I want to start dating but lifting hasn't cured my social anxiety at all.
>>35005380
Yes, faking it is the first step to getting it.
>>35005380
Yes.
It's literally the basis underlying all the PUA nonsense.
Get a job in sales. After a month of people telling you you're a colossal faggot I guarantee you won't give a fuck about some skank turning you down.
>>35005380
I honestly have so much confidence that I don't even need to act confident. If you are actually confident why would you need to act.
>>35005380
You're such a loser. I fucking swear, what is up with teens and people in their twenties? Where did it all go wrong?
>>35005444
it went wrong when life got too comfortable
>>35005422
What is the point of this post, it has no relevance to OPs question
>>35005407
I did this for one year. The problem is the product you're selling when dating is yourself where as when doing sales it's a product or service of a company you're selling which you will be detached from.
Don't get me wrong you'll get a higher tolerance for rejection, learn the value of persistence and learn human psychology (if you're not a dizzy cunt). All of which some what transferable.
Thing is it's not the same as getting rejected by women directly and learning not to give a fuck.
>>35005456
I can see that. Kids spending their free time playing video games in their parent's basement. Nothing enlisting in the army can't fix. They'll beat the autidm right outta you. In other words, if getting a man to yell at you can fix it, it's not a real problem.
>>35005444
Internet porn.
>>35005477
My point is that I can spot a phony when I see someone acting confident
>>35005407
>After a month of people telling you you're a colossal faggot
I work in sales and can't really relate to this comment. It sure as hell made me less nervous around people and an expert at feigning interest in small talk and fake laughing at shit jokes to make people feel good.
>>35005380
Is that bitch balding or does she dye her hair and her roots are actually blonde
Either way looks awful
Touch up these roots hoe
>>35005663
Depends on the type of sales. I'm talking cold calling either telemarketing or face-to-face.
>>35005380
Do you have friends?
If not, don't worry about dating yet. There is almost no way to maintain a good sense of confidence in your dating interactions if you don't already regularly hang out with some friends.
>>35005380
Obviously yes, and here's the catch, if you fake it long enough, you'll discover that a lot of people are just as insecure as you were AND will actually gain confidence.
>>35005705
> I'm talking cold calling either telemarketing or face-to-face.
Ahhh, right. I can imagine 90%+ of people calling you a faggot in that situation.
>>35005715
>There is almost no way to maintain a good sense of confidence in your dating interactions if you don't already regularly hang out with some friends
Ouch, this comment makes me feel too hard.
I have some people I would call friends that I have known since I was a teenage but I have nothing in common with them and feel lonelier in their company than I do when I'm alone.
How do I forge new and meaningful friendships at 30?
>>35005715
best advice in this thread.
>>35005776
At 30? God damn. The hell if I know. First of all, are you interesting and personable enough for people to want to be your friend? I'm assuming not, since you're asking this question on 4Chan. Look at yourself from an outside perspective. Make some changes if necessary and participate in group actuvities that you have an interest in.
>>35005776
Join a club or group that relates to your hobbies.
>>35005936
how do you find a club or group if you are already done college?
not him but my main "hobby" is the gym. are there related things I could do? please, no crossfit shit it just seems too stupid.
>>35005964
try a social sports team or martial art gym
>>35005964
What are yu interested in aside from the gym? If you have no interests aside from the gym you're literally woman-tier.
I'd suggest picking up a combat sport like boxing or judo. Even joining Freemasons would be a good idea.
>>35005964
dude youre 30 stop being so picky.
crossfit places have a real sense of community
i thikn theyre all faggots but the girls are fucking hot
>>35006021
but im happy with my gym
why would I waste money to do some stupid kip-ups? I have a lot of interests but it just seems hard meeting people without friends. mine are all whipped/married so that isnt an option.
im not settling down, and I want to have fun. fuck giving up on life, im not ready to do that yet.
>>35005444
These people have always existed, they just didn't have the internet to express themeselves
>>35005380
The first step is not giving a fuck.
Literally just walk up to people on the street and say autistic things, and be a cunt.
Before you know it you'll have balls of steel.
