>be me
>10th grade
>have to bring laptops to school
>in comp sci class
>decide to fuck with this tard in my class
>tell him I can make his computer faster
>turn computer off
>hold f12 on boot
>take hard drive off of boot list
>return computer to tard
>tard spergs and runs to the school tech department
>screams "OMG YOU HACKER YOU'RE GOING TO PAY FOR MY NEW HARD DRIVE!!!!!"
>goes to tech
>tech laughs at him
>fixes computer
>mfw I'd do it again
Any similar stories of how you trolled your non-technologically savvy friends?
i dont have any friends
>/g/
>friends
What ?
>>46785049
>friends
wrong board.Im all alone,virgin, and 23.
>>46785063
I'll be your friend.
>>46785063
>>46785080
>>46785113
>>46785114
You're a faggot
>friends
Oh.
>>46785049
I don't know if it's safe to call him a tard. Everyone's better than someone else at something else. Like humour, if you're trolling at least make it funny in your little blog.
>>46785049
You're an asshole
>>46785049
>tard
Sorry, not everyones as 1337 as you.
Enjoy the 11th grade.
>>46785049
>print screen, desktop with icons and task bar
>remove icons and task bar
>set the screenshot as desktop wallpaper
>watch the confusion
I trolled a friend by telling him his crypto-conservative views were dogshit and to listen to some political material I recommended (Žižek) and it worked and he was interested for a while but then what he ended up taking away was that MAINSTREAM MEDIA was biased and the only reliable sources of information were the ones suggested by /pol/ and r/mensrights because they told him what he wanted to hear (white men are inherently the greatest) and now we aren't friends any more
Well this had very little to do with technology. Gomen.
>>46785049
kill yourself, OP. seriously, just kill yourself.
>>46785049
>be me
>retard tech illiterate friends with school computars
>log on school pc with users linked to domain
>shared folders on domain with previous math exams
>hey,I got a idea
>open filezilla and navigate to folder
>hai gayze I hakd school compootar and I got current exams
>everyone spergs
They still think it's the math exam for this year
>Inb4 real exam
>Wtf Is dis shiet
>>46785049
Does trolling a very tech savvy friend count?
2009ish, a friend had XP on a machine other than his main computer mostly for testing stuff and the occasional game. I made a little program that registered itself as a service called "Windows GUI Fucker Upper" as well as having a bunch of other ways it gets run so as to be hard to remove. Whenever it's activated, or on a timer:
>640x480 16 color mode
>slowest imaginable mouse speed, well slower than you can set in Control Panel
>randomly select left handed mode so sometimes the buttons are swapped
>password protected "Starfield" screen saver starts in 1 second
>ridiculous color scheme
>crazy window metrics and giant font, taskbar takes up half the screen and a title bar takes half of what's left
>move the start button to the middle of the taskbar and change its text to "CLICK HERE TO BEGIN" or similar so it's massively wide
>set a joke message in the "legal notice" box you can make it display before the login screen
>>46785327
>I trolled a friend by telling him his crypto-conservative views were dogshit and to listen to some political material I recommended (Žižek)
lol'd
>>46785049
>have to bring laptops to school
>10th grade
wut
>>46785265
fight club
>>46785511
That's why it was trolling. He is the Stallman of political philosophy: greasy autismal neckbeard who manages to be largely correct through completely incorrect thought processes. I love him, but he definitely eats his toe fungus.
I got a admin account on several school computers, so I went and activated bitlocker on all of them. Retarded IT crew didn't disable booting from Cd, now they are ripping their hair out in frustration
>domain admin pc infront of me
>shutdown -i autoexec
kak
>>46785049
Friends and I only fucked with others, we had respect for each others computer.
>8th grade
>tech illiterate faggot next to me
>decide to fuck with him
>go into notepad and do some shit that i forgot what it was but it just disguised itself af Internet Explorer and when you clicked on it a message piped up and compost would restart
>do it on his computer
>make the message look like a virus
>he does it
>freaks out
>goes to tech department
>tech department couldn't figure it out
Huh.
>>46785502
>this is hell
>you are cruel
>i like you
>mind if sharing that?
Push gentoo over domain onto tons of pcs
Not messing with friends, but still
>>46785450
>20 friends go to administration telling you ca hack into system and get exams
>school administrators are tech illiterate and freak out
>you get expelled
>your future is ruined
>>46785619
I like to think there's a website out there full of school sysadmins sharing stories of how kids kept outsmarting them in the simplest of ways.
>>46785619
>tech department
>not capable open a .bat ?! (assuming that was windows)
>>46785644
I'll see if I can dig it up in a bit. I can tell you it doesn't work on modern Windows. I ought to make a modernized version sometime.
>>46785542
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=860wrIB4PBM
>>46785049
My favorite thing to do is hit ctrl+alt+arrow key when they aren't looking, flip their screen around.
>CD on top boot order
>set bios password to zooplanktonzoophillia
>put cd in drive
>restart
Bonus points for gentoo or Ubuntu server
>>46785704
does that still work ?!
>>46785306
Rotate the wallpaper and the screen if you do so.
>>46785655
Come to think of that, really bad idea...
>>46785713
>love this thread
Simple, 42.zip and unpack here.
>>46785720
Haven't tried it on 8, but we use windows 7 at work and it still works
>>46785720
On Intel GPUs yes, unless the user has disabled it.
>>46785759
>get hidden secret admin account
>del system32 for infinite speed
We have this weird thing that the PC restart when you put a nickel key into a specific USB slot. Let's say we save files often.
