Have done this thread a whole bunch of times now, everyone seems to react well to it.
/fit/ takes care of your body but we got to take care of your soul too.
Come in for a chat, share advice, ask advice, tell me your problems, complain and bitch, no matter how big or small we'll work through it.
"Come to me all you who are weary and burdened and I will give you rest"
Matthew 11:28
A little about me, have been making these threads for a year now, just a place for people to dump their worries and feel better.
Ex military, currently a tradesman, have been across the world and been higher than high and lower than low, not much I haven't seen or done. Good or bad.
>>34864170
'Reverend' and 'psychiatrist' are not synonyms. Represent one or the other, if you please.
Just bumping with whatever
>>34864187
"Reverend" is just what I ended up getting referred to in a thread here, and I liked it. Probably because of the mild christian undertones.
And that image just seems appropriate. Anything else I can help you with friend?
>>34864181
>Ex military, currently a tradesman, have been across the world and been higher than high and lower than low, not much I haven't seen or done. Good or bad.
This should come with a theme song. Leaving doge pic because meh.
>>34864220
Make it happen anon...
>>34864216
>"Reverend" is just what I ended up getting referred to in a thread here, and I liked it. Probably because of the mild christian undertones.
>And that image just seems appropriate
If you don't understand the power elements you use with here, I'm rather dissappointed. Image play my friend.
>>34864236
I'm still not following you old chap
>>34864252
Is this because I keked the grammar or because of the content?
>>34864263
Basically you want me to not use Reverend or the innocuous image from Charlie Brown...
Reverend, give me some help.
I'm currently in uni, and going out with this girl. Fine piece of ass, 5 years older than me. She is only here as an exchange student, so she will be heading back home in a couple of months. There's one thing about her though. She has absolutely no interests. No hobbies. Nothing to fill her spare time with except movies and normiebook. I lift, study, play music, and have goals in life. Why does this bother me so much? I thought banging a chick in her mid twenties while I'm still a teen would be fulfilling. There's feelings involved, but this feel I do not know. I thought life was about the little things.
>>34864275
Basically I want you to stop using both titles, reverend and psychiatrist. as one has nothing to do with the other. Not hating, just don't want either of them to get watered out, and misuse does this. If you are not a psychiatrist, please avoid using the title.
Hey Reverend, could use some advice external advice to help guide me to a solution; I've always had the lowest of standards, was willing to pursue a life of being drunk 24/7, travelling with no money and was just generally a filthy scumpunk but recently I've felt more and more like I'm worth more than that, no shame to those who enjoy that life. I've started feeling like I want higher quality out of life. Been reading more books, showering and cleaning more, eating stricter and just trying to improve myself as much as possible. I'm torn between these two completely opposite lifestyles and can't decide which one I'm happier in. I even made a pros and cons list, thats how desperate I am. Any advice?
>>34864293
So basically you'd say that you don't have any parallel interests? Sex is good and we all love it but if you're looking for something more fulfilling you need to be connected in other ways. It can be frustrating when you're a person who likes to live, and you come into contact with someone who just likes to exist. You'd probably say yourself you'd prefer a woman who has a bit more passion and depth am I right?
At any rate shes going back home anyway, are you going to miss her?
>>34864299
Its just a picture pal. I never said I was a psychiatrist. Reverend is my nickname on here. IRL people call me BFG but that doesnt mean I'm actually a giant.
Hey Reverend, I could use some advice. I'm unsure whether to follow a career in academia (final year of bachelor's at a good university right now) or try to join the firefighters or Coast Guard. I've grown bored with academia, but it'll be a more 'secure' career. On the other hand, I'm not sure I'm really cut out for firefighting and such, so I'm conflicted.
>>34864341
>Its just a picture pal. I never said I was a psychiatrist.
>Subliminal messaging is news to me.
>>34864323
Hey friend.
First off, how old are you?
Generally speaking, almost everyone will have one of those really off the rails years. It feels good because you allow yourself to fall off grid and pursue a life of hedonism.
Theres nothing wrong with doing that, because at our cores we all enjoy pleasure without consequence. But as you probably well know it catches up with you eventually. How's your general health? Any anxiety or depression from the constant hangovers?
It's good that you've started to feel more fulfilled though, structure and discipline are a good thing and help up move forward.
I think the key for you is balance, youre enjoying a new progressive outlook but also are a party animal. Why can't you have both? I would suggest using your partying side to reward your disciplined side in moderation. Ie, work your balls off 6 days a week, have a few beers and socialise on the seventh.
Try to cut down drinking and excess though, its a lot more rewarding getting to relax after a hard week of work.
>>34864341
We can connect as in we can talk easily about anything. We have fun, but I feel that if she had ambition in life I'd feel even more attracted. Right now she's sort of this beautiful husk of a woman. Pleasing on the eyes and to the touch, but no real drive inside of her. I always get the same recurring thought: by the time I get to her age, I feel like I would be way ahead in life compared to where she is now. Maybe I'm just over thinking things, Reverend.
And yes, I'll miss her, definitely. I feel like she could be so much more.
Also, there's the possibility that I could see her again, I've been planning on studying abroad this coming year (decision I made before knowing her) and coincidentally, one of my possible destinations is close to her hometown.
Just want your thoughts on everything, not really looking for a direct solution, I'm sure this will come with time.
>>34864365
Hi chum.
First off, why are you not cut out for firefighting? And why the sudden change of heart?
Would it be possible for you to progress like this... >continue with degree however boring
>whilst doing degree, train and train and train and read about firefighting/coastguarding, absorb all knowledge you can about the professions so that when you leave uni, you have the option to do either one
Your life, but I would stick with the uni, because you only have a year to go and you've come this far, but also be making progress with firefighting and coastguard stuff so that when the time comes, you could do either one..
>>34864170
Hey rev, I've got something I gotta dump. I feel like my circle of friends don't really care about me. In the way that we'll talk, laugh, etc and such when we see each other but when we don't see each other for a while, I don't get any phone calls, no texts, and even my facebook is quiet. I really don't get invited anywhere as well. The only "invites" I get are sent out to the entire group of friends, even then if I decide to go, I'm by myself for most of the time. I this leaves me to believe I'm just not wanted feeling lonely. I only have five people who contact me when they want to hang. The sad part is that four of those are online friends. If there is any insight you can give me that would be greatly appreciated.
>>34864400
18, legal drinking age here (Aus) which makes it harder to only party occasionally as binge drinking is near enough to a national sport here. I didn't even consider balancing them both, I figured I could only have one or the other. Feel like a bit of a nonce for that. Thankyou for your help and good luck with whatever you pursue!
>>34864413
The problem with the people we like is that we see their flaws more clearly. Sometimes we see something missing and because we hold them so highly In regard we don't like the flaw and wish it wasnt there.
The problem I'm seeing here though is that you're a driven and ambitious person and she sounds pleasant, but sort of lacklustre. I'm the same as you and I get frustrated when I see people wasting their potential. I can't tell you exactly what you want to hear but I think that you'll end up a little bored if you put more effort into this.
I've been with a girl for 3 years. We split up about a month and a half ago for reasons that were my fault. Basically, I treated her like shit so she doesn't trust me anymore. About a week ago she told me that she had been talking to another guy. After that she told me that she isn't going to talk to him anymore, wants to take her time getting back with me, because she's trying to balance school, work, and the stress of us getting back together. SHe wants to be on a "loyal friends with benefits" kind of relationship with me for the meantime. So we basically go out on dates and still fuck. Anyway, my main questions are
>Is this shit salvageable
>Do I forgive her for talking to the other guy?
>Do I even still worry about her talking to the other guy?
>Should I worry if I see her on Facebook or some shit without replying to me?
So I've been dating this chick and she wants nothing serious, alright.
We text and sext a lot. Now, I don't wanna go into the details but when we texted about hooking up in a changing room, I asked when we're gonna go shopping and she said I'm paying. I playfully said I'm paying for all the stuff on the dates too and she suddenly thinks I want that money back and now barely responds. What the fuck? What do?
Also, why the fuck am I being so desperate about it? I already accepted that it's nothing serious, but now I feel like shit.
>>34864449
Thank you, Reverend. May everything you work for come to you.
>>34864426
Hey pal.
That sounds pretty awful. No one should ever be lonely. What's your living circumstances? At home or alone?
It's not an easy position to be in at all but if you want to break out of it you need to put yourself out there more. Obviously these people are your friends but if they don't make you feel valued you either need to bring this up or find a new way to socialise. What's your hobbies/interests? Is there any way to find people local who do the same?
Maybe you should consider that its not a case of the social group excluding you but more like they're dragging you down. Keep talking with me here.
>>34864429
Ever heard of "work hard play hard"?
Write yourself up a schedule, keep a rigid routine during the week something like
Mon-Fri, work, lift, eat good, study, learn skills etc
Sat, socialise drink eat shit food fuck smoke
Sun, reflection and meditation day, do something creative, carpentry, writing painting etc
Letting loose is only rewarding if you feel like you deserve it.
>>34864457
lol, you got a lot to learn buddy
>>34864499
Thanks for the input
hello rev, may the gains bless you. Im 21, and an incredible pussy. In my head, i know how i should act and behave as a man, but when the time comes up (mainly confrontation) i freeze up, and become a bitch. For example, im decent looking and have a few cute girl acquaintances check me out, it boosts my ego, makes me feel great, on top of the world, and naturally i'd like to talk to them. Instead, i'll smile, or say hi if they look my way, and walk away instead of conversing. Im always hesitant and cower away. I absolutely hate it, because the voice in my head knows what to do, how to do it, but my body always freezes up when it comes to it. Another example, i got sucker punched, the fight got immediately broken up. I know i should've immediately beat the fuck outta the guy, instead i sat down and let it go. My main problem, applying & performing my thoughts, it happens even with my closer friends and carries over in other facets of life like socializing and lifting. I want to correct this but i don't know how
>>34864451
So first up, what was it you did? You don't even have to tell me, but I want you to genuinely just think about it, don't sugarcoat it, just consider how harmful it was.
Now, in relationships,when one partner does something shitty, the knee jerk reaction for the other is to be angry and do something stupid (usually).
It's good that shes willing to try and make it work, shes willing to forgive and move forward. But if she says she wants to take it slow, you got to take it slow. Women don't react well to pressure.
Basically be patient, don't push and prod, don't expect the world, because ultimately you're still in the wrong. Itll play with your mind I know, the inclusion of this other guy, but you need to remember you did something bad.
It's salvageable if you're patient and let her come to you. Don't force it.
Also take it as an opportunity to have some time for you too, pursue some things that make you happy. You have to ask yourself what it was in the relationship that made you unhappy that made you do the bad thing and address that first.
Keep talking to me.
>>34864457
(Pics of her ass please)
That's a tough one pal, the thing is people never like to feel like they're not independent. Even though you were just joking around its possible she got upset over not feeling like the independent woman she thinks she is. If you guys are just a casual thing that would indicate she does view herself as "aint needing no man". It's wise to address this an apologise, even if you don't feel you're in the wrong.
If you're feeling upset that may indicate you might like her more than you think, is that fair for me to say?
Also why are you paying for everything????
>>34864473
Please carry on talking if you need
>>34864425
Thanks rev. I'm just gonna finish uni and maybe go to an information day/event of the firefighters/coast guard when there is a chance. After all is said and done, I'll see what appeals more to me.
