>Be senior in HS
>Very shy and introverted around people I don't know. No self-esteem
>Lose weight, start dressing well
>Get stares and smiles from girls AT LEAST once a day, usually more
>Every once in a while I will even overhear a girl calling me hot
>Still shy introverted faggot
>Cannot go up to girls that I know are interested in me because absolutely no confidence
>Haven't had a conversation lasting longer than 10 minutes with a female my age since 6th grade
I know some of you have been here. What the fuck do I do? I feel even worse than I did when I was fat and didn't get any attention.
Have some friends who can hype you up. Hopefully they're not like my friends who do every goddamn thing they can to get in my way when trying to hit on a girl.
Alcohol helps too but I guess that's not as much of an option as a high schooler.
Honestly it is all in your head man. If you think to yourself what's the worst that can happen? She says she's not interested, big fucking deal. You won't die. Try to start up a conversation with a girl who is in your class maybe, have a subject to talk about
Read models by mark manson
My recent "pickup" line is
"Hey, I'm anon"
Entire books are written on this. Nothing here is going to help you. Use the fucking internet. Do some research. There's no quick fix.
>>31939454
Listen. Picture the girls with the MOST AWFUL TITS you can imagine. I'm talking HAIRY SAGGY WRINKLED, all fucked up titties.
So you see hot girl in cafeteria. Imagine she's shirtless, with these nasty wrinkled and stained shitty ass tits.
It will be much easier to talk to her, just don't drop the fantasy or you may be shocked back to introvert-ville.
Also, I'm a serious fucking introvert, but if you pretend to be extroverted, it actually kind of works. I can pretty much run 60/40 Ex/In and be passable.
>>31939454
Consider cognitive behavioral therapy, anon.
>>31939508
Seriously, listen to this anon OP, alcohol makes you instantly forget about your social anxiety.
>>31939588
I can see that working within your social circle or in small house parties, but otherwise that's pretty lame and not very effective.
>>31939613
That's a very unhealthy mindset.
>>31939597
>There's no quick fix.
what d'you mean ?
>>31939651
Well then you're looking at talking to women the wrong way
>>31939639
>Drinking alcohol
>Not drinking water and pretending it is vodka
>Ruining your diet with alcohol
Try some coke or speed, 0 calories and makes you 10x more social than alcohol ever will and you will have 10x the energy. Yes I am serious alcohol is nothing but fat gains and it makes you hungry.
>>31939549
>>31939671
Also, how do you transform yourself in a wonderful and charismatic extrovert when you're an introvert.
>>31939671
I mean there's no quick fix.
>>31939613
>>31939613
>Also, I'm a serious fucking introvert, but if you pretend to be extroverted, it actually kind of works. I can pretty much run 60/40 Ex/In and be passable.
this x10. just fake it and eventually it just happens
I used to have social anxiety (I'm still an awkward fuck but I'm not unconfident anymore) and honestly if you look good already you're halfway there.
The hardest thing to me was to get out of the mindset that I'm worthless. It took me a while to realise that, say, if someone didn't like me or I was rejected by a girl, that that didn't mean I was a shitty person or whatever. Realise not everything works out but, even if you fuck up, it needn't be a blow to your confidence. If you fuck up socially try and improve yourself in the future. The more you act confident, friendly and all that (even if you don't believe it) the more things will work out for you, the more cause you'll have to be confident.
tl;dr fake it til you make it
I feel like shit because I've been lifting for nine months but I haven't made nearly enough progress so it's all been for nothing. It's cliche but I wanted a nice summer body by now and I don't have it.
nigga at least you look good. Imagine being introverted, unattractive and no confidence. That's my daily life.
>>31939508
I don't have these kinds of friends. I have one semi-cool friend, but he's definitely not the type to help me hit on girls. My friends are nerds and now that I have become more socially aware I have started to isolate myself from my friends whenever we can be seen publicly like hallways or the cafeteria in hopes of not being marked off as a nerd. It has only just strained my friendships though.
>>31939549
I wish it was that easy. I have been shy my whole life. Thinking that way hasn't gotten me anywhere.
>>31939691
You talk to people. Force yourself faggot, this is what people refer to as going outside your comfort zone.
Alcohol fixed my social anxiety.
Go out get fucking shitfaced, become a social badass for that night and eventually that drunk socialness will start encroaching on sober you too.
>>31939758
Or you'll still fail and just turn into an alcoholic like I did.
>>31939741
tl;dr give me attention
It's not hard but clearly you aren't ITT for self improvement.
