So the era of consumer augmentation tech is finally starting. First you could get magnet implants, then an implant for lighting up tattoos and body mods. Now you can get this device that sits on your skin, is held in place with barbells, and gives you a constant, intuitive sense of North.
What augs do you wanna get /g/? Which ones do you think are next?
inb4 I never asked for this.
I never fucking asked for this and why would you ever fucking need it?
It is completely pointless.
>>54791197
or i could just get a fucking compass.
>>54791197
Swiss army knife for a penis
>>54791197
My favorite augmentation technology available today is fake boobies. Transhumanism sure is great.
>>54791315
>>54791197
Waiting on the one that allows me to have different species cocks.
>>54791197
A vibrator in my dick
>>54791217
> why would you ever fucking need it?
For the same reason you'd need any sensory organ - it tells you stuff about the world on a level you can feel subconsciously as opposed to having to think about.
Well, it would be nice if my asshole had Bluetooth. Bluetoot if you will.
>>54791448
>not Browntooth
You had one job.
I want a robotic arm. Always have, always will.
>>54791519
>not Lootooth
>>54791354
There's a dude working on that actually. His name is Rich Lee I think?
>>54791556
Replacement with more functionality or additional arm? If the latter, where do you want to mount it?
I'm personally a big fan of the double right arm style. Pic somewhat related.
>>54791197
>What augs do you wanna get /g/?
I'd like an internal display/inputs that I can use for texting people.
>Which ones do you think are next?
Something fucking retarded like magnet implants, an implant for lighting up tattoos and body mods, or a device that sits on your skin, is held in place with barbells, and gives you a constant, intuitive sense of North (which will get fucked once the poles shift anyways).
>>54791621
>not a third leg mounted on your chest for kicking people in the jaw
get some taste, faggot.
cyber eyes because my natural eyes are shitty, and maybe I can get some extra shit like mechanic zoom or infrared.
>>54791621
A replacement with more functionality.
If I could get the additional arms, I'd get two more pairs and become some sort of man spider.
>>54791197
bulletproof skin
skinproof bullets
I would like an NFC implant where you put all your preferences about people and like if you come near a potential sexual partner your penis will vibrate.
If you come near a potential friend or enemy your body could be alerted in some other way.
Not sure how to enforce honesty in how you profile yourself, perhaps it could pull from Facebook or some nsa database for info to make its own profile for you
Really all I want is a bi-directional BCI. I'll write my own UIs just for the love of god expose the data in a way I can understand. I wanna code faster and feel my computer's pulse.
augmentations are BOTNETS
Nothing, I don't want to be part of the Jewish botnet.
>>54791866
Probably won't be too long now. A decade maybe? The interface and keeping the things powered are the troublesome bits, not the actual mechanical engineering.
I won't lie, I'd wear one of those if I was missing an arm.
>>54791197
aug that allows me to remotely control my computer with hand movements and gestures.
>>54791923
do you know the nfc range is like 1cm
>>54792139
maybe they could have it improved so the range is in a small circle around your body?
>>54792093
Leap Motion? kek
>>54792139
Right before insertion u can know
>>54792161
Their tracking has gotten lots better recently, although it's still barely 'good enough'. It's all machine learning stuff so it'll improve as they keep training it.
>>54792139
RFID then.
>>54791315
Fake boobies with Bluetooth compatibility
>>54792200
maybe they could put vibrators in breast implants too.
>>54792181
Huh, I did not know this. I only remember the disaster launch. I'll have to check it out then. Their premise is very interesting if they can live up to it.
One to sense positive disposition towards you, feel a special tingle when it rises, until then, I'll always asume it is bad and getting lower by the minute, just being cautious
Tentacles coming out of my torso, out of my back would be cool but might make sitting in a full back chair awkward so I'd settle for under my arms. Naturally, I'd also have a prehensile octocock with suckers.
>look at sun
>know where north is
wow that was hard
>>54792251
Holy shit, the autists are beginning to understand how normal humans function.
