Sperm Switch
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You are currently reading a thread in /g/ - Technology
You are currently reading a thread in /g/ - Technology
>Literally its technology...
What you think about it ?
http://www.starpulse.com/new-sperm-switch-invention-vasectomy-alternative-fertility-device-with-1848550356.html
Why can't they give me a horse cock already?
>>55607207
How do you prove that the switch was off when you're in court because your wife is suing you for alimony?
This will please my ex-wife!
>>55607268
Why would a sperm switch factor into alimony in any way?
Not my problem if some whore gets pregnant desu, I'll just lie and say it's not mine. Her body, her responsibility.
>>55607282
If you kept it a secret a wife could claim deception.
>>55607268
>How do you prove that the switch was off when you're in court because your wife is suing you for alimony?
DNA.
Sounds both terrifying and neat.
Neat because less condoms and less risk of impregnating a crazy woman who lies about her birth control. Terrifying because it's a switch to your fucking balls.
>>55607320
she fucked your monozygotic twin
>>55607207
I like how you can choose to turn of your left or right nut separately.
Can theoretically find out which one does girls and which does boys.
>>55607313
Alimony isn't dependant on fault at all. Your wife can divorce you because she has been fucking Tyrone on the side, and you will still have to pay alimony.
>>55607360
Meanwhile in Ancient Athens.
>>55607268
By signing a prenup.
>>55607360
>Can theoretically find out which one does girls and which does boys
>>55607363
Living in America must be terrible.
>>55607207
>tfw your wife's bull keeps your peepee in the off position
>>55607207
i'd rather get fixed so there is no chance ever for children.
>>55607207
>is 100 percent vegan (no animals were used during testing/development);
idontwanttoliveonthisplaneanymore.jpg
This must be the most retarded idea ever. How often would you want this "on"? Twice in your life? For the rest of it, you'd be walking with a foreign fucking body in your vas deferens, risking scarring and/or inflammatory response rendering you "off" permanently, or this fucking thing damaging something mechanically, e.g. testicular veins/arteries that run along in the spermatic cord. I'd rather freeze my semen and get snipped.
>>55607347
I don't have one.
>>55607255
life is suffering anon
>>55607320
You're not allowed that. The only time this thing would work is if it automatically recorded the times it was on and off and could not be tampered with. Otherwise it'd just get laughed out of a courtroom.
>>55607207
This shit should be bluetooth controled by the government and free for blacks and asians. Well, the inventor is German.
>>55607268
This
yeah i'm sure that sperm being stuck inside my body is no issue at all. fucking disgusting
>>55607207
This looks pretty and all but I bet having 2 switches inside your nut sack is going to be very painful if not actually piercing your fucking scrotum daily.
>>55607268
if this works and the switch was off the kid isn't fucking yours, you retard
or what are you asking?
>>55607697
it should have exhaust pipes to drain old sperm in a controlled manner
>>55607713
>it should
well, fucking does it? it's such a retarded idea. and what i understand from this picture is that the switches are inside your body? so what? i have to press them through my nutsack? what if i can't tell if they're on or off if i press the wrong way or halfway?
fucking stupid idea, for real. who the actual fuck would even need this?
>>55607255
Or a second dick.
Why girls can get dp'ed but I can't double penetrate one?
>>55607406
for a variety of reasons
about the only real advantage is if you want to make a lot of money and own a lot of stuff
>>55607741
Pressing a switch through your ballsack's skin seems like it would be very painful
>>55607556
this desu
>>55607712
gen test?
>>55607772
>very
good choice of adjective.
>>55607713
Why not just wank with the switch off to let the sperm out?
>>55607268
sue the company
>>55607772
It would be extremely painful.
>>55607207
So the switch is on the rectal walls? What if I get fucked in the ass? Wouldn't that turn it on and off? What if I have an anal orgasm and cum handsfree? Would there be sperm in the cum?
>tfw Schrodinger's semen
>>55607713
switch it on wank switch it off
>>55607207
>I will let some doctor tunnel into my balls just because I don't want to use a rubber
lol no I don't want to get flesh eating bacteria and rot my balls off thanks.
>>55607207
Will the company pay for child support if it doesn't work?