>>35005638
you are a colossal faggot
>>35006090
are you mad because you realized people can see through your bullshit and think you are a joke?
>>35006179
are you mad because you realized people can see through your bullshit and think you are a joke?
yes but only if u rock gold grills
>>35006190
you mad
>>35005380
>>35005407
No you can't fake confidence.
PUAs are all afflicted with autism. Vid related:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JlVwcv0rl28
>>35005380
It comes naturally
you can fake confidence if you're at least on the handsome/masculine spectrum, people will give you the benefit of the doubt.
if you're not on that spectrum no you probably can't, people won't tolerate it because they don't understand why a bottom feeder would be confident.
>>35006340
And who said anything about PUA?
There are scientific studies that prove that just like your mood is reflected in your face and body, it works the other way around and you can influence your mood by purposefully taking the facial expressions and body language associated with it. This is without even getting into thinking patterns. So yes, you can learn to feel confident at will even if you have no reason to.
Do a lot of things that will give you a sense of validation. Discuss with people about things you have a good idea about, participate in activities you're good at and so on... Each time you will receive a validation it will boost your ego and confidence
OP you have to B.E. yourself
>>35006430
>And who said anything about PUA?
Poster >>35005407 did u even read the thread bro?
Just talk to people normally I don't see how that's so hard. Sure it's difficult and you can't think of much to say when you do speak to someone you don't know but that's completely normal and to be expected.
>>35006400
bullshit.
haven't you ever seen a relatively ugly/fat girl who was grounded and chill and had no fear of things? guys are no exception. if your confidence looks fake then people will know it. but if your confidence looks natural people will love you for it.
http://thewisesloth.com/2015/02/09/the-confidence-talk/
http://thewisesloth.com/2014/11/11/tips-on-impressing-women/
http://www.doctornerdlove.com/2014/03/find-true-confidence/
http://www.doctornerdlove.com/2011/10/build-your-confidence/all/1/
http://www.doctornerdlove.com/tag/confidence/
>>35006687
Wow. Those two sites seem so meek compared to the usual red pill stuff that is linked in these threads.
>>35006088
Based Trump
Also highly appropriate dubs
>>35006636
you can try to fake confidence, but it won't win you any points if you're unattractive
that "fat girl" you're talking about probably gets shit talked relentlessly behind her back
that "ugly person" likewise.
nobody takes unattractive people seriously, you can act the part but if you don't look the part nobody will give a shit.
>>35006687
>>35006088
CAN'T STUMP THE TRUMP
>>35006870
>nobody takes unattractive people seriously
Unless they attach themselves helplessly to attractive people and somehow convince them they're worth a damn, in which case everyone loves them and assumes they must have an amazing personality/intelligence despite their ugly exterior.
>>35006912
yeah unless you live in reality.
ugly person with attractive person = shit talked immensely
why are u with them
how did u get with them
why don't you get someone who is umm .. a little more .. in your league.
why is she dating him
why is he dating her
shit dude I've been walking down the street with girls I am friends with who are attractive but probably a couple points below myself and women GLARE & snob at this girl, men look at her, then to me, then to her, then to me, and then to her kind of like uhh what?
>>35006870
Pretty much, the three things that determine social acceptance are IMO:
1. Looks (huge for first impressions)
2. Attitude (confident but not asshole or autist)
3. Competence (doesn't have to be work related, can be telling jokes or drinking or whatever)
>>35005493
>need to enlist in the army
wew lad, some of us have brains.
>>35006927
I'm saying they find really attractive friends to hang around. Girls do this all of the time; there's always the token ugly/fat chick in the group. She hangs around because she gets more attention being with good looking friends, and they hang around her because she makes them look more attractive, down to earth, and less judgmental than they really are. It's win-win.
>>35006088
CAN'T STUMP THE TRUMP
all it is, is the tone of your voice you need to control:
3 forms of voice:
seeking approval... rising tone on the end of this sentence " Where are YOU.. FROM?"
neutral tone - no rise in tone in the sentence .. simple statement of " Where are you from?"
Disapproval tone - down in tone at the end of the sentence like a command.
