It is SEPTEMBER 30TH, the day before 4chan's birthday. Mandated lurking day is off, despite it not being enforced any more these days. That is the day most children look forward to, but the night is what ALL children are excited about. Tomorrow night is the much anticipated BIRTHDAY FESTIVAL.
Before we can begin our little game:
Are you a BOY or a GIRL?
(All command prompts must be in greentext. Commands are first come first serve.)
>Girl
>>456033
You are a little girl, age of 8.
It is 6:30 AM, you waken to your fathers' call downstairs.
He is most likely going to bribe you into actually going to school today.
>>456041
>Rub your eyes a bunch to make them red, and pretend you're sick. Fuck school, yo.
>>456043
You rubbed your eyes until they turn red and sore-like as you heard footsteps come closer to your room. Your father leans in at your door.
"Hey, I told you to come downstairs for breakfa-"
"..."
".. Are you okay? Your eyes are red.."
>>456051
>Pretend cough. Make your father worry.
>>456054
You gave a pretty believable pretend cough. Success! He looks very worried.
"Ah, you caught something, huh?"
"And on the day before the festival too..."
"... But you don't feel warm or feverish."
He's going to start doubting you. Quick. make it believable!
>>456080
Forced projectile vomiting
>lose 6-0
>>456080
>Get your first period.
>>456082
Well, your attempt at being sick didn't work. This is the 6th time you lost to him.
"..."
"You weren't really sick, were you?"
"..."
"Get dressed and come see me downstairs."
He left, but he didn't sound too happy about you pretending to be sick.
>>456095
>tell him I'm not coming down and to suck a chode.
>>456097
>I'M NOT COMING DOWN
>GO SUCK A CHODE!!
"You have FIVE MINUTES before I come up and drag you down the stairs~! "
>>456099
>Go back to the room and strip down to your underwear and head down stairs. Tell your father that he should know that a lady needs more than 5 minutes to get ready.
>>456101
"OKAY FINE!"
"YOU HAVE -10 MINUTES- TO GET DRESSED NOW GO!"
Is 10 minutes enough time for you?
>No
>>456102
Put on clothes like your father asked. Make sure you bring your magic eight ball for those tough decisions and fill your left pocket with sand. All of this is completely logical, and is part of how any normal child prepares for school.
>>456107
"Fine! 15 minutes and no more than that!"
Okay, time to pick out something decent to wear so your dad won't end up bringing out the wooden spoon on you.
(Draw an outfit, of course.)
>>456114
Kill la kill outfit to look cool at school
>>456113
>Get dressed and hear the man out. He hasn't exactly said anything about school yet.
>>456114
>Look as edgy as possible
>>456116
>>456117
You reach down the stairs, clothed this time. Your father sits at the table with the kitchen lit up behind him.
"Oh, there you are-"
"..."
"Aren't you a little young to enter the edgy phase?"
"..."
"Nevermind, just take a seat."
This seems serious.
>>456125
>Sit down
I masturbate furiously.
>>456128
"SO."
"I know how adamant you are about avoiding school."
"But I think I have an offer you can't refuse. Hear me out on this."
>>456131
>Sigh and fold your arms, then lean back and hear what Dad has to say.
>>456132
"Alright, I got your attention. Good."
"Now, I'm sure you're sick of hearing about school this, school that."
"But you can't stay home forever. You'll eventually need to go out and explore."
"And I think school is perfect for that."
Your father brought up a box from under the table, and set it on the surface.
"I offer not only an allowance for this year's Birthday Festival."
"I will offer an allowance of 2,500 INTERNETS for the festival EVERY year."
"And in addition of the internets offer. I will offer this expensive, delicate item that is in this box."
"Go on, take a peak."
>>456140
>Tug on the front of your shirt and ask if Repentless is in the box
>>456140
Inside the box is the last trollface in existence
>>456140
Is an old banhammer.
You through he had disposed of it after getting the shiny golden one...
>>456140
>The Ancient Banhammer of WT Snacks lies inside.
>>456142
He starting to look nervous.
"... You.."
".. Y-you can find out if you agree to attend school."
"For now on."
>>456269
>Blow out hot air out of your nose. You could buy the album from a more reliable source, anyways.
>>456269
>Stare directly at him
>This is a goddamn trap and you know it, better pressure him.
>... No but seriously, what benefits will this bring to me if, hypothetically, I accept to go back to school right now?