>>31939689
I take Adderall on the regular and even that isn't enough to get my confidence to the level it needs to be. There are some days, like a couple of days ago, where I felt great and could've talked to any girl. But days like that are very rare.
>>31939727
I feel you, bro. :(
>>31939675
I doubt it. It's all about context. There's no one-size-fits-all "line." "Hey, I'm Anon" might do just fine in some scenarios, but it's a poor and ineffective way to approach girls in many others, like at a high-energy club with a girl who is with her friends and has a 5-second attention span.
>>31939810
If you take it daily... there is your problem. You have to give your brain time to replenish and not use amps daily or you will get addicted and they wont be enjoyable or even make you social, they will make you awake, then eventually, they wont even do that.
>>31939454
I had exactly the same problem.
Still in the same situation I've just learned to not care about not having any real friends or being lonely, honestly I prefer being by myself.
>>31939859
>talking to women in a club
wot
>>31939859
I'd recommend reading the book I recommended. Thinking on terms of a PUA is cancer. Women are human beans just like me and you.
>poor and ineffective
Am I fixing a car engine or trying to have a conversation with someone?
>>31939743
Ok, i talk to people, spill a lot of spaghetti and then what ? How do I become more interesting, charismatic ?
>>31939908
How did Models influence you ?
>>31939910
Read how to win friends and influence people. Realize that the best conversationalists make the other person talk about themselves.
How did Models influence you ?
>>31939920
Long term self improvement versus temporary artificial game.
>>31939454
You're surrounded by more girls now than you ever will be later in life. Unless college has more, I'm not American but I know there's lots of girls there as well.
What I'm saying is you gotta get your shit together, you're only gonna get less and less chances to get experience with girls. You're SURROUNDED by them. EVERY DAY. Do something and don't turn out like me, a 22 year old KV who hasn't had any physical contact with a girl in years.
You don't want this. You can still make it.
>>31939454
What's true with most things in life is practice and desensitization.
#1 is obvious. Conversational work requires constant attention and practice. You can't be a suave dog without putting in the time y'dig?
#2 is simple. The more you do something, the less it seems strange or abnormal. If you constantly force yourself to talk to girls you will lose your inhibitions towards it. Eventually it will become second nature and you can concentrate less on the motions and more on the meta.
OP, i was there, except i WAS that introverted scrawny ugly unstylish little fuck that couldn't hold a conversation. i had no social skills, but that doesn't mean you can't pretend to have them.
granted, i'm still scrawny and introverted, but i've built up the confidence to at least be able to hold a conversation with a girl for longer than an hour.
honestly, the only girls i talk to are the ones i knew from going out and school. i'm a freshman in college and my first day this blonde cutie who was my sister's friend recognized me in her bio class and always asked me to get lunch with her.
really, the only way to get past it is to get experience. i was unsocial and introverted all the way til senior year in high school. that's when i decided to go to homecoming/prom, go to parties, etc. the more you're around girls, the more comfortable you'll be around them.
find a fairly attractive girl you won't have feelings for and let her friend zone you. i'm friendzoned by one of the hottest chicks i know right now and while it sucks, i'm a lot more comfortable around other girls because i'm not really attracted to them. it's weird to think about, and it may not apply to you, but it works for me.
other than that, just don't sweat it dude. if girls call you hot and give you stares, chances are, they wanna get in your pants just as much as you want to get in theirs. i'm some beta cunt who has only ever been called cute, and "a really good friend", i've never been called hot before in my life. if i'm able to talk to girls, so should you.
good luck anon
You man the fuck ip and talk to them.
Believe me be4 you know it you'll graduate and lose the attention. In college no one knows/gives a fuck that you were once fat.
>>31939454
>tfw very introverted
>something about me makes people think I'm easy to talk to and sociable
>fucking people won't leave me alone
>god dammit, don't you know I hate you
Start over in college
>>31940028
Headphones are your friends.
>>31939960
Can confirm. After highschool your female interaction rate decrease significantly to the point where you are fucked as everyone already has a gf/bf and what is left of the dating pool is the bottom of the barrel. Also no more variety of chicks.
>>31940028
oh god this
the best is when i try to explain it to my family and they tell me to just get over it, like its something i can change on the spot
>>31940040
Yeah, because I can just wear headphones everywhere I go in public and at work. Totally wouldn't look like a legit autistic child.
