Work greentexts? Work greentexts
>be me, 23
>move abroad to the UK due to a great offer I received
>first 3 months I work really efficient, at least 6 hours of coding per workday
>notice they throw in more tasks in my sprints
>fuck you no, I'm past the 3 months trial period
>start goofing around, work for like 3 hours a day
>still the best performing person in team
>promote me to senior dev
>I am supposed to take a junior and train him
>post an ad, 35k GBP per year
>every single interview finishes with an facepalm after 10 minutes seeing the incompetence
>find a 54 old guy who actually knew his shit around linux, not so much about programming
>kk, u r in bro
>he got a really detailed onboarding, spent 5 days explaining things to him
>fast forward 2 months
>dude comes in at 10am, leaves at 4pm
>no one gives a fuck
>he spends like 2 hours eating breakfast, lunch
>not a single pullrequest from this guy since
>business won't allow me to talk to him
>no one does a shit
>basically free monies, he just sits on reddit
Fuck. No wonder /g/ is so elitist, you guys are fucking geniuses in comparison to engineers in the UK.
>>53079112
>you guys are fucking geniuses in comparison to engineers in the UK.
it's because engineering pays fuck all here, so people in the UK move to Germany, France, Australia or the US
UK people in general are retarded.
I mean they vote to live in an oppressive police state with no rights and no privacy.
They also vote to import hundreds of thousands of "asians" who hate the English way of life and want to turn the UK into a caliphate
>>53079112
why can't you talk to him ? and wasn't it your fault for hiring a lazy old fuck to begin with ?
>Be 16
>First job ever as a telemarketer for XM radio
>It's my job to call people whose trial is either over or about to be and try to get them to buy it
>The whole system runs on fucking PuTTY feels like trying to compute on a slice of cheese
>I get bored between calls and start fucking around on the network to see what all they bothered to lock down
>"msg" still works for some fucking reason
>Troll the shit out of co-workers sending them messages telling them to get back to work or sell more
>Do this for like 3 weeks before someone finally mentions it to one of the supervisors as a joke, and the supervisor immediately gets confused
>She asks a couple other people, everyone says they've seen at least one message in the past couple weeks
>She calls over a supervisor from another section to ask about it, the other also has no idea what she's talking about
>Walks off to the manager's office, comes back with him following
>He asks a few people about the messages they saw, it was never anything vulgar or anything so everyone's more confused than suspicious
>Watch them entire rest of my shift asking everyone in the building if they know what's going on
>The "IT guy" (AKA a manager who knows how to use PuTTY better than the rest) is not working today, they call him, get no answers, now they're really confused and the suspicion is starting to build as they wonder if we've been hacked
>Contemplate telling them because after I'm done explaining, I might be able to spin this into an opportunity to switch to a cushy job fixing their networks or helping the other guy.
>Decide it's not worth the risk of just getting flat out fired on the spot since I'm a schlubby teenager who smokes too much weed and doesn't want to work at McDonalds
>They spend the next week trying to figure out what it was, don't send any messages in case anyone gets smart enough to watch the network
>Get a call one morning from my supervisor
>>53079494
cont..
>"Hey, don't worry about coming in today, we have to wipe all the computers because Dave (the IT guy) is pretty sure we got hacked"
>Get a paid day off while they waste their time and money formatting an entire network of over 100 computers
>Go back to work the next day, lay low for like a month
>Send a message one day to all computers with some edgy bullshit in it about how it won't be that easy to get rid of me
>Watch the manager almost have a fucking meltdown when my supervisor tells him she just got a message
>I can hear him shouting in his office on the other side of the building
>Decide it's all or nothing, write a batch script to send a message to all computers constantly
>As soon as anyone clicks OK it just pops right back up
>Hear the "popup sound" going off all over the building faster and faster as people get more and more frustrated.
>People are flipping out to supervisors, the computers are so garbage that the popups are actually freezing PuTTY and stopping people from getting calls
>The manager storms out to the server room, seconds later every computer in the building turns off, he went and threw the breaker
>Tells everyone to go home, they'll be paid for the rest of the day
>Go home, barely able to contain my laughter as I leave
>Get a call the next day, don't come in, we're having a professional check our network
>Fuck yeah paid day off
>Get a call in the middle of the afternoon, come to work as scheduled tomorrow, it turns out the "attack" was somebody screwing around on our own network
>ohshit.jpg
>Wonder why I'm not fired, there's no way he couldn't tell what computer it was coming from
>>53079508
cont..
>Go to work the next morning, the manager, and some other dude are standing at my desk
>I ask them what's up, the manager introduces the other guy, it's the professional they called
>The guy asks me if I was using my computer the other day or if I've been on any other terminals
>On the spot, not enough time to bullshit, just tell him I've never used any other computer, the truth.
>The manager says "okay then you're fired."
