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>Be me
>At club with friends
>Pretty wasted, been drinking grey goose and cranberry, pregamed it with bacardi 151 and xanax
>Eventually start mingling with group of Mexican girls
>Keep noticing some thuggish mexicans eye balling us
>wonder if we're spitting game at their ladies or something and are jealous
>ask girls if those guys are with them
>Way too fucking loud to understand eachother
>Starting to get too fucked up
>Mexican girl grinding on muh dick
>Get vertigo, whole club is spinning around me
>Scream out "Make AMerica Great Again!" as my boner reaches rock-hard levels previously thought impossible to geologists
>My comment must have been the straw that broke the camels back
>Notice the mexican guys are approaching
>Dark metal-like objects in their hands
>oh fuck Mac-10s
>Immediately push my friends out of harms way like Michael Biehn in TechNoir off Terminator 1
>Turn to face the suspects
>nowismytimetoshine.jpq
>Flex my pecs has hard as I can
>Each muscle fiber contracts to near solid, kevlar-like consistency, basically like the nanosuit off crysis
>Bullets shatter and ricochet off pecs
>Crowd scatters, women screaming, everyone's running towards the exit
>Mexicans are shocked I'm still standing, having seen my pecs absorb their barrage of narco-funded lead
>"¡¿Pero cómo?! ¡Imposible!"
>"Levanto, faggots"
>Bull rush them and knock all their heads together, rendering them unconsciousness
>I guard them until the police arrive

Anyone else have tense moments in the club?