>>34864569 (I'm >>34864457)
Yeah I might like her a little more.
You're right, shes a bit like I don't need no man. I might apologise cause this is really childish.
We've been out twice and I paid like one drink that's it. Thank you
Hey rev,
I've been rather depressed when I was younger, barely any friends, WoW nerd shut-in that got kicked out of his guild for being so toxic and shit. Started turning my life around in 2nd year of Uni, starting sports (taekwondo to start off back then), trying to hang out with people etc. I went to Japan for a year and that really helped me become a better person, more positive, more relaxed. Problem is, sometimes when I get drunk and remember some of the shit I used to do and think, I get really depressed and sad, and sometimes that happens while I'm around my friends. I feel like I'm subjecting them to bad vibes and that can't be good, they're good people but I don't wanna bother them with my old woes. How can I stop being a depressed fuck when I get shitfaced with friends?
>>34864612
i think you should look and accept and how you used to be. No one was born into the perfect mold of standards that you have fictitiously created and hold yourself up to. Relax, breathe, and look at how far you've accomplished in terms of becoming a better person, and instead of looking to the past, look to the future. getting shit faced? talk & think about things you can do, not things you did. The past version of you is long gone
>>34864569
Basically I was a fuckboy who took her for granted. Talked about how I would get with someone else if I wasn't with her. Didn't acknowledge when she tried to make herself feel attractive, would choose to hang out with my friends instead of her. So, yeah, I started working on that and making her a priority. I just made the mistake fucking up her trust of me, sounds like.
Now it's like whenever I do something nice or compliment her it's like she blows it off or doesn't believe me.
So, I forgive her about the other guy?
And ignore that she doesn't respond because Facebook or whatever?
>>34864535
May the gains be with you too.
First up, I have to say being able to actually admit to the problem and identify it so intimately is pretty brave already.
People suffer from not being able to articulate themselves properly or from being able to assert what they want but the worst thing about this is the second guessing that you do afterwards. So stop that right now. All the times In your head it didn't go as planned, forget it. In the past. No changing it. Who cares.
The problem is is that you fear what that voice in your head is going to say after, before you even begin you've already failed, its a vicious cycle.
Its hard to build up, but whenever you find yourself in a situation where you feel like you're overwhelmed, breathe deep, clear your mind and count internally to five until you feel more relaxed. Sure it might look a bit strange if a cutie is checking you out, but she'll forget that bit once you get talking.
Have you considered any kind of help with anxiety! This sounds like mild stage anxiety to me.
Keep chatting
>>34864596
Good Lad! I hope you do well in either one but keep your options open!! If things don't work out with the firefighting you can call back on your degree!
>>34864170
Hi there. I have a lot going for me. But can't seem to progress in life.
>good facial aesthetics
>loyal gf of 4 years
>strong and fit. goal body from 6 years ago achieved
>24 years old
>respected by peers etc
But I have a chit temporary job that ends after Christmas. I didn't finish high school. Not good at picking up new work skills and struggle to keep jobs for more than a few months at a time, which is making it increasingly difficult to find anyone willing to hire me for even entry level stuff.
I have schizophrenia (mild) and ptsd but take no medication for it in fear of it interacting with all the gear and vast amount of stimulants I take. I also don't like the idea of medications that alter my mind.. I'm just against it.
It makes new work environments impossible to deal with for more than a few months and I end up quitting or getting fired. Even though everyone is always very nice to me and wants to stay buddies after firing me.
The money situation is bad. Me and my girlfriend can afford to eat, and pay for presents for peoples birthdays and Christmas etc but that's about it. I can't afford a car or to even take lessons. Which is really starting to destroy my mental health.
I have distanced myself so much from friends and family in hopes of going back to them once I have my shit together. But it's now been years. The only person I am even remotely close with is my girlfriend, who I let down with my failure every single day of my life.
How do I get out of this mess? How I accumulate enough money to enjoy life rather than endure it?
>>34864488
I'm 22 and still live at home with my parents. I'm not a freeloader or anything. I've got an okay job, I pay them rent, pay my bills and I've got enough leftover to fuck around with. My hobbies include cartoons, some anime playing LoL, and I want to learn how to play the piano and speak french. Hell, I even want to be a cop. I'm applying and training to be a volunteer cop then go on to be full time.
>>34864603
Everyone has pride in themselves but some peoples pride is easier to damage than others. Just say sorry. Even turn it into a joke "okay okay you can take me out for a drink to make up if you really must".
>>34864612
I think I can see the one obvious catalyst herd, getting shitfaced.
Alcohol is a depressant. It can cause all kinds of horrible mental anguish in large amounts because it unlocks and enhances emotions.
It sounds like you've got your life turned around and I'm happy for you but its almost like you're second guessing it, like you don't think you deserve it when you do!
I would say have a drink by all means, but try to pace yourself, don't get shitfaced, get nicely buzzed and leave it there. Be proud of what you've achieved and stop holding yourself accountable for things you've moved on from.
>>34864663
>>34864663
Okay. Yeah that does sound like all her trust has gone really. Sounds like she has some self esteem issues as a result.
BUT you're being a big man and admitting what you did wrong so its time to set it straight. Forget about the other dude he's not important.
You have to ask yourself, are you right for each other? Is being with you hurting her? It's a tough one to swallow but maybe the hurt ran so deep that it's not going to get better and you're both not going to anything but hurt each other.
It sounds like you're asking too many questions of her when you need to look inside yourself, "why did I do these things and what does that say about me?" And "am I healthy for her?"
I'm not hating on you, you're not a bad guy just need to assess what otvis you need to change to make it right for her.
>>34864170
>>34864170
I used to be totally lanky at 6 foot 3.
not im 21 and ive gotten a lot stronger and bigger but im scared that ive falen for the squatting troll because my legs are bigger than my upper body now :(.
i used to be super fast too and im deeply scared that ive lost that.
basically im just concerned that ive put too much mass on a body that wasnt designed for it and id look better if i hadnt started lifting.
desu its only a small fear tho. i love my physique now really and my posture and all ahs been improved greatly by liftn
>>34864694
Hey brother
(Got some real nice things going for you there not going to lie)
Weirdly I was going through something veeerrryyy similar last year so this is something that hits close to home.
Okay first up, what's your work history like? This sounds like something that isn't really your fault, the job market is vicious and completely illogical.
"Cleaner needed: 387 years experience and two Olympic gold medals required" is pretty much how it works.
Your girlfriend sounds amazing so its expected that you'd want to give her a good life. It's sad when two people can only really have a basic life together.
Remember you're young though and you're not going to be like this in your 80s are you?
This one may take a few posts to help with so I want to know what you're good at to start with? What skills do you have? What country are you in? Could you do an apprenticeship to learn a trade?
Also I know its shameful to have to rely on your family but they love you and want the best for you, I think you need to tell them that this is what's worrying you and reconnect.
>>34864802
Well, yeah I know that the trust is gone for the time being but won't it get better? Like, I feel like she wouldn't still be doing all this is she didn't feel anything for me. Like, I know it's other stuff hurting her, but I don't wanna hurt her. But, yeah, maybe I am at this time. What do I do if I want to fix it all but not pester her at the same time?
>>34864768
Well that's all pretty positive stuff, from what I know of Cop life theres a lot of camaraderie and everyone is very solid and tight with each other. It seems like you have your shit together so maybe what has REALLY happened is that you've outgrown your social circle... How long til you become a full blown Cop?
>>34864871
I'm 6'3 myself and 6 months into lifting I looked like a mutated fuckgoblin from the hellscape. But I started to even out. Everyone progresses in weird ways.
Post current body pic? Also literally most common concern on this entire board is body dysmorphia
>>34864949
Well you answered your own question there brother, she wouldn't stick around if she hated you so that's good man!
The best advice I can give you and anyone is
>A man is judged by his actions not his words
For you this would mean that you should forget about Facebook messaging and all that and just do the things you say you will.
Don't text her or message her all the time, I'm not saying give her the cold shoulder, text her In the morning with something nice then just leave it for the day until the evening. If she doesn't reply to stuff don't bombard her. Basically don't speak until spoken to. You're in the doghouse now and she has the upper hand. It's hard to take but you'll have to put up with it until she becomes more open with you.
Basically do nice things for her instead of saying nice things.
>>34865020
So, don't freak out that she doesn't want me posting about us to social media, or even texts back 100% of the time?
When is an appropriate time to talk to her about our relationship? Or do I just let stuff fall into place?
Like, we still cuddle and say I love you, and like I said, have sex. So, I guess we wouldn't be doing this is she was trying to let me down was she?
>>34865069
Yeah brother, don't freak out. Listen youre not a bad guy but maybe your relationship got a little intense on both sides and now what you both need is a good gentle cool down.
The appropriate time will just happen. You both need to change in the meantime before it happens.
She wouldn't be still saying I love you if she didn't so just relax.
It's hard to not be keyed up and nervous about losing someone but just take the time for you. Start meditating, start putting effort into "I" not "We". I guarantee if she sees you focusing on yourself and making yourself better without her saycso that's going to be a clearer indicator of change than you talking to her.
>>34864956
It will be a while till I'm full time but now I'm applying to be a volunteer officer. I'll have most of the duties of an actual cop. Plus it's great experience to see what it's like and it greatly boosts my chances to be a full time officer because I have that experience and I would know most of the guys that work there.
>>34864671
The voice is not condescending, its my thoughts on how & what to say. That aspect of me is necessary in order to rationalize and think ahead. However, it is self-limiting in terms of accepting emotions and living in the present. Overall, it's the driving force of my psyche and personality, the issue that you diagnosed right is mild stage anxiety but only on micro interactions. I have no problems standing in front of a crowd or group and speaking because i can consciously think "fuck all these people, i'll say what i want to say". However when there's 1-2 people, all of a sudden i stop thinking. This has plagued me for 7 years, around the time i joined my hs's football team and learned how to better interact and form friends. How can i repair this part of my personality? self doubt crushes me just before i need to perform
tldr; i'm a boss when there are more than 3 people, and weak when it's less than 3
>>34864890
Thanks for the response rev.
My work history, well.. I'm paranoid as fuck about someone knowing me on here so I can't really specify. But a number of years back I had a solid paying job but during one of the projects I ended up being deemed unsuited on due to health concerns. After that I have had about 3 retail jobs and a warehouse job. Each for less than 2 months at a time. With widening gaps inbetween...
Where I live the vast majority of apprenticeships are for under 19 year olds. Sometimes under 21. I dunno why exactly.. maybe something to do with having to pay them less. I wouldn't suit an apprenticeship anyway. I'm very bad at picking up new skills/learning things. They always want some smart kid who came straight from highschool ready to learn.
I can't really rely on family though. I've never been close to them at all and seriously doubt love goes in either direction. I gave my mother a forced hug when her dog died. But apart from that I haven't hugged a family member since I was about 9.
I don't really know what I'm good at though. I always thought I was good at everything. But I can't seem to prove it to anyone.
