"accidental" nude mires
>be me
>just finished cut, looking good
>finished showering, rubbing oil on myself cause I know that gf's sister is at my house
>gf went to by something so not at home atm
>rubbing dick with oil while thinking of railing that skinny bitch
>cock is all hard and veiny, ready for her
>hear her walking past bathroom into the bedroom
>it'stime.jpg
>walk out, straight to bedroom, dick is throbbing, oily and veiny
> she sees me, spills spaghetti everywhere, looks at dick, doesn't know what to do looks down while trying to get out, but dick is down there too so even more spaghetti
>would like to take here there and let her suck me and then fuck her raw doggy style, but she's not that type, especially since her sister is my gf
>she runs out of the room, brushing my dick along the way
>blushes everytime now when she sees me
10/10 will do it again
>>37198534
that's a long and wordy way to say that she felt embarrassed for you and was uncomfortable with you jerking off in front of her but I'm glad you enjoyed it so much anon
She knows you did it on purpose.
She joked about it with her friends later. They all laughed.
>>37198582
This. She just thinks OP is a real weirdo and is always uncomfortable around him and he is oblivious to that fact.
>>37198534
bumping for more stories like this
>be op
>make up thread on /fit/
>expect people to give me upvotes
>ppl call me out on my bs instead
I actually got laid doing this shit in Uni.
I would literally go for showers at peak times in the dorms because I knew there would be hot girls in the hallway on the way back to my room.
>Get all wet and squeaky clean
>slick back hair
>attach towel at lowest point possible without having my dick showing
>saunter slowly back through the halls towards my room picking up mires left and right
>would get knocks on my door a couple hours later from whatever girl making up some excuse to come in and 'hang out'
>it actually worked a few times
I wish I could go back.
>>37198534
You can't get mired by your fucking gf you autist.
What do you mean she was "spilling spaghetti"? Why was she awkward at seeing her own boyfriend naked.
cringe tbqh OP. You both sound awkward as fuark.
>>37199730
His gf's sister, tard.
>>37199730
>can't read - the post
>>37199740
>>37199736
I can't read, but at least I'm not as autistic as OP.
>>37199754
>implying
>>37199766
>Pepe-The-Frog-Happy-15.png
>Is actually evil smug pepe
>REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
>In a camp place
>showers are approx 30m from the tents
>finished showering, just a towel around my waist
>friends are chilling outside minding their business
>towel drops because I am clumsy as fuck
>of course the gay guy notices
>of course he tells everyone I have a small dick
>tfw grower
waiting for story next week about how op is trying to win gf back because sister snitched him out
>>37199856
This is the reason why I wear undies when showering in public/shared showers.
>>37199921
>muh undies
>>37198534
>this happened
>>37199730
Is it summer already?
>>37199701
>slick back hair
Jesus you had back hair when you were in uni? Are you fucking turk or something?
>>37199730
very good b8, 8/10
>>37198582
>>37198602
>>37198858
>>37199605
You just know 4shit - and the whole of the internet - has gone to shit when the first few posts are soft faggot cunts replying with scorn.
>Keep it up OP. You and your kind keep the internet interesting and colourful with bizarro tales.
P.S. Post pics of that sister.
>>37200038
Kek
>>37199856
Grower here too, sucks a lot, when prepared it's miring heaven, when not...
I always wish my petite goth neighbor would come to my door when I'm home alone and catch me with only a towel or without it, since she's seems to be into me, but I live with my gf so probability is low for that to happen...
>>37200038
7.5/10 I chuckled
>>37199806
>he doesn't get his pepes from google image
>>37198534
Here's what really happened man:
You fluffed up and deliberately exposed yourself to your gfs sister. She knows this because no one walks around naked when they have house guests. She thinks you're an exhibitionist perv now.
How big is your benis op
Also wtf do you just carry oil everywhere?
>>37200292
that was my thought
>>37199856
Don't lie. You wanted the gay to notice you so you dropped your towel so he would look.
