30 failed and counting
>>54825723
I've sent over 100 resumes and I have never gotten a call back.
I even checked my github traffic and there hasnt been any traffic that wasn't me.
>be handsome
>interviewer is a girl
>instant job offer
>>54825890
>be handsome
>anime
that doesn't add up
>list 3 words to describe your personality and explain why you chose them
>tell me of a time you tried your hardest and failed
>>54825871
>I've sent over 100 resumes
That's your problem. Go fucking visit them.
Well I'm a girl so I just said I can fizzbuzz and got an offer on the spot. Haha boys trying to get jobs in tech xD
>>54825917
Works really for multi-nationals.
>>54825890
nice try
>>54825908
fucking A
>list 3 words to describe your personality and explain why you chose them
Had this recently. hated that.
>>54826040
Nice try but melon-pan is extremely handsome, married, and makes enough to money to support his hobby.
As my last interview was wrapping up, employer asked me if I have any questions. I replied "when do I start?" Ballsy, but it worked.
>>54825995
I got fizzbuzz and failed it. This is NOT a joke. I am an advanced /g/ poster and I swear I can out-code most people in /dpt/. The problem was not I didn't get the solution -- it's that I was so familiar with it and clever solutions that the interviewers were baffled. At first they thought I was doing it wrong, and they asked why I didn't just code it like it was described because that way people can actually understand what I was doing.
That's how I failed fizzbuzz.
>>54825890
Same here. In less that 5 minutes. The next day I rejected. But still. Asked why I was getting the offer in that short time. She says that she could tell that I would fit in. Fuck that.
I have good success in interviews with Pajeets and slavs, but terrible experiences with Chinese guys.
Chinese guys are very intimidating.
>>54826127
lel, this reminds me of someone from my school who said he did fizz-buzz using list comprehensions in python and the interviewer had no idea what he did.
>>54826285
kek, getting cucked by chinks
>white ''''''''''''people''''''''''''
>>54826285
Holy shit, I have the same exact experience here. Most folks, even Pajeets didn't put much pressure on me during interviews and I felt relaxed. The gooks that interviewed me were more interested in making themselves look smart. It's almost like they were compensating for something...
>>54826348
They know how to get rid of the trash.
>>54825871
Resume probably looks shit
What the fuck is with all these FizzBuzz interview questions? Am I the only one getting complex data structures and algorithms? Nevermind the ACM level questions... And that's just for an internship.
>>54826397
Like what? The hardest question I got was an dynamic programming question at Twitter.
The Microsoft internship interview was tricky. Their questions are always ambiguous, and you have to ask the right questions to succeed. The problems themselves aren't difficult, just tricky.
>>54826397
You're probably interning at places that actually know what they're looking for.
FizzBuzz is a basic way to tell if people actually know what they're doing or if they're pajeet monkeys. Depending on how you form the answer, it's clear on whether or not you can actually program or if you just write spaghetti code.
Never succeeded in any, except for one which was some lame object oriented problem. I've only had a couple of interviews, most have been phone interviews.
>Asked to do problem on white board
>All of the markers were nearly dry
>>54825723
Apply for a 3 month IT internship
> Send in your resume 8 months before the internship starts
Easy enough
> Complete the online personality quiz
Easy enough
> Play this game that tells us how good you are at management and EI
It's fucking Diner Dash with horrifying mash up faces
> Video record yourself answering these questions:
> 1. What does a customer mean to you
> 2. Tell us about a time you shared a moment with a customer
> 3. What current technologies can our finance institution use for customers
This shit was so fucking hard. You dress up, turn on your shitty laptop camera and stare directly into it. The questions are simply prompted on screen, you have 15 seconds to think and 30 seconds to reply. Casual filter for HR
> Come to our finals round and make a paper plane assembly, speed date managers and get chummy with everyone
Easier than the rest, but mostly because I'd just gotten a different IT job by this point and simply didn't give a fuck anymore. Only went along because I'd made it so far and was curious. Spent more time talking about shoes and how important 'culture' is to the work environment
On the plus side, they kept me on after the internship and I make decent money. Finishing uni this year and can expect 70k+
>>54828476
>IT
>internship #2
>anon analyze this, input a bunch name and tell me whats wrong with the answer
>6 people looking at me
>looking at the names I come up with
>running out of names
>come on this is not even programming related, don't get fucking stuck with goddamn names, what has /g/ taught me?
>type in pajeet instinctivley
>brown guy stares at me and clears throat
>tag says gonzalez
phew
and nothing ever came out of that
>"pruhfessional qualities question"
answer in corporat meems
>"technical question" ]
take short amount of time to think, provide a concise answer yet explain thought process clearly
>"random questions that don't fit into conventional interview categories"
Provide short answer. Add humor. Give a chance for the interviewer to add clarification questions in between.
Imo, try to keep as close to the truth with all the HR meme questions. Makes it easier to talk naturally.
>>54827150
>most have been phone interviews.
those are the best
I could bullshit my way out of anything on the phone
>>54825871
Post github link
>>54825871
this is also me.
>>54825871
>I've sent over 100 resumes
Holy shit! Did it not come to you that you might be doing something wrong after say 20, 40, 60, 80?
>>54829468
>hmm no one is responding to any of these applications
>"i should ask around"
>*ask family*.
>get meme replies
>*ask irc*
>get meme replies
>*ask reddit*
>get meme replies
>*finally ask here*
>get insults
>>54829525
Perhaps you have transcended to a level of irony where everything has become a meme
>>54828931
kek
>show up for interview
>told that they're not accepting white males at this time
>mfw
Geeze, you guys have had it rough. Here is my current job's process.
apply to all the large 3d studios within Toronto
Everyone wants online resume submissions, they aren't even bothing with request for portfolios except for ubisoft.
Get call for interview in a week at one of the bigger studios.
Shit shit, make a new demo reel. Cut that easily enough from stuff I worked on before ( 5 years at one of their competitors ).
My turn to interview (im the only one there atm), walked to a board room, 6 people on one side of a conference table, a 72inch tv with my reel on it on the opposing wall.
Stantard hello, did you find the place ok, have a seat, and shaking all the hands.
Instant question "we were a bit confused as to what you did in you demo reel" (wtf?, did not expect it to be confusing).
"could you describe what parts you made in this first shot here"
So I describe I did everyone on screen except the 2 main characters, did all the props, background tree, background buildings, and the giant prop the characters are fucking destroying.
" oh ok, what about this one "
literally goes on for every single shot in my reel, its all shit I did, thats hte point of a demo reel...... to show your stuff. was super weird
they let it just play as I descbribe in each like 5 second shot what like 80% of what you see i made. ( just the models ).
Then the super quiet guys who look like they sleep once a month ask me technical questions. What software you use, what is your process for this and that. Then into specific tech talk 4 of the 6 dont understand, but the 2 workaholics do.
Whole thing lasted like a half hour.
The second they just sat there and let me describe what I did was so damn weird, Id never encounted anything like that before.