>my friend's low-functioning autistic brother actually does wear two pairs of large headphones at the same time, possibly because he likes the pressure they provide on his head
>>31939454
Ok first, forget the alpha-beta whatever bullshit you learned from 4chan. It's autistic af and normals find it off putting.
>Spend time learning how to small talk and
socialize with men.
You have no sexual interest (I'm assuming) in your own gender so it's a good place to practice basic socializing skills.
>Make auxiliary friends and casual acquaintances.
This goes hand in hand with the previous and next steps. It's important to learn how to and how to be be comfortable with socializing with people on a regular basis, with whom you share no deep mental or emotional connection. This way you get exposed to interacting with different types of people outside of your usual friend groups.
>Begin to small talk and socialize with women.
Be platonic in your conversations and casual. Make it known (more to yourself than to anyone else) that you're not trying to have any type of sexual relationship with this person(s). This will help eliminate the anxiety you feel when talking to women and help make you comfortable/accustomed to being around women without adding any unwanted sexual tension.
>Begin offering compliments to women.
These compliments are meant to be superficial in nature and shouldn't be overtly sexual. Examples of this may be complimenting on a female's change of hair or clothing style. Offer these compliments without expecting anything in return. Imagine you are complementing them in a similar way to how you would comment on how somebody details their car. Do not force or remain on the subject of the compliment. After it's been offered let the female decide where the conversation topic ends.
Pt.2 in a moment
>>31939772
Keke too true
>>31940096
>Begin flirting with women.
Playfully flirt with girls you find attractive. Do this in a manner that is friendly and not overbearing. You can do this by (very obviously jokingly) pointing out flaws and coming up with nicknames for girls. Compliment them in a suggesting but not too forcefully sexual manner. DO NOT just walk up to them and tell them they're pretty. You have to make them feel desirable but at the same time imperfect as to show that you don't think they're the greatest person in the world. This will make you more desirable by comparison.
>Begin asking women out.
I'm not sure whether you're looking for something serious or just a quick fuck so I'm not going to write out a list of instructions for something you're not gonna do. I suggest going on some casual dates to learn how to interact in a romantic setting (and to figure out what you really want from a girl becuase it's probably different from what you think you want now). But you're gonna do what you're gonna do so..
Socializing is an art. Take small steps and recognize that you're not gonna become "the life of the party" overnight. You're not gonna get along with everyone and some people are just not gonna like you. Don't try to become somebody you're not to please those around you. Obsequious people are easy to spot and nobody wants to be around them becuase they're fake. You will get rejected but you're just gonna have to pick yourself back up and try again (with someone else).
>>31940092
Steven isn't just autistic he's full on retarded too
>>31939454
get drunk
it will just be natural to talk about anything, and this will raise your confidence
i was in the same boat in HS
>>31939454
Talk to lowerclassmen OP
Freshman / sophomore girls are too stupid to hide their real emotions and will throw themselves at you given the chance. All you need to do is act like mature fag of their dreams.
>Don't fuck them though, just use it to get grill exp points and level up to real girls
>>31939908
>Thinking on terms of a PUA is cancer.
This "PUA is bullshit!!! I'm independent! I'm just going to be myself and wait" mentality is pretty bad. Yes, most PUA out there is bad, and it has a bad reputation because of how terrible it was in the beginning, but people who think like this are missing out on a lot of great advice.
>Women are human beans just like me and you.
Nothing I said negates this.
>Am I fixing a car engine or trying to have a conversation with someone?
You're having a conversation with a purpose (better social skills/friendship/sex/a relationship.) Otherwise you might as well be talking to a wall. There are ways to achieve this and ways to not achieve it. The fact that you’re not fixing a car engine doesn’t mean there isn’t a right and a wrong way. And if there is a right way, which there is, you should spend time learning it, rather than “being yourself” and hoping everything just falls into place.
>>31939954
That's a false dilemma though.
>>31939960
>This
Finished uni and doing my internship now. I only see 1 old bish erryday all day.
These bits of advices won't help you, OP. Sometimes it's better to know nothing at all than a bit here and a bit there. Everything here is just a simplification. All these "just be social/funny/confident/etc." advices are useless. It's like telling a blind man, "Dude, just open your eyes, just see." You need a plan, a structured way of doing things, practical information, and you won't get it here. If you're serious about this, start looking somewhere else.
I've been struggling with this for years. I spent almost six years of my life on cocoon mode fixing my body and personality, and went from having zero friends and girls in my life to having true abundance. I know what it's like.
>>31940357
Ok you point out the problem but you're giving 0 solution.
