ITT: Top bants throughout history
>>1415102
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Mm0yQg1hS_w
mad bants or pitiful autism?
>>1415297
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lQE2amAs2-U
live version
It had to be said. Was poor politics though.
https://youtu.be/kakFDUeoJKM
4th Crusader fampai.
Nice bant selection OP. My personal favorite is when Britain is doomed to taxation without representation via Krauts.
>>1415297
Pure autism
>>1415297
Speaking of autism, "We will bury you" is apparently a Russian figure of speech meaning something like "you're going to get yourself killed" and used as a warning against reckless behaviour. Khruschev was unaware of it's menacing connotations in English.
>>1417616
It isn't. It was just a mistranslation.
>>1415102
>Egyptian army led by Ibrahim Pasha (Mohammad Ali's son) completely destroyed Abdullah's forces and took their capital, Diriyah in Najd. Abdullah bin Saud was captured along with two of his Wahhabi supporters. They were then sent to prison in Constantinople. Abdullah and his two followers were publicly beheaded for their crimes against holy cities and mosques.[1] Prior to his execution, bin Saud, a Wahhabi who was forbidden to listen to music, was forced to listen to the lute.[2]
>>1415297
Is that Mike Rowe?
>>1417643
>NO NOT THE LUTE- AAAAAAGH
You thought that was bad, effendi? Try this one *lute solo*
>Spasms on the floor frothing.
>>1415102
>In the early 13th century, the Khwarazmian dynasty was governed by Shah Ala ad-Din Muhammad. Genghis Khan saw the potential advantage in Khwarezmia as a commercial trading partner using the Silk Road, and he initially sent a 500-man caravan to establish official trade ties with the empire.
>However, Inalchuq, the governor of the Khwarezmian city of Otrar, attacked the caravan that came from Mongolia, claiming that the caravan contained spies and therefore was a conspiracy against Khwarezmia. The situation became further complicated because the governor later refused to make repayments for the looting of the caravans and handing over the perpetrators.
>Genghis Khan then sent again a second group of three ambassadors (two Mongols and a Muslim) to meet the Shah himself instead of the governor Inalchuq. The Shah had all the men shaved and the Muslim beheaded and sent his head back with the two remaining ambassadors. This was seen as an affront and insult to Genghis Khan. Outraged, Genghis Khan planned one of his largest invasion campaigns by organizing together around 100,000 soldiers (10 tumens), his most capable generals and some of his sons.
>The Mongols' conquest, even by their own standards, was brutal. After the capital Samarkand fell, the capital was moved to Bukhara by the remaining men, while Genghis Khan ordered two of his generals and their forces to completely destroy the remnants of the Khwarezmid Empire, including not only royal buildings, but entire towns, populations, and even vast swaths of farmland. According to legend, Genghis Khan even went so far as to divert a river through the Khwarezmid emperor's birthplace, erasing it from the map.
>The Persian scholar Juvayni states that 50,000 Mongol soldiers were given the task of executing twenty-four Urgench citizens each, which would mean that 1.2 million people were killed. The sacking of Urgench is considered one of the bloodiest massacres in human history.
>>1416715
>butthurt colonial scum
>>1417641
My story's better
>I have seen their backs before, madam.
>This is attributed to Wellington as a statement to an unidentified woman at a reception in Vienna, who had apologized for the rudeness of some French officers who had turned their backs on him when he entered, as quoted in Bartlett's Book of Anecdotes (2000), edited by Clifton Fadiman and André Bernard, p. 568
Gerry Adams presenting the detonator to Prince Charles which was used to kill his uncle
>>1415102
'At Prague Castle on May 23, 1618, an assembly of Protestants, led by Count Thurn, tried two Imperial governors, Vilem Slavata of Chlum and Jaroslav Borzita of Martinice, for violating the Letter of Majesty (Right of Freedom of Religion), found them guilty, and threw them, together with their scribe Philip Fabricius, out of the windows of the Bohemian Chancellery. They fell 30 metres and landed on a large pile of manure in a dry moat and survived. Philip Fabricius was later ennobled by the emperor and granted the title von Hohenfall (lit. meaning "of Highfall").
Roman Catholic Imperial officials claimed that the three men survived due to the mercy of angels assisting the righteousness of the Catholic cause. Protestant pamphleteers asserted that their survival had more to do with the horse excrement in which they landed.'
>>1417785
Gerry is a top lad
>>1417696
wew lad
Mahmud al-Kashgari describes the conquest of the Buddhist kingdom of Khotan in 1006 AD;
>We came down on them like a flood!
>We went out among their cities!
>We tore down the idol-temples!
>We shat on the Buddha's head!
I would say the two greatest banter cultures were Sparta and Zen Buddhists.
>King Demaratus, being annoyed by someone pestering him with a question concerning who the most exemplary Spartan was, answered "He that is least like you
>Linji - If you meet the Buddha, kill him
Jesus also had some pretty sick zingers.
>>1417960
Buddha was such a dumb fucker. I don't get the cult of personality that became his religion.
>Stop at some poor peoples house and they want to feed you because you're Buddha
>It's spoiled pork
>You're too dumb to turn it down
>Die from food poisoning because you're fucking stupid
>>1417696
based Chingiz
>>1417969
That's why I like Mahayana Buddhism more; it's focused more on a varied cosmology with a greater sophistication of philosophy in my opinion.
Favorite WREKT moments
>In 63 BC, Servilia Caepionis, longtime mistress and lover of Julius Caesar, contributed to a scandalous incident during a debate in the Senate over the execution or imprisonment of the Catiline conspirators, when someone handed Caesar a letter and it turned out that it was a love letter from her, after her half-brother Cato, who was on the opposing side in the debate and horrified by the ongoing, had accused Caesar of corresponding with the conspirators and demanded the letter to be read aloud, much to Caesar's pleasure.
>Shortly after the battle of Issus, a messenger arrived, delivering a letter from king Darius, who offered a huge ransom for his mother, wife and children. Alexander refused. In the next months, there were several diplomatic exchanges, which culminated in Darius' offer of all countries west of the Euphrates to Alexander. "I would accept it," said Parmenion after reading the proposal, "if I were Alexander."
"So would I," replied Alexander, "if I were Parmenion"
>Timothy Dexter's entire life :http://priceonomics.com/the-strange-life-of-lord-timothy-dexter/
>>1417654
>For the History Channel, I'm Mike Rowe
Well yeah, I would say it is
>A cavalry officer who regularly wore both a sword and a monocle, Saucken personified the archetypal aristocratic Prussian conservative who despised the brown mob of Nazis. When he was ordered to take command of the Second Army on 12 March 1945, he came to Hitler's headquarters with his left hand resting casually on his cavalry sabre, his monocle in his eye, saluted and gave a slight bow. This was three 'outrages' at once. He had not given the Nazi salute with raised arm and the words 'Heil Hitler', as had been regulation since 20 July 1944, he had not surrendered his weapon on entering and had kept his monocle in his eye when saluting Hitler.
>When Hitler told him that he must take his orders from Albert Forster, the Gauleiter of Danzig, Saucken returned Hitler's gaze....and striking the marble slab of the map table with the flat of his hand, he said, 'I have no intention, Herr Hitler, of placing myself under the orders of a Gauleiter'. In doing this he had bluntly contradicted Hitler and not addressed him as Mein Führer.
>To the surprise of everyone who was present, Hitler capitulated and replied, "All right, Saucken, keep the command yourself." Hitler dismissed the General without shaking his hand and Saucken left the room with only the merest hint of a bow.
