tfw sneakily letting out a silent fart in the gym

>tfw not washing my hands after using the toilet in the gym

>>37270920
>headphones in
>"silent" fart

>tfw i took a shit on my fiances stomach, drove to the gym then proceeded to superset arms for 7 hours.

>tfw that cute front desk girl sucked my cock and swallowed my cum in the tanning booth in the gym. Then proceeded to deadlift only 50% of my 1r max due to semenial weakness.

>tfw i tickle my nipples between sets

>tfw i have no feelings and im just a husk, hoping to feel something in life by lifting and running away from the shit that is called life.

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>>37271668
>tfw earphone chord brushes against my nipples while adjusting it between sets

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>tfw the ants are back

MMMMYYYYYYYYYYYYYY SHAKEEEEEEESSSSSSSSS

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>>37270920
>using bench press with my bro
>finish my set and stand up to spot him
>notice how sweaty my back is and how wet im making the bench
>he doesnt notice and begins to do his set
>as soon as he gets up i comment
>"Dude look at how soaked the bench is, you gotta wipe that shit up man that's nasty"
>we leave
>2 days later we go to the gym
>get ready to do benchpress, he's up first
>he takes towel off his shoulder that he brought from home and lays it down on the bench before starting

DEVILISH TACTICS

>>37270920
>tfw supersetting leg machines
>fag takes one of my machines
>mercilessly laid at least 10 farts into the seat during last set
>that face when he smells the residuals

>using roids
>claim im natty
>say my natty friends are using steroids

Even the devil is scared of my devilish schemes.