Jew kid is kicking the wall of the town's church. The priest comes outside and yells at him "If you don't stop that this instant, I'll baptise you!" The kid continues what he's doing, so the priest angrily catches him and really baptizes him with holy water. The kid runs away home crying. He tells what happened to his mother, who beats him terribly. When his father comes home, he also beats him.
Afterwards the kid runs outside to the street and says angrily: "I have only been a Christian for half an hour, but I already fucking hate the jews"
People are knocking on a jew's door in the second world war. He asks nervously "Who are you?"
"Friends"
"How many of you are out there?"
"Fünf "
1943, Hitler is standing on the roof of the Reichstag with a bunch of Jews. He throws them off the roof one after another. After some time, one of his officers tells him he's got an important phone call from Rommel.
Hitler responds: "Tell him I'll all back when I finish my tetris"
Who are the world greatest optimists? The jews!
They cut off a piece of themselves before even knowing how large it will grow.
How do you fit 8 jews in the backseat of a Volkswagen?
With a Hacksaw.
>>52124737
oh that's a good one
God during creation asks the races what kind of noses they'd like. He asks the black guy
"I'd like it to be flat, and to fit me well"
And so it was. Then God asked the white guy
"I kinda want a thinner one, but it should also fit me nicely"
And so it was. Then God turned to the jew "What kind of nose would you like to have?"
"Well, does it cost money?"
"No"
"Then the biggest one you have"
How do you drive a Jew crazy?
You put him in a circular room and tell him there's a coin in the corner.
A young guy goes home from college and tells his father cheerfully "Father, I just lost my virginity last night" The father exclaims happily "Why that is great news my boy, here let us sit and have a toast"
"Well, we can drink, but I still can't sit properly..."
Hitler walking around in Auschwitz
-Okay Juden, we will release half of you.
Everyone is cheering.
-But we're halving by your waist.
>>52125577
kek
In Auschwitz, one boy ask another: "What's that sweet smell"?
The other boy answers: "Oh, now they're burning the sugar rush patients"
Priest talks to the gypsy.
-Okay gypsy, if you can learn how to cross yourself by tomorrow I'll give you a pig as a present.
Next day comes.
-Okay gypsy, show me what you learned.
-In the name of the Father and the Holy Spirit. Amen.
-Bug gypsy, where did "the Son" go?
-The son? He's already taking the pig home.
How does a Muslim practice safe sex?
He marks the camels that kick.
A man dies and goes to hell. He's walking sadly when he runs into the Devil himself, who asks:
"Why are you so sad?"
"Well, I'm dead, and I'm literally in Hell."
"Come now, it isn't that bad! Do you like to drink?" inquires the Devil
"Yes" answers the man.
"You are going to love our Mondays then! We drink all day long, vodka, beer wine, whatever you desire! We drink until we puke and then some. By the way, do you smoke?"
"Just a little" answers the man
"Then you'll adore our Tuesday! We have cuban cigars, tobacco, everything you could want! How about gambling?"
"Well occasionally"
"That's great! Wednesday we play cards, poker, we even have horseracing. Oh and, do you like drugs?"
"Of course"
"Perfect! Every Thursday we gorge ourselves in cocaine, weed, ecstasy, it's a huge party, believe me" "Oh, and last question, are you gay?"
"What?! No, of course not"
"Uuuhhh, well, Fridays will probably be just a little rough on you..."
A black person and a mexican are in a car. Who's driving?
- The police officer
>>52124992
>>52125426
>>52125931
Ahahah nice ones mate
>Where do scratch marks on a shop counter come from ?
A jew woman picking up her change
How many Jews fit in a mini cooper?
Five in the seats and six million in the ashtray.
>>52126311
>>Where do scratch marks on a shop counter come from ?
>A jew woman picking up her change
I don't get it...
>>52126719
She has claws akhi
>>52126701
you couldn't fit six million people's ashes in a truck, let alone an ash tray
>>52127112
the joke is that the YOLOcaust wasnt real
How was copper wire invented?
Two jews found the same penny.
Why isn't Santa Jewish?
He's too fat to go up the chimney.
Hitler in Auschwitz II
-Okay Juden, we'll have a high jump competition!
First jew jumps, 1.60m
-Gut, give him a piece of bread.
Second jew jumps, 1.70m
-Gut, give him two pieces of bread.
Third jew thinks to himself: "I'm gonna jump a fucking record and get all the bread!"
He jumps, 2.20m
-Ach, he might be able to jump the fence, shoot him!
