Why is she so festive?
Santa Claus kidnaps children and rapes them, and the constant pumping of semen into them turns the kids into festive Christmas elves.
>>78257042
The Christmas spirit is the only thing that can get her off anymore.
>>78257076
Don't cut yourself on that edge, Morrison. Don't you have another issue of Klaus to make?
Mabey because she's an elf anon
>>78257244
Maybe because Tiny eats pussy like a starving dog.
Fucking adorable.
>>78257042
It's her fetish.
>>78257042
penis
At her weight, caffeine has roughly the same effect as alcohol has on an adult human. She's basically drunk off her ass.
It's against Elf Law to not be festive.
Failure means a demotion to cookie elf, then shoe elf, then aloof Tolkein elf.
>>78257115
>Klaus
>edgy
>Morrison
>EDGY
HOLY FUCKING SHIT IF YOU MISS THE POINT ANY MORE YOU'D FUCKING KILL INNOCENT BYSTANDERS YOU DUMB ILLITERATE RETARD
>>78263388
>IMMA MAKE SANTA CLAUS A BADASS MOUNTAIN MAN WHO HUNTS DEER AND FUCKS BITCHES
>not edgy
Morrison has apparently reverted ti the mindset of a ten year old. And you're defending him. Pathetic.
>>78265243
>IMMA MAKE SANTA CLAUS A BADASS MOUNTAIN MAN WHO HUNTS DEER AND FUCKS BITCHES
Except that's how life worked in the past, dude can't fucking buy groceries. The origins of Santa Claus are shamanistic, he wasn't some fat old jolly bastard until the Christians reinvented him.
Also, fuck bitches? Dude tries to help a kid, gets chased out of town, has a dream vision and he made toys ffs. No bitches were involved except for the baron's miserable wife, and he doesn't even MEET her.
You are too fucking dumb, illiterate cunt.
>>78265984
>Except that's how life worked in the past, dude can't fucking buy groceries. The origins of Santa Claus are shamanistic, he wasn't some fat old jolly bastard until the Christians reinvented him.
You act as though I'm supposed to give a shit. Nobody aside from MUH REALISM edgelords wants to read a story about mountain man Santa Claus, because it's a stupid fucking premise regardless of historical precedent. The existence of this book only serves to prove that Grant Morrison is a hack who needs to stop making comics.
I bet you're one of those cunts who somehow gives a shit about the Krampus. Fucking hell.
>>78260428
Except that caffeine is a stimulant and alcohol is a depressant.
>>78263388
......dude, this is a thread about christmas elves
>>78260428
>I'm underage and never did anything but drink monster energy drinks
please go experience somethings before you talk about them.
>>78266052
>I bet you're one of those cunts who somehow gives a shit about the Krampus. Fucking hell.
Ha ha! Sounds like someone has a meeting with the ruten every year! Better stock up on schnapps, buddy.
>>78266181
>implying I drink
You can keep your poison and your garbage folklore.
>>78266203
How do you feel about African folklore
>>78266203
>>78266052
You are a sad, projecting little bitch. Reboots get your panties in a twist too, huh? Want to cry about your precious interpretation which is obviously soooooo much better?
Fuck you, I hope you have the shittiest Christmas ever. You deserve it, you fucking grinch.
>>78266273
Apathetic. I don't know any African folklore, and I don't care to learn any.
You got a point you wanna make, or are you just asking insipid questions because it makes you feel tingly inside?
>>78266308
Yes it makes my whittle goobergaty mra dicky wicky harder.
Nah just love how you nerds freak out over the little things
>>78266306
There is nothing appealing about edgy Santa Claus. The fact you think the idea has merit is sad and pathetic.
>>78266339
>calling me a nerd
Throw as many insults at me as you like, you're still defending Grant Morrison and shitty folklore.
>>78266425
Nah farm I'm just passing threw but I did like multiversity. And the thing about Santa being a secret badass has been around since the 30s
>>78266447
>I did like Multiversity.
