Lets play a game /his/
1. Pick a historic figure
2. Give him three pieces of advice
3. Fix history
>Lay-off the Heretics
>Fuck Germany
>Don't stop cumming in Mary, never stop cumming in Mary, any free minute you have should be spent cumming in Mary. Repeat after me "Cum. In. Mary."
A Hapsburg block around France will keep them in check.
>>1037301
Napoleon.
>dont invade russia
>invade britain
>dont invade russia
>post guards by your tent
>don't alienate Máel Sechnaill
>seriously post guards by your tent
>>1037301
>Don't invade Poland
>Make better relations with anti-USSR Britain
>Don't invade Poland
>>1037328
>not knowing anything about the Napoleonic Wars
alexander hamilton
1. don't miss, either fucking murder burr or don't duel at all
2. run for governor of NY
3. run for president
>>1037301
>after inviting the spaniards into the city, suddenly stab cortez in the face when he least expects it
>the next batch of spaniards will be more peaceful, trade with them
>let their monks convert the peasants to their god, it doesnt matter...
>>1037355
Invading Poland was fine, starting hostilities with the Western Allies wasn't the problem. His problem was starting a war with the Soviet Union that no matter what he would most probably lose. If he wanted Lebensraum and a fascist Fortress Europe, he should have taken France and Britain and make everything West of the Molotov-Ribbentrop line the nations of the New Order (Italy, Bulgaria, Romania and Hungary were all already under fascist/nationalist governments themselves by then). Here's my advice for him:
>Obviously don't invade the Soviet Union, you retard. Stalin genuinely believes in your alliance, let the commies be and keep your focus on your West where your forces actually have genuine supremacy.
>In regards to Dunkirk, fuck the Luftwaffe, bombs don't do shit on sandy beaches, instead of trying to prove the prestige of your air forces like at Gueranica, just send in the Panzers surrounding the retreating forces and destroy them before they can successfully escape (proper aerial and naval focus on the rescuing ships would also be essential. Where the fuck is the Kreigsmarine?) That's all you need to prevent the "miracle" and decimate the British Expeditionary Forces.
>Don't try to tear down Britain's ability to defend with aerial force; it won't work, now that you've eliminated a good chunk of their forces and have maintained the momentum of morale a proper sweep at Dunkirk would have guaranteed, just go right in with all the force you have. It would be guaranteed to be a hard and bloody fight, and Britain wouldn't go down as easily as France for logistical and morale reasons, but with no Eastern front to hold off troops to prepare for, the full might of the German war machine would be almost guaranteed to eventually come out on top.
>wear armor under the toga when going to the senate
>nigga I'm for real on this one
>pls
>>1038351
They would have just slashed his throat and stabbed his face.
>stab
>wait you wearing armor bro?
>stab face and slash throat while others hold him down
>"et tu brute" not said cause throat slashed
>>1038351
Please Julius, have guards in the senate and be less trusting of Romans around you
>Take the last couple of weeks of November off, you deserve it.
>Make less public appearances.
>Up security wherever you go.
>Fuck Gavelkind succession
>Seriously no division of inheritance, estates and realm
>I'm not fucking kidding. Fuck second sons and brothers. If they don't like it they should be killed. Cadets should just chill and serve their purpose as reserves to the throne.
>get your generals to sit down and have an honest talk about how they feel about each-other
>you only need one army to invade Russia, don't overcomplicate things
>no matter how good pillows that men's legs make, it's time to have a son Charlie
>strike a deal with the Persians
>let your empire recover after decades of war
>kill every single last Arab you can find, until you find some random warlord called 'Muhammed', he's in Western-Arabia. Also, kill his buddies 'Abu-Bakr' and 'Ali'. They're filthy heretics who told called you a jew
>Fuck the Pope
>Don't invite the Spanish into Italy
>Fuck the Pope
>>1037301
this makes me sad
also the "baby turned out to be cancer" thing
>>1038651
>the "baby turned out to be cancer"
That sums up the Habsburgs
>>1037301
>Kill my son
>Flee to the New World
>Spanish Empire
>>1038690
How would kill your son help him in any way?
Don't you try for Charles IV to do your dirty work.
>>1038707
I'm José de Godoy
>>1038863
Then it's you who is doing his dirty work.
