/bdsmg/ -- BDSM & D/s General No. 217
BDSM discussion, stories, questions, random fantasies, just keep it polite and civil.
Fetlife Group -> https://fetlife.com/groups/66560
irc channel: irc.irchighway.net , #bdsmg
Old thread: >>5741601
Starter Question: I've recently heard it described from a Domme's perspective that she doesn't enjoy bondage because it dulls the subjects reactions. With bondage, there is no more struggle, or fight. A gag covers audio reactions, and a blindfold facial reactions.
So! Dom/me's, why do you enjoy bondage, and do you see this side of it? What draws you to bondage in spite of this, if so?
Subs, what do you enjoy most about bondage? What do you think about this point of view?
I'm a switch, and I don't believe that's true at all.
From the Dominant point of view, I love watching the struggle in spite of being bound. Subs tend to fight more when they're bound simply because they enjoy testing those limits, wriggling, crying out through the gag... Or others might just be content to be bound and that reaction from them is adorable. It takes a good Dom to sense the reaction and struggle in spite of bondage - not to offend the Domme you were speaking to.
From a submissive point of view, however, restriction heightens the sensation in every other part of the body. For ever sense you remove (sight, hearing) the others are increased. And I certainly enjoy wiggling and "trying" to escape my bonds.
I find myself in a curious situation.
I live in a relatively small town (800k) in a relatively third world, sexually repressed country. For these reasons, the BDSM, or as it's called here, "theme" circle is mainly limited to bored 40-year old housewives outnumbered by fat, but rich men at 10:1.
What little amount of young girls willing to have a relationship with a young man without being forcefed money have already tasted my belt.
Now I'm 23 and I have to, but have NO IDEA how to, have a normal vanilla relationship. Discussing intricacies of incoming sex on the first date, relationship dynamics that don't involve my sub obeying me when I insist as a master, inability to simply fix my partner's behaviour by administering punishment and instead having to deal with it - all of this is completely alien to me. I don't understand what to do.
meant to say
discussing <...> being a social taboo that makes me a creep
>>5749935
Being 23 and a Dom... I mean, you're really young. You say you don't know how to have any other relationship, but it's not as if you've been doing this for 23 years. The only way you're going to learn to give it up is by going and having normal relationships.
You're young. It's not difficult, no matter what you think.
>>5749935
Well, your issues have more to do with you being 23, then it has to do with you being a dom. Sounds like your relationships have been very formulaic and perhaps even shallow thus far. This might be a blessing in disguise. Just take it slow, communicate and realize that you will make mistakes along the way.
>>5749766
I enjoy the struggling aspect of bondage the most. I love many aspects of BDSM but I am completely content with being tied up and then left to struggle/try and escape. Other stimuli only enhance the thrill of being tied up. As to sensory deprivation, I enjoy it because it enhances whatever my partner is doing to me. I am very strong willed and can take quite a bit when I can see it coming. Taking away the ability to see allows a more intense experience.
I understand the Domme's perspective and I have heard other Dommes say the same thing, albeit for different reasons. One Domme told me she expected her sub to not squirm and just to take it. Bondage was not needed. The other said things like rope and such took too much time so if bondage was involved it was a simple pair of cuffs that could be put on quickly so the Domme could get to what she really wanted to do (pain play in this case.)
>>5749922
Little White Butterflies. It's a collective of porn translators.
>>5749766
I like the serenity of it all; the pain, the blindness, the power-exchange, the immobility. To me, it's very beautiful. The fact that you can't do shit but you know you're safe and in the arms of someone you love. That everything will be alright. I am one of those fairly strange folks who finds pain theraputic and calming.
I think this lady's POV a shit, but I'm not going to go on holy crusade to scream at her that she's subhuman and the like. Because each to their own, for the most part.I guess she's wrong because you can certainly struggle if tied up. You can still scream as loudly as you can through the gag. But the blindfold is a fair point.
>>5749766
Switch here.
Dom perspective: I enjoy it when my sub is unable to squirm away or otherwise stop my attention (safewords notwithstanding, of course). Since I like forced orgasms, this tends to be a necessity. Plus, ropework looks pretty if it's done right.
Sup perspective: See above. I want to make my dom happy, but I have a shitty pain tolerance (depending on what's being done to me) and tend to violently squirm. Restraints keep me from hurting myself or others by lashing out. Blindfolds are also somewhat of a necessity for some kinds of play (sensation play, notably).
>>5749511
varies person to person.
>>5749688
enjoying the kink, basically. i think my biggest one for it is the "why in so many latex fetish porn productions do they suddenly take all the latex OFF when it's time to have sex?" but it's similar to "if you're flogging someone not because you enjoy the flogging, but because you are viewing flogging in a transactional context just to get normal sex, you're not someone i feel comfortable trusting with a flogger." (intent: generic, nonpersonal, second person 'you')
>>5749766
for me bondage equates directly to safety. i'm starting to learn how to feel safe without bondage, but it is an entirely different and nowhere near as euphoric safety.
the less i can move, the more controlled and protected i feel. plus i'm a massive squirmer, so restraints prolong available playtime since i'm less likely to exhaust myself with flailing if i can only move minimally.
>>5749766
Hmm... I don't have much actual experience yet, so not sure if I can really answer this with a good sample of opinions, but for me as a sub...
I don't really like to struggle or fight, bondage or no bondage, unless that's something my domme desires in the first place. There are a lot of things I enjoy about bondage,some of which is different based on types of bondage. With bondage in general, I love knowing that my domme has positioned me exactly where she wants me. It's safe. It's comforting. It's exciting. When bound, I know my body is exactly where she wants it to be, and its not going anywhere else unless she wants it to. Even without bondage, I'd do my best to hold a position for her, but then I'm fighting against myself, trying to resist the twitches and antsiness of my own body. With bondage, I can surrender to the bonds. I can give up the struggle and know they'll hold me in place for her. Whether she just wants me nearby for petting, or whether she's teasing me, or whether she's making me spasm and jerk with pain pleasure--regardless of what she's doing, when bound, I can surrender to her bonds and stop worrying about if I'm in the right spot, if I'm holding my arms or legs right, if my eyes are wandering and making me distracted, etc. etc. and so forth. It helps me submit. Even with bonds that don't restrict--like collars or un-linked cuffs--when they're placed on me, it helps reinforce the knowledge that I'm in my place, exactly where she wants me to be for her.
>>5749766
>>5750397
With gags, it's a mixed bag. I'm not sure how much I'd enjoy closed gags. I absolutely love oral touch, so most of gags deny me that-which then works on the level of pleasure denial, preventing me from seeking that pleasure on my own. In contrast, open gags like ball gags with holes, actually force me to be more expressive because then I can't suppress my panting, bite back moans, or other little things I tend to do to be quieter. Not to mention drooling... the act of drooling being forced by gags is both incredibly embarrassing and incredibly hot.
With blindfolds, I love the sense deprivation. For me, sealing my sight away actually helps me block things that might distract me from the scene, while also heightening my hearing and touch. I usually close my eyes on my own to help with this, so being blindfolded is just super nice.
With rope, I love the way it feels when the rope digs into my skin, pressing and squeezing. I can enjoy just wearing it because of the way it can hug me oh so nice and tight. Rope is also just the bestest most flexible bondage tool ever since it can be used to bind me or others in so many different ways. Nottomentiontheideaofbeingstrungupandmanipulatedlikeapuppetformistresssamusementisincrediblyfuckinghot.
When I top with rope though, I tend to get artsy and really specific on making sure it looks nice to me. I also tend to like tight rope; largely because it's what I like on me, but also because I tend to tie so I can have my way with them without being stopped or resisted.
At first I thought I wouldn't like latex at all because my experience had been with disposable medical gloves and condoms, but then my first kink experience with latex was a vacbed. Like with rope, the squeezing, hugging tightness just makes me hum. It's interesting though. The dulled sense of touch is somewhat strange, but when it's suddenly heightened by the hot/cold contrast that hits when a domme touches that latex, it's an amazing sensation.