Interview over, handshakes, we will send out emails later this week.
I got a phone call, literally. 7 minutes later, moment Im about to get on the subway.
You start next monday.
Great Success!!
>>54829701
>gamedev
enjoy your suicide
haven't nabbed a job, but i've been getting better in the interviews so some advice
>never mention money, even if in passing. managers will see you as someone who will leave to make more money later
>only apply to jobs in your local area, unless your skills are very hard to find.
i got 3 phone interviews from out of state in a month of searching, once i applied locally i got 3 in the first week.
>if the job posting says 3 years experience, only apply if you have 2-3 years experience at least. same for positions you over-qualify for, don't apply.
>stretch the truth but don't go too far
>>54829701
I haven't started looking for jobs yet but I'm relatively sure that its normal for employers to ask you specifically about work you've done. Whether they request a complete and comprehensive technical guide or just some abstraction should vary, but it puts you on the spot so you have to show that you know what you're doing.
I would definitely ask a prospective employee about a comprehensive explanation of their work experience in order to gauge what they know.
>>54829638
major CS
minor Wimin studies
>>54826397
One of my roommates had to redraw an IR transmitter and receiver schematic with certain specs given by the interviewers from a class he took over a year before the interview *from memory*. Apparently they really just wanted to see how well he could retain material and work on his toes.
>>54830052
i got hired for a place that was a shithole
they used me to fix something in the interview
it'd have cost them thousands to fix it
These are so sad and funny I can't tell if they're actually true.
>>54830090
my sides
interviews = free labor
i noticed his desktop wallpaper, we talk about brasilian jiu jujitsu for 20 mintes, my qualifications for 5. he calls me back the next day and asks me to start the following monday.
I've offered to work for free for a few weeks to allow them to see if I fit their impression of an ideal candidate.
I think it may have worked for me on one occasion. I was applying for an engineering position at a small medical device company.
If yoyu're having difficulty, why not try it anon?
i noticed his desktop wallpaper, we talk about a grassy meadow and the clouds for 20 mintes, my qualifications for 5. he calls me back the next day and asks me to start the following monday.
>>54830203
>I've offered to work for free
lmao what a cuck!!
>>54830207
>>54830225
well, it may have worked. Maybe you're more fortunate.
Maybe I would've got an extra 3 weeks pay; or maybe I would've still been unemployed for a month.
>>54826320
Sounds like the interviewers were shit then
>>54827423
D R Y
>>54830203
>>54830270
>rajeev
Well, that explains it
>>54829729
nah, im at a movie/tv studio, enjoying being a sr. on a $100 mil movie.
>>54829638
Isn't this illegal?
>>54827423
Did you do anything or just sit there and cry?
>>54830338
Yes, in America at least it's actually illegal for them to even bring up race, ethnicity, age, or a disability during an interview.
>>54830369
what about iq tests?
>>54829638
FUCKING WHITE MALE
>>54830381
I don't know about them but jobs are allowed to have physical tests if the work they do is physically demanding. Work experience, certifications, and diplomas are probably a safer way for employers to screen out candidates.
>>54830369
oh and gender that was another one
>>54830338
Only if you're not a white male. Pic related is the Huffington Post.
>>54828931
lmao
>>54830381
People will hire you based on your IQ alone if you join an IQ organization.
>>54830459
>not a single black woman
HuffPo confirmed for racist.
"What's your experience"
>just out of school with required cert
>had next level down cert and 2 years of work experience with it
"Do you have any questions for us?"
>ask a few related to how they do things here, being a remote location
"See you on Monday at the orientation!"
Wew lad. And that's how I got my first full time job as a paramedic.
What are some non programming related tech jobs, /g/? I don't have the brain thinking for coding logic, I've tried it before. Occasionally I assemble, repair, or clean computers for coworkers and friends for cash on the side. Was thinking of starting my own geek squad, but on principals of honesty, as well as assembling computers for clients. I figure I would be better off asking biz in how do, but what does /g/ think of doing that on the side?
>>54825871
Did you at least get rejection letters?
>>54830543
You don't get those in the US.
>>54830517
Are you indian?
>>54830634
I got them from a bunch of US-based companies. If you get rejection letters then it's a positive sign.
>>54830459
so. many. macfagbooks.
disgusting
>>54830680
>If you get rejection letters then it's a positive sign.
Wat
>apply for an IT intern position
>phone interview goes fine, recruiter tells me the interview will probably just be her + the IT head
>they gangbang me with six people
>one of them doesn't even show up on time and interrupts me in the middle of the first question
>some guy I knew from high school is on the panel because I mentioned him in the phone interview
>they ask me a bunch of IT security questions
>have pretty much the same answer for each one (consult documentation, report it, take action if it's allowed, from previous internships corporate IT departments are really touchy when it comes to just going in balls deep on your own judgement)
>retardedly mention that while I am a CS major I don't enjoy programming too much (there is more to CS than software engineering after all)
>one of the hipster looking shitheads grills me on it
>leave feeling assraped
>"we'll let you know in a week"
>never got a call back
Was worth the experience, I guess.
>>54825871
>It looks like traffic to your repository is a little light. Go spread the word and check back later!
>>54825871
Same desu senpai. I thought I'd be safe because tech is an apparently "booming" field, but I'll probably be lucky to get paid $12 as a front end web dev when I graduate in a quarter.
Thank you for your interest in the Helpdesk Support Technician position at W.J. Bradley Mortgage Capital Corp. We have had the opportunity to review your resume and regret to inform you that we have chosen to pursue other candidates whose skills, background, and education more closely match our needs.
We will keep your resume on file for 6 months and contact you in the future if a position becomes available that more closely matches your qualifications.
Again, we appreciate your interest in W.J. Bradley. We wish you the best of luck in your job search.
Sincerely,
The Human Resources Team
W.J. Bradley Mortgage Capital Corp
>>54830680
I think that's worse than not getting a letter. It means they won't consider hiring you if their first choice doesn't work out.
>>54830733
I mean it's a positive sign that you're choosing the right places to submit your resume. If you get no rejection letters after hundreds of resume submissions, then it's likely that no one has ever read your resume or the job listing is fake.
>>54825723
>first appliance
>be 19
>200 questinons
>120 insta answers
>tomorow job offer
Idk, wasnt that hard
>>54830678
No.
>>54825723
>Been on one back there
>asked few questions
>nailed it duz Im awesome
long story short, been working there for 3 yrs now
>working at a casino as a bitch worker
>see IT opening
>apply
>get interview because internal transfer priority
>using my charisma to land a call back
>have no certs or job experience
>director impressed with my academic background despite no experience or certs
>now working an IT job that requires a bachelors and certs without meeting the requirements making 40k a year
Honestly if you can fake confidence and smooth talk your way in you can get anything. Don't sperg out, keep calm and bottle up your autism.