>>54792294
Great if you know the time of day and relative position of the sun due to seasons and your position. If not, you could be off by a potentially fatal amount. There's a reason why we use compasses.
An actually useful augment would be a small, self-regulating insulin pump to cure Diabetes
>>54792344
now this is a good fucking idea.
>>54792344
The problem is refilling it with insulin. The future is recombinant cells inside a semi permeable membrane that allows glucose and insulin to traverse it but prevents immune cells entering and recombinant cells leaving.
>>54792375
i heard at a certain version of the tuberculosis vaccine reversed the effects of type one diabeetes
>>54792344
There are people working on this as well as other solutions. I remember reading about encapsulating the insulin producing cells in an artificial membrane, which is huge to type one diabetics and much, much better than a self regulating pump.
>>54792418
I don't even begin to imagine how that would make sense
>>54792418
I've read the study and it's usually considered a poor idea to inhibit T cell activity.
>>54792344
Great, give all the fatties with type II another excuse to not lose weight
>>54792375
or maybe just 3d print a new pancreas
>>54792668
If it's autoimmune diabetes (type I) then the body will just attack the new one.
>>54792675
not if you use foreign stem cells
>>54792344
I got it, we can call it a pancreas. We'll make mullions baby millions.
lab grown monstercock
>>54791197
There are tribes of people who always have an innate sense of compass bearings.
They do not have relative directional words like left/right/behind you/etc.
If someone asks "where is my pen", they would reply "to your North".
Due to this, they are always 100% aware of bearings.
"With North Sense, you’re given back an ancient sense of direction. Sensing the North connects you to earth, space and the continuous flow of the Earth’s magnetic field.
North Sense is a miniature Artificial Sense, vibrating each time it faces the Magnetic North. Your North Sense will not depend on an internet connection and will come with a dedicated app so you can make personal adjustments. It’s a standalone artificial sensory organ, coated in the highest quality body-compatible materials.
Fitting North Sense to the body is not complicated and requires the installment of two dedicated surface-to-surface barbells. Its small size and unique design makes sure North Sense will co-exist comfortably with your body.
In a few months, you’ll be able to experience new memories, maps and life moments, created and influenced by a new spiritual layer—your North Sense."
w
>>54795587
*what a load of wank
>>54791801
i second this...eyes that never go bad.
is simple biological immortality too much to ask for? i mean its not an implant but considering google put several billion into it may actually happen and unlike these silly implants it would make a fuckin difference.
Hey guys, did you know about these white dots in the sky. I am just finding this out. Well, you can actually use these white dots to find north. I am just finding this out.
There's also this big floating ball in the sky, usually there when you can't see the white dots. Tip for you guys - don't stare at this one, it really hurts. Anyway, it turns out, you can use this orange ball thing to find out north as well. I am just finding this out.
>>54795587
And here I hoped it would give you some innate sense of direction. It just buzzes your skin like you just got a text message.
>>54791197
A constant vibrator on my prostate
>>54795606
>>54796569
This, how bothersome it'd become when driving and masturbating.
>>54796206
>>54796225
i like you
>>54791197
I want all of 'em I'm already putting money aside hoping that its a possibility in my life time, I assume its only going to be for the wealthy.
So far I've saved 750k AUD.
I'm most keen for robot legs and arms though, then after that replacing all the organs that can be replaced. If we can get intuitive interfaces I'm down for extra limbs too.
Feet with locking wheels would be good too, so on uneven terrain the wheels lock and theyre feet, but on smooth terrain you can just use wheels.
>>54791197
So it's just fucking compass? Bring something actually useful that I can't replace by carrying smartphone.
>>54792344
I would need something like this for alcohol and weed.
>time to get fucked up and rack up my injector to 11
I thought you were talking about Steyrs, and I was thinking to myself "They aren't THAT popular"
Depending on how this "north sense" thing works I'm going to call it shit.
It's probably shit though.
Bring it anywhere near a generator or a big motor and it's going to totally fuck up.
Essentially that means if you're in a commercial building, it's totally going to fuck up.
Same goes for analog compasses too.
