ooga booga where da toilets at edition
Poprzedni:
>>57388464
maisie
Houses in detroit are only $15,000
ummmmmmmmmmmmmmmm leftists?????????????????????
Business idea: become a plastic surgeon specializing in penis enhancement procedures, then pay escorts under the table to laugh at customers when they get theirs out.
>>57391089
favourite poster in /brit/ atm
I want to marry Jimin
Kyary
did they make the webm file limit smaller?
I done it bareback I take chances
>>57390999
delet this ty jebana brytyjska pierdolona kurwo
>>57391073
I'm a huge fan, I've seen everything she's done
Business idea: become a dentist and a crack cocaine dealer
>>57391056
>people cant say words because of the colour of their skin
reported to the police for hate speech
>>57391116
>"max_filesize":4194304,"max_webm_filesize":3145728
don't think so
>>57391119
did the big bear poz your neg boi hole?
I blame anime, comics, and video games for my unrealistic standards I have in looking for a significant other.
Guys want a girl who looks "hot" by society's eyes.
I want a WOMAN who has the will of Lara Croft! The courage of Samus Aran! The inner strength of Pyrrha from RWBY! The humorous nature of Zatanna! The independence of Wonder Woman! The kindness of Tifa! And most of aaaaalllll the motivation to motivate me, the motivator!
I need as Netflix and Steam would call it - A "strong female protagonist"
Yaaaaaaaayyyyyy unreal standards!!!!! :D
>>57391175
hmm can't post a webm that I'm sure I've posted before
perhaps it put on weight
Wouldn't mind someone cumming on my face 2bh
How did this happen?
>tfw gf refers to you as "my boyfriend" for the first time on the phone with her friends
So depressed today and i don't know why
Cheer me up with memes or funny youtube vids please? Xx
what do you reckon her hourly rate is lads?
>>57391209
reencode it with ffmpeg or something
Business idea: give Brits a complex about their ridiculous housing prices by posting homes for sale in Virginia for a day, don't tell them that I am involved with real estate in the area.
>>57391134
his wife
is totally smokin hot
(like a playmate from the eighties)
>>57391229
depression chemicals
Icelad
post a picture of your penis
>>57391119
you cant get a man pregnant anyway
>>57391236
Your soul
>>57391083
they used to be alot cheaper aswell
i thought about buying a few in the hope that there might be some urban regeneration projects/gentification in the next 20 years that'll make house prices rise but cba tbqh
Poolish """"cuisine""""
>>57391225
never experienced that sorry
>>57391222
>>57391236
More than any of us can afford tbqh
>go to music festival
>banging tunes
>having a great time
>singer finishes last song
>some old bloke that dresses like an inner city secondary school maths teacher comes on stage with a funny hat
>starts talking about war and shit
http://news.sky.com/story/1672607/jeremy-corbyn-to-appear-at-glastonbury-festival
>Ah yes we here over at the Conservative party HQ think houses should be affordable to first time buyers, so we'll loan you 20% of the house's value interest free for 5 years
>Oh yeah it's only on new build properties for some reason
>They cost £250,000 minimum that's ok for you first time buyers right?
Literally what the fuck were they thinking with this initiative? It wont help first time buyers it will only help the middle class buy more properties to rent out.
To put this into perspective a person on £40,000 a year wouldn't be able to mortgage a £250,000 house.
>>57391119
i'm a breast man but i rate arses
>>57391222
gee i wonder
>>57391236
would literally spend £10,000 to make love to her and for her to make love to me
>>57391309
>>57391309
>lemon
>not vinegar
pleb get on my level
>>57391397
grow up
oh shit son
>>57391391
*ducks*
I've never used Tinder before and I don't own a smartphone. Can you use Tinder on a browser or is it exclusively a smartphone app? How does the thing even work, simply?
Business idea: buy houses in London, rent out single rooms for £60,000 a month plus £10,000 for bathroom access
>>57391430
oh dare
>>57391208
probably fucked some 10/10 guy she's not even dating on that bed
>>57391419
>COLD
>SALTY
>MEATY
>JELLY
>>57391430
RIP
>>57391413
I don't think she'd do it for £10000
>>57391430
when did Jason Statham convert?
