AHAHAHA JEWS ARE #1 AHAHA LMAO WE RULE THE WORLD AHAHA :dDDDDD FUGGKING GOYS MUH HOLCAUST :dddXXDDDD
Why do birthright trips lead you down into tourist traps?
>>52605496
because you didn't really expect it to be free
>>52605489
Jealous son of Japheth detected
>>52605496
They know most amerijews would never move there so they want to squeeze as many shekels out of them as they can
>>52605542
XD
L *wait for it* MAOING @ UR LIEF ESE
>>52605523
>>52605542
Seriously, I paid like 30 shkalim for some of the shittiest shawarma I had ever eaten in my life when I visited the Dead Sea. One time I tried actually going off the beaten path to see a historic synagogue I really wanted to visit and they chewed me out so fucking bad.
Hell, everyone had mistaken me for Israeli already. Half the time, the group would be barred from doing something for whatever reason because they're Americans, and I would just waltz right through.
Are you kikes happy with yourselves? All you do is whine about muh 6 million and yet you continue to import muslims and promote leftist degeneracy in traditionally white christian nations.
>>52605568
Dude that's actually pretty good shitposting. The symbols and shit really irk me the fuck off.
>>52605489
>>52605568
>>52605618
they have like 10 days on a tight schedule
I see it can be annoying but I can't really blame them so much
>>52605722
AHAHAHA LOLZ >le epik STOP PIST .dddd maymay
>>52605751
Me neither. In all honesty, I don't think birthright was for me. I enjoyed it, but it felt like the most basic experience of my life.
I mean, I got to fuck an IDF soldier; but, she got really mad at me when I left a hicky and she wouldn't talk to me after. ;_______;
Regardless, I want to go again on my own time. I want to roll on ketamine and dance at the night clubs in Tel Aviv. I want to actually visit historic synagogues across the land.
I will admit this: Hiking through the Hatzbani River was fun af.
On a side note, at one point, the IDF soldiers wanted me to say "Mish'haq" (cream?) as they recorded me on snapchat. What's the meme? They said it's important that I do that Sephardi het that I know.
>>52605885
Yeah there are some great hiking roads that go across the country like that
and it means game
>>52605995
I swear they wanted me to say shin and not sin. I dunno. Is there some kind of funny le maymay affiliated with it?
>great hiking roads
I bet. I'm going to have to do more of those river hikes someday. Oh yeah, I remember one memory. We were river rafting down the Jordan River and my group sang along
>She'll be cumming like a river when she cums
It was pretty childish, but pretty funny.
Want to go through with the Machal program tbqh
Any Israelis know anything about this?
hey jews give me money
>>52605442
How do they celebrate Christmas in Israel?
>>52606184
>Is there some kind of funny le maymay affiliated with it?
I don't think so.
>>52606265
You'll go to Nahal, so far as I am aware.
If you are planning non-combat service, don't bother. The IDF has more jobniks than they know what to do with.
>>52606285
Are you the mighty based Kazahk?
>>52606327
Pretty sure they got a tree in Bethlehem and Nazareth
>>52605629
Seriously, is there always some /pol/ autist ranting in these threads?
>>52606447
yes
>>52606393
I was planning on it
My dream was to be in the Coast Guard but I have scoliosis and am thus ineligible. I am Jewish (sorta, but I could get that worked out easily enough) and I heard he IDF takes anyone with a pulse. I have yet to confirm any of this but if I've got any shot at serving in a legitimate military, that's it.
>>52606393
>>52606652
As in, I was planning on doing something combat related.
>>52606652
That may lower your physical profile, and you may be ineligible for 07 work, such as infantry.
There may be 05 jobs, like artillery and field intelligence, open.
Don't walk into the recruiting office until you know, basically, what's happening when you leave it. The army is notorious for screwing people six ways to Sunday, so you ought to speak to the handful of people running and/or involved in Machal before going to ensure you have the full picture. The army won't give it to you.
>>52606980
Thanks for giving it to me straight. It pisses me off so much, I've played sports my whole life, I'm muscular and active, I lift weights, deadlift and all that but because my back shows up curved on an X-ray, no dice.
