both knees*
It's not enough
*jams felt tips into each hand*
*plugs eye and ear sockets with moist bogroll*
*electrifies my loins*
Much better
>>57500139
I know you are, you said you are, but what am I?
>>57500020
What would've been preferable to his supporters, a conservative government or a conservative + lib dem government? He said it best: the conservatives won the most votes, so he was only respecting democracy by going into government with them rather than labour
>>57500067
He did the honourable thing with tuition fees. He could have abstained (cameron urged him to) but he knew keeping the present fee levels was unaffordable and voted with the national interest
>>57499988
very nice
whats eating out a birds arse like lads?
killing myself this morning
goodbye lads
>>57499992
just one last check of the 'chon after brushing me teeth
t. a Yorkshire lad
>>57500188
The thinking man's troll webm
vardy
>>57500188
FUCK OFF
>>57500048
Mind out of gutter youngling
After last night's babylonian levels of self-induced smut, I am spending the rest of the week virtuous as a spring morning in autumn beheld entirely in the reflection of the sad eye of the long arm of the lancastrian
>>57500223
post boi pucci first?
C H A T
H
I
>>57500231
there he is
>>57500164
dum looser
>>57500188
never understood the drums of khazad dum part
>>57500170
Really the only thing he could have done was force a second election
Of course the best thing for the national interests was obviously a stable coalition government but that's irrelevant to the fact that people didn't vote Lib Dem so they could get a Tory led coalition
>>57500173
Why aren't you sleeping?
>>57500258
Believe it's just the moria orcs organising their attack
>>57500256
why do they always have one finger up
>>57499168
did a wank, now i feel guilty
>>57500188
jesus fucking christ
I just got fucking trolled
went and checked the front door twice
>>57500309
》they
we hear drums, drums in the deep
>>57500309
you should know
Just did a bit of sick in my mouth
>>57500231
Godnyte
Talk tye again
>>57500328
>>57500329
nah it's probably whales or some shit
>>57499983
what's this 3-FPM malarky like
any good?
Lads: you can change the BBC's biased stance on one thing and one thing only to a stance of your choosing
What would it be?
>>57500309
symbolizes tahwid
also it seems to be a very authoritative, pontificating pose when their clerics do it
>>57500261
>Of course the best thing for the national interests was obviously a stable coalition government but that's irrelevant to the fact that people didn't vote Lib Dem so they could get a Tory led coalition
Nah, his voters were too immature to understand it, but going into government with the Conservatives was the best chance his party had to enact his manifesto pledges. And he did get to carry out plenty of them. What the fuck were they expecting, a Lib Dem majority?
>>57500386
immigration obviously
the next Thomas the Tank Engine movie has /int/ernational train m8s, lads
he looks like a shitposter
>mfw it hit me that there are literally no non-blonde 10s on earth
>>57500377
they have a cave whale
>>57500386
Big willies!!!!! Big Williams! !!!!!! Huge, fat, engorged scrotum pipings!!!!!!!!!
>>57500426
There is tho
Business idea: Advertise anonymous masked blowjobs on craigslist, £20 a pop
>>57500426
>blonde babby
pleb tier tbqhwyl
>>57500386
pro-Assad, anti-rebels 2bh
>>57500415
How the fuck do they do it lads? Is it just one guy? If so, is it based fakemoot?
>>57500412
I think they wanted a Lib Dem-Labour coalition
>decimating your voting base in order to get a half arsed AV ref and some minor manifesto pledges
ahh yes very impressive
>>57500386
Condoning British terrorism organised and carried out by the British army and its affiliates
anyone else /squattingonthetoilet/ here?
>>57500281
the better question is why arent you sleeping mmm
>>57500415
>be british
>be not a top bloke
Women are really, really stupid lads. Some bird on omegle just told me that soldiers shouldn't care about the other "soldier mates" in their unit because they should be too focused on their country and that they should let their friends die without a second thought or they're not fit to fight.
>>57500489
>unnatural squatting
so sitting
>>57500471
easter pepe is my favourite incarnation of post-boys club pepe
>>57500426
Rasheed.
