Reverse laser-vision
>>80781571
Reverse telepathy
>>80781571
Saying the word "fuck" makes you explode like the Tsar Bomba. You only get to use it once.
>>80781609
Is that everyone else can control your mind or you can control your own mind because the second one sounds great.
gale force flatulence
>>80781775
It's everyone can hear your thoughts
Being able to fit any item, no matter how large, into your anus
>>80781571
You're able to shrinkand that's it.
>>80781903
With all the giantess threads up right now some people might not find that one terrible.
>>80781812
OOOOOOOO yeah, that's rough. That is one of the worst.
>>80781812
wew lad
>>80781812
stop stealing ideas from Dexters laboratory.
>>80782024
Hah that's the part where he shoots himself in the head while cable is talking. Gg
Super speed, but without any of the required secondary powers that prevent you from tiring out/starving yourself to death/not being able to react fast enough to everything/having to use a long distance to slow down/getting heavily injured when you run in the rain/etc.
Being invisiblewhen no one is around you
>>80782100
You can't make me
the one where everyone forgets you if they arent looking at you
>>80782150
wow mystery men much?
>>80781571
the power to send your mind into a future version of yourself from 5 years, but you can't go back and you don't know anything your older self has done for the 5 years. Also the body will have a copy of your mind and live your life, not a coma sooo no easy explanation
>>80781812
If you were brainwashed/disciplined enough or had comrades who didn't give a fuck It could be pretty useful.
Imagine going on a stealth mission in perfect silence, broadcasting to the others in a predetermined code.
>>80782155
That could be both useful and a living hell.
>>80782205
Yeah but literally everyone can hear what you're thinking, including the enemy if they're in the vicinity
>>80782150
>never defined that robots can or can't see you
>burn fingers and feets so as to not leave a trail
>wait for it to be raining at night
>walk into nearly empty store with store clerk
>shoot his ass
>steal money
ez peasy
The ability to always know what to say, but you can only say it 30 seconds later.
Walk forwards get taller, walk backwards get shorter.
You like tumblr
>>80781571
The ability to spit fireballs from your genitals.
>>80782602
Some people already have that. It's called gonorrhea.
>>80782647
See it's indeed a terrible super power
>>80781812
>>80782602
>>80782647
Up in the sky, is it a bird, is it a plane? No it's Acid Piss Man
The power to shrink your penis permanently.
>>80782297
>>never defined that robots can or can't see you>burn fingers and feets so as to not leave a trail
I'm just poking fun, here, but do you encounter a lot of robots usually? Also, wearing gloves and shoes rather than burning your hands and feet sounds a little more practical haha. Wearing a mask would also work, instead of murdering someone. The guy wont be able to ID you, and the cameras wouldn't pick up on you until the guy is locked up in a closet or blindfolded (assuming that your invisibility to the camera is dependant on if the guy is looking at you or not.
>>80781812
That's great, imagine being able to internally scream as loud as possible. even better, remembering some really annoying song, and runining the day of everyone around you.
>>80781571
>>80782992
This was so retarded, she would literally be more dangerous if she had just carried a knife instead.
The ability to fly, but only in a force 12 hurricane.
>>80782992
>"Look at me, I've screwed blades to my fingers. Am I a supervillain now?"
Just terrible.
Reverse magnetism
>>80781571
Anti-Healing.
Your powers will do everything possible to keep you alive... but any injuries inflicted on you will be preserved.
Ex.
If your hand is cut off, you won't bleed out but your hand won't grow back.
If you take a shotgun blast, your body will rewire your blood vessels and organs to keep you moving, but won't seal up the gaping hole in your chest.
>>80783217
Is it strong enough to deflect bullets or just enough to be annoying?
>>80782992
>>80782850
>but do you encounter a lot of robots usually?
cameras/sensors I assume he meant
If no sensor could detect you so long as no person is actually looking directly at you, that'd actually be a pretty neat power.
>>80783034
The ability to fly, but only while aboard an airplane.
>>80781571
Reverse teleportation
The ability to read anyone's mind in a twenty foot radius, but doing so makes you violently piss and shit yourself for two minutes.
>>80782992
Seems like they'd be prone to breaking off and incredibly painful. Lemme guess... Heroes: Reborn?
>>80783553
Guess this works well in a porta-John during a big event. Or a public bathroom during a big event. Or in the woods, during a big event.
>>80783552
How does that work?
>>80783596
Professor X isn't a cripple, he just travels around on a custom made portable toilet for this exact reason.