>>5749766
>>5750397
>>5750400
>>5750400
Leather cuffs are perhaps the bondage I've tried the least, and I can't say I've felt sensations as uniquely wonderful as with rope or latex. However, leather bondage is quick bondage, and for that much, I enjoy it. The fact that leather can quickly take me from unbound to bound is very exciting for me.
...And I think this is now officially my longest reply to a starting question for the thread.
>>5749766
I feel much safer when I'm in bondage, like I know for that moment all of Mistress attention is making sure I am ok. Also, for each sense cut off, it forces me to focus more on what else I can feel, smell or hear and my Mistress becomes the only thing I can really sense, so I feel like I'm closer to her.
Mistress says she enjoys bondage because it enhances my reactions despite the restrictions, the rope makes any struggling harder to do, but she finds them easier to notice, or if I try to cry out from behind a gag she hears how I am feeling rather that hearing my words. I don't know if I am doing her description justice though.
Hey, /d/.
I'm a bisexual male dominant. Financial domination's gotton me hot and bothered in some ERP, so I'd like to try it out through the internet. how would I find someone to do this with?
>>5749766
sounds like she's a boring-ass rigger who doesn't know how to get reactions out of people. I love bondage. I find it really relaxing to slowly tie someone up with some nice music on and I love how some people just *flop* as soon as they try to move whatever part of their body and realise that they can't.
>>5750505
There are groups for it on Fetlife but a lot of the 'finsubs' on there are utter trash.
I'm a big guy (shut up Bane), so in my view, bondage is the only way I could struggle at all. If I was free to move and tried seriously tried to struggle, I'd just end up overpowering her.
The idea of having a domme who could easily wrestle me into submission is appealing, but I was more or less born with the wrong body for that, so I'll stick with my preference for willingly submitting to girls much smaller than myself.
i hope you dont disappoint.
>>5750505
If you want the cheap route hangout on /soc. They have a persistant erp thread.
Also try f-list, if you don't mind shitloads of furries and bronies.
I really hope you guys consider migrating soon. I wouldn't want to see anyone stuck in a bad place.
I love you guys, and I'm really grateful for everything, but I'm going to cut out porn from my life. I hope I'll get a chance to actually practice some of this stuff that way. I also hope I've been of some help/inspiration.
So long!
>>5751030
Good luck.
We're probably gonna stay on /d/ though, if I'd hazard a guess.
>>5751030
Is /d/ a bad place? I'm a little confused.
But, good luck!
>>5751098
Nothing has changed with the /d/ community, so no. It's one the things that I think the highest of here. But I'll probably get banned permanently if I say what I think has gone wrong. Not that I ought to care. I might try and get more active on fetlife.
>>5751144
I get the feeling I know what you mean...
>>5751144
/d/ has ignored anything else on the rest of 4chan except to occasionally ask if they want to try tentacle-sex yet since 2003. We're liable to keep on doing that.
>>5751397
It is one of the best things about /d/: that it is quiet, that it stays in /d/ and is probably the nicest place here.
>>5750400
Not going to lie, I am pretty jealous that you have gotten to try out a vac bed. That is a dream of mine.
Hey guys, sub here. Right now I just have a bunch of oddly specific sub fetishes that are unrealistic and would be a burden in a relationship. How do I go about teaching myself to enjoy physical masochism or something more common?
>>5751098
Other than low postcount/reposted content due to low income of alternative hentai, no. Being sexually active however, means frequently high levels of oxytocin, which can mean satisfaction, which can mean lazyness.
>>5751691
>unrealistic and would be a burden in a relationship
You never know. Share.
>>5751397
Pretty much this! I haven't been outside of /bdsmg/ in a really long time. So, I'm pretty oblivious to the happenings elsewhere.
>>5751691
>>5751701
Going to have to agree with LS. I can't think of anything that would qualify for those things, except for things that are actually like, physically unfeasible to do in meatspace.
As far as low post count and reposted content... I'm going to be honest. I don't even really notice the porn anymore, except for when I see I picture I like and want to save for later threads. I come here for the community <3.
>>5749812
I don't recognize your name. *noseboop* Welcome to the thread!
>>5749935
Learn to drop subtle hints. Victorian England was sexually repressed on the surface, but there were more brothels than churches. People are interested in kink, but you have to learn how to slyly drop hints in conversation. Learn how to mention kink, bondage, and power dynamics in way where it could be played off as a joke. Also, you can sign up on fetlie or whatever social media kink page is popular in your country.
>>5750582
R34 of the gym leader Vallerie is surprisingly good. Saved to my collection. Thanks for the pic.
>>5749766
When on the giving end of bandage I enjoy being in control. Making someone blush and squirm gives me a certain satisfaction and pleasure. Tie up a sub and they are more likely to be a submissive puddle nuzzling into my hands.
On the recieving side of bondage I like the feeling of being bound. I like being wrapped up tight and restrained. However, being stuck in bondage is an immediate safeword. Being trapped in something is all kinds of terrible and panic inducing.
A quick google search tells me it's called Cleithrophobia.
>>5751774
So that would make shibari better for you as opposed to something like armbinders?
>tfw neurology student for at least 8 more years
>tfw all the people I love over distance aren't accessible
>tfw I'll remain a virgin till i'm 27
>>5752311
consider:
>use loans year of school
>flip burgers for cash
>spend around two thousand for a return flight, two days at a motel, and two days of restaurant food
>>5749766
Sounds like that Domme and my mistress are friends. She's teh same way. Which is unfortuneate since I love gags and bondage. I like bondage becuase then I can start fighting without winning. The helplessness of being at their mercy is a big turn on.
For gags, I have an oral fixation ( I think that's the right term). Sucking on fingers/dildos, licking her, biting, gags.
>>5751691
such as? unless it's physically impossible there's probably some way to make it work.
>>5752311
I'm a 29 year old virgin, so at least you'll be able to save money. :>
I hear being a wizard is nice too
Well. Haven't posted with a name in a long while.
That Cave Johnson thread die already? Damn, guess no one else felt like contributing.
>>5749766
Thread starter, Dom with a bit of a switch side:
From the dom side I'd say it's a very powerful feeling to have someone tied up and at your mercy. There's the struggle, they resist, react, but only as much as you let them. When you combine a gag, blindfold, and binds, ah, well there isn't really a way to describe the feeling. I get plenty of joy out of seeing a subs reactions to pleasure/pain, but their reactions get amplified so much when they can't see what you're doing, and aren't instinctively trying to keep quiet.
For the sub side: It's like >>5750117 and >>5750464 said. Just a kind of safe, comfortable feeling. I haven't done it save for self-bondage but I can definitely relate to the feeling. There's some times where I get home after a really long, rough day, tie myself up and take a nap. I end up feeling so much better when I wake up.
Kinda funny, I actually realized I enjoyed self-bondage when I was testing ties for someone else. Just kinda like "alright that works, they won't be able to slip out if I add another knot after. This is pretty comfortable. I think I'll stay like this a while."
>>5751649
Vacbeds sound really fun, for all the above reasons.
Also have some more porn.
>>5752766
Jesus anon.
https://duckduckgo.com/?q=how+to+get+my+shit+together
http://g.e-hentai.org/g/589002/337b822c5e/
This is a good mango even though I'm not even interested in femdom at all. Where can I find the rest? Ehentai does not have 1 and 5 tagged.
What's up, /bdsmg/? How are you all doing?
I stumbled upon these point and click puzzle games by accident, and I figured you fine people would probably like them:
http://aelie.altervista.org/
They don't have much replay value, but they're quite good fun.
>>5753058
Go to LWB and look under the femdom tag. They all have names like that, ie, "I crave, crave, crave a dicking"
That isn't one, fyi.
>>5752973
Sorry, I went full career mode
>>5753214
> browsing 5 at a time
nothx
[Akai Mato] doesn't have 1 and 5 on LWB either
Reposting from >>5753812
I've been into BDSM for a while now, and though I haven't ever actually been able to do any of it I know I'm a dom. My girlfriend is not into BDSM at all. She knows I am, but I rarely mention it and don't make her do anything BDSM related in the bedroom. I'm not even into hardcore stuff.