>>57391444
that's a fucking steal lad
>>57391441
there are third party desktop programs for it
you swipe left or right on people
left = uggos
right = would
if the other person also swipes right on you then you "match" and can message each other
>>57391371
Except the Help to buy scheme has helped loads of people get on the property ladder.
Its obviously easier for couples though
>>57391487
>"""""poolish""""" cuisine
>>57391083
It's full of Niggers, thats why
>>57391222
what is the correlation between the 2 pictures
>>57391170
>back to wanting to be black
>>57391083
The soil is filled with lead from all the leaded gas burned in motorcity in the past. Also, they cut off city services (water, sewer, ambulance) to many parts of the city
>>57391428
t. abraham goyberg
>>57391441
You can use the windows phone apps on a windows computer, 6tin and timber
neither are official but pretty sure they do everything exactly the same
>>57391428
best goy
>>57391225
Afraid I can't relate to that lol x
>tfw no beth gf
>>57391516
>the Help to buy scheme has helped loads of people get on the property ladder.
How?
What first time buyer has £250,000?
Tories are living in millionaire la la land like usual.
>>57391575
it's a mortgage you dickhead. you need 5%, which would be 12.5k
>>57391498
she doesn't do that much work theses days
I reckon she would
Business idea: build a second London in Virginia for very little money, charge ridiculous amounts to live there
>I don't own a smartphone
Bit grim
>>57391575
>what first time buyer has 250k
that the point of a mortgage pham
>>57391516
t. Gideon
im literally the kid in this interview except I'm 19
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2Yzj192LHYA
how many cherries have you plucked /brit/? im on 3
>>57391575
ever heard of a mortgage you bellpiece?
>>57391575
Are you literally retarded??
>>57391658
I buy them glace ones
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mcjEQEZlnmk&index=12&list=PLYVGrDapR5IexftzGmo8PIIK731-jymzu
DIRTY FUCK THAT MURKY
>I own a smartphone but havent texted anyone on it in 2 months
bit grim
>>57391529
>You arent allowed to use slang unless youre black
A young single mother hanged herself three weeks after an abortion, an inquest heard.
Jade Rees, 21, from Oldham, had a termination when a five-month relationship with the unborn baby’s father broke down.
But an inquest heard that the decision left her ‘upset and distressed’.
And three weeks later Jade, who already had a son, played the Ed Sheeran song ‘Small Bump’, written about a miscarriage, through her phone before she took her own life.
>>57391575
>he thought people regularly paid cash up front for homes
kek
HOW are there so many pakis and immigrants in london if the housing prices are exorbitant?
>The concept of Original Sin is both ridiculous and anthropologically inaccurate
>>57391611
>>57391635
Yeah but literally no bank will give you a £237,000 mortgage
The MOST you can borrow is 4 times your salary.
>>57391535
Reckon there's any hope of it becoming good again? They need jobs really
>>57391371
>Lets build ten stories high tight cramped concrete nu-commieblock
>Flats twice the price of a suburban house
>Muh close to city centre, muh fences
Seriously thinking of living in an abandoned tunnel in the woods at this point.
>>57391487
Eating atm lad
ama
>>57391704
they live in shitholes
![Churchill-Cigarsmokers-Most-Famouse-Cigar-Smokers-Most-Iconic-Cigar-Smokers1[1].jpg](https://i.imgur.com/0fHkJVm.jpg "Churchill-Cigarsmokers-Most-Famouse-Cigar-Smokers-Most-Iconic-Cigar-Smokers1[1].jpg")
>tell my gf I love her
>little does she know that literally the only reason I'm with her is because she has a cracking pair of tits
>>57391710
Have you even read about how help to buy works? Because it seems like you haven't and my blood pressure is rising
>>57391575
You think everyone pays up front for houses?