>>46785770
>my thoughts
maybe this only works with international (US) - versions
>or the "cracked" one doesn't support that
>>46785696
Lmao
laptopts, forget about it.
didn't have personal comps in school.
running DOS + crap shell (school style)
required password for 'command.com'
had option to add 'menus...'
added 'clean up machine' => format /q
was 13
is unpopular
>>46785265
Nice YIFI quality faggot
>>46785797
He is the best
>Halloween
>make AHK script, it starts when browser window is activated
>she gets home from work, gets on computer
>notepad opens, it starts typing to her
>says things like, "I was once a human!"
>she just gets frustrated and fights the script
>finally gives up and mspaint opens and scribbles in red, "help me, please!"
>Halloween music starts playing
Eh, wasn't as fun as I thought it would be while I was doing it. I was hoping she'd either be legit spooked, or at least appreciated it as whimsical or fun. She just skipped all that and went straight to frustrated.
>>46785049
>friend
deprecated buttnet
>>46785877
Did he and RMS ever meet or comment on each other?
Both are interested in commons in similar ways, but I guess Zizek would make fun of RMS for being concerned with PC language.
>be in class
>shared folders
>some faggots started creating a bunch of folder in classmates' computers
>a fag did it to me
>thinks he elit h4xor
>discover that shutdown -i works
>shutdown his comp
>everyone begs me to show how I did it
>tell em later eventually
>everyone knows now
>time to take to next level
>make a "start cmd.exe" loop .bat file
>place in startup folder
>get rekt m9
>he plugs off ethernet cable in fear
>>46785113
>Im all alone,virgin, and 23.
3/3. Are you me?
>>46785700
>>46785681
>>46785644
>>46785502
Here it is:
https://dl.dropboxusercontent.com/u/9822822/WindowBreakXP.zip
The OMGHUGE taskbar part doesn't seem to work in the VM I just tested it in, but it's still pretty amazing.
>>46785961
>thanks :)
>i'll test this at work, win 7 (xp VM)
>>46785049
>1 PRINT "FUCK YOU FAGGOT"
>2 GOTO 1
>RUN
a lot of that
>>46785956
>>46785113
3/3 here too
Are you people me?
>>46786001
DEFINITELY test. I am starting to wonder if I've just uploaded the broken evil version. My VM acted weird after a reboot.
I later made a version that infects system exe files so as to be next to impossible to remove -- like, it rebuilds the exe with a new section containing itself, set to run and then run the real exe. Unfortunately it sometimes infects some files it shouldn't, resulting in varying degrees of utterly broken system.
>>46785956
>>46786029
I guess.I just want to talk to someone.You guys wanna talk for a bit on irc?
>>46785049
>10th grade
>having notebooks
what the fuck
>>46785724
hahahah, thats genius
>>46785947
Unfortunately, they do not seem to have ever commented publicly on each other, though I suspect (as you say) that Zizek would be mean to Stallman if they ever met. He has little time for the sort of preciousness Stallman tends to display.
If they could get past their awful personalities, though, they could probably do good work together.
>>46785327
comrade? do you /commie/ too? ?
>>46785049
Op you're a cerified douche.
>>46786047
>wait that could infect the pc
>from a VM ?!
>be last week
>be at computer shop in mall
>touch screen Windows 8 computers on display
>screenshot desktop and set as background
>delete desktop icons
>hide taskbar
>come back a week later
>no one fixed it
>>46786126
(I'm not that guy) however that sounds extremly unlikely. I've heard about Vmaware viruses, but that? Just disable network and everything, backup stuff and so on.
>>46786126
No, it does NOT break out of the VM. Also I don't *think* this is the evil one. I think I'm just seeing the VMware graphics card act weirdly when asked to boot in 640x480 16 color mode.
The evil one infects files in the system it's run on, checking that it's fully installed and reinstalling itself whenever you run one of the exes that it's messed with. So, if it's in a VM it will only modify stuff inside the VM -- however it usually results in a bluescreen next time you boot since it mucks up some file it shouldn't.
>>46786065
Sure but I'm terrible in making conversation. Even online.
Part I.
>4 Windows computers in the hall of my old high school, it's for students to use in the breaks.
>Students always fucked up the windows computers so they installed Ubuntu on them.
>Me and my bros start to check them out.
>We realize they just created a simple user. Reboot --> no grub password. Append init=/bin/sh to kernel params. It boots. I remount / as rw and passwd root.
>We stare in awe as we have succeeded. Now we have root. Later they made it autologin with a custom xinitrc which opened a browser only. We rooted it the same way in less than 30 seconds (still no grub password). We installed guake to have a drop down terminal on a custom shortcut.
>To commence our supreme trolling we installed hamachi, activated ssh and installed a keylogger.
>All four machines were on the same network so we often logged in into the other 3 and sent messages to the users and also used vnc to troll with them by remote controlling their computers.
>I spent a few hours sometimes, when I had no class in early morning, watching what people do on these machines and trolling them from home using vnc via hamachi.
>tfw my computer is set to boot to Hannah Montana Linux by default in case some dindu runs off with it.
>>46786221
Part II.
>We also used nmap to scan the network and we realized that the printer in the teacher's room is on the same network along with teacher computers.
>So me and my bros thought of printing a few pages of troll face. I ended up installing cups, adding the printer and printing 100 pages of ascii trollface.
>Mfw later in my english class we wrote the exam on a paper which had a trollface on it's other side. I show it to my bros in the break and we are like holy fuck. I'm actually glad that those papers haven't got wasted, just the ink.
>>46786210
#33club on Rizon.Use mibbit
>>46786187
A virus could potentially have some exploit against the actual VM monitor, which would let it break out of the VM regardless of your network and sharing settings. I haven't encountered such a thing, and I think such exploits would be particularly rare these days what with hardware-assisted virtualization.
>>46786165
Lel
I always go on /g/ and try to learn as many stuff as possible in informatics because my exfriends used to fuck up my computers with shitty things like in this thread.
I will get revenge.
