Hey /d/ I just got home from work feeling frisky and in need of a dildo in my butt... but I feel like I could be doing something more with it.
See, my job requires me to sit in front of a desk for long stretches of time. Every so often, I stand up and do some stretches whenever I can, but when I get home I end up doing more of the same. So... what do?
There must be some kind of check list of exercises you can do with a dildo. I have two of different sizes, one's 7 inches long, the other is 8 and both have suction cups. Any suggestions?
I was thinking of, like, doing 30 bounces on it on the floor, then 30 with it stuck to the wall, then do squats on it, etc. I feel like I would feel more accomplished if I were following an actual guide about this. Basically I want to get a rounder butt and, I guess, stronger legs? I know it's silly but I can't be the first one to think of this.
In the meantime /d/ masturbation thread. I'll dump some stuff! Elves, monsters, traps, futas, etc. Anything I can post related to this.
>>6720563
>>6720565
>>6720567
>>6720572
>>6720588
>>6720592
>>6720563
vigorous sex for 30 minutes burns between 150-300 calories, and you just increased the number of calories burned and the frequency with which you can do so, by removing the necessity of a partner. you could totally market this. you can call it dicksercise. Record a 30 minute exercise tape with a porn grove, do your stretches then do some stretching. 10 minutes of a mix of bicep tricep and crunches, followed by 20 minutes of squats.
in all seriousness though, if you want to get better legs and ass, hit the gym and go for kickbacks/donkey kick. That works your legs and your glutes and really makes your ass look great.
>>6720712
>hitting the gym and doing actual exercise where you don't cum
But that's not fun, though.
>>6720726
Sounds like you're going to the wrong gym.
>>6720730
I used to think this pic was hot until I noticed his right ankle...
>>6720813
I didn't really notice the ankles until now.
yeah.... a bit uncomfortable.
>>6720712
OP is not trying to get fit from exercise.
OP is trying to do erotic exercises with a dildo up the ass because OP wants to get off and feel like a sexy buttslut.
I understand this.
I want this too.
OP Google Image "Trap Mode," look at the obvious pics. Do the exercises with a dildo in your ass.
This runs into different fetish territory but femanons can kind of force themselves into kegel mastery by inserting polished stone eggs and working up to the point that they can hold one in while they walk around.
I have no idea how many calories it burns, but bigger muscles in general eat up more of your energy intake.
I suspect that you can't get much out of trying to train your ass in the same way, but it's not like I've tried, so somebody will have to do some science.
>>6720563
Semi related, i've got a medium bad dragon enderclaw toy, and I'm having trouble riding/bouncing on it.
I can fit it without any issues, i've even hilted with only spit as lube. The problem is it's too soft. It's the first bd I've ever owned, so i was worried about fitting it, but now it just flops out whenever i try to bounce on it.
Any suggestions?
>>6720563
Good news for you OP, I do this on the regular, but right before I shower.
I can do about 800~900 'bounces' on my 14 inch, but not all the way down. It's the best - I have so many toys but my favorite is the 14 inch one. I'm in the 'office' right now myself, so I can't get into detail until I get home, but this is certainly something I can help with.
Bumping for now
>>6723559
>I'm in the 'office' right now
those quotes better imply you're not in an actual office or that you're an IT guy or else whoever runs networking at your place knows you wrote that
>>6723561
nah it's a PC shop.
I'm holding down the fort today.
Build a fuck post.
Get a post or pole that will have the dildo mostly inserted when you're on your tip toes, and fully inserted when you let yourself down.
Do calf raises until you cum
>>6723691
I wish they made these out of rubber or something. an actual "support pole" you could buy at home depot or something. that'd be nice. about 7.75 inches around
![duo[1].gif](https://i.imgur.com/IgZtaKa.gif "duo[1].gif")
>>6720813
I've seen that ankle somewhere before...
>>6723535
Buy a firmer one.
>>6723712
You can make them. Just get one of those wooden horse looking things.
I'd like this too... I need a nice morning routine before work.
>>6723773
That gif?