>Fuck
>Before I leave, the manager asks my why I did it
>Tell him the job is super boring and the fact that I could even do it in the first place is his fault and a sign of his shitty priorities
>There's no excuse for a company that relies this heavily on a network to have such horrible user policies
>He asks me why I didn't just tell him
>I tell him he wasn't paying me enough to be an IT consultant
>Ask him if he wants my help since he clearly needs it
>He says no
>Leave, end up a pizza guy for a few years, now I detail cars
>This is the most anticlimactic story I could think of from my life
>>53079537
lmao, you should've just told him
>26, moved from Ireland to UK (not because I needed the work, just wanted to get away from Ireland)
>struggled at first to find work
>moved to rural Dorset area
>recruiters initially super interested
>sys admin experience previously for 5 years after graduating back in Ireland
>recruiters realise I have no drivers license
>never needed one in Dublin
>suddenly no more offers
>get a job as first line tech support for private company working for the nhs
>company is great but I'm bottom of the barrel phone monkey support
>went for internal second line job offer about one month after I started
>thought I would be a shoe in for the position
>won employee of the month that month
>nothing came of the second line position
>patiently waiting for another offer to come up
>never bothered with certs so finally looking into Network+ etc now
service desk stuff can be tedious and I do work with people who literally cannot IT but it's not actually that bad. Not as bad as some service desks can be.
>>53079585
Hindsight is 20/20. I figured he would either just brush me off or fire me on the spot.
>>53079588
get your license you fucking dip
>>53079621
I know right
>>53079585
>>53079599
tell whom? you guys are not making sense
>>53079785
tell the manager about the msg thing in the first place, before sending messages. duh.
>>53079112
>be a retard
>hire retarded people
>don't sack him during the probationary period
gg faggot
>>53079112
>no one does a shit
and why does this bother you?
why don't you just browse 4chan all day everyday, too?
>>53080157
Wheres the fun in that?
>>53079112
£35k for a junior dev? Are you a London wanker?
>>53079112
>coding
HA!
>be me 21
>not have a degree
>thinking of starting college next year
>people tell me im to old for college
>cry in a corner
>my life is ovevr
>>53079588
>move to rural dorset
>think you don't need to be able to drive becuase you didn't need to drive in Dublin
Maybe its best that you don't get a job looking after anything important.
>>53079133
>France
>engineers getting payed
Aylmoa. 1600 euros/mo as a code monkey out of school in the 2nd most expensive city.
3k/mo in paris. French engineers are getting payed 3rd world salaries breh
>>53080591
Don't listen to people who tell you shit like that.
>>53080628
Feel you bro. It's a fucking miracle if you can get a decent job with 2k
>>53080591
21 just means you are better equipped, more intelligent, and more mature to actually take advantage of your education. Also you will get more freshman chicks if you aren't an autist.
>>53080591
I started University in Australia in my mid 20s, still doing post grad and of the 5 of us I interact with on a daily basis 3 are closer to 30 than me.
For me it was super easy because all of us " old people " formed a group and just tackled all the course work super fast and didn't get caught up in bullshit drama.
>>53080591
>be me 31
>not have a degree
>just learn programming on my own because its fun
>get a webdev because its easy and fun
>paid well doing something I enjoy
>no debts or loan repayments
>>53080715
>You'll never get stalked by recruiters from Accenture/Capgemini
>>53080652
>>53080628
You're just lazy fuckers.
I got over 2k after two years in my current company. (Lyon)
>>53080774
>Lyon
Well, I sure hope you get payed more than 2k since Lyon is expensive as fuck to live in.
>>53080774
You realize people get payed twice all around western europe and 3 times that in the US right ?
>>53080823
You realize he is talking about net, not gross, right?
>>53080854
>people talking about net salary rather than gross
>ever
Don't be stupid sempai.
>>53080875
>forcing your merrican ideals upon everyone during european day time
Go to bed
>>53079494
>>53079508
>>53079537
ah, to be a stupid teenager again
could have worked that up to be a proper it manager, but nope, lets just piss them off, hehe
>>53080887
Okay well, I live in the UK, North of England, low as fuck living costs, but not exactly Silicon Valley.
My entry-level Node.js job which I got with no degree and no experience still gets me £1850 per month after tax, which is quite a bit above median income in the UK. That works out to 2400 euros per month.
So even if they're talking about net pay it still sounds like they're still getting a shitty deal and they should go somewhere else in the EU.
>>53079537
If this is not just a lie, which it most likely is. You must be the most autistic person ever. You basically wrecked all future career prospects in an industry because you wanted a giggle.
>Be me, 2 years ago at 16.
>First in for IT Repair at my school except for a senior who I actively assist, and still help to this day.
>Grab Comptia A+ certification.
>Now skip ahead to 18 after I've been on the site for three years for autistic things and computer tech
>Working at a local computer shop, getting a good pay of 400 Bucks per week.
>Buy an HP R132WM 15.6 for the basic use in school, etc.
>Install windows 10 upgrade on a 5400 RPM Drive that was stock with the laptop.
>mfw after a month, it kills the drive.
>Try twenty times to reboot it, and even try the fridgerator method to make it work one last time.
>SMART failed before, and failed after.
>Trash hard drive, and sigh.