>>37200305
Oh nvm at your house
Still wondering about benis
>>37198534
Need name of gril in OP pic
My gf's roommate walked in on us fucking (cowgirl and my whole dick was exposed) and had more or less the same reaction. I wonder if this is because my dick is big (it is) or just a normal reaction to walking in on people
>>37200341
>or just a normal reaction to walking in on people
Most likely this
Kek im sure she thinks you "ACCIDENTALLY" walked into the room she was in naked with a raging hardon
>>37200038
Keked externally
>>37198534
Hey fuck these guys putting you down. If it makes you happy anon, keep on keeping on. Just know eventually your gf is gonna bail
>>37200317
Caught me, I wanted to suck him off for dat brotein
>>37200341
>cowgirl
>whole dick is exposed
Tell me how that's possible
>>37198534
Tfw living in finland and showing yourself naked to people is a national past time (sauna).
>>37200384
Yeah we're all jealous you get to show your cock to a 60 year old man
>>37200381
Well more accurately she was bent over me with her ass up so we could make out
Is this not normal?
>>37200388
I don't know about you, but there isn't a single 60 year old man among my social circle. We go to sauna with our friends. Friends' friends if it's a party.
>>37200397
Thats normal
I assumed when you said you were "fucking" "cowgirl" you meant your gf was riding your dick.
>>37200246
Go to her and ask for laundry detergent. Say you forgot you were out and have no clothes to wear
>>37200038
Tfw had back hair since 17. Tfw white as fuck
Attention whore general?
>>37198534
SOMEONE TELL ME WHO THIS GIRL IS
REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
>>37200445
Gemma Atkinson.
>>37200430
I have a friend who's been hairy like a sasquatch since high school. If only he lifted and ate right he could be serious bear mode, now he's just dadbod.
>So I was making a meal for my sisters neet boyfriend, and I kid you not Fransesca, just as I was going to knock on the door to his room he bursts out, all oiled up, butt naked with his tiny wiener dangling in the air!
>Lol! He probably thought he would get laid with you Desdaemona, like if real life was a porno or something
>Eww! Stop it Marino! Anyway, I was so shocked and as I burst into laughter I accidentally dropped the entire plate of spaghetti all over him!
>He mumbled something about height, face and frame and then he retreated inside his room and closed the door again. I tried to get him to come out and pick up his fedora but he wouldn't answer!
>Meow meow
>Right Bacio, he's such a creep! If he wasn't such a sweetheart to my fatass retarded sister I would get Chadivere to beat him up or something
>Speaking of the devil, there he is right now!
>Oh my god, he's here alone? What a loser!
>>37200652
DELET THIS
>>37200339
>>37200445
Ashlyn Rae
>>37200652
>Novice lifters and advanced ones see me loading the bar for OHP (in the squat rack, because there are many open)
>Novice lifters impressed at the potential for 170lb squat for a guy that weighs 165lbs
>The few advanced lifters don't look for more than a moment
>They've moved past 2xBodyweightPl8 squat and hold 1x that as the benchmark of someone out of shape
>I load the on my PALMS and prepare for THE PRESS
>The bar is resting on my FRONT DELTS
>The novices and advanced lifters are staring at my TRAPS
>I rep it three times
>The novices don't believe
>The advanced lifters mire
>I go back for the second set
>Mark RIPPETOE is a voice in my mind
>He tells me to place the BAR so that it rests on my RADIUS and ULNA
>I lift the bar but don't FLARE my elbows
>I LEAN my head out of the bar's path
>After I lockout the bar at the top I SHRUG
>I repeat this movement many times over making sure not to CHEAT and use my legs
>The Press
>Is
>Everything
>>37200072
maybe its because too much of this board is clogged with imaginary stories because no one actually works out.