Nah, that's just perspective.
Get something like this
>>6720563
is it worth getting a dildo? I'm interested in prostate stimulation, but the small amount of fingering I've done (worried about nails scratching something) has yielded no stimulation. Do the vibrating ones make that big of a difference?
I'd like to do squats and exercises with a dildo but I'm not sure if it's a waste of time and money or not.
>>6724883
sauce?
>>6724924
T.S. I Love You 5 by Amanoja9
The first 2 are OK, 3-5 are amazing.
There's one after called EX1 and it is the best imo
>>6724903
It's much easier with a toy, though I can do it with my fingers too.
Get a nice thick carrot and a condom and see if you like it, that's what I did.
>>6724903
if you do decide to get a dildo, do some research on the material, silicon is best because you will most likely not have a allergic reaction to it.
>>6724903
I didn't like the dildo I bought much but I bought an aneros and it's amazing. It's made to push right against your prostate and when I use it, it always feels great right away. The only bad thing about it is you can't move it in and out much because it's short and has a fat base.
This is the one I bought.
http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B001AQI5W8/ref=pd_lpo_sbs_dp_ss_2?pf_rd_p=1944687662&pf_rd_s=lpo-top-stripe-1&pf_rd_t=201&pf_rd_i=B001AQNSFW&pf_rd_m=ATVPDKIKX0DER&pf_rd_r=0VSZRV7DZMXJ839P8MVT
>>6724903
>Is it worth getting a dildo?
YES. YES. YES.
YES It's worth it. And the more textures, the better. Big ridges, giant veins
Ridged or textured dildos will _change your life_.
Smooth dildos and buttplugs are just for the full feeling. But textured dildos pumping in and out of your ass will have you pissing and squirting precum on your knees for hours, once you really get into them.
For fingering, use latex or nitrile gloves. Something about these gloves makes your ass spasm.
Clip and file your nails beforehand.
And GET A DILDO. Get a towel, too, or some cardboard, or anything for the floor, because you're going to make a mess. I suggest the bathroom.
>>6726254
if there are any more guys here who have positive buttstuff experience, please share and tell about it in detail
i'd be lying if i said it didn't get me off
I really want to use a dildo, but having to clean my ass puts me off
>>6727018
This is the part of porn they down show. The enema you give yourself to flush all the shit out, and even then there still might be some residual amount being processed in your bowels.
Ass play would be great otherwise.
>>6727018
Just start with toilet paper. You don't have to do an enema, but you'll have more accidents.
Sit down in the bathroom with a TV-stand, a laptop on it, and get to fingering your ass with toilet paper while you browse porn.
It will feel good, while cleaning you out at the same time.
Eventually your ass is going to stretch and this will get easier, and soon you can move onto disposable gloves. Between the two, you're finger fucking yourself while cleaning yourself at the same time.
Throw gloves in the trash, not the toilet.
Use a condom with your dildo. Once you've fingered yourself clean, you can still have accidents, but you'll be good for a while. And even then, you just clean up and continue.
When you really want to go all out, you can do enemas, and those can be their own fun.
Eat meals with balanced fiber and drink lots of water for 1 to 2 days before your big night.
Do this cleaning in the morning and at night before bed every day, and you'll find you're ready for fucking more often than not.
>>6727221
Also, fun fact, if you do this instead of (or in addition to) an enema, your ass will actually smell good.
Enemas leave a lot of goo that still has the smell in it. It's great to get stuff really deep in you, but when you're cleaning your insides with paper and gloves, it's like scrubbing your piping clean.
Your ass actually smells kind of sweet, like honey, afterwards. The colon isn't dirty; it's the contents that are dirty.
>>6726254
Could you recommend any specific ones anon?
I was a retard and bought a shitty slim 6 inch one that has that really awful plastic smell and taste and am now looking for something to replace it with while upgrading in size but I'm not really sure which ones are good and which ones aren't.
>>6727299
Unfortunately I haven't experienced many small ones...
