Why Finns so funny ?
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hdgGMDc7XSM
>Have a job that's a mystery
>>51505447
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hsZIPuLE7s8
but I want coffee and doughnuts and candy ;__;
>a week long exercise in the cold wintry woods approaching
>report to the garrison hospital
>complain about headache and stuff
>spend the entire week hanging around the barracks sleeping on a warm bed and boiling sausages in the coffeemaker while other are freezing to death and not getting any sleep
Yeah....Funny....
>>51513082
jokes are funnier when you replace punctuation with headshots
>>51509565
Faggot
>>51509565
>boiling sausages in the coffeemaker
what
>>51509565
Asshole 2bh. I hated people like you in the army.
>>51509565
lol you cheeky rascal
>>51513627
Like so. You just run the water through a few times.
>>51513772
dunno, kinda glad the non motivated were out of the way. Also got all that extra food and desserts, because less people to share with.
>>51513883
>not using kettle and just hold the button
>>51514063
Hold what button?
>>51513883
Never heard of that technique before and I don't even know why I find this so funny.
>>51514114
The on/off switch obviously, so it won't flip off when the water is boiled.
>>51514141
That's what you when you have sausages in the barracks and no other way of heating water.
>>51514221
Coffeemakers don't work like that here. There's a switch and when you switch it on, the coffeemaker heats the water on the tanks and runs it trough the filter. After that the switch stays on and keeps the hotplate warm(not hot) under the coffee pot.
>>51508812
>mfw during our basic training (p-kausi) our captain showed us videos like these
>>51509565
>two week stint at Rovajärvi (an artillery range fuck nowhere in Lapland) is coming up
>"everyone not dead participates" t. 1st sgt snuss master
>be the unit's duty officer (or whatever päivystäjä is in enklish) on the morning we're heading off
>pvt 180 excuses seeks to excuse himself yet again and reports to medical
>todays illness: tropical testicle fever
>fever not found
>reports back to medical, this time it's hemmoroids
>comes back from the medical with the right to wash his anus twice a day with fresh water
>everyone's faces
In the end it was all pretty chill out there because signals company's cable team and no real duties apart from the first and the last day when we were setting up comms.
The rest of the time sgt super soldier an lt master super soldier were training us all sorts of shit we wouldn't otherwise be taught.
>>51514742
>drive MLRS on a forest road
>forget to pull the antennas down
>antennas tear down the cable team's overpass from the trees
>laugh at the cable team as they star their work all over again
>se tunne kun movetin 125 päivää
>se tunne kun olin yksin tuvassa pelaamas pokemonii ku ulkona sato ja muut oli leiril
>se tunne kun päivystäjä tuli tupaan hengaa mun kaa ja juottii väkevii kaapista
>>51505379
It's a mystery
>>51515115
>>51509565
Out of curiosity why did you even take part in conscription if you obviously didn't/don't give a shit?
You could have just avoided serving altogether if you had lied during the call up.
>>51515115
>se tunne kun 5 litraa yskänlääkettä kaapissa TJ0-päivänä
>>51515330
I only started to MoVe close to the end of service because my teammates were complete cunts and sucked any kind of motivation from me. I had good time during the rookie season before the teams got mixed.
>>51515344
>tj0
>500 kyrvänmakusta antibioottitabuu tuvan roskikses
>>51515344
>>51515483
>tj0
>duactia niin maan perkeleesti kaikkialla
>>51513883
What do with the water after ?
>>51515330
Personally, my family would have given me so much trouble if I didn't do it. Also,
>be 20
>apply for a job
>''have you completed your military service yet''
I swear if there will be war, I am more afraid of certain people on my side than the enemy.
>"Do you think we could start the campfire with a grenade Anon?"
>"Haha guys funny thing, we've been marching 10kilometers and I just noticed I didn't have my safety on"
>"So is east left or right?"
