>Wake up tomorrow
>You're Philip II
What do?
Fuck Queen Mary until she got pregnant.
>>880159
deus vult!
>>880159
Stop giving all my gold to the pope and subtly try to undermine the church within Spain
beg the Jews to come back and take care of my empire's finances
encourage free enterprise in the Americas by reducing taxes and selling land and mining claims, hopefully triggering a gold rush
outlaw the slave trade and send over convicts, heretics, and the Dutch to work in the colonies instead
request that missionaries record indigenous cultural practices and history to the best of their ability, particularly how to decipher Inca quipu
>>880159
Catholicize England and sodomize Elizabeth.
![800px-Filip_II_Macedonia[1].jpg](https://i.imgur.com/XwWFmsi.jpg "800px-Filip_II_Macedonia[1].jpg")
Can I be this Philip II instead?
Murder all of the Dutch.
>>880159
>Release Portugal
>Give them South America
>kill myself after killing all my family
cabrão do caralho
Party like it's the reign of Philip II
>>880159
>Knock up Mary Tudor
>Convert to a protestantish nationalized Christianity
>Bring in Dutch and English bankers to fix finances
>reform colonies, limit slavery and treat natives better
>Spend gold on infrastructure
>Stay out of german affairs
>Knock up my Valois bitch to give me a son and possible contender to the french throne
>Try to have less retarded inbred kids for the house, ban first cousin marriage
>take Mary Stewart up on marrying a habsburg
>Slap moors shit
>>880329
You can't reduce taxes when half the empire is tax exempt
>>880553
This. Church own a third of the land in Spain.
>>880462
He was good to the natives, but the nobles didn't care
>>880563
Most Kings were good to them, but try enforcing laws in a jungle on the other side of the world.
>>880553
I only know about 16th century Mexico, and they had some egregious taxes there.
I guess I could also try inventing central banking to control inflation but I barely understand it as it is. Oh also eliminate the practice of selling titles of nobility to commoners in order to increase the tax base.
>>880159
Fuck his daughter Catherine Michelle.
>>880674
Margaret Theresa is based Habsboo
>Fuck Mary till my dick hurts and my nutsack feels numb
>turn the empire into a union of Spain, Portugal, Mexico, Brazil, Peru and Colombia
>stop messing with the dutch, proties and central europe afairs
>fuck the church (slowly and cautiously)
>Invade China as planned
>>880329
Kill yourself
>>880462
You kill yourself too
>>880713
kill yourself
>>880433
t. Alberto Barbossa
>>880733
>>880737
>>880743
>>880733
Spain wasted literally billions of pesos on endless and futile wars for the Pope and the Hapsburgs. They arrogantly held to their medieval crusader world view and upheld Castilian Catholicism as the ultimate truth, paralyzing the development of humanism and mercantilism that could have vastly improved Spanish society.
>>880159
>Reduce the power of the Church and increase the Crown one.
>Send the Moriscos to America for increase workforce with immunities to diseases.
>Dutch grant freedom of worship (no fucking Eighty Years' War).
>Support Catholics in the British Isles to lay the groundwork of the future invasion, invade and conquer England with the help of English Catholics and Irish.
>Invade China from the South and conquer the main producing areas of silk and porcelain.
Declare war on China, as it was planned.
Fabricate claims on Portugal
Spend some mana in research
>>880159
Try to keep the Low Countries in by giving them freedom of religion and Lower taxes, allowing me to Beat France
Give burgundy to france, the netherlands to themselves as a state of the HRE under the condition that they reunite. Concentrate on making something good of south and central america, without africans, uniting spain durably, and reconquesting maghreb.
>>880159
Open public school system.
Teach everyone Castillian.
completely distance myself from the other habsburgs
begin purging the traditional royal families, placing loyal subjects who also deserve land land and titles
begin selling land in the New World to begin an influx of immigration from spain to the New World
get rid of feudalism
have a clear line of succession
>>883563
noble houses*, not royal families, lol
>>881442
Don't forget to invest in naval ideas
>>880329
>Ban usury.
>Fuck the living shit out of Mary.
>Make sure the Prince of Asturias doesn't go stark raving mad
>Go back to banning first, second, third, to seventh cousin marriages within the dynasty
>Make sure not to lose the Netherlands
>Get more control in the Americas
>Expand the colonial possessions in the East
>>880159
fuck angelina jolie while waiting for her to poison me
>>880178
10/10 would Dynasty build with
Probably just off myself desu. Look at that chin.
>>880254
Hahahaha didnt realy work
Ruled Portugal
1. Knock up Mary of England and hope for a girl.
2. Wait for weak inbred Habsburg genes to kill off sons and make Daughter heir.
3. Have that girl marry the King of France.
4. Motherfucking West Rome has returned.
5. Precede to teach my grandkids to slap the shit out of everyone.
>>883182
Depends on the timing, though.
After the revolt in Flanders, just pull out from there and make a strategic deal with France by giving them the burgundian realm south of Luxembourg and have the Low Countries proper be a sort of joint condominium, once protestant rebel has been removed from that clay with french military cooperation.