When I was teen, I couldn't buy toys, so I'd make then. I'd shove flashlight handles up my ass... stuff toilet paper in and around cardboard rolls and make ridges, then wrap them tightly with plastic and fit a glove over... Pretty sure I stuffed a family member's travel shampoo up there too.
Get silicon if you can. And get condoms to avoid any smells that you don't like. Lookup "crown condoms" on amazon.
This is what I use right now
Amazon: "Letsgasm Medical Grade Silicone Dildo - 9" Huge Dildo - The Big Boy Big Dildo With Suction Cup"
maybe there's a smaller version of it? It can be too big for me if I don't stretch before. but that head ridge is amazing... and squeezes the precum out of you.
And this buttplug is a nice one I liked for starting out... its ridges are rude.
Amazon: "Raging Hard-ons Butt Plug, Large"
Be gently and listen to your body... stretch is fine. pain is bad.
...this thread is amazing. i just wanted to say that. honestly, i'm an overweight guy, and now i feel inspired to improve myself (seriously). thnx /d/
>>6727363
Thanks anon! That looks to be about what I was after. I might get that plug too.
>>6726987
My first "dildo" was actually a buttplug. It was small, tapered, pink, and I'll never forget the thrill of buying it. In person! I was so nervous! The clerk was a nice middle-aged woman who helped me relax, she was patient and completely nonjudgemental.
Problem was, it was too soft. It took a couple nights before it even went in at all. It was still oddly stimulating just to try, the sensation on my opening. Maybe if I'd used lube it would have been easier, but it was mostly the softness and being an anal virgin.
Then I found a position where it actually went in. It was... bizarre. Nice and wrong at once. Fascinating, but vaguely disappointing. I didn't feel like I was being fucked or anything.
Until I started fapping, tensing my thighs, and then I felt it. Woah, what the hell was that and how could I get more.
I didn't understand about prostates, I still don't know the details. Just that it felt really good to buck my hips with something inside, putting pressure on... the prostate, I guess.
I got my real dildo a month or two later. That was 5 years ago, and I still have it. It's not especially thick... But it's very rigid, so I can buck against it and it's SO much better than the soft plug had been. It's a nice blue silicone, with a realistically-shaped head and exaggerated "veins" which serve as ridges. I don't want it to be any larger, it's always been just right for me. I slide it in (usually very slowly, without lube, to make cleanup simpler) and just wriggle my hips. When I cum, the involuntary tensing makes it press hard inside me, forcing out blissfully draining, extended orgasms.
>>6727018
I was worried about this too, I'm really lazy. I don't clean my ass specially (though I generally poop first then decide if it's a good time). I just clean my dildo carefully between uses.
Though I did try a water-bottle enema and it was *weeeeird!* Like being tickled inside. Not bad, but intensely strange.
>>6726987
>>6727299
I'm all about Tantus right now. They're medical grade silicone, nonporous, machine washable, wonderful stuff. Normally they're pretty expensive, but they have a new sale pretty much every month. If you sign up for the newsletter, they'll send you occasional e-mails (seriously not a lot) and all you have to do is wait. Then eventually they'll have a deal where you can get exactly what you want for super cheap.
I bought the Sport off their "limited edition" items. Basically it's their page for the ones they messed up manufacturing slightly. I honestly couldn't tell you what's wrong with mine though because it's awesome. Only 1.2" diameter on the shaft, but the head is maybe 1.5". Feels absolutely amazing when it pops inside. I cannot recommend it enough.
Are there any dildos/plugs on Amazon that are under like 10 bucks or so? I know that you get what you pay for and it's probably good to get quality for something you're shoving up your ass, but I don't want to spend a bunch of money on something that I may not even like and just chuck in the bin. Cheers in advance.
i know this might not be important to this thread, but i still felt that it belonged here.
>>6727755
it's not so much about not liking it, it's about learning how to do it properly... i guess???
kinda the same as learning how to drink coffee or beer.
>>6720813
>think the pic is hot
>No idea what anon is talking about
>What's wrong with hoooooomyGOD
So much nope. I'm out. See ya, guys.