This thread reminds me /g/ is 12 and/or full of sandniggers.
>>55607888
kek please stop
What the fuck is happening in this thread.
So many retards posting. I want /b/ to leave.
>>55607586
>You're not allowed that.
Why not? If I am going to be required to pay for a child's upbringing the bare minimum should be proof that the child is mine.
Women can bitch all they want but the only reason for calling for a DNA test would be when the male has reasonable doubt to believe he is the father. Opposition to it is practically an admission that he is not.
>>55607207
That's fucking old new faggot
>>55607888
Sauce on that
>>55607282
>>55607712
Are you two retarded?
>>55607556
if you only need it twice why do you worry about it being permanently off after that
>>55607207
This is dumb. It's a hell of a lot cheaper, easier, and safer to just store your sperm in a sperm bank and get a vasectomy.
>>55607207
> Hold on, there, old gal, time to arm me balls.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mIUk08iYZKE
>>55607389
The judge will just throw it out.
>>55607268
Your fault for being a stupid fucking cucks and getting married in the first place. Any faggot that treats these whores as anything but what they are (a cum dumpster) deserve to pay vaginamony for the rest of their lives.
>>55607389
Prenups are worthless, they get thrown out by judges all the time.
>>55607207
This is actually amazing.
Your wife sticks her finger up your ass and switches off your ability to force her into house arrest for 9 months.
>>55607713
>drain old sperm
Your body does this by itself.
Your sperm live in your testicles for something like a week and then die.
You regenerate sperm constantly.
>>55607772
You're a big guy.
>>55607406
at least I feel good about not being a normie
>>55608152
Because you don't get to use your two "on" times if you're permanently infertile due to complications after getting these things implanted, you idiot.
>>55607991
you might think this, but even if you get proof you are not the father, if you got the rest result without consent from the mother its inadmissible in court. enjoy your payments cuck.
>>55608487
That's so logically backward.
Just another reason why 3D is PD.
>>55607207
game changing. It should be offered free to anyone over 16 years of age. Just think of how many unwanted pregnancy this will prevent and how much money that would save the government. Plus you don't have to worry about anyone taking any moral objection to it (unlike abortion) except hyper conservatives.
>Inb4 condoms
Most plebeians think with there dicks. If this device is installed it wont matter if they have a "lapse in judgment". Also it cannot be tampered with like a condom giving men better reproductive rights and less excuses for being a shithead.
>>55607360
I would like to do girls with both my nuts, thank you.
>>55607207
Did anybody notice this is the shadiest link in existence? There are 2 articles about discovering aliens right underneath it. Also "2018 with no delays" means 2030 if the planets align to make this work perfectly
>>55607207
STD rate will rise once the price point is dumb nigger tier and they hit OFF to not catch herpes.
So where is this switch and how does someone activate/deactivate it?
>>55607586
>You're not allowed that.
WTF
>>55609062
my face when I have to shit and jizz at the same time to squirt fertile sperm, otherwise it's just silly glue.
noface.bmp
So where does all the cum go???
>>55609062
>>55609088
It looks like it is high up on the ball sacks.
If anything I think there would be concern of accidental activation.
>>55609121
Same place it always goes when you aren't ejaculating.
>>55609121
inside you'reself so you get pregnant :^)
>>55607586
You are allowed that. There in no not allowed.
>>55609236
Thusly and for sooth allowance is naught given in this instance
>>55607207
Damn if it works well I wouldn't mind. But then again I love giving creampies, I don't know why but I have a fetish for impregnating women
>>55607888
>>55608374
>>55609088
>>55607697
>>55607713
>>55609121
>vas deferens is in the ass
>testicles produce semen
Fucking /g/ and its deep understanding of human reproductive anatomy.
So it has a chance to block my pisser? No thanks
>>55607347
>monozygotic twin
>not harvesting the twins blood and organs for maximum life experiences
Why would I need this? Is it supposed to be good for my balls to take a break from sperm makin or something?
>>55607347
they don't have the same DNA. They still have epigenetic changes
>>55609852
>So it has a chance to block my pisser? No thanks
No. Literally no chance at all.