>sitting next to random dude in PC class
>flips his power off with my foot
>random dude spergs out and punchs the screen
>chaos but teacher calms him while I flip power back on
>>b-but I was finished!
>>don't worry anon just re-do it once more
>mfw I flipped the power 30mins later again
>>46786267
>awesome, simple but awesome
>>46786165
My sides
>>46786165
>computer shop
>no one fixed it
lel
>>46786267
I've thought about doing this but never did.
You're my hero anon.
>>46785644
>>46786001
>>46786126
>>46786361
Why are you making normal posts entirely in greentext you fucking mongoloid
>>46786361
He actually did throw his freestyle on the floor in rage ....parts was everywhere . so mad
>>46786400
is it summer already?
>>46786223
>>46786267
My fucking sides
>>46786400
>cause i know s.o. is bothered
greetings from the internet
>Be in class
>Take screenshot of desktop
>Set it as background image
>Hide startbar and items on desktop
>Friend spends 30 minutes trying to do shit and it won't work
>Calls the teacher
>He can't fix it either
>Everyone hoots and hollers and does nothing while they try to figure shit out
One of the only positives about going to a school full of niggers
>>46786422
>s.o.
is your bf here? :3
>>46786415
It's been summer for approximately eight years, anon
>>46786430
>be at work
>co-worker unplugs mouse (don't see)
>came back to pc
>...
>boot in save mode
>overwrite registry with save
>reinstall drivers
>windows-repair-fix-program
>boot up from another win cd
>and did some other shit.
>co-worker came back "what are u doing"
>"shit don't work, done ..."
>plugs cable in
>"you can control your entire pc by a keyboard.
>not able to plug mouse in?"
>worst day in my live
>>46786439
so many faggots here
>>46785049
I did this to all of the computers in the computer lab where people went during lunch break. It took them 3 weeks to fix it and they made it so you could go into the lab with a class during instruction time afterwards.
>Like 4-6 grade
>In computer lab
>Class ends
>Unplug mouse because why not
>Next day I'm called into lab
>Apparently dumb bitch and teacher wasted too much time figuring out why it was not working
>"If you do that again you will get a detention"
>mfw
>>46786505
could only go*
>>46785961
holy shit this is great
>>46786572
>>46786583
>>46786572
I love this thread.
>>46785961
And this is the best tool ever, thx again anon
>>46785063
Same. I am not a person obsessed with Linux or anything I just come here because I'm planing to make a custom gaming PC my first.
I'm just friendless because I'm a Assburger very low on the spectrum. Used to have a lot of friends, then life became a bit shit for reasons and I found out the three people I thought where my best friends had stolen of off me.
I also used to constantly have girlfriends from the age of 3 to 12
So since the age of I suppose 12 I haven't had friends. I'm 21 now.
People feel sorry for me but I am to damaged from the lack of social interaction I won't bore any of you but I have only spent about a full year in education since I was 7.
So yeah socially interacting with people can be awkward. And I don't ever want a girlfriend because I don't ever want to be in a permanent relationship with someone nor do I relish the idea in emotionally inviting with someone when I know it's doomed to fail. As well as that just the general hassle it would be to me. My parents constantly bug me to get a girlfriend. I wish I could just tell them I'm gay to get them to leave me alone but they would still keep it up but instead try to get me a boyfriend being smug that they where right and I was gay. That was one thing they used to do bug me to come out of the closet just because I no longer show any interest in girls.
I also just don't want to be tied down. Today I could book a flight and tomorrow be on holiday in another country for a month without any issues.
BTW it's not all bad I get £12k or $18k a year from the Assburger benefits. If it wasn't for that I would have just decided to become a drifter hobo whatever.
>>46786663
NTA, is that you?
>>46786663
what didn't killed you, makes you stronger ...
hang on, you passed perfectly well
>>46786572
Really needs to change the color scheme to Hot Dog Stand. There's a theme file of that out there that works on windows 8.
>>46785049
>startup folder is in the network drive on all computers
>kek.bat
>for /L %1 in (0,0,1) do start cmd.exe
>millions of CMD prompts every time anyone logs in
>>46786663
>girlfriends from 3 to 12
lol wat
So you knew girls at that age. That's what that means.
Get outta here.
>make folder named don't open on friends desktop
>make an autorun on folder open inside that folder that opens a fork bomb batch file
>friend gets mad
>ask him why he opened "don't open"
![HotDogStand[1].png](https://i.imgur.com/FajKZ4Z.png "HotDogStand[1].png")
>>46786583
Needs the hot dog stand theme
http://dl.dropbox.com/u/9164306/Hot%20Dog%20Stand.themepack
(for windows 7)
>friend has wireless mouse
>rotate it 180 degrees while he's out of the room
>minor confusion
>at school
>put tape over the mouse sensor on someone's mouse
>he gets pissed as fuck
>checks to see if it's plugged in
>spends 5 minutes confused
>laughing
>tell him to flip over the mouse
>>46786778
Oh shit, isn't this from Windows 3.1?
>>46786752
Ive noticed that a lot of autistic fucks say this.
>>46786747
Thats pretty bad, you could always take it to next level with VBS.
>>46786778
my eyes, it hurts
>unsupervised computer lab in high school
>all computers have PSU with switches
>switch from 230 to 110
>bam
>never got found out
My domain admin likes to fuck around on my system with psexec, How can I fuck with him?
>>46786793
Yeah, I had "girlfriends" from like 5 to 13, I wouldn't count any of them as "girlfriends." Starting around 15, okay, because I actually knew what a "relationship" was to a certain point and I had a level of mental awareness that you just don't when you're fucking 10.
Good christ, how autistic? That's physically painful.
Even then, you're still not going to have a real, full relationship until you're a full-fledged adult. It's just puppy love games until then.
