itt: resumes
>plz critique
straight into the trash
>>1195709
>includes but not limited to
cut that shit out
>>1195709
Lol that font. Without getting too deep into what can be done to improve the meat of your resume, I will just give some offhand critique. First, never refer to yourself in the 3rd person. Also, "includes but is not limited to" is the most redundant catchphrase you can use in a resume. I cringe whenever ilI see it.
>>1195709
my eyes
can't tell if serious or not, but use a proper email, fix that third person shit, list about 3 of the most recent jobs you've had that are RELEVANT to the job you're applying for, give details about your responsibilities and accomplishments working in those jobs, and ask yourself, "What can I do for this company and how can I improve myself by working here?". Use that answer in the resume.
>>1195709
How do I know if I'm employable?
I've been doing webdev for years now, dropped out of college and have done some freelancing through acquaintances. But how do I go about finding a real job?
I would greatly appreciate it someone could help me out and walk me through the getting a job process. I'm honestly considering suicide because my life has been at a standstill for so long.
>>1195709
rate mine mates
If /biz/ had a sticky, OP's image would be a mandatory part of it
22 y/o, Aus, building industry, looking to move on from labour roles into a junior/trainee office role such as contract administration or production estimation with a residential contractor. I generally excel much more at cover letter writing.
Have had a couple interviews lately where I've made it to the final round but not been given the job offer. One company was a volume builder, the other a material supplier, both junior estimation roles. If there's any Anons who work in construction, any insider tips on what employers typically look for when filling entry level roles?
>>1196034
Forgot the resume
>>1196016
2 pages is too many
>>1196037
>>1196016
First thing is that both of you need to get a latex template and use that instead of whatever it is you used to make that one.
http://www.latextemplates.com/cat/curricula-vitae
Latex is easy to use if you don't know how. You have to download the program and use the templates listed above.
>>1196037
>Forgot the resume
I hope that's what you say when you show up to job interviews because then you stand a better chance of being hired than if you'd presented that can of alphabet soup that you so negligibly poured upon a page and photocopied. It's like somebody tried to microwave a shit sandwich.
>>1196037
Just fucking ask the landscaper for a job, who the fuck needs a resume lmao
Would appreciate feedback on mine, r8 me.
>>1196189
So what are your job possibilities with a PolSci degree and that job history? Seems very broad
>>1195937
Anon if you're not full of shit and have actually done legit freelance you should just try to nab an interview. Fill your resume with freelance jobs you've worked on, portfolio of stuff, languages you know, etc.
The resume in my experience honestly doesn't matter, it just has to look pretty enough to nab you an interview. If you know your shit you should be able to get something.
>>1196255
This. I went for a job i was overqualified for still i cocked up i put a family member who ran the business i worked for at the time, 5th question in was why don't i have real references
>>1196016
>years'
>semesters'
Learn how to use apostrophes.
>>1196272
That is right famalam. Multiple years and multiple semesters
>>1196448
that's not how apostrophes work m8
>>1196453
This should be good. By all means, please show us how they do work, wizard
>>1196250
For the immediate time horizon (6 months - 1 year) I'm going to focus on progressing in the KYC/AML compliance stuff I'm doing. I want to get into the LATAM compliance department on account of my Portuguese.
I'm also trying to learn more about financial markets so I can consider a transition to finance. The bank I'm contracting with currently has a program to become an investment analyst that recruits from people with limited work experience (0-2 years)
In terms of things more relevant to my degree, I'd like to try for CIA or take the Foreign Service Officer test at some point. I feel like I need to build up to that, would want to do it after grad school. I definitely should learn a new language to help with that, but so far I can't even make great inroads into getting actually good at Spanish. I need to work harder at it.
>>1196481
I once almost enlisted in the Army and I still have the military option filed away in my brain, but I feel less of a pull toward it now. I might still try for it someday. Could help pay for grad school and could be good for a job at CIA/State.
>[email protected]
Seriously?
>>1196189
Looking at the jobs listed in your Experience section, it's obvious that you should have more in your Skills and Training section than just some languages and office (which fucking everyone lists)
Did you not learn anything other than office and a second language at your jobs?
