i gotta interview at the apple store
how do i git hired?
Make sure not to be white
Don't they hire pretty much anyone?
>>51770930
Act gay, unless you are already gay.
>>51770930
get some fake square glasses, slim fit jeans and let your beard grow. You can also say you got an altar at home honoring Stevie-J
>>51770930
Make sure you are a minority with people skills.
>>51770930
Explain how white privilege reinforces the patriarchy
do not be a cis straight white male
Don't be white. If you are, be a woman. If not, become a tranny.
If you're CIS white autistic male you have zero chance
>>51770945
>>51770985
>>51771051
>>51771037
>>51771059
>>51771011
Welp, I'm fucked
Be some sort of minority. Tell them that you are "genderfluid" or something
>>51771074
Your best bet is a mom and pop computer shop for a shitty computer job.
Don't have any muscle definition
>>51770982
http://vocaroo.com/i/s1076NupTCqR
I can try to act gay
If you aren't ethnic looking be sure to talk about your boyfriend.
Do like that British man. Say you are a lesbian woman in a man body.
>>51770982
Or..
I'll identify as an Anime shawdy
http://vocaroo.com/i/s1SHqGt1FeaY
>>51770930
if you want to join a cult, why not scientology instead?
>>51771174
I need to get shekels not give them
>>51770946
yeah, they hire anyone that's not disgusting to look at and has enough brain to learn the scripts to sell icrap to retards
>>51770930
just pretend you don't know anything about computers and you'll be qualified to work the genius bar
>>51771133
Enough, congratulations you are hired, welcome to Apple!
> Tim Coock is cute
> omg can't even windows
> can fit iphone 4 in and an working on 6
> never mention woz
Casually throw it out there that you have no gag reflex. Real subtle. If something phallic were to slide down your throat you'd probably handle it like a champ.
make sure to carry an iphone on the way to your interview
because timmy kek is watching
always