"Where are you FROM?"
dont ever be a faggot and use seeking approval tone when talking to grills or anyone else for that matter.
Other tips.. when someone calls your name to get your attention do not automatically turn your head that split second, like a trained dog.. wait a full 2 seconds.. this is more confident.
work on eye contact.
I use to train people on PUA shit, a few years ago. These were essential steps.
>>35006971
and that ugly one puts out the most too.
remember how there was a clear way to get fit?
same thing with confidence.
start doing hobbies. put forth the full effort in the same way you did lifting. get good at things. get great at things.
you'll make it if you keep working at it.
>>35005493
do you wear sweater vests and fly an american flag outside your window?
>>35005493
Enlisting and going airborne definitely changed me, I don't think you have to go so far really though, I did it for other reasons as well. But basically what I'm trying to say is that you have to get out of your comfort zone, put yourself in uncomfortable situations and thrive, this is what really builds confidence. And when you get into dating, you realize that it sucks but it ain't hard. If a girl is actually into you then it's not about being confident but just showing her that you can have a good time and of course giving her a good time.
>>35007166
So this applies to ugly people right cuz this is some shit right here bruh
People really fall for this dont they?
>>35005380
lifting made it worse for me, now i mostly act like a huge cunt around everyone and treat women as my property, i live in a socialistic gayrope country, so far it only made a lot of people hating me, no benefit for me, i think lifting raises your test level on an unnatural scale and makes you a psycho. before lifting i was actually okay at getting girls.
lifting does help combat stress very well thou
>>35005407
>>35005478
>>35005663
After doing face to face sales with people for 2 years, I can say that my conversation skills have gotten better.
I didn't translate to grills because I still don't know how to make my intentions clear, I don't know how to carry on a conversation interesting enough to your average qt, I can't make them love me :(
How can you fake something you have never experienced/don't know how it feels?
No. You need to be:
>Neurotypical
>Good looking
>Reasonably wealthy
>From a complete family
>>35007430
think about it
if an ugly girl did everything she could to make her personality a m a z i n g and oh shes so smart & sweet and yadda yadda whatever
would it make a difference?
would you actually settle for an ugly woman if you had the choice to have an attractive one?
>>35010044
I tick all 4 but I still splutter like an autist around qt grills.
>>35005407
t h i s
b
h
>>35010134
then you're probably not all 4 lol
the fact you're autist around girls pretty much guarantees that.
guys who are good looking and adjusted are going to experience females from primary school all the way to college,
they're never going to be too afraid to 'talk' to a girl because their whole life girls have been nice to them & receptive.
>>35005776
Enlist at some military branch
>>35005380
you can fake confidence up to a certain point, then she will find out your not really confident.
>>35005380
>>35005776
>>35005964
My advice applies to both of you, I am 32 almost 33 btw, and I have 3-4 fuckbuddies at any given time... I could have more but I work 50+hrs /wk, gym for 7hrs /wk, and I need to sleep 8-9hrs per night so I dont have a shit load of free time.
The first rule is TALK TO EVERYONE, and I mean every single fucking person you come into even semi-regular contact with. The front desk people at the gym, the janitor, the 80yr old man and his wife, the fat dude with bad hygeine, the ugly bitch, the hot bitches.... srsly f am just talk to everyone. It doesnt have to be about anything important or super serious just talk to people, find out their name, let them know your name, gather information through small talk.
At the gym if someone says "you using this bench?", just be like "Nah.... oh btw I see you in here all the time, whats your name?" introduce yourself small talk about anything "oh your name is Amy?, my cousins name is Amy, what kind of workout routine do you do?, etc, etc" just go slow get to know people and then next time you see them you arent a stranger, and then a few weeks after that Amy might be looking for some dick you never know, but you will certainly never know if you dont put yourself out there and make contact with people.
The second rule is PAY ATTENTION. Actually listen to what the fuck the people you are talking to are saying and try to apply it to the real world. Remember their names, if they say they like country music, and by chance you come upon some free country music tickets and you dont want them, save them and give them to that person. If you know someone from work that is a part time Yoga instructor and needs new clients and some cardiobunny you are chatting with is talking about how she wants to try Yoga let her know you know someone taking clients. Try to be helpful without being a little bitch, people will appreciate the fuck out of you.