>>51515562
>''have you completed your military service yet''
It's illegal to ask that from a potential employee 2bh family
>>51515555
Same as what you do with water from kettle
>>51515582
>"Do you think we could start the campfire with a grenade Anon?"
>"Haha guys funny thing, we've been marching 10kilometers and I just noticed I didn't have my safety on"
>"So is east left or right?"
that's southern italian tier
>>51515582
>in the middle of a hot zone during war
>''LAUGAUS LAUGAUS''
>20 men dive to the ground and start chuckling uncontrollably
>>51515627
It is illegal, but it's the most common question young men experience in job interviews. What are you gonna say to them? ''uhm that question is ILLEGAL''
>>51515730
And don't forget
>"AND KEEP THOSE GUNS CLEAN, THEY HAVE TO OUTSHINE SUN ITSELF"
>joku talvileiri
>toimistohuuhaa jättää osallistumatta (taas) vedoten toimistohommiin (taas)
>metsässä vääpeliä alkaa kiinnostaa huuhaan sijainti
>"herra vääpeli, huuhaalla on toimistohommia"
>"Jumalauta! Ei hänellä ole hommia jos minä en ole niitä määrännyt"
Ja siitä lähtien huuhaa osallistui yksikön palvelukseen.
Ei varmaan saisi yleistää, mutta sanottakoon että kun kyseinen taistelija olisi voinut välttää koko intin pilluunsa vedoten, ihmettelen miksi sinne piti ängetä jos kuitenkin aikoo sluibailla koko paskan.
>>51515782
I used to essentially say "you havin' a giggle m8"?
Then when they pressed on I admitted that I did do my military service.
>>51515894
Minä olin varmaan ainoa jota ei haitannut metsässä istuskelu. Eihän se ollut työtä millä oli tarkoitusta, mutta olipa ainakin aikaa selvitellä omia ajatuksia... ja ikävä kyllä muidenkin.
>>51515894
Voi vittu, vihasin sunlaisia apinoit eniten. Vitun päsmäri. Nofunallowed. 0 vmtl pv. Salee ekana päivänä ilmotit et yrität kokelaaks. Päädyitki alikiks vaa. Vietit päiväs patrolloiden tupien edes ja jos jollai vahingos oli jotai asustukses väärin, TUPAAN. Ime munaa mulkku, toivottavasti oikee elämäs on huono.
>>51516108
Jaa, mistäs noin äkäistyit?
Even thinking about my service time makes me depressed. Worst fucking time of my life.
>>51516108
Siellä on sitä hiekkaa vaginassa. >>51515894 on ihan jees kun puhutaan kuitenkin toimistoveltosta. Omia tupalaisia ja muita hajoilijoita ei saa kavaltaa, mutta nuo ovat erikoistapauksia.
Meillä yksi toimistopelle kusi kaikki hommat jotka sille annettiin, ja pelas runescapea koko palveluksen ajan.
>>51509565
>boiling sausages
show butt
>be good guy
>report genuine medical condition when starting service
>get reassigned to freakshow of ADHD cases, idiots and fatasses
>some dumbass thug stashing his booze in others' lockers
>"I'll come to your house and chop your knees with an axe if you snitch"
>retarded alcohol baby runs in the hallway without clothes, screaming like a girl
>support for eugenics intensifies
>>51515115
Ei päivääkään vapautusta vuodessa.
Also stories:
Unit trains rangers and recon switching every few years. Recon guys have the latest toys military has to offer. Us rangers get nearly all equipment from the 80's because apparently "we'll die anyway".
Regional Office messes up and sends too many new conscripts to the unit. Instructors don't send anyone back initially but just increase BS level. After six moths (half way for me) over 40% have been send away due to reasons ranging from stress fractures to psychological problems. HQ gets angry.
Training different movement styles in a sand pit because why not. Crawling for hours in the sand. At the end of the day everyone has road rash in their arms, legs and stomach and some are bleeding. Unit's nurse almost runs out of gauze and bandages.
