> The belief that a cosmic Jewish Zombie who was his own father can make you live forever if you symbolically eat his flesh and telepathically tell him you accept him as your master, so he can remove an evil force from your soul that is present in humanity because a rib-woman was convinced by a talking snake to eat from a magical tree.
How billions of people throughout history can claim to believe such tripe with a straight face is both astounding and a telling indictment of the inherent idiocy of the average human animal.
>>1257288
I agree.
>>1257296
It's fedoraish but it's still true.
(You)
>>1257288
>argument out of incredulity
>not a fallacy
step it up fedora-senpai
>>1257288
Yes, because the Word became flesh.
>Who is the liar but he who denies that Jesus is the Christ? This is the antichrist, he who denies the Father and the Son. No one who denies the Son has the Father. Whoever confesses the Son has the Father also. Let what you heard from the beginning abide in you. If what you heard from the beginning abides in you, then you too will abide in the Son and in the Father. And this is the promise that He made to us: eternal life.
1 John 2:22-25
>>1257288
>symbolically eat his flesh
>symbolically
>>1257452
Atheists are just a denomination of Protestantism.
>>1257441
But the word is just a word and a word.
>>1257288
Your /r/atheism tier understanding of theology is a bigger indictment of it
>>1257461
>In the beginning was the Word, and the Word was with God, and the Word was God.
John 1:1
>>1257463
There is no evidence of this "god" existing. Then, by looking at the bible, I also conclude that in the case that he existed he'd be a disgusting son of a bitch.
>>1257288
How people today can claim to believe such tripe with a straight face is both astounding and a telling indictment of the inherent idiocy of the average r/atheism goer.
>>1257471
Thanks for proving my point
>>1257476
Just go back to reading your recycled sumerian donkey porn
>be catholic
>have to tell priest whenever I masturbate or I'll be punished in hellfire
CANNOT fabricate this SHIt
>>1257482
Thanks for proving my point
>>1257523
Please you should read Age of Reason by Tom Paine
>not understanding that Christianity is the continuation of greek philosophy and all its core views are expressed via platonic/aristorelian terms, while the mythological stuff is for plebs
>not understanding that the entire western worldview is based on this synthesis and atheists have yet to replace it without falling back to christianized aristorelianism
>>1257551
Please continue to prove my point
>>1257489
>Being ashamed of telling another dude that you fap
How old are you?
>>1257553
It doesn't alter the fact that you believe that your vengeful spiteful murderous Jehovahgod sought to keep Knowledge from humanity and that when, unusually for an omnipresent being, he (sic) failed in this so he imposed a debt of sin on all mankind.
>>1257559
>Jehovahgod
Are you an ex-Witness or something?
What's also interesting is the fact that I'm getting dubs right now
>>1257553
This meme is very stale.
>>1257576
Atheists don't get dubs.
>>1257460
Damn, that's pretty profound.
>>1257577
Nice retort.
That the Catholic worldview in particular is a large basis for modern western morality, or that it's a large synthesis of greek philosophy, are not controversial claims for modern historians.
>>1257553
>and atheists have yet to replace it without falling back to christianized aristorelianism
what?
>>1257674
Neither is thee fact that that worldview is itself largely based on developments done in the Axial age, but I never see any of you christcucks thank the jews, the egyptians, the mesopotamians or the persians for any of their work
>>1257674
>the Catholic worldview in particular is a large basis for modern western morality
Where is Bernard Law again?
>>1257684
Atheist morality still relies on theist metaphysics, but they are without foundation. There is no law-giver to provide objective rules, there is no systematic metaphysics to justify the concept of "truth" or "justice". Why are we floating in a post-modern sea of uncertainty? Precisely because we have yet to fill the vacuum after thousands of years of ancient ethics.
Some philosophers have been attempting to create a neo-Aristotelian system with all Christian considerations removed, but it is far from reaching down from academic papers.
>>1257714
>There is no law-giver to provide objective rules, there is no systematic metaphysics to justify the concept of "truth" or "justice".
