>got a job with JPMorgan in Singapore
>lied about being fluent in mandarin to get it
H-how fucked am I lads?
Tell me more about the outcome pls intrested in
>>1338048
fake confidence. call in sick from first moment you have to speak mandarin. stay on sickness pay roll as long you can until you get fired (if they fire you too soon you can sue them)
and then apply anywhere you want cause big ass jp morgan on your resume. when next employer asks why u aint working there nomore just say there were feminists.
>>1338048
Very.
Mandarin is complicated as fuck. I hope you're spending 10 hours a day learning it now, otherwise they WILL tell you lied.
>>1338048
Top kek. How good is your mandarin lad? Here is a Mandarin course but you sound pretty fucked senpai. https://isohunt.to/torrent_details/16624245/Thomas-Michel-CHINESE-Mandarin
I got a job as an assistant grocery store manager by telling them I could sign language. New they were only looking for someone who spoke 2 languages. Never thought I'd need it. Turns out 3 regulars were deaf.
I faked diarrhea every time they came in for about 3 months until getting let go. Had alot of friends there, they call me diarrhea dan now even tho I explained the backstory. Fuck my life.
learn as much as you can as quick as you can. stop shitposting, take some amphetamines and go on duolingo.
Bullshit around it for 6 months, then buy this when it releases.
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/sciencetech/article-3592753/Don-t-panic-250-Babelfish-like-gadget-fits-inside-ear-translate-foreign-languages-real-time.html
>gadget fits inside your ear to translate foreign languages in real-time
>>1338048
I wanna know how you managed to get through the interview rounds if fluency in mandarin was required
>>1338048
Everyone in Singapore speaks English anyway, OP you got nothing to worry about. Unless your job requires facing clients from China
Confidence is key. If you believe you can speak Mandarin, then you will speak Mandarin. Believe in yourself.
>>1338048
kill yourself lad
and I hope everyone else learns from your mistake
>>1338048
fucking lol, I also just started working for JPmorgan.
I don't really see how you can bullshit out of this if you actually have to learn mandarin at some point, the pronunciation of the language is extremely complicated. Avoid any contact with the language by any means necessary until you can transfer or figure out some other solution.
>>1338065
seems decent enough for another route
BUT YOU ARE FUCKED LOL, WHY THE FUCK DID YOU PICK MANADARIN???? ITS LIKE TRYING TO FAKE ARABIC ROFL
>>1338048
Literally everyone in Singapore speaks english you'll be fine in country. I don't know if you need to deal with actual Han chinese over there, but you definitely don't need it to live and work there
t. student who studied abroad for a year there
What job did you get may I ask? How come you got a job in Singapore if you don't live there or speak any Mandarin or anything?
English is a first language in Singapore. It's how the Chinese are able to communicate with their subju- I mean their minorities.
>>1338048
Hire a translator. Tell everyone she's your assistant. Let her know what you did so she can translate things for you on the down low.
>>1338048
Hahahaha, hello friend. I'm in SG banking, as some others on this board may recognize.
You are SUPER fucked. Why the fuck did you lie about being able to speak Chinese in a country that is predominantly (70%~) Chinese? You wouldn't lie about Spanish in the states, why would you lie about Chinese here? Almost anyone who is Chinese will speak it to an extent, and you may or may not be aware that Chinese is one of the hardest languages to learn for an English speaker.
Did you think nobody was going to communicate to you in Chinese? Chinese people are nosy, man. If the word gets out (and it will), your cover will be blown in 2 days tops.
All it takes is for someone to mention that you speak Chinese. They're gonna be ALL over you trying to get you to speak it. In Singapore there's nothing to do - we're fucking bored all the time, and watching Caucasians struggle with Chinese is best form of entertainment to many, my man.
Tell me more about the job. You in the FO? If you're in the BO, perhaps you'll be able to get away with it if you just act like an autist and not speak to anyone.
>>1338453
Hey banking anon, any tips on getting into banking from someone with IT background? Specific finance related skills/keywords recruiters would look when scanning through resume? Thanks.
>>1338048
Your fluency in Mandarin was based on your evaluation not JP Morgan's so unless they tested you, skate by as long as you can and if you ever need it see if the Mandarin speaking Chinesse can provide you with a translator. BTW are you also equally fluent in Cantonese?
You can learn a language and be fluent in it in 8 months or so.
Better start learning.
>>1338048
>I'm starting to work for JPM in Bournemouth tomorrow
>I don't speak or read any english
wew lad let's go
>speaks Cantonese, mandarin, English, German
>live in hk
>with a uni degree
>not gonna get hired by jp
dayum
take lsd and learn it in a night
>>1338647
Hey, it probably depends on what you're doing right now. IT in banking is always a little lagging (non-consumer side), they don't always use the latest tech.
Are you talking about the FO or BO side of things?