>showering with the boys after our kick-boxing training
>"accidentaly"let the lockerroom door open
>see girls mirin us when they get out of their lockerroom
>tfw grower
I FUCKING hate being a grower, I measured my dick at 6.9 inches long, 5.6 inches around and 2 inches across
It's fucking tiny when soft
When am I ever gonna be in a situation where a girl would walk in on me when it's hard
>>37198534
Sorry you got caught jerking it
>brushing teeth this morning after shower
>wife getting ready to go to the gym
>she gropes joocy buttocks while I'm spitting
>mmm so firm
>slide one in wife anon
>what?! You are such a faggot
>y-you too
>exposing yourself to random people
>is proud of this
creepy as fuck m8
>at Uni with gf
>gf has hot ex ballerina roommate, we all became good friends
>each room has it's own attached bathroom
>gf and roommate super comfortable with each other, walk in while other is showering to brush teeth and what not
>get back from weekend trip
>visit gf, gonna sleep over
>roommate isn't there, gf said she probably won't be back
>get in shower
>washing my balls, get hard
>hear door open, figure it's my gf coming in to join me
>jerk it a little to get fully erect
>turn off water and step out of shower
>roommate is there brushing teeth, sees me in mirror
>gags on tooth brush
>makes startled noise, spits out tooth paste
>rinses mouth quickly
>says sorry a bunch of times
>takes extra second to get mouth wash
>glaces at my waist "accidentally" as she leaves and immediately covers eyes
The 3 of us have been friends for years now, roommate openly admits she thinks I'm hot. Gf likes to make threesome "jokes". I'm too autistic to know if that's a hint.
>>37201806
It's got a travel size, big deal.
Arrange for "accidental" mires like OP and get hard, pepe.
>>37201923
> too autistic to know if hint
sask her?
>tfw i've never kissed a girl let alone had a gf
Fuck you people
why do i even bother lifting
>>37202001
Don't want to make things tense between gf and I. If I admit how badly I want to fuck her friend it'll likely ruin the friendship with roommate and strain relationship with gf.
>>37201923
6/10, would believe again
>>37200652
>>37202047
Did you ever tell your gf about that incident brah
>>37202021
Don't worry m8
All the guys in this thread wish they were virgins again
They feel dirty and impure
>>37198534
>inb4 OP is in court and tries to explain to a judge how raping his GF's sister was actually just her miring him really hard
>>37201806
If youre ever kissing a girl your dick will grow. By the time it's out you will be rock hard.
Getting walked in on by a girl isnt the pinnacle of life. Get over it.
>>37200652
That cat is fucking massive.
>>37202243
What if she grabs my crotch and then runs away and tells everyone that my dick is small even though it's big
>>37200384
>finnlann is mention
>>37202610
Mämmi.
>>37202604
Wont happen faggot.
1. By the time she is grabbing your crotch, enough other shit will have happened that your dick will be hard
2. Even if it isnt, she will just assume the clothing is in the way and that she cant get the right angle
3. Even if you arent hard when the clothes come off, tell her you just need a little help and she will get to sucking. It really isnt that difficult bro.
>>37200652
>>37202709
What if I have to take a shower in public and guys will think my dick is small
>>37200652
>He mumbled something about height, face and frame
Fucking kek'd
>>37199921
There are dozens of us!
>>37202745
Why would you care what other men think of your dick? That sounds pretty gay bro.
>>37198534
>>37200038
>slick back hair
The definition of otter mode.
>>37199856
This is why I hate gay people
>>37203025
thats brown though
>>37199701
What uni has traditional style dorms where showers are at the end but doesn't segregate sexes by building or at least floor? That just seems like the school wants to be sued.
>>37203025
Underrated post
>>37203025
>>37200411
Fellow Estonian mongol here, we do the same. Always nice to meet new girls and see them naked and have them secretly mire.
>tfw too autistic to hit on them
>>37203102
Der gute Doppelkeks. Scheiß mal auf Oreo,Prinzenrolle beste
>>37198534
The twist is that OP is actually Autistic, and his GF is his mom, and his GF's sister is actually his.
>>37203196
holy shit my entire teenage years were about being autistic but jacked as fuck
I would have gotten so much more pussy in a country that isn't governed by a retarded religion
>>37203204
Yeah they taste like asshole squeezed in between two digestive crackers.
>>37203196
I've gotten laid a couple of times after a drunken sauna party, it helps if all the other dudes at said party look worse than you.
>>37202243
>Making out with girl
>feeling her tits etc
>Can't ever get hard
>She just sucks my penis until I'm at half chub
>Cum quickly anyways
>"Omg that was so fast"
>Friend in the room laughs
How come my peepee doesn't get hard but I make cummies too quickly anyways?