>>55608344
"All the time" is a bit of a stretch. Unless the prenup is ridiculous, it's probably gonna hold up in court. If you're really worried, just get it notarized.
>>55607207
this is gay as fuck, when the switch is closed you are literally nutting inside your own ballsack
>>55608867
Don't think nobody noticed your virgin ass just because it has been more than an hour with no replies.
:^)
>>55607207
>secret effect can be used by CIA to electrocute you balls remotely
>>55610061
You still ejaculate, it just doesn't have semen mixed in it.
Shooting blanks so to say.
>>55609205
Nocturnal emission?
>>55610061
Think how big ur ballsack will get and how bad it would smell if it busted open
>>55608572
>it should be offered for free
nah, Its going to cost more than 15 times your yearly salary
>>55610144
It should at least be free for jews.
>Not just going to Japan and fucking Japanese girls
No mandatory child care lads
>>55607752
I had a dream where I had two cocks. It was pretty cool.
>>55610183
Gotta learn the language first. Working on it.
I'm the only one that this shit sound like nightmare fuel thinking the switch could get stuck or the conduct that connect it break by some kind of obstruction or overload?
>>55607207
Why not just wear a condom or get a vasectomy?
The switch sounds hella dangerous and more expensive than a vasectomy
>>55610415
desu the Bible already has the answer you need. Just don't have sex with women until you're certain they're the one you want to bear your spawn.
>>55608867
>I would like to do girls with both my nuts
>girl (noun) 1. a female child
literally admited being a pedo on a public board
>>55610399
>Am I the only one?
No. This is going to break.
ANUSE IS FOR SEX
VAGINER IS FOR PROCREATION
>>55610415
>Why not just wear a condom or get a vasectomy?
Vasectomy is harder to reverse. The point of this one is that you can flip it as you please.
this + converstion to islam
>>55610521
Why would you ever want to have kids?
>>55607363
I dont get this trope. the only reason she can fuck tyrone and get you to pay alimony is if she get a lawyer and you dont. just getting a fucking lawyer and have her pay alimony to you. are people really this stupid?
>>55607268
Smart sperm switch. Duh.
>>55610415
I'd rather have the female get one of those rings put in or have her tubes tied, since women's contraceptive procedures are much safer.
With a vasectomy, I'm guessing the sperm just ends up flowing in your sack and I can't stand the thought of that. Vasectomies also greatly increase your chance for getting prostate cancer or a few other things, and there of plenty of people that have their testosterone levels tank from ti.
This is way worse than RISUG or Vasalgel (same concept, different companies). Just wait for that to get approved and popular, don't install that shit into your body.
>>55607207
My vasectomy was good enough
>>55607876
You're a big guy!
>>55607255
This desu. When can they use that organ growing stem cell shit that they use to grow hearts and stuff and just grow me a fully functional 18" long horse schlong out of my own cells and attach it to me.
>>55607360
Is this bait or are you retarded?
>>55607752
Because you can get prostate orgasm but they can't.
>>55610663
Are you retarded? Fault doesn't matter at all in an alimony settlement. The only thing that matters is the respective incomes of each party.
If you leave the switch closed all the time? What happens to the sperm building up behind the switch?
I basically just want a switch like in my mangas where they put a magic spell on a dude and he cant cum no matter how much they jerk him off.
>>55614085
What do you think happens to sperm if you never ejaculate?
It just gets recycled. They just die in the sack.
Sperm only live for like a week anyway.
>>55607255
Great, now I wan't one on my forehead.
>>55611993
Jesus fucking christ, how many of you faggots finished secondary school biology? Your body breaks down unused sperm cells.
And before the mongo horde arrives asking 'hurr how u cum', your semen consists mostly of seminal fluid produced in the prostate.
>>55614817
>secondary school biology
99% don't give a fuck, sad but true
Holy fucking cucks
>german
>jews
>turn off fertility
>works only on white people
>not to mention the fucking unresearched health consequences
gg white race, gg germany
>>55607207
Thats a big anal cavity.
