/fit/ humor thread
>>34834774
Anybody have a link to this thread archived? I'd love to read it.
>>34834811
lrn2usethearchives
https://desustorage.org/fit/thread/34437245/
>>34834841
Nice thanks bruh
>>34834919
Why did you just post the same thing as OP?
>>34834919
This is like 3x better then this
>>34834774
tbhh famm
>>34835008
>retard
>>34835094
What? Because the text is blurrier?
>being this autistic
Can someone please post that "gamer guy" daily schedule pic. It was like a pic in a magazine. Includes eating nothing but milky way bars, screaming, and bees.
I need it. For reasons.
>>34835151
>>34835164
Based anon thanks.
>>34835164
wat
>>34835164
>2015
>not activating your Milkybars
>>34835164
>so many spiders
>>34835551
>>34835592
>I don't fuck before the first date
lost it
>>34835607
I was expecting a fat joke
>>34835164
Sausage and Milky bars addiction
>>34835719
perfect
>>34835583
This made my chuckle rather pleasantly, I hope these two went further than just memeing at each other.
>>34835164
>just screaming
every fucking time
>>34835706
I really fucking hope this isn't real. This shit is depressing.
>>34835706
This needs to be fake for my sanity. That is a fucking cringefest.
>>34835164
>just screaming
>??am so many spiders
I am crying thank you so much
>>34835570
>>34835583
>>34835592
>>34835607
>>34835629
>>34835635
>>34835719
This is not /fit/ humor faggots -.-
>>34835913
then post some
>>34835987
kek
>>34835592
>I want to blow your father
>is still ok with it
my fucking sides man
>>34836016
(you realise that most of them are just playing along, right?)
>>34836040
I know, but thats a pretty crazy thing for her to still be playing along with, thats all.
>>34835706
kek
>>34836047
yeah, she's a keeper
Anyone have the "the rear suspension snaps immediately" kidnapping fantasy one?
>>34835706
Hahaha omfg this can't be real
How pathetic.
>>34835913
Go fucking kill yourself faggot
FRESH OC
>>34835706
omfg no
>>34835719
>I eat meat :)
why did you not realise that?
>>34834774
old copypasta
>>34835706
Thank god ive been looking for this for so long
>>34835330
that's cringy... And I don't mean the pic, I mean the retarded comment.
>>34835987
i dont get it can someone explain me?
>>34835706
>You've lost god out of your life
Mein sides
>>34835706
>>34835706
>>>34835878 >>34835894 >>34836081 >>34836127 >>34836182 >>34836307 >>34836411
tl;dr version pls? not sure if I wanna invest my time reading this
>>34836482
You do, it's old and a fantastic story of betaness
>>34835592
i think i'm not doing that bad because I don't get amazed open-mouthed stares from people while their heads track my movement like a turret, and people don't nudge each other while pointing at me and snickering anymore
i'm just getting used to not being the freakshow attraction whenever i leave my house and i feel like that's positive progress
and then i learn that people are so much farther, having people actually sexually attracted to them and wanting to be in bed with them and telling them that and this is normal for some people
jesus i'm not the hateful bitter type or anything but i see my little progress and see how the status quo for everyone else is so far above mine and i just feel like there's no point in going on
nobody is ever this happy to see me
the only one consistently happy to see me was my dog and he was killed a few months ago
i kind of feel like crying but there's no point because i know nobody's going to come up to me and hug me and tell me it'll be okay
fuck
>>34836482
Ok I'll bite.
This super beta guy gets visited by jehova's witnesses, and one of the two is a hot girl. He fucking hardcore converts to JW (despite being an atheist) and basically follows this chick around, but she falls for an alpha atheist and leaves the church.
>>34836637
thank you, I was geniunely asking
I've read it before I guess, so much autism..
k thanks again, gtg
>>34836599
Dude, come on now. Being lonely sucks, but you just focus on improving yourself and doing what makes you happy. You're on /fit/, so you're hopefully improving your body. You can also focus on improving your career skills, and any hobbies you have (not video games).
