Post only the finest of material ITT
>hey gurl, I can cook, I'm Italian
>>7208367
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-RNmINEsN6U
>>7208378
#rustic
I find the excessive hashtagging of every single thing imaginable to be the most disturbing. Twitter is worse than the Holocaust.
>>7208391
classic
>>7208388
>bae is a nigger
>>7208391
that's actually quite amusing
I would ask if at least some of this stuff is ironic but i think i already know the answer
>>7208410
Looks delish.
>>7208382
those hastags
>>7208374
holy fuck, 10/10 post..
how the fuck did you pull that oddly specific rugrats reference from the deep recesses of your mind?
what is it with these bitches and kraft singles fuck.
>>7208441
Watched it earlier, I love Tommy Pickels.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=K-PKO2FrdPY
>>7208443
I have no idea, because in my grocery stores a decent sized block of cheddar costs barely more than a pack of those stupid Kraft singles.
This is what happens when women are allowed to leave the kitchen for extended periods of time. That sort of shit would catch the mother of all beatings in the 1940's. Imagine serving this fucking shit to their husband after a long day at work? He'd split their head open with the frying pan.
Bing Crosby was right; the ever-present threat of domestic violence kept families together.
>>7208440
>fried eggs
>whites cooked to almost nonexistent
>single on toast
>>7208464
>that stove
HOLY FUCK DO YOU EVEN CLEAN BITCH.
THAT IS DISGUSTING. LOOK AT THAT SHIT, IT'S ALL OVER THE WALLS TOO.
>>7208464
The look of anguish on his face when he tastes it...
>>7208464
>when she dumps in the entire bottle of water
every time
>>7208464
>he can't even look her in the eyes
>>7208464
>hotdogs
>singles
>water
Why does this exist?
>>7208440
>those eggs
what in the actual fuck, how do you fuck up fried eggs?
>>7208488
At least the beats were funky.
Get some Todd in your life...https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=L-cjks01GqE
>>7208388
At least she knew to get Cane's
>>7208388
>Posts an oreo
>made dinner
>made
>a fucking oreo
This can't be real
>>7208496
Not my pic, but I actually like them kinda like that. I can fry an egg normally for others, but when I make them for myself I pretty much cook the white as much as possible without cooking the yolk.
I..is Ja/ck/ the ultimate wifey?
>>7208388
id ravage that actually
>>7208367
>stu
>>7208382
>al kraft
lol
>>7208741
I'd ravage you.
One question from a yuropoor.
This is some kind of a sick joke right?
Yunno I'm Polish and polish national food revolves somewhere between brit-tier and pig-disgusting save for pierogis so my "wifey" expectations aren't that high but the stuff posted in here is just fucking horrible.
>>7208764
"The ghetto" does exist
We americans love our income inequality. How else are we going to motivate the immigrants
![[MystVortex] Gekkan Shoujo Nozaki-kun - 05 [720p][AAC].mp4_snapshot_03.40_[2015.12.15_18.03.26].png](https://i.imgur.com/II8NKvh.png "[MystVortex] Gekkan Shoujo Nozaki-kun - 05 [720p][AAC].mp4_snapshot_03.40_[2015.12.15_18.03.26].png")
So fucking glad my mum taught me how to cook when I was young.
>>7208775
Post a few pictures of food you've cooked to keep your man.
>>7208741
How fat are you?
Dennis is wifey af:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4dFtWl5eD88
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4dFtWl5eD88
>>7208798
What is he saying?
Is that some kind of salad dressing and curry cubes with a garnish of food pellets from the zoo?
This is all just self-depricating humor right lads? Right?
>>7208409
Quite like this one actually. It's dumb, but cute. Like Japan's silly octopus sausages.
>>7208805
Damn. I wanted to post two different videos....
Rough transcript :
"The surprise with chocolate:
Welcome. Today we'll be making a surprise.
For that we have mixed yogurt [Fruchtzwerge, yogurt for children, different flavours mixed together] and spoonfull of cocoa powder.
And out of this choclate we will create the shape of a heart. Oh, and three candles.
[...]
And let's add some chocolate corn flakes.
Now we light up three candles.
And the surprise is ready. Have fun making it on your own, the recipe will be in the video description"
And here's another one. Extreeemely wifey:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4HMskH0TTJY
"Welcome to my video.
Today we make some roast potatos.
We need potatos, salt, leek, oil, garlic and pepper.
Let's go!
I put the potatos in water and now I cut them into slices
You can cut them into whatever you want, pieces, slices, whatever.
Meanwhile put some oil into the pan
...
Now for the leek. Normally you use onion or red onion, but I don't have any, that's why I use leek.