Whenever an opportunity to prove myself has came up recently I always somehow mess it up by having no sleep and freaking out. Or just having one of those paranoid weeks where people try to stay away from me. I dunno. I forget what I'm answering here but the main problem with showing my skills is having to deal with people being people around me. With the except of my girlfriend, I cannot stand the "normalness" is that makes sense. I don't know how to describe it. But when I'm face to face with people I can't help but think everything they are saying or doing is either pointless or it's a trick of some sort. Which makes it impossible to take in what they are saying or asking me to do. I come across like I just don't listen even when I'm trying my hardest to keep it in my mind.
Fuck man I'm rambling to the max lol.
>>34865140
Final question. How long is too long to be doing this though?
I used to get sad once in a while, no reason, just being unmotivated and what not. Ever since I started working out/practising MA I haven't felt like that very much, my minds not busy when I do either, but is just very much blank.
However, lately I've been feeling that sadness creeping on me, I feel lonely once in a while, but that doesn't seem to be the problem.
Should I see a therapist? Does that really help? Or should I look into other self fulfilling activities instead.
Help dude, please
>very analytical
>very creative
>do a finance degree, takes 5 years
>do freelance graphic design during that time
>finish degree
>no idea which route to take, creative or financial, fucking stuck
I must scream but I have no mouth
>>34865155
That's really good mate and you sound really bright and forward thinking. Its bad of you feel alone, but here you are recognising that. What about dating?
>>34865158
>>34865158
I'm wondering over this one myself to be honest but not giving up on you.
It's oddly specific that one on one reaction is your problem and not crowds. Usually it's the other way around. You don't have a stutter or anything do you? Or slow reaction times? Any problems with dyslexia or hand eye coordination? Ever had a concussion? I only ask because its interesting your problems started when you started playing football.
It's possible you don't react well when surprised or caught off guard, this would indicate a certain amount of introversion, ie you're stuck in your own head an if someone interrupts your train of thought it jars you worse than others.
I'm just leafing through some books. Keep talking.
>>34864365
I'm not rev, but if you get your degree first you could go officer in coast guard or any military branch. Something to consider.
>>34865208
I'm still here I'm just browsing through and formulating something for you.
>>34865216
Depends. How much do you love her and how important to your life is she?
>>34865232
Without a doubt that is depression of some sort.is there a cycle? Is it stronger at certain times of year? Do you get highs following lows?
I'd recommend talking to a specialist but its help to know what kind of things go through your head when you feel this way? Please tell more.
>>34865238
Hey mandingo
Sounds like you've got two solid options there.
Which one would actually make you happy? Sure you could make tonnes of cash but what would be more fulfilling?
Which one could you jump into right away right now?
Also, what about moving into finance for stability and carrying on doing freelance design on the side, push money from finance work into savings, build up client base, network like crazy, when ready... Set up your own graphic design business.
>>34865281
Thanks a lot rev. There's this girl. Two of them actually; they're twins. They're both cool and fun to be around. I was gonna eventually ask one of them out on a date or something. I've been out of the game for so long I almost don't know what to do. I've been focusing on school and getting my shit together first. I think about asking both of them but I realized that this is the real world and it wouldn't fly. Fun to think about though. The other girls in my circle are either not interested, too young, or have way too much emotional baggage for me to carry.
>>34865380
She's incredibly important. Right now we ended up talking about me posting a picture of us. Her exact words were
"It's just we aren't really together... That puts out the message we are. I realize that months ago I wanted you to post about me and us."
and "But I realize now that I'd rather just be treated the way that I wanted to be treated. Forget all of the social media stuff. Well, sometimes"
Is she saying she wants me to do that or someone else? I had told her I understood, apologized, and asked if I'm at least treating her the way she wants me to. Was that the right thing to do?
God bless you, Reverend.
>>34865208
What was the solid job if you don't mind me asking?
How is it not also discrimination to let someone go on medical... If its to do with your schizophrenia I'd say you have a massive chunk of money waiting for you if you took it to a court.
Apprenticeshipwise thats no good, although remember these are the corporate and goverment backed ones. What about just networking a little and finding a decent tradesman near you and offering to be his assistant in exchange for some money and skills?
I'm a tradesman and I have three employees, I'd take you on board if you came to me ready to work and with a good attitude. And its not hard to learn how to paint a house or build a bench, you can charge good money for either.
Can you do high school certificates in evening classes or at a college? I think thatd be a positive step forward for your confidence.
I'm sad about your family, but at least you have a GF who seems to be supportive and loving that's lucky.
It sounds like the PTSD and schizophrenia are taking a bit of a toll on you, can you receive counselling for this?
>>34865435
Bro, just put the picture up and tell her you're putting it up because you want to be seen with her.
If she has a problem with it then tell her that it won't work out and stop hanging around with her.
>Without a doubt that is depression of some sort.is there a cycle?
There's definitely times where it comes and go, but I don't count, so I don't know if its months or what, not that often desu.
>Is it stronger at certain times of year? Do you get highs following lows?
Certainly the winter.
>I'd recommend talking to a specialist but its help to know what kind of things go through your head when you feel this way? Please tell more.
I don't really have suicidal thoughts, I used to when I was a teen, but it was more of a call for attention (i'd threaten my mom I'd kill myself). I just feel like, like nothing I do is worth doing, like I'm a failure, not that I'd deserve to die or that I should kill myself, just that I'll never accomplish anything, probably the best way to put it.
>>34865425
>tfw this guy says he's lonely and is probably fucking qt twins but being modest about it
You player.
But seriously, maybe this is the perfect time to just get back into the game, you're concentrating on you and improving yourself, why not get a few dates each week too?
>>34865435
God bless you more brother
It sounds like she's really really confused and doesn't want the additional stress of having to work out what she wants. If you're still having sec and saying I love you thats a positive thing.
I'd say she doesn't want it to be public because she wants your business to be private for a bit. In any break up friends and family always chip in with their opinions so she probably wants to keep it on the down low. It's obviously really stressful for her but yo both have to accept that there will be Times that you both aren't the most Important thing in the world and that relationships occasionally need to make room for other parts of life. This is a good thing though it shows trust and independence.
>>34865281
Football was a life changing experience where i learned how to connect with people, because it was team sport. Most of my life pre-hs, i spent studying, playing video games and not interacting with many people except for the neighborhood kids that have become life long friends. Football didn't give me any injuries, no concussions, it established confidence in me, allowing me to walk with my back straight, and chest out. It is absolutely true that i don't react well when caught off guard. Just 3 days ago, i was studying at the library, i was really focused on the material when this cute girl i know walks up saying hi, and attempts to talk to me. I was completely in the study zone, and could not think of how to carry the conversation other than asking about how she was, (which is just a reflex), and instead of actively listening and asking followup questions or cracking jokes i stayed silent, she said good luck reading and walked away. After that, i looked back at my book and realized i blew a great opportunity and thought what i will say to her. 2 hours later, the library is closing, i call out to her as we walk out, walk to the cafeteria with topics to talk about pre-planned, flirted made her laugh, all the good stuff. There are times where im on top of my game even in small interactions, but 75% of the time, im not. That's where im at in my life.
How about you, anything you'd like to ease off your mind
>>34865520
Okay so, its worse in winter. This would make me think it's Seasonal Affectional Disorder (appropriate acronym of SAD).
Most people feel a lot lower in mood during the winter but some people are a lot more affected by it. Basically you have mild depression already but the depressing atmosphere of winter triggers it more.
In a typical low or black mood how long does it last for?
So there is this qt3.14 I met this semester and her and I been talking/flirting. She got me a job at a store also (which she works at). Anyways I have a feeling she likes me, but idk what to do. Should I just suggest to her if we should go on a date?
>>34865558
I only asked because I thought it was strange you said it started with football. I'd assumed maybe you had a concussion left untreated, which may have explained feeling flustered when caught off guard. I know a similar case.
But obviously its not that.
In regards to your story, at least you got to repair it and go and flirt with the hottie afterwards. It's hard to not nest yourself up if you don't say the right thing right away but there are some simple exercises to help you push through the nerves, I'll just try to find this booklet I know of that's great for this.
You seem to know exactly what the problem is though and you're very eloquent and we'll informed about it, so let me ask you, what do you believe the solution to be? What would help you? What change would you like to see?
Also what are you like when you're drunk? Just curious. I'm wondering if actually you have a non verbal stutter ie your words don't trip over each other but the process is the same. This can be corrected easily and I have some techniques.
>>34865670
Nothing ventured
Nothing gained
Take her to a zoo or aquarium. These are the best 1st date places.
>>34865467
I'm sure it was all in the contract though. You can be pulled and reassessed for your own health. Something along those lines.
That is a good point about the apprenticeship things though. I'll try phone up some of the numbers they usually have on the side of their vans? I'm good with building things, I built my own wardrobes and bed frame earlier this year.
I just fear the time it would take and the low pay of being an apprentice. People I've spoke to who went down that route seem to get half the minimum wage? At least here in the UK anyway that seems to be the norm.
I dont know how people manage to do evening classes or get into courses at college or anything though. That shit costs so much money and I'm in enough debt as it is aha. Not much compared so some people but with such a low income it's a lot to us.
I dunno about counselling. I dunno how that even works or how to ask for it. But it probably wouldn't work for me anyway. When I'm face to face with people I get too paranoid that it's some kind of trick to get what they want. I cant see myself admitting my problems to anyone to be honest. Except for my girlfriend of course. She knows literally everything, even things I didn't tell her.
Thanks rev. You seem like an awesome guy. Thank you for the help. You have all been good to me on /fit/ over the years.
>>34865539
Is there anything extra I should say or do, or just say something along the lines of "Hey I like you, lets go have dinner."?
>>34865768
wanna uggs and some fuck?
>>34865747
Ahhhhh UK same here Whereabouts pal?
Might be worth just enquiring about it through one of those solicitors you see on telly.
True about apprenticeships, but again that is the standard for the government funded ones. Being the assistant to some builder would be decent pay, have you gone on Gumtree and looked at the job section nearby?
Also what is it you really want to do? I feel that would be a question worth answering before you go any further. You know you could do a foundation degree and get a student loan?
Counselling you can get through your GP, the NHS should have a decent support network for people like yourself.
I think I have depression. But I'm worried that I will try to convince doctor to use it(depression) as excuse. Is there a point to check it?
>>34865768
"Hey baby r u frm Iraq cuz u shud Baghdad ass up"
Is she keen on you too? Can you tell?
Be smooth, don't be nervous second guess yourself. Flirt a little, pick up the vibe.
Ask her to go to the Zoo or and Aquarium or Paintballing or Breakdancing lessons, something fun you can both laugh at NOT THE CINEMA, dinner is for the second date too.
Just straight up ask, with a smile on your face, if she seems hesistant or says no just give a little shrug and a smile and say "no worries" and leave it there
>>34865848
It's actually hard to diagnose depression. Its easy for me to say "that sounds like depression" so I try to avoid saying it as a concrete thing. Doctors have this same problem.
You would have to present with several years worth of feeling that way so I don't think you have to worry about feeling like its an excuse.
I'm a little confused though are you worried the doctor wont take you seriously?
>>34865680
Thank you, i'd certainly appreciate any books on powering through the mental hurdles, as well as techniques to overcome a non verbal stutter. i have mental stutters when attempting to be creative. Occasionally i will stutter the first word of a sentence, but the rest of the sentence will be fine. As for my personal rx that could work, cognitive dissonance therapy to fully understand that one individual whom i don't know extensively well, genuinely likes and appreciates my company with no ulterior motives. If i were to have that deep rooted understanding, and truly believe it, i would be able to over come this and not be on a Tibetan Child Trafficking Image Based Forum . I don't drink
>>34865815
Right now somewhere up in Scotland again. What about you man?