She, however, brings it up every so often. She's pretty much dead set against it, and any attempt to talk about it when she brings it up results in her getting angry. She's incapable of discussing it dispassionately.
Our latest argument involved her putting her hand and then her arms across my throat as we were kissing to keep me from leaning into it too hard. When I pushed her arms away, she started saying that I was hypocritical for wanting to do it to other people but not being willing to have it done to me. I tried to explain that I wasn't into asphyxiation at all and the differences between being a sub and a dom and a switch (as I have before) but she refused to accept that it was anything other than "hypocrisy".
I got her to concede that you could be into different flavors of ice cream without being hypocritical, but when I used that to compare to BDSM she said it wasn't the same because nobody was forcing you to like a flavor or eat ice cream when you didn't want it and that BDSM was built on horrible power relationships and some other babble. She won't even consider the fact that people like BDSM consensually within a scene and that you can have a relationship other than full-time hardcore master/slave, the concept of aftercare, safewords, etc. As we all know, proper BDSM is essentially a carefully constructed illusion that both people play their role in
>>5753437
I'm pretty sure I saw them. Try sadpanda, if you haven't already.
>>5754029
First, how do you know that you're a dom? I wasn't particularly sure I was mostly submissive until I actually took part in a D/s relationship.
Second, you need to ask yourself whether bdsm is a necessity, be it sexual, emotional, sensational, whatever, for you to have a relationship. If her not wanting to sub to you is going to break your relationship, either make it quick and leave her or never mention it again.
Third, it seems that she is dead set against it and will be deaf to all and any persuasion.
I'm not quite sure what your question is.
>>5754093
1) Uh...I know because I don't have any desire to be submissive? I dunno.
2) like I said, I don't bring it up or push it on her in the bedroom. Our relationship is great except for this one issue.
3) pretty much, but when I've asked to try and see what her issue is, it very rapidly descends into an argument and no headway is made. I don't care to argue with an irrational person who won't consider an alternative view, so I usually end it. She says she's considered it and still finds it terrible, but from what she says I don't think she has See: being a hypocrite for being a dom without wanting to be dominated
I'm really just looking for some other perspectives here. There's nobody else I can talk about BDSM with
>>5754115
>>5754133
>I dunno.
There you are.
>Relationship is great
Good.
>other perspectives
A suggestion: attempt to convince her further that it isn't the great satan that she thinks it is, by taking her to a munch.
In fact that's an awful idea don't do it.
>>5754149
No, don't take her to a munch. If she hates BDSM and gets belligerent about it whenever her lover brings it up despite otherwise being perfectly agreeable, I highly doubt taking her into the heart of the beast would change her mind.
>>5754133
There are more facets to your girlfriend's value to you than whether or not she'll appease your particular fetish, but you should really think about finding someone you're compatible with in the bedroom. Let's not beat it around the bush here: sex is very important to the overwhelming majority of people. If you try to deal with and it turns out that you needed it after all... well, you won't be in a good spot, to say the least. No one wants you to do anything you'll regret later, like cheating on her.
You could theoretically try to change her mind about it, but it sounds like she's already made her decision... Is it normal for her to try to asphyxiate you?
>>5754200
She brings it up, not me. See >>5754029
>She, however, brings it up every so often.
I don't really know why she does this, but she does. She usually makes some vaguely topical, subtly barbed joke which I brush aside, but once every three or four months she brings it up in a more direct way.
>>5754200
No, it's not. For what it's worth she wasn't really gripping my throat or anything, just pressing against it with her hand and then putting her arm about at the top of the clavicle (?). She says I kiss too hard and was trying to keep a bit of space, but when I removed her arm she started down this conversational path
>>5754029
your significant other choked you while you were kissing and then when you resisted she guilted you about what a hypocrite you are for not allowing it to happen
IMO that's pretty fucking rapey and the idea that you have anything to answer for is victim blaming
if anything the hypocrisy here is that she shames you for *fantasizing* about sexual control while she is *actively* trying to control your sexuality
>>5754259
This.
>>5754149
Also, you can know your role in bdsm without exactly having experience. Some people just know, and as was already mentioned by many, plenty of people know their roles at a young age and it just sticks. Is it possible to be wrong? yeah. Is it possible to grow or change? also yes. But it's also can be as simple as something you just know because it's a part of you.
>>5754029
Along with the person who said around rape-y and she's guilt tripping it, it's obvious you're fine but she has a problem. I'm not going to be like others and be like "BUT DO YOU HAVE A PROBLEM WITH NO BDSM ASDFG" since you already said that wasn't the case, which is perfectly fine. but what I will say is communication between her and you is obviously off. She didn't ask you to stop kissing so roughly, which is a flag on the communication part. Not to mention she is being very hard headed and extremely rude, whilst mentioning it. Something's up and she's not being fully open. In a relationship unless the topic is a "hard limit" one should be at least open to the partner's ideals, otherwise that's just being an asshole. And she keeps on bringing it up. Did you ever try asking her why she feels the way she does? If you want, try having her tell her side and pick out biases and try to get to the root. It may of been a bad experience or something that may actually make sense, or she could be interested and ashamed, etc.
>>5754585
cont'd
But a warning: I hate to say it looks like unless this is fixed your relationship is doomed, not due to anything BDSM, but due to lack of communication, whether due to unwillingness on her part or otherwise. It's obvious there are barriers and some issues on her end, and sometimes there is no reasoning. But for now, try to understand why she feels the way she does and explore it communication wise. Will it be difficult and annoying with the biases? Yes. But if you hope to get anywhere be mature and just pick through it for the sake of it. Open up communication. Figure things out. Calmly tell her you don't want a bad power relationship and explain to her what you do want and show her it can be positive. If all of this fails, then honestly? Find a new partner. Ignorance is not attractive and it can't work if she can't end up working through issues rather than being a dick.
>>5754585
>Also, you can know your role in bdsm without exactly having experience
I'm entirely aware. I was simply raising the question that there is a possibility that he is a sub/switch and simply doesn't know and or rejects such a notion, and perhaps he should muse upon it for a while. While you CAN know your role without any XP. my anecdotal evidence of DURR WASN'T A SUB UNTIL DISCOVERED probably is neither pertinent or common. In any case, I don't want to be an asshole or be perceived as such, and in no way am I stating that I somehow know a stranger's orientation better than he or she does, I'm just giving my 2c. If anyone's lurked these threads for a while, they'll probably notice that there's a difference between what I say and what I mean/intend to mean, and so therefore often come off as an autistic fucktard or an asshole. I very rarely intend to appear as such, and this is not such a case.
tl;dr, you're probably right, I'm sorry.
>>5754626
Sorry lost sub, I don't want this to be taken rudely but: You let your self esteem get the best of you way too much sometimes. You're a cool person and I like you, and in no way did I mean most of what you were saying. You gave your two cents and that was good, I just wanted to me it clear for OP that it is possible for him to know without needing experience, but your point is also valid as in plenty of people need experience to truly understand their place. It's possible for both people to be right.
You shouldn't be sorry for stating your opinion or even for it being unclear, as honestly, everyone will say something one person will understand and another one won't.
You tend to demonize yourself and honestly? It's not okay. For your sake. I mean that in the fact that you're cool and shouldn't belittle yourself since it's harmful and I don't think anyone likes seeing you see yourself that way.
Or maybe this is just a personal opinion and wrong, idk.
tl;dr; you're a cool guy and way too hard on yourself and have valid points that I wasn't disagreeing with, I was just making things clear for OP.
Have some cute.
>>5754646
Th-thanks, Anon. I'm just suffering the textbook withdrawl from being a painslut. Tbh, I think I'd describe myself best as "a harmless autist with exceedingly dark quasi-sexual fantasies which sometimes get in the way of making friends."