Would there any way for me to join the IDF without essentially being stuck with a bunch of children? Or is it just a real toss up? I'm 21, so maybe it'd be nicer if I got to work with people roughly my age.
>>52607227
really depends on your profile senpai
>>52607279
Small frame, exiting with a bachelors in economics, and with experience in data analysis. My Hebrew's so and so, but I have an extended programming and web design history as well.
>>52607386
most of people will be 20~
>>52607227
You will be stuck with a bunch of 18-year olds. 100% of the time.
Even your commanders may be younger than you. I got chewed out by people younger than me regularly.
>>52607386
I told you to avoid the jobnik jobs, because I didn't know you had credentials and assumed you'd be unskilled.
With that skillset, there may be options for you to be a part of the non-useless subset of jobniks. Intelligence in particular is one of the fastest growing corps in the IDF. They *may* have a use for you. In that case, you'd be more useful there than with a rifle. If that's what you want, of course.
>>52607386
>small framed Jewish man with a bachelors in economics
Surprise surprise
>>52607614
This person >>52607386
Is separate from me
>>52606652
>>52606980
>>52607614
I'm a different person m8. Sorry. The other person with no experience. I just asked after that person had already started asking.
>>52607605
By the time I exit, I'll be 22. And, depending on how much my mother struggles, I might not even be able to do this until like 23 or 24. At that point, I'm just considering not joining the IDF. But if I want to move to Israel, I have to put service in.
I would really love to live in Tel Aviv one day. It's the most Western city and so I identified with it a lot (the people there were less pushy and that made me feel at ease).
>>52607617
Ahh m8, the only economist in my internship in DC was Jewish. Shlein kek kek. We jewed out hard. Saving dat money.
I get it from my mom's side. My dad was fucking 6'4'' and played basketball in college.
>>52607787
My sorta jew dad married a typical popular white girl
Got my dad's slav-tier build thankfully
>>52607730
>I have to put service in.
No, you don't.
If you come "too late" (26? I forget the cutoff) they simply give you an exemption from service. No strings attached.
>>52607730
then yes, most people will def. be younger than you
>>52607858
I thought the age was bumped up for whatever reason. I guess I could move to Israel in my late 20s, but I don't want to end up marrying in my mid 30s and have a infertile wife.
>>52607842
My mothers' family is Jewish too, but my maternal grandfather was a shorter Jew.
do kikes celebrate christmas?
>>52605618
>>52605496
>>52605523
This is why diaspora doesn't want to come to Israel.
Might as well move to Vilnius if I wanted to be all MUH HERITAGE
>>52607958
Oh we're still manlets, he's 5'9" and I'm 5'8" (although I could've gotten probably at least an inch if my back weren't fucked up). But the workhorse, beast of burden kind of manlet. I think my aspirations are similar to yours, I want to have a life in Israel as well. The sooner the better.
>>52608026
Birthright simply is not effective and never will be. It's fun, but it just ruins your hashkafa.
>>52608100
Haha, I feel for you. My half brother (my mom married a goy before my dad) and he ended up being like 5'9''. I'm 5'11'' (thank goodness) so I guess I get to be king of the manlets.
>>52608121
You can go to Russia and serve five years to become a citizen. After that you will find a small home, and live a life of low expenses. You drink and smoke and die at 67, but oh well, at least you lived.
In Israel people serve three years for men, and after that you supposedly pay out the ass for literally everything. And on top of that, every time you walk past a Chabadnik they will ask you if you put on tefillin. You will die with little money to leave to your children who will be outbred by Ar*ps in the coming decades anyway.
Hoped you enjoyed the holidays best ally
>>52608348
>not giving up material life and becoming a hasid
>not having 11 children
>not being a welfare queen
>not spitting on Christians
>>52608348
Maybe I should just move there, get a wife, and get out.
>>52608453
That means no more 4chan though. :(
>>52608453
Eh, I know some Chassids, they're alright people. Their wives drop babies like crazy. I don't think it's the life for me. And this >>52608563, that would be too much. I can't stop memeing now that I'm addicted.
>>52608526
Which place, Russia or Isr?