I don't really want to do anything, to be honest. My old line of work is the only thing that suits me but that is out of the question. It's like my whole career and life plan was laid out and then taken away.
Thanks for the help rev. It's been nice to speak to someone who seems real and genuine.
Now that I think about it, you've gave me the best idea. People like me can be healed, right? The NHS love it when people can be recorded as healed/fully treated etc. I bet with some internet research I could easily make it look like I heal a lot faster than usual and sign up to get back out there once more.
Thank you man. I now officially love these threads. I know what to do now. If it all works out I'll make a thread for you with the same picture to thank you.
Good luck everyone. Let's get
>>34865020
How do I show her I love her without prodding and pestering her towards rushing into a relationship. Like, last night I just took her out to get coffee and we had a great time. Do I keep doing that or do I like, write out notes and give small gifts as well?
>>34865897
I'm just curious about your problem as it seems to be something to do with one on one interaction and I want to know what the root cause is.
What's your social and family circles like?
>>34865855
I don't think she's keen on me. Yet. I'll take your advice and go from there. Thank for all of the help Rev. It feels so fucking good that someone out there cares about you. God bless you! I wish you a long life and a huge dick.
>>34865895
I'm worried that I just think that I have depression and I will try to convince doctor that I have it to use it as excuse instead of admitting fact that I some scared loser.
>>34865917
I'm in Leeds.
What was the line ofceork if you don't mind me asking? No one knows who you are just be vague if need be.
Glad I could help I'll be in the thread as long as its alive. Say hello next time you see one too I'll try to keep doing them each week.
Get back into the NHS to get the support you need pal. It sounds like you're doing everything all by yourself and that is ridiculously strong of you but you need something to take the edge off. For you and your girlfriend. Get to your GP this week please. Don't take shortcuts with your mental health.
And look at some foundation degrees, education is free in Scotland!
>>34864956
will try take one and upload it later. desu im wary of it though. if responses are positive it might clue my ego too much into my weight training, which is really done for other reasons.
thanks tho brah. quality thread. interesting point about body dysmorphia
>>34866003
Is it? I thought it was only if you were born there.
And I'm just too paranoid lol. I feel like someone already knows it's me. But it definitely is good enough to get our finances in order. The long term commitment is definitely worth it if I can convince the nhs docs that I am in good health again and get them to sign the thing.
>>34866003
Is the "storm" to hit you guys too this week? weather has been wicked up here man.
>>34865924
That's a great start champ... Just KISS (keep it simple stupid) dont go overboard don't push it. Let her come to you. Notes and gifts are good butvuse your judgement, do you mean what you wrote?
>>34865974
I care about each and every /fit/izen on here. Youre going to be just fine man, get out there and be the man you know you can be.
>tfw when my dick doubled in size
>>34866088
I mean everything I wrote to her. Like, I just don't wanna overdo it and she leave me, or under do it and she leave. Last night she leaned in to kiss me for the first time in ever, and even called me later that night. Then it's like the next day things will go back to all bad.
>>34866067
Other reasons?
Curious....
>>34866067
Oh are you not born there? Where you from then?
Oh wait, are you basically signed off from certain work because of doctors orders? In that case, get back to them straight away, get the process sorted quickly.
>>34866082
I think we've already had it to be honest. Which is a shame because I absolutely love hideously stormy weather.
I'll see you all on the other side. This has been the life opening for me. There's no better time than with this great rain storm... I love it too mate. Fucking love it too, just like I do all of you. /fit/izens.
>>34866163
If its from the heart and you're genuinely trying to make progress then you have nothing to fear. You'll have good moments and bad moments, but that's normal. They balance each other out!
>>34864170
Lurking but I just wanted to say I love you Rev, we're all gonna make it brah
I have had a horrible life where I was constantly denied things as a child and was powerless.
Now that I'm an adult I've finally gained an identity friends and a reason to live.
Despite people saying I'm a good person I hate it I wish to be like the people I grew around I wish I could be like them and have no sort of care for others.
I even adopted a mental code I call myself lucifer I feel like my entire life was a rebellion from the despair and pain from the hand I was dealt in life.
I'm in pain so much pain and I can't stop it.
No matter what I do I can't stop the pain no matter how much I improve its always not enough and I hate the fact I don't have the ability to quit something inside me refuses to do so
>>34866221
You're going to be just fine mate, I know it!
>>34866241
Love you to brother (some homo)
>>34866244
What kind of pain son?
What if we ever need the reverend and he isn't here?
>>34866285
>Years of physical and mental abuse
>being rejected due to my appearance as a child having no identity
>being abandoned by a parent due to finding someone else and left homeless
>being isolated for a long time as a boy
>>34866325
I keep my trip on all the time when posting on /fit/
You can always reply to me even if its in another thread.
I should set up an email address really for this purpose.
>>34866346
For the love of Christ, please do.
>>34866345
But you say that now, as a grown up you have friends and stability.
It's hard to forget the people that let us down in the past especially people who did it so badly like they did to you. But you're here, you're alive and you're being open. That's a start.
Being abandoned makes you never trust anyone again. You're applying that disappointment and pain to everyone you meet. It's a tough pill to swallow but there will be people who aren't like that at all that come into your life.
There are good people out there
I don't even know your name and I'd quite like you to not be feeling so torn up inside.
How do I cure my food addiction?
>Decide to start going to the gym because I am 250lbs of fat
>Find a reasonably priced one close to me
>Start going to it after weeks of routine planning and dietary planning
>First few times I go I walk past an old style sweet shop on the way
>Selling old style hard candy like lemon drops or blueberry balls, soft gummies etc
>I love this shit
>Can't resist anymore
>Gradually start 'treating' myself to bags of sweets after progressively smaller workouts
>Reach the point where I buy 3 or 4 bags of sweets and just go to workout for 4 minutes
>People at the gym start making fun of me
>Start saying things like ''this fatty always has blue balls and not just because no woman will fuck him''
>Get known as ''The Meaty Sweety where every day is a Cheaty''
>Have to quit the gym as I am GAINING weight fast
Feels terrible. Food will always be my master
Bit of backstory. Don't know if it even matters:
A few years back I decided to take dancing lessons. I met a wonderful girl there, Maria. I instantly fell in love with her and as luck would have it we were studying the same thing so we saw each other regularly at university.
When I asked her out she shot me down, but we stayed friends afterwards.
So a while ago she starts always being a bit stressed. I ask her why and she kinda evades the question. Then she says she'll tell me so I don't have to ask her sister, to which I reply that she doesn't have to tell me if she doesnt want to.
yesterday she brought it up again and told me she's in treatment for depression.
I don't know what to make of it. I really like her and want to help her.
Sorry if it's a bit hard to read, I kinda rewrote it several times because everything seems a bit confuse right now.
I haven't been able to visit my therapist in a long time and i still need more help.
I have major self esteem issues that have been haunting me for over 6 years now. I also had the same feeling i had last year this time where i wonder if life and everything I've done till now is worth it. Asking myself who really am i? How do i become the man i want to be instead of being beta? How do i stop thinking so apathetically of the world? How do i start from having suicidal thought? How do i make something out of myself? How to truly be happy with myself
>>34866429
You can call me a dick all you want but...
You quit the gym BECAUSE YOU gained weight?
>>34866451
Not hard at all.
That's pretty bad. Buuuuuuutttttt on the plus side she is in treatment. That means she's safe and making some progress. Are you going to be there for her? But you have to remember to be very careful about how you tread with it. Relieve the stress don't add to it.
>>34866505
My first question is....who is the man you want to be? Where do your goals lie?
How do I become a more fun person to be around? All I do is play a couple hours of video games a day, and work. Feels like my life is being vacuumed out of me.
>>34866646
Someone who isn't going to let others step on him, respected, and being able to not always showing their feelings always keeping it calm. As for goals i just wanna be a Physical Therapist before I'm thirty and travel the world and see what this planet had to offer. I'm only 20 getting ready to transfer from CC to finish my bachelors.
>>34866727
Sorry for the late reply I hope you're still here.
You didn't describe your social life outside this? What's your working hours like?
>>34866756
Well you sound really switched on, you have goals and know what you want to achieve. That's a good stepping stone towards a good life.
Do people step on you do you feel?
>>34867428
I was bullied in the past and let people take complete advantage of me before so I just avoided contacting a majority of people altogether. The same feeling I had last year is coming back. I just feel like being alone all the time even tho i hate it because im tired of being hurt and not being able to defend myself.
>>34864170
I want to leave my PhD at the 1 year mark with a MSc because I've realized I want to go into medicine.
How do I tell my PI?
>>34866429
>>'The Meaty Sweety where every day is a Cheaty''
Who the fuck keeps posting these?
I laugh every time
>>34867652
I'm sorry I took so long to reply, I've failed you.
I thought the thread had been pruned.
This is really sad and makes me mad people would take advantage now.
When you say the same feeling, what do you mean? Depression? Anxiety?
You know it isnt the water around a ship that sinks it but rather the water that gets let in and drags it down. You'll be surrounded by bad people in your life who will drag you down, that's a given. But you'll also be surrounded by good people who will care about you. It's tough to trust after years of hurt, but you have to take your time with it, theres a reason you out up defences, its lonely at first but you have to be careful with your heart.
What are you doing with your life right now?
>>34868159
PI?
>>34868785
I really appreciate the effort of you actually listening.
Probably both anxiety and depression. I just have a hard time socializing after everything that has happened before, im self conscious about everything. The people I talk to now don't even mean any harm but I just started distancing myself again. I'm currently full time college student, quit my job to focus more on school, and now that my grandfather is visiting taking care of him since he has dementia and its gotten even worse.
>Just started going to the gym a few months ago
>regularly working out five days a week
>eating a ton of protein
>look more fit than I ever have in my life
>still on the verge of suicide
>only reason I haven't done it yet is because i don't want my family to find me dead and be scarred
What gives /fit/?
>>34864170
I worry that I'll never get married. In the barracks, I stood quietly while the other (albeit, younger, still being mollycoddled by their parents) would be officers chatted excitedly about their exploits in strip clubs and how their girlfriends knew nothing.
I want to work out more, besides the cardio, body weight exercises and dumbbells, but I'm far too shy to go to the gym.
I am 20. I've never been in a relationship. I've rejected three girls, who I'm pretty sure were after brief sexual relationships.
>>34864181
>Ex military
What role? Chaplain?
Meet a girl of my dreams. Everything kicks off and we are getting on great. Shit hits the fan when we find out we are related somehow. She wants to keep going (her parents are against it or I atleast think so). I can't do it because I feel like I am lying and cheating her parents. We go off and on for months and we are at the breaking point. She told me to go away forever or be with her. I wanna marry this girl but huge obstacle. Fell in depression, sleep for few hours ever day so i am always tired. But I can't imagine being without her or her being with someone else. Literally anything I do is for her. Only peaceful at the gym anywhere else I am a living mess.