>>46786834
>helping building brothers PC
>talking to brother what everything does
>brother decides to use switch on PSU while it's on
Good thing it was the old shit PSU
>>46786853
>How can I fuck with him?
ask him to, faggot.
>>46785571
Melvyn?
>>46786572
10/10 vaporwave riced desktop
would share on desktop thread
Just did this on a vm, paste to create and run a fork bomb.
What I pasted:copy con test.bat\x0d\x0astart\x0d\x0a%0\x0d\x0agoto :s\x1a\x0d\x0atest.bat\x0d\x0a
\x0d = byte 0D and \r
\x0a = byte 0A and \n
\x1a = byte 1A which is Control-Z (the SUB character)
>>46787002
What it looks like in notepad++
>>46786727
>>46786778
WindowBreak guy here. Yeah, if I remake it for a newer Windows I think I'll implement that if I can. I'm not sure whether I can programmatically switch it from Aero/whatever Win8 calls it into classic or high-contrast, but it should be possible. Also, I wonder if there's still a way to put obnoxious animations on the desktop, like Win98+Active Desktop+animated GIFs did.
BTW the one I uploaded is "safe", NOT the evil, Windows-killing version, although it does set some weird mouse options that still leave the mouse obnoxious to use even after setting all Control Panel settings to sensible options. However when I run it in VMware Workstation 11, for some reason I get an all black 1024x768 display after reboot and no way to get it to do anything else. I suspect it's just the VMware graphics driver acting weird about the weird mode I put it in.
Also some previous version of WindowBreak XP used to slowly fill the desktop with files named PRN or CON, which of course cannot be deleted because their name is invalid.
>>46785306
Kek
I used to do this to the whole lab in high school.
>>46786752
>>46786793
>>46786874
I was a little off but as a kid that's quite normal I wasn't even diagnosed until I was about 14
And yeah puppy love pretty much I did used to kiss from the age of 3 with my then girlfriend from 3 to 8 and with my other girlfriends after that but it never got passed that. Kids at my schools weren't any more sexual than that at 12 and under.
If you want a brief history.
Left school at 7 Mother home schooled me for a year before she became bored and decided she would rather watch TV. moved at 10 to a new school half way in the year if not less. Because I'm not used to it I don't go all days nor the whole day. Move to another school after finishing that year because I joined that school at the last year. Next school is filled with Chav degenerates. I only stay for about 3 months. 3 years of nothing officially home schooled. 5 years of doing almost nothing at a special school that I left when I was 19. Fuck I hated that place or atleast the students there. It was aimed at people with learning difficulties and sever autism but I had nether. Hell I even took some IQ tests when I was around 7 which where aimed at people aged 16 and up and I averaged 104
So yeah that's how I only really had a year of education since I was 7 if that.
Wonder if anyone will actually read that. Well whatever.
BTW for bonus information I'm 5 foot 10 inches male 21 years old penis is 6 inches long white 7/10 on my face and I look like I weigh a normal amount but I really am fat.
>8th grade
>shared folders
>everything is shared including yearbook stuff
>put random folders and shortcuts in everyone's work folders
>spam dude bros with md command
That's about it.
>>46787124
IQ has nothing to do with autism.I have 129 and same stats as you for the rest.
>>46786759
>autorun on folder open
This is why windows is shit.
>>46786663
nice blog faggot
>>46787185
run program with opening a folder
what is this shit? could this be even useful?
>>46787237
Or you could make an exe with a folder as its icon...
>>46787159
So Autism then not Aspergers. What are you like then?
As I said I couldn't stand my fellow tards at the special school because they where far more sever than me I.e shitting themselves in science class. In the 5 year time span that was the only time I regularly went to class. They tried to get me to the first month or so but every class was grueling as I knew everything and everyone thought I was a fucking genius. As in they literally went wow when I answered a maths question. Granted I could and still can do maths in my head with very high numbers and refused to ever use a calculator and only rarely grudging right things down, just notes, when I'm working out something very complex. But this was simple shit like lets say what is 9 times 7 rather than what is 278x 56 which is 15,568. which I worked out just now in my head without writing down which is more than what most people seem to manage. Fuck it's annoying when people take their smart phone out to work out the smallest mathematical equation.
But yeah I dropped that quick and instead spent the next 5 years watching Top Gear sans the last year where I went to one science lesson a week because I was doing maths economics science GCSE. The others I did without bothering to study but although I know a lot about science I didn't necessarily know everthing that would be on the test that year and I thought it was worth going. Turned out it wasn't as I knew literally everything they tried to teach me but it was something else to do other than watch Top Gear or do shit on the computers. Then a student shat himself so badly that I only worked it out from the horrid stench that it left a day after it had been cleaned up. I don't even know the details but I never went back.
>>46787541
You sound like you got fucked over as a kid by your mom.
As a kid I was similar although I dont put full blame on my parents I blame them for certain things they did to lead me to this situation.I was going to bad school,I had schizo grandmother that i had to put up with it,I was not allowed to bring any friends home and play,I had no money due beeing poor ect.High school just went like shit i dont want to talk about it.At least I got my firs kiss at the end so there is that.
Now in uni i have 2-3 people which I can talk to and not feel like a retard but the rest are normies and I just cant/dont know how to talk to them.I really dont.Im 23 and a virgin.
Shit suck I just dont know how to talk to normal people/girls wich makes me autistic.
I decided that i will end myself by 2016 and thats all about me at this point.
>>46787704
>don't do it man there's so much to live for just b urself!
shit sucks, I don't know how I haven't killed myself
>>46785113
>>46785956
>>46786029
>23
>Virgin
Go get laid you faggots!
>>46785049
Nothing /g/ related, but had some fun.
>eighth grade
>in technology class
>working with balsa wood sticks and hot glue guns to build a tower to support a certain amount of weight
>hot glue a few mouses down to the desks
>come in next day listening to the teacher
>talk like the boss from Office Space
>"yeah....if whoever is gluing the mouses down to the desks...if you could stop...that would be great..."