General advice for uni students:
1. List your education first. Do put your GPA somewhere I can find it, as long as it's not atrocious (i.e., list if 3.5+). If I don't see a GPA, I assume you're retarded.
2. Do not go over one page.
3. Put your skills in their own section, and put them somewhere I can see them. My usual flow is to glance at the education section to make sure you aren't mentally handicapped, then skip straight to the skills, then work back through your internships.
4. Allocate space wisely. If you have a Goldman Sachs internship and three bullshit on-campus jobs, don't give each of them one-fourth of the space. Your GS internship should take up half of the space in the experience section, and the rest of the bullshit should be compressed as much as possible.
>>1196448
No famalam, that isn't how they work. If you want the plural of "year" you just need to add an "s" and make it "years."
By adding the apostrophe to the end, you've given the "years" possession. You've essentially written "multiple years's," which I think we can all agree is retarded. Go back to tenth grade.
>>1196070
best in thread
>>1195709
my god you people are so shitty at making resumes.
Look up a template and stop trying to be creative.
>>1196985
What the fuck do people put into "skills"?
Just language + IT skills (bloomberg terminal/excel/R GNU/SQL) ? Or stuff like "Able to derive the Black76 option pricing formula" ?
>>1196016
Lmfao @ someone still in college having a 2 page resume
>>1196037
>gramatically articulate
Kek
>>1196189
Take out "as identified requiring further analysis". It's redundant.
>>1196189
It's the first layout posted that doesn't look horrible. You kept it to one page and you kept the layout simple. Not bad.
>>1196037
>Forgot the resume
You're done. gtfo.
>Resumes must be exactly one page
t. High school guidance counselor
>>1196016
>international student
Into the trash
>>1196037
You should probably stick to ditch-digging m80
I need some insight on cover letters. I have a double degree in robotics eng and computer science and every single engineer cover letter template example I see has nearly a full page of content, which invariably is dry as fuck and just repeats the resume in the form of a story. I think that's retarded and I really want to make a nice succinct "here's my experience and here's what I can do for your company etc" kind of resume, but not sure if I can get away with it. I've got some very relevant experience that fits the bill really well. Can I get away with the short letter? Obviously not super short, just not the full 5 paragraph examples I see.
>>1197219
What does the t. mean in the signature
Never got this meme
>>1197219
Dont switch between 3rd person and 1st person in your summary. Also, I'm totally confused about the 6 month internship between your first and 2nd job.
Looks ok, but you really should stick to the one page rule, meme or not, especially since you don't have that long of a work history. It just comes down to making your resume more concise and easier to read. Avoid putting too much filler.
>>1196703
Aside from customer service soft skills, some technical how-to for phones and computers, and some basics of what's a good mobile website layout, I didn't learn a whole lot to be honest anon.
>[email protected]
Kek.
>>1195709
Please for the love of god, everyone in this thread:
IF you really want to make a good CV/Resume, go here
http://ocs.fas.harvard.edu/files/ocs/files/undergrad_resumes_and_cover_letters.pdf
That is the HARVARD Resume Guide with examples, also includes cover letters. If it is good enough for fuckin' HARVARD students, it is more than good for your mediocre ass.
Altrnatively, use LaTex and edit it with Overleaf, no need to download any shit.
http://www.latextemplates.com/cat/curricula-vitae
>>1196016
>college kid
>2 page resume
and people complain about how they cant get jobs. trim the fat pajeet/xin yu
>>1197219
trim the fat. ive handled recruiting (even though im an engineer) and i hate reading sentences. i dont have the time with so many fucks handing me 2+ page resumes
>>1195709
dogshit. straight dogshit.
>>1196985
I made a 2.8 GPA but I listed that I had a 3.43 on my resume and got the job.
>>1195709
Fix that font. Looks like a 14 year old did it.
>>1198733
This.
Employers rarely check into your fucking GPA as long as you aren't autistic during the interview. This applies mainly for jobs that aren't very important, meaning they aren't very strict on the hiring process.
I mean, put yourself in the hiring manager's shoes... he probably has to read through those fucking resumes, select some, then interview them. I've been there as an assistant and its very stressful and boring.
Basically, be new and unique but not retarded.