So my best friend(who is a girl) has this boyfriend for nearly 3 years. But i have been in love with her for nearly 4 years or so and we had our sparks in which it seemed like she wanted to be with me but I pussied out. I just can't stand it that I won't be able to get to her.
Also her mother passed away recently and well even though we rare spoke in the past few months(busy schedules) she was reaaaally emotional when she saw me at the funeral. Any advice?
But I don't know what to do. I have been waiting for nearly 3 years now but no result will come for it. Ofcourse i have been dating other girls but always with her in the back of my mind. I am just going crazy currently.
>>34864170
I'll bite. Reverend, I was engaged to a girl and she ended it rather suddenly. We where together for 5 years she lived with me for 3. We had been through hell and back, but always had eachother. She ended up ending it over texts and I never saw her again. She left her dog, car, pc, and all of her belongings at the apt. I sold her car boxed up her stuff and shipped it to her. I kept the pup bc its amazing. She has officially cut off all communications. I have gone through one night stands like crazy. I have banged every girl on the 1-10 spectrum. It just makes me feel worse each time. I have done a plethora of drugs. Nothing seems to help. I always end up hurting and missing her. How do I get over this? Thank you...
Reverend, I talked to her, and all was great until I pretty much told her I don't trust her after talking to that guy. Now she isn't responding to me and I can't stop fucking worrying. What do I do?
>>34869036
Wow. Being a sole carer is a daunting and really noble task. I'm urging you to make sure you get proper support from the authorities to aid you in looking after him.
It's bad that you're distancing yourself from people because itll cause a vicious cycle that just makes you lonelier. But you have to focus on why you're doing it and not force yourself to do anything you don't want to do. I'd focus on making acquaintances first, drinking buddies that kind of thing. People you can have fun with but not feel reliant on. It's important you ease yourself back in.
Got any love interests?
>>34869081
>>34869081
Oh you gotta give me more info than that pal, one thing Reverend likes is plenty of back story. So why are you feeling this way? What sort of thoughts do you have? What triggers them?
>>34869129
What's your branch? Good to meet another military man.
You realise that the marriage itself is unimportant its the finding someome worthy of your love? If it's just the idea of getting married that youre concerned with Im afraid you'll be disappointed. You could be the most perfect woman in the world and she may not even like marriage, you might just be dating her til you're both in your 80s.
What is it that you feel is so important about getting married? You know being an officer makes you quite the eligible bachelor...
>What role? Chaplain?
Surprisingly dirtier than that.
>>34869149
>>34869149
Well this is....different. How exactly are you related?
You know I've always been of the opinion that if two peoples mutual love is consensual, and not harming other people then what is the business of the outside world to judge?
>>34870877
>Oh you gotta give me more info than that pal, one thing Reverend likes is plenty of back story. So why are you feeling this way? What sort of thoughts do you have? What triggers them?
Well, been this way since I was 13 really. Back then it was because my dad tried to rape and kill me, so when he died two months later, I was happy. Of course people noticed I was happy, and not having a clue/not believing me, they continually told me I was a piece of shit. So after years of feeling like a piece of shit, I finally realized I could just say fuck them, but I still feel like shit.
Doesn't help that I could be married right now to a perfectly fine woman, but instead, I chose to believe that God was real, and since she wasn't a believer, like a dumbass I gave up a qt british chick with a 9/10 ass. Ever since then, I've always fucked up any chance I have with a girl, and the times they show interest in me, it's just to use me. That's the short version anyways, I just feel like an immense fuck-up and my time has been wasted, and it's too late. All my friends are engaged, married, and moved on with their lives, and I'm stuck in this shitty fucking town barely making enough to pay the bills, and I don't really have anyone to talk to.
I guess I just want to feel wanted.
>>34869215
You know, I always think that love is like electricity and travels through the path of least resistance.
Ie if it feels good and there's nothing stopping it, its going to happen. Sometimes being close with a friend and sharing happy and sad experiences with them can lead to feeling and wanting for more.
What you have to do, and this is hard, is establish exactly whether this is a real deep seated love or just a feeling of longing and connection that's just friendship gone too far.
If it is really love, then you need to talk to her, put no pressure on the conversation, just put it out there,tell her you feel like you might explode if you don't get it out there. It's sort of an all or nothing situation.
>>34869233
I'm going to be honest, I'm curious as George to find out why she suddenly bailed with absolutely no reason or contact. It's kind of spooky to me to be honest. Seems like really out of character behaviour.
Obviously all relationship breakups are sad but most of the time you get a reason. You've got nothing, I think the way to get over it to find a way to get some closure. Do you know where she is?
>>34869513
Dude, you were kind of not supposed to say anything about that to her, I did say to keep it light keep it cool, come on now, you're a smart Lad, keep your shit together.
And you tell her something along these lines
"I'm sorry I bought up the other guy, I guess I'm just a little afraid of losing you, I don't mean to sound crazy but I'm feeling guilty for the way I treated you and my heads a little all over the place. I guess I'm just trying really hard to turn it around and undo the hurt I did. It's me and you just us two"
Then you just leave it at that. No more bringing up the other guy. No more being worried about Facebook. You just try to keep it light and fun and full of happiness.
You perservere with that shit, you don't bring any drama you let her see that you want to make a change.
>>34871032
It's been about 6 hours now. Maybe I'll call her tonight and say it. But she usually likes to just move past this stuff.
>>34871004
The childhood stuff is horrific. That is no way to have to live as a young person. I think the worst thing must be never having any kind of closure on that.
How old are you exactly?
And do you have any kind of existing relationship with the British girl whose 9/10 ass I kind of want to see pics of?
You're not a failure. You had a traumatic experience and you're still cracking on and trying to improve. You're not a bad person and there's never a point where its too late to stop the key from turning.
Have you ever sat down and just wrote down a list of goals? Like if money or time were no object. Just the stuff you'd like to achieve in life....
>>34871098
Tomorrow morning then.... Let her sleep on it and get a little you time yourself champ.
How do I learn social skills as an adult
I'm about to turn twenty and I'm almost borderline autistic in my mannerisms
It doesn't really help that I suffer from mental illness
>>34864170
In one of the classic, "how to get girlfriend back" we split multiple times for the last four years, always somewhat briefly, she's somewhat depressed, I personally think she may have bipolar disorder. But we've been apart a Week now. Last week she showed up to my house crying saying shit like she wasn't happy anymore and what not, but also being angry. I got mad and basically just left. I then called her the next day and she was saying she doesn't want to fix anything, the last times were different cause she wanted to fix something, this time she doesn't want anything to be fixed. And how she's been fine and didn't miss me or anything. I texted her something later that night along the lines of "well it really hurts that we ended on such a bad note, I wish you could at least give me the respect to see each other, give each other a hug, and say goodbye" and she replied the next morning that she'd just been busy and was sorry, she too wished to meet up and end on a good note. The next two days I tried to meet up to talk, she said she was busy. I left it alone for a few days and just tried once to talk to her, she's now ignoring me completely. I know I fucked up by contacting her a lot, but I'm not like blowing her up, I just wanted to literally see her, have some final words, and say sorry about storming out, and if possible, work things out. Though that doesn't seem like any kind of option. It's so hard for me to cope with this, as we spent almost every single free hour together for the majority of the last four years. I don't really have problems being social or getting/talking to girls, though I'm not interested. When I hangout with my friends I 100% just get sad that I'm not with her, because I get along with her so much better. It really doesn't help that I'm an ambivert, but leaning towards introversion. I also recently started a really good job, where I'm working a lot of hours, so it now seems like I have nothing to look forward too.
>>34871188
Sorry for being so long. I guess it helps to vent. I'm now making real money, and it seems like that's all I have. I'm not currently interested in meeting anyone else. I'm young if it matters at all. I also for the record and usually a genuinely very happy person. Despite being slightly introverted, I'm pretty social and am well liked, I'm confident, not ugly or anything. as cliche as it sounds, I would really do anything to get her back.
>>34871144
Haha it's only 8. I think she'll respond later... I hope.
I feel invisible to every possible potential girl out there. I have tried bettering myself, I have tried being social, I have tried being assertive and flirty. But nothing has helped.
I won't lie, I'm probably a much better catch than I was before, but I honestly don't know what to do anymore besides literally trying PUA shit on the streets now. I have had zero luck with tinder, social gatherings, parties, and everything else under the sun. I crave the attention I have never received and I've tried making myself as wantable as possible.
Yes, I know I shouldn't live for women, but honestly it's the only thing that still gets me out of bed.
I don't want to live like this, but I can only function for other people. My entire life revolves around other people and it kills me that I can't break it. I just want people to know that I'm alive and friends just don't cut it anymore.
>>34871133
I'm 23 now. I don't have a relationship with her at all because that was four years ago, and she's now engaged to some asian fag. She was hot though. Literally had an ass like pic related. All I can do is beat myself up and call myself a dumbass. One of the only girls that was interested in me, and I fucking let her go because I was scared God didn't want it to happen. As far as goals go, my only goal is to get fit, and get the fuck out of this town. Looks like I can only do one of those things though, and this place is third waver central. Bunch of fat whales telling me I should be attracted to their hairy armpits and shit, plus my mom, who got in the way of every single chance at a relationship I had as a teenager with a girl, now constantly asks me why I'm not married yet.
Jesus christ I want to die.
>>34871144
Anyway, do you think I still have a chance after this? Like, what do I do? After that I realized that if she made a pros and cons list about me it would be all bad. What do I do to change? Like, what are things I could do?
>>34864170
What extracurricular should I participate in and why?
>>34871184
What mental health illness?
Also how badly does it impact on your life? Would you say what what you think about yourself is a fair assessment or that you're being overly critical?
>>34871188
>>34871200
Sorry to hear about that bro, like I've said to a few people here, the worst thing about a breakup is one where you don't get closure. It's sad that she would disrespect that relationship by not at least making sure it ended amicably. You have to question her motives, maybe she's scared of the pain it could cause.
It's good to have some structure and a new job (congrats) that will take some of the pressure off.
I think the best thing to aim for right now is to concentrate on yourself, use the newfound time to do the things you want to do,give her a wide berth for a week or two maybe, let her miss you a little.
If it makes you feel better I think she's in the wrong here. And you seem really together about stuff.
>>34871320
so much photo shop
>>34871408
Thanks for the time and input man.
How do you deal with being obnoxious? I was told that I'm obnoxious / annoying, and I honestly didn't realize I was coming off that way. Lately I've made an attempt at being quiet, but that's only provoked people -- the same people that told me I'm obnoxious -- to ask if I'm all right.
>>34871421
Picture might be shopped, but I talked to british QT live on skype, video chat every night. Trust me, it's the closest example.
>>34871431
You could just tell them, "I'm trying not to be obnoxious."
>>34871243
>my entire life revolves around other people
I think we've discovered the root of the problem brother. You're a good guy and you have the discipline but it sounds like you out too much focus on others rather than on you. Okay so its nice to have a girlfriend, but let's take women out of the equation.
What would YOU like to achieve for YOURSELF?
Women aside what would YOU, the decent human being you are, like to fill YOUR life with?
What are you goals? Want to travel anywhere? Want to do something different?
I guarantee, when you learn to love yourself and fill your life with things for you..... Women will be weak at the knees.
>>34871297
>>34871320
Dat ass.
Why did you think god didn't want it to happen? You know God wants each human being to be happy, how did you interpret it this way?