>>80783611
I honestly don't know, I was just continuing with the reverse theme. Maybe it teleports everyone but you, or teleports a location to where you are now. Like, everything in a small area appears where you are now, so you can make a chair or carpet appear under you, or something.
>>80781571
Ability to dislocate all your bones at will.
>>80783556
Agents of Shield.
The ability to morph while it fucks up your nerve systems.
The ability to win any argument but only in 4chan
>>80783768
It'd either be you summon things or small parts of places to you, or you instantly stop moving.
First one could be cool, second one would get you killed what with the earth's rotation and such.
>>80782855
And then not trying to think about embarrasing things you did but failing and letting the world know how much of a sperg you are
>>80783915
But that's a good power
>>80782855
You know you're a villain right. Like a really shitty funny for one issue then forgotten about villain.
>>80783881
No fucking way.
They couldn't think of any cool powers?
>>80783553
>go to the school bathroom
>do this
>???
profit
or just use diaper
>>80783768
but thats awesome
imagine all the things you can steal that way
>>80783845
world best contortionist
>>80783915
but this is best power
>>80783978
I don't think it's more like they could afford any cool powers
The ability to perfectly transform into any object, getting rid of your physical brain and leaving you unable to think
>>80783978
Apparently it's not even a power. She just had them attached to her fingers surgically. I have no idea why, or why she's a character at all, though.
>>80782855
Couldn't you do that already by talking?
>>80783978
That episode was to show all the people Hydra!Shield had ruined by putting them in prison/24/7 monitoring.
The pointlessness of her 'gifted' status is literally a plot point. Naturally, everyone here uses it for shitposting fuel.
>>80784072
Your vocal chords have limits. Your mind does not.
>>80783553
empty your bowels and bladder before infiltration?
ability to morph into a jew on a nazi convention.
>>80783881
Ouch.
>>80781571
Ability to shrink and never in reverse.
>>80784125
But at the same time, the people around you are perceiving the 'sound' through their mind aswell, which while it doesnt have vocal cords, also doesnt have any of the sensitive parts in the inner ear that makes loud noises painful.
>>80783611
You can any where you don't want to
> take me to Hawai
> Damnit, its the dmv
When you get aroused even a little your clothes disappear
>>80784260
This would be terrible except the one in a billion times that it would be awesome
>>80784245
But is it the DMV in Hawaii at least?
>>80783934
>second one would get you killed what with the earth's rotation and such.
Isn't it gravitation that keeps things on earth rotating? Yeah it's a while since I did physics.
I never got this idea that stopping => force of gravity no longer applies to you. I've seen people imply time travel makes you immune to gravity too. I mean, if you applied this consistently, to all fundamental forces, all sorts of crazy shit would happen before you even get to gravity. With no more hydrogen bonding, your entire body would turn to a mush of gas.
>>80784148
In the case of complete evacuation the body internally pulls poop from another dimension to keep the flow going.
>>80784342
hahahah
>>80784329
Regardless, if you come to a complete stop and the earth does not, whatever is west of you if gonna collide with you at 1,040 mph
>>80784227
I guess I didn't think that they'd be hearing it in their minds.
That'd be confusing and fucked up for everyone involved. Especially since if your thoughts weren't being audibly broadcasted you wouldn't even know other people could hear you.
>>80782155
That's actually the power of one of the most chilling Doctor Who monsters. They manipulated humanity for centuries and helped cause the moon landing. But then they also had hypnosis powers.
>>80784322
Yes but the second you walk out you transport to Ohio
>>80784526
But then, is there really any such thing as a "complete stop" in absolute terms? I mean, if you're not stopped relative to the earth, then what are you stopped in relation to?
>>80784329
If some kind of cosmic force prevented any and all movement of your body, you might still be stuck to the earth through gravity, but you cant rotate with it anymore. Im not entirely sure what would happen, but i think it might be a bit like pic related.
>>80784647
That point in space.
>teleportation: instantly move
>reverse teleportation: instantly stop.
>>80781812
It's the plot of the manga Satorare
Some people have the power to broadcast their thoughts, but they don't know it. And people around them have to act like they don't hear their thoughts, in order to not cause them distress.
>>80781571
rapneno vision. Its like hypno vision that happens whenever you look into someones eyes. but instead of controlling their minds it just makes them convinced you raped them.
This happens automatically.
The ability to broadcast your voice through pieces of cheese.