How is this for a CV lads, minus the references, which I always update and refresh for important applications.
>available upon request
T R A S H E D
R
A
S
H
E
D
>>1199094
Lol I just said I add up to date references when I submit applications you Filipino bum boy
>>1195709
so basically op got sucked into the army with the promise of a chance of being a thuper special forces soldier, failed out or quit, then got sent to the fucking 82nd lol.
your resume spells out loser to me.
>>1195709
>this font and layout
Destined for 3rd shift at the malt-o-meal factory
>>1196016
>Visa status
INTO
N
T
O
>>1196037
The first sentence in this rez is so fuckin awkward brah
>>1198976
Change the objective. After "logistics", you really aren't saying anything. Also, trim it down to 1 page. There is no reason why someone with so little of professional experience should have a 2 page resume.
>>1199369
>logistics
logistical position^
Is there a single person with a respectable degree in this entire thread?
All I see is you people majoring in the most retarded shit lmfao.
Just fucking kill me right now.
>no consistent job for past three years
>>1199880
Shit,dude.
Your resume lacks a narrative, ie. your resume should give a brief mental picture about you or what you are like.Recruiters skim through you resume for 10 sec before throwing it into the shredder. Make them want to have a second look.
This guy explains it like it is.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_0fjkKCsM1w
I was told to include an objectives section. I've had more than a few people look this over, including a CEO, who never told me to remove or change the objectives section.
I can't help but feel like it's wrong or unneeded. However I feel like it does go a ways towards building a narrative as the guy in
>>1199983
's video says.
Anyway, please give me constructive criticism. Thanks.
>>1199880
>that shitty layout
>that entire fucking about me section
>stupid fucking bullet points instead of short sentences
Seriously that entire first paragraph in the about me is cringe worthy as fuck, i'd instantly toss that out if I saw that, this aint your fucking cover letter dumbass
>>1200488
Looks great. Yes, your objective section is necessary. It gives a brief introduction about you and what your goals are. I would change the first sentence, however. It reads like an incomplete sentence. Maybe preface it with "It is my goal to obtain...". It would give your objective a little more readibilty. Also, consider removing some space at the top before your objective so your bottom paragraph doesn't look so scrunched.
>>1200504
Thank you. I'll do those things.
Another question: I'm currently applying for a departmental analytics job that has nothing to do with the environment, and little with policy. Should I alter my objectives section to be more in line with the job specifications?
>>1200508
Absolutely. Your objectives section should always be tailor made towards the job you are applying for.
>>1200508
You should always do that.
Also for basic formatting put Experience and Skills above Education. You could even separate experience and skills. Other than that not to bad. Best format is easily Objective then Skills then Experience and then Education, make sure it's not to wordy and there aren't massive paragraphs and keep it to one page. Lots of the stuff in your Education section could be shrunk, GPA could be just 3.7. There are a lot of other areas where you could shrink a bit as well. Like for the Dean's List you say 2011 Fall Semester, 2012 Spring etc etc. You could easily just say Made Dean's List in 6 semesters or something shorter as employers dont really give a fuck you made Dean's List 2011 Fall Semester
>>1199369
Thanks I'll tweek it a bit
>>1195709
How do you fill out a CV straight out of High School?
> Looking for a cooshy summer job/internship.
>first year undergrad
I want to change my job to some kind of IT related corporation position. I want to go up the ladder and have a good life in a few years.
I just... want something more, better... I intend to achieve it.
Please, rate my CV, anything is appreciated, any opinion!
Got an email response to a job, first time in a long time, they asked me for a number to contact me. My home number is right on the resume even in the damn email I sent. I was looking at it via an email thread. Not sure if guy was stupid or testing me. Reply tell them a time to call. Guy calls me this morning 30 minutes early than the time agreed. Once again questioning their mental capabilities.
Pretty much does a phone interview, feel like I'm killing it. Past experience at a job with a similar function, experience with the very software they wanted, suddenly asks me why I left pharmacy. Fuck me. Side step it with some shit about certifications and it not fitting with me. Bad answer. Suddenly start asking me about my what field I was looking to work in. Bad signs. Say graphic design/printing, he gives me shit about the resume I sent not being graphic design and a general resume. "Sorry I don't think you're qualified."