Kill yourself.
>And the thing about Santa being a secret badass has been around since the 30s
That doesn't make it in any way acceptable, you fucking moron.
How'd this turn into a "Let's shitpost about Morrison" thread?
>>78266500
Dubs. But seriously get laid
>>78266531
>having an opinion is shitposting
4chan is the biggest hugbox on the web.
>>78266549
>don't like a shitty idea for a shitty comic
>HURR GET LAID
Maybe if you focused less on all that sex you'll never have, you'd be able to gather your thoughts enough to form your own opinions instead of conforming to the group think. Dumbass.
>>78266594
>Uses the term 'hugbox' for majorities that disagree with them
And that's it, every bit of credibility you had left is fucking gone. You're a bitter little cunt, and I genuinely hope you develop cancer.
>>78266594
Jesus man I bet you post wagekuck thred
>>78266644
>implying the majority of people want an edgelord Santa Claus
Oh wow. Try going outside sometime, dweeb.
>You're a bitter little cunt, and I genuinely hope you develop cancer.
What's the matter, can't take the heat? Then get out of the oven you stupid little bitch.
>>78266561
nice
>>78266531
two neck beards hatejerking eachother off
>>78266695
>IMPLYING IT'S EDGY
You fail at reading comprehension. Get on with the cancer, comfyfag.
>>78266890
The fucking cover has Santa Claus hefting a deer carcass over his shoulder in a dark forest.
That is indeed edgy.
>comfyfag
Your desperation is both amusing and pitiable.
>>78266949
Your definition of edgy is pathetic, seriously. Oh no, he hunted for FOOD. What a badass! And he's feeding his pet wolf, oh no! Too grimdark for me, man!
Fucking baby.
>>78267003
>Oh no, he hunted for FOOD.
Maybe he ought to get a job and go to the local market like a normal person.
And who the fuck has a pet wolf? Santa's pet wolf an original part of the lore? This is some fanfic level bullshit.
>>78267167
>And who the fuck has a pet wolf?
Shitloads of people, brah. You never had a pet wolf? Fucking pleb. I bet you still get excited about cats.
>>78267003
Yeah, the real edgy thing about Klaus is the whole "Elves are just peyote visions he has and he decides to make toys because he's high as balls".
And really outside that, all Klaus is shaping up to be is just a gritty fairy tale remake version of Santa Claus is Coming to Town. William Joyce did the young warrior Santa thing better in his Guardians of Childhood books or at least he was a little more original with it, presenting Santa as a ex-cossack bandit king with a soft spot for kids and that's what starts his change of heart when trying to rob a hidden magic village only to first encounter nightmare king PItch threatening innocents
>>78266949
>hunting for food is edgy now
edgy as a term has just lost all meaning holy shit
>>78267345
>Santa as a ex-Cossack bandit king
Speaking of peyote...
>>78267345
If 'drug-induced visions' is the edgiest thing about Klaus, then that's fucking tame. Especially from Grant 'I shit out horror ideas for fun' Morrison.
I don't get why people think Grant of all people is 'edgy'. Guy orgasms at the thought of making the world a brighter place with RL heroes.
[Christmas In-tinsel-fies]
>>78267584
>Grant 'I shit out horror ideas for fun' Morrison
>I don't get why people think Grant of all people is 'edgy'.
Do you know what the word 'contradiction' means? Retard.
>>78266074
Love this one.
>>78263388
It is, tho
>>78266644
>>78266890
>actually wishing cancer because of morrison
Grant would be dissapointed, my dear edgy friend
>>78267706
>Doing things for fun
>Edgy
Herp a derp derp da diddly derp. Go look in a mirror and weep, mongol.
>>78268578
>retarded concepts like Mother of Champions and the Super Young Team
>fun
If you suck your master's Scottish cock too much, you'll choke on it.
>>78266052
Jesus christ, you're sad.
