mormon no more. Don't talk about it. Basically, never had tea nor coffee.
Wanna try that stuff with caffiene. Tea and coffee.Yeah. Breakin' all the rules here.
What do you guys recommend for a first-timer?
>>7799359
Suck on a fat cock, faggot
Then kill yourself
>>7799359
Why did you leave the Mormon faith?
>>7799359
Go get a french press medium roast from starbucks for entry-level shit. Then go into the bathroom, suck a fat cock, and kill yourself.
I recommend you try a little of everything, such as fat cock and hairy cock.
Get you some Yunnan noir tea, some medium roast coffee from Trader Joes or Starbucks if you live in flyoverville. Pop over to your local gay bar and suck on some fat cocks for a bit
>>7799359
Hm. For coffee, I would say go to a grocery store and buy a bag of Peet's coffee. Just get pre-ground for now. A lot of people like Major Dickason's blend. If you see a lighter roast, you might like that better. Don't get whole bean for now. If you end up not liking it, there's no need to have bought a grinder and all that jazz. Know that whole beans ground right before you use them taste better though. Buy a pack of #4 paper cone filters, too.
I recommend doing a good old-fashioned pour-over because you probably don't need to buy any other shit.
1. Put a 12-16 oz. mug on the counter, place a metal or plastic kitchen funnel in it, and line the funnel with the paper filter.
2. Measure out 6 Tablespoons of ground coffee into the filter.
3. Boil a pot of water, then remove from heat for about 20 seconds. This'll get you pretty close to optimal extraction temperature.
4. Pour just a little hot water on the grounds. Just enough to get them wet. Stir it around with a spoon, stick or whatever to ensure they're all wet. Then cover the hot water pot so it strays the same temperature, count to 30 to let the grounds "swell". Repeat pouring hot water over the grounds until the cup is full. That's it.
Drink it black, add cream, add sugar. Do whatever you want. I usually drink it black or add a splash of half & half. If you like coffee, then sift through the countless dorky coffee snob shit all over the internet, learn and hone your coffee lore.
Coffee: espresso
Tea: chifir (russian prison tea) https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Chifir%27
>>7799359
Have a mocha.
You could always get a krieger! Those work pretty well, but I wouldn't recommend it without a firm supply of supple fat cocks.
>>7799359
Go to Starbucks and get a drip. None of that sugary fatty shit.
Something from a nice third wave cafe, pourover is probably safe, but espresso too if it's a really really well respected place. I'd recommend an African coffee, I especially like Kenya and Burundi.
>>7799383
I kept getting fondled during the meetings,. Had no choice really but to leave
Tea idk, but coffee you should try out stuff from africa. I have some Ethiopian stuff right now that's great. You could also just start with mcdonalds coffee just to get an idea of what mediocre coffee tastes like compared to better stuff.
Also try adding brown sugar if it's a little too much for you at first.
>inbox fat cucks
Oh wait..
>>7799892
If this is op and not just a shit poster that's sad man, sorry to hear that.
As far as coffee goes, I'd recommend trying just a regular coffee at first, add cream and sugar if you don't like it black. You can find coffee at any small diner or family restaurant, buy it at the store, chain coffee places (I'm not sure whats the most popular in the US, probably dunkin donuts or something..) even Macdonalds sells coffee.
Then once you get a taste for it, start getting into different types of coffee, styles of coffee, trying more extravagant drinks.
To be honest, I'd recommend going to the store and doing what this >>7799411 anon suggested.
>>7799359
A nice french roast coffee.
>>7799974
Don't do this if you want to taste anything.
>>7799359
Get a Latte or a Mocha from Starbucks or something, I guess.
Just thinking of the shit I got as a child when my mum would order coffee after a meal that wasn't too strong for me.
>>7799359
This shit. This is what got me into drinking coffee black, it's so fucking good. This brand/restaurant is the best thing my state has ever produced.
Order it now.
>>7799359
for tea, twinings is ok for grocery store stuff, i like their english breakfast and lady grey. e/b is bolder, l/g is smooth and kinda citrus-y
if you'd like to try a lot of (loose leaf) teas in sample quantities both adagio and upton tea are good places to start
>mormon
How many kids do you have?
I used to live next door to a mormon family, and the master bedroom was right outside my window, so I'd hear non stop baby crying when I'm trying to sleep, because they'd have a kid every nine months. They eventually had to move because there was no space for their 15 kids in their house.
>>7801497
Where do you get that? Only Cafe du Monde I ever see is the shit with chicory in it. Guess it's a moot point, I can get Cafe Bustelo or some other shit for like $3 vs $8 for Cafe du Monde, and it tastes just as good as any shitty coffee (which does have its place as Cafe du Monde proves).