[spoiler]im actually working on all my certs as we speak and the company provides tuition reimbursement lmao[/spoiler]
>>54830785
baka senpai fml
maybe they see shitty school and immediately throw it away
>>54830892
How do I hide my autism?
>>54830809
It's still good because it's warning to you that there's a lot of competition for the position and likely a high turnover rate at the company you're applying to.
these letters keep coming and coming, some curry nigger probably got the job too. Fuck H1-B, fuck desktop support, and fuck my life.
Dear Anon,
We want to thank you for taking the time to apply with us for the position of Technical Support Analyst at UnitedHealth Group.
Unfortunately, the opening for this specific position is no longer available.
If you have expressed interest in other positions, we will be glad to review your qualifications and will keep you informed about your status as we evaluate candidates. Please feel free to check in to our candidate portal to check on your status for any other positions you may have applied to. You can view a list of all positions applied to from your profile by clicking into the tab "My Jobpage" and sub tab "My Submissions". To view your status on a completed application, refer to the Submission Status for more information.
We will retain your profile in our database for two years. Additionally, we will inform you of jobs matching your criteria if you selected this option during your application process.
At UnitedHealth Group, we are constantly seeking to reinforce our team to make healthcare work greater than ever and hope you will explore other positions and continue to consider UnitedHealth Group as your prospective employer.
If you have not applied for other positions at UnitedHealth Group, we encourage you to visit our Careers website and review the current openings.
Careers.unitedhealthgroup.com
Again, we appreciate the time and effort you have taken to apply at UnitedHealth Group. We hope to see your name among the candidates for other opportunities.
Best regards,
Recruitment Services
Diversity creates a healthier atmosphere: An Equal Opportunity Employer
M/F/D/V
Please do not reply.
Replies to this message are undeliverable and will not reach Recruitment Services.
>>54825723
>Graduate with degree in CE
>Interview for coding position at government contractor company
>HR lady said interview would be with 2-3 people
>Sit down with 5 CS coders, 2 managers and 1 HR
>Fifteen minutes of pleasantries/easy questions asking about me
>Coders take over
>Hour and a half interview pulling apart my resume and asking in-depth technical questions about every project I had listed, some things going back years
>Nailed every question.
>Offer two days later
Honestly, the key is to know what you put on your resume backwards and forwards + how to not be shit at coding.
If you get an interview, chances are you'll get the job if you can do that.
>>54830824
this desu
Here's some experience as an interviewer:
>be me
>back when I was working on Windows Desktop software and drivers
>MFC, Win32, multithreading, device I/O
>asked to come interview a college grad
>boss warns him, "watch out, he's a REALLY tough interviewer"
>ask him what experience he has in relevant areas
>basically zero
>ask him what he can tell about MFC. Zero.
>what about Win32. Zero.
>literally nothing to ask the guy about
>guy says, "whew! He said you were going to be really tough!"
>I just Bert stare him, he doesn't realize he failed completely since he has zero value to the team
When I graduated, I already had a couple years of real-world Win32 programming experience. I could tell you about multithreading, synchronization mechanisms, file I/O, etc. I would probably fail today's nit-picky language lawyer bullshit interview questions, but I knew how to get shit done.
Oh, and just before *I* graduated, I went out and interviewed.
>talk about my several years of experience writing software
>in production use (still in use today in 2016, in fact)
>interviewers ignore everything
>"What about this senior project you did?"
>Uhhh. Yeah, I did that as a junior because I skipped the intro classes. It's really not a big deal. Just writing some documentation and making a small program.
>We were nominated best in show by our peers.
>"So, is it currently being used?"
>Uh, I don't know. I'm not the one who had the contact at the hospital.
>Grimaces all around.
The idiots ignored relevant experience and only cared about how my bullshit pseudo-thesis project went. And they ignored the fact that ours was -- by far -- the best of that entire year.
>Didn't get interviews because I applied for retail jobs. No quals in IT
>Get an apprenticeship as an IT Technician
>Got another IT Technician job but with more money.
It's all about asking questions. I take a little book with me with a list of potential questions. It's a prompt.
>>54830927
Know how to maintain a conversation without memes.
Then lie to yourself and believe you are the hottest shit around. Don't be over the top but enough that you can fake cofidence to everyone around you.
Also when you talk you got to be charismatic. Speak as if you know what you are talking about and being able to know where your limits are but want to keep improving yourself.
Sure knowing what kind of person sitting across from you interviewing you also helps. Tech field jobs mean the people are like you but more matured and refined so hook them into conversation instead of them listing you questions. The more they are into the conversation and move away from their script the more it shows interest and landing the job.
Also it doesn't hurt to be persistent but try to examine that fine line between persistence and desperation/annoyance.
I hope this helps out a bit. This is coming from a former autismo that had to learn to act like a norm i.e. After years of working hospitality.
>>54825723
I have two that are noteworthy
>be in interview
>interviewer is a woman, been in her current position for 4 years
>its second and final round of interviews, company is checking for fit not qualifications
>about ten minutes into the interview, which is going well, there's an audible fart
>ignore it, continue the interview
>less than half a minute later, another, louder fart
>woman shifts uncomfortably
>another, wetter one happens a couple seconds later
>she excuses herself and leaves quickly
>I sit there, unsure what to do
>fifteen minutes later, she's still not back
>pretty sure at this point she's hoping I just left, but I want the job so I'm staying put
>several more minutes pass
>stand up and walk around a little bit, sit back down
>more than half an hour after she left, a secretary comes in and tells me the interviewer cannot return
>go home
>get a call the next day telling me I got the job
>occasionally see the woman at work, and she always finds somewhere else to be
>never talk to her again
But that's not the most awkward interview I've ever had
>interviewing for my first job out of college
>its shit, but such is life
>full blown proto-SWJ (this was before such a term existed)
>she's got to be in her mid-thirties, overweight, not at all attractive
>asks me if I have a girlfriend
>I'm 22
>tell her that's really not an appropriate question
>she is upset, continues the interview
>at the end of the interview she tells me I'm a decent applicant, but she could help me out if I were to take her on a date
>nope.avi.exe
>thank her for the interview and leave immediately without shaking her hand
I didn't get that job.
>>54826397
>Am I the only one getting complex data structures and algorithms?
That's not relevant to 98% of all software development jobs. Seriously, it's kind of laughable how much people care about it, given that it's simply *NOT* an issue.
Here's an example: an old coworker of mine moved away, and I went to visit. He told me about a project he took on. Someone had a database-backed system that ran extremely slowly. He started poking around. Turns out that when they needed to update a field, they would do the following:
1) Create a new database.
2) Copy the current database to the new database, except for the row to be updated.
3) Populate the new database's row with the data from the current database, except for the column to be updated.
4) Update the new column.
5) Close the old database.
6) Delete the old database.
7) Create a new database with the old name.
8) Copy the entire 'new' database to the 'old' (now new) database.