>>54791197
>Now you can get this device that sits on your skin, is held in place with barbells, and gives you a constant, intuitive sense of North.
some guy in >>>/diy/ posted videos of injecting himself one of these devices (and, I suppose, he made the device himself)
I bet the guy is reading this thread...
while the idea seems cool and interesting, I'm sure as hell I wouldn't want to put any shit in my skin. thanks but no, thanks
>>54797001
its pretty fucking useless when you could just get a gps device on some system that you trust not to be tracked with.
I'd like a self sealing tap for my vein that can be used to inject drugs into a dedicated port. Maybe even a build in reservoir with controlled release functionality.
I know these ports already exist, but they are hardly ever used except for terminally ill patients at the end of their life.
I'm thinking something like a dime sized rubberized polymer port somewhere, where a liquid substance can be introduced without having to pierce skin. The same port should also be capable of having some device attached to constantly monitor venous blood for various specified parameters.
I want to have an app on my smartphone that tells me my current level of plasma fentanyl concentration, and a setting that allows me to set a target concentration that is automatically maintained.
As a chronic pain sufferer, maintaining a steady level of narcotics in your bloodstream is incredibly difficult.
It would be nice to have a cartridge based system or even an implanted reservoir of high powered opioids that keeps your plasma concentration steady around the clock.
Actually i just saw a tattooo tat could change on demand and even do simple animations
>>54797049
you could put it into your jugular and have the port at the base of you neck, have the device be somewhat deep implanted into your chest so that it sits under your collar bones and isnt disturbed by movement, then run a pipe that terminates at the base of your neck, vaccuum seal it so that the liquid doesnt get stuck on the way to the blood stream.
>>54797087
Yeah, something like that. With a wireless charging implant as well, I suppose it could also fulfill the function of a vital sign monitor.
>>54797296
its pretty intrusive though, I guess I didn't think of that.
>>54791197
Stupid, costly, pointless, dangerous and reeks of hipster.
>>54791354
>mfw
>>54797303
Best we currently have for that purpose are transdermal patches, which are far from ideal.
A miniaturized implant with a replenishable reservoir of something extremely potent that is smart and responsive to current conditions in the body is the Holly grail.
These bad boys right here. Mod them up with different extrusions for running on ice/snow/loose dirt, etc.
>>54797324
not american, what is a hipster?
>>54797369
Someone who pretends to like things that aren't cool to be "ironic" and therefore cool.
>>54792220
now that's something
we should make a kickstarter
>>54796206
>>54796225
>indoors
Imagine......
>>54797359
Transdermal patches are not ideal because they don't deliver at a constant rate, there is no real way to know how much active ingredient is left, swapping patches leads to drops in plasma concentrations, they change how much they deliver based on environmental conditions, and take a long time to start acting.
The closest thing to the implant method we have is computer controlled perfusion, which is far from portable, and doesn't have sensors reading out current plasma levels.
>>54791556
>*unsheaths super strength robotic arm*
>"psssh nothing personnel kid"
>>54797406
When I was 12 I used to roleplay in Yahoo Chat user rooms and once I played a guy with two robot arms who was extremely emo about it and also raped women.
>>54797049
>self sealing tap for my vein that can be used to inject drugs into a dedicated port
That's called a venous catheter, and it's a fantastic way to get an antibiotic-resistant bacterial sepsis in the long term.
>>54791197
extremely powerful electromagnets in my knuckles that i can switch on and off at will so i can fuck up augfags' expensive tech with one swift jab
>>54792220
Pretty sure you can fit a small computer on one boob and the battery on the other. It could be used for, idk, getting a pulse everytime you get a text message or other notifications you could configure thru the phone app.
Too bad there's no male equivalent that wont look too unnatural. I mean fake boobs are pretty obvious most of the time but girls with big boobs do exist, and I don't want to take hormones just for a shitty gimmick.
>>54792776
You do know why we suppress the immune system of transplant recipients, right?
>>54797413
I'm not talking about a catheter. I'm talking about something permanently wired in with a self sealing port just under the skin.