>>37198534
i'll bet a 300lb fat fuck wrote this post
>>37203498
>it helps if all the other dudes at said party look worse than you.
They do. Maybe not the FACE, but I have decent FRAME and HEIGHT and I lift.
>>37201923
Just one day talk to her about how she feels about threesomes. Don't mention ballerina girl, never talk mention anyone specific when you are broaching the subject for the first time. See what she says about it and go from there.
>>37201923
If you go down that route, expect her to request the same from you - a mmf threesome.
Basically your relationship has a very good chance of not being romantic anymore but more about fucking.
>>37198534
I have an actual accident and not one I orchestrated, was more awkward than anything...
>Be me a few months ago
>My girl has been sending me raunchy messages all day,
>was having to take extra rest time to sit at the gym because I'm having uncontrollable erections between sets just thinking about dat ass and dem tittays.
>Head home and shit shave and shower, trimming up muh penor and danglies.
>Cock has reached a state of constant half chub from promise of uglybumpin'
>She texts saying she'll be home in a few, asks to check for mail
>Her lingerie came!
awww yisss.png
>Still have decent pump from gym, psych myself up by flexing in mirror mirin self and doing helicopter dick.
>hear someone clear their throat in the hallway
>itistime
>"woman you have no idea how much trouble you've made for yourself."
>grab on to doorframe and swing out into hallway like a drunken gorilla.
>pipeswingin
>It's my wife's friend
>Just go deer in headlights, realize how badly I've just fucked up.
>I'm pretty much gone braindead at this point, can't stammer out a response.
>"Well anon I see what all the fuss is about, You might want to cover up though. No rush."
>Hand slips and I crash headfirst into the wall.
>Knock myself stupid and crawl into bedroom closing the door.
>"Hey, you ok in there, need some help?"
>bleeding from my ear, tell her I'm fine, ask where my girl is.
She went in our house to grab some stuff before they went shopping for a birthday party, I guess she didn't tell her what happened but she came home talking about how they went out drinking and her friend got shitfaced and started asking her if she'd ever shared me before and complaining about her bfs tiny dick.
>see her at grocery store a few days later.
>she runs up and asks how my head is doing, keeps moving her hips and leaning against the shelves while she's talking tossing her hair n shit.
>kind of make awkward small talk for a bit, I ask about her bf hoping to offset her.
>"don't worry about him"
>>37204364
kek
Don't listen to this virgin anon. Some girls are into experimenting with chicks and find threesomes with another woman hot. And just because you did a FFM threesome doesn't mean your obliged to do anything you're uncomfortable with.
Basically only do the FFM threesome if she's into it and if she tries to lawyer you into a MMF threesome based on what's "fair", then you need to dump that immature whore.
>>37205152
What's your size m8
>>37203787
Were you drunk? Really nervous? If not you probably have poor blood flow. I hear cardio helps. If it doesn't you could always drop a V.
>>37205152
cont.
long awkward pause, I'm trying not to be impolite, she just kind of staring at me
>her eyes fucking fix on my crotch.
>You can pull my number out of her phone if you want to give me an encore, or we could even things out.
>play dumb act like I don't know what she's talking about.
>"It'd only be fair you know."
>tell her I've really got to go, have frozen items I have to get in the fridge.
>she slaps my ass when I move past.
I'd heard she was a slut but holy shit.
My girl has had guys cheat on her before, I don't want this skank fucking shit up or giving her reason to doubt me when I've been faithful for over a decade now.
So now I've got to tell her what happened and likely ruin their friendship, not that I liked her hanging out with that slut before, so nbd if they hate each other I guess...
I fucking hate skanks.
>>37205152
If this is real, I am impressed, Anon.
Double impressed by you not cucking the bloke.
>>37202889
Kek
>>37203049
I am disappoint
>>37205229
depends on arousal, about 9 in full effect
3.5 flaccid probably about 5 or 6 semi.
I kind of blame my girl, her friends talk her into sharing stories.
>>37205271
That's not my bag man, and generally any chick willing to cheat is willing to fuck up everything around her in the process. Besides I've got a damn good one and I know it, not ruining it for some worn out side gash, feel bad enough for the bro as it is, I should tell him too. He's a pretty decent dude, could do better.