>>57500489
google "squatting on the toilet accident"
>>57500413
wish granted, the BBC is now rabidly pro immigration. Open borders and refugees welcome will now be mentioned in all broadcasts including the news, in our time, the shipping forecast and Football coverage
>>57500515
I poo in the way nature intended it lad. I would recommend it.
>>57500528
coalburner
>>57500407
>I have a masters in machine operation with a minor in hole digging
>>57500386
Start exposing some of the blatant lies from the vile Tory party
>>57500471
I made some of them 2bh
t. australian
>>57500489
Imagine a shit just falling out, just like plopping out from your cheeks, and falling a good 2 feet further, just freefalling into the bogwater
Thats what I don't like about squatting - it affords poo more airtime than is humane or necessary
>>57500550
>major and minor
foy
when i was downstairs i overheard bbc news doing a large story on some women being part of savlle row and how it was amazing because she was a women
fascinating
>>57500476
Sure but more people voted for the Tories. He respected the democratic process. And the Tories were going to be part of the government no matter what
>>57500426
You're just baiting to get pics of 10/10 brunette birds but here lad
>>57500530
Willing to take that risk for easier shits.
quite enjoying this tbb
seen it before but was a while ago
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-kYQJRFr3KQ&nohtml5=False
>>57500501
>expecting women to understand loyalty, honour, or selflessness
>>57500599
>>57500530
>>57500489
if you put a stool in front of the toilet to put your feet on it mimics the exact same position and is also far more comfortable than squatting like a paki on the bowl
>>57500621
My mum is all of these things
>>57500501
no one "dies for their country" anyone who does something heroic does it for their mates
>>57500489
I don't squat, but I approximate the hip angle by bending forward as far as possible while sitting. Very comfy shits.
>>57500572
>boiling hot day
>sat on toilet
>shit leaves bumhole
>lands in water and splashes your cheeks with refreshing water.
I'd smoke any one of you runts if I see you out and about
>omegle
third eye sealed shut
how are British football matches different from yank "soccer" matches?
>tfw no qt 3.14 ladyboy fuckstick
>>57500655
>tfw 6'4 and built like a brick shithouse
if everyone on /brit/ was put in a steel cage and forced to fight to the death I would easily be the last man standing, genuinely
i sit here sometimes looking at the smart arse posts you little students and neets make and just chuckle to myself because if you ever said anything like that to my face (as if you would dare) you could literally be eating pavement in under a second
think on
Just shifted in bed and got more comfortable
Am now ready to shake off this mortal coil and re-engage with the spiritual world until my unification with a brand new mundane host ere the dawn
Your colleague,
Josie Hussain (no relation)
Applying for a civil service job.
Don't know what's come over me.
>>57500673
>>57500655
Fuckin try me m8. Pic related is me. 6'1 210. I'd knock you on your arse.
>>57500671
we don't have DESIGNATED CHANTING INSTRUCTIONS
>>57500671
none of this, but a lot more organized chants and general cheerleading.
>>57500695
ky?
whats happened
but your project
>tfw you were born British and you've already won
>>57500695
took them 3 months to respond to my application
fucking bang on lads
>>57500671
british games have chanting and song and all of that because it's tradition and institution.
american games have it because thats what they think soccer games should have.
>>57500671
Yank games are for poofter family days out.
Football is for lads to have a laugh and shout abuse.
>>57500645
Mums are different
>>57500724
>surely this macro image will solve the problem
Stoned out my head lads.
>>57500720
>hi nice to meet you
>"OMG are you british?"
>yeah
Feels good man.
>>57500689
Fucking doxxed
night lad x
-see pic
>>57500671
>>57500711
>>57500713
>>57500736
>>57500740
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GG-jMjvnua8
>>57500795
>>hi nice to meet you
>>"OMG are you british?"
>>yeah
is this what it's like to go to london lads?
>>57500818
nah i can't lad
i legit cringe out of my skin at that guy on the mic
>>57500711
>***Clap***
@57500831
haha thanks for the (you) dickhead
>>57500831
woopsie hehe meant for this lad
>>57500809
>Theresa May grants Scotland Yard another £95k to help find Madeleine McCann
ah yes, very impressive
57500869
fucking idiot