No one is stuck anywhere friend, the only borders you have are the ones put up by your own head. And possibly by your mother, who sounds a little controlling. Where would you like to live? What sort of house? Can you picture it?
Okay keep that in mind, and just work every. Single. Fucking. Hour. God. Sends.
Scrimp and save, cut corners everywhere. It could take forever but you'll get there in the end. I think it's already pretty obvious your location is the main source of unhappiness, so how can we change that?
>>34871397
Whichever one puts the biggest smile on your face. Try them all first.
>>34871315
But its obviously not going to be all bad is it...you're still kissing and having sex and saying I love you?
I think you really need to to take a deep breath, exercise some discipline, and just take some time away from her, she'll come back I promise. But she definitely won't if you hound her. Relax, Reverend won't steer you wrong.
>>34870877
>Being a sole carer is a daunting and really noble task.
Nah I only take care of him inbetween classes my mom is the main care giver at the moment.
>Love interest
I like to write about alot of retro gaming and have alot of stuff written up and wanting to start a blog. Obviously lifting and nutrition as its something im passionate about since transition into it almost two years ago. After going through my first successful cut in the summer. I began more engage in my nutrition and lifting. I used to do sketch but not anymore..i feel like im not good at it.
>>34871545
>how did you interpret it this way?
Because my mother drilled it into my head that if the girl doesn't believe, it shouldn't happen. Same mom that made me burn all my star wars legos as a kid. I was homeschooled all 12 years, I didn't know better. I'm now of the opinion God is either not real, or a fucking dick.
>>34871545
Thousand blessings to you, Rev.
>>34871554
Still a good thing to do.
That's pretty cool, ever considered finding a local gaming publication and submitting them? Or an online gaming review site?
Sketching aint about if you're good or of you're bad it's about exercising your creativity.
I'm sorry I can't give you a quick fix solution right now, but I think like I said before, dip your toes in the pool of socialising, go at your own pace, don't feel like you have to impress anyone, avoid toxic people, seek gentle and kind people, find a qt who likes you for you not for any image you present.
I'd hang with you bro.
>>34871586
I don't want to get into a massive religious debate but that is in no way how God should be interpreted.
I'm sorry that she did this to you.
Like I said, you're not stuck anywhere. You can always find a way to move from that town and start a new life
I Just took Phenibut(750mg) for the first time an hour ago without eating and having a coffee. Will I feel euphoric in an hour or two?
>>34871773
>I don't want to get into a massive religious debate
Me neither, I feel people should be free to believe whatever.
>>34871773
>I can't give you a quick fix solution
tried those and never worked, honestly I always want more long term stuff.
and not right not its extremely amateur and looking for someone with experience to proof read my stuff and tell where i should go from there.
>>34871808
Absolutely.
But why the fuck should I take you any more seriously if you believe in Vishnu or Yahweh or Allah, than the massive amount of piss I will take out of someone who believes Hogwarts is a real place?
>>34872076
I don't believe in any of those. If there's a higher power, he's either like Kami from DBZ, aka don't give a fuck about anything but keeping balance, or he's not real and there's nothing. I just find it hard to believe that there's an all-loving God that allows child trafficking and shit like that. It's a load of shit.
Hey Reverend,
How do you deal with lack of motivation? My biggest flaw is I'll want something desperately, but I never want to put in the work to actually achieve it. It makes me angry but I can't seem to make myself do anything about it. I feel weak and beat myself up about it.
>>34871032
She moved across the united states. I haven't even seen her since. She wasn't cheating. She claimed she just didnt like her life anymore. She was diagnosed with bipolar disorder and stopped takng her meds a few years back. It was out of the blue. We didn't fight and she blew me the night before. Never seemed to have any doubt. Then boom. Id love to travel across the country and confront her, but I don't want her to file a restraining order and decided to take the hint of her moving across the country as a hint lol. I am not sure closure is something I can ever feel....
>>34864170
> 25 yo
>kissless virgin
>cant get a job anywhere (even retail ,fast food places ,etc)
>third year in uni (of 5)
>no friends (the uni dont have clubs)
>really depressive personality (therapists, psychiatrist and meds dont work)
>Hate myself everyday a bit more
>Dont want to die but neither keep living this way
what do?
>>34870877
>What's your branch?
I'm UOTC. I'm pretty sure there's an American equivalent.
>You realise that the marriage itself is unimportant its the finding someome worthy of your love?
Of course. But marriage is the end goal. The idea of completely devoting yourself to another person really appeals to me. I know an engineer officer who's lived with his girlfriend for over ten years, and that's good enough for them. They have no interest in legal shackles. He did mention it'd be convenient for inheritance purposes, in case he gets shot. I think I just like the idea of cute ceremonies andwedlock.
>What is it that you feel is so important about getting married?
It's not marriage, per se, it's finding someone I can spend the rest of my life with. I hate living by myself. I hate not having anyone else to taste my cooking. I'm sick of cooking for myself - I'll happily eat anything that fills me up, so 99% of my dishes go unmade. I should have enlisted as a chef, they only ever seem to make the same slop, I'd fit right in.
>You know being an officer makes you quite the eligible bachelor...
I haven't commissioned yet. I've booked the course for halfway next year. I'm not interested in the bachelor lifestyle. I'm not zealous, but I do have a lot of faith - I'll happily masturbate at home for hours on end, but the idea of visiting a prostitute or having casual sex repulses me.
>Surprisingly dirtier than that.
Logistics? Logistics who loiters near chaplains?
>>34874544
>I'm pretty sure there's an American equivalent.
I've found it, it's basically ROTC, but with more booze.
>>34864451
She's trying to secure your commitment and attention while putting in minimal effort
Sorry everyone, I had to sleep at some point. Whos still here? Quote your last post and this one so I can see.
>26
>fit
>still living with parents
>yes, they resent me
>older SJW brother who looks down on me
>younger brother is well on his way to becoming an SJW as well
>play ice hockey mostly to distract myself from my own life
>semi complete degree that I don't want
>no motivation to finish it, sitting on it for over a year now
>fucking marxist campuses and SJW drones I'd have to call my "peers"
>still ripped apart over my ex
>lying, cheating cunt who used *mindfuck* to pin all her bullshit on me
>have moved on to other women, but still live in misery over it; can't get attached to anyone
>generally leading a life of mediocrity
Do some magic, magic man.
>>34875080
>>34874554
>>34874544
I'm still here.
>>34875080
>>34875118
I'm still here too.
>>34864170
Not sure if you're still here Rev, but...
I'm 27 and the main problem in my life is that I haven't really lived. I've had a few great accomplishments, but still I find a lot of the time that I sell myself short. For example, I feel as if I don't deserve to have good things in life and it's really hard to break out of my shell...as if there's someone in my head judging every single little thing I do, which causes me to freeze up.
I'm a melancholic type, and I've had people say I think way too much about things...my question is, Rev, how do I break past this?
>>34864216
>mild Christian undertones
>quotes scripture in the OP.
Religion is literally a meme.
>>34871802
>euphoric
<tips fedora>
>>34875118
>terrible at research
>content with a mediocre life
>too lazy or inept to finish degree
>colleagues hate him
>terrible opinions shaped by /pol/
>"Th-they're a-all S-SJWs t-that h-hate f-freedom!!"
Drop out and become an electrician.
>>34875336
>mfw you see meme used properly
My nigga
Wow this has been going on for 22 hours now...
>>34874544
>>34875187
I'm not American. British here.
I think you're sort of answering your own questions here friend. You want to find someone to share your life with and not just something cheap and fleeting. That's a rare thing to find these days but not impossible. You have to remember that really, you are at the beginning of your life at only 20, you still have so much time to find that person. But but you have to remember that when looking for something so specific and meaningful that itll take a little more effort than usual.
>logistics
Front line actually
>>34875118
>>34875200
Hey pal,
Well at least you're not an SJW...gotta be a positive there.
What do you do for work?
Ice hockey is a decent sport, manly and tough and needs discipline. Any good at it? Could you do it for money?
What's the degree?
I suppose the main reason for still being ripped apart by your ex is not having closure. She played with your emotions and mind and cheated on you and made you feel bad, now you're apart you probably feel like she never really accepted her part in the breakdown and its frustrating to know that she might not get her comeuppance. But thats still no reason to judge every woman as harshly. Theyre not all as bad as that....some cam actually be quite pleasant.
>>34864170
Haaah, about to quit fit for real (for the third time) after browsing this shit hole for 2 minutes and I see the LIG threads are back.
>people are reacting well to it
And not dumping porn/shitposting/ignoring the thread altogether?
Holy shit, /fit's come a long way, huh?
>>34875288
Well the first thing to ask really is what is your definition of "lived"?
What are your life goals what would you like to see In this world?
Have you considered some form of medication of counselling for your melancholic way of thinking? If it turns out to be depression this could easily sap your motivation to do more away.
>>34875336
Please enlighten us friend.
>>34875535
Well not everybody can be as perfectly happy and satisfied and amazing and successful as you now can they anon
>>34875288
Read no more nice guy. Just until the part where it explains why some adult males think like that.
It did hit the note perfectly for me. And I have improved.
Also, the book's title might sound edgy, but its very spot on on most things. A surprising read.
>>34875545
Not even going to bother explaining myself. Just re-read my post without all that guard up, friend .
>>34875561
Op is a fag, you can't blame him
>>34875540
>enlighten us
Enlighten you how? None of it is true. What more is there to say?
>>34875545
Oh my God the size of that chip on your shoulder.
>>34875118
Willpower is spent , anon.
How do you avoid spending it or even replenish it?
Find a hobby (as. You have in hockey, but I urge you to find a more fulfilling one) and when it comes to your ex, I think you know the answer: one thing's your ex, another thing's the new relationship. You aren't going to tell me you haven't learned enough from your last ex to be able to tell when you're getting bullshited, right?
And if you are getting bullshited by family and GF, what's the problem? Not enough of a man to tell them what's up, rationally, and that your toes are no one else's to step on?
Fucking do it already, just get off your ass and do something which brings you even if marginally closer to your goals like apologizing to your parents for being a failure and admitting to fucking up. If they can't support you there, then you have shit parents and need to find something else to emotionally invest in.
>sjw colleagues in uni
And? Do you owe them something? Jesus Christ , how long are you going to live your life as a function of other people? WAKE UP, you only live once. Are you trully living -your- life, faggot?
>>34875540
Thanks Rev. "Lived" to me means achieving some of my big goals. I really want to travel and see same places outside the U.S.while I'm still young. I planned big trip through Europe last year but cancelled last minute because of self doubt. Nothing is really stopping me except that. My job is digital so I can work from anywhere and people have told me I'm crazy not to do it and to stop talking about it and make the leap. Beyond that I'm not sure I know what I really "want". I would really like to get married as well and raise a family, but where I am now it seems pretty remote.
Depression does run in my family but I've never been diagnosed myself, but many times I've thought I've had it. Sort of like you live with it for a while that it just becomes normal. I think a lot of what could be called depression is having unreasonably high goals for myself and not meeting them...
Appreciate it.
>>34875547
I'll check it out. I've heard the book tossed around before and the title did put me off a bit, but I'll see what it has to offer on your recommendation.
>>34875601
Always read the content tables , anon!