THE FUCK
Past work in graphic design and printing but I'm not what you're looking for?
I feel like my resume is hurting me from finding a job. Putting pharmacy technician jobs on there might be worrying people because I didn't do anything in that field save for an externship and one temp job.
This is old I removed the skills shit and replaced it with a summery
>Creative, resourceful, and flexible. Able to adapt to changing priorities, maintain focus, and display a strong work ethic.
And added the pharmacy tech school
Which may have been a mistake.
>>1200488
>pertaining to how to
no no no no NO NO NO
>>1196016
What's that language thing from?
>>1200877
What would you replace that segment with then?
>>1200708
Too spaced out, squeeze it into 1 page. Remove the interests section completely, it has no business on a CV. Explain what you did in each job you've had. What did you do as an "Apprentice"? Apprentice with whom? What did you do? Driving license doesn't need to be included unless having a "Category "B"" license is directly applicable to the job you're applying to.
Your picture is not necessary in a CV, it just takes up space. Your personal information section should be changed into a header of some sort. Ditch including your DOB/Country/City.
In your education section, what did you learn that's pertinent to this particular job when getting your Bachelors? And your Masters?
Formatting almost is never an issue, but yours is almost _too_ vanilla.
There's definitely more, but that's what immediately pops out to me. Hope this helps.
>>1200867
Dude you just got trolled, and he fulfilled his quota of calling X ppl that day. Your resume is fine, you dont want an kawaii chick colored resume dude.
>>1199880
>Bachelor of Arts History and English
Might as well leave it out, it does nothing for you.
>Can use Mac's...
>Mac's...
Mac's what? Mac's dick?
>Internet
>INTERNET
>about me
>ABOUT ME
WHAT ABOUT YOU NIGGA? HOLY SHIT LMFAO
>does relaxing count
>relaxing
>count
I'm so sorry you are this retarded. Holy shit.
>>1196016
No relavent coursework in education though its in the most eye catching part of the paper. Kill yourself.
CF Did you make them any money where are the metrics and KPI's/CPI's
How fat was that Budget, how many line items were on it. Did the budget win the Lord Mayor over.
Content of the Peer Reviewed Article.
Admin Support - How many manhours and resources did this save the company
officer - Size and Scope of projects
Volunteer Services - Strike out Data entry. wtf were you thinking
Feasability study first b/c it sounds important.
Promotion - strike - packing up stalls are you trying to be a grunt
Consulting - Reorgainized< no!, OPTIMIZED.
AWARD GOES FUCKING FIRST IDIOT and you won it, you weren't nominated.
Collated- no, Finalized.
- Co-Presented, NO, Presented.
Filing system- Don't ever mention this. You restructured and developed the whole department process and workflow that they still use today.
you spelled standardize wrong. into the trash it goes.
Is your name so fucking alien that you need to put visa status. that could be a straight to the trash.
Why are there two volunteering sections.
lotta whitespace in technicals, implying you're mostly useless.
lost in the mail/10
>>1200867
If you have to tell them you're an excellent communicator you're not.
as evidenced by next sentence
> good standard of IT and numeracy
Why is pharmacy even on there if you did no graphic design for them its irrelevant filler.
Dates only fuck the details b/c I don't care
also the phone call, I simply realized my passion and talent was in graphic design. not pharma tech
Aggressively 1/5 of this page is Graphic design related.
SHOW PEOPLE YOUR QUALIFICATIONS DO NOT TELL THEM
pic related
>>1200708
Literally 50% whitespace what the fuck are you doing.
You have 0 fucking IT qualifications on your resume.
I'm supposed to take your word for it. when the most advanced thing you have on your resume is V-Lookup.
You jog fuck you.
You can drive fuck you.
NO ONE GIVES A FUCK ABOUT YOU. HOW CAN YOU MAKE ME MONEY. NO ONE OWES YOU SHIT.
This whole resume is trash,
actually angry/10
http://dropcanvas.com/zpf5p
Download How to find your dreamjob and overnight resume makeover right now
use jdownloader
filenames are triplemaximumwageslave & hiremeplz
objectives are for fags
>>1200488
Pretty good. Dense. Dense is good
5 significant figures really, just round up.