If you're not very social, force yourself to go out and do something social, and try your best to enjoy it. If you have any hobbies you can join a club or a group for, all the better. Shit, you can even do crossfit if you've got the money, it may be kind of dumb, but you'll surely meet people.
By the way, most people don't really care that much about looks. It helps, but unless you're like ridiculously handsome, it doesn't make much difference, so don't worry too much about it.
Someone post the thread of the /fit/izen who lost his girlfriend to a mod on FJ. Shit was funny
>>34836599
Don't worry bud, we're all gonna make it. Sorry about your dog-bro, but I'm sure he's rooting for you too in doggy Valhalla or whatever.
And stop posting your feelings on the Phillipino recipe swapping dark web, faggot. And good luck
>>34836682
can being a subreddit mod and a *chan janitor get me chicks? fuark
(inb4 b& for impersonating janitor again; im talking about other chans)
>>34835592
This just makes me more sad than have a laugh cause no matter how hard i lift i will never get this.
>>34836742
build your confidence muscle
>>34836755
Where in my routine should i put it? After incline bench?
>>34836755
You mean your penis?
>>34835719
why does this make me laugh?
>>34836405
The original? I think
>>34836153
10/10 shit was hilarious
>>34834774
>>34834811
>>34834841
I was in this thread, shit was the funniest post we've had here in months
>>34835164
>So many spiders
My sides every time
>>34835551
http://www.ios7text.com/
Wow so real
>>34836599
Come on bro. Don't give up just like that. Keep going and you'll know that feel one day soon. You can do it man. Your dog is watching over you and willing you forwards. We're all gonna make it.
>>34836742
You will one day bro. Just don't give up. Not yet. You can make it. We all can.
>>34836153
Fuck man, I want to live a life like that. How do I get paranormal friends and fight ghosts and shit
>>34836599
>and telling them
this only happens on Tindr, the fair of narcissism. Face to face, there's extremely low probability it'd happen.
Don't look at others and follow your way, results will arrive.
Don't focus on the target, focus on the action. If you give up now you're gonna feel like an idiot in few years.
>>34836988
Dubs confirms the delusion
>>34836988
In the actual painting the chicks are slimmer though. Its "the rape of ------- daughters" I'm pretty sure, I can't remember the exact name
>>34835706
Wow...
God that is so pathetic. I swear I became more beta just by reading it
>>34838429
Rubens was into """""""""""""""""""""""high test"""""""""""""""""""""""' women. Fatties like to pretend it was somehow an era where they were adored. But no, it was just Rubens.
>>34838485
To each their own, but those women are not as fat as the fatty in tumblr
>>34838485
Look at that broad ribcage, the separation of glute and hamstring, the separation of bicep and tricep, and jumbo drumstick calf on the top woman.
See the delts, thick forearms, and criminally insane posterior chain on the bottom woman.
These women aren't fat, they're fuarkin joocy m8. Fuck, even the baby is jacked.
I heard that male models were used in place of female models (artists were all weird homos or something) and they just slapped on some tits, so that could be the reason for these hyper-masculine bodies.
>>34838586
He probably used men or himself as models because of reasons. You see this a lot in Renaissance art but I can't recall why. Something to do with the Greek idea of women being deformed men.
>>34836153
There will be a day when the courage of men fails.
But that day was not that day.
>>34835592
The real joke is hes actually a 6 with a big head Hitting on fat/ugly chicks.
Source:am gay man
Dont lose hope robots
>>34836264
>>34836271
>not posting the real funnies
>>34838829
holy fuck that is good
>i repeat: pain must hurt
>100kg
>not even parallel
>knee wraps
>belt
>pussypad
>>34839054
jesus, even with the wraps his knees look like they're about to explode
>>34836153
One of the best stories I have ever read.
Ghost puncher is my new idol.
>>34839054
why do people always assume squat pictures are taken at the bottom position?
>>34835607
Incorrect, if you assume the universe is infinite there are infinite planets since the question is not just about the solar system
>tips fedora
>turns 360°
>moonwalks away
>>34835164
i dont get it, who is that faggot?
>>34839372
The universe isn't infinite though, you fag.