So you see, some of this hardness is needed in order for me to be a functional person. In the least edgy way possible, I need to constantly keep myself in check lest my...desires get the better of me.
And being institutionalised is going to put a dent in my book tour and I honestly can't have that, now, can I?
motherfucker not again.
>>5754665
Makes sense. Well, I hope you find a balance that works for you!
>>5754675
Me too, anon. Me too.
My college really hammers down the whole consent tango. I'm not sure how I'm going to hit someone/be hit when I live in a residential hall with no soundproofing and no actual gags.
>>5754665
nigga you need to stop thinking so much
>>5754704
Nigga, if you heard horrible, mind-rattling screams coming from the dorm room of that one weird and creepy boy, you'd be alarmed and worried too.
My housing is prolly at risk. Unless I can, you know, say THIS PERSON CONSENTED TO BEING HIT, here is their consent form yadda yadda.
>>5754710
No, I mean about your mental issues.
The logistical concerns are valid
>>5754713
I'll try to forget.They're probably small potatoes compared with stuff other people here have. I'll be fine!! Drowning a problem with pillz and tea and friends has always seemed to help, so I'll continue with that approach. I'll go see a doctor when I'm back home, though.
>>5754717
Just because they aren't as big as some people's issues doesn't make them any less valid. Drowning them with pills doesn't sound great, but if it's done in an all right manner, well, then fair enough. Please stay safe and take care of yourself! Maybe see a therapist or idk. Figure out what works for you, but I hope things get better!
>>5754733
I haven't had a serious psychological break in a long time. My last serious one was about three weeks ago, and the one before that was more or less last year. As far as I know, my noggin is fine. Thankyou for your concern, though.
>>5754735
That's, uh...not that long ago. And as far as I kno most people don't have major psychological breaks, whatever that means
>>5754760
For me this means audio hallucinations.
This last one was fairly pleasant. My sister's voice telling me to be careful. Despite that I was five thousand miles away from her at the time.
But yes we are getting dangerously off topic.
>>5754761
You don't have a psychological break to need a therapist, dear. You have self esteem issues and it can certainly help you work through that.
Therapy can help from mundane to serious psychological shit, either way their only purpose is to help, and you can't go wrong there. Or at least a good one is like that.
So news in my world: I tried switching and it went REALLY REALLY BADLY. I think it was just a bad time for me though so I'm not writing it off. I think most people would react badly to pain when they're premenstrual and dropping. Also, I'm trying to start up a femdom munch in my city. Any tips?
>>5754029
so have you considered not dating mental kink-hating feminists? because I would recommend that, personally.
>>5754665
You really gotta find someone to beat the neurosis out of you mang.
>>5755004
>Also, I'm trying to start up a femdom munch in my city. Any tips?
Helps if you have a critical mass of people so the group conversations can at least be dynamic and interesting. It can suck showing up to a small group as an new face and having a boring night -- sometimes it's not bad though and three people can have a good night and become friends. Too large of a group is an issue too, though -- people will slip into their comfort zone and might not engage. This initial group also needs to keep coming to the group so newbies feel like there is a solid foundation. Get them to advertise their attendance (a post in a meetup thread) so people can guess the numbers before they attend.
A good amount of mingle space helps so people don't feel crowded. I recommend having this meeting at a place that supports the lifestyle and has other things to do. There are meetings here at a small coffee/book shop that's on the liberal/hippy side and already has a lot of sex related books out in the open (think "gay and lesbian witchcraft"). Sure it's bollocks, but it's fun to read.
Starbucks probably won't be cool with their customers hearing about foot worship, though you might be okay if they have a back room. If possible, make your appearance known so people know who to look for. Asking "is this the femdom group?" to random strangers might not go over well.
Try bringing some healthier snacks instead of stuff like donuts and coffee or cookies (don't overspend though). People get a sugar spike and then feel sleepy. This is where venue choice can also help. If you need to convince an owner to host you, you can always say your core group will bring some business to the table (show them the advertised attendance).
I wouldn't pay for meeting space if you can help it. The business you bring should be enough. You can always meet informally, but you risk getting asked to leave if someone doesn't like an overheard conversation.
cont.
>>5755026
Make the rules known up-front. Again, might now want a leather princess showing up to Starbucks.
Don't be afraid to put your foot down and ask disruptive/terrible people to leave. Conserving the group atmosphere is more important than attendance numbers.
>>5755004
Hating kink and feminists don't go hand in hand. Feminazis is one thing, feminists is another.
Had to say it, now hopefully it won't start an argument.
>>5755056
The phrase can also be read "feminists who are mental and also kink-hating", and under principle of charity you should assume that's what's meant, since it's nicer.
That said though, I kind of agree; there are far too many people calling themselves feminist who wouldn't recognise feminism if it hit them with a lead pipe.
... and certainly not if it hit them hard enough.
>>5755057
Agreed, I can understand what was meant but of course I'm a feminist and a sub. Any -reasonable- one realizes the point of it is being able to do whatever the fuck you want with your life as long as it's safe, sane, and consensual.
>>5755004
have a plushie of some kind to mark the table. if the munch listing says 'look for the table with a Rider figure posed on top of a Weighted Companion Cube' it's bloody unlikely there'll be any mixups.
Actually did this with the cube once, worked like a charm.
>>5754259
you're reading about 50 miles to far into that statement. he puts a lot of neck-pressure into his kisses, she tries to find some way to make it comfortable for her which doesn't really work, they're having other problems so it becomes an argument about something basically irrelevant.
>>5754029
it's important that you get that neither of you can discuss it dispassionately, because ultimately you can't talk about it without your hope that you and her can be doing it some time getting in the way. she is being pretty pig-headed about not wanting to do it, but people can have lots of reasons for not liking a thing which aren't necessarily what they state out loud, especially not in the context of being asked to do something by their partner
>>5755068
Not being into I could understand, but she is actively giving him shit about it. She sounds like a huge bitch.
>>5755140
This. It's obvious it bothers her a lot, and instead of sitting down to express herself appropriately she brings it up randomly and creates a fuss.
BumpDSM
>>5753087
Pretty fun and imaginative. Don't suppose you know of any more like that?
>>5749812
Staaarbooooooy.
I have a question for this thread:I'm a male sub, and i'm worried because i'm really "well endowed", if you get my gist.
Why this may sound good for some SPH sessions, i'm afraid that it may prevent me from having a long lasting relationship, especially since i'm afraid of being betrayed and my body frame doesn't allow me to be a sissy.
>>5754585
I love that picture. I just need its inverse. <3 >>5755028
Depending on where you are from, a leather princess just might drum up extra business. Happened in a local bookstore a couple months ago.
Also, just saying that these threads are always the most fun on /d/. Stay classy
>>5755690
I share your *ahem* problem. It never was an issue. My Miss, was very open with me and playtime changed how we interacted. Plus having toys larger than you help a lot if you are having difficulty with the mindset.
>>5754897
I get over the majority of my problems by either medication or talking about them with friends. It generally works.
>>5755004
There is this one girl in the next college over who seems to have an interest in both myself and bloodplay. I'm not sure how that's going to go, I'm rather excited.
Tips for your munch? Massive grain of salt, as always, but make whatever rules you choose to put in place absolutely crystal clear, as to avoid butthurt, and make the "rules-that-if-you-break-you-leave-instantly-and-never-come-back" labelled as such.
>>5755690
I hope you enjoy CBT.
morning/evening bdsmg
It's been ages since I've posted
I recently reformatted my HD when I got a new SSD, I was wondering if you guys have a nice collection of rope tutorials saved and could dump some for me?
>>5755690
As a fellow subbie type who is well endowed;
Believe me, it'll mostly work in your favour. If you're into CBT, doubly so.
>>5755690
I don't really understand why you're worried about that in the first place. Why would being hung interfere with having long-term relationships?
tfw mild size anxiety, but that's okay because I'm better at giving head than using it.
>>5755818
This is what I was thinking.
>>5754029
Drop the bitch.