Do push-ups and deepthroat it.
>>6720563
Look up Double Naked Workout with Dildo. It has some good ideas in it.
Related dildo stuff, does anyone have experience dealing with ass hair? I'm a novice and I've noticed some irritation when my cheeks are together but as soon as I spread 'em with my hands, everything's fine. Is that hair? Does anyone have experience with this? Can you wax your b hole smooth for ease?
>>6731652
I personally use a 5 blade (name brand razor) to shave my ass, I just lightly 'tap' the area and not pull down or up. It removes the hair very well
>>6731652
apply a bit of baby powder up there and you're good to go.
>>6732879
Or goldbond powder if that doesn't work.
There are these adjustable TV-stand tables at walmart that are perfect for squatting on...
You stick a suctioned dildo on it, straddle the table, and then squat until you can't anymore...
>>6726987
I am 24 now and my first buttplay experience was at 20. I had been really curious, so one day after a shower I lubed up my finger and kind of played around the outside, rubbing gently around the sphincter and then slowly forcing it inside. It felt kind of strange, not really good or bad, until I pulled it out and learned my first lesson of anal play: always clean yourself out first. I bought an anal douche.
The next couple times I tried playing with my butt were pretty boring, it felt pleasant but not amazing, until the time I finally found my prostate. I had finally worked myself up to having two fingers up my butt, having two fingers in finally let me in deep enough to reach it, and the feeling of pressing against that little organ was fucking amazing. It was like an instant rush of arousal washed over my body. I couldn't control my self for long, my other hand just instinctively reached for my cock and jerked it hard for an amazing orgasm. It took me a few times after that to actually have an extended session with fingerfucking my hole, it took some discipline on my part to not touch my cock while playing with my ass.
Eventually I wanted something more than my fingers, so I bought a smallish plastic anal wand online the feeling of the 'beads' it had going from small to large was very different and very stimulating to my anus, and the angle this toy had was just perfect for getting at my prostate. Buying this toy started me down a very slippery slope of buying sex toys, both buttstuff and onaholes. My next butt toy was a buttplug, which was too small and not long enough to really give me any stimulation. I learned my lesson with that one. My next toy was a glass dildo, with a thick head, and bumps on the shaft all the way down. The weight of this toy really feels nice and filling. My newest toy is a big purple silicone dildo, with a suction cup and balls. It is quite realistic, with veins and everything. (cont.)
>>6726987
>>6737516
I wanted to try something even thicker than my glass dildo, and I was not disappointed. It is quite a stretch to get it inside, but it is so satisfying to plow my own hole with that big tool. My favorite butt toy of all, however, is my Aneros.
I got my Aneros Progasm model about 6 months ago. The first few sessions with it were really nothing special, it felt nice but not mind-shattering like many reviews said it would be. I didn't use this toy very often for the first few months for this reason. However, over time, I slowly began to learn how to use this toy, how to manipulate with my ass muscles, and gradually my sessions using it began to get better and better. Through practice with this prostate massager, I learned how to have anal orgasms. They are usually very powerful and I can have one right after another, the most powerful of them causing me to leak precum profusely. Rubbing and pinching my nipples while my ass milks itself with the aneros is what causes the most powerful assgasms.
So in just a few short years I have become quite the anal fanatic. I usually play with my ass 2-3 times a week, always cleaning out with my anal douche before hand. My typical session starts with me relaxing with some chill music, laying down on my bed naked with a towel down to catch any mess, sometimes in stockings or sheer thigh highs. I lube up my fingers, and tease my boypussy, sometimes fingering it for a bit, before I get my aneros out and insert it, sit back and let my ass go to work. I'll typically do this for 20-30mins, and have a few anal orgasms, before taking out my big purple dildo and reaming myself with it for a bit, then get out one of my onaholes, lube up my eager cock, and bring myself to an amazing finish, cumming literal buckets where the semen can't be contained in the onahole, it leaks out around my dick. One of these sessions usually leaves me feeling drained but extremely satisfied, I feel like I'm on a cloud for an hour or so after