>>80784830
But that is amazing
>>80784830
Fuck you. I could seriously make people on the Deli counter at work shit themselves. Plus I'd try a do a big booming voice as well.
Phase-shifting that makes you fall through the ground.
>>80785113
Poor guy on Batman Beyond
>>80781856
proxy paige seems to have this power
>>80781571
The ability to make any painful sensation inflicted upon you hurt 3-4 times more. It doesn't work if it's self inflicted.
The strength of two men, but not at the same time.
>>80782480
>tfw have this power already
>>80785209
but does that count the stamina too?
I'd imagine that'd be great for marathons.
>>80785221
i feel your pain, anon
>>80781571
Alright, OP. How about this? You have the ability to freeze time, including yourself
the ability to transform in a shota on a catholic church
>>80785113
>steal from a highrise
>descent until you hit the underground parking
>exit like nothing happened
It's like cutting out every heist scene by 80%
>>80785221
Shit man, I have it at like 2 days, how do I hone this power?
>>80785288
what, do you have like a trampoline at the bottom or what?
Also, you phase through everything, including your clothes.
>>80785259
No, just strength
>>80785278what if we already have this ability
>>80781571
Being able to make to make everyone extremely horny around you.even if you don't want to. Also you're impotent
>>80785364
Fuck.
>>80785364
So the sexual magnetism virus from Red Dwarf then?
>>80785364
that sounds like a shitty Korean or Japanese webcomic or something
The ability to speak any language, but never to people with the corresponding language to the one you're using.
Also the ability to see through anything, forever, so you're just blind.
The ability to induce nausea and vomiting within a mile radius, but only when reaching a sexual climax with another person. Everyone is affected.
>>80781571
Skunk powers
Like when you're in danger you just start farting in self defense.
>>80785381
>>80785386
>>80785400
Would it be worse if everyone was horny around you or for youstill with impotence
>>80781571
You have the ability to fly, but only on every second Tuesday, for ten minutes and youhave to let someone shit in your mouth for it to work
>>80785414
>but only when reaching a sexual climax with another person. Everyone is affected.
Worth it.
>>80785490
How one gets to discovering this power in the first place is quite the circumstance.
>>80785414
>The ability to speak any language, but never to people with the corresponding language to the one you're using.
So does that mean you can't even speak to people in your native language?
>>80784830
>Now, eat your mattress!
>>80785541
You could, but only if they don't speak it.
the ability to reset the day when you die,but you don't know that, and don't remember anything.
>>80781812
I would want this power. I would walk around thinking about how sad i am and people would pay attention to me.
>>80785481
in where i live it would be a fucking nightmare. I would just kill myself and if my powers haven't gone with my dying i would just be thankful i wasn't alive.
Still be good in some places, tho.
>>80785473
kek
>>80785626
will that person die again in that day?
>>80785626
This was pretty much exactly the plot of the best recent episode of Doctor Who, except a little it longer than a day
the ability of getting doubles
>>80785649
oooh good call the idea of your power still active even after your death. Shit, we're getting at some Crossed levels here.
>>80785695
shit I haven't watched the most recent season!
The ability to have your dick fall off.
And you can't reattach it.
>>80785703
You can almost win at every scratchcard game now
>>80785731
Shit man go watch it. It has 3 or 4 stories that I'd say are absolute best in many years, since it came back even. Consistent quality overall too.
>>80785755
>PTSD of that fucking hentai
>>80785755
do you still feel it?
And ejaculation?
>this thread
>>80785814
Nope, it'd just shrivel up.
>>80785144
Proxy's not even in the top three of her circle of friends.
She's got the cutest face though.
super adhesive skin
once you touch something it gets attaches to you 48 hours no mather what
>>80785692
According to chaos theory; maybe.
Does anyone here want to join the GLA?
unlimited hungry but limited stomach
>>80785473
I already do this
power to become a shadow but only in closed rooms at nigth
metal body.
once you turn in metal you cant move, nor breath nor go back to normal. Just become a statue of yourself
>>80785875
if you know somehow inside or you just think about that it was a real dream but once you are dying again you know all your deaths were real.
Hell, Bite the Dust sounds so innocent now.
>>80785896
It reminds me Famine episode in Supernatural. That would be just sick.
>>80782480
It'd be great for texting but that's pretty much it
>>80785817
>DWAYNE!!!