And neither is there in theistic ethics.
Unless of course you want to tell us about all those times you gave away all your possessions to the poor
>>1257714
I didnt know Aristotle was a christian
>>1257578
Well no, obviously.
They call the last 3 digits of their post correctly.
Arian Christianity gets the dubs.
We had a whole thread about this, remember?
>>1257441
true
>>1257553
my nigga
Justin Martyr all the way
>>1257335
Your point?
>>1257288
Dont cut yourself on the edges. Also nice fedora
>>1257441
>>1257465
>>he still thinks endless posting of bible passages will convince people who don't consider the bible to be authoritative about anything
You are easily the dumbest motherfucker on this whole fucking website, you do realize this yeah?
>>1257876
>what is autism
Aelian is really a lost cause. He possesses fatal levels of autism. He's like a Chernobyl of autism. all we can do is abandon him and hope that one day, the autistic radiation in his brain decays
>>1257897
>>1258067
Even if the study did conclusively show a correlation between autism and atheism this would not preclude someone from being autistic and holding religious beliefs.
>>1258078
Even if you were a licensed psychologist with the expertise to diagnose someone as autistic, you wouldn't have sufficient data to make such a diagnosis based on forum posts alone.
>>1257784
Pretty sure Justin Martyr just considered it a useful preliminary study to Christian theology. Brah.
>>1258078
If you don't understand why I keep posting biblical passages, sorry m'lad but you're the one who might have autism. You truly have eyes that cannot see and ears that cannot hear.
lol
>>1258111
Justin Martyr became a christian because he considered it a logical outcome of late Hellenic phisolophy (Plato, Socrates, his primary passions)
Correct me if I am wrong but I remember him litterally stating this.
>>1258189
I don't have any quotes on hand, but that seems like a misrepresentation. The differences between Platonism/Neoplatonism and Christianity are considerable. Hellenic philosophical language and concepts are useful for expressing dogma and belief though.
>>1258161
what is this suppose to mean - if you're an atheist you are either a dumb rock or a genius?
>>1258277
Yes, for every Penn Jillette there is a SJW bulldyke
This is such a reddit-tier "DUDE IM BEING SUBVERSIVE AND DECONSTRUCTIVE LMAO" argument it makes my blood boil. The fact that being deconstructive and breaking shit down into its most basic parts and then misinterpreting what those parts are is a major theme in literature and culture is fucking sad.
>>1258324
>a vulgar comedian is the prime example of an atheist intellectual
top wew
>>1258161
source on this study please
>>1258277
Karl Pilkington.
>>1258350
top lad, wew
>>1257288
>cosmic Jewish Zombie
(You)
>>1257288
Retarded Russell is on the side of the religiontards though, they literally worship him like he is a Saint.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1Run1jpZvS4
>>1258363
not sure what yeb has to do with anything but don't you think it's telling that comedians make up a considerable portion of the new atheist vanguard?
>george carlin
>ricky gervais
>bill maher
>penn jillette
atheism is an ideology propagated by clowns which is unsurprising considering that comedians are some of the most bitter and cynical people on the planet.
>>1258389
>worship him like he is a Saint
Second time in this thread: Atheists are just protestants.
>>1258395
Nearly ever word in the entire pasta is a deliberate misinterpretation of actual Christian theology
>>1258401
You mean it is worded in a way you don't like because it is a bit cruel.
>>1258399
I suppose monkeys are whales in the crazy world you live in.
have you taken your medication today, lad?
>>1258398
it had nothing to do with your post i just haven't seen anyone say "top wew" in a while and it reminded me of the twitter guacman bot
>>1258402
No, I mean the words are factually wrong
>Cosmic
No
>Zombie
No
>His own father
No
>Live forever if you eat his flesh
No
>Telepathically
No
>Evil force
No
>Rib-woman
No
All of that shit is not what any Christian believes
>>1258410
I'm sorry that was worded in a way you don't like because it's a bit cruel :^)
>>1258426
If by cruel your mean stupid, then it definitely is
>>1257714
Bluntly put, atheist morality relies on empathy and reciprocity, a concept that long predates Christianity.