Thin slices
Let's go to the pan!
The pan has heated up
Now we add the potatos and the leek
Meanwhile I cut the garlic into slices [off camera]
Now you add some salt and pepper
Now you have to wait until they turned brown
[...]
Smells great! Looks super tasty!
A fast recipe!"
It's like HowToBasic but not meant as a joke. This guy really thinks he can cook
>>7208843
>translating that bullshit
is that you creeperdarkos?
>>7208849
Nah. Just bored
>>7208741
are you a black man?
>>7208464
>his smile and optimism: gone
>>7208845
yep we really care anon
>>7208501
sound like chopper reed lmao
>>7208845
shut up bitch
>>7208982
The women are. The men sit around drinking brandy.
She's always a woman to me.
-- Billy Joel
WHAT IS ALL THIS DEGENERACY?
>>7208382
this has to be satire
>>7208761
same
>>7208874
It's a chubby asian girl.
>>7208382
Okay now I'm mad.
>>7208373
>those cucumbers
Britfags trying to eat healthy
I am sure they taste fine tho.
>>7209198
That's really not even that bad.
once i got locked up overnight (more like 2 nights) and the only thing they gave us was some bread with cheddar and a packet of mustard, but damn if that didn't hit the spot.
i make that shit all the time now. i'll throw it in the toaster oven for a bit since i have the luxury, being a free man.
sometimes the simplest meals are the best.
>>7208391
I wanna list all the reasons this is stupid, but a small, dark voice in the back of my mind keeps saying, "That's fucking brilliant"
>>7208373
Those thick and uneven cucumber cuts
>>7209835
What did you get locked up for?
>>7208391
You can do this with tortillas.
You... should NOT do this with raw meat.
Wash yer fuckin' stove top.
>>7209149
A chunk?
>>7209874
Kek
>>7209858
Oh haha, nothing serious.
Its pretty dumb actually. I was going for an evening walk around the neighborhood and the police approached me and informed me they were looking for a suspected pedophile, so I made the joke that 'a few people have certainly suspected me of being a pedophile, probably all the anime' and the officer got understandably confused. Put me in a cell overnight until luckily they caught the guy.
>>7209858
got very drunk and put my fist through an on-again, off-again girlfriend's apartment window after a fight. carried myself outside and waited for the cops.
if you plan to get arrested in brooklyn, do it on a weekday.
>>7209930
Don't you love women get away with this shit. They tear your heart out, and when you justifiably (but albeit irrationally lose it), time to go to jail!
I wish we could lock up women for cheating or being stupid cunts.
>>7209943
yeah a less drunk me would have just vacated, but let me tell you punching that window was a real catharsis. not nearly worth the year of court hearings/order of protection bullshit, however.
of course she goes and fucks my friend she met that same night just days later. i mean i gave him the go ahead but i was really impressed by her hubris.
>>7209965
You really have to get your life together, man.
My philosophy is that some people are meant to be fucked over because of the way they act. Don't be one of those people.
>>7209969
oh fuck off you sanctimonious twat
>>7209973
Fucker, I'm trying to stop you from being a literal cuck, as in a guy who lets other men fuck his girl and then sticks around because she "loves him".
>>7209978
Dude keep up he said she fucked the friend after all this shit happened.
What is he going to do? Show her who's boss and get more time in court and behind bars?
>>7208464
my ex (colombian) would cook in a similar way
i wonder if it's just a third world thing? do middle class filipinos cook well?
>>7208764
euros cook half of this stuff
it's mostly from people who just have no fucking idea
>>7209978
i didn't stick around. i'd been through the rounds with this girl and this was basically just a booty call that went horribly wrong.
i was dealing with a lot of other shit at the time and got impossibly drunk and possibly high at a party beforehand, then went self-destruct mode back at her place.
i mean it's definitely the dumbest shit i've ever done don't get me wrong.
>>7210018
Hey. The others are right.
Iron it out. That's just embarrassing.
And eat more meat.
>>7210033
this was like 4 years ago m8
just retelling stories since someone asked
>>7210003
They cook as well as they have to in order to keep up their social status.
>>7210047
Soo.... have you been eating more meat since then?
https://twitter.com/30SECONDREClPES
Found this the other day. They mostly make pizza abominations with Pillsbury dough from a can.
>>7210056
oh definitely
This whole thread is so painful, but so funny.
>>7208371
That shit is pretty damn good
>>7208387
Except twitter actually happened
>>7210062
lol going through each of these and they are all so awful
pizza fries what the fuuck
>>7210062
they could melt a piece of cheese on a dog turd and slowly pull it apart for the camera and twitter would be liking it
>>7210062
Am I a shitty person for thinking this stuff looks nice.