Instructor throws satchel charge at us to see how fast we take cover.
At live fire exercise. Everyone should sleep at least six hours a night. Nope. We spend our nights burning wet leaves and twigs in a big bonfire because the training area needed to be tidied up. Combat shooting feels a bit unsafe when you are about to fall asleep.
In the woods. Someones ruck isn't properly camouflaged. Team is ordered to move our supply stash from point A to point B and back in the middle of night. After 20km and hundreds of kgs of equipment moved back and forth, everyone has properly camouflaged rucks.
Cleaning the barracks. A bit of cosmic dust is found undera a bed. Repeat cleaning 10 times every evening.
There's still more cosmic dust. Our room is seized because "we can't keep it clean enough". Everyone sleeps outside.
In the woods for the Nth time. Not even the rainsuit is waterproof. It's December, sleet pouring horizontally for a week and temperature is around 0C. All clothes are wet after two days. Nothing burns in the tent stove. Near the end no one bothers with the tent anymore and sleeps in wet clothes under some big spruce. Whole body hurts for a month afterwards.
>>51515894
Sama paitsi
>ole kirjuri, ilman toimistohuuhaata, väbä ainoa esimies ja hyvissä väleissä väbän, päällikön ja muiden skabujen kanssa
>älä osaallistu koskaan mihinkään vittumaiseen, tai oikeastaan yhtään mihinkään
>vietä joku 90% intistä himassa koska melkein joka päivä yövapailla viimeistään lounaan jälkeen, paitsi kerran oli jotaki pidemmälle venähtäneitä hommia ku toisen yksikön töhökirjuri tarvitsi jeesiä uusien alokkaiden matriisiin kirjaamisen kanssa.
Täs pitää tietää et A-mies joka sai iha vitusti pisteitä P-kaudelta ja päällikkö yritti pitkään ruinata aukkirukkisektorille :D, onneks oli tarpeeks halukkaita aukkii ilmanki
>>51516930
Meillä vaan porukka heitettiin aukkiin erityisemmin mielipiteit kyselemättä.
>>51517030
Meillä oli vissiin niin paljon hyviä halukkaita, että ne ei pakottanut ketään joka oli laittanu halukkuudeksi 0 (0-4 pysty laittaa). En tiedä onko kaikissa paikoissa sama systeemi.
>>51517227
En tierä. Muistan vaan että meillä sattu olemaan useita ns. "motivaatio-aukkia" käyviä herrasmiehiä. Iteltäkään ei erityisemmin kysytty halukkuutta mutta ei se mua erityisemmin haitannu. Kummiskin olis tullut vuoden nakki nii parempi vaan et pysty olla edes puolet siitä vähän fasistin.
>>51517381
Mulla sama. Vuosi oli kuitenkin tulossa enkä halunnut olla diplomiviestimies.
>>51516673
In France, they are thinking about restablishing military service... Incidentally, it's a bad sign for world peace, but it would be moreover a pain in the arse.
>>51517744
Conscription is a good thing. It brings military and common folk together, so there won't be a military elite in the country like in every country with a professional army. I see it as a way to increase stability.
>>51507033
special forces
>>51517928
Yes, but we're not in Swiss... It wouldn't be a democratic progress to reinstore it since nobody ever spoke about the suppression of the professional army. No, it would just signify that they would need cannon fodder.
>>51518095
Conscripts would only ever be used in defence against invaders, so when shit hits the fan, you'd be even more f'd if you're just civilian with no way to defend yourself. Remember, you are in Western Europe, so such a situation would be highly unlikely and normal living impossible.
>>51518436
I think they suppressed the military service because they fear the people above all.
>>51519155
That's why conscription would be a good thing. It would mean that ultimately, people had the power.
>>51519230
Ookko vittu tosissas?
>>51519297
Noh jos armeija koostuu nostoväestä niin hallituksella ei teoriassa ole tarpeeksi vahvaa ammattimaista armeijaa millä pitää kansaa polvillaan.