I was weighing putting your experience first as they are quite strong then reorganized it a bit.
Any way, DEANS LIST FIRST
GRANTS SECOND
Bullshit societies next
why are you using subcategories for grants just make 2 separate bullets
Experience lacks CPIs and KPIs sure you worked but did it bear fruit. Talk about how delicious the fruit was.
Gathered Data, fuck off peasant.
LA - I showed up, that counts right, wooh, no numbers. No impact. you just stood there.
Collected data like a peon, again,
Extracted and Encoded a data matrix, w/ ....
appeals
Aided, No. Pissant, you Documented.
got through the assistant/10
>>1198733
savage.
>>1201188
The skills part is not currently on my resume.
I would remove the pharmacy shit but it would leave huge gaps in my employment. Employers will ask about said gaps which will lead to them asking me why I left pharmacy tech. I remember when I trained for graphic design they had us prepare portfolios but it seems that the people who hire don't really care to see your work anymore unless it's actually making art which is a rarity and not on my level. I really need to learn how to navigate these questions and build a better resume with the little work I have.
>>1201254
I haven't much to put, you're calling out the obvious filler. A lot of the work I came in on for a time and left (not by choice, stipend ran out, etc). Some of it is still ongoing, which is unfortunate for me in terms of credentials.
Regardless, thank you sensei.
>>1199880
AN ELLIPSIS in a resume
oh boy this gon' be good.
dashes and periods
Wtf is a national police check and why does it qualify you for anything. This implies that most people in your line of work are criminals and indigents.
Airport News store clerk.
What job are you applying for, never tell people you had this job.
KFC
CORRECTLY, like anyone is supposed to do things incorrectly. Special olympics tier
Being personable, as a duty. Serial Killer Tier
> Never once did you successfully complete a sale.
ImC
Approaching & Talking to the public, caged animal tier
Actually LISTENING - full retard tier
English major - Wow this degree is fucking toilet paper.
A+V
PARTICATION AWARDS FOR EVERYBODY
Worlds greatest shave- okay you're probably trolling now
BLOOD DONOR!!!!! on a resume
just helped out and was so good they offered me the job on radio.
> that you weren't the formless comedic relief blob character
Started a business. That's all I have to say about that.
casual to part time.
begins sentences with prepositions yet is english major
HABITAT
Martial arts
Admits incompetence
You're exactly what I want, A Dangerous Smelly Hippy
English Major/10
>includes but not limited to
Is your resume a TV commercial?
>>1201283
WHY IS THERE "OBVIOUS" your words FILLER ON YOUR RESUME
at least try to hide it.
Its like you don't think a human might read this, or that said human is incompetent or that you are competing against vermin.
>>1199880
>riding horses (badly)
Please tell me this is some new funny meme or something
>>1199880
>Oh, & does relaxing count?
Solid last line, mate. Really landed with both feet.
I now know why so many of you idiots complain about being unemployed or not being able to get a job
Actually blown away by how shitty some of these are
>>1201275
Like I said
Pharmacy.....(2011-2013)
That is all that's relevent unless you can somehow finagle that you did some graphic design work for them.
People will judge you by what you give them to judge you by. If you give them whitespace they'll judge you milquetoast
Go through the dreamjob course, it will get you 90% of the way there.
http://dropcanvas.com/zpf5p
triple max wageslave
For graphic design often you need to build up freelance work.
I'll update the earn1k 2.0 in your spare time links for you.
theyll be in the earn2k
>>1198976
Cordial
> you're really cussing them out in your head
Core qual- get rid of this entire section
can finish - wooh it spins tier
Locating - those mangy kids tier
Can write - I too graduated from kindergarten tier
Comfortable - b/c you have to tell me this before talking about say your education
Proficient - what the fuck
Aware - shooting yourself in the foot tier
EFFECTIVE - yeah buzzwords
Give No details about coursework I worked so hard on
Oh his thesis has its own section maybe he'll talk about it. Nope.
Editor who can't be discrete, meaningful or concise. Hired
other one
Mostly wasted peoples space, money and time with people who could barely comprehend you, or give adequate feedback in a meaningful way. Signs of a useless, gormless, spineless, sycophant who doesn't even know that they are spinning their wheels on something that doesn't matter.