You're the one living in la la land pal
>>57391694
yeah lad thats cultural appropriation, you racist or something
>>57391655
me in the video
My cat
>>57391729
kek, saved this tbf
>>57391799
speedy gonzalez
>>57391710
That's why the government pay 20% of the house value you fucking twat
>>57391704
they live 15 to a house not even joking
>Define a function comp :: Prog → Code that translates a program into machine code, using a state monad to handle the generation of fresh labels
>Define a function exec :: Code → Mem that executes code produced by your compiler, returning the final contents of the memory
ah yes of course
don't get how people can have a gf they're not in love with
Give me just one reason why I need to "get onto the property ladder" before I turn 30
>>57391830
>machine code
>>57391799
VERY quick catt.
>>57391777
>some people unironically say this even though theyre speaking in ENGLISH
>>57391695
the jews did this
>>57391694
>wants to fit in with the, what they call, blacks
>forcefully uses language he heard on a youtube video to be trendy
>>57391869
bloody haskell i dunno why i took this module
>>57391799
pretty fast
jizzed
>>57391695
normies are fucking bags in the wind
airheaded and blown about by the smallest breeze
>>57391717
Detroit might be able to reinvent itself as an artsy enclave, with all the cheap real estate. They have an amazing art museum. I wouldn't want to eat anything from the urban farms there though.
>>57391655
Really sad desu. Broken Britain failing the youth.
>>57391902
*ducks again*
>>57391841
Because renting is pissing money away for literally no return
You may as well just fucking drink it, renters are suckers.
>hello I'd like to buy your house
>Jolly good, that'll be £250,000 please
>is cash okay?
>>57391751
They give you 20% of the value of the house in a loan for 5 years.
On a 250,000 that's 50,000. With a 12.5k deposit that's still a mortgage of £187,000
Ah yes very affordable!
>>57391948
debit cards only sorry
What I hate with women generally is the intimacy, the invasion of my innermost space, the slow strangulation of my art
>>57391956
get a better job then you runt
>>57391655
why are there so many people from the west country on jezza
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2waIvp265CM
PECKNARMMMM
>>57391948
Enjoy having your door broken down at 5 in the morning for money laundering
my mates car is so battered that he has to have the heating on full blast when driving to avoid the engine overheating and dying on him.
>>57391695
Subhuman slag.
>What I hate with women generally is the intimacy, the invasion of my innermost space, the slow strangulation of my art
>>57391430
he put an extra dip in the bag
praise be upon him
>>57391956
Dude people pay mortgages for a long time, thats just how it is
>This is considered a 10/10 in Britain
>>57392006
You answered your own question
>>57391987
You might be on the spectrum.
going to call in sick tomorrow when i'm not sick at all
>>57391956
Extend the length of it then you fucking twat
>>57391956
And at the end of it you're sitting on a quarter of a million worth of property to rent out to poor chumps while you work on the next one.
People here will be making mortgage payments for 10-20 years on one house.
Finish the sentence:
Fuck off _____
>>57392067
DEVILISH
E
V
I
L
I
S
H
>>57391889
>hes never spoken to anyone in real life before
>>57392045
>>57392001
For a bank to give you that much money you'd need to earn at least £45,000 a year.
getting cheeky with me mam
>>57391940
>buying food is literally pissing money away
Just buy farms famm
>>57392067
already told your boss
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oJkRjfXXXog
>>57392010
>Typical /brit/ poster
>>57391163
Not even memeing, that is my life plan
Being a drug dealer can't be that difficult. In nigger rap videos they make cocaine in their kitchens.
>>57392059
>>57392112
>Buying a £250,000 house on your own
don't mind me just herding my pakis
>hello I'd like to buy your house
>Jolly good that will be £250,000
*writes large novelty cheque*
>>57392067
boss told me to pick up the slack months ago
told her i would work harder but started slacking more and she hasnt said anything
>>57392090
you
u kno I got dat sizzurp
that was defiantly the best wank i've had 2k16
willy's still hard and pulsing
>>57392109
>thinks using the word "peng" hides his autism and masks his virginity
>>57392177
Ah yes so now I need to find a wife too if I want a house
Thank you for the "help" tories.
