Hi /biz/
itt we place resumes that we demolish, tear apart, shit on, and convince their writers to purchase knee pads.
Sometimes maybe even some helpful suggestion.
>BONUS
Try drawing on them for extra emphasis.
I'll start...
>>1308892
12 minutes to a better resume: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SzXQsr9lo9Q
>>1308892
>dat ant resolution
>about me
> might even have fun doing it as well
just forget the about me
Assign dollar values like this
Managed over $120,000 worth of pipeline and workflow....
rearrange so my eyes can just go down the page and i can get a feeling of you by just skimming down the page.
use bullet points and don't use blocks of text
If asked about previous leadership experiences, is mentioning being a guild leader in a game bad idea?
I could build up by saying that it involved checking the qualifications of people, assigning them tasks, solving conflicts in groups, managing times, etc.
Or is it still seen as form of autism?
>>1309828
the latter
>>1309159
Thank m8
Have some high-test azns
>>1308892
Hoo boy. Let us begin.
First let me use 1/5 of page for Contact info, says I'm 20% bullshit. Seems like a good amount of Bullshit.
Crumpled right here
Lets use the most visually drawing 20% on my very important self b/c that's who really makes the decisions here. While we're at it lets say I'm professional while demonstrating the exact opposite by putting A FUCKING ELLIPSIS in a resume.
Squaring my Feet
First Job Weakest Job, Highlight those strengths. Lets not talk numbers, the very science of relationships, lets talk vague menial bullshit & make absolutely sure to point out that even though I was hired 2 months ago, I'm 100% loyal and am available all the time when called b/c lets face it, I'm desperate.
Squaring my shoulders
Second Job 100% title, Guaranteed Bullshit. I oversee in a timely manner. How does that work? exactly! It doesn't. Directors don't work the front of house of anything. They don't have the time.
I actually wish this first part time Job and my second fake Job paid the bills.
Shaking around Getting loose
3rd Job Oh hey we're still positive and looking up.
4th Job oh wait it looks like this 3rd Job he was actually demoted for his positivity and timely attitude
Lining up the Shot
Oh Art History Bachelors, Most Jobs I'd just omit that or put it on the bottom b/c its not relevant. Unless I was doing some Curator Position.
He takes the Shot!
Oh look He's part of the tard gaurd. that's nice
Oh look an achievements section. What has he achieved? Oh wait no this is a Remember that thing I did one time years agos Section.
Oh hey he's an actor and a radio star and a voice actor with a portfolio that needs to be omitted 100% b/c it was clearly successful.
Remember in the Special Olympics Failure is an Achievement.
Into the Trash it GOES. Blow That Vevuzula
I dub thee Friendly Dehydrated Timelord
Lights Trash on Fire
What Position were thinking of applying 4?
What Position Do you think You're Qualified 4?
>>1309828
Look I get the work hard play hard attitude, but no. Not unless its in industry & you legit 100% know this guy plays the exact same game as you and even then you've probably got a stronger play in casually mentioning it in the interview rather than wasting space on your resume.