>>7208413
Doritos instead of tortilla chips seems like a good idea in theory but its just horrible when executed...
>>7208464
I'm a filipino but please kill her.
>>7209915
>this is your average 4chan user
>>7208464
>>7208739
>.https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=L-cjks01GqE
Been awhile since I've felt genuinely nauseous while browsing 4chan. Thanks
#mommymaterial
>>7208845
>>7208982
Flips are the shittiest people on the planet.
>super arrogant for no fucking reason
>many of them are devoutly religious and oddly aggressive about it
>shittiest food
>most annoying girlfriends
>constantly spout phrases and words that Black people used like two years earlier
A good quarter of the civil engineers and techs in my city are Flip so I'm constantly dealing with them.
>>7208391
>The fucking caption
Corndogs anyone?
>>7208409
I always wanted to try this one, but piercing the sausages must be so tedious.
>>7210530
Those women must look like shit if thats what they consider a good meal.
>In America
>order corn
>get this
>>7210559
It won't work as the noodle in the sausage will not be boiled and stays crunchy
>>7210587
Is that popcorn on the cob?
>>7210601
Why yes, yes it is.
... I didn't know blue boards allowed snuff images.
This fucking thread is nightmare fuel.
>>7208382
>#vegan
>#paleo
>>7208739
Seeing that mayo in the back was making me uncomfortable, thinking he might use it.
Then he scooped it into the beans.
FUCK
Sooooo... are these done for lol muh memes, or are people serious.
>>7208739
>literally an entire fucking cup of mayo
Jesus fucking christ
Corn bread
>>7208440
Growing up my mom hardly ever made breakfast. Knowing someone got up early to not only make me breakfast but to early enough to cook my eggs this much would flatter me.
>>7209198
mfw
>>7209851
Why is it stupid anon?
Do americans really do this?
>>7210062
These aren't bad; I'd rather "Pizza Bites" or whatever than "a pot of stu mmmmmm bae".
I think twitter/tumblr/any social media outlet just triggers 4chan.
>>7211423
I just eat the avocados with some eggs
>>7210587
Kek it's like they went to make popcorn and got lazy halfway through
>>7211428
Why put them on bread though? I could get making a sandwich, but open faced seems retarded.
Inb4 "Do Americans really do this?" post
>>7208410
this shit offends me...
>>7209069
this is fucking tragic. did they just fall the fuck asleep with this shit in the oven?
>>7211433
Too late faggot
>>7208464
Why carbonara? There are 0 similarities.
>>7211502
She probably doesn't know any better.
I don't know if I want to praise them for at least trying, or look down at them for being so incompetant. society sure has fallen for me to even be debating this.
>>7211459
It was likely some drunk shit.
As long as the place didn't burn down then no harm's done.
>>7211681
You come across as a total homo since you're debating with yourself.
>>7211423
Didn't Alton Brown do something just like this on his show, just included some sardines or somesuch?
>>7211432
It should be toast, and the avocado should be mashed.
>>7208388
looks pretty good desu senpai
>>7210082
Not really, it did but fact of the matter is that a lot of people put a lot of money in it, like a hashtag scheme. A lot of media companies were paid off big time to push that shit. Twitter sucks now and then and it was a bullshit way to get people's email's and IDs. They can fuck off, it's almost as stupid as linkedin.
>>7210082
Go suckup to /g where nobody there has actually worked in the business. Those are the funny ones.
>>7211423
Only if it pisses you foreigners off. Then we think that it's pretty fuckin' funny.
>>7211423
Do you honestly think that we in the USA give a fuck about what you foreigners think? Get the fuck over yourselves.
>>7211748
>'murican telling foreigners to get over themselves
The irony in this statement
>>7211402
>>7208367
Not loving 부대찌개 Army stew
>>7210285
bitch stay the fuck away from my kids. no, not "our" kids, my kids. I showed that picture to the judge & he not only granted me full custody but also advised & granted a restraining order against you.
no fuck off
Just look how skillfully she cuts the onion at 11:00
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bycgZ0PI6og
She's a wifey for sure!
>>7209857
triggers me
>>7208739
why would anyone do this?
>>7211976
What's wrong with it you memer
>>7210578
If they were ugly AND they cooked these abominations then who would date them?
>>7212062
Please leave /ck/ immediately.
Kindly excuse any inconvenience.
>>7212108
>Please leave /ck/ immediately.
Make me :^)
>>7208464
"Comments are disabled for this video"
>>7211976
>https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bycgZ0PI6og
holy shit how did she?
NO WAY?!