Perfect memory and recall,but it only works with the opening scene of The Dark Knight RisesBonus power: the rest of you memory gets steadily worse the more you use your recall powers
The power to turn invisible when nobody is looking at you and you're not being recorded by any cameras.
permanently turn into a lizard when you eat after midnight.
>>80785983
Well, at least you'll be remembered.
the power to poop only once a year but it comes out all at the same as a 60 pound load.
>>80786032
I already have this super power.
>>80786032
well that explains a lot
thanksbanepostingyou have literally ruined my life
power of making a random person somewhere around the world being attaked by a goose
The ability to make anyone fall instantly in love with you
It stops working the moment the person you used it on makes physical contact.
Power to turn your pancreas invisible for 10 minutes every week
power to confess your love to the girl you like unlimittles times but if she says something nice you jump back in time everytime and if she rejects you and break your heart time will go on
>>80782846
Looks like you actually have that power
power to hate people you dont even know
>>80785896
So... tapeworm?
The ability to sexually reproduce with ALL living things with immunity to contraceptives.
>>80783259
How the fuck is that anti-healing?
That's instant healing. You just don't get any Wolverine style regeneration.
>>80784086
>>>80783978
>That episode was to show all the people Hydra!Shield had ruined by putting them in prison/24/7 monitoring.
>The pointlessness of her 'gifted' status is literally a plot point. Naturally, everyone here uses it for shitposting fuel.
Wait, what?! Somebody posting on 4chan who isn't a fucking idiot?!
Knock that shit off!
>>80786334
Mida's touch
>>80786032
Excessive use of this power in the company of others who have it slowly alters reality to resemble that scene.
>>80786372
IMMUNITY
TO
CONTRACEPTIVES
CONDOMS
INCLUDED
The power to shapeshift into any species
OF BALLOON ANIMAL
>>80786410
that was more of a response to
>The ability to sexually reproduce with ALL living things
you know someone will fuck a horse.
>>80786357
S-sorry t.b.h. familiar senpai
>>80784329
>Isn't it gravitation that keeps things on earth rotating? Yeah it's a while since I did physics.
...yeah.
Earth rotates because of the primordial supply of angular momentum left over from when it underwent gravitational collapse.
It was a LOT of energy, like, enough to lift the mass of the Moon around a hundred thousand miles.
And even that well of energy is piddling nothing compared to the gravitational binding energy of the Earth.
>>80786416
>>80784626
>>>80784322
>Yes but the second you walk out you transport to Ohio
...dammit
>>80783611
just look at Ryoga Hibiki.
>>80785286
>the ability to transform in a shota on a catholic church
>the ability to transform in a shota
>transform in a shota
...transform into what?
Also, pervert.
>>80786416
That's a fetish in some circles.
From National Lampoon
>>80781967
>You can't grow back
>>80784322
Nope, Russia
Every time you sneeze or yawn a thousand dead people rise from the grave.
Also you have hay fever and partial narcolepsy.
Worst power ever?
Everybody you love, even a little bit, falls in love with somebody else.
The ability to view /mu/ at any time.
>>80783552
Telelporting to where you already are
>>80786634
There was a famous parody hero named Gazman (literally Fartman) in Turkey. I don't miss those ''nostalgic'' days...
>>80786634
Pretty sure there was a movie about a kid who could fly through fart powers.
>>80786726
Thunderpants.
>>80783315
>try to grab your keys
>they slide along the table and fall to the floor
>take fistful of change out of your pocket
>open hand to pay for something
>money ejaculates into your face
>>80786726
thunderpants?
it was on best of the worst.
>>80786704
But I already have that power.
>>80785755
DETACHABLE PENIIIIIIS
>>80786744
>>80786754
That's the one, never saw it because I hated fart jokes as a kid.
>>80785755
That's not an ability. That's an injury.
The ability to make people trip on LSD on contact with your skin.
And you can't turn it off.
>>80786890
You could get someone literally addicted to your touch.
>>80783217
Reverse magnetism is magnetism
>>80786890
No problem.
Basically Wolverine, except you can only extend a single adamantium claw out of your dick.
>>80786929
>addicted
>to LSD
That's like being "addicted" to weed.
>>80786948
>The Lust kill from Se7en
>>80786055
the metal is Cesium and it just started raining
Dont feel pain is a real life terrible superpower
The ability to draw or paint anything perfectly.
But the image has to involve the fetish that disgusts you the most.
>>80787047
Anyone who sees that is not going to forget it.
The ability to turn into any super hero, but only if you can make a thread on /co/ about that hero where everyone is kind and respectful to each other.