>>57392233
pics or it didn't happen
>>57392178
the madman recording is russian too kek
>>57391441
you can use bluestacks on windows pc
it's an emulator
>>57392178
to the gas chamber i hope
>>57392157
>they make cocaine in their kitchens
that is not how that works
>>57392262
>162
>>57392233
are you a virgin? If so boy have I got a treat for you.
>>57392257
The help to buy scheme is literally aimed at young couples
haha... Y-yeah my partner
wonder how many mongs are gonna post in there haha
>>57392067
hope you've got a good sick voice
>>57392325
Where is help to buy for us singles? This is discrimination
>>57390999
Gott strafe England!
>>57392257
Or a husband, or a life partner. Whatever.
they don't want singles taking up valuable house space, that's why they brought in the bedroom tax. They want couples, who will have families, pay taxes and stay in that house for years.
policy proposal: impose a 0.3% tax on all stock trades and a 0.05% tax on currency conversions performed by businesses or brokers registered in the UK to disincentivize speculatory investment
the best wanks are those had only once a week
>>57392266
ask frenchy Sam in Leeds
(ᵒʳ ˢᵉᵉ ᵗᵒ ʸᵒᵘʳ ᶫᵉʷᵈ ᵇʳᶦᵗ ᶠᵒᶫᵈᵉʳ)
>>57392127
Not at all the same thing
You need food to survive, you don't NEED to rent. It's not even much cheaper to rent as opposed to making mortgage payments, the difference is when you're ready to move you'll either own the place and make your money back or you'll be right back where you started. It's that kind of mentality that enables landlords to bend your wallets over the table, just commit and buy it instead of being a useless lazy cunt and burning the money.
>>57392335
You could live with the lads
Wrote a poem about my life lads
It's called "Inked Ravens of Despair Claw Holes In The Arse Of The World's Mind"
Scrotal threats unhorse a question of flowers
I asked for answers
And got a headful of heroin in return
When time fell wanking to the floor
They kicked his teeth
My body disgusts
Damp grease wafts sweat balls from sweat balls and thigh fungus
A girl strips in my mind
Squeezes my last pumping drop of hope
And rolls me over to sleep alone
Fireball the dead cities of the mind
And watch the skin peel and warp
Unhappy bubbles of anal wind
Popping and winking
In the mortal bath
>Actually thinking help-to-buy is to help first time buyers and not to help tory millionaire boomers buy their 3rd buy-to-let property
It's the conservative party they only care about their voter base.
>>57392394
>voted tory
>single
>betrayed
why lads
>>57392380
I know senpai, I know
>>57392335
Why are you trying to buy a house if ypu're single? what do you need all those extra bedrooms for?
>Vardy makes racist remarks to a Jap in a casion
>no charges
>Someone posts a mean tweet about Vardy's baby daughter
>Police are investigating
Why are whites so bad at handling the banter yet the think they're entitled to dish it out?
>>57391132
Poleaboo watched her heels move up and down, not her skirt
>>57392439
Poleaboo can relate
>>57392439
I wrote this the other day.
No bully.
I froze your tears and made a dagger,
and stabbed it in my cock forever.
It stays there like Excalibur,
Are you my Arthur?
Say you are.
Take this cool dark steeled blade,
Steal it, sheath it, in your lake.
I’d drown with you to be together.
Must you breathe? Cos I need Heaven.
>>57392284
yes it is watch the music video for coco by the black gentleman ot genasis
giving la roux a listen
>>57392463
Don't forget the bankers the bonuses the bankers the bonuses
>>57392404
nice x
>>57392439
I couldn't make it past the title
>>57392516
http://files.shroomery.org/cms/5884387-cocaine_extraction.pdf
>>57392513
>I’d drown with you to be together.
was a really good line but what was that about a cock getting stabbed
>>57392394
>They want muslim couples that will have muslim families
Fixed
business idea: get a loan to buy some land, build a house on it and sell it
>>57392516
they are making crack cocaine. you mix cocaine with additives like baking soda to make it crack (whipping). they are not making cocaine, they are making crack from cocaine.
is this a fedora watch lads
>>57392490
Because renting is pissing money up the wall
>"The rich are out to get me, I won't make the intelligent decision to buy instead of rent because I want to be poor my whole life so I can bitch about the imaginary tory conspiracy with my flatmate Abdul instead of taking responsibility for my own poor choices!"