>>7801497
>chicory
>>7801977
I'm gay.
>>7801497
French Market > CDM
YERBA MATE
ITS
SO
GOOOOD
>>7799359
Please tell me, how do I turn one of your fellow females to the dark side?
>>7799359
green tea man
>>7799359
Get yourself a 3-cup/12 oz french press, hario skerton, and any ol' beans. Get water on a stove in your kettle or even just in a sauce pot on the fire to boil; if you're not a pleb and have an electric kettle, use that instead, bonus points if its variable temp. The water should be in the 205F degree range for french press, but I wouldn't sweat water temp just yet. Grind 21 grams of beans to a coarse grind: the grind should feel like a coarse kosher salt between your fingers. Some people fill their french press up half way with hot water to pre-heat it so that it can retain heat better, but you need not do this, but if you did, dump the pre-heat water out before adding your ground coffee. Add you ground coffee into the french press, add your water off a boil (I'd wait 10 or 15 seconds after turning off the heat, but you'd be fine just using the water straight off the heat desu) into the french press (stirring optional), steep for 4 minutes, plunge slowly, and decant into your mug or other serving vessel.
It might sound like a lot, but I just went into wordy detail. Tl;dr get french press, grinder, coffee beans; throw ground coffee in press; throw in nearly boiling water; wait 4 minutes; and serve.
As for beans, I'd get whatever "blonde" roast from Starbucks. Their medium roast is probably ok but it might give you the idea that all coffee is that bold and overly roasted. Happy Mug is a really awesome site that delivers coffee roasted to order. I'd get order whatever coffee from their site besides decaf or flavored. If you get a light roast, beware that it might taste bright, acidic, and "un-coffee" to you since you're a newbie, but that might not be a problem since you've never had coffee.
Milk tea or pearl tea.
Get some of that japanese goodness.
>>7801342
>didn't say I was a Catholic
Roman Catholic here - I lol'd
Seriously though coffee is pretty sweet - have you considered trying booze? Booze rules
Also I'm a gay too - but God doesn't care that I'm gay
>go on date to monastery
>talk about how God doesn't care I'm gay
>we sit on a bench together in a light but comfortable drizzle
>DOUBLE FUCKING RAINBOW OVER THE HARBOR
>we both are like "AAAAAAAYYYYYYYYYYYYYY"
>mfw God doesn't give a shit that I'm gay
>>7802738
If you live in LA, why are you buying CdM rather than superior in every way Community? Don't get me wrong, CdM is good, but Community is infinitely better.
>>7804876
That's beautiful, man
>>7804876
So, then you blew eachother, right?
>>7804953
Because CdM and French Market are both infinitely better than CC
>>7805087
We'll agree to disagree, then. I far prefer CC, but if you like CdM, by all means, drink it.
unsweetened iced black tea with a big lemon wedge and a straw
black coffee with cream
>>7799359
dont even fucking bother caffeine is addictive you will need it every day of your life if you start
>>7806382
Aww little baby never learnt how to moderate?
>>7799359
>>7799359
One of those icecream coffee that starbucks and others sell to adults who refuse to grow up
You are going to hate coffee if you are not slowly introduced to it. I started drinking coffee at 7 dumped with milk and a couple drops of vanilla that grandma made me
>>7799359
>a gay mormon
well that's somehow cruel
anyway
It really depends on what are you expecting. I'm a teafag so I'll focus on this. First, don't buy tea from a supermarket, it's not worth it. Go to the teastore and they'll let you see the leaves of tea itself, you'll be able to check the aroma etc. I would reccomend some low-tier japanese green teas like the most common types of sencha or bancha. For a black tea, you can start with african ones, or try some of the classic european mixes like english brekfast.
Anyway, what could you drink as a Mormie?
>>7804969
How I heard this post:
http://youtu.be/y5T96LHnEWw
>>7804978
No we just kissed. Being gay is hard dude, I actually gave up on it and started dating girls again. I'd just rather compete in the established marketplace even if I have to make compromises, that being said I want a guy to fuck me like all the time
>>7806319
God being gay only comes out in the Old Testament where he's a needy little bitch and harasses desert people just to make himself feel better. I can see him being a really self adsorbed femmy Queen
Seriously though coffee is okay but get a dang Budweiser, you'll like it, it's just like a dad soda. Speaking of which have you had a real Coke? Not a caffeine free one
>>7807047
Ofc 9shit would be promoting this absolute meme coffee.