>>52608669
Israel. Spend as little money. Find a nice Israeli girl and get the fuck out. Win win for both of us.
>>52608669
>their wives drop babies like crazy
My rav's wife is dropping her 9th baby soon. She gets pregnant pretty much every year. She is pregnant more times than not.
>>52608772
My rav's wife just had her 5th... I think. That was a few months ago. I was even invited to Upshernish, but I politely declined by forgetting to respond. They moved here a couple of years ago with two kids. Now she looks like she might be pregnant, again.
>christ killers daring to show their beak on a christian imageboard on this day
>>52608882
They don't stop until it becomes physically impossible. The family finally moved to a bigger house. For the longest time, they stayed in a 3 bedroom place even as they had tons of kids.
>>52608940
>tfw bearded Chassid has had more sex than you EVER will
>>52608933
I remember reading about how utterly disgusted Oscar Wilde was with how shitty Dublin looked. He felt really sad for the oppression of his Irish brothers, but the Irish don't know how to do shit. Dumb, stupid, white trash with zero skills and zero awareness. They'd rather continue bombing shit even after they get their independence. Tip toppity kek.
>>52609002
I've always wondered if they actually had recreational sex or if they only do it when they need to pop another one out.
>>52609007
He was as Irish as you are, christ killer
>>52609061
No true Irishman. :^)
>>52609046
I don't know. I got curious once and Googled whether or not there are brachas for sex. Of course, Chabad had the answer. IIRC it is because fugging is intimate and pausing to say a prayer would inhibit the sexy fun time.
>>52609061
>Ireland
>Being anti-Semite
Go figure. Northern Ireland all the way fugging IRA terrorbist
>>52609109
Its like saying Stephen Fry is Irish
>>52609131
>>52609131
It's actually a halacha not to talk about what we already know goes on behind the doors at the rabbi's. I forgot what it fell under. Definitely not lashon hara, but something else. Hmm, I should pull out my copy of the ShA and look it up.
>>52609189
Oscar Wilde's mother was a big supporter and contributor to the IRA, nu?
>>52609217
Yes, but does Rabbi or G*d browse 4chan.org?
:^
>>52605885
>got to fuck an IDF soldier
How did you manage that? From what my friends who've done birthright told me it sounds like you hang out with the IDF in a large group. How'd you get him/her alone?
>>52609322
Okay, let me break down the story:
>IDF soldiers join us
>I try to stay out of there way because I'm not going to fight for attention
>one day one of the IDF girls sits next to me on the bus
>we talk for a bit, laugh, whatever
>the conversation isn't amazing, but it's certainly entertaining
>friday night
>we go to the kotel
>I'm with my nigga yeshayahu leibowitz, so I don't fuck with the diskotel
>on the way back we walk together and she grabs my hand (drags me off the road as one of those small as cars goes up the brick road)
>we get back to the caesaria hotel (or whatever the fuck it's called)
>we go to dinner
>I excuse myself and basically leave her with my other birthright friends
>go to my room, shit, groom, whatever
>by the time I get back the meal has ended
>go back to my room
>"Jacob, there's a small party in their room. Want to go to it?"
>eh okay
>go to it
>there she is, just sitting on the bed
>I go sit down next to her and talk to her, grab her hand
>my friend is there too (a girl) but she doesn't notice
>IDF girl had the slightest bit to drink
>before I went to this room I had shotgunned my vodka bottlle so I was pretty buzzed
>ask her if she wants to go back to my room since it's so loud (lots of people in this house party)
>she agrees and me, the IDF girl, and my friend go back to my room
>my ethiopian roommate is there as well
>we decide to try to watch TV
>my roommate leaves quickly once he sees us holding hands
>the other girl lingers for a bit
>she goes to the bathroom
>the second she goes to the bathroom
>we start making out
>she comes out and says "I'll excuse myself"
>I tell her she doesn't
>she does anyways
>the second she leaves I just get ontop of the IDF girl and start making out
>"Nobody can find out about this. I'll get in trouble if they find out."
>whatever
>my other roommate opened my hotel room by accident
>to make sure this doesn't happen again, I lock the door and put a sock on the outside handle
>2 hours later...