There is of course the cultural pollution of Christian values, but let's not assume that all Atheists live in the west.
>>1258416
Just saying "no, no, no" is not even a minor attempt at refuting a single one.
Let's take one word since you are incapable of even starting to muster the puniest of arguments against any of them.
"Telepathic".
Are you saying this is incorrect and that you communicate with God using actual sound and noises?
>>1258446
>Bluntly put, atheist morality relies on empathy and reciprocity, a concept that long predates Christianity.
So what you're suggesting is that, a modern atheist would have more in common, morally, with say, a Roman Patrician, than a 19th century whig abolitionist?
>>1258457
>Are you saying this is incorrect and that you communicate with God using actual sound and noises?
Apparently, shitposting on 4chan is telepathic too!
>>1258067
What's "own system"
>>1258457
Yes, that one is incorrect
>Confess with your mouth and believe in your heart and you will be saved
That one is just semantics, but it proves that the OP is either going out of its way to be wrong or ignorant enough of Christianity that they don't even know the most famous verse detailing salvation
>>1258461
Something idiosyncratic.
>>1258460
>tfw
>>1258458
are you saying that the average modern day catholic has more in common morally with Thomas Aquinas than an atheist? modern morality isn't solely the result of christianity
>>1258477
Well, they should
>>1257296
>le hat joke, this will show them
>>1258457
What the fuck are you talking about? Of course it's enough
>Hey you, you believe this
>No I don't
>That's not an argument!
Fucking Hell
>>1257288
Shit boys we better pack it up now, how will Christianity ever recover from this crushing argument?
>>1258477
>are you saying that the average modern day catholic has more in common morally with Thomas Aquinas than an atheist?
Yes. Especially if they're a Thomist.
> modern morality isn't solely the result of christianity
Well, which is it. Does the basis of atheist morality predate Christianity, or is it a result of modernity?
>>1258498
Are you claiming posts on 4chan make actual sounds and noises?
>>1258498
No, it says you have to confess with your mouth in order to be saved
As in if you only confess in your mind aka telepathically then you won't be, because you have to witness in the name of Christ to be a Christian
God being omniscient is not telepathic, either
The words in the shitty pasta are incorrect. There's no way to get around it.
4chan
>the delusion that you are actually having a meaningful conversation with rational beings on an anonymous image board populated by antisocial teenagers and started by a teenager who wanted a place to discuss Japanese cartoons
There are two brands of retard in this this thread:
(1) OP and the anti-Christians are retards for thinking that they are presenting any meaningful critique of Christianity.
(2) The Christians and anti-anti-Christians are retards for thinking that they are engaging in an actual debate.
This thread is the internet equivalent of a slap fight breaking out on the short bus.
>>1258499
So if I just say "nope" to your post it is a rapier like dissection of what you said and completely refuted?
Okay, then.
Nope.
>>1258502
Really makes you think, huh? Now im #rockingforDawkings
>>1258498
No he's illustrating that defining "telepathy" as communication without "using actual sound and noises" is misguided.
Jesus communicated with the Father through the Holy Spirit.
>>1258503
>Well, which is it. Does the basis of atheist morality predate Christianity, or is it a result of modernity
first off I'm not the anon who said that, I just came into the thread. but I think he meant the basis for an atheist's morality, not the practices. morality has always been about social behavior deemed good for society at large, not some list of rules dictated by a god. and I disagree that most Catholics have a morality close to Aquinas, even though he is much loved by them. few catholics would advocate killing heretics
>>1258507
Dear friends, although I was very eager to write to you about the salvation we share, I felt compelled to write and urge you to contend for the faith that was once for all entrusted to God's holy people.
- Jd 1:3
>>1258504
Okay. So your entire argument is that "it isn't telepathy because I communicate with God through social media"
Well played anon! I wonder how anyone communicated with God before they had Facebook and 4chan and e-mail!