HOW DID ? WOOW
wtf is wrong with her? She cuts it like a 70 old granny
>skills
>>7212237
Stop hating.
>she attended Cordon Bleu in France and graduated with honors. Feel free to contact her and discuss her techniques. I'm sure you guys will have a good conversation. She's really nice.
Like you could do it better.
>>7211722
Only if the avocados arent ripe, ripe they are buttery soft and mashing is not needed.
>>7212246
Stop defending.
>she cant cut for shit
Like you couldnt do it better.
>>7211976
>razor thin
>>7208464
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
>>7209835
When I was locked up the only thing I got was a breakfast - an off-brand Twinkie-like thing and a carton of milk. I've never been able to find a Twinkie like that one - it was really good. It wasn't a sponge cake, it was more like a bundt cake.
I started making them at home and I bring them to cookie exchanges. People love them.
>>7208464
>hot dogs
Fucking Flips.
>>7208391
I don't get the joke
>>7212419
Do you ever leave the house?
>>7208373
If I were your husband I'd murder you.
>>7211423
This isn't disgusting at all, may be simple but not disgusting.
>>7208373
>that toast
>burnt in the middle
>white on the edges
How do you manage to fail at toast?
>>7208739
What episode is this
>>7208374
Dude, Noice
>>7211423
Actually good.
>>7209082
They're all satire
>>7208464
Cooking pasta in a rice cooker.
Could you be any more pinoy?
>>7209915
You're a fucking idiot but I love you.
>>7212451
Cheapest possible store brand white bread. It's been improperly cut, so each slice kinda bulges outward in the middle. This results in that type of toast as the middle part will be closest to the heating element.
>>7211423
Dude, I would eat this no problem. I prefer if the bread was toasted but whatever.
You need to get the fuck out of your comfort zone, Anon.
>>7213014
Or possibly they didn't bake it and cooked it over a stove burner
>>7211423
are you guys joking?
I'm from Chile and here we mash the avocado, add a pinch of salt, a tiny bit of oil, and we eat that with bread (especially toasts). If the avocado is not ripe, we might just cut it like this and add it to the bread.
>>7208353
>>7208367
>>7208373
>>7208378
>>7208382
>>7208388
>>7208389
>>7208391
>>7208394
>>7208397
>>7208401
>>7208409
>>7208410
>>7208413
>>7208440
>>7208464
>>7209069
>>7209198
>>7209835
>>7210285
>>7210530
>>7210587
>>7211379
>>7211402
>>7211423
Holy shit.
I can eat fckin eggplant sandwiches while watching wreckless eating main show.
I laugh my ass off on /b/ rekt threads.
I vomited like three times in my life, just because I was ill. Never from any smell, never from bad food, never from alcohol.
But from watching this fucking thread I actually gagged. A lot. Especially that "stu". What the f is wrong with these people.
>>7213199
Prolly because those retarded females are proud of themselves for putting togther a hotdog and a can of corn.
>>7208464
That's a good one.
>>7212772
'Salad' night.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cUW_bXll6YM
>>7208893
kek'd out loud
>>7209915
never change, 4chan
>>7208982
More like race most likly to be employed as a nurse.
>>7208464
>>7208464
fugg
>>7208373
>balanced audio cables
>allows woman like this into his home
>>7208739
>>7211423
Americans don't jog you shithead
>>7214171
Wrong.
However, we don't run with a white flag like most of your coward foreign militaries.
>>7208378
i mean the presentation is trash but it's probably tasty
>>7214208
did your army conquer a whole continent? or do have to share a border with other countries?
>>7214227
We dominate what the fuck ever we desire.
Stand back, junior or you'll get shot.
>>7210003
fuck off, colombians cook amazing 95% of the time, you just picked a shitty one
>>7214247
>implying everyone isn't hit or miss
>>7214265
Even more so with less middle ground.
>>7211402
RARE
A
R
E
>>7213078
You add oil to the avocado? Why? Doesn't it make the whole thing too greasy/oily??
>>7214319
Try it yourself. Just a bit of oil and salt.
>>7211808
Yeah but korean army stew is delicious
>>7214285
I N C O M E
N
E
Q
U
A
L
I
T
Yow, lad!
>>7210587
holy shit why didnt i think of this
popcorn on the cob goddamn
>>7208367
Poor Stu, he didn't deserve this.
>>7208373
>my man loves when i microwave shit and suck Tyrones dick. SHIT NIGGA
>>7211423
Dude what? It's delicious.
>toast
>sliced avocado
>paprika, salt, pepper
>maybe spinach or tomato if on hand
>>7214137
Why is this a gif?