You just said that none of the advies here will be useful but didn't give anything instead.
>>31940357
then give actual advice
Protip: Most people hate socialising, and if they don't initially, by the time they are middle aged they definitely will.
It's necessary for self development, achieving goals and general sanity though. Books help you learn how to socialise and achieve those goals better.
It's true that it fucks with your mind feeling that the socialising is all fake stupid rules, but everyone else has a leg up too nowadays, and if you try and do this naturally without help you're gonna struggle.
>>31940367
I didn't recommend any material because some of it isn't free, and people don't like to pay for anything. This >>31939921 is your best option so far. You risk becoming too much of a nice guy, but I bet you can find it free somewhere.
>>31939454
You're in high school so you have plenty of time, focus on the big picture and don't think of it as if every conversation is a life or death situation. Baby steps and like anything else that's difficult it just takes practice. If it starts off rocky don't sweat it, just (tswift, praise be upon her) shake it off and keep at it.
>>31939454
>about to graduate college
>have never been friends with a female
>have never had a real conversation with a girl
>always intimidated by them
>have no friends at all
>have no aspirations or hobbies
get out while you still can
>>31940186
I am not advocating low shelf "just be yourself" self help advice. Just an alternative to the overthought industry that PUA is.
>>31939454
>In high school
Dude, just ask questions, let them ramble on, listen and actually pay attention and remember what they say.
You will be like 10 years ahead of the game if you stop talking about yourself and just ask questions and be interested in other people.
Also avoid confontation by answering the question with something that seems related but isn't. I.e. politician mode.
>>31940465
PUA changed my life. Everything I have now I do because of it. 99% of PUA is absolutely horrible, but not all of it. I won't name any company so I don't sound like I'm promoting anything, but there IS great advice out there. I'm so thankful I didn't throw it all away. Most guys read an article, go out one night, try a thing here, a thing there, get blown out, become bitter and start with all this "PUA is bullshit!!!" They don't realize this takes time, years even. In the end, the least important thing I got from it was chatting up women. It's a life changer really. I guess my point is just don't throw out the baby with the bath water.
>>31939588
>>31939954
Any links to an Audiobook of this?
All the links i've found have 404'ed
>>31940440
How does something like this happen to a person?
You've been in college for 4 years and in that time never talked to anyone
>>31939715
This guys got it
>>31942338
not him but same situation. i just spent all my free time in my room, never talked to anyone unless i had to. after a while people never even tried to talk to me
>>31942338
i commute to school
ALCOHOL
>>31939454
Quick question, How the fuck do I handle talking to large groups of girls for the first time. It's overwhelming and I just go full spaghetti. Help me.
>>31940110
No one has replied to you so I will, you are a good guy anon, thank you for sharing your advice, I hope you live a fruitful life, have a nice day bud :)
Dude some girls dig shy nervous guys dont predent to be someone youre
>>31943421
Only if they're handsome.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Halo_effect
>>31939454
You have to be 18 to use 4chan, please leave.
Let me tell you something OP.
When I went to both elementary and HS, I thought I was a sad, ugly, miserable piece of shit. I never made a move on any girl I liked, even though girls would fucking stare at me, flashing smiles and trying to talk to me. In elementary I fell in love with a girl - never made a move, so my best friend ended up with her. She actually liked me though.
In the first year of HS I fell in love with another girl, and we would just look into each others eyes in the middle of the class, and she would always take out her pocket mirror to check me out and see if I noticed her. I never acted upon it When we graduated from HS, she told me that she used to write in her diary that she wished I would like her. I didn´t like her, I was fucking in love, and I missed out.
Other than that, so many girls - and gorgeous ones I tell you, kept getting attracted to me, but I bitched out because I was so damn shy and insecure. I even talked with girls in a flirtatious way, and got them all amped up and shit, but going in for a kiss or telling how I felt about someone was not a possibility.
I am still struggling with these things, but I am trying and I just met this girl who I asked out tomorrow on the phone, feels good man.
Long story short, you sound a lot like me in high school, and I have had issues with regret because I never did shit about it, so do something OP. Your approach doesn´t have to be perfect, just do something, anything. Also, if you are watching porn, I strongly advice you to quit that as well, it will mess your head up around girls completely. Been there done that.
So go for it OP, let me be the one who made the mistakes so you don´t have to, you´re my second chance bro! You´re gonna fucking make it! We´re all going to make it!
>>31939613
but if you're picturing that, why the hell would you still want to talk to her?
>>31939715
This x10000