>>1258506
So you're saying God uses physical ears and they are just super powerful, like a bats!
Be clear. Be honest. Remember that's (apparently what God wants you to do).
Say openly and straightforwardly that you think it is impossible for God to read your mind i.e. not telepathy.
>>1258532
We confess with our mouths so our brothers and sisters will hear the truth with their physical ears.
>>1258554
filtered
>>1257288
SKY CAKE !!!
>>1258554
Last chance to openly and without evasion say the God cannot read minds or telepathy has been proven and we are on to zombie.
>>1258556
And this is the condemnation, that light is come into the world, and men loved darkness rather than light, because their deeds were evil.
- The Gospel according to John, Ch. 3 v. 16
>>1258532
You seem to be having trouble following what other people are saying. Is this a common problem for you?
>So you're saying God uses physical ears and they are just super powerful, like a bats!
Do you believe thought patterns are distinct from physical brainstates?
>>1258562
Last chance to openly and without evasion say reading is impossible otherwise it's proven that you're a crank who believes in Telepathy.
>>1258571
>God knows our thoughts through the power of the Holy Spirit.
So telepathy.
>>1258573
>>1258588
You had your chance to openly state that God cannot read minds. Telepathy has been proven to be accurate.
So then.
"Zombie"
Openly state you do not believe Jesus died and then came back to life.
I'm giving you one chance to not be evasive this time, then we are moving on to another word.
>>1258532
God knew your thoughts before He made the earth.
Am I the only Satanist here?
>>1258600
>Telepathy (from the Ancient Greek τῆλε, tele meaning "distant" and πάθος, pathos or -patheia meaning "feeling, perception, passion, affliction, experience")
The Holy Spirit is never distant.
>>1258562
God does more than read your mind.
God reads your heart, and your heart, as all of our hearts, is endlessly wicked.
>>1258611
No, the ultraprotestant shitposter believes he's practicing witchcraft.
>>1258611
Anyone not a born again Christian is a member of the Synagogue of Satan, so no.
There's only two sides in this war.
For Jesus, and Against Jesus.
>>1258615
Talking to God is the opposite of witchcraft.
Why don't you rail out against God? I assure you He can hear you. He's not grown deaf over the ages, and He's not too far away from you.
Why not take up your grievances with Him directly?
>>1258638
Zombies are undead whereas the resurrected Jesus is alive.
>>1257288
>The belief
Yes.
>that a cosmic Jewish
Yes.
>Zombie
Zombies are undead; Jesus came back to life in an improved physical body, better than His previous body.
>who was his own father
The Father is the Father; the Son is the Son. The Son is the only begotten Son of the Father.
>can make you live forever
Yes. Also, you're going to live forever anyways.
>if you symbolically eat his flesh
This is a Catholic/Orthodox heresy that is based on a misunderstanding of the difference between physical food and spiritual food. You have to have Jesus inside you; that's accomplished by the Holy Spirit being inside you.
>and telepathically
There is no distance involved in communicating with God, and He knew your thoughts before you were born.
>tell him
You don't tell God anything; He already knows.
>you accept him as your master,
This is the wise move, yes. Be adopted by God v being God's enemy.
>so he can remove an evil force from your soul
No, so He can add a holy Spirit to your body
>that is present in humanity because a rib-woman
kek, yes. Isn't cloning awesome?
>was convinced by a talking snake
reptilian enchanter, aka the devil
>to eat from a magical tree.
Not really magical, but powerful indeed.
Yup. Christianity is the belief that Jesus is God, risen from the dead after paying the sin debt of humanity.
>>1258503
>Does the basis of atheist morality predate Christianity, or is it a result of modernity?
There is no objective basis for morality without God.
>>1258638
Protestants.
>>1258650
Define "Zombie"
Define "undead"
Define "back to life in an improved physical body"
Define "better than his previous body."