Sub organization
This person can't work with others and made their own safe space to protect themselves from others or vice versa. We can't fire her she's a volunteer.
Works
clearly these are all self evidently important. lets not discuss them or their impact at all, and put them at the bottom of the page where no one will read them. It not like they're the basis of your resume or the core of your work.
Certificate of Completion- Yay a sticker
Put this as a secondary language fucknut
Oh hey Deans list, the fact that I'm in the .01% of my peers academically needs to go on the second page not in the first under education
Buddhist-Run... Racist
Computer Skills- NO. Technical Proficiencies
"Familiar" does that sound professional or reliable to you.
clueless hole/10
I think this thread just shows how retarded /biz/ is. Seriously.
There isn't a single rock-solid resume and the thread has been around for days
>>1201318
Because I have nothing else to put ;_; don't yell at me you big mean
>>1197219
Widowed sections always look bad. Either pad out your CV to fill that second page or trim it down to one page.
>>1197219
Oh hey I insist on using a second page but not filling it up. See I'm capable of wasting your time and your money simultaneously.
WHY DOES EVERYTHING HAVE A BULLET
The second fifth of the resume is the area where the eyes linger longest. Let me put the most whitespace there to seem like I'm light on qualification.
ADMIN
Hey no one cares about project details or numbers They care about me and how totally rad I am at diving. No KPI's or CPI's at all.
Critical issues. yeah. I escawated dee shituashun.
I trained them in being rad and escalating yeah.
NSSTMS
500+, 30+ this guys not detail oriented. Takes shortcuts.
Created Documents. #Lifegoals
Kept clients from shooting themselves in the face, and leave those details to the imagination b/c they were unimportant.
Participation stickered in important projects but had no meaningful contribution
Intern
1000 clients a month. 33 clients per day 4 clients per hour. FUcking terrible mate.
worst intern ever
If this idiot got ris of all these bullets he could probably fit this whole second page on the first.
HIGH SCHOOL? was it elite? will it get you secret connections?
Tales of IT/10
http://imgur.com/gallery/iJD8f
>>1201372
lol this board is always so blunt.
>>1196189
Half a page of whitespace
I want you to know, that I think its important for you to know, that its important that you know that I'm brazillian. and that I know Office Suite
KY COCkS
No KPI's or CPI's. I kind of just wasted space wherever I was
AQR
I'm still biliungual and Its important that you know this
QA
Did you know that its important that I'm bilingual
SA
I did Multicultural Sthuff. Mostly I waved sometimes I shook hands.
Education
- DID YOU know that I know stuff about other cultures. Mostly Brazil, My homeland.
I'd like to talk about my semester abroad in Brazil or how its better known abroad, Brathilia.
I was born in Brazil. Its Important that you know this.
::shrug:: ThisGuyMightBeUsefulInBrazilianRelationsDept/10
>>1199880
>that about me section
kek. i fucking love these threads
>>1199983
this video is so fucking dumb. this guy has impressive shit to put on his resume. most collehe grads dont.
>>1200708
>picture
>age
remove that shit ASAP faggot
>>1196037
Can't write correct english on my estimates/10
Into the trash it goes.
Hey you did work. Congrats. That's important to say on a resume for a job where, presumably, you might be required to work.
Metrics, Acreage, Cash/for Time. Nope that's voodeedoo, mumbo jumbo estimator stuff, I was just a laborer. No estimations here. In fact mama said Numbers are the Devil.
That's why I talk in run-on sentences.
An emphasis on Requirements, Yes exactly what I was looking for. This. THIS! is the employee all other employees should look up to.
Can you build a house?
Well, I have a reinforced understanding of how to build a house.
LL
But wait, lets talk about how amazing my boss's clients are. Then some gruntwork I did.
Assistant Laborer, Not qualified for real labor just yet.
just put Assistant or Trainee.
Vital, Life saving, knowledge of painting, tiling and plastering!
You never know when they'll get you. Its the paint and tile you don't see coming that'll knock you flat.
Education
Are most laborors educated if not put this first to make you stand out?
