>be me, a Portuguese man visiting England
>it's cloudy and rainy outside, but my atlantic genes make this a non issue
>returning home after a day of visiting museums and shit
>I see a horse drawn carriage
>it's Queen Elizabeth II herself
>all of a sudden the royal carriage is surrounded by 50 muslims
>the guards drop their weapons and apologize for being evil white oppressors
>the leader of the muslims, Sheikh Suleiman Al-Britani, grabs the queen and pulls her of the carriage
>he declares his intention of raping the queen
>at this point the guards have already fled the scene and it's up to me to stop this
>I draw my Carrack Black Sword, the best kind of sword ever forged, and charge the muslims
>after a quick battle all 50 muslims are dead
>"how can I thank you for saving me José?" says the queen
>"no need to thank me your Majesty, just doing my duty as a portuguese man"
>all of a sudden a blinding white light pierces the clouds
>after my eyes adjust to the light I see that the light is infact a window to heaven
>Henry the Navigator nods approvingly from heaven
>a single tear rolls down my face and I say "esta é a ditosa pátria minha amada"
Is this another tale from The Adventures of Alberto Barbosa?
>>51143840
>it's cloudy and rainy outside, but my atlantic genes make this a non issue
Nigga, England is baby tier compared to northern Spain.
>>51143840
t. alberto barbosa
>be me, a finnish man visiting England
>it's cloudy and rainy outside, but the spirit of winter war in my genes make this a non issue
>returning home after a day of visiting pubs and shit
>I see a horse drawn carriage
>it's Queen Elizabeth II herself
>all of a sudden the royal carriage is surrounded by 50 muslims
>the guards drop their weapons and apologize for being evil white oppressors
>the leader of the muslims, Sheikh Suleiman Al-Britani, grabs the queen and pulls her of the carriage
>he declares his intention of raping the queen
>at this point the guards have already fled the scene and it's up to me to stop this
>I draw my trusty swedish mora, the cheapest kind of knife, and charge the muslims
>after a quick battle all 50 muslims are dead
>"how can I thank you for saving me Pekka?" says the queen
>"no need to thank me your Majesty, just doing my duty as a finnish man"
>all of a sudden a blinding white light pierces the clouds
>after my eyes adjust to the light I see that the light isn't infact a window to heaven
>Its the bald head of U.K. Kekkonen reflecting sunshines on my face
>a single tear rolls down my face and I say "Ei vittu taas :D"
>>51144094
pig related :D
>be me, a romanian man visiting England
>it's cloudy and rainy outside, but the living so much in dirt in my genes make this a non issue
>returning home after a day of visiting wigwams and shit
>I see a horse drawn carriage
>it's Queen Elizabeth II herself
>all of a sudden the royal carriage is surrounded by 50 muslims
>the guards drop their weapons and apologize for being evil white oppressors
>the leader of the muslims, Sheikh Suleiman Al-Britani, grabs the queen and pulls her of the carriage
>he declares his intention of raping the queen
>at this point the guards have already fled the scene and it's up to me to stop this
>I draw my trusty wallet, the best one I've stol.. found, and charge the muslims
>after a quick battle all 50 muslims are filled with mamaliga and rolled cabages
>"how can I thank you for saving me Popescu?" says the queen
>"no need to thank me your Majesty, just doing my duty as a romanian man"
>all of a sudden a blinding white light pierces the clouds
>after my eyes adjust to the light I see that the light isn't infact a window to heaven
>Its the trianon treaty reflecting sunshines on my face
>a single tear rolls down my face and I say "bozgor"
>>51143840
Portugal, you are truely our oldest and greatest ally
"A leftist muslim rapist ISIS recruiter professor and bomb maker was teaching a class on Muhammed, prophet of Islam.
”Before the class begins, you must get on your knees and worship Allah and accept that Muhammed is right and Jesus is wrong!!”
At this moment, a brave, patriotic, christian portuguese man who had a great mustache and understood the necessity of christianity and agreed with every decision made by the Holy See stood up and held up a picture of a navigator.
“Who is this navigator, moor?”
The arrogant professor smirked quite Islamically and smugly replied “Ahmed Muhiddin Piri, better known as Piri Reis, you stupid Christian”
“Wrong. It’s Vasco da Gama. If muslims are so great, as you say, then why did the Portuguese discover the route to India before you turks?”
The professor was visibly shaken, and dropped his chalk and copy of the Quran.
“W-Who are you?!” The professor shouted
“my name is Alberto Barbosa, defender of justice and all Christian people.”
The professor stormed out of the room crying those leftist crocodile tears. The same tears lleftists cry for the “opressed” minorities (who today live in such luxury that most own refrigerators) when they jealously try to claw justly earned wealth from the deserving whites. There is no doubt that at this point our professor, Sheikh Suleiman Al-Britani, wished he had pulled himself up by his bootstraps and become more than a leftist muslim professor.