>>80786989
Psychological addiction anon.
Your hands become feet
>>80786451
damn physics you crazy
>>80787161
Just run at people and scream. There's bound to be some amusement in that.
>>80786941
in the thumb, looks like that dude has a schlong all the way to his knee
>>80786890
>Wake up
>Covered in hippies
>>80786054
yum yum
The ability to instantaneously exchange pants with anybody.
>>80787507
Buy a bunch of cheap shitty pants, go to a rich area, swap pants with anyone wearing designer pants, sell pants for a profit.
>>80782199
this
>>80786634
There has been quite a few fartmen.
The ability to be able to hear the sexual thoughts of those closest to you including your grandparents.
the power to teleport to anywhere, but it takes you into a completely random location and it doesn't teleport your clothes with you
>>80787507
instantaneously? Damn. Does their stuff stay in the pockets?
>>80781571
The ability to make anyone do anything you DONT want them to do.
>>80781571
HAVE YOU GONE NUTS? LOIS WOULD NEVER WANT-
>>80787690
Any possession in either pairs of pants are sent to a pocket dimension inaccessable to you.
>>80785983
perfect way to kill yourself in the event you get locked up
The power to make anything smell minty fresh at the price of you smelling terrible for an hour after its used.
>>80786468
>working in outer heaven
>helping big boss prepare for solid balloon snakes arrival
>One mission: Protect the big man
>see friends suddenly fall and a gun shot is heard
Squeak
>start crying
>BANG
The ability to be permanently lighter than air.Anything you wear or carry becomes lighter than air as long as you have it on you.
>>80786372
sause plz
Dick fingers
>>80781571
The ability to make anyone and everyone explode into blood and guts by just looking in their general direction. You have no control over this.
You get hyper intelligence, but the solutions never come to you when you're presented with a problem.
>>80786948
is it clean and painless or bloody and painful, cause if it's the first than fuck a person you're trying is assassinate, lace your urethra with a deadly poison and inject them. if it's the second than if anyone tries to pull a Superior Spiderman and take over my life than they get a fuck you from me to them
>>80788308
use a blindfold and use this as the ultimate assassination to a president or world leader, than have friends to get you out of there while you put the blindfold on. Or become Daredevil with the Ghost riders stare ability.
The ability to fly, butit stops working if someone can see you
Whenever you pee it flies up into your face.
>>80788503
"Look, up in the sky! Its a man, falling! I swear he looked like he was flying! Everybody, look!"
>>80783915
But I already have that power
>>80786032
Literally all of /TV/ has been suffering from this power for 3 years now
>>80788750
No you don't
>>80788941
Yes I do :^)
The power to withstand any outside force. And redirect it to anybody else but you. The person you direct the damage to has to be one of the same genetic match to each of your chromosomes.
Regenerative powers but they only kick in when you're uninjured
>>>80789152
Our body does this already over time.
The ability to regrow a limb but it's never the same limb
heat vision but it only works 2 inches from your face
>>80789203
So I just hack off the regrown limb and it will regrow again into the proper one.
>>80781571
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3n04AY0XCfE
>>80781571
Self suicide inducement.
>>80781571
Invulnerability to the damage cased by lemonade on your eyes. You still feel the pain.
>>80789237
>never the same limb
son I have bad news....
>>80789408
Specifically lemonade, or any acid-based irritant?
>>80789016
by god he's done it
You can shapeshift into animals, but your mind is changed to that of an animal's too
>>80781571
The ability to transfer your most embarrassing thoughts and memories to another person upon eye contact.
It can't turn off
Spontaneous Involuntary Regeneration of damaged body parts through contact of the same part on another person (as in the same area).
The problem here is:
A) The person has to be alive. Touching a dead body will fuse necrotic flesh onto your injured area. Enjoy your gangrene.
B) You must come in contact with the specific part of the body that you want to heal. Like if you get shot, touching the skin only heals the skin over the gunshot wound.
C) Touching same kind of flesh, but in a different area, does nothing.
D) Regardless of your success, touching someone kills them instantly.
E) If you come into contact with someone while you have no injuries, you will develop cancer in the area you came in contact with. So most likely skin cancer.
the ability to shoot onions out of your hands
>>80782565
Sidestep and get fatter.
Handstand and get...?
>>80786176
crazy nudes though
>>80789517
Now you say transfer, does that mean I won't have them anymore?
Cause I could live with that.
>>80789480
specifically lemonade and only your eyes