>sophomore year
>having fun with the text to audio feature on the macs in the comp. lab with some friends
>overdo it, mac's start lagging, spitting out the audio 10 seconds after we input it
>type in random profane shit
>hit enter
>teacher walks in to the front of the lab with back to the class
>10 seconds pass
>mac blurts out random swear words
>teacher threatens to suspend those who did it
>says that she knows because she talked to the head of the comp. lab about it and says to turn ourselves in
>call her bluff, don't turn ourselves in
>she never knew the whole time
>got away scot free
It's the tiny things.
>>46787740
Its not how it works.
>>46787752
>Go get laid you faggots!
I wish i could man.I wish I could.
>>46787752
there must be something wrong in the picture.
right one is definitely a virgin.
where is /a/?
>>46787752
>star of David tattoo
>>46787825
>zyzz
>virgin
top kek
>>46787740
>>46787704
Man i lost the friends i had when i moved to another country after 6th grade. Took me all of middle school and highschool to get some confidence again.
This qt3.14 was really into me the last year she even left her bf but i was too pussy autistic to actually go to the graduation party and finally ask her out. Moved back to my country to find out that this girl that i knew since we were 5 was starting on the same career as me after all those years since we hadn't seen each oyher, too bad she already had a bf and when she finally left him i knew the bitch could see right through my autistic ways even if i tried hiding them with smalltalk so didn't even bother anymore.
Also zyzz was a faggot.
>>46785049
>small business class has a mock business simulation set up over the course of a few days
>various students operate a variety of small business (stores, post offices, utilities) and we conduct transactions and such
>teacher gave us no training or any tutorial regarding the simulation
>shit ends up being a massive clusterfuck and becomes incredibly dull
>I'm operating the mock cellular store
>decide to spice things up and write a joke letter detailing a bomb threat to the mock post office
>mail takes one real day to get to other mock business
>weekend passes
>post office gets the letter on Monday
>read my joke letter out loud regarding the bomb threat and cyanide capsules
>entire class bursts into hysterics, literally can't stop laughing for a good 10 minutes straight
>teacher is literally an angry nigger and doesn't tolerate these sorts of shenanigans
>she suspects me because I kept laughing about it and eventually matches the handwriting with some of my work
>sends me down to the school police who search my backpack for guns and bombs
>get out of school suspension for 3 days
>parents agree it is by far one of the most retarded punishments they've ever heard in their life
>both parents are fairly logical too, both knowledgeable enough to make over 100K/year just from my dad alone.
>let's me fuck around with video games for the entire suspension
>>46787848
>top kek
this one
>>46785049
>Open command prompt
>turn the background green
>tree c:
>sit back
>WOAH YOUR A HACKER
Except my friends knew what I was doing.
>qt sends me a URL to a photo
>It's a facebook link
>Tells her her full name
>How did you know that anon
>"I hacked Yahoo chat"
>Believes me when I say I can turn her webcam on without her knowing
>>46787906
At least you had friends at one point in your life.
I have only acquaintances and you guys.
I have chances with girls.I fucked every single one of them.
>>46785113
3/3
I don't remember posting here.
>>46787939
We have them here.The ones with chocolate are actually quite good.
>>46787974
maybe i should order some
>>46787962
had*
Yes anon but what is your face
>>46785049
This is probably the oldest trick in the book but here is mine:
>Take screenshot of desktop
>set screenshot to desktop background
>remove all icons
>>46787962
I do have friends now but they're so normie that it bothers me, one of them has one of those adwares on his pc that changes his home page in chrome tonsome random website. I've offered to fix it but he doesn't give a fuck cause according to him his ipad does everything anyways.
Him and my other friends think i'm some kind of 1337 haxor cause i cracked one of their neighbours wifi during a bbq in a beach house all so we could watch a football match on the laptop.
>>46786663
>I also used to constantly have girlfriends from the age of 3 to 12
>>46787947
best one isreg query hklm /s
>>46785049
>Use Ctrl + Alt + Arrow keys to make all the desktops sideways/upside down
>Leave the room
>>46786874
But anon we will love eachother foreverrrrrrrrrrrrrrr <3333333
I took those genuine windows stickers and stuck them under the mouse where the laser shone through.
>>46788035
>I do have friends now but they're so normie that it bothers me
They are not real friends,trust me on this one.
>>46785961
>care to share the src?
I never trolled anyone but my friend did to me. He found my godamn trap folder of me in a dress. The folder had a password that only I knew. Never wrote it down or anything but apparently he saw tbe keystrokes from my wireless keyboard somehow when I entered the folder or something.
>>46788118
what'd he do with is
>>46787704
>>46787740
Yeah my parents did royally fuck me in a few ways.
Tried home schooling but became bored of it and just gave up.
After getting in one fight when I was around 7 with a 11 year old I was punched in the nose bad enough that I was drenched in blood my entire shirt soaked with it and I was banned from leaving the house without them yay for no exercise from school plus not being able to leave the house.
Not sure exactly when it started between 7 and 10 but suddenly vegetables and fruit are for faggots so she stops buying that for me and only buys Tesco value food for me.
Also stops cooking.
Unsurprising I start gaining weight when I used to have a fucking six pack ofcourse she has to pretend to make an effort so she sometimes bugs me to go on a diet. I say sure if you will buy healthy food, no.jpg healthy food is for me I'm on a diet. Fat bitch has been on a diet constantly for 15 years but she keeps breaking it constantly so she loses no weight. She is 300lb.
They only broke out of buying cheap shitty food within the last year and I have gone from 330lb to 214. Been stuck at that or more since September which is annoying but it's better than before.