Profile
Nice thesaurus bro. Too bad its a run on compound sentence.
Ability to draft. I don't do it but I'm capable.
Office should be last not first
Verbally and grammatically articulate as evidenced by all the spelling and grammar errors in this.
>he doesn't know how bad it really is.
Show do not tell
Well coordinated and punctual and able to meet deadlines is proven when you arrive on time for the interview.
You don't have to say polite phone etiquette. When they call you you'll be polite.
Prioritize conflicting workloads. Tell a story in the interview. This is a talk the talk thing. People will be able to tell.
Badly needed references
This resume is a personal favor in a stack of 1000 resumes.
It actually disqualifies you for the job, proving that you have no acumen with the spoken or written word nor any applicable mathematics.
>>1195709
Your mission.
> you didn't even look up their mission statement
> form letter
Alacrity
whoo exactly what I need a cable tech with a thesaurus.
Includes but is not limited to
> can't hold down a job
> no one likes him so he's fired after 2 months
Completely irrellevant work experience section
army logistics
> failed an 8th grade level test.
in compliance with Redacted. fuck you
CSS - Concer Security Services
Let me abbreviate the name then spell it out for you
Additional remarks include but are not limited to the following.
He's thinks a dull tool among rusty tools is still worth using.
This Technician - Ah yes logistics PTSD that's exactly what I want on my workforce.
clearlyunderstands - into the trash is goes. attention to detail soldier
>>1201539
Whoosh.
>>1201446
What can I say, Portuguese is my most concrete skill. But okay, I'll consider your input.
what do you guys use to black stuff out? im about to show you what a real resume should look like
>>1201996
Don't forget to add "I don't know how to black out a document" to it
>>1195709
Opening bit was cringe.
Trashed it.
>>1197219
I'd consider hiring you, but I'd still fumble around with the two pages.
>>1198976
Cluttered as fuck
thoughts? i've been quite successful with this so far for internships for next year
>>1199845
>never gonna get a job
Feel better anon?
>>1202085
Dude, is that yours? Holy shit, no one's gonna read that. WTF who puts a fucking dating profile "about me" paragraph on their resume? Holy hell this generation is fucked. Nobody gives a shit about your special snowflake opinion of yourself. Put down the shit that you DID, make it clear & concise, and QUIT TELLING US YOUR LIFE STORY JESUS FUCKING CHRIST.
As an employer, I don't give a shit what your life story is; I just wanna know how you're going to benefit my business.
>>1202116
If you're so educated about resumes please show yours.. I'd just personally like to compare yours and mine since you actually seem to know what you're talking about.
>>1202085
>don't talk about yourself in the 3rd person
>keep your menial jobs to a sentence or 2
>someone still in school with no experience should never have a 2 page resume
>trim 60% of your resume
I am going to tell you something and hopefully you absorb it and not take it the wrong way. Confidence is good. It is a trait that is admired by most of society. Overinflated ego is bad. Later on in your career when you have actually accomplished something meaningful, by all means, milk it. Right now you are looking for internships and entry level positions though. Practice a little modesty and keep the bullshit to a minimum.
>>1202116
no one in HR but a senior engineer might if it's good writing. i'm not going to read those walls of text myself to judge if an engineering candidate who writes about working in a restaurant is on the right track (hes retarded), but in general you can get away with excessive resumes in the field.
>>1202163
This is pretty solid advice. I don't want to read about waiting tables and bartending in an engineering resume. I'm pretty sure everyone knows what a waiter does. Think of a resume more as a synopsis of what education/training you have, what (relevant) experience and skills you have, what value you will add if hired, and what goals you have (where you see yourself growing with the company). That's it. Nothing more, nothing less. It should be brief and to the point so an employer can quickly scan over it. Save the detailed explanation for the actual interview.
>>1195709
OP here; I've just decided to say "fuck it" to this opportunity to earn $45/hour as a telecomm tech scab in the next state for the summer and just go ahead and day trade my money on FOREX instead.
>>1202085
>BSc Mechanical and Manufacture Engineering
>Manufacture Engineering
>Manufacture
>University of Brighton
Remove the Manufacturing. It only shows that you are a box packer. The fact that you padded out your resume with lengthy wordy bullshit just makes it look like you're desperate to hide the fact that you are a box packer.