Yah! I just got my first lengths of hemp rope today. It's untreated, though. Do ya'll have a prefered method of treatment? and does it stink that badly while boiling?
>>5755057
yeah, I wish the term 'female chauvinist' would actually catch on, because that's what they are.
>>5755758
not saying you have to have one, but medication+therapy is much better than medication or therapy alone.
>>5756243
damn I wish I wasn't so sick to remember the steps to treating hemp.
How untreated are we talking? I can't remember hearing about 'boiling' it.
Washing it in a washing machine on hot, yes, but not boiling.
Then stretch dry, bake, burn of the fuzzies, and waxing and oiling.
>>5756243
the fuck is this
did she just kill the next guy over?
>>5756673
No, she was making a PB&J
>>5756673
It's what they call implied guro. Not quite my cup of tea, but I love the artist's style. He/she has a gorgeous way of depicting suffering.
Also posted in pet thread but gonna ask here as well:
I'm usually puppy to my mistress, but sometimes she gets in a subby mood or me in a dom mood. She likes being called a little piggy or plump piggy but were still searching for more alternatives, as well as something for her to call me as "master" isn't my favorite. Anyone have any certain names or words they like to use? Pet or otherwise I like to hear from people
>>5756738
>For you
Exultant Crasher of Planes With No Survival :^)
Lord
Sir
Boss
Eminence
Your Majesty
Overseer
>For Her
General derogatory names, like slutbitchwhorecunt
Fat Sow
>>5756819
The main thing for her is she doesn't like a lot of super degrading names, she loves slut but not bitch and I don't think whore as well, which is a shame because I'd love her to be my bitch but I see where shes coming from;
and while she likes to be called chubby or plump and stuff, she doesn't like fat or anything that's not at least kind of cute or endearing. I myself can handle a lot when subbing but there are some limits. Slutty sow might work well ill run it by her one way or the other ;)
Whats the story of this picture?
>>5757303
Sparrow likes drawing elven sluts in bad(?) situations? I dunno if there's more to it than that.
>>5749766
Master:
I think there's still plenty of struggle. I love tying up my pet and watching her squirm as I edge her or spank her. I don't think gags or blindfolds cover up reactions, so much as transform them. Begging becomes whimpering, for example. Besides, it's just so satisfying to have her bound and completely helpless, unable to do anything as I have my way with her. <3
Pet:
I adore being tied up. Of course I want Master to enjoy Herself, but it's also lots of fun for me, too! I love the helplessness aspect of it; the knowledge that no matter how hard I struggle, I'm trapped and at Her mercy.
>>5755690
Oh fuck, i'm an idiot. I meant NOT well endowed. As in, i have a small pecker. Goddamnit.
>>5757563
Some girls are totally into that, especially in BDSM. You don't need the body frame to be a sissy, if that's what you want, either. Also?
Basic vanilla advice: it's not the size of the sword, it's how you use it. This applies in everything. Worried your dick isn't doing it? Make sure she's satisfied with everything else. Look up anatomy. Simply understanding of that and the clit will get you far. Understand how her and women's bodies work. Friggin google it, you will get a lot of good info. Plenty of women prefer oral anyways.
>>5757574
And if anything else fails? FRIGGIN ASK HER. Simply consideration will not only make you look good, make it easier, ensure you're pleasing her, AND set you apart from any more well endowed guy, guaranteed. Communication is key in everything, especially relationships.
I'm in a good mood today, /bdsmg/.
There's a girl I've been seeing a lot at work, and I'd suspected that she'd taken a shine to me. Well, this turned out to be true - we went out to dinner late last night and confirmed 2 things:
1. She knows about me and Singalmo (and likewise Singalmo knows about her) and is willing to try a polyamorous/open relationship. Currently trying to find time to take both of them out for lunch to discuss things further.
2. After taking a huge goddamn risk, I find out she's interested in kink.
I am just fucking giddy right now. It's going to be a good day today.
Also porn for sitting through my personal blog.
>>5757784
You lucky whore. Make us proud.
>>5757784
Good luck and godspeed, anon.
>>5749766
Rope is patience, and care, and ultimately aesthetically pleasing. Tape and quick ties, well kitten likes to struggle, without flailing her struggle turns to squirms. The time it takes to tie her is her surrender, her trust and love.Bondage for me doesn't take away her struggle it just keeps her safe while she does.
An unexpected kink moment is in the new game Middle Earth: Shadow of Mordor. On eo fhte ways you gather intel on the enemy is by finding the underlings of Uruk (think a bigger more badass orc) and then invading their mind. The main character will put his hand on a uruk and shout like like "Forfeit your mind!" or "Do not resist."
The game is good enough where I jumped in for the first time and gamed for 24 hours straight. The last game to do that was Alpha Centauri.
Now posting porn.
Morning all, i'm new here.
Long time lurker, first time poster. Ive been into bondage for a long time and recently had my first real experience with it! I hooked up with a girl who was looking to be dominated and i think i did a pretty good job.
I know now that i was completely right about bondage, i love it.
Not really asking for anything here, just saying hello.
>>5758019
Hello and welcome to the thread! <3
Bondage is pretty wonderful. Being tied down tight, and helpless, and safe is just the best thing ever! I've been challenging Mistress to bondage science lately, and it's been a lot of fun.
Experiments such as, can she lock cuffs on me and lock them together if I struggle from the outset? The answer was a resounding yes. But I blame my having been exhausted by a previous experiment and want a rematch!
>>5758051
Aye it is wonderful! Never tried being tied down, think it could be fun though?!?!
Downside is, i'm going to have to find someone new to play with
>>5758061
vanskor as in the dota player?
>>5758083
Balls, i knew that name came from somewhere!
Not him :(
>>5758061
It's the funnest!
>>5758100
It's okay! Long as no one else shows up using it too, it doesn't really matter! After all, I'm hardly the only person named Chloe in the world, but a name is just an identifier! <3
>>5758120
Somehow i doubt the real Vanskor will turn up here!
>>5758083
Do you play dota? if so, add me on steam "Raunchy Dave" i guess this is an open invite to any kinksters on steam.
>>5757784
best of luck, and remember to bring lube!
>>5757974
The thought of you saying "do not resist" while putting hand on someone's face is... compelling. Yes, i think i will use the word 'compelling' in order to make sure i stay lucid enough to go to work. aheh.
>>5758130
You never know. Some of the smallworldism has been ridiculous. Also welcome to the thread!
>>5758144
We did make a /bdsmg/ steam group at some point... i completely forget what it was, though.
>>5758261
>video game review
>compelling
lol
>>5758438
No, the thought of the described action in different contexts is what's compelling. Very different contexts. i have little doubt that Ghost will know exactly what i meant.
>>5758452
it was a joke on IGN over using the word compelling when describing video games.
It got to the point of being a meme.
>>5749766
No one specific reason really. But I have a few;
>1. I'm a bundle of nerves.
Being bound makes me feel safe from everything I fear because I know that to get to me those fears have to get past Mistress first.
>2. I feel safe in practicing.
That was hard to word but, in short, I feel safe knowing that the secret of me liking BDSM is shared by someone I can completely trust not to spill.
3. The rushes.
Adrenaline pumping and every sensation is more powerful? Yes, please!
4. The aftercare and cuddles.
I can act as timid and nervous as I want and she won't think less of me for it.
Also, Mistress proposed a playdate to me. She's got a pair of friends in a BDSM relationship coming back in town and wants a playdate as a "Welcome Home" party-type thing.
I've never been part of a playdate before, so I'm a little nervous. What should I expect?
>>5758634
The Spanish Inquisition
>>5758634
I would approach cautiously. Clarify what will happen in the playdate. Are you okay with being played with by people other than Mistress?
>>5758657
I don't think the world has enough lube for that again.
Aw gawd I saw something hilarious on facebook about one's girlfriend/boyfriend forbidding you to do something being a red flag and somehow makes your relationship abusive.
Top kek.
I find with the latest addition to the work of shinez that I don't have nearly so much "adorable BDSM" stuff as I'd like.
anyone got some?