Hey Rev, I'm in a situation similar to
>>34864293
Only I got into a love triangle of sorts and got back with my girlfriend. She gave me a second chance even in that, I gave her one cause with her I'd feel unappreciated.
My problem is she is a religious girl and while she'll do anything else, sex is off the table and I'm not sure I can handle it.
Is it really that important to a relationship? I feel like there is something wrong with all this and I can't say what, I mean with either girl I would have felt a bit played even if the other one would have had sex with me. Seeing as she's going through some bipolar stuff and how I've gone through a depressive episode through all this, but the last part is unrelated.
>>34870877
>>34869149
Well our grandparents/grandgrand some shit are somehow related. We are not sure but we think its like 5-6th cousin
>>34864170
Reverend , Ive been going to the gym since I was 15-16. I'm 20 now. I fucked around at the start and never made as good as gains as I should. Every 6 or so months I fuck up and fall off the wagon and loose gains and have to restart just short of my goal of 1/2/3/4 plate goals. Still haven't hit them all. Life is always getting in the way, will it get better? Is it cause I'm just starting to be indipendant with me and my gfs own house and having a grown up job?
I don't even know man.
>20
>average looking brown dude, no friends, halfway through an engineering/commerce degree. I feel like i have never acomplished anything meaningful in life. My cousins and old friends are in good uni's and are popular among their peers. I feel like im missing out on my youth and don't know what to do. I'm also on steroids, because i always seek the easy way out.
I want to accomplish something meaningful before i turn 30, travel the world and have many experiences. But I feel like my lack of friends, negativity, incompetence and my skin color holds me back.
I really don't want be another wage slave working 9-5 and waiting till i die. i need to be know and famous. I don't know how.
I also have an final exam in 2 days and have hardly been studying. Fuck my life
>>34875508
I'm British, too.
>You have to remember that really, you are at the beginning of your life at only 20
Yes, but living on your own makes every second feel like an eternity. I'm regularly mistaken for a (good looking) thirty year old.
>it'll take a little more effort than usual.
Putting in more effort than usual is the only way to get anything out of life, right?
>Front line actually
I bet I unwittingly touched a nerve there, so I apologise - one of my colour sergeants said that staff sergeants were called staff because they were from the shitty regiments. If I called him staff, he'd have my head.
One other thing I'm worried about is the fact that the commissioning course has a swimming test, and I can't swim. I can float, and thrash around whimsically in more or less the same space of water, but I can't swim.
>>34875681
Try to socialize more?
The time you aren't socializing, keep a journal close to you that you read through every 3/4 hours every day to keep track of your desires AND solutions to your desires.
Don't waste time on the problems, just focus on the solutions.
>>34875695
Maybe take lessons/ watch youtube videos and improve?
You won't become elite, but you'll get better, which you want, right?
>>34875561
I thought you were making fun of the people in my thread. My apologies
>Meet qt at club
>Don't know her, so I'm confident and eloquent as fuck, making her laugh etc.
>pull her
>Slowly start to get to know her more
>My beta side and anxiety starts to return
>scared it's going to stifle the traits that attracted her in the first place
Every fucking time, what do?
How can I stop caring so much about having a zit or other skin imperfections? Not kidding sometimes I dont leave my house because of this
Hi Reverend.
This has been bothering me for a while now.
>20 y/o
>nice group of friends at home
>small group but I love them
>got hobbies that I couldn't live without
>cooking, guitar, singing, running, I am /fit/ and do open mic nights every now and then
>I love performing in front of people, gives me a great rush
>currently on my year abroad in France
>career prospects looking pretty decent atm
>only thing that brings me down is my failure with women
>failed at tinder, okcupid
>when i ask girls out the feeling is rarely reciprocated
>dislike the idea of getting with girls in clubs
>still meeting new people most weeks
>not socially awkward at all, just shit at 'escalating' with girls
Should I just keep on meeting people and asking girls out until I find one that likes me back ? I am genuinely a happy guy and I love all the stuff I do, but this is just one thing that is missing in my life.
Sorry for the thesis.
>>34865238
Do both you fucktard and then see what works.
>>34875996
Having confidence...
>>34875733
>Maybe take lessons
That costs money, and they offer lessons to people who have never swam or swim poorly.
>watch youtube videos
No.
>but you'll get better, which you want, right?
Well, yeah, but buying swimming kit, taking two-three buses to the nearest pool, only to swim for an hour, and then come back, isn't really worth it.
>>34875996
If it's a whitehead, pop it. If it's any other skin perfection, don't give a shit.
If you do give a shit, wash your face often, and have a towel set aside for drying your face, which you change often.
>>34864426
My entire friend group is like that anon.
Are they nerds or not very social, because mine are.
What they do is when the group hangs out the whole group hangs out usually, but between then only the close friends hang out.
Everyone has a best friend so they hang out together, sometimes 3 of the group will be closer than the others and that will happen.
In my case it's not really exclusion, my best friend is dead so in between the big group hang outs I do nothing.
Pretty stressed from all my work and trying to figure out my future recently, but overall things are going pretty great for me. I just wanted to help remind you all that we're all going to make it. Never give up!
>>34864170
>Be me 16 year old fat fuck 90kg and about 25% bf
>Decide I want to become strong
>Do some bodyweight exercises
>Holy shit this shits amazing
>Lose about 5 kilo's just through bodyweight exercises
>Come across strengthcamp
>Get a gym membership
>Lift and lose like 15 kilo's in a few months
>Skinnyfat.jpg
>Now 17
>Do bulk and SS get to about 82 kg
>Do bro split and cut a bit, lose glasses
>Turn 18
>People complimenting me all the time
>Girls mirin my eyes and my general looks
>get a tutoring job that pays twice the amount my friends earn
>Amazing grades
>Feel like complete shit
>Not strong,cut or big enough
>Am borderline depressed
/fit/ why do I feel so bad? Why do I hate myself when I look in the mirror? Why do I feel like something is crushing my throat slowly when I think about myself?
>>34875651
5th or 6th isn't weird at all.
My brother in law is my 7th cousin, no one cares one bit.
3rd is a little close to me but honestly even that close wouldn't really mess your child up, so if you don't give a shit and she doesn't give a shit, be happy my brother.
>>34879111
Because you have an inferiority complex, you will never be as good as you want.
Don't be so hard on yourself and recognise your achievements.
>>34879203
Their parents got mad when they heard about me. Thats my biggest obstacle.
>>34864170
>28 y/o
>graduated from medical school last year
>started lifting a few months ago
>a kissless virgin to this day
>life consists of working at the surgical ward, hitting the gym, fapping, eating, destroying nubs on battlefield 4 and going to sleep
i feel like my life is going nowhere.
wat do
how to get a gf btw
>>34879245
Thanks that helped a lot. It is hard for me to understand myself and be rational. Thanks for the outside perspective.
>meet girl at school
>start talking with her more and more
>actually start liking her
>she has a bf though
>still keep talking to her because in love
>months passes
>she breaks up and im there for her
>i dont wanna be an asshole to her exbf which is also my friend so i dont make a move
>now she's talking about other guys she likes
>her friends started giving me hints that she might like me
>we talk almost everyday now
>she specifically told me that she wont make the first move even if she likes someone
>can't deal with being just a friend anymore
>afraid i might ruin our relationship but really wanna tell her how i feel
wat do?
>>34879271
Her parent's aren't living either of your lives though.
Neither of you are doing anything wrong.
How would it feel 10 years down the road, when the girl of your dreams is getting married, and all you can think of is "That's not me because two people would have been angry".
Do it man, if you treat her well and they never come around to you (they probably will) then fuck their attitude.
She makes her own decisions, not them, and she obviously picks you.
>>34879349
Tell her how you feel.
>>34864170
So I broke up with my first real gf of 1.5 years about three weeks ago because she studied in a different city and we were both to busy. Felt really bad about it and would be devastated if she would start going out with other guys right away.
Last week, when I told myself that I didn't need a gf and would start enjoying life again, I met this really nice girl living like 5 minutes from my house. And to make matters worse my ex started contacting me again to hang out.
What should I do? I know it's to early to start dating again right away and don't want to hurt my ex, but am afraid I might the opportunity to be with another qt like the girl I just met.
>>34879495
what if she doesnt feel like i do?
>>34879349
>Mentioning other guys to make you jealous
>Her friends tell you she likes you
>Specifically says she won't make the first move *hinthint* ask me out.
Mate what are you doing? Tell her already, geez.
That's me:
>19 y/o
>balding
>low test (small dick that does not work, possibly sterile, 165cm tall)
>kissless virgin
I really hate my parents because they did not care enough to take me to a doctor when there was something that could be done about this, despite my whole family being really tall with long hair.
I went to the doctor by myself when I turned 18 but there is nothing to be done about my height. I'm taking some hormones since then to help with my dick but apparently it is not working.
Any point in living? I will never be close to anyone or have a family.
>>34879602
do you think that telling her by text is okay or should i tell her irl? at least i wont spill my spaghettis by text..
>>34879880
I'd do it irl - it's a quick no-nonsense act, like pulling off a band-aid.
Text:
>wondering why a response is taking a while
>wonder whether you should have worded it differently
>keep looking at the message you sent again and again and over-analysing
IRL:
>'Hey so I like you, do you wanna go out?'
>Get instant response from her
>Something to act on either way whether good or bad
>If yes, bonus points 10/10
>If not, ah well kudos for being a man
Why do I get anxious talking to people especially girls
>>34880010
because you care too much of what they think and becuase you're not self-confident enough
I thought this had been pruned, I'm so proud to see people helping each other out and giving compassionate advice.
Who still here?
Should I set up an email account for future threads?
>>34881754
I'm here Rev, not posted a problem but you're a top bloke.
>>34881754
Yeah please.
>>34881754
Hey there reverand.
>22
>unemployed since highschool apart from the occasional odd job that would last for a month
>Living with mom
>severely mentally ill with no medical treatment available
Been stuck in a near permanent ennui literally as long as I can remember.
>Can't seem to find any goals, or even dream at night.
>Socially awkward except for brief moments where my wires cross correctly and I become a dominant social force just long enough to realize exactly what I'm missing.
>Can never actually speak my mind, half of what I want to say is permanently stuck on the tip of my tongue, turning my brain into a horrific prison
>Neurological disorder makes drugs effect me differently so I can't even go and slowly kill myself with substance abuse
I am deeply unhappy reverand, and always have been
>>34881836
Thanks Nigel. Your common sense attitude towards immigration reform, NHS spending and Forcing big business to pay their taxes was a breath of fresh air.
>>34881849
Okay I'm going to figure out the ins and outs of how I'd do it so look out either in this thread (if it doesn't disappear) or the next one which will be roughly next Tuesday again. Will be the same image.
>>34881935
>>34881935
Hello brother.
May I ask what mental illness you're having problems with? What is preventing proper treatment?
I think from looking at your other dissatisfactions a lot is stemming from your inability to seek the Basic help for your health issues. Mental health should never be taken lightly and it annoys !e that there is never enough support out there to help people in need!
So let's talk through a way to help you seek a way to hit the problem at the root.
>>34882200
Oops forgot my trip.
I just wanted to say to everyone I may not have replied to, reply to this and tag your last post and I'll find it and respond, this thread is living for a long time so keep refreshing, I'm dropping in every spare chance I get.