The vast, vast majority of software is down to simply not understanding how to use the APIs put in front of you. Personally, the biggest optimization I ever did was to replace this:for (int y = 0; y < height; y++)
for (int x = 0; x < width; x++)
{
array[y][x].x = 0;
array[y][x].y = 0;
array[y][x].set = 0;
array[y][x].length = 0;
array[y][x].dest_x = 0;
array[y][x].dest_y = 0;
}
With this:ZeroMemory(array, sizeof(array));
The programmer who had written the atrocious code said on the phone, "wow, I can really tell you studied Computer Science".
>>54825871
Keep sending them, and refine or lie on your resume if need be.
>>54831085
>lie on your resume if need be.
This. Companies will lie to you and fuck you over whenever it suits them.
Forget about ethics. You're swimming with sharks. Take every advantage available to you.
My biggest professional regret is that I didn't lie more.
>>54831081
zeromemory does the same thing with the code above. except it's probably one for loop where x < width*height. But it's still essentially the same.
>>54831153
Fucking this. The managers where I work admitted they don't have any of their certs up to date yet it's required for any position in the department.
And this guy that came in to apply at our building asked me on my way out what were my qualifications and I straight up lied and told him I had a bachelors and 8 different certs when I had no special certs myself.
>>54831215
>t it's still essentially the same.
There were more fields than the example I listed, including a few contained arrays. Give me a break, it was 15 years ago.
My 'optimization' dropped startup time from around 45 seconds to under 5 seconds.
I don't have any niche skills, so;
>Can you lift 20kg?
Yes.
>Can you do satin/bright polishes on both stainless and aluminium?
Yes.
>Are you able to tackle jobs from start to finish by yourself, if necessary?
Yes.
>Do you mind working overtime?
Not if it's pay+1/2.
>Can you start Saturday?
Cheeky. Yeah sure.
After 5 places of work, I'm yet to actually go out looking for a job myself that a friend or family hasn't gotten my foot in the door for me.
I think the best one was;
>Do you take any recreational, prescription or any other drugs?
Aside from caffeine? No.
>Piss in this cup
Kay.
>
>
>
>
>Start immediately?
Yep.
>>54831085
>>54831153
It's okay to exaggerate but outright lying is risky. They will likely ask you questions or test you on the skills you claim to know.
>>54831016
post them please
>>54831488
>It's okay to exaggerate but outright lying is risky. They will likely ask you questions or test you on the skills you claim to know.
Who cares? Interviews are a crapshoot anyway. Hell, I've had interviewers clearly doubt me because I took too long to dredge up mental details about projects that are ten or more years old.
Hell, one time a guy asked me something like, "tell me about the time you drove a Zamboni during an ice parade". I was wide-eyed, like, "WTF?" I had him point to the part on my resume which read something equivalent to, "delivered ice cream in a delivery truck". I mean, the mofo had *wildly* reinterpreted and misstated what was plainly on the page. Plus, I don't spend my time going over my resume endlessly (unless I've been out of work for awhile), so it's not like I'm going to have instant recall for every fucking thing on there.
Will entry level jobs fly you out for interviews? I want to get a job in Austin and I live very far away.
>Be 19yo me
>Broke
>Looking around internet for jobs
>Find website of dream job
>No postings or contact info
>Just "contact us" form on website
>Fuck it I'll just use that
>Ask for a job in 100 characters
>3 months no response
>Found other, shitty job
>Starting in a week
>Dream job sends me email to come for interview out of the blue.
>Show up at interview
>Apparently just opened new office and want to fill some seats.
>Was a rough interview. Most questions i didn't know, no experience, underdressed, etc.
>End of interview
>They ask me why i even bothered applying
>O shit.
>Sympathetic nervous system kicks in
>Give this crazy & passionate speech about my lifes ambition to work there and whatever.
>Silence
>We will contact you if you got the job
>Get call next day with job offer.
I got so many:
I never thought of getting an IT job because I only have highschool but I have always loved programming.
My first job was when I created a bot to submit my resume. I was getting interview calls for positions such a heart surgeon, stripper and even CEO to which I obviously failed the interview process. Then they call me over at a major tech company because they were needing someone who could speak english and spanish and I got hired.
But I got fired since the project I started move to another consultancy company and I was reassigned to an ERP tech support team and I couldn't get any better. Plus I was really stressed out with all the work that I decided to focus on different careers instead of IT.
One reason for me not trying to look for an IT job is that companies really work your butt off.
A tech support ( that can resolve, document tickets, verbally communicate correctly with clients and project managers, do configurations for the client, document request for changes, document problems, be attentive on the end time of the ticket, follow up on clients and their status, show up for meetings and explain your solutions ) earns as much as a truck/taxi driver and truck/taxi driver does alot less and is more relaxed than a tech-support/consultant.
>>54831611
Depends on the company. Microsoft does that.
>>54831611
It's 2016. My advice is to shop your resume around areas you're interested in, and tell them you'll be there for the week of {whatever}. Fly out and stay at a hostel, cheap motel, or AirBnb.
>>54831613
ouuhh shit thats cool, is it a tech job?
>>54830892
>making 40k a year
your "equals" are making double what you make
>>54830733
it is.
often times atelast here in europe. people will often tell you in rejection letters what they liked, what you can improve on an why the, in the end, didnt choose you.
the IT industry is extremely saturated. its not uncommon to not get a job or internship one to two years after graduation.
it took me a year to finally get a job. not because i didnt have the knowledge. but be cause i didnt have hands on experience.
degrees and certs are nothing more than glorified toiletpaper.
if you have work experience its gonna net you a job alone because employers know what to expect.
>>54831694
I don't want to work for the "big 4".
>>54831742
It's like a $800 flight, so I can only really afford to make that trip once. Ideally not pay at all.
>>54830862
glhf
>>54829525
That reminds me of that story where anon fake his team experience using stock photos
>>54831749
he said it was just an IT position and didn't even mention a location...
>>54830985
>its almost as if being able to do the job you're applying for is exactly what you need
>its that easy!
Has anyone been asked ever about what sort of movies do you watch or what books do you read? Every startup interview does that to me. Maybe because they see I'm a fucking neckbeard they want me to confess I watch anime.
>go to job interview
>"alright, for this next part, i want you to go up to the whiteboard, and write a function that returns an array of cartesian coordinate points that plot a circle"
>"you can use any language you like, but you only have 10 minutes"
>my face internally
needless to say, i didn't get the job
>>54830459
>Pic related is the Huffington Post.
Ohhhh, that explains it.
>>54830971
>these letters keep coming and coming, some curry nigger probably got the job too. Fuck H1-B, fuck desktop support, and fuck my life.
THIS.
I keep hearing about how desperate the IT world is for software engineers. It's absolute bullshit. Desperate people:
* Do not have absurd job requirement lists.
* Do not have interviews where they nitpick every last answer to every last obscure question.
* Do not leave you hanging for weeks.
* Do not turn down applicant after applicant.