>>37200652
>Chadivere
>>37205408
>9 in
y-yeah right
>>37200445
Sara Keyboard
>>37205268
Anon if she's friends with a cheater and she's been cheated on before as well it's more likely than not that she's cheated on you before, especially if you've been together so long.
>>37205408
>9 inches full effect
brb killing myself
>>37205511
about 9, just over 8.5.
bastard curves down, hard to measure.
I always thought my dick was fucked up when I was a kid because the mags and vids had dude with dicks that went upward or were straight out, so I thought mine was broken and gave myself a complex that actually ended up cockblocking me as a teen.
Honestly if there were a surgical way to fix it I'd do it, I'd rather have fucking gyno... I mean I haven't heard complaints but it's the one thing I'd fix about myself even if it meant losing some size.
>>37199921
>>37199856
This is the reason I give myself a semi before showering with other men
>>37205684
What's your girth
>>37205625
I know reading comprehension is hard but if you read carefully his girlfriend has had guys cheat on her before not her cheating on him
>>37203086
Mine did. Freshman year both of my neighbors were girls. Sophmore year two of my neighbors were also girls. Junior and Senior year I lived in an apartment/suite on campus, but we could live with girls there if we so chose to. Bathrooms in dorm were segregated but they were for everyone to use.
Is that not the norm?
>>37200652
>Placing a napkin on her head
>>37205859
not him but mine were set up where guys on 1st floor, girls on second floor. guy bathrooms/showers on first floor, girls bathrooms/showers on second floor. It wasnt that rare that youd see a girl in the guys bathroom tho just cause it was usually less crowded and always a shower open.
>>37205783
Too risky. I'd rather have people think I have a small dick then risk accidentally going full hard on and being labeled a fag
>>37205930
Yeah, I had friend's whose dorms were like that and I thought that was weird when I visited them. Guess I got lucky. We also had a "wet" campus, as in as long as you weren't causing trouble security would leave you alone to drink, no matter your age, except at official University events.
>>37205625
Nah, at the risk of sounding naive as fuck after all the time we've been together I know her better than that. I did say I had a good one, I don't say it lightly.
>>37205801
I've honestly never measured girth, i guess I could If you give me a few seconds... all this cock stuff is making me regret sharing a bit. hang on I guess ill go measure it, got nothing better to do atm.
>>37205960
that sounds nice. we didnt have a "wet" campus but everyone was pretty cool about it. Went to liquor store when i was 19 and was straight up with the owner. told him i was 19 but just wanted to buy a little bit. he was cool and let me buy. next night i was drinking on campus, lost my phone, and walked up to someone with a beer in my hand asking him if he could call my phone. it was a cop. he had me pour out my beer but he helped me find my phone.
>>37206086
>not being able to legally drink a beer at 19
what a shit country you guys live in
>>37206321
ive been drinking since i was 15. really not a big deal getting someone to buy for you. it sucks that you cant go to a bar but its not as if kids dont drink
>>37200445
Peterina Cowshirt
>>37205801
>>37205961
6.25 thickest part of head, widens gradually to just under 6.5 along shaft.
That was a fucking ordeal, I tried ramming my dick into a TP tube and got a papercut, she caught me measuring it with her tape she uses for cloth and quilting. Alcohol made a fantastic alibi. She's not too happy with me right now though.
It's 3 flaccid.
she threw the tape away.
>>37200652
Best post I've read all year
>>37206361
Just find a Paki run gas station, they sold to me at 16 no questions asked.
>>37200072
people on the internet are just saying what the people you're telling these stories to in real life are thinking
>>37206519
the guy in my story was russian or something similar. used to deal coke apparently. im 25 now tho so no problems.
>>37200038
Top kek
>>37205684
I wouldn't worry about it anon, if girls aren't complaining about it then it's probably fine.
>>37199945
>>37200652
>Meow meow
>Right Bacio, he's such a creep! If he wasn't such a sweetheart to my fatass retarded sister I would get Chadivere to beat him up or something
>>37199730
nice
>>37198534
>be me
>in gas station
>talking to bro
>just bought a new stock for my sharps build
>hang on bro let me show you
>open gallery
>forgot I was taking nude progress pics earlier and mirin' self gains
>image of me flexed front and back
>dem glute muscle on blast and back shredded m8
>here grill behind me
>"oh my...."