>>34839023
ayy 704 lmao
>>34835629
coal burning whore
>>34835592
>extremely good looking
>that nose
>those ears
ayyyy
>>34838753
Hi 9gag.
>>34835987
>>34838485
I got tought they painted people sometimes fatter than they really were. because in that time you had to be rich to be fat. (and have really fair skin)
learned this really long ago so I might be wrong.
>>34835570
My fucking sides
>>34835719
This is just cringeworthy
>>34835551
I doubt this really happened. Girls are quick to see through bullshit.
>>34839973
He also looks like your generic white fratboy.
>>34839787
>because in that time you had to be rich to be fat
This is correct but there's 2 things that you never get told about:
The average person back than was underweight or starving, only barely scraping by, so not being a scrawny near starving niggerslave was a sign of status
And being "fat" in those times meant being well nutrioned and maybe being slightly overweight (talking 2-3 points on bmi above 25).
Real obesity was pretty much non existant, except for a handful of nobles, that were pretty much hated among their own kind, for their gluttony.
Remember this was a time where most people were religious and being a perverse glutton was seen as sinful.
Also Rubens had a fet fetish. All these whales always go on about "dont fetishize me, I'm beautiful and fat and not beautiful because I'm fat" but then go on hailing one of the first recorded fat fetishists as their hero and saviour.
>>34834774
have my all time favorite gem that ive found on fit
>>34840215
current wallpaper
>>34836264
/fit/izens, but at least 39 of them would die.
>>34836988
>>34838429
>>34838485
The Rape of the Daughters of Leucippus is the original.
By the way, even Reubens, the notorious chubby chaser, painted a painting called Fall of the Damned, showing sinners falling to hell. Here's a detail. Guess what their sin is.
So once again, fat people ignore all context to try and fatwash history.
>>34839652
Nice to see that Iggy Azalea found love.
>>34835592
Why are women such whores?
>>34835583
I hope they got married.
>>34837215
Some guy literally posted the same gymguard comment in a thread like two days earlier dude
>>34835913
>>34839652
Chromozoned
>>34840414
because guys don't go on tinder just to fuck
>>34835570
holy fuck.
>>34835607
Awesome
>>34834774
Here is a classic!
>>34840662
Underrated post. I kek'd.
>>34836599
KEEP GOING!!!!
>>34839876
should drink protein shake after.
>>34835592
>i want to blow your father
>"i could talk to him if you want"
>>34835706
Wow... this is so fucking sad...
>>34835719
hahaha lost it at the end
>>34837517
>Tinder message generator
>>34839054
BUZAU
U
Z
A
U
>>34835570
Every single fucking time mane
>>34835592
Jellymad/10
>>34839573
>that 2nd last block
wow, actually hit me in the feels
can we truly ever make it if we always return to a board of autists and sperglords?
>>34835164
>>34841029
un classique
>>34835583
thats actually cute as fuck
>>34835706
no... way... if true it would be cool with an update..
a-a-anon, are you h-h-here?
>>34841029
hahah i was in that thread back then
>>34838829
God damn that shit is funny.
>>34835706
losing the girl to an alpha male is the normal outcome of when you go out of your way to get her, but this guy took it to a whole new level. I'm dazzled by all this betaness
>>34835583
This is qt as fark
>>34836599
You got this bro.
You're gonna a get a 9/10 qt3.14 and pop out a dozen babies.
You're gonna own a whole pack of dogs, but htey'll never measure up to bro-dog.
You're gonna have a good life bro.
>>34840411
Kek
>>34835164
>mfw I just got Special K.
Fuck that shit.
>>34835330
>I can't believe it's not butter
>>34835570
>>34839611
>>34835706
Fuck, this guy has issues. You don't just pretend to be a part of a faith community for a whole fucking year just to try to get a girl.
>>34835570
Man she legit can't handle the bantz. How is that an asshole thing to say?
>>34836153
10/10 fucking lost my shit.
>>34841366
me too but i didn't stay around for long, didn't expect it to get this ebin
>>34835330
>Dangerously Irish
>>34835969
the tatoos on his shirt too funny
>>34835706
Btw, this is obviously fake.