I have experience from my side and info from a working relative. The chatter at his company is how "desperate" they are for programmers, but they leave positions open for months while rejecting people left and right and asking the existing staff to work late all the time.
He has told me that I am without question qualified and over qualified for a list of positions he sent me. That I could do the work no problem given my background. Fuck, I've helped him with problems he was struggling with! Rejection, rejection, rejection...and that's with someone on the inside.
"Gosh anon we are so desperate for good engineers, do you know any?"
"Yeah, relative-anon with this shit ton of hands on experience and success. Fucker can code in any language. Could probably write good code in a language he has never touched before!"
"Have him apply!"
...time goes by...
"Relative anon got rejection letters. Any idea why? What does he need to improve?"
...crickets...
The entire industry is a pile of shit. HR with their social justice. Interviewers with their egos. Management trying to hold the position open long enough that they can accept H1B applications and hire a Pajeet slave.
Wish I had become a cop.
>>54832313
isn't that just knowing what an area of a circle is?
>>54832247
They usually ask what I do in my spare time. I always lie about hanging out with friends, but I'm pretty sure they can tell I have none.
>>54826077
>extremely handsome
no
also what is his job?
>>54825723
>Apply for a mid-level position straight out of university in a frigid, desolate, remote, hellhole that no one wants to live in
>Your hired
This folks is how you get experience for better jobs fast.
>>54827423
>All of the markers were nearly dry
Applied for a System Administrator job
Interviewer = I ; Me = M
>I: can you build a PC ?
>M: Yes, sure I can
>I: So tell what parts do you need
>M: Motherboard, CPU, RAM (you name them all)
>I: Thats wrong
>I: You forgott the power
>I: So... you've set up your PC. You turn it on how. Where can you find the information how to access the BIOS while booting ?
>M: I can't
>I: Why?!
>I: I guess you don't know nothing about PCs
>M: You forgott the display... how am I able to read the info without a display
>I: You have the job.
>>54832521
Sounds like a match made in heaven.
>>54832558
kek
>>54831848
In Europe where? In my cunttree there's a lack of IT/developers.
>>54832643
germanistan.
>>54827423
>you should have moistened your markers
>do the Ainsley face and maintain eye contact with until they obey
>>54832657
The wages there are insane tho. I have relatives working as waitresses there for more money than an electrical engineer with 5 years experience would get here.
>>54832657
I guess that explains it then. 2 dudes from my school went to Germany for work because that pay.
>>54832357
They laugh at you during their water cooler breaks.
>>54832679
yes the wages are great but they conform to living costs.
german food is cheap. rents are high as fuck.
youre hard pressed to find anything for less than 1.2k a month for about 60" meters.
the upside is you make a lot of money if you do it right.
web dev? 80-100k starting.
actual software engineer? 120k starting.
but its very competitive. we have so many job requirements. the only people that are needed are very highly experienced specialists with 10+ years of work experience.
>>54830102
Brilliant!
I think I'm gonna make my own startup and use my interviews for getting the coding done..
>Hey Anon, let's check your practical skills: can you fix this code?
What do you think, how long will people stay motivated? I guess I can make them code for 2 hours at least.
>>54830985
If you got a code job with a computer engineering degree you r doing something wrong
>>54832712
they probably wont get much done in those 2 hours.
modern development is basically
>have problem
>google solution
>modify stackoverflow answer
>implement modification
>move to next problem
>>54832712
I've heard of 8 hour interviews, and yes, they were basically free work.
Just work your applicants like dogs and you don't even have to treat them to lunch.
You can also hire a bunch of unpaid interns to make your company seem legit.
>>54825723
>he doesn't use his daddys contacts to get jobs
I never had to do any interviews and now im working on Microsoft designing UI
>>54832712
it's going to backfire on you. not everyone you're interviewing will be a submissive nitwit.
>>54832803
>submissive nitwit.
"I am sorry you just aren't a culture fit for our organization." Simple fix for those people.
>>54825723
>Year 3 in a not even called CS course
>Placement time
>Fail like 5 interviews, Pilz, Pfizer, Tyco, EMC, IBM
>Get an interview for a small startup, don't give a fuck the whole way through, tell them I'll solve their problem using a database and a bit of meme magic, get the job.
>It's only 3 months as opposed to the usual six.
>Feel like shit.
>Guy who helped me look for jobs in college calls me one day saying that a little known english company called the BBC are looking for network guys for placement.
>Go talk to BBC guy, there was like 10 other students there, some I know have better grades than I do. I don't say anything for the whole talk.
>Fugg, I want this, send BBC guy an email saying I really want to do this as I have relevant experience and basically said I don't want to be a code monkey for the rest of my life, I'd rather work with networks.
>I get it without even having to an interview, and I'm the only one they took.
wew
>>54832754
>designing UI
kek
>>54832814
Don't forget that your interviewees can be wise guys as well - I record every interview of mine just in case someone tries to pull stunts of the sort, because I'm sure the press and governmental agencies willing to justify their paychecks with a big bust would love something juicy like that.
>>54825723
applying for a lot of jobs. i have had an interview for about 50% of them. they either didnt want me or after seeing their company and what i would actually be doing i didnt want the job
>>54832754
>now im working on Microsoft designing UI
And we can see the results, Pajeet.
>>54832247
this happened to me during my worst interview
>so do you have any personal projects?
>well right now my most developed project is a website that manages maplestory private servers, such as account creation, player rankings, server manipulation and other stuff
>he didn't play games but he knew I was talking about a handmade cms
>give him the link to my dev env, he seemed into the idea (it's nice to have those projects when you are applying to entry level webdev jobs, most of the time that's what you end up working on anyway)
>maplestory pictures pop on screen
>he examines the pronounced asian artwork for a second
>oh, do you like anime?
>i-i made it because i-i like the g-game, it has n-nothing to do with w-whether i like a-a-anime or no
so i ended up not giving him a yes or no which i assume is worse than a yes
i guess, if they ask you if you watch anime, it actually isn't so bad to tell the truth. at least it's kind of a hobby and implies that you are confident enough to defend the things you like, no matter how bad they're viewed by society
>>54825871
your resume is shit
>>54832899
You outed yourself as a sperg, if you are hired now expect to be hired at the lowest rate. Your tastes and lack of confidence will make them think they can low ball you.
>>54825871
Post resume with personal information removed, curious how shit it is.
>I'm a fucking high school teacher
>it's a shit job with shit pay that no one wants yet it requires a master's degree
>it's not even shit like chemistry or math, I teach English and French
>I'm literally the only male applicant
>get hired
I went to the interview in a graphic tee
>>54832899
>Not just saying you like it
>Not just saying you like Studio Ghibli stuff
>>54832803
It happen to me once, it was very weird. I was being interviewed for a medium size tech finances sort of company (or so I understood).
They started describing the project they wanted me to work in.
I listen to them and gave them my general idea about it and how I would work it out.
He throw me a piece of paper and asked me to write down the application architecture. And I did just that.