>>5758707
some. but you can never have enough BDawwwSM
>>5758707
See, that sort of stuff is really really hard to find. I'll try.
Nothing quite yet, but I'll ask around.
>>5758713
>>5758707
If I was on my comp, sure.
I guess this is cute.
I do have some frankly adorable guro, but I can;t share it.
>>5758716
>>5758694
I've always been open to the idea. It's just that I get nervous any time I'm about to do something I've never done. But I'll get specifics on what Mistress and her friend have in mind. The other couple isn't coming back in town until Saturday so I've got time.
>>5758713
Speaking of BDawwwwSM...
>>5758739
That's good and sensible.
I've just had bad experiences with sharing. So I am now extremely cautious.
>>5758705
To be fair, though, there's a difference. In BDSM, that's a thing that quite a few people ask for and want to have. In relationships where that is not something that was discussed and desired as an aspect of the relationship, it's not really a good thing.
>>5758776
I know, but the person was making a claim about all relationships.
>>5758789
I don't know, since I don't know context, but they probably were talking about normal relationships. As in vanilla. Not that bdsm is a bad thing, but it's still not the norm.
Plus there's a difference between asking someone or someone asking you to have it happen, and someone just out of the blue doing it without permission. Which can apply to ALL relationships for the second one being not so good a sign.
>>5758739
love this, is there any more
>>5758897
Funny, I've never seen that picture before, only this one.
You're probably right. But it still annoys me when people scream that D/s is inherently abusive.
>>5758904
Is that what they intended? if so, yeah, I agree. If not, well, there's nothing wrong with pointing out a common red flag for abusive relationships. Remember, a red flag is not a black and white rule, it's a warning. And if it's consensual, they probably aren't talking about that.
I have a few more with that character.
>>5758931
>>5758750
Source?
now this is something i would love to have happen
>>5758931
Instant love for this image set, holy gods
>>5759071
Agreed. It's awesome as hell.
>>5758957
Kimio Tamako's "kawaii otouto o enema de ikuru hentai ni choukyou suru yo. "
iirc.
I found it under the aneros tag on LWB, though.
>>5759102
Thanks, found it. That image really got me off for some reason.
>>5759109
LWB is truly a gift from Slaanesh.
>>5758713
'BDawwSM' is a term I got to remember.
I draw and I think this is probably my most 'BDawwSM' picture I've done. (Probably something I should draw more of.)
>>5759149
really love your drawing ^_^
reminds me a lot of my GF XP
bump
>>5758707
I found a lot of BDawwwSM moments in the manga Nana to Kaoru.
P.S. - PleaseGod let BDawwwSM become a thing in the community. We need that.
>>5758019
Welcome to the thread! *nose boop*
>>5758454
>Out of curiosity where do you find these images?
>Its relevant to my fapping interests
usually on image boards. Here, 7chan, and R34.
>>5759349
totally just started reading this.... much thanks, can't stop reading
>>5759517
It's awesome. A good one for femdom is Sundome, but it's less bdsm-y (even if it has the aspects of it, it's less direct about it.) also involves piss, but not too much. Only a couple pages out of a decent sized series.
One of you have to know where this is from right?
>>5759646
you could try reverse image searching next time, took me literally less than the time its taking to type this post to find it. http://hentaifromhell.org/gallery1/[Perestroika%20(Inoue%20Kiyoshirou)]%20Kanako's%20Fluffy%20Diet%20(THE%20IDOLM@STER%20CINDERELLA%20GIRLS)%20[English]%20%7B5%20a.m.%7D.html
>>5759650
i wasn't getting anything from reverse image searching though.
>>5756243
Relevant to this point- are there any major issues with using hemp untreated other than getting fibres FUCKING EVERYWHERE? I love the biteyness of untreated hemp but I've ordered some and I'm not sure what I should do to it to retain bitey/nastiness but still look after it. I was thinking I'd just wash it for a shorter time and then carry on with drying/burning/oiling as usual?
>>5756871
Squidgy piggu. Do it.
>>5757563
Oy vey what a holocaust. I thought that might have been the case, I was really confused by your post. Honestly, I think being kinky, you have less to worry about there than most because PiV sex often isn't the 'main course' of a night in, as it were. I mean for me personally PiV is really underwhelming unless it's with someone particularly special (not looking at anybody in this thread nope nothing to see here) so most of the time I will get more excited about getting to beat the shit out of someone, have them go down on me and then wank them off than I will about actually having 'proper sex' with them. There's more to life than peen in vagoo.
>>5759650
Not him, but image search turned up nothing.
>>5759736
Those are some smexy mammals
>>5758750
hnng. right in the fetish
>>5759149
>>5759349
it's catching on... this pleases me.
>>5759738
no it clearly turned up tanks and Tasmanian tigers.
which is kinda amazing when you think about it.
>>5758454
>>5759502
Yep, all of this. The majority of my picture supply comes from..well, this topic actually. I also tend to look around at image sites because sometimes you find a really nice gem hidden away on page seventy-something on some search you make....welll worth it.
>>5759738
May need to change your search settings, cause it came up for me
>>5760038
Or maybe you could just believe that reverse image search doesn't give all of use the same results. It's been proved several times and since that person clearly didn't get any results, there's no need to assume they didn't try. This isn't /a/, we could actually be helpful.
>>5760092
That's fair, I noticed if I just reverse image search the thumbnail I got different tanks and animals but if I reverse image searched the expanded image it came up with a webpage that had the image on it.
So that does make a difference and I wasn't trying to say you're doing it wrong but potential parental settings or what have you would change your results
>>5759707
My ears were tingling.
If you don't treat the hemp it'll tend to die faster.
So I have more info about what the playdate will be like:
Apparently the couple coming in town are a lesdom couple with a bi sub.
My Mistress and her Queen (as the sub apparently calls her) will be domming both of us at the same time but each domme will have veto power with respect to their sub. In other words, if the Queen is fixing to do something to me that Mistress isn't okay with then Mistress can stop it.
It's also apparently an all day affair with the playroom available at all times. Now that doesn't mean kinky stuff nonstop from the start, more like sessions can start and end at any time at all.
Mistress even asked me not to worry about scarves. Keep in mind I wear my collar all the time, but usually conceal it under a scarf or the like in public. So when she says not to worry about scarves, it means we're not going out in public.
I think I'm going to enjoy my first playdate!
>>5759940
what i have done to build a lot of my database of places-to-check-when-i-get-around-to-it (rarely) is when someone posts an artist source, usually pixiv, browse their gallery, but also browse their favourites. that leads to finding other artists to have fun looking at, and then so do THEIR favourite,s and theirs, on and on etc until you have an oroborous of porn.
>>5760323
sounds like you're going to have a lot of fun! i can only hope everyone consents to a sharing of storytime!
Can we play a game? Reply with one word what you want done to you right now, context not necessary. Ill go first
Blindfold
>>5760675
Force
>>5759149
The art is eh, the concept is 10/10. Saved.
>>5760675
But what if you want to do...
choke.
>>5760663
Consenting to story time never seems to have been a problem when I'm the story teller!
I'll try and tell as soon as I can. Maybe not Saturday night, likely Sunday morning.
After that, it may be a problem. Me and Mistress will be going out of town on vacation and won't be back for a couple of weeks.
>>5760675
Candy
Boning
>>5760675
Control
>>5760675
Beg
>>5760675
Chastity.
>>5760675
sorry interrupting this game, to start /d/iscussion
I was thinking of topics.
Psychology of pain vs suffering and it's application to bdsm
Wittgensteins philosophy of language and it's application to bdsm, specifically in regards to communication of 'experiance' and development of 'the language of bdsm'.
The idea of the multiple self as described in Steppenwolf, and it's relation to the various roles we take on in bdsm.
But then I decided instead to start a discussion on how things from Spain are often sexy.
The music, the food, the dancing, the football, I'm pretty sure spanish mathematics would be sexy. So what kinky things that are vaguely spanish can we find?