Tits to get attention
>>34881754
Hi there reverend
So i feel like i should be really happy.
>at med school
>got cute bf (i'm a gril)
...But i'm totally not. whenever i'm not with other people (and sometimes when I am) I just feel really empty and kind of sad for no reason... Any ideas how to feel better?
>>34882220
Hi Sister,
So is there a cycle to this? Ie, does it feel stronger at other times than others? Is there anything that happens to trigger it?
It sounds a little like mild depression or low mood problems. Do you find it hard to be on your own at all?
Keep talking
No libido. Been on a 900-1000 calories/day cut for the past 6 months, save for 2 week visit to grannies a few months ago. Oh god the feels I had after those 2 weeks, it was awful. I partially do not look forward to December when I start bulking life is so easy feeling nothing.
Is libido loss experienced by all cutters?
>>34882284
I'd say its maybe a knock on effect from a loss of energy, are you reducing general calories or targeting certain groups as well like dairy and carbs?
On the plus side in December you're going to be an eating machine with a permanent erection.
>>34882351
Calorie reduction, fat intake took the biggest hit of all, but I guess I should never have to cut like this ever again. Been alienating the girls around me who show interest too because 95% grills look ugly 95% time atm
>>34882417
I'd say hold fire until you come off the cut, wait a month, if it still is a problem check with doctor for a blood test for testosterone etc.
Personally don't think it's anything to worry about, your body is basically reprioritised to be efficiently running on low calories not getting boners every ten seconds.
>>34882200
It's called NLD or a nonverbal learning disorder. The laymans version is that the right hemisphere of my brain doesn't work. I'm missing large amounts of white matter which connect the two hemispheres and basically act as wires for the electricity powering our brains. The disease itself wasn't known about until the year after I was born, and most doctors have never even heard of it. Medicine just hasn't advanced enough yet. Best they can do is give me a prescription for adderall (methanphetamine), but it's a bandaid solution that'll only temporarily fix my dopamine levels.
>>34882481
Well this is quite a bit above my payscale but ive never quit on something yet.
So you say that there are times where things do click into place for you and its all clear? What precedes this? What sort of situation do you have to be in for this to happen? Is there a pattern?
I think you should keep a record of when you do experience these moments so that you can try to replicate the factors that lead to them?
Have you considered alternative therapy? Like using music to help with speech problems.
>>34882797
There are just occasional moments where I seem to be speaking much clearer and feel more focused. It's rare to happen on it's own, but it happens much more often after taking psychedelics.
>>34875651
I had a friend who married his 3rd cousin. There's nothing weird about marrying your cousin as long as they're 3rd or further.
>>34879349
Dude, you can be miserable just being her friend and listening to her talk about the new guy she's fuckin, or you can be miserable when she turns you down.
Just take the risk dude, you'll move on if it goes south.
>>34864170
I'm currently in twelve hour work days. I get 8 and a half hours of sleep and I wake up tired.It's so much stress but I have to do it.
I just need a long break that I'm never going to get, infact I should be working right now but my mind has checked out.
>>34883061
Have you considered some form of speech therapy? It's not exactly going to hit the nail on the head, more like throwing a hammer at the nail from ten feet away but its in the same ballpark.
I would venture that you can use a speech technique of listening to music in one ear and reading from a book aloud to the beat of the music.
What I'm saying is, it might be worth figuring a technique of allowing you to slow your mind down and pace yourself when you want to talk or express yourself. I think thatd take away a lot of the frustration you feel.
>>34883133
>>34883133
Why do you HAVE to? And what is the job where the working hours are long? Do you have enough breaks?
8 and a half hours is pretty good. But agreed. Working so relentlessly with no break isn't really any good without some fun to balance it out.
>>34879558
Then you won't be good friends anymore. At least not for a while. Are YOU happy with being JUST friends? It sure doesn't sound like it.
>>34879540
Don't hang out with your ex. She's trying to pussywhip you and get you to be the bitch. You're better than that man!
Follow my life motto: Masturbate and re-evaluate. Don't be texting girls with jizz all pent up in your balls. Get the demons out so you can think rationally.
Yo Rev, it's the guy trying to rekindle shit.
Last night I called her and told her everything that bothers me. But I also told her what you told me to. Well, a version of it. She seemed happy to hear that I decided to trust her and everything. We spent the rest of the night talking until she fell asleep. I told her just now because she seemed like she had a bad attitude, and because my friend's relationship just went through some shit that she's the most attractive person in the world to me and I love her. Is that too much?
>>34864365
Dont make decisions based on what is more "secure", you are going to wall yourself into a safe lifestyle which will however be unfulfilling and then 20 years later regret wasting your youthful energy being scared. Do what you really wanna do and do it so good that it will keep you fed and happy.
Also, consider what this guy said
>>34865353
>>34875651
You're distant enough that it doesn't matter. Get married, be happy, friend.
>>34872995
>>34884692
Hey friend,
Soooooo first up let's address the two biggest problems here,
Why can't you get a job?
And why don't meds or therapy work for you?
It's good that you haven't hit suicidal levels and that you WANT to make a change, so let's talk through what we can do to bring that mood back up.
Let's start by finding you some good hard work, work is good for the soul. Gives you independence, makes you tired and keeps you feeling useful. What can you see yourself doing?
>>34875651
You know Johhny Knoxville? Hes got inbreeding in his family and hes a millionaire so yknow...
But yeah like >>34887085 said. If its grandparents theres enough genetic diversity there to cancel out any mutant offspring and honestly, it makes no difference anyway. You love each other, you're not hurting anyone. March straight to her parents and tell them to fuck right off.
(Also if you're from a small town its more than likely that her parents are from the same genetic gene pool themselves so they can shut up)
>>34884392
Son you are not a quitter are you? You're going to go far in life I can tell.
I don't think it's too much but don't push things if she's not being responsive. Ie dont do this:
"You're hot and I love you"
"Awwwww thanks...."
"Well dont you have anything else to say"
Just consider what I said about being relaxed. You two spending the night together and just talking sounds like a nice chilled out thing, keep doing stuff like that. Be chilled, let her come to you.
>>34864170
I've been a devout catholic all my life (28) but last few years I've been contemplating converting to Islam.
What do?
>>34887670
>>34887670
Well what are the benefits? What led you to this choice?
>>34887730
Islam just seems to fit better to my (/fit/) lifestyle. But its hard leaving catholicism behind.
>>34887758
Religion is more to do with your spirituality than your body. If you're referring to cutting of alcohol and dietary restrictions you can do that anyway.
What I mean is, if you truly believe Allah is the one god above you and the only one at that, then go for it. But if its just for access to another life style or social circle than the purpose of the conversion is hollow.
I'll admit that I don't know enough about Islam to comment but I'd say Islam and Catholicism are quite parallel in terms of how conservative they are.
>What I mean is, if you truly believe Allah is the one god above you and the only one at that, then go for it.
I already believe that, since the catholic God is the same as Allah. Difference is the way to revere Him
>>34864170
Is principles 101 from manhood a good book? Iv read it and its about not being a kek, any experience with this?
Also; any recommendations for books to read?
>>34887660
How do I make her want to talk to me? I'm the one who has to initiate all the conversation, and when I do, she doesn't seem interested in talking at all. It's starting to get to me.
Classic story: love this girl which be friends with for years. Gets a boyfriend. I pussyd out when i wanted to ask her. Now they are in relationship for nearly 3 years. Losing myself for the waiting. Since I know she is the one.
Any advice?
>>34887984
I can't really speak for that book I've never read it. Be careful of listening to these meme-tier "Art of Manliness" pieces of trash you see on Reddit and Facebook though.
I rarely get angry at anything but this stuff is utter garbage and usually written by bitter angry misogynists who think that growing a beard is the absolute peak of being a man.
Ask yourself what kind of man you want to be? What kind of man you don't want to be?
As for good reads I'd have to say
>All quiet on the western front
>The Yellow Birds
>Starship Troopers
>City of Thieves
>Child 44
>High Fidelity
>Silver Linings Playbook (I know I know the film is godawful but the book is quite charming
>The Circle
>The Commitments
>Picnic at hanging rock
>Lolita
Also invest in a few decent cookbooks, a first aid manual and a Bible.
People seem to forget the Bible is a historic document written by scholars over thousands of years and isn't all about praising God. It's full of advice on money and relationships and everything else that is still relevant today, even if you don't believe in it.
>>34888288
>Starship Troopers
I fucking love this book for some reason, despite not having many actions scenes. I think I reread it at least once a year.
I'm applying for officer training after christmas and I'm sure some of the ideas Heinlein puts across have settled in my subconcious.
>>34888288
>being a man
>not reading Blood Meridian
>>34888473
Nice taste f am
https://youtu.be/TIQynsWpBpQ
>>34888473
I have it in list, based McCarthy
Just a helpful trick for this thread i learned a while ago.
If you're the kind of person who have trouble making decisions, never knowing which way to go then ask yourself.
pretend you are helping someone with the same problem and you'll find yourself giving logical advise. it's easy to the get stuck in your own emotions so take a step back.
Open question to anyone browsing ITT: how to get a girlfriend?
In fact I'd rather have a fwb to be honest, any ideas lads?
>>34888442
Agreed.
I won't be surprised if your recommended reading for OCS includes Starship Troopers.
He actually puts forward an attractive idea for a society governed only by those who have proven themselves willing to actually out the good of society before their own well-being.
I think my favourite quote is:
"Our behavior is different. How often have you seen a headline like this?--TWO DIE ATTEMPTING RESCUE OF DROWNING CHILD. If a man gets lost in the mountains, hundreds will search and often two or three searchers are killed. But the next time somebody gets lost just as many volunteers turn out.
Poor arithmetic, but very human. It runs through all our folklore, all human religions, all our literature--a racial conviction that when one human needs rescue, others should not count the price.”
>>34888473
You fucker, you're damn right it should be on there. So you not find McCarthy to be hideously bleak though? It took me a long time to read The Road on account of how bleak it really was.
Actually need to add to the list now
>forever war
>the terror
>master and commander
>fight club
>American psycho
>>34888582
This man knows the score
>>34887616
No experience in anything ,no contacts.
Sent a lot of CVs (personally and in internet) with no luck.
The cv its good enough
Tried therapy and just dont work (did everything what they told me)
isn't this supposed to go to /adv/, i mean theres nothing wrong doing it here, you could also help those poor souls unless you're already doing that, if that's the case yuou're truly a real human bean
What's up guys
>>34888807
Upload a screenshot of your CV and other anons in the thread will rate it. I'm an employer myself so I can tell you straight away what I'd like and dislike.
Sometimes CVs don't cut it, sometimes you just got to go and find the boss and say something "I'm a hard worker, I'm hungry for money, I'd never let you down because I need it, let me work a day/week for free and prove to you how good I am"
Therapy is just one link In the chain that strangles mental illness. It also has to be right for how you feel. What did they tell you to do?
Apologies for questions and not many answers need to build up a good picture of you first.
>>34888871
I've never really been to /adv/ isn't it just a whole board full of threads like this? I could create a regular one there too I suppose. It's a bit of a struggle doing it here as well, this has been going for over 48 hours now.
I guess I'm biased to help out /fit/izens first as this is my first choice in board.
>>34888878
Yo