Define "live forever"
Define "have to have Jesus inside you"
Define "Holy Spirit being inside you"
Define "He already knows"
Define "Be adopted by God"
Define "reptilian enchanter, aka the devil"
Define "Not really magical, but powerful indeed"
Define "sin"
Define "debt"
Define "Humanity"
until you do this you literally have no argument kid.
>>1258600
>>1258638
Zombie isn't really fair though. Zombies are far from the only creatures that can return to "life" and they don't actually live, they're undead. I'm pretty sure nowhere in the bible or anything to do with Christianity really is Jesus said to be a mindless brain eater.
It's quite possibly the most definitively wrong thing on that list.
>>1258650
This is more like it, the reason I did it piecemeal was this >>1258416
You've agreed the first six words.
>Zombies are undead; Jesus came back to life
Undead simply means not dead or alive but is usually used to refer to things that died and then came back to life. Therefore Jesus is undead, unless you are saying he never died or he never came back to life.
>Yes. Also, you're going to live forever anyways.
You've agreed the accuracy, we'll leave it there.
>This is a Catholic/Orthodox heresy that is based on a misunderstanding of the difference between physical food and spiritual food.
If you said "literally" which is even worse you would be referring to Catholic beliefs. As far as I am aware using the lesser term "symbolically" covers the vast majority of Christian sects.
>There is no distance involved in communicating with God, and He knew your thoughts before you were born.
Evasion and wordplay. If he knows your thoughts that is telepathy.
>This is the wise move
You've agreed to accept him as your master and this is an accurate statement.
>No, so He can add a holy Spirit to your body
Sin doesn't exist. I ask you to be honest and not evasive. Do you believe Jesus died for your sins?
>reptilian enchanter, aka the devil
Again you are simply agreeing with the accuracy. An explanation of why you think it is accurate is not a refutation it is accurate.
>Not really magical, but powerful indeed.
So not supernatural?
>>1258678
Define "kid"
>>1258694
I'm not saying the opening definition is wrong. Only unflattering.
I would reword it in a much more flattering way, as I do not seek to offend Christians.
The belief that God manifested Himself as a human being in order to pay the sin debt of humanity by dying on a cross, and that by believing He is Who He says He is you can be resurrected to eternal life by the indwelling presence of the Holy Spirit, which indwelling presence our ancestors Adam and Eve lost when they sinned, and live with God forever as brother to Jesus, and joint heir.
>>1258694
>is usually used to refer to things that died and then came back to life
No it isn't because zombies are not "alive;" they are simply reanimated corpses more akin to robots than actual living creatures.
>>1258720
They're also fictional.
>>1258724
Something they have in common with God, I suppose.
>>1258726
You can guess that until you die, and then find out differently if that's how you want to live your life.
Either way, one day you will bend the knee to Jesus, knowing He is the living God.
>>1258738
By the power of the Holy Spirit may that day come soon!
>>1258753
Stop casting spells at me, freak.
>>1258753
Even so, come, Lord Jesus.
>>1258771
Amen.
>>1258718
>I'm not saying the opening definition is wrong. Only unflattering.
My first couple of posts in the thread were these. >>1258395 >>1258402
I'm happy to agree OP was a bit cringey and mean and unflattering and cruel.
The people I took umbrage with are those that replied to me saying "no, no, no, it's not true, it's all wrong" when fairly obviously it isn't, even if a non-Christian trying to be a bit less cringey or a Christian would word it in a nicer way.
>>1258767
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sY0Vz8fvIhE
>All these salty christcucks
lol
You literally get down on your knees before bed to start pleasing Jesus
>>1258810
>Everyone who exalts himself will be humbled, and he who humbles himself will be exalted.
Luke 14:11
>>1258856
Nothing more irrationally proud than thinking you deserve ultimate bliss for following silly superstitions, while thinking everyone else deserves suffering for not being exactly the same flavor of cultists you happen to be.
>>1258856
>C'mon Antonius, I bet master will let us have extra bread if you just let him fuck your asshole tonight
>>1258866
Our salvation is undeserved which is why we follow the Way.
>>1259199
>Our salvation is undeserved
This.