>>5760680
I'm getting better and that picture was seeing if I could do lineart plus a single color. The concept I'll definitely revisit again since its taps into the feel good feeling I get looking back at the scars I'd get from play.
Time for something more recent I did.
>>5761074
I can't think of anything sexy about Spain particularly.
>>5761120
You know what's sexy? Antarctica.
- Every trip to Antarctica is an adventure.
- Every session with your mistress/master is (should be) an adventure.
Antarctica doesn't give a fuck. You either follow its rules or you get to fall into a 500ft chasm.
Hopefully your mistress/master doesn't throw you into a chasm, but you have to follow their rules too.
Antarctica can be a cold bitch, but it has so much beauty to it, too.
I think you get the idea now.
You can't tame Antarctica. You can only ask for permission to survive.
Etc.
Plus, I'm pretty sure taking a picture of a leather-clad slave girl on Antarctica hasn't been done yet.
>>5761120
>I can't think of anything sexy about Spain particularly.
the tango, the salsa, that thing they do with their r's.
Do you want me to bring out the wittgenstein?
>>5761268
>that thing they do with their r's
you mean lisp them?
>>5761268
They do have a few sensual things going for the Spaniards, but not says kinky. But then again, we all have are things that get ourselves going and if the tango does that for you.
The Spanish Inquisition on the other hand had a lot of fun ideas when it came to torture. Complex machines are always something that interests me.
>>5761120
>I insure you will not have that attitude by the end of this.
...now I have the mental image of this lady dressed as a door-to-door salesdemon, with an ear-to-ear grin, saying, "I insure 'You will not have that attitude by the end of this!' package. $40 or your money back!"
>>5761268
In terms of European countries, I think Czech Republic is super cute.
>dat accent
>dat history
>dat food
I just want to be able to call someone "má milá" (I've probably got that wrong)
>>5758261
Update:
Did a thing with, for lack of a better term (and a desire to protect her identity) the new girl. She got it in her head that she wanted to go swimming - so we went to a hotel with an indoor pool that was open late. Went swimming, then returned to our room and didn't sleep.
She tends to be subby, and me being a switch this is pretty cool. She also tends to be cute and blushy and shy at all times, even in bed, so my first Dom goal is to make her open up, at least to me.
This story is driving me mad! Every time I start working on it again I find something I don't like and change it. Also, THIS motherfucker has reached 20 GOD DAMN PAGES! Holy shit!
...I might need tomorrow's playdate more than I realized.
>>5761120
You have a tumblr or something? Might be worth taking a look at.
>>5761779
i 2nd this point
and will you do commission
>>5761162
i do know someone who got to spend 6 months at an Antarctic research base. So i'll guarantee that there's been BDSM play in antarctica, though there may or may not have been pictures of leatherclad slavegirls taken.
>>5761779
>>5761874
No tumblr, but do have a deviantart account (defilerzero.deviantart.com)
As for commissions, I do time to time.
>>5750464
you sir are living the dream. I envy you.
also: would post, on mobile
A little update from me.
I have a friend traveling to see me in two weeks time, we started out just casually having sex before realising we were both into bdsm.
So far we have not explored much, having only been together once since the realisation, just the simple stuff; restraints, gags, blindfolds, spanking, biting, dirty talking, orgasm denial ect.
She has said it herself then she is mine for two and a half days, so im in need of ideas...
What do i do?
Playdate time!
The other couple should be arriving any minute!
Talk to you guys again soon!
>>5762573
Have fun!
>>5762554
Do the most kinky and depraved thing ever.
Cuddle her.
Haha, well I don't have any real suggestions to be honest... but if it's a first for either of you, just keep in mind that a little can be a lot. Things like this can be very overwhelming, so take it slow and enjoy yourselves! <3
Also, seriously, cuddle her. Cuddles in bondage are the best.
>>5762580
We have been together once before doing this kind of stuff.
Cuddles are awesome! Last time i did that she dribbled on me though...
Long time lurker, first time poster here.
>roommate's going on holiday
>have any time at home alone next week (after and before work)
>want to get into some kinky shit
>have some female clothing, no toys and barely any materials (can't afford them either)
>can't for the life of me think of what to do
Anyone know any good sites for bdsm things you can do by yourself? I rarely get time completely alone, I want to make this special.
>>5762554
seconding Chloe. being tied up and held like a cuddle-toy and petted and such while just watching a mutually enjoyed movie, porn or not, is an amazing feeling.
for extra fun, add a vibrator with a remote and tease on changing the intensity around. wired remote is fine for while cuddling, after all.
>>5762583
when you gag someone, you get dribbled on. it's just one of those facts of life until total enclosure play is an option.
>>5762761
Get some lube and finger your ass while watching femdom porn and wearing the clothing. Save up for a decent-quality dildo.
>>5762856
None of that is my style. Sorry, but I didn't want specific things to do, I wouldn't mind sites with things to do.
>>5762886
Sorry, I misread your post. I can't really help you there.
>>5762831
I really like this idea, if only i had a vibrator.
Oh well, ill just have to get my hands dirty
>>5762899
http://www.lovehoney.com/product.cfm?p=20532
>>5762928
I might just look for one with a remote, this is going to be an expensive habit if im not careful isnt it?
>>5762941
You have -no- idea. Especially once you start getting into the really interesting stuff, and even more so if you pick up a colourscheme. Woe betide you start looking at stuff from Floggermeister or WickedWoods.
>three flight cases of toys
>drawer of rope and consumables
All my toys are blue on black, because it amuses me (and makes it simple to tell mine and friend's toys apart).
>>5762941
it's going to be an expensive habit even if you -are- careful. even if you learn how to do a lot by DIY. just less expensive in money and more in time. Worth it, tho. So worth it.
>>5762960
I totally agree about it being worth it, im kind of new, but i love what ive done and i love thinking of more stuff to do. bdsm gives me a boner, not like a penis boner, but like a heart boner if you get what i mean?
>out at a bar
>2:30AM
>alcohol briefly overpowers my awkwardness and start talking to a girl
>half hour later she starts kissing me
>intensely
>wut
>continues a while
>help her get to the train
>takes forever because she keeps stopping to kiss me a lot
>awkwardness makes a slow return
>we go our separate ways
>didn't get her number, or her facebook or anything.
I'm going to be single forever.
Need some advice /d/eviants
So I've been messaging a mistress who is looking for a sub, I sold myself a bit and she turned around and said:
>Ok well if your serious you need to prove this to me and then we can set up a meeting and go from there and see if there's a connection
However I finished my job contract today so I'm not in a position to pay her tribute like I think she wants, so I am trying to come up with alternatives to prove I'm serious in being her slave, and she told me she likes to be in total control so I thought I would put on my chastity device and send her one of the keys and stay with it on until we meet, perhaps.
At the very least I just want to prove to her I am serious, but it's tricky because she doesn't specifically say what she wants
Any ideas?
>>5763124
>tribute
she's a whore and most likely a shitty domme.
tell her to fuck off. do not encourage this behavior
.
>>5763124
>Doesn't specifically say what she wants
If she's worth her salt, she would have told you her intentions. Before diving into this (quite clearly) 24/7 relationship, think very carefully whether this person is right.
>asks you to prove yourself to her
Unless she says exactly what she wants you to do, and you're comfortable with this, I'd suggest that you don't do that. You have the fetishes/hard-limits talk FIRST.
If you're set on being with this person, ask her politely HOW you're to prove yourself. If you're okay with what she wants, do it. If she asks for money before your first meeting, I'd be wary. I've had no experience with Findommes so I can't quite give good advice here, but the general reputation they have is that of badness. Take it with a pinch of salt, though, there are probably many nice people who deal in financial D/s.
However, if she asks for a month of chastity or something like that, go ahead. Really, whatever's good with you.
>>5762941
I won't lie to you. Yes.
>>5763076
You should hang around that bar at around that time a little more. Maybe she'll show up again.