>>52609586
Continued:
>knocking on the door
>I send the IDF girl to the bathroom to hide
>I open the door and there's my friend and roommate just waiting outside in the hall
>"How long have you guys been here?"
>"The entire time."
>"WTF? Guys, leave."
>"Leave where?"
>"Just hide in the staircase or something. Let this girl leave with her dignity."
>they do so
>I give the IDF girl a kiss and slap her ass on the way out
And then she refused to speak with me apparently because I gave her a hicky (the girl that was a friend was her roommate in her room that day, and she expressed how pissed she was at me for the hicky).
Honestly, that girl was a bit weird. But it was fun.
>>52609586
That sounds awesome, not just the sex part but the fact that you get to party with IDF soldiers. I'm rethinking doing birthright now
>>52609765
The party wasn't really a party. We just got some bluetooth headsets turned on and we played music. The IDF soldiers drank, but didn't obviously get drunk. They're actually not supposed to drink at all, period, the end.
>>52609725
>>52609586
The worst part is that my room was right next to that of the tour guides' and the rabbi.
>>52609923
Other than that do you think birthright is worth it? I've already been to Israel twice in the past (both summer and winter) and birthright just seems like a giant tour through obvious tourist traps.
Like I've been to Yad Vashem, Massadah, Gates of Jaffa, Tel Aviv, Eilat and so on so I kinda fail to grasp why birthright is so special
>>52610082
It's free, but I wouldn't say it's worth it if it's not a first experience kind of thing. I even felt pretty underwhelmed by the experience.
I was actually pretty bummed out when our "Club night in Tel Aviv" consisted of bringing us to the outskirts of Tel Aviv, where there was only one bar open, and nothing else. I want to roll on Ketamine and party hard in Tel Aviv. Not do that dumbed down bullshit.
>Yad Vashem
Honestly the worst part of the trip. I hate holocaust museums and more importantly I hate our obsession with the holocaust. I get why it exists; but, from what I heard, if you're an Israeli, you'll end up going to it like 10 times throughout your life. Once is enough and even once is a bit too much.
I would definitely recommend to go alone if you have the money. Have some real fun without tour guides treating you like a child.
I understand why they keep you tied together, but I consider myself more experienced than your average upper class manhattan reform girl 18 year old.
>tfw can't go to Bethlehem to see the Baby Jesus' house because of jews
Do the people in Israel celebrate Christmas?
Do Israelis eat chinese food at christmas or is it just american jews?
We're sorry.
shalom lekulam
would israeli jews be angry if a goy dates their sisters?
>>52610390
it's an american thing
>>52610390
Are you Santa Claus?
fxp / showthread.php?t=15246280
>>52610339
nope
i wish tho :(
>>52610623
>FXP
ישוע תציל אותי מקטינים
>>52610413
If he's a nice guy I don't mind.
>>52610339
I go drinking with pals and we all wear santa hats, close enough?
>tfw you will always know your people are responsible for killing Jesus
We'd do it again 2bh
>>52612546
Fuck off Mel "Sugartits" Gibson
>>52612546
The WHOLE point of Jesus' shtick is that he dies4sinz.
Christianity literally has no USP if Jesus is saved and dies of old age.
>>52612838
Christianity literally has no USP.
>>52610262
Sounds a lot like my feelings toward it honestly. I personally liked Yad Vashem because it did the Holocaust memorial right, it focused on the people more than the politics.
How's the age breakdown usually? Assuming I'd go this summer I'd be 22, will I be surrounded by a bunch of college freshman aged suburban Jews?
>>52612884
Yad Vashem is a very beautiful and very well made museum, I just don't feel any connection to it.
>How's the age breakdown usually?
You can choose to go on a 22-26 trip if you want. I'd highly recommend doing that instead. At least then you won't be stuck with children.
I'm not saying I hate the birthrighters I went with, but this one kid, Amir, he got fucking drunk the first two days. Caused a ruckus. I had to drag his ass back to his room. And everyone came on that trip judging others too. It got kind of sickening after a second.
The decent people on the group tended to stay quiet actually.
>suburban
I went on a random mayanot trip and half were from NYC and the other half from other places basically.