Then they started wanting more details, like "why not do like (insert stupid idea here)" instead of the regular interview question of "why did you choose to it this way?". I started explaining it to him, but it seemed very weird to me.
I told them they said the interview was 45 minutes max and if they wanted more details they would have to hire me.
The dude got really pissed and said they needed to be sure if I was the "right fit for them", I then repeated: "if you want more details you have to hire me". He then asked me to leave.
3 weeks later he calls asking if I wanted the job, I told him I didn't but agree to meet the him and the "CTO" for coffee.
The dude told me one of the engineers was fired for being shit and described the application architecture to me. He started praising the hows and whys of the design "he" did.
It was a carbon copy of what I drawn, and the reason he gave me were basically the same I told the dude that interviewed me. I was furious, I looked at the other guy with my "do you think I'm stupid?" face.
I told them I was very disappointed on what they did, they were probably a decade older than me at the time. They just look at me mumbling what to say.
TL;DR Your work is your craft, you are an engineer. Your employers are not making you a favor, and don't lick the shoes of anybody (unless they are actually a big good company like Apple, Google, Cisco, Oracle or related)
>>54825890
> Marketing department is full of girls
> they hire cute boys as temps all the time
> they will only hire perm women uglier than themselves
No wonder why chicks get paid less than men when full grown, educated women behave like that.
When I select candidates, I can literally tell who's the best candidates by looking at the languages they know and things they've made.
>>54832939
>implying you can't find personal info if you have everything else
I hope you're not employed.
>>54832946
>I went to the interview in a graphic tee
you say that like it's edgy or something. literally everyone in tech wears t-shirts.
unless you meant you wore a PORNOgraphic t-shirt, this is like saying "I WORE SHOES AND I GOT THE JOB PEOPLE! LULZ LULZ
>>54830517
Do some Networking technician work
>>54833055
I'm sorry, like I said I work in a field that does not generally employ autistic weeaboo sperglords so for me it was interesting
>>54831069
Should've agreed, get the job, then stand her up
This is just the internet thing where you only hear the worst stories right? Not every job/company is a complete shit show... right
My 100% experience:
1st interview :
-written tests, coding/debugging/predicting outputs with pencil and paper
-score 100/100, finish well before maximum allowed time
-short non-tech interview with 2 guys
-instantly hired -> first job at companyX
2nd interview:
-interview with 2 technical guys, lots of questions about .NET, do great
-interview with HR bitch and personality tests, no idea about how I did
-interview with boss: "my contact at company X says you're really good" fuck yeah
-instantly hired -> 2nd job
I've had a few 'how do you deal with conflict' and workplace problem solving questions in the shitty part time job interviews I've done. But is there any default tech specific questions that always seem to crop up?
I've applied for a couple of jobs in my governments defence department, one of which is a graduate recruitment program with a long ass interview process. I mean I feel like I have a decent chance already since I have a part time kind of IT related job, about to get the relevant degree and my brother works there which means I should be a near guaranteed pass for the security check they do there. All I need is some good interview skills and for my CV and cover letter to carry me for a bit.
Is fizzbuzz more than a meme?
>>54833074
for someone that claims to be relatively socially conscious, you're incredibly unaware of the tech scene and the stereotypes surrounding it.
>>54825723
> be girl interviewing at Google
> walk in to interview
> interviewer directs my to couch
> walk out with job
Wew. I thought getting a job was hard.
>>54833350
>> interviewer directs my to couch
i also to have the second english language
>>54833350
porn interviews dont count
>>54833350
>she thinks she was at Google
>>54832969
I work as a financial planner.
My male boss rejects men based on attractiveness too. Only hires hot women.
Pisses me off desu. How the fuck am I supposed to work in this environment without some nice twink ass to stare at all day?
>>54833253
Oh boy, are you in for a surprise.
>>54833492
Does he hire uglier guys than him on purpose?
>>54833253
Yeah, sure, just the Internet. Don't worry anon. It's just the worst stories.
Are you all mainly Americans?
Do Europeans lie on their resumes? I'm Dutch and I would be way too paranoid to lie about something like that. Seems like if you have to lie in your resume, you haven't properly prepared yourself for your career.
>>54833532
>>54833638
Literally every fucking career path is shit according to you guys.
>>54833773
welcome to 4chan where everything is shit, especially the right choices
>>54832349import math
def circle_points(x, y, r, count):
points = []
for i in range(count):
theta = (2*i*math.pi) / count
points.append((x + r*math.cos(theta), y + r*math.sin(theta)))
print(points[i][0])
print(points[i][1])
return points
circle_points(0, 0, 2, 32)
>>54833773
>Literally every fucking career path is shit according to you guys.
Plenty of good career paths...outside IT.
IT might be worth a shit if anyone ever sends all the Pajeets home and requires a percentage of work be performed in America for any product sold in America.
>inb4 lolbertarians and cuckservatives argue
I was an idealistic 12yo once to.
>what is nodejs
>Do u play chess
70k job
What causes the apparent shittiness of the IT sector?
Did it happen because nowadays you can google an answer to almost anything so now basically anyone can code?
This is some really cruel shit, people bust their asses off for some paper, get too old and overqualified for entry level jobs in other fields while can't get an job in their fields.
>>54834022
So should I go back to mechanical engineering?
>>54834088
>so now basically anyone can code?
Not exactly, but there are a lot more people that are coding now that shouldn't be coding at all. So IT is shit because there are so many shitty coders you might have to work with/whose work you might have to constantly redo
>>54829847
>>if the job posting says 3 years experience, only apply if you have 2-3 years experience at least. same for positions you over-qualify for, don't apply.
>>stretch the truth but don't go too far
Despite what the Internet keeps saying, this has been my experience as well. Literally if you do not meet the approximate criteria for the job description then you might as well as throw your application into the trash.
>>54834105
I don't know what the field is like for that. But IT sucks right now despite the "we're desperate for programmers!" meme.
Try to find out what's really happening in other fields, and choose the one with the most stable career path.
If I could go back I would have gone into something really stable, some form of decent paying gov work. I probably couldn't handle being a cop...maybe a firefighter. But knowing you'll have good, steady, increasing pay and benefits for 40-50 years is gold. And that is a much better life then IT.
I probably still would have been involved in computing some how. I just would have taught myself everything and made some shareware or something on the side.
>tfw private American companies used to offer stable long term careers
>>54825723
As a interviewer
> be me, senior dev
> company looking for junior/mid devs
> "anon, you will be conducting 2nd technical interviews"
> "k"
> next 2 months is eternal hell
> people come to the interview late, are mostly not prepared, cancel 1 hour before or just don't show up
> it's k, I get paid anyway heh
> when they appear most of them are braindead
> 6 years of experience (2x what I have), can't describe MVC pattern
> mid levels can't explain HTTP request road through the application
> NO ONE has ANY side projects EVER
> start asking people to bring their laptops for small 10 minutes coding challenge
> people don't bring it on purpose, forget about it or "will not code during the interview"
> tfw I only wanted them to explain to me how would they implement solution for very simple problem (with formal solution PROVIDED by me)
> one person finishes this simple task
> employ him as senior
Never. again.