>>55609526
https://broadly.vice.com/en_us/article/seeds-of-love-when-risking-pregnancy-is-your-biggest-turn-on
>>55608096
seconding
>>55614817
Actually, some 80% of seminal fluid comes from seminal vessicles which are two completely separate organs. Prostate fluid accounts for 15% or so, and the remaining tiny amount comes from epididymis with the actual sperm.
>>55607713
maximum kek
>>55607345
No, condoms are against diseases too.
>>55614043
> caring about the girls orgasms
i just want to fuck 2 holes at once man.
>>55607207
Cuck switch, hahahah. Ever heard of condoms?
>not wanting to breed many women
lotta low T fags in here.
>>55607207
condoms?
the pill?
abstinence?
???
>>55616052
>the pill?
can have detrimental effects
>>55616052
>condoms?
the only answer. + oral (;
>>55607207
yeah and then the switch get malfunction and u can say goodbye to your erection because sometime that happen. prefer good old condom with more thin layer and non invasive procedure.
>>55616044
Not everyone can live on welfare with 7 children, Jamal.
>>55615051
>works only on white people
Not sure where it said that...
It's perfect if you want to rape women without a condom.
>>55616106
>spermatic cord has anything to do with erections
Your knowledge of your own fucking anatomy is as bad as your English.
It is truly amazing how m7ch of /g/ knows so little about how male reproduction actually works.
Still. Made me smile at the 12 year olds being scared of thier nuts bursting from cumming inside themselves.
>>55608330
Found the Virgin
>>55607207
meh, call me when they make the orgasm switch
>>55618109
“In 1954, James Olds and Peter Milner accidentally implanted an electrode into the [pleasure centers] of a rat and discovered that it became very energized, so they purposely set up an apparatus such that whenever a rat pressed a bar it generated a small electrical stimulation to the area. The rats pressed the bar until they collapsed, even to the point of forgoing food and water. […] The effect has since been found in all mammals tested, including humans.”
>>55618109
http://www.aliexpress.com/item/prostate-massager-anal-plug-butt-sex-toys-self-defense-unique-special-intimate-ass-toys-sex-dildo/1713921751.html
>>55607207
Hope you never have to get an MRI after having one installed.
>>55616163
>huge corps get billions every year and offshore them to avoid contributing back
>feeling bad for getting money so your family won't starve
found the self-hating liberal!
>>55618136
Sounds just as addictive as drugs, which can be controled if you live a healthy non-self-hating life
I'd try it.
Just kill the girl after you ejaculate and save the time and money for this shit.
>>55607268
Have the switch store time and date data of when it's switched.
>"As you can see, at the time of intercourse my client had his sperm switched off"
But now the NSA will know when, and possibly where, you turn your sperm on and off.
>>55607207
UGGGGHHH don't these fucking retards get it that we should help biology by directly advancing it? not pretending and faking it with technological implants.
I swear it's like these faggots want to become energy matter by planting a lightbulb inside their ass.
>>55610425
>taking advice from monks who thought the sun orbited the earth
>>55618979
>taking advice from monks who thought that for any particular trait, the pair of alleles of each parent separate and only one allele passes from each parent on to an offspring
>>55607255
>white boys
Next thing you're gonna want to be over 6'0".
Why not a switch that turns you between gay/straight
>>55618209
>which can be controled if you live a healthy non-self-hating life
That entirely depends on the type of drug lad. Some drugs cause physical dependence, and withdrawal causes you to get sick or worse.
>>55610186
I had a dream like this too but it was just my normal cock split in half. Was pretty exotic, though
>>55607255
C-Can we meet up if the madmen actually do it?
please?
>accidentally turn it to "on" during sex
woops!
>>55607207
Every time I see disgusting cuck shit like this, I feel dizzy and get an urge to vomit. Is there a way to shut that off too?
>>55607207
I understand now what turn me ON means
>>55607713
>ricing your balls with chromed exhausts spilling old cum everywhere
>turn the switch on, revving sound every time you pump blood in your dick
This is madness
>>55619603
I had a dream that I had 3 and they all had their own disease.
>no switch you can flip to make your dick grow super huge on command
>>55622033
it's not like you'd put it to good use anyways
>>55607207
why wouldn't they do it with rfid
>>55623164
...
>>55623246
because then you could get hacked XD