>look back
>qt3.14 7/0 red faced as fuck giving me doe in headlights look
>fuck fuck fuck what would /fit/ do shit shit
>after 3 second pause
>wink at here and and point at her
>"caught you mirin'"
>she lets out a giggle, bitch probably doesn't even know what mirin' means, fuckin sloot
>show bro stock
>pay for dip and gatorade
>leave
>>37205684
Us downward curved bros are a rare breed. I haven't had any complaints for the most part, sometimes it hurts them doing doggy though. Other than that, it's been smooth sailing.
>>37205408
>lol i'm gonna lie to strangers on the internet about my penis size and they'll like me!!!1!11!
pics or didn't happen
>>37206939
>I wanna see your cock!
You're that guy that glimpses over the urinal walls aren't you?
>>37200652
Utmostkek
>>37205828
I know reading comprehension is hard but that's what anon is saying retard.
>>37201806
I know the feel
>>37206815
2/10 not very believable
>>37200445
kiera winters
>>37206815
>dip
absolutely disgusting
>>37200195
ay man I know that feel
>>37203086
Kek what country do you live in?
>We can't trust adults not to rape each other. Split them up by gender.
>>37198534
Nice story OP, so basically you got caught jerking it and think her completely ignoring you is a reason to do it again.
>>37203787
Watching too much pron? Tried nofap?
>>37202156
Is this what permavirgins tell themselves?
10000000% not true.
Nobody wants their virginity back
>>37203787
once I got cuz a girl sitting next to me smelled really nice so sorry can't really help you senpai
>>37203040
because you have a small dick?
>>37203086
Even if dorms are split by floor throughout the day you would have a hard time picking out the girls floor from the boys. People socialize at university
>>37200652
Chadivere. Nice.
>>37198582
>>37198602
>>37198858
Beta fags making excuses for why they are to scared to get nude mires
>deliberately wear M sized shorts to cardio
>God and Dad gave me a nice big one
>dress down the middle (not left, not right) like a swimwear model stuffs his Speedo with a prosthetic
>dick is obvious
>I am mirror mired
>eye-rape is a compliment
>>37200038
>>37208216
>he pooed in loo
>>37205783
>>37200341
>I wonder if this is because my dick is big (it is)
>>37198534
/fit/ - Erotic Fition [sic]
>>37202539
no you dum dum it's sitting on the same bench as the smug lady
i can see how you might think it's in the background though
>>37200445
Marla Rippetoe
>>37200445
Check the filename you autist.
>>37200652
>Meow meow
>>37205268
>long awkward pause, I'm trying not to be impolite, she just kind of staring at me
>her eyes fucking fix on my crotch.
Can relate. I Skype'd with a friend of mine one time and we ended up getting naked. From that moment on, whenever she'd see me out and about, eyes immediately to mah diiiiiick. I'm not even that impressive, maybe 5-6 in fully turgid.
>>37206934
Mine curves to the left. Haven't had sex enough to notice if there's pain, so far no complaints though, except for giving one girl rugburn when I went down on her due to my beard.
>>37200652
>>37198534
>>37200072
>>37208593
OP went full autism mode and you guys are retarded. Taking away all the delusional commentary the story is literally:
>Be me, get oiled up and corner my GF's sister with a boner
>Sister gets really awkward
>Sister gets the fuck out ASAP while trying to avoid eye contact or look at OP in general
>Sister always gets awkward around OP now
No actual miring occurred. She GTFO's and clearly never made any attempt to reach out to OP or be around him or talk about him in any positive way because god knows if that had happened OP would be telling us so. There's no mention of flirting or her talking to OP or being around him in any context where she wasn't forced into it because of her sister. If she wanted it she would have gotten over being awkward around him by now but she hasn't because she thinks what he did was weird.
>>37205408
fuck these guys. this guy could rail some beta dude's chick but he's chosing the moral path. And he's been faithful for 10 years even with a shit-ton of options (if you are 9 in there is always options - don't even try say otherwise).