BTW this isn't including the violence. Like the time I hadn't done a chore this very second and she went to grab a wooden bat my dad keeps for burglary. And threatened to bash my TV in the one I bought with my money. She then threatened to kill me with it when I told her I would knife her if she did that. This was when I was 13 BTW happy days. Or when she held a car battery literally over my head and threatened to kill me for not doing another chore fast enough.
No one ever believed me they thought I was making shit up. My dad could be really violent when he felt like it aswell. My siblings also hated me. My parents said they would kick me out after I left education if I didn't immediately get a job. To be continued.
>>46788118
:3c
Pics please
>>46788139
Huh?
>>46788168
No. Only for my boyfriend.
But i still dont get how my friend got in.
>>46788161
Cont
Knew that wasn't going to work out and I planned to kill myself for several years the moment I left education. Later I thought of becoming a drifter who just travels the world I learned to lockpick read thousands of posts on online forums on various skills I would need to know general homeless survival tips but also how to break into places avoid alarms how to move what type of camouflage to wear what gear to wear. I went on a website called nightops with everything you would want to know and read every post in 3 or 4 of the main topics something like gear, techniques, etcetera can't remember twice.
In the end I did nether because I get benefits that give me more than enough to anything I want.
But yeah, don't kill yourself if you truly have nothing left to live for then you also have nothing left to lose. You are free to do the kind of shit people only dream of like traveling the world or maybe just living on some island somewhere.
>>46788184
>No. Only for my boyfriend.
C-can I be your boyfriend?
>>46788058
Literally every day in highschool
Colorblind mode is pretty great too
>>46785049
You know that makes you a cunt right OP?
>>46788184
Sorry I meant what happened later, "what did he do with it (the pic)"
>>46786663
>I also used to constantly have girlfriends from the age of 3 to 12
Why not 18 you pedo scum?
>>46785113
not me
>>46788242
i think he means from when he was 3 to 12 years old
>>46788265
>thatsthejoke.jpg
>>46785650
-_-
>>46788233
Nothing just laughed at me and called me gay.
It wasnt one pic. It was a folder of a few dozen.
>>46788203
>stuttering like a fucking faggot
Be more manly bitchboi that stuttering shit is annoying as fuck.
>>46788253
fuck off normie.
>>46788193
>You are free to do the kind of shit people only dream of like traveling the world or maybe just living on some island somewhere.
I was thinking about moving to another country but then again,I cant fit into normal society so I dont think that would work.Oh well,what can one simple anon do except kill himself.
>>46787752
>>46787769
I'm the one with the TLDR posts. As I said I'm 21 but I'm also a virgin. There was no tards at the school passably fuckable and I wouldn't want to anyway. As I said I wouldn't want a relationshipjust fuck buddies or one night stands. And right now I don't even have female friends. And I still want to lose some more weight before I try one night stands ether just meeting girls when I'm on holiday or just online hookups.
That's not to say I plan to be a virgin for long. I am going to Thailand in about 6 weeks and I plan to have a foursome with 3 9/10 to 10/10 prostitutes in a brothel. I have heard of places that offer threesomes but I thought I might aswell make it even more special and I'm sure the brothel owner would have no issue with me paying even more for a third.
If I could I would also like to have some weed beforehand as that makes masturbation especially with a fleshlight fucking amazing.
>>46788069
I took those stickers and brought them home
>>46786029
4/4
I don't know how to bear it any longer
>ITT a bunch of old faggots that had a terrible time in high school faking shitty anecdotes.
>>46788427
5/5 me too
>>46787962
TLDR guy here. Don't worry your not missing out on much normies are for the most part idiots. Christ the amount of times I roll my eyes when they do stupid illogical things because MUH FEELING MUH WHY QUESTION THINGS.
It annoys me that they never seem to question anything they just move through life on auto pilot buying the latest Apple devices and ignoring politics or world news or really caring about anything they can't easily understand and that doesn't immediately effect them.
Anyone notice nearly all the cool people in history had some mental disorder? Normal people for all intensive purposes are proles. Yeah yeah I know 4 edgy 2 me.
>>46786239
im joining in a second..u still there?
>>46785049
>high school
>laptops
underage b&
>>46788493
this.
>>46786026
I did a lot of similar things to my friends' calculators in assembly. Specifically I would make programs to occasionally give wrong answers around 15% of the time
>>46788493
Examples of said cool people? Liek Steve jobs?
>Be scriptkiddy
>Write a batch script to create hundreds of nested folders in a student's directory
>They have to guess from 6 options which has their files in it
>Each option has a batch file to shutdown computer at the bottom so spam clicks are dangerous
>Windows can't support that many nested folders easily
>Most fags panic when none of the folders have their files
>One even goes to the IT guys when he spergs out about his file
>I had their files on my USB all along
>Give them back to them at the end of the period and see panic melt into anger
>Laugh
>>46788035
TLDR guy. This so fucking much. Normies are fucking useless when it comes to electronics and refuse to learn how to fix them. I know Jack fucking shit about computer problems but I have never come across malware or viruses on mine or anyone else's computer I couldn't beat. Just search the fucking internet for the solution it is that simple.
Another thing about normies that pisses me off is that when they become interested in something they don't bother researching it at all and just pick up bits here and there. You can fucking bet that every subject I am interested in I know everything about. For example I smoke weed about once a fortnight so I know everything there is to know about the science of why the endocanabanoids work what enzymes break it down enzyme inhibitors flavonoids other substances that have an effect like myrecene. Etcetera etcetera. Same goes for many other things I am interested in.
>>46785049
Personally, I like being helpful and actually help friends with problems.
Still, if you like trolling, check out the "bastard operator from hell" stories.
How do you deal with normies /g/?
>>46786663
>constantly have girlfriends from the age of 3 to 12
Get out of here you lying autist
>>46788832
buy their old shitty computer for 10 bucks.