>>880159
Attack England earlier, so that Alvaro de Bazan can be the Admiral of the Fleet. Also, have the Tercios already embarked in Spain and go straight to England and then brutally into Queen Lizzy's bedroom, instead of having to coordinate and embark the fleet ships in Gravelines.
>>880159
shitpost
1- Give freedom of religion to other Christians. They are heretics, but they are powerful heretics.
2- Create an education system where the sons of nobles and the brightest commoners (selected by standard exams) will learn Greek philosophy (Stoicism), science, military tactics, and administration. Give noble status to the brightest students.
3- Remember Hadrian. No aggressiveness in Europe (other than Portugal). The lands of the Habsburgs are vast and conquering more will not be good. Build a wall and fortifications in the frontiers. Focus on quality rather than quantity in the walls.
4- Overall low taxes (wars will be mostly defensive) and some degree of Independence to the realms. Choose governors (who will have term limits) along with the high nobles. They would have some to follow the overall Habsburg strategy, but have some independence.
5- The place where soldiers can get glory and experience is the new World and Asia. After a decade of service on those places, conquering and bringing riches to the Habsburg realm, they could go back to Europe.
>>886422
Nigga how you gonna build walls with this shit?
>>886422
>Give noble status to the brightest students.
You are now aware that universitaries have been considered nobles in Spain since the Middle Ages
>>886422
>give noble status to the brightest students
by the end of the 16th century 1 in 4 Spanish men were ennobled and exempted from taxes. You'd need fewer hidalgos, not more.
>>886728
Those are the lands of Charles V and his brother. Phillip II had less lands in Europe.
In the case of Spain and France, this could become easier due to the Pyrenees. The Netherlands are not that big. In Italy, we could build a wall alongside the Papacy and some other neighbors. The same with the Conte.
>>886728
>This monstrosity actually existed at some point in history,
fucking why
>>886774
Its still shitty early modern enclaved-as-fuck borders.
>>886799
Frederick III and Maximilian I were smart men.
>>886799
>>This monstrosity actually existed at some point in history,
>fucking why
For Glory ....
>>886800
We would make a good wall, with the best technology.
>And have the French King pay for it.
>>886815
Make Christendom great again!
>>880159
Realise that I am a Fucking Hasburg and Murder The whole Royal Family including myself to Spare Europe from the Eternal Austrian
>>886806
>forging a dynastic alliance with a monarch at the edge of Europe, with the biggest power in Europe separating your two realms.
The alliance with Spain made no fucking sense, the Habsurgs should have left Spain alone (though still keep them as allies) instead of the uncontrollable blobbing they did.
They should have focused on Germany and Italy, in hindsight this could have solved them a lot of of conflicts.
>>886842
It was all an accident. Max married the Burgundian hieress and tried to get an anti-France alliance with Spain. If Mary the Rich didn't marry Max the Hapsburg would have continued their North Italy, Bohemia-hungary patter of marriage alliances.
>>886842
Spain was the biggest power in Europe, by the end of the reign of the Catholic Monarchs. Most of Italy was part of Aragon...
Getting the Spanish throne was the greatest achievement of the Habsburgs, even if the title of Holy Roman Emperor had more prestige.
>>880649
Imposing laws, you mean.
>>880159
Use America's gold to bribe the whole byzantine merchants and thinkers to settle on Spain. Stop listening the pope, bastard who gave nothing in exchange for the wars.
>>880433
Portufail
>>880254
>>880402
>>880329
>>886842
Italy was from Spanish conquest
>>887008
>>887008
this
>>886842
Spain was the big fish, not Austria, and Fernando de Aragon the one pulling the strings, not the Archduke of Austria.
Everything was the result of the wars with France for the question of Naples.
Fernando forged a anti-french bloc via marrying his offspring with Portugal, Burgundy-Habsburg and England. And then the shitfeast began one day when Juana, 3rd in line of succesion and married to Phillip of Burgundy, accidentally happened to be the heir of Castille and Aragon, because the 1st in line, Juan, married with the princess of Portugal, and the 2nd in line both died in a short span of time.
Then Isabel died in 1506, but Fernando, considering that Juana had mental episodes and Phillip was a bastard piece of shit wasn't going to let Castille fall into the hands of the shitlord, so he cucked them both and Cardinal Cisneros acted as regent of Castille once the shitlord died too, which fortunately happened soon enough as well, and Juana remained cucked. However, most unfortunately, she had been preggoed by the bastard shitlord and thus that baby, Carlos I, was now the rightful heir of Castille, Aragon and the Burgundian-Habsburg realm.
All by pure fucking accident, because muh Naples and muh anti-french bloc policy because of muh Naples rightful aragonese clay.
>>880863
>humanism
End yourself
>>883723
But those eyes and lips
>>883707
She looks very cute in her youth portrait
>>888762
Phil didn't get her when she was young tho.