Jesus performed a beautiful act of blood magic for us when he was crucified and that is why The Father, Yahweh, doesn't need goats sacrificed to him anymore.
The Saved will live among the clouds and Hindus, Atheists, Muslims and Catholics will spend eternity in Fire-Land.
I know this for absolute certain because the Holy Casper spoke to me while I was reading about Noah.
Hail Jesus.
>>1259276
>Jesus performed a beautiful act of blood magic for us when he was crucified and that is why The Father, Yahweh, doesn't need goats sacrificed to him anymore.
yes
>The Saved will live among the clouds and Hindus, Atheists, Muslims and Catholics will spend eternity in Fire-Land.
no
>I know this for absolute certain because the Holy Casper spoke to me while I was reading about Noah.
>Hail Jesus.
xD
>>1259276
The saved will be resurrected from the dead into eternal life and the unrepentant will suffer the second death in the lake of fire.
The real answer because they doesn't really believe in that. They believe in wishful thinkings parts about hell or heaven and just subscribes for whatever bullshit allows that wishful thinking. This or just childhood indocrination.
>>1259386
You're hardly one to speak for Christians.
>>1259403
You can't name even one person who believes in a resurrection of Christ but doesn't believe in heaven and hell.
>>1259420
Of course not but the belief in Heaven and Hell is not wishful thinking; our lives have eternal consequences.
>>1259433
> belief in Heaven and Hell is not wishful thinking
It certainly seems like that. The system is simple and absolute at the same time. It perfectly reflect people desire for fair world, etc. There is no bitter truth here, no possibility for mistakes, senseless existence, unanswered questions and such.
>>1259485
The bitter truth is that people choose Hell and there are plenty of unanswered questions.
>>1259485
Here's Napoleon's thoughts on the matter:
Alexander, Caesar, Charlemagne and I myself have founded great empires; but upon what did these creations of our genius depend? Upon force. Jesus alone founded His empire upon love, and to this very day millions will die for Him. . . . I think I understand something of human nature; and I tell you, all these were men, and I am a man; none else is like Him: Jesus Christ was more than a man. . . . I have inspired multitudes with such an enthusiastic devotion that they would have died for me . . . but to do this is was necessary that I should be visibly present with the electric influence of my looks, my words, of my voice. When I saw men and spoke to them, I lightened up the flame of self-devotion in their hearts. . . . Christ alone has succeeded in so raising the mind of man toward the unseen, that it becomes insensible to the barriers of time and space. Across a chasm of eighteen hundred years, Jesus Christ makes a demand which is beyond all others difficult to satisfy; He asks for that which a philosopher may often seek in vain at the hands of his friends, or a father of his children, or a bride of her spouse, or a man of his brother. He asks for the human heart; He will have it entirely to Himself. He demands it unconditionally; and forthwith His demand is granted. Wonderful! In defiance of time and space, the soul of man, with all its powers and faculties, becomes an annexation to the empire of Christ. All who sincerely believe in Him, experience that remarkable, supernatural love toward Him. This phenomenon is unaccountable; it is altogether beyond the scope of man's creative powers. Time, the great destroyer, is powerless to extinguish this sacred flame; time can neither exhaust its strength nor put a limit to its range. This is it, which strikes me most; I have often thought of it. This it is which proves to me quite convincingly the Divinity of Jesus Christ.
>>1259507
Chiefly among them, why do most humans choose hell over heaven.
>>1259526
Humans aren't known for their long-term planning abilities on eternity scale.
>>1259536
We're broken and living on the island of misfit toys.
>>1259567
Amen and Jesus came to fix us.
>>1257363
Thread should have ended here.
Wow, I can't tell who here is just this new to the internet, who is simply toying with the new people. Well done, OP.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yDbaRBEAxwU
>>1258866
How does it feel to know that there are first graders who have a better understanding of the teachings of Christianity than you?
Maybe don't try to speak for what Christians believe when it's painfully obvious through your sheer ignorance that you haven't got a clue yourself?