>>46788312
To be honest the universe is what 13billion years old. One-day in trillions of years the universe might end in what is known as the heat death where atoms just start falling apart and matter itself ceases to exist. The earth is a spec following one Sun out of 400 billion in our galaxy and we know of atleast 500 billion galaxies. And there is some theories there might be atleast one more universe bassed on odd gravity anomalies.
So I'm not going to say there is a point to living there isn't it's just what you make of it just enjoy it and drop anything or anyone that stopes you from doing that and do whatever you want.
So yeah ether kill yourself or don't but atleast try for a few months truly try if that means abandoning your old life do it to find some happiness and if that still isn't enough then fine but do you really want to give up before you even tried?
>tfw my school's IT was actually competent
Oh well
>>46785502
This is pure genius.
>>46785049
>your non-technologically savvy friends?
does not compute.
>>46788687
Well he was certainly ether a sociopath or had antisocial personality disorder.
Not that I think he was a great man Apple has never invented anything just polished of other peoples good ideas and made it look shiney.
Some examples I can quickly think of Einstein Autism. Stephen Fry Bipolar. I really don't keep track of this kind of thing but most exceptional people seem to have something wrong with them your not exceptional if your normal.
One good example would be world leaders. I would love to see what percentage on world leaders have high functioning Aspergers. Or are sociopaths. Or have antisocial personality disorder.
>>46785696
he actually eats his dead skin
>>46789004
>9th grade home economics class
>my homeboy is running the film projector
>I cut a tiny penis out of the sticky end of a post-it note
>wait for him to turn his head
>stick it to the film
>click
>click
>GIANT BLACK PENIS ON THE SCREEN
>he gets yelled
>le troled
>>46789004
I thought the president was supposed to be normal.
>>46788851
>>46788290
>>46788265
>>46788242
>>46788053
I don't see how it's that hard to believe. I admitted to being a fat autistic virgin what more do you want from me? I even have a niece that seems to have Aspergers and she seems to always have some boyfriend or another from the age of 3 or 4 and she is now 9. It's easier to get away with being slightly off as a kid because kids often do weird shit.
>>46786508
underage b&
>>46789004
>Implying sociopathy gets you anywhere
>Implying antisocial personality disorder gets you anywhere
Please give us on life. This isn't TV.
>>46789085
>Girlfriend
>At 3-12
>Your sex organs don't even work at that age
How would you know what a girlfriend is at that age? 11-2 I understand. 3, no. I call bs on 3.
>>46789108
inb4 correction
*11-12
>>46789041
TLDR here. Yeah already knew about that one.
>high school
>wood shop
>teacher goes into a backroom
>lock him in with a padlock
>set the garbage can on fire
>>46789137
Because that's the normal thing to do when you're surrounded by a room full of wood. Start fires.
>Print Screen Desktop
>Paste in paint
>save image
>flip image upside down
>set image as desktop background
>flip view upside down
>hide task bar
>mouse input reversed
>they finally get it on start button
>its just wallpaper
Use to do this in computer lab.
>>46789004
> tfw I have delusions of grandeur
> I piss people off in my school who think they can be on equal terms with me.
Thanks anon. Didnt know that it was a good thing.
>>46787930
but 3 days is not enough for vidya anon
>>46789108
So you never knew of kids that dated younger than 11? Well I always was quite sexually mature I can even remember watching porn as a little kid daily when I was 7? Maybe 8 not sure. I would do it every time my Mum went to pick up my sister from school when I was home schooled. I just bumped into it can't remember how but I found some way to get on a porn website from some popup or something. One thing thats really funny is it took me fucking ages to search for porn as I kept searching things like Bob instead of boob and I couldn't think of any other words to use.
>>46789095
The ability to do anything without moral qualms does give an advantage over someone who can't. That and Sociopaths and possibly Antisocial Personality disorder draws the person to power. BTW I'm not just making this shit up there have been studies thst find sociopaths disproportionately having jobs where they have power over others.
>>46789253
I guess thats why I became a manager in walgreens in 4 months (really hated having a lazy shit manager telling me what to do and not csring much about using time wisely) while my friend who worked 3 years at cvs pharmacy never even got a promotion.
>>46786267
>>flips his power off with my foot
fucking what
>>46786267
lol'ed hard
>>46789203
>dated
>younger than 11
yeah see youre using the word all wrong there lil pal
>>46786400
>probably a samefag just samefagging his dick off
>>46786663
just tell them you're asexual
>>46785049
>justifying being a total douche by calling it trolling
>>46789654
the power strip
>>46788304
Bitch, post those pictures right the fuck now!
>>46787752
>degenerate druggie shitskin with coalburner slag
>8th grade
>end of the school year
>teachers bring us to computer lab for surveys on the school
>turn on computer and a batch file launches to open a website for said survey
>IT is some shit
>anyone can easily open and edit the batch file
>replace survey website with meatspin
>sides leave earth while everyone is wonder what the fucking shit is going on
>>46787704
You deserve better than this. Fuck the world
I switched a couple keys on 2 different keyboards. Teacher noticed and threw them away as they were "broken beyond repair".
had to pay for 2 keyboards.
>>46791622
It is what it is.Nowdays its even hard to make online friends.You fags never stick around.
>>46787124
Can you just shut the fuck up, keep on topic or leave?
>>46787124
Holy shit. Either slap a tl;dr on that motherfucker or go start a blog elsewhere
>>46787020
Why not just%0|%0
>me and my sister used to share the same computer back when we were kids
>it was a Compaq Windows 98 piece of shit
>we each had our own personal folder on the desktop
>one day when she wasn't looking, I took a screenshot of the desktop, then proceeded to delete her folder and finally made the screenshot the background image
>she just kept double-clicking on the image
>"lol, I'm such a hacker"
your stories suck, so I didn't like this lame teacher(he didn't change my grade like he was supposed to) so I brought a USB carrying a virus and infected an administrator computer and it was tedious i laughed and he couldn't find out whom could have been clever enough to do something of that scale.(i also got caught with ninja tools at the same school)
>>46792273
What virus was it
>10th grade
>Bitch girl.. Like teachers bitch.