Get on this guys level.
Off topic, but I need all your guys' advice on how to deal with a chick
>be me
>kiss-less virgin
>just out of dyel mode
>meet chick on outdoor trip with some bros
>go to track meet at her school, invite her
>she comes and we flirt for a bit
>next week have another meet, same thing
>this time we're flirting hard
>take her phone
>she tries to grab it back, end up grabbing each other all over
>she briefly grabs my dick during this
>I was rock hard the whole time, she definitely could tell
>have to leave for my event
>she leaves before Im done cooling down cuz she had to go
>haven't talked to her since
What do /fit/? I'm not going to her school anytime soon, so how do I escalate things?
>>37203086
My uni in Australia had co-ed dorms as well as unisex bathrooms.
One time going to the shower after getting back from gym, I asked a girl who was also about to shower if she wanted to join me as a joke.
She said yes for some reason
Wasn't really the best idea, since I probably smelled bad, but hey.
>>37198534
So you kinda sexually harassed your gf's sister?
>>37200652
based
Here's a cat
>>37200652
>>37209622
If you have her number give her a CALL. Not a text. Casually ask if she wants to movie/park/museum/whatever.
>>37209953
Not that dude, but was gonna try to get the number of this chick from my school, I think it's better than texting?
>>37209622
Do you have a car?
>>37198534
I think you may have committed a crime, anon.
>>37209622
ask her if she's interested. go for a probing question like "i feel like i'm getting some queues from you, am i incorrect about that?"
no fucking idea if it works though
>>37209953
Don't do this. Unless you're both over 25 phone calls are fuckin weird and they won't answer
>>37210359
Okay yeah I probably won't call
>>37209622
But that's the problem. I'm kind of limited on how I can see her, cuz I don't have a car
>>37210193
autism
>>37206815
I want to believe. I want to believe.
>>37200652
Kek. This is gold
>>37200652
Fucking lol
>>37209953
You're too old to be giving advice to young people.
>>37198534
Ah, the naked man. You just got unlucky bro that shit works 2/3 times
>>37211278
>not knowing the pleasure women get from hearing a man's deep voice from a distance
And you're a dude on 4chan.
>>37201884
I tried this on my gf last night and she fingered my asshole. I wasn't expecting it.
>>37200272
>he doesn't get his pepes from imgur
>>37199945
Kek
>>37201642
WYAE, GGRL?
>>37205152
>be me a few months ago
But, anon, who are you now...?
>>37203086
George Mason University, just outside of Washington, D.C. has mixed floors.
>>37210193
That's what someone without confidence would do a.k.a terrible advice
>>37206934
Well I used to be curved up when I was younger, then I started sleeping on my stomach and I think over time getting boners in my sleep made it curve down... I think over a long period of time you can shape your dick
>>37213662
Whoa there breh, not trying to have an existential crisis today.
>>37214916
This warrants investigating, anyone else done this? I mean I don't think I can get away with taping it to my stomache while sleeping without some awkward questions but...
Yes just one time
>On a date with 9.14/10
>She's a typical airhead tho
>Small chat and dinner, ect
>Drive her back to her place
>"A-Anon I think I'd be cool if you spent the night with me."
>"Oh yeah?"
>Take her by the hand into her place
>House is a bit messy but whatevs
>She has a pretty cute dog too
>Making out with her in the door way and I pull a condom out of my hands
>"Let's let the real fun begin."
>She moans and I take her to her bedroom
>Fuck the living shit out of her extremely tight pussy
>Cum inside
>"Whew, how was that honey?"
>"Woof woof!"
>"Yeah I knew you'd love it, just as much as these fags love reading fake ass stories."
>Walk past living room with girl crying
>Wink at her as I leave
>>37214981
Well I think my case is proof enough, at least to myself, to you I'm a random faggot. But yeah it used to be hard to push down while erect when I was a lad, but now it curves down a little and resists hard when I try to touch it to my belly button.
>>37215109
I fapped to this
>>37200652
>>37203086
Smith hall at FSU had a communal shower room, and single gender floors, but if you walked around at the right time, there would still be girls in the hallways.
>>37205828
IRONIC
R
O
N
I
C