>>880900
>moriscos breed like mad
>2016
>islamic state in the americas
;)
>>884693
France gets embroiled in religious civil war from 1560s to 1598 so that wouldn't work out
Stop wearing black clothes so that in 500 years I won't be seen as an edgelord or fucking Blackadder
>All this hate for the Dutch master race
5 - 1
-
1
Genocide the flat jews.
>>886422
>No aggressiveness in Europe (other than Portugal)
nigga phillip ii wasn't agressive against portugal at all. the people and the nobles loved him.
Ruin the country because I don't know the first thing about being a king
>>890601
I believe in you anon.
>>881368
>losing the Philippines
>16th Spain and Portugal with a huge fleet and professional soldiers
Have fun China losing all the control with his coast
>>893653
You forget to say Ming dynasty decadence with a corrupt army
>>893669
>>893653
>Phillip invades China
>Wins some great victories, occupies some coastal areas, or alternatively, a part of the north and south and its hinterland.
>Can't conquer all of China because the expenses of raising armies, fleets, and troop maintenance
>huge cultural gaps, no translations, bureaucrats basically suicide themselves or flee to safe territory
>Ming defeat either leads to dynasty's collapse or rise of new dynasty
>either way, the defeat at the hand of unknown barbarians is a huge incentive to reform
>adopt barbarian tactics, weapons, production methods
>expel barbarians, or at least fight them to a stand still.
>perhaps forced to concede early on that Chinese civilization is not superior
>must from now on keep contact with European powers and China industrializes at the same time as Euros
>gg China rules the world
Convert to Calvinism.
"This isn't a phase mom"
i turn the country atheist and start researching rocketry
>>893755
>Chinaboos actually believe this
Subhuman chinks get eradicated
>>893776
*tips*
>>893755
But the superior indoeuropean man will always rule this world.
>wake up tomorrow
>you're charles ii
What do?
>>893755
>either way, the defeat at the hand of unknown barbarians is a huge incentive to reform
>adopt barbarian tactics, weapons, production methods
>expel barbarians, or at least fight them to a stand still.
>perhaps forced to concede early on that Chinese civilization is not superior
>must from now on keep contact with European powers and China industrializes at the same time as Euros
>gg China rules the world
Sorry Chang, history does not work that way, china is not Japan and never will be.
>>893814
Be an average ruler like irl
>muh incest meme
>yfw inbred Habsburg freaks are better at ruling than 90% of democratically elected politicians
>>893755
>adopt barbarian tactics, weapons, production methods
China was getting fucked in its ass and the aristocracy still thought firearms were barbarian toys.
>>893814
Give my whole empire to the Holy Roman Emperor.
>>893852
>Spain rekts chinks
>Kills all of them to allow proper colonization
>>893850
what I'm saying is a shattering defeat by the Spaniards would have forced the Ming to adapt whether they liked it or not. The Chinese basically did the same thing in the form of "self strengthening" in the 19th century, though it was an utter failure. btw Chinese knew what firearms were.
Also, another point to add is that the inflation caused the Spanish silver flooding the European market would have fucked the continent up had China not "absorbed" all of the New World silver in the 16th and 17th centuries when it coincidentally switched to silver coinage at the time. An invasion of China might well have caused economic collapse in Europe, then.
>>893854
Nope. There were close to 200 million Chinese and unlike the Native Americans they had immunity to the diseases of Eurasia so there wouldn't have been a mass extinction. You're vastly underestimating the Chinese at this time desu
>>893863
>200 million chinks put to the sword
>>893858
Invading China would dumb on the Spanish part, but crippling their arm forces and gaining a monopoly on exports would have been dandy and kept China stunted in its Confucianist conservative arrogance.
>All this talk about Spain invading China.
Fucking Flip here. Spic Cunts in the Philippines were having humongous problems versus Chinese/Japanese pirates alone during the glory days of the Spanish Empire.
What makes you niggers think Spics have a shot at China?
Hell the Muslim Southern Philippines managed to survived not because they were great fighters but because
1) Toyotomi threatened to invade the Philippines to stop Catholic Missionaries (1580's or so). Didn't happen because he sicced his Samurai to Korea instead.
2) Koxinga threatened to invade the Philippines (1640's) and use it as a base for loyalists to recapture China. Didn't happen as Kox died of Malaria in Taiwan.
Both instances had the Spics crapping their collective pants and pulling out of Muslim SEA to defend the holdings they already had.
>>893864
kek, there's a reason the Europeans didn't want to annex China between themselves in the early 20th century when the Boxer Rebellion gave them the opportunity. They realized it was just too enormous a population to rule and preferred to keep it in the hands of a week puppet government. Phillip would have realized the same if he somehow defeated the Chinese.
>>893814
Build a gym, star lifting, eat healthy foods, it can significantly prolong my life.
Invent the steam engine.
>>894074
18+ site anon
Kill yourself
>>894074
Good luck making one that's anything more than a novelty.
>>894074
Jerónimo de Ayanz y Beaumont is mad at you for stealing his idea.