>>7208373
>Toast is barely brown
>Toast isn't even buttered
>Cucumber for no reason
How do you fuck up beans on toast?
>>7214114
lmao
>>7213207
Don't blame it on women. It's just our culture is starting to hate cooking.
>women cooking is seen as stereotypical and mysoginist, so people are against it
>men cooking is seen as excessive and too much work, when microwave dinners exist for easy access
If you couldn't make alot of money as a renowned chef, the culinary arts would probably die a slow death.
>>7208388
So what, two pieces of bread with the peanut butter on the side? Bitch can't even put the peanut butter on the bread?!?! I'm mad.
>>7210593
Can confirm, I drunkenly tried this once.
Here's a fresh one
>>7211423
>toast the bread
>mash the avocado
look its fucking good now
>>7208401
That fucking font
>>7212419
At Benihana they prep meat on huge stove tops. Pic related.
The joke is that you should not be doing that on a normal stove top because it wasn't designed to be used that way. It would also be super impractical for cooking, I assume it would cook unevenly due to the sparse heat sources. The clean up afterwords would probably also be a pain in the ass.
>>7208739
>mayo and beans
>MAYO AND FUCKING BEANS
>>7208378
I have to be honest here, it may look like garbage. But it looks like she actually tried. It looks like she tried to make a handmade dough (or maybe a frozen dough) and just had a bad time. And possibly doesnt like meat or something. Still looks better than half of the shit on this thread, it was a legitimate attempt.
>>7211976
S...she went to 'school' for this shit?
I'm a piece of shit and worked inna kitchen for 1 year and I indepently discovered how to use a knife better than her.
Also, stone > steel. Stone for sharpening, steel for coarse honing.
Lastly, my $30 Celaphon(?) knife is just fine and holds a great edge because I know how to take care of the bevel when I sharpen it with a fucking stone.
>mfw
>>7217454
>Paul allen
>>7209874
Under fucking rated.
>>7217302
The chicken is from Raising Canes, the little plastic container is Canes sauce. So really she didn't cook anything, just put fast food chicken, oreos and bread on a styrofoam plate
>>7210530
I don't even know what to say to that one.
Just fuck my shit up senpai.
>>7217758
its ok with chili on spaghetti
>>7208395
Niggers are the only ones who use the word bae
>>7217818
And the Danes
>this whole thread
>>7210285
The deviled eggs look ok, and the chicken looks edible. Not sure why it's covered in corn though.
>>7217827
As a Dane, I have tried to make sense of this post for a few minutes now and it's just not happening.
Did you mean "bage"?
>>7208378
I bet that's fucking delicious.
People who get hung up on appearances are the lowest degenerate trash.
>>7211423
I mash avocados and 505 green chile sauce to make super fast and easy guac, and I often spread it on toast.
So yes.
>>7217744
>>7208413
is that stroganoff on on there?
>>7214346
I always wanted to make this, but the nearest place that sells kimchi is over an hour away from me.
>>7208464
this wins holy shit
>>7218124
I live in a semi-rural suburb of a who-gives-a-shit small city in flyover land, and I can buy kimchi at Kroger.
>>7211720
He ate sardines on toast with avocado spread
Pretty tasty.
>>7215550
I'd say it's fair to blame it on women to a certain extent because perpetuating the tradition of home cooking was traditionally one of their obligations and they failed it just like how men failed to perpetuate handiness and now the average millennial can't even replace an alternator or make a cabinet. The culture of self-reliance that has traditionally been a significant part of the American cultural identity has atrophied over the last few generations among both sexes and that's a horrifying state of affairs.
>>7218466
it isn't the 1800s anymore, there is no reason to be 100% self reliant
>>7218466
nigga people don't have 9 children either, which when you think about it is truly a horrifying state of terror
>>7217758
Shit tier quesadillas/breakfast burritos at 2 am. Like, taco bell quality.
It's just a really salty dairy product. It's not as gross if you don't think of it/really use it as cheese.
>>7218466
>make a cabinet
Why the fuck would the average person ever need to do that? Specialization is key in the modern economy. While everyone should be able to cook, do basic repairs, asking people to make their own furniture is going backwards.
>>7218466
>born too late: the post
People being fuckups is one thing. Women having comparably less time to spend as men - because they're getting educated/working etc. comparably to men - "in the kitchen" is another. And that's okay.
Btw I'm okay with and enjoying laughing at the fuckups itt. Just dumbasses gloating about their fucked/nonexistent cooking chops. Gender, really, isn't the joke here.
>>7218615
>Women having comparably less time to spend as men
To be clear: women today having less time to cook than traditionally because they're busy beyond being only a homemaker. Similar to men.