The students applauded and all accepted Jesus as their lord and savior. Fernando Pessoa flew into the room and read "Mensagem". The Lusiads were read several times, and Dom Afonso Henriques himself showed up and showed the students how to slay the moor.
The professor was stabbed to death by Alberto and was tossed into the lake of fire for all eternity.
“Esta é a ditosa pátria minha amada” t. Alberto Barbosa"
>>51143840
Based bro. Let the imperial race live on
>>51144744
>Carrack Black Sword,
obrigado não conhecia esta maravilha
>>51143840
>be me, a Dutch man visiting England
>it's cloudy and rainy outside, but my Dutch genes make this a non issue
>returning home after a day of not finishing huge unfoamy pints and shit
>I see a horse drawn carriage
>it's Queen Elizabeth II herself
>all of a sudden the royal carriage is surrounded by 50 muslims
>the guards drop their weapons and apologize for being evil white oppressors
>the leader of the muslims, Sheikh Suleiman Al-Britani, grabs the queen and pulls her of the carriage
>he declares his intention of raping the queen
>at this point the guards have already fled the scene and it's up to me to stop this
>I draw my Vespa Ciao and charge the muslims
>after a quick battle all 50 muslims are dead
>"how can I thank you for saving me Jan-Peter?" says the queen
>"no need to thank me your Majesty, just doing my duty as a Dutch man"
>all of a sudden a blinding white light pierces the clouds
>after my eyes adjust to the light I see that the light is infact a window to heaven
>Michiel de Ruyter nods approvingly from heaven
>a single tear rolls down my face and I say "het is allemaal de schuld van de Rabobank"
>>51144744
>christian portuguese man who had a great mustache
You sure it wasn't his wife?
>>51146956
>[
Inferior slav....
http://www.arscives.com/bladesign/history.htm#6
>>51147081
One comment and the butthurt is already flowing
>>51143840
>Horse drawn carriage
>Mfw a portugese friend told me there are gypsies riding stage coaches on the highway in Portugal
is it true?
>>51147245
i've actually seen that once in my life and it wasn't on the highway
>>51147245
Personally I never seen one, but I wouldn't put it past them.
Normally they either use buses or vans to move around.
Portugal I...
>be me, a Russian man visiting England
>it's cloudy and rainy outside, but my siberian genes make this a non issue
>returning home after a day of spying for KGB and shit
>I see a horse drawn carriage
>it's Queen Elizabeth II herself
>all of a sudden the royal carriage is surrounded by 50 muslims
>the guards drop their weapons and apologize for being evil white oppressors
>the leader of the muslims, Sheikh Suleiman Al-Britani, grabs the queen and pulls her of the carriage
>he declares his intention of raping the queen
>at this point the guards have already fled the scene and it's up to me to stop this
>I draw my Kalashnikov assault rifle, the best kind of rifle ever forged, and charge the muslims
>after a quick battle all 50 muslims are dead
>"how can I thank you for saving me Dmitry?" says the queen
>"no need to thank me you perfidious anglo cunt, just wanted to kill you myself as a russian man"
>shoot her
>all of a sudden a blinding white light pierces the clouds
>after my eyes adjust to the light I see that the light is infact a window to heaven
>Peter the Great nods approvingly from heaven
>a single tear rolls down my face and I say "cyka blyat"
>>51143840
Don't steal my pasta you faggot :3
>Be me
>Get shot
>End of story
Can we have more pastas? :D
>Be spaniard, living in spain
>Oh good heavens, look at the time!
2h late for siesta, see y'all in 2h lads.
>>51143840
Sheikh just wanted to lose his virginity, man
Maybe he would stop shitposting on the Syria War general if he got laid
>>51147245
not on the highways, this is impossible, but yes they do it on normal roads.