>be me
>first year of CE
>apply for government system architect job
>fill my resume with bullshit buzzwords like MVC, Spring, iOS experience
>literally write fizzbuzz on resume
>fast forward one month
>recieve offer
>top kek
>draw some UML shit on interview and spout some vhdl memes they never heard of
>recieve job
>mfw im now in charge of 160 developers and three projects
>pretend to be busy all the time while shitposting
why's everyone here a CS major? I thought CS was for pajeets? I switched out of CS because you guys told me to
>>54834508
>familiar with MVC, Spring, iOS, fizzbuzz
maybe I'll add something like this to my resume just to see if i can get away with it
>>54834351
It just seems like any kind of job you can get with a university degree is unstable, though.
Too many (shit) programmers.
Too many engineers (need 10 years experience).
Too many lawyers.
The only thing that's pretty much guaranteed is medicine and it's too late to try and pursue that. Not to mention the cost and time.
>>54834592
>it's too late to try and pursue that
the field itself or if the person themselves if they're already 30 or whatever?
There's still jobs for pharmacists everywhere so long as you're willing to relocated so I'm sure MDs are fine and probably still have too much work.
>>54834509
you got memed on
>>54834509
>listening to /g/
They tricked you anon, I'm sorry.
>>54832313
Bloody hell - this is literally middle school math.
Circle equation
X = r cos(t)
Y = r sin(t)
Assuming my country coordinate system, it doesn't matter in long run.
R radius, t goes from 0 to 2*pi
>>54829525
Censor personal info and post your resume. If we don't have something to work with, then we can only insult you.
>>54835069
How is it even possible to have a bad resume? Bad as in stilistically or bad as in having no experience and studies?
>>54832384
Investment banker or something. I'm not 100% but he is quite wealthy.
>>54834592
Getting an accounting degree AND becoming a CPA is still guaranteed employment. (The degree alone is not enough) Both accounting firms and businesses adore the CPA license.
The downside is that accounting is boring as fuck busywork, and the few remaining accounting graduates who have the willpower to go for the CPA license lose their souls in the process because of how dry the material is.
>>54825723
>describe yourself in 3 words
>what are your strengths and weaknesses
>how will you contribute to the team
>what do you do in your spare times
>how do you spend time with friends
>where do you see yourself in X years
>who do you admire the most
been to 5+ interviews in local big known IT companies for a developing position, same questions everywhere, gave generic boring answers
failed them all, since I'm an autismo and interviewer is usually a blonde HR girl
wtf is this shit
>>54835611
I mean bad as in poorly made.
You'd be surprised the kind of shit people make. Just like with everything else, remember that the average person is an idiot, and half of the population are under average.
>>54835611
>>54835847
Also, well, tech knowledge and skills is a thing, writing and communicating in general is a different thing. You can be great at one and awful at the other.
>>54832344
Yea I had good luck because the actual IT Department where I work looked at my resume and interviewed me and bypassed HR completely.
And it's ironic because getting an IT job in Vegas is a nightmare because usually 4 hotels are owned by the same company and you can only apply to one of them and go through the parent company's HR department. And if they don't like you you just blew your chance at 4 properties with one interview.
>>54834925
I mean just in terms of my age, I think it's a bit too late for me to think about a career in medicine at this point.
Also around where I live there are too many pharmacy graduates and hence many find themselves barely getting paid above normal retail wages.
>>54835732
Took an undergrad accounting course before and it made me want to die. It is without a doubt the most boring subject you can study.
Well, thanks for the replies folks. Each day the idea of killing myself becomes more and more likely. I'm gonna keep trying but if/when all hope is lost I'll order my helium tank.
>>54825723
Wrote fizzbuzz, interviewed a binary tree, got the job
>>54833894
nigga do you even python?import math
def circle(x, y, r, c):
return [(x+math.sin(2*math.pi*i/c), y+math.cos(2*math.pi*i/c)) for i in range(c)]
>>54833492
>tfw you'd probably stare at me all day
W-wanna be my sugar daddy?
>>54827423
Bring your own markers
Every interview I've been to I've got the job. Confidence. Blag your way in and learn on the job
>>54834351
you could become a cop or fireman what the fuck are you saying???
how little do you make and how bad are you at code monkeying?
>go to interview for intern programmers
>get down talk for 1h
>interviewer: the code on your github is bad
>me: what about the code is bad?
>interviewer: i don't know, i don't remember
>me: in which repository it was?
>interviewer: i don't know, i don't remember
>me: at least in what language?
>interviewer: i don't remember, do you know how many code i look a day?
>me thinking: you fucking with me mate?
>>54830838
>200 questions
Were they all trivia or some stupid shit like that?
>>54835732
If you are both a CPA and have development experience you can make mad cash.
>>54834509
There are assholes here who want to "eliminate the competition", if they were good they wouldn't need to resort to such tactics
>>54825723
>3 interviews. I am still in university
All of them was pretty much; "When can you start?". Which is nice and all since I got the jobs, but also a bit disappointing to be honest.
What are good interview questions to ask fresh grads?
I was thinking
>basic stuff about database indexing, joins, query optimization
>deadlocks, semaphores
>something about functional programming
>cs fundamentals such as dick around with a binary tree e.g. find the lowest common parent node, and ask them what complexity their algorithm has
>some dynamic programming problem
>something about TCP e.g. congestion control
>something about why dynamic arrays are usually faster than linked lists
>ask them how they would implement google maps (routing etc.)
>ask them to invert a string in place
>explain the linux memory model (process address space layout)
>>54830785
Everybody and their mother thought the tech field meant a guaranteed job, so no it's gotten super competitive because everyone's trying to get it on it. Also, hiring pajeets has been causing problems too.
>>54836341
Are you black?
Maybe they should just re-work the standard HR system and stop hiring dumb blond white girls who know nothing about the positions themselves?
>>54835837
>where do you see yourself in X years
When this meme pops up i immediately realize im not getting the job no matter what.
Anyone in here that works for HR ?
Please explain what purpose do these question serve besides the usual "bullshit your way into charming the interviewer".
>>54836653
>some dynamic programming problem
That'd probably fuck me over, but a good list otherwise imo.
>>54836841
Being good at handling people is a skill of itself. A workspace of charming, skilled people is better than a workspace of socially inept, skilled people.
>>54836653
Depends on what you're hiring them for senpai.
Some grads are going to be shit at some parts and good at others, but if they're good at the parts you're looking for then they're fine.
For the general list I'd ask them something to do with OO programming and/or MVC. I know being asked one of them would certainly piss me off.
>>54836888
So the end goal is to hire someone good at lying and manipulating his away into anything?
Also your being paid to do a job not to be some clown amusing all your coworkers now is it?
I guess im too autistic to comprehend these social and moral interactions that normies so much value.