Jehova's Witnesses aren't the type who would hug their daughter if she rejected their faith. They basically ostracise them, never talk to them, cut them off financially - and this is all expected of the parents, who absolutely HAVE to do this, otherwise they themselves would be thrown out by the community.
So yeah, you can all chill, this story is purely fictional, but i still think that about half of /fit/ is autistic enough that they could actually do some shit like this, or about this caliber.
ONE OF MY FAVORITE POSTS TB H FA M
>>34839652
>>34840493
So anyways...
>>34840662
8/10, gentleman
>>34839589
lost
>>34839876
topkek
Anyone have the greentext story about a dude that did some kind of drugs or something and ended up doing super squats making a crater of the gym?
>>34838829
toppest of keks
>>34835148
it's about filename...
oh god fucking summer
>>34842591
Wow someone made a picture out of that green text story that is so fucking awesome
I think that the original green text story should be with it though
>>34841029
MOTHER OF GOD I USUALLY NEVER LOSE BUT WHEN I DO I KEK
>>34835570
holy kek
>>34842673
>British journalism
>>34835706
Obviously not real but nice read i guess... im sure there are people who are actually this beta tho
>>34834774
Requesting greentext of the /fit/ parody of the wow wod trailer
>>34835583
aw <3
>>34835560
Oh got me....just picturing her face slowly change as she read those messages...
>>34835706
The day i start to feel for a grill is the day i will jab a needle of test+tren into my ass.
I will not let this beta shit happen to me. Dead fucking serious. Will just drown the feels in compounds and train my ass off
>>34842842
>Playing wow after wrath
brutal mistake psh
>>34835702
audible kek
>>34842673
What the fuck. is this even real?
>>34842895
>Playing WoW after BC
Woe is you.
>>34834774
>>34839652
what a fucking beta faggot who would kiss that
>>34836153
>says he would buy a snake just to flatten it out with a rolling pin until it dies
oh god lol
>>34835969
Kinda makes me sad this one. Like this couplecare obviously happy and enjoying themselves, dressing up together to go to a party and thinking the other one looks real handsome/cute. Why be a cunt about it.
>>34839652
fuck off /pol/
>>34837517
>http://www.ios7text.com/
>They're using TInder, not text messaging
>Being this dumb in 2015
>>34835913
> -.-
Get the fuck out
>>34836153
>you will never punch a ghost
>>34835987
Nothing wrong with 'mirin'
>>34843157
two man can cuddle, there's nothing wrong with that
animals can share heat together
what's so difficult to understand in it??
overly effeminate men's shoes are pretty weird cause there's no reason for them to be like that, unless it's a flag that says 'I like buttsex' to other man
simple
'hurr durr /fit/ is gay; no homo *laughter*'
>>34835583
massive cringe
>>34838829
The manlets band together to form a normal sized human. Everytime
>>34838586
In those times there was a stigma to using female models because you weren't allowed to see naked women modelling as it was impure
For this reason many of the women sculptures and paintings of the time are very masculine
Basically>>34838660
>>34836373
I wrote that fagget
fite me iRL
Really old and rarely posted
>mfw hoarding rare caps like rare pepes
>>34840662
Fuckkkk, 10/10
>>34844017
this can't be real
>>34834774
I'm that second reply. I feel like I've made it.
>>34844017
Not even Italy can produce that much spaghetti so I'm calling bullshit.
>>34840662
kek'd heartily
>>34842895
>tfw im 10/13 on Heroic Hellfire Citadel currently.
It's a lonely type of feel.
Hit 1800 rating in RBG's tho so thats cool
>>34836153
the part with the snake fucked up my sides for good. 11/10
>>34835551
That's my university. To be fair there are some very slutty, kinky girls there.
>>34835570
I dont get it. Someone explain pls?