T: eri-homo
>>51519297
No olen. Ei tarvitse juurikaan pelätä, että johtajat alkavat täysin mielivaltaisesti sanella, miten maassa eletään, koska väkivaltakoneisto on rajallinen, eikä samoin armeija voi kaapata valtaa.
>>51519230
We had the National Guard yore, thanks to Robespierre. We severely fucked up our democratic dream ;_;
>>51519461
And now EU is going to restrict gun ownership even further. Europe is taking steps towards dictatorship.
Itehän kävin hakemassa C paperit ja lähin jenkkeihin
>>51519539
I don't think we are going to buy into this one tho.
I mean the guns they used in Paris were illegal to begin with. How the hell would this solve anything?
>be finnish
>get memed
>get shot
>>51519670
It wouldn't but remember how it went with the school shootings. Both guys had serious psychological problems so no politician even mentioned improving mental healthcare.
But I'm fairly certain that this won't pass in Finland at least. Too many people would be affected and reservists have serious power in this matter. I watched the press conference (?) about this matter and both police and shooting organisations agreed that this current system doesn't help prevent crime but is just tedious for shooters. I wouldn't be surprised if our gun laws would become more rational in the future.
>>51517928
>military elite
The military is mostly made up of the lower class anyway, so I don't think that's an issue here either.
>>51516673
Hyviä hommia
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=v425dIZaNRU
Shooting down apache
>>51520392
I read that the US army had growing difficulties of recruitment. Isn't it becoming the contrary problem ?
i did my army service (6month), and when i got an order to go to a military refresher course, i joined civil service :DDDD currently sitting on my bunk at the civil service place, obinions? :DDDDDDDDDDDDD
>>51516673
I wish our military service was as cool as this.
>>51521045
Mee huomenna Hanheen.
>>51521059
Those weren't even the cool parts. I got to play with sniper rifles, explosives, mines, anti-tank weapons and such.
>>51521132
en kyl kelannu, pitää tehdä vähän obiskelujuttuja (siis niitä jotka ei oo känninvetoa).
tääl on kyl jotain aika lystikästä porukkaa, esim. USA teki 9/11 iskut, venäjällä ei ole simputusta koska jenkkien propaganda, sivarikeskuksessa on kätkettynä aseita joita käytetään kapinan yhteydessä jne. tulee hyvä mieli että nämä hakivat pois intistä ja aseiden luota
>>51521045
Oikein toimittu. Paljonkos siellä saa päivärahaa?
>>51515344
>>51521333
viideltä päivältä n. 295e, eli ihan jees
>>51516673
Here main conscript activity is trimming grass with a shovel.
>>51521301
Menet sinne Hanheen ja vaikka puhut paskaa Staffanin kanssa.
>>51521539
We actually used our time to learn how to fight. I don't remember there being a single day we did something useless.
>>51521396
>be in estonian military
>whatever illness you get, nurse always gives diclac to rub yourself.
I wish I could've gotten some codeine pills some day :'(
>>51522095
Not much different here. They give us Mobilat for rubbing. No matter if your arm is broken or you have a fever, Mobilat is the answer.
bumb
>>51516673
>nothing burns in the stove
Wow, didn't your NCOs train you to invoke the power of valopete or something?
>Be SuperSpade (basically be the NCO of the fucking Battle-cooks)
>told to prepare foodorders for a 400 man training camp for 1 week
>go collect allergy and diet papers from the companies that will participate
>Jääkäri Quartermaster tells me there's no dietary retards in his company
>make orders
>1st day of camp, get supplies, order the kettle-bandits to make the fucking meat soup
>1h after dinner get called to the command tent
>get chewed out by leading quartermaster for not preparing alternate food for the 24 vegan/muslims in the jääkäri company
vituttaa vieläkin.
>>51530599
You should've been rewarded for starving vegans and muslims.