So I finally had a successful switching attempt. Holy shit, that was... different. Definitely fun, but also fucking weird. Pretty sure I prefer topping but I'm glad I actually managed to do it without freaking out this time. I guess it's just a matter of finding someone who has the right style to handle your freakouts.
I'm going to have BRUISES tomorrow! This is EXCITING!
>>5763331
Grats on discovering your subby side! Now you know how we feel.
If you're not too freaked out by it, I highly recommend electrotorture. It's a really novel sensation.
>>5763200
God I fucking hate financial D/s.
The fact that it's so hard to do without abuse must suck major ass.
Got a bit of a break so I thought I'd share a couple of highlights!
>Bondage Strip Fighter
Me and Mistress came up with this a little while back (like maybe two weeks ago). The couples play Super Street Fighter IV with the loser of each match stripping and past that getting locked in bonds. First some pentagram ties across the torso, then a chastity device, then leg straps, then a gag, and finally an armbinder.
The Subs lost (not on purpose, believe it or not) and the Mistress and Queen dragged us to the playroom (not literally). Where we did...
>Sub Fun
The Dommes laid us on our knees, undid the gags and demanded we make out as hot and heavy as possible while they watched. Not as difficult to do as you might think. My chastity cage was removed (even if I was gagged again) and the other Sub then got an open-mouth gag latched on her and was ordered to blow me. After I came Mistress ordered her to French kiss with her to share my jizz between the two of them (never forgetting THAT one). Queen planned to electrostimulate me (something I get really nervous about), but Mistress axed that in a heartbeat. She then cradled my head in her bosom while I shook in fear (mostly for show) and French kissed me to comfort me.
>>5763076
no, that's a sign you've got what it takes to interact with a girl, and spark sexual attraction.
Good ways to start a relationship. Just ask for her number next time, or give her yours.
>>5763331
so what type of switching?
From the description I'm assuming impact play.
>>5763417
I've heard of a few examples of findom that didn't fill me with rage, fear, or disgust.
But they all went the opposite way of the online findom you see so much.
Good ones go relationship->bdsm relationship->serious committed bdsm relationship->findom as an aspect of that bdsm relationship. And typically have safeguards in place.
Online ones put findom near the beginning.
>>5763485
fuck that's hot.
>>5763485
>and finally an armbinder.
>being forced to try and play games
Oh that's *evil*
>details
unf
Is there a specific mentality you need to have to be a good Dom?
>>5763200
I have hope that I'll see her again. Hopefully she remembers me. Probably will, we weren't blackout drunk by any means.
Also of relevance, she's 29, I'm (almost) 23. Didn't find that out til later though.
The bar/club we were at is for well.. the "alternative" crowd. Picture the club scene from the Matrix.
While I realize there isn't necessarily a correlation, I think there's a higher than average chance she's into BDSM on some level.
I gotta admit BDSM is a lot more common in those circles. At least, people are more open about it.
Here's hoping I can find her again and get myself a girlfriend (and maybe a sub too).
>>5763587
No, actually I didn't play the game when the armbinder came on. That was the point I was pretty much moved to the other couch to wait for the other couple to finish (had Mistress sitting in my lap with her arms around my neck so I wasn't bored).
>>5763124
If she's asking for tribute, and you're not after findom, 9/10 it's a scam.
Anyone have any awesome plans for Halloween?
Costumes, play parties, etc?
>>5763124
i'm red flagging somewhat at "prove you're serious about devoting yourself to me" BEFORE "see if there's a connection" but that's just me.
>>5763331
congrats! glad you had fun! storytime? hehe.
>>5763485
oooohhh... technically gaming in an armbinder IS possible if it's an open-tipped one and you've had practice. i can only do front-armbinder gaming, though. needmore training on my shoulders to be able to keep 'em behind for long enough.
>>5763731
Caring about others, caring about yourself, and being prepared to face nasties in your head and those you care about in order to have open communication be the norm.
>>5764087
i feel i need to point out that what he said was she asked him to prove himself, and he said "i can't pay tribute like i think she expects." He hasn't actually said anything about her asking for tribute.
Update time, so its two weeks until i see my friend. Problem is untill then im in a sort of self imposed chastity, i cant really masturbate until then so when i finally see her its going to be so hard to keep composed. How are you supposed to act like a good dom when you are so horny all you want to do is just pin someone down and fuck the shit out of them?
>>5764235
Well, it depends on what she's into. For me, that would be an awful dom (since by relying on your dick to think for you and not being able to control yourself is submissive/weak), but for some, they love the aspect of being overpowered and being fucked like crazy.
Before you do shit like that, maybe you should actually look into what she's into? I don't know, seems like common sense.
>>5764257
Well im pretty sure i can control myself.
She is massively into rough sex, but its been a while since we have seen each other so my plan was to tie her down and tease her for a few hours before any kind of sex/orgasms.
This is seriously annoying
I figured this would be a good place to ask this question... my girlfriend has shown an interest in experimenting with (rope) bondage. While I'm very interested in making this happen... unfortunately I don't really know what I am doing. Are there any good books/guides for beginners? Preferably a book that would have ties for both women and men.
>>5758983
Find a mommy dom. Cougars are usually very open to new ideas in my experiences. There is something so very perfect in being topped by someone who is comfortable in a leading position but still new to BDSM.
>>5762761
Imagination land. Seriously though, only you know what you want.
>>5762856
Yep. Save your money for a good glass toy.
>>5763126
I like you. This man knows.
>>5763331
Everyone remembers their first bruises.
>>5763731
Caring, and aware that BDSM is about the enjoyment of two people.
>>5764283
Well, do what you'll both enjoy. Honestly, if you want to control yourself, you'll be fine. If you're unsure, lower the chastity time. Do what works for you. Good luck!
>>5763731
Know what you and your sub want. Be that. Be kind, compassionate, empathetic, but if you like, you can add strictness and aggression as necessary or wanted.
And don't forget, make sure both of you have fun! however that may be.
>>5764358
The chastity isnt out of choice sadly
I'm considering doing stuff with Collarme. How bad of an idea is this?
Oh my God did I love yesterday's playdate! I wonder why I've never done one before...
Ah, well, MORE HIGHLIGHTS!
>Sub-Sub Macking?
Apparently thinking I was hitting on her kitten (apparently pulling a prank at the expense of Mistress and her fear of snakes was not wise; worth it), Queen enlisted the help of Mistress to hold me down and tie me in a way that made sure my ass was exposed but that I couldn't budge. Gag comes on, Mistress administers spanking, Queen berates me, and the kitten's off in the corner trying not to bust out laughing. I'd be mad if it hadn't been so hot.
>Going Feral
This was kind of a Sub Contest. Our respective Dommes told us to try and get the superior position. We asked what that meant and they said that they were going to turn us loose on each other to kiss and grab and grope as roughly and as animalistic as possible. In other words, we were going to get hot and heavy with each other while our Dommes scored us. But of course they locked us in chastity devices (which was fine by me because then I had absolutely no hang-ups about going wild on her) and set us loose.
I won. Don't know how since everything we did is kind of fuzzy.
I think I legitimately went a bit crazy for a second.
Dommes apparently loved the spectacle though.
>>5764494
It can be anything from disastrous to amazing. Be sane, remember safety. The site had a great influence to quite many famous submissives and dominants (of old times), but the vast majority has moved on to other sites. I heard the site had safety issues earlier this year, so I'd check what's going on there before acting.
But of course, collarme has a bad reputation. At least it had some years ago. The admins aren't always just, and I've heard there has been drama that got out of hands.
>>5764638
It was kinda nerve-wracking, I'll grant. But it started off as any other get together with us just sitting around and talking. It was weird baring my collar for people besides Mistress to see, but it grew on me. We were talking for almost 2 hours before our first moment of kinky fun time.
>>5764494
>Maniclaughter.gif
Collarme plz
>>5764294
the Two Knotty Boys books are our usual reccommendation.
>>5764597
feral sex-wrestling? This sounds like something that needs to be a more widespread sport!