This one girl on the trip pissed me off really bad though.
>on bus
>only 2 days left
>everyone is dead exhausted and snoozing on the bus
>18 year old spoiled brat goes to the front and asks to play music
>when told no she gets upset
>"You guys don't like your music."
>tour guide tries to reason with her
>"You're making a deal out of nothing."
>she keeps insisting and ends up playing some music on "low volume"
>wakes up people next to me
I just about was going to tell her to grow the fuck up, but thank god that Ethiopian told me not to. He was definitely much more mature than anyone else on that group, probably more mature than me. Anyways, I strongly recommend you go on a 22-26 group.
I would move to Israel if the gun laws weren't so shit. You can blame the Chassids for getting me hooked. I went to CGI, we shot rifles, and I became addicted. My parents even bought me a gun.
>>52610623
>jews falling for their own tricks
>>52616345
you are very dedicated
>>52610623
זה מסוג הדברים שייגרמו אפילו לועדה רפואית של ביטוח לאומי לאשר שיש לך אוטיזם.
>>52616617
זה יהודי נאור שנפל לטריקים של עצמו כפי שאישר את זה הברנש הדני
>>52616617
לא קראתי לעומק אבל זה נראה לי כמו תרגום של העלילה של טוהואו או משהו כזה
חברים יקרים, איך אדון יחצן היה מסביר את הנתונים הבאים?
>>52617063
טורקיה
כן
>>52617063
עם טבלה של HDI
>>52617063
oced אנטישמים
Fuck Israel, fuck the kikes
Merry xmas motherfuckers
>>52610575
Santa is not real besides theres no way I could be him anyway do you know how busy I am today?
>>52606327
With the tradional lighting of a Palestinians house, then the Palestinians respond with the tradional secruity guard stabbing, it all comes to a festive climax when both sides put on a fireworks display but the Palestinians always complain because israeli fireworks are always better.
מי ער?
>>52619982
אני
>>52620181
למה?
hi civilized kebabs
What is like to live in Tel Aviv? No memes please.
Why did you kill jesus
>>52605442
Why ppl hate Israel and Jewish?
I am non-Jewish, but I love Israel and Jewish ppl.
and I am kind of zionist, and I admire them. and I am learning עברית, it's so soft like deserts of middle east. what you guys think about us?
>>52620276
Tel Aviv prides itself on being the Miami of the Mediterranean; lots of young beach goers and everything's happening all the time. It's a bustling party city
>>52620276
I know what it's like to be in Tel Aviv. It's very western. People are humble, not as pushy as other Israelis. It's pretty leftist, and sometimes a little overbearing, but the people are nice, the shuks are awesome, and the weather is perfect.
>>52620681
ברוך הבא, אחי קוריאני
In my opinion, people hate Jews because of our unwillingness to give in. If the Jews were a fantasy race with a particular set of characteristics, such as elves are haughty, dwarfs are greedy, and so forth, I have no doubt that Jews would be perpetually full of hope. This, more than anything else, makes people angry when they see it; it makes them particularly angry when they don't have it themselves. All throughout history, through pogroms and expulsions, through war and the holocaust, we've never lost hope. I'm not sure what the reason is for non-0religious Jews, but I can say as am orthodox Jew that it is because of an trembling flame of faith in an Almighty Power above.
That sort of talk tends to tick people off pretty good.
>>52621474
Alot of people just dislike israeli politics and theyre more rabid supporters, americans who say we should support israeli because "muh chosen people" come to mind.
>>52621716
Agreed, but that's obviously a more modern phenomenon. Historically that's never been an issue, for obvious reasons.
>>52621474
Dwarves are designed after irl jews, though. Tolkien's dwarf language was inspired by Hebrew.
>>52621823
W-was Tolkien-sensei wrong on s-something...?
>>52608933
How do you worship a Jew while hating Jews?
>>52610314
Are you retarded? I'm Christian and have been to Israel twice and seen it, maybe they just didn't want a drunk leprechaun running around
>>52608933
>christian imageboard
>christian
hiroyuki-sensei is shinto you cheap "guiness-is-best-beer" meme-touting drunkard
