>be australian
>wake up, have to go to mandatory boomerang practice
>ride my kangaroo's pouch all the way up to the beach
>arrive 12 hours later
>practice starts as soon as the first immigrant boats start showing up
>government gives 3 extra MB of data for each boat sunk
>sink two of them, feeling cocky
>try 360 trickshot
>critical miss, hit myself in the face
>suddenly a platoon of Emus show up
>it's a massacre, everybody dies except for me
>hurry back home
>the spider I live with ate my brother and my pet dingo
>feels bad man
>decide to go to the internet to relieve some stress
>turn on the AC in my computer room
>Room temperature is 49°C, perfect
>Shitpost a few minutes on /int/
>still have 15 MB left, decide to have a wank
>look for some hentai GIFs to jack it to
>Suddenly the police knock down the door
>"OI CUNT THAT GIRL BETTER BE UP TO STANDARD"
>Police measure the girls' breast size
>79B
>"YER GOIN TO JAIL MATE"
>Arrive to jail, wondering how the lower bottom of the girl looked like
>get raped by Abos
Life is suffering.
>mexican "humour"
Good thread.
>>57202715
>be mexican
>get beheaded by cartel
>>57202715
if you want real replies from us just mention our superb internet speeds
>>57203683
>Be French
>Get bombed my ISIS
>>57202715
>practice starts as soon as the first immigrant boats start showing up
>government gives 3 extra MB of data for each boat sunk
>sink two of them, feeling cocky
>try 360 trickshot
>critical miss, hit myself in the face
>suddenly a platoon of Emus show up
>it's a massacre, everybody dies except for me
>hurry back home
>the spider I live with ate my brother and my pet dingo
>feels bad man
>decide to go to the internet to relieve some stress
>turn on the AC in my computer room
>Room temperature is 49°C, perfect
>>57203879
>head to work to sell chiclets (chewing gum) on the street corner
>someone took my spot today
>ask cousin in the cartel to kill the guy on my street corner
>cousin beheads the street vendor
>take spot on corner selling chiclets ontop of beheaded body
>sell 3 chiclet packs today
>head to the store to buy tortillas
>walk 30 miles home to go rest
>repeat forever
I CAN'T BREATHE
>>57203879
>>57203888
>be american
>decides to take a plane
>ends up in a building
>still clap for the plane landing
>decides to run a marathon then
>get blown up
>tips the paramedic team
>need to change my mind, go to the theater
>"sorry sir, no singles policy "
>tips him anyway
>rough day, Take a picnic on the campus
>get shot
>>57203879
Chicles*
>>57204738
>Be Ecuadorian
>So irrelevant no one even knows what goes on in my daily life
>>57204738
>be Ecuadorian
>live at the Equator
>???
CANT MAKE THIS SHIT UP
This is great. Thoroughly enjoyed that. Cheers cunt.