>Complete the work and play CS
>Bitch calls the teacher on me
>Next day
>open bitches pc
>Make multiple "TurboC" icon all over the desktop
>Screenshot it, set as wallpaper, delete the real icon
>tfw she started crying bcuz of it
>Everyone laughed at her
>Felt bad
>Tell teacher what I did
>Got "grey card" for bad behaviour
>MFW I have to work all year on the teachers computer.
>>46786663
Pls kill yourself. You are a waste of energy. Damn, you are such a loser. Fix your life. Start with being ambitious faggot.
>46785794
or maybe that's a feature of the graphics chipset..... like the intels.....
>talk out your ass enough and you might fart
>8th grade
>install teamviewer on the school library computers
>go home
>control the computers
>go to school the next day
>ohmygod we were hacked mouse was moving by itself
>mfw
>>46787825
fucking body pillows while chanting "2DPD! 2DPD!"
>senior year of high school
>every student has a school issued macbook
>be autism
>bring own macbook
>decide to install apple remote desktop at school
>open it up
>suddenly 1,000+ devices show up on the list
>copy 500+ mac address, ip address, and network names
what do? My friend is going to attempt to figure out the username and password since he works in the tech office and he sees them using it every day. im thinking about waiting until senior prank day before I fuck with their computers
inb4: underage
turned 18 in November
>year 11 in high school
>prefect
>three hundred computers around school all connected to server
>find out login credentials for a test account the admins use
>Since I'm prefect I can skip lessons to do stuff for teachers
>For some reason I can log in to this account on multiple computers at the same time, unlike my personal account
>spend two hours going around as many computers as possible, putting hurr-durr on each of them, turn the volume up and turn the monitors off
>Hanging around maths corridoor during break where there's 75 computers
>mfw the little kiddies turn on the monitors and are greeted by the chaos
>mfw no one suspected me
>mfw all speakers were removed
>mfw computers are locked constantly until teachers get permission from the IT department , they still do this to this day
>>46787836
Sorry, but where?
>go on a computer
>see the last guy using it didn't closed his session
>change the cursor by a dick
>put all the icons out of the screen
>define IE as default nav
>change background
In uni i set up a bash script in .profile that asked 5 random math questions and killed the terminal if you got any wrong. People stopped leaving computers unlocked after a while.
>>46788118
>not putting your trap pics into a folder labeled "University" or "Coursework" or some bullshit fake driver name tucked away in an obscure directory
>not making a fake porn folder for people to find instead
>"Oh no guys you found my porn folder how embarrassing"
Password optional. My degeneracy has yet to be discovered (by my friends, anyway :^) )
>>46785961
thanks anon
![IMG_20150301_123936785_HDR[1].jpg](https://i.imgur.com/3Z5FXot.jpg "IMG_20150301_123936785_HDR[1].jpg")
>>46785961
It works in half on Windows 8.1.
Swapped mouse buttons, smallest resolution on primary monitor, random left clicks, and big/strange fonts works.
>>46787020
>>46787002
Just make a bat file like:
loop.bat:@echo off
:A
start loop.bat
goto :A
This keeps opening itself, which causes the windows to multiply..
it will go like 2, 4, 8, 16, 32, 64, 128, 256, 512, 1024, 2048, 4096 etc..
>>46785049
aliased 'sudo apt-get update' to 'sudo rm -r /home/user/*'
gotta love pulling pranks on my friends haha
>Turn Narrator on
>Minimize to system tray
Maximum kek.
Also considering someone posted a woodwork story,
>teacher is off getting skin cancer treatment
>Have a string of supply teachers
>Original WW teacher is chill as fuck
>Has a side room with a phone and internal extension numbers
>Class is composed of me and 2 other guys who did engineering at college (UK) while in Highschool
>Rest is year 10's who failed language (naughty kids)
>They proceed to ring all the staff members calling them slags and mongs while the supply teacher is trying to get out of the other side room which they locked her in using a broom across the handlebars.
>be in last year of hs
>sysadmins leave domain-level account open on laptop
>create new account with full domain access
>use the monitoring program to fuck with everyone
>program could do network wide tasks
>format C:\ on *
>watch as the chaos spreads
>all digital student records lost
>all student work lost
>one of the servers runs a monitoring program the checks on the fire alarms, something must fuck up due to the format of C:\ and the sprinklers go off along with a loud ass fire alarm
>all this happens over the space of 20 mins
>mfw never caught
Press Command-Shift-Option-Q on any Mac while walking past it.
It logs out the user without any "Are you sure?" dialog and makes most people look at you completely dumb.
Or Ctrl-Option-Command-8, it inverts the screen (when it's activated, I think Apple deactivated this shortcut by default in some of the recent OS X versions).
In school there was a tool like netsend (or it was called something like that) on the Windows 2000 machines. It could be run from the run dialog in Windows and let's you display a small dialog box on a certain (or every) Windows computer on the network.
Just had to run a small script that displayed this a few thousand times on every PC in the room. Was fun as most of the times nobody knew what was going on and got completely distracted.
>>46785961
omg anon you're a genius
>be me,17
>west cheshire college (uk)
>huge room filled with computers for people to use so they can do research
>find out if you unplug the ethernet cable and start pc you can get the last persons log on email
>do this to several girls who were last logged in
>got me laid at least 4 times
That was 12 years ago,im 29 now,miss the college daysb but love having the wages from working 3 nights a week and playing vidya the rest of the time