>>54836987
Yeah, talking to people makes things happen. One of the guys that works in our scheduling department always approves me for vacation time, just because my dad sold him a car.
>interview for structural engineering
>Sit in interview
>8/10 azn
>I'd like you to go through this test
>10 pages long
>1st page -densities of materials
>2nd page - draw a spiral staircase with a height to radius ratio of (some ratio)
>3rd page - For the staircase you drew on page 2, draw 1plan, one elevation and describe a cost effective way of producing the stringer.
>4th page - write down the Euler buckling load equations for these support conditions
>5th page - what is the moment curvature relationship for these support conditions
>6th page - the shear core of this tower block has a base shear of x and a base wind moment of y. How much reinforcement is required for a core of x dimensions - suggest a method of reducing the reinforcement for the raft slab it sits on.
It just got worse and worse. Shit took me an hour.
Luckily I'm a drawfag and a maths fag. They interviewed me Thursday afternoon and they rang me up Friday 8am to give me an offer for 25% more than anyone else.
>>54830207
what job?
>>54829525
>>54825871
let us see your fucking github!
>>54825723
>be white
>dont get the interview
>>54832958
good read man.
this is one of those rare times where a leddit upvote button would actually be approporiate.
>>54831745
no, he monitors the fryer system at his local mcdonalds. Makes sure the burger patties in and patties out ration remains at 1:1
I have had a number of job interviews recently that went poorly and did not result in securing employment.
I started to think I needed to do something during an interview to really stand out, be impressive, unique, and highly memorable. I thought it could be risky, but might work out.
I came up with the following idea: After concluding the interview, after the hand shakes, etc, when leaving the room stop, turn around, and say "There's one more thing you need to know about me."
Then pull out a bottle of hot sauce, down the entire bottle, slam it onto the ground and say "I can handle the heat." Nod confidently, leave the room.
Boom.
I imagined that they would be really impressed and wowed by such a performance.
Well it didn't pan out like I thought it would. It was only a small bottle of hot sauce, I figured it would be no big deal to actually do. I should have tested at home first, but I didn't.
I was nervous as a bitch-ass during the interview, but I was determined to follow through with the plan. in my life.
I didn't get the job.
>>54837437
So I started exactly as described above. I was leaving, I turned around, maybe not with as much swagger as I'd imagined in my head, and I declared "There's one more thing you need to know about me."
I pulled out the hot sauce bottle, almost dropped it, and started to open the bottle. In my head it was all one quick confident motion, like an electric Indiana Jones, but instead I fumbled around and had a tough time getting it open. It felt like a nightmarish eternity but was probably only about 20 seconds. Enough time for one of the interviewers to ask me what I was doing.
I didn't answer directly. Instead, after I got the bottle open, I repeated "There's one more thing you need to know about me." (But stuttering.)
Then I guzzled down the entire bottle of hot sauce. I instantly regretted it. My mouth and throat felt like lava was swirling around inside me. I immediately started to gag and loudly cough, I was crying involuntarily. Tears hardcore streaming down my face. I was sweating like a terrible fool.
I desperately tried to scream "I can handle the heat" but just kept coughing before I could get anything out.
The interviewers were all standing up looking at me in horror and confusion.
A few seconds before I threw up all over the floor I knew it would happen, but I tried to hold it back. I couldn't.
I threw up all over the floor. It hurt as much on the way out as it did on the way in, if not more so. The vomit felt like flaming barbed wire shredding its way through my neck.
I should mention a disturbing amount of fiery mucus was also leaking out of my nose uncontrollably.
After I finished throwing up I could not bear to look at the interviewers. I hoarsely mumbled an apology and started to stumble as quickly as possible out the door.
I have never been more shamed
This entire thread is a shinning example of why capitalism needs to be destroyed.
I mean seriously what are they going to ask for next? A public masterbation session? A stool sample perhaps.
>interviewer asks for your facebook password
>>54837449
/g/ incarnate
>>54826348
>making themselves look smart
There's that saying, "A Players hire A Players, and B Players hire C players."
If you're mediocre and you're insecure about it, you hire idiots to make yourself seem smarter by comparison.
>>54836987
Most people put feelings before rational thought. Of course charming, even if half fake, is often better valued than greater skill or knowledge.
Doesn´t mean it´s good, but that´s how most people work.
And come on, it´s not that hard to at least look well adjusted but reserved. There´s a big range between being socially inept and being a social butterfly.
>>54836653
you forgot to mention the job is $2.50/hr under the table updating archived static geocities pages to newer keyword meta data
>>54836841
Even though its completely illogical the correct answer is: im a hobbyist who set up my own server at home so that in 1-2 years I can move up to twice the money.
they EAT THAT SHIT UP when you say you have no certs no background but you have a server at home that you can show them is online (Serving up a basic static page with your contact info) especially if its irrelevant to the job they seem to really respect people who arent from IT and just want to make money.
>>54832958
This has been my experience at every level from entry level contractor to management level. there is always someone clueless making twice your salary that is going to steal every idea you will offer (as well as communication people who will let you rewrite their inaccurate communications, etc, etc). People are scum they only care about themselves.
>>54836360
The new BYOM paradigm
>>54825723
>Went to 10 interviews
>get 5 offers
>reject them all
>become neet
>>54826285
Kouvola mainittu, Seppälän lipan alle tappelee! Jonnet ei muista.
>>54834374
Wait you are a senior dev after 3 years? What kind of shit company are you working for Bob.
I've got only around 15 months myself but where I work all seniors have like 6-7 years of experience at least.
>>54838837
>implying you even got a single interview
>>54839126
I basically ran on noopept and adhd pills for first 2 years. Also before that I worked as sysadmin so I already had a lot of experience with dev stack management.
ALSO London has zero requirements for devs lol
>>54833323
This. There are plenty of "normies" in the tech field.
>>54825755
Keep it up son, you'll eventually find a company so desperate that will hire u
>>54836743
>black
GTFO SJW
>>54831215
It does not. If the compiler doesn't recognize that the data is continuous, it does what you said. If it recognizes it, it can use MIMD to do it faster.
>>54826127
>not being able to explain your clever solution
That was your problem
If you can't convince others that your godtier code is better than regular solutions, then there's really no need to complicate the answer.
Wouldn't hire u either
>>54837727
Nigga, we A players only hire A+ players.
Many of you guys mention dumb HR girl that knows nothing about development thus you didn't get the job because of her.
Seriously, wtf? I've been on couple of interviews. Bitches at HR - they were surely there.
But the only stuff HR blondes were asking was smthing like:
-Tell me about your previous jobs (university when I was still a student)
-Do you like traveling and how much would you like to earn.
Afterwards I got the real industry related interview with an actual Engineer.
What the hell is wrong with you? I can't believe that most of us are ugly as fuck retards, and even IF that dumb HR bitch is responsible for hiring at least some engineers not only chads. As long as you aply to a real company.