(cont)
>>35010811
(cont)
Make sure you look people in the eye while you talk to them, and try to gauge what the fuck is actually up.... this can be hard for autistic people (read ~50-60% of /fit/), because they have a difficult time interpreting emotions, but the good news is that very few people are so autismo that they cant get better reading emotions with practice. Eventually you will understand the difference between people that are just being nice / trying to sell you something vs people that want to be your friend or get to know you better. Once you seperate those people, it becomes much more natural to ask those people if they want to hang out or go do something, etc.
As far as where to look for girls the easiest places are places where you will linger for long periods and the girls can be exposed to your personality over longer time frames (work, school, gym are the best IMO) this way you can work the advice I have given you and sift through people until you find the ones interested in you, unlike a night club or dating site, etc there isnt any pressure to make something happen quickly.
For the guy asking "what after college?" lmao f am, the best place to find young girls if you are in your late 20s-early 30s is COMMUNITY COLLEGE 100 level courses 2bh family. Just because you have a degree doesnt mean you cant sign up for a course or 2, shit is extreme easy mode, trust me on this, plus you arent doing shit in your spare time anyway. If you are /fit/ and already have a degree and a job you will be 10x more alpha than all of the other fuccbois in the class, the girls will be literally all over your dick ... dont ask me how I know :^)
I got the exact same problem OP
>kinda make it
>have friends try to set me up with girls because they think I'm attractive
>Sperg out and panic because deep down inside I'm still that weird, out of shape, dorky kid who used to own a naruto head band
This confidence thing is fucking hard.
>>35005380
I'm late to this thread but I've got a thing or two to say about confidence: Confidence doesn't exist. This is because confidence is based on appearances. You can be a loser that spends his weekends at home glued to a screen but if you have the looks or right attitude once you leave your home and mantain a cold blooded mind when facing daily problems and people they will see you as confident. However you might be shitting yourself inside because of social anxiety. Truth is, if you want to look confident, literally look confident, don't even try to act confident, that will come with the looks.
>>35011725
I say this because I think of myself as an insecure awkward dumbass, but when referred to from other people I'm a serious and extremely confident dude. Nobody can see how you feel in your mind, they can only judge you from your actions and appearance
>>35005444
>Lifting hasn't cured my social anxiety
>Exercise hasn't helped my social life
>Laughingsluts.png
>>35010811
>>35010821
This is pretty gud. Just talk to people. The absolute easiest and least scary people are old ladies. They love talking to random, nice, young people. You have to start somewhere. Build up to more and more anxiety inducing people. Only way to beat it is exposure
>>35007166
>tfw there is a wizard at my job that makes anyone say his name 3 times before responding
DESU senpai either you will look like a turbo autismo or handicapped deaf person if you don't acknowledge someone promptly when they say your name. Not saying u don't have a point but I am cringing imagining /fit/ betas staring off into space as someone talks to them...
>>35011725
>>35011739
Retarded sjw tier advice . Confidence means you are prepared. Here's an example of why your advice is Shit.
Anyone can go to the club get loaded and fake being the most htam on the planet pull the baddest bitch take her home and fuck her. However the truth of the situation lies on the outcome. Did u beat the pussy raw and leave that bitch a shivering mess get the digits and acquire a new slam hog?
Or did you bust in three minutes because you spend all your time fapping to bang bros and you don't actually know the mattress mumba and you get to watch her gather her Shit shake her head leave and have a laff with her girls at the two pump chump while you get to curl into the fetal position and contemplate suicide
This is the difference
>>35011899
never said you should lose that fake confidence after you pick up a chick. After all If you're leaving with a chick you've already entered a comfort zone and no longer feel insecure.
>>35011899
>bust in three minutes
Learn to control your breathing.
>>35005407
This.
Try and sell something you know is shit. And you pick up methods that's work on people.
>>35005638
I don't think op gives a shit about you being able to tell. He is not trying to get inside you. He's asking if he can fake it to make it. Some people will fall for his fake confidence, you delusional faggot.