>>51513082
That's a Swedish volunteer, by the way. Häyhä never used a Mauser, though he was given one as a present.
>>51515782
>What are you gonna say to them?
"joo"
>>51516673
>There's still more cosmic dust. Our room is seized because "we can't keep it clean enough". Everyone sleeps outside.
>Cleaning the barracks. A bit of cosmic dust is found undera a bed. Repeat cleaning 10 times every evening.
>In the woods. Someones ruck isn't properly camouflaged. Team is ordered to move our supply stash from point A to point B and back in the middle of night. After 20km and hundreds of kgs of equipment moved back and forth, everyone has properly camouflaged rucks.
Like, what the fuck do you expect? Do you not understand that breaking you and wearing you out like this is more or less international standard doctrine? It turns lazy, unwilling boys into men that say "YES" when there's something difficult to do. It makes you prepared.
Of course your room is fucking clean, of course they're being unreasonable. They were always going to send you to sleep outside, you were going to clean your quarters before the inspecting officer even had a look.
Did you NOT expect to get woken in the middle of the night for a firing exercise, or go for a run with FULL packaging? Why would they NOT do this?
>Near the end no one bothers with the tent anymore and sleeps in wet clothes under some big spruce. Whole body hurts for a month afterwards.
You just suck at keeping dry and warm. Body hurting is natural though.
Cozy up with some Rei Ayanami for comfort.
Although, one thing is always true. It's your will versus theirs. If you don't actually want to do that, you don't need to. They're going to shout, humiliate you, some will even beat you, and they can make things hell for you and make you seem like a quitter, a loser, but that's also part of the game they play. Your will versus theirs.
I really liked the service though and couldn't really make myself quit. It's a once in a lifetime experience and everyone should go to give them some pain to go with their affluence. Change one's perspective a bit.
>51530599
>be artillery cook
>in a team of 11
>feeding half a company since everyone gave up months before
>camps are mostly just fucking about, surfing the internet, etc since there's way too many of us for such a small amount of mouths
>no superspade since they all gave up during training
>get assigned toimistohuuhaa and täydennysupseerikokelas / whatever to watch the entire supply section
>CO is a sergeant from Utti
>alik. sturmbannführer feat. eternal fish smell because she never washed her vagina gets to babysit the medics 24/7
>kok. doesn't believe in hierarchical command structure, always has us vote if we want to do any combat training etc in spare time during camps (spoiler: we never do)
>CO is too busy herding the drivers to subject us to the operator urban combat specops courses he tries to teach us at the barracks
>literally just eating half a company's worth of extra Suffelis, Jacky's and sausages for the entire Rovajärvi and loppusota. Sauna or shower three times a week, unlimited phone charging from field kitchens, barely any night guard shit since alik. sturmbannführer always volunteers the medics for the job
can't say I learned much but it was pretty enjoyable
>>51531522
>>51530599
Of course I had to fuck up the quote.
>>51531402
>even beat you
Best way to get fucked up in court here. None of them have the balls to touch a hair on a conscript's head anymore,apart from places like special border jaegers.
>>51531643
i was border jaeger
but a little push and shove isn't out of question, and of course you're entirely right, which is why it's really your will against theirs should you be dissatisfied.
Men usually like the macho(masochistic?) aspect of it, and will stick with it.
>>51531522
Eh, might as well jump on the food-related bandwagon
>Lohtaja, NCO school end war
>radar and command lads (a dozen or so) get to eat spadefood
>cablearses, missile boys and other assorted subhumans have to cook their own food
>belong to the former group
>go get some grub after training
>notice that there is actually food for the whole battery
>including desserts and other treats
>find out that the incompetent office huuhaa fucked up the food orders, ordering merely ten times the required amount
>spend rest of the week hauling battle pudding, hamburgers and similar to the tent in hundreds while the bitter eyes of the signalists follow us from the woods
Hyvii hommii.
What color is spurdo's dress ?