>>54792344
Or maybe, idk, a device that sends a small electric shock to the hearth when the beating rhythm slows down or stops.
This could potentially save lives. Great for people with hearth problems.
>>54791402
The amount of people that would need a constant bearing of north is miniscule.
The amount of people that need a constant bearing of north and will happily put a foreign object in the body is almost an oxymoron. They're not that stupid.
>>54795587
>With North Sense, you’re given back an ancient sense of direction. Sensing the North connects you to earth, space and the continuous flow of the Earth’s magnetic field.
So it's like consumerist version of having long hair and walking barefoot?
>>54797506
Sounds more like they can't market it anymore than a compass and are touching on holistic medicine marketing.
tfw applying for phd in neuron computer interfacing. I'll probably get the spot
we future now
>>54797049
Why not just an instant orgasm button, you can control it thru the app and cum everytime you feel like it without straining your arm.
You could supplement this with a pain button so you can discipline yourself for , say , quit smoking. You reward yourself everytime you avoid the cig and punish everytime you think about it.
>>54797464
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Port_%28medical%29
>>54797482
Great idea. Personally I propose a metallic implant in the knee for elderly people with arthrosis, that could make them walk smoothly again.
>>54797553
So basically pic related?
Why not strain my arm smashing the nut button instead and have endless orgasms?
>>54797447
Store a computer inside your ballsack.
>dude, why do you keep grabbing your balls?
>im hacking the mainframe
>>54797049
This is a stupid way to control chronic pain. What you want for pain relief already exists in the form of spinal cord stimulators.
>>54797639
The device wouldn't be inside your balls, but near the prostate, which could be accessed thru your back so you'd be having a wire coming out of your lower back.
Alternatively, a brain implant that stimulates it to produce dopamine
>>54797553
This has been done in rodents. They die. They keep stimulating themselves to the exclusion of everything else including food and water. if you think you would be any different you are a fool.
>>54797553
so... Molly?
>>54797715
>implying I don't want to die out of self pleasuring myself
>>54792200
Fake boobies are actually battery implants
>mfw everyone has tits in the future for 80k mah on the go
>>54797715
>This has been done in rodents. They die. They keep stimulating themselves to the exclusion of everything else including food and water. if you think you would be any different you are a fool.
It'd be worth it to be the first human in history to die to endless orgasm and pleasure.
You'd probably be elevated to a demon prince by Slanesh or some shit.
>>54797798
>It'd be worth it to be the first human in history to die to endless orgasm and pleasure.
not really
http://www.mirror.co.uk/news/antje-crapnik-german-nymphomaniac-dies-1481033
>All these retard in this thread willing to exchange freedom for a new shiny toy
>>54796206
>>54796225
>sun and stars are visible all the time
>>54797798
>It'd be worth it to be the first human in history to die to endless orgasm and pleasure
This guy is already way ahead of you
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XfhmG_9ZqAs
>>54793656
Sauce? I was always curious about this.
Inb4 lepht anonym and her clan
>>54791197
>What augs do you wanna get /g/?
360 degree vision, IR vision, ability to have a web browser/arbitrary digital graphics displayed direct on my visual field + able to navigate it via thought alone, 'telepathic' control of everyday objects, robot body,
>>54798342
really are you fucking serious?
We've had a thing to find north at any given time any day of the year in most conditions
it's called a magnetic compass you fucknuckle.
Why do people have to reinvent a tool that works perfectly well with some new age internet connected alway on data slurping bullshit.
IN summary fuck you and your shitty solution to an already solved problem, that probably only exists to suck up Silicon Valley VC money as everyone tries to get on and off the rocket before it blows up and wipes out the american tech bubble
>>54799646
Wow, there really is, from what I read it's some sort of device which has a hand that always points north. You've enlightened me anon.
>>54791602
POOTOOTH is the ONLY fucking answer you shitnuggets. Jesus I'm embarrassed to be in the same species as you.
I want a switch that turns off and on my ability to get horny.
Sometimes sex/masturbation is a distraction. I want to be able to modulate it consciously.