>Look through guts of old computer and find equally powerful 4 GB ram DiMM3 style with 1788 mhz power.
>Find old WD Black 7200 RPM Hard Drive.
>Pirate Windows 8.1, and damage the case and plastic on the laptop in process of remounting the drive.
>Still running Pentium N3540.
>Still pursuing 4GB ram.
>Now owning an iPhone and using dead PCs as work benching, DDR2 Ram with MSI Chipsets to test out parts.
>Still use the Red Demon.
>mfw she's scarred and broken in many places.
>mfw she's been my most dependable laptop yet.
>mfw I still crack her open just to swap out the cording and buttons to keep it efficient after 6 months.
>mfw I've still not put her in another chasis.
Shitlord laptop, but it works boys.
>>53080966
This is a good pay. I earn 60k/pa but that's London shit. I am planning to move out to the North. Fucking recruiters only spamming jobs in London tho :/
>>53081039
I got spammed by london recuriters too. London is fine for a visit but fuck everything about living there.
Plus if I'm going to move for a job I might as well go anywhere else in the EU, I'd rather live in Berlin than London, much nicer city.
> be me. Take shitty tech job when last guy got fired.
> Office is storage room, everything there is useless old shit.
> Spend first week automating everything old guy did by
> by hand. Next month cleaning out the office. All alone.
> No windows
> No coworkers
> Good lock on the door
> I control inbound internet
> Order overpowered gaming rig with giant monitors for "workstation"
> Browse 4chan, play games every day
> GF drops by a few times a week "for my lunch"
> Only full days of work are for hardware rollouts
> Get bored of shit pay and only 2 hours of real work a week
> New job has coworkers, all offices have windows, internet is monitored.
> No more "lunches" where I have to hold my hand over her mouth
> No more picking out my own hardware
> No more full day gaming marathons
> A year after I left they haven't managed to fill
> my position. Location closes. Many lose jobs.
I make bad decisions.
>>53079112
Let me recontribute without butthurt now, different story from years back
>19 years old uni student
>no cash for survival, poor parents
>decide to find a job, at least for the evenings
>find job in callcenter
>lowest paying, most stressfull job you can imagine
>but still it's k, sit there, earn money and read books
>fast forward 4 months
>get mad at those c2d old hp pcs, user access limited, one night get admin password since it was xp
>set everything up for myself, vnc so I can access my pc, ssh to learn coding
>sysadmin finds out quickly, one morning find him and my manager standing over my desk
>fired.png
>"anon, we know you have gave yourself administrative access against company rules. However SysAnon needs help in IT department. What would you say about switching placements?"
>notfired.bmp
>pay is pretty much the same, job is 0 stress, I just prepare disk images and format failing pcs, sometimes configure new desks, play around
>fast forward 5 months
>decide the job is getting out of hand, people complaining about pcs sucking dicks, headphones breaking, telephones freezing
>decide to write a ticketing system so I can limit number of queries
>2 months of hard work, learn mysql, learn html and php
>ticketing system ver 0.1
>-60% work as we integrate it with company map with pc, pc uuid, people can only query things that have not been queried yet on given machine
>tfw it's not 48h week, it's 20h from now on
>>53081254
Find a headhunter, tell them your story. Don't exaggerate, they'll do that for you. They'll also write your resume, or help your write it. Leapfrog to something better. It wont be to straight to a 6 figure Unix admin job or anything, but it will be better.
>>53079494
>>53079508
>>53079537
>Send a message one day to all computers with some edgy bullshit in it about how it won't be that easy to get rid of me
Fucking lost it right here
11/10
>>53081025
Lol future career prospects. The motherfuckers probably would have either told me to piss off or fired me on the spot for messing around on company time. And even if they didn't, I had very little interest then and even less now in pursuing IT as a career.
It was still a dumbass moment in my life but I far from ruined anything of value.
>>53080737
Where are you from? I'm from a 3rd world shithole and get stalked by them too!
>>53084885
Unrelated third guy here, where are you from?
>>53080591
at 21? WTF? I'm 24 and going back to college next fall.
happened years ago
>be me
>cs fresh uni graduage
>apply for junior level programmer
>first project is heavy work orientation,project costing/planning,training
>fast forward 6 months project finished
>boss say wait for the next project
>do nothing, just look to my office computer shitposting on 4chan
>occasionally play cs go when alot of co workers go to day long meetings
>its been a year and 2 months now
>>53079508
>Send a message one day to all computers with some edgy bullshit in it about how it won't be that easy to get rid of me
>Watch the manager almost have a fucking meltdown when my supervisor tells him she just got a message
I LOST
FUCKING 11/10 I WAS LAUGHING FOR 5 MINS
I like these threads.
Going to be out of uni with a degree soon.
Completing courseworks that have deadlines 2+ months ahead in about 4 days each average.
can't wait to look for a job for x months.
>>53081072
>I'd rather live in Berlin than London, much nicer city.
Good thing Ahmed would rather live in Berlin as well, so you can all live there in glorious diversity.