>>34836153
the detail . legit
>>34844510
no
>>34840785
Is there any logical reason why you would fucking say that post is underrated? Has anybody expressed any kind of dissatisfaction or criticism at all against it? Are you delusional? Are you reading replies that are nonexistant? Maybe you come from communities with voting systems, but there is literally no way that you could know what other people think of that post you just replied to here. Maybe it's psychological. Maybe it's your own post you're replying to, like a 12 year old fucktard liking his own facebook posts thinking his swelling autism is going unnoticed. Maybe your self esteem depends on you tricking yourself into thinking someone out there thinks your post is worth something. Or maybe you are just a retard, the worst kind of retard, the one who thinks he's smart, the one who thinks he's the only one to have gotten the joke, to have understood the post. Well, guess what, faggot, that post is under no definition underrated so why don't you do the world a favor and go check out what the bottom of your toilet smells like?
>>34844573
Allow me to play doubles advocate here for a moment. For all intensive purposes I think you are wrong. In an age where false morals are a diamond dozen, true virtues are a blessing in the skies. We often put our false morality on a petal stool like a bunch of pre-Madonnas, but you all seem to be taking something very valuable for granite. So I ask of you to mustard up all the strength you can because it is a doggy dog world out there. Although there is some merit to what you are saying it seems like you have a huge ship on your shoulder. In your argument you seem to throw everything in but the kids Nsync, and even though you are having a feel day with this I am here to bring you back into reality. I have a sick sense when it comes to these types of things. It is almost spooky, because I cannot turn a blonde eye to these glaring flaws in your rhetoric. I have zero taller ants when it comes to people spouting out hate in the name of moral righteousness. You just need to remember what comes around is all around, and when supply and command fails you will be the first to go.
Make my words, when you get down to brass stacks it doesn't take rocket appliances to get two birds stoned at once. It's clear who makes the pants in this relationship, and sometimes you just have to swallow your prize and accept the facts. You might have to come to this conclusion through denial and error but I swear on my mother's mating name that when you put the petal to the medal you will pass with flying carpets like it�s a peach of cake.
>>34836153
This is the best thing I have seen in a long time
>>34842591
Awesome m8
>>34844327
5/13 mythic, where do you play
>>34845004
Designated shitting gyms
>>34844583
sauce for webm?
>>34845004
>2015
>not doing sudowoodo curls
pick one
BASED
A
S
E
D
>>34845012
kek'd at the filename
>>34836153
9/11
Would read again.
>>34839023
>>34839628
Ayyy 704 here. I want to find out who this is
>>34836599
Where do you live? Gotta be a /fitbro/ nearby. I'll for sure come if you're anywhere near me be a pleasure
>>34835706
Damn man....this is fucking sad.
>>34836988
>>34836153
bloody epic, its been a long time since i read something this good on /fit/
>>34835706
Hope this isn't real, but if so, you got everything that you deserved.
>pretending to be a Christian/JW/anything for women
>2015
Get rekt.
>>34836599
id hug you man
if youre ever in chicago you have a beer on me
>>34836599
I know exactly how you feel anon. I've watched all my friends get girls, get married, and I've yet to even be on a date, [spoiler]which is probably mostly my fault because most of the people here piss me off.[/spoiler]
You know what I do to feel better? I just say fuck em. It's not about them, it's about you, and you've progressed this far, which means you're a badass motherfucker, and only you can stop yourself at this point. Don't aim for the girl, or the social status. Aim to be the best you can be, and don't give a fuck about the rest, because you're a badass motherfucker you faggot.
>>34838829
He finally left humanity behind :,)
>>34836988
Yep, that's the original. I still haven't figured out whether the artist just picked an "old painting with fat women" at random and happened upon a particularly awful choice, or if the girl is actually supposed to be nostalgic about a time when fat girls were prime targets for rape (which is what the painting depicts).
It's a fuckup of a comic in either case, and not exactly to fat apologists' credit when they repost it.
>>34840662
>>34835719
my actual face at the ending
>>34840411
Oh dear ^_^
>>34835706
This made me feel physically ill.
>>34845004
This explains a lot about the Indian physique.
>>34844055
>>34844188
Of course it's fake you cunts.
>>34840360
>fatwash
Noice.
>>34846833
spotted the newfag