>>57392567
crying
there's always one
http://www.dailymotion.com/video/x233pgm_david-brent-poem_lifestyle
THE MADMAN DID IT AGAIN
>>57392401
>>57392401
>>57392401
>>57392401
>>57392401
ABSOLUTE M A D M A N
B
S
O
L
U
T
E
Jog interview tomorrow, slightly nervous
>>57392611
It's a watch for nerds
Nerd
>>57392620
So get a gilfriend if you want to stop renting
>>57392385
Gott erhalte Franz den kaiser.
I really miss you guys.
HORRIFIC
BETRAYAL
3rd day off benzos
>>57392621
Ah yes you can just buy a house just like that.
Have you not been paying attention these past 3 days?
We've learnt that a person on an income below £30,000 can't afford anything.
Most of us are under 25 and make way under £30,000
OF
>>57392611
Yes it is, get a proper one
Poleaboo is thinking to make his novel more interesting he should start at the middle-end of the story and have flashbacks to earlier points
>>57392640
make sure to do your stretches
>>57392635
that was stupid
>>57392621
>implying theres any houses to buy
>implying I could afford them
>implying there wasn't a literal conspiracy among housebuilders to not build enough houses
nah its my fault for not being a banker
flights always go from the same terminal right lads?
the terminal its flying from today will be the same on thursday right?
Why does help to buy only apply to new builds?
Seems like an arbitrary restriction.
>>57392710
what's a good one
*record scratch*
*freeze frame*
You're probably wondering how I got myself into this mess. Well, first we'll have to go back a little bit
*rewind sound*
*me as a baby*
Woah! Not that far back!
>>57392707
1. Why are you looking at houses in areas out of your price range
2. Why are you not working to improve your income
>>57392772
Why wouldn't you be a banker than? They handle money all day, when you need money you go to them. Be a banker, buy a house you can afford, grow some balls.
might comic suicide
>The lefts solution to the housing crisis is for the government to buy all the houses and then make us all rent from the government.
How is this any better than the current situation? Now you're just pissing money away on rent.
>>57392865
kek
>>57392787
if only there was some way to find this information on the day, ah well, such days will remain a dream
>>57392858
lol
>>57392765
that's the real quiz
>amerinonces
http://i.4cdn.org/r9k/1459804238744.jpg
>>57392788
Because Cameron is probably friends with the head of Bellway
The North
SEX
>This clueless fucking yank ITT
>>57392923
he has good taste in lolis
You lads like Goldfish?
It's the snack that smiles back desu
>>57392787
yes
>>57392894
The secret is to build more houses.
KOLYAAAA
bellend smells like skips
>>57392908
i'm just plane watching this weekend, asshole
I always feel better when I work hard lads.
Managed to do shitloads at work today, did the front page of my portfolio too
Music sounds fucking sick, even better than before.
I feel like I'm finally getting somewhere :)
Honestly, just force yourself to do something productive and it's worth it.
business idea: destroy the english countryside by building thousands of homes for brown people who hate us and only come here to claim benefits
>>57393063
shhhhh, it's okay
skip smells like bellends
>>57393057
foy
norfolk smells
>>57393091
I'm out.
>>57393057
>ass
want a leeds gf
Live in middlesbrough
seeing The Weekend this weekend
>>57393091
Poleaboo thinks bigots need to fuck off
>>57393091
good idea, only a racist would oppose this
>>57393091
I'm in!
t. Labour party policy advisor c.1997
>>57393145
bigot
>>57393091
There is too much countryside, you could easily build a city and have plenty to spare
anyone here playing salt and sanctuary?
Its quite possibly goty so far
>>57392788
The whole point is to get new houses built and get people into them before all the Russian billionaires buy them
>>57393172
the entire country thinks you should fuck off back to pakistan