>be me, a Scotsman visiting England
>it's cloudy and rainy outside, but my Highland genes make this a non issue
>returning home after a day of visiting museums and shit
>I see a horse drawn carriage
>it's Queen Elizabeth II herself
>all of a sudden the royal carriage is surrounded by 50 muslims
>the guards drop their weapons and apologize for being evil white oppressors
>the leader of the muslims, Sheikh Suleiman Al-Britani, grabs the queen and pulls her of the carriage
>he declares his intention of raping the queen
>at this point the guards have already fled the scene and it's up to me to stop this
>I draw my sgian-dubh, one of the finest weapons crafted by the finest people in the British Isles charge the muslims
>after a quick battle all 50 muslims are dead
>"how can I thank you for saving me Angus?" says the queen
>"no need to thank me your Majesty, I wanted to do the deed myself"
>I shank the English scum in the belly
>all of a sudden a blinding white light pierces the clouds
>after my eyes adjust to the light I see that the light is infact a window to heaven
>William Wallace nods approvingly from heaven
>a single tear rolls down my face and I say "Scotland Forever"
>>be me, a Brazilian man visiting England
>>it's cloudy and rainy outside, and my tropical, mixed genes make me shiver and sneeze
>>returning home after a night clubbing and grinding on some brittish slags and shit
>>I see a horse drawn carriage
>>it's Queen Elizabeth II herself
>>all of a sudden the royal carriage is surrounded by 50 muslims
>>the guards drop their weapons and apologize for being evil white oppressors
>>the leader of the muslims, Sheikh Suleiman Al-Britani, grabs the queen and pulls her of the carriage
>>he declares his intention of raping the queen
>>at this point the guards have already fled the scene and it's up to me to stop this
>>I draw my illegally bought .38 revolver, this superior weapon can kill every single Zé Buceta in the face of God's green Earth
>>after a quick battle all 50 muslims are dead with a mere 6 shots
>>"how can I thank you for saving me Joségildisson Jr.?" says the queen
>>"Please write a legally valid certification of whiteness for me, your majesty"
>>all of a sudden a blinding white light pierces the clouds
>>after my eyes adjust to the light I see that the light is infact a window to heaven
>>D. Pedro II calls me a nigger from heaven
>>a single tear rolls down my face and I say "O sul é o meu país, eu sou 1/16 puro sangue germânico, eu sou do primeiro mundo..."
>>51156682
>Joségildisson Jr.
>O sul é o meu país, eu sou 1/16 puro sangue germânico, eu sou do primeiro mundo...
10/10
>>51143840
best ally
Someone make Sweden pls.
>>51156682
>be me, a Brazilian man visiting England
We did this one already:
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Death_of_Jean_Charles_de_Menezes
>be me, a polish man visiting England
>it's cloudy and rainy outside, but the winged hussar in my genes make this a non issue
>returning home after a day of visiting pubs and shit
>I see a horse drawn carriage
>it's Queen Elizabeth II herself
>all of a sudden the royal carriage is surrounded by 50 muslims
>the guards drop their weapons and apologize for being evil white oppressors
>the leader of the muslims, Sheikh Suleiman Al-Britani, grabs the queen and pulls her of the carriage
>he declares his intention of raping the queen
>at this point the guards have already fled the scene and it's up to me to stop this
>I draw my trusty wings, horse and spear, and charge the muslims
>after a quick battle all 50 muslims are dead
>"how can I thank you for saving me Janusz?" says the queen
>"no need to thank me your Majesty, just give zasiłkis to my children in warsaw"
>all of a sudden a blinding white light pierces the clouds
>after my eyes adjust to the light I see that the light is infact a window to heaven
>Józef Piłsudski nods approvingly from heaven
>a single tear rolls down my face and I say "Kurwa chuj ja pierdole 1939 worst day of my life"
>>51143840
>Henry the Navigator nods approvingly from heaven
>>51158253
>Kurwa chuj ja pierdole 1939 worst day of my life
my fucking sides
Everyone that wish banter butthurt the porgayens come to /luso/ in our thread they try to be funny and banter the Brazilians everytime we ignore for piety but they are out off control pleasse put they in the place. >>51153352
>portugal
>>51143840
>>be me, an Italian man visiting England
>>it's cloudy and rainy outside, and my mediterranean genes make me wonder why i crossed the alps
>>returning home after a day of keking the British
>>I see a horse drawn carriage
>>it's Queen Elizabeth II herself
>>all of a sudden the royal carriage is surrounded by 50 muslims
>>the guards drop their weapons and apologize for being evil white oppressors
>>the leader of the muslims, Sheikh Suleiman Al-Britani, grabs the queen and pulls her of the carriage
>>he declares his intention of raping the queen
>>at this point the guards have already fled the scene and it's up to me to stop this
>>I draw my Gladius and scutum and charge the muslims
>>wonder why i have to die for la perfida albione
>>instant convert to Islam and wait for my turn for banging the queen
>>all of a sudden a blinding white light pierces the clouds
>>after my eyes adjust to the light I see that the light is infact a window to heaven
>>Benito Mussolini nods approvingly from heaven
>>a single tear rolls down my face and I say "SANZIONAMI QUESTO ALBIONE RAPACE, LO SO CHE TI PIACE E IO TE NE DO!!"
>>51159029
>Benito Mussolini approves of conversion to islam
top cruck tbqh
>>51161765
of course he is the protector of islam
Is Poortugal the best poster in /int/ right now?
>poortugal