The only relevant things for an engineer are your projects, work experience, education, achievements, and references (for research papers, etc). But you still, for whatever fucking reason, put in shit like "Key Skills", "Personal Statement", "Hobbies and Interests".
You know the only people who put that shit on their resume are special snowflake retards in liberal arts. You know, the people who can't get a job.
If removing those sections hadn't crossed your mind this whole time, I'm sorry but you're probably retarded.
2 page resume with actual content is OK. But 2 page resume filled with fucking garbage is worse than Satan's shit.
>>1198344
Hey thanks anon, I'm working on my resume today. This really helps!
>>1199880
Wow, you are a failure.
>>1201375
people with good resumes know they don't need to post them
>>1201539
it's a copypasta u fucking retard
I'd appreciate any feedback, thanks
>>1202144
I haven't updated my resume in 4 years, because I get all my work through my network. Pic related; it's how many recruiters are banging down my linkedin since I last purged my messages in February; 90% of them are recruiters begging to offer me a job. A couple are people I don't really know asking to network; I'll probably get back to the networkers, then add the recruiters to my connection list before I purge their messages.
>>1202169
That resume isn't going to make it past HR. It's too long, doesn't look to be keyword optimized, and certainly isn't concise enough.
If the dude wants his resume to actually get seen, he needs to put it on one page, lose the "about me" statement, and get all his work experience into bullet form. If it's his first "big boy" job, he needs to put his education up top (with GPA and honors designations/clubs/leadership positions); otherwise he needs to put it on the end.
As an aside, most hiring managers don't REALLY give a fuck what you do when you're not at work. Some do, but I'd say they're the minority. Managers want you to be professional, reliable, affable, and good at your stated skill set.
As far as resume floating goes, my best advice is to try to get it through to hiring managers via unofficial channels. I've never gotten a gig by going through HR or accounts payable (freelancing) or anything. I directly contact and target myself directly at select hiring managers for firms I'd like to work for; I ask for a meeting, lament about the state of our profession for a while, and ask them to float me a few names of people looking for X or Y or Z done. Before I had relevant experience, I did the same thing but less well. Right now I have people coming to me to ask me to do work for them; when I first started working I used my first job at an F500 to build my skill set and get training and certifications paid for. Then, I leveraged my network to moonlight for extra cash, and finally cut the cord from my current gig when I realized I was making just as much money moonlighting as I was in my day job.
Granted, I'm in a career field where my skill set is in very high demand, but there's no reason the same principles can't work for other fields of study. Hell, it works for my lawyer friends, and that field is as saturated as it gets right now.
>>1202870
Not bad. Looks like you only have a few years of job experience, and a lot of certs/skills.
On a resume, the sweet spot is the center of the page. I'd put your certs there, since right now your big selling point is not your experience, but your certs and skills (assuming you plan to continue in the construction field).
That's my 2 cents, anyway. That being said, you're probably just as likely to find work by looking up local construction projects in the paper and attempting to get in touch with specific people from the company managing the work as you are applying online for construction work. Most of the people I know in construction management got into it via their contacts, or just approaching people leading projects they wanted to work on.
>>1199880
>thank you for taking the time to read this
>I'll keep it brief
>I appreicate it
Coming off a little beggy there.
Also work on your grammar.
and
>In my natural habitat
Are you wearing a fedora?
>>1202913
>example_resume.gif
He just bamboozled you nigga. Good work
>no one posting best resume format
>>1195709
Should I change: margin size? use of acronyms (NASA, ECBC, PCM, PCR maybe too many)?
>>1202072
Not bad. I can tell you aren't a retard since you kept it one page. Can you format your resume so it looks more professional? This also might be a cultural thing, but in the US, companies don't give a shit about highschool grades. Also, in the UK do referees mean references?
>>1202836
Pretty much this haha.
>>1202947
>advanced in MS office
U dumb cuck
>>1195709
I hope this is bait
>>1199880
>>1202966
Yeah referee means reference. I decided to have a look at the oxford uni website careers/cv advice - since my uni they are clueless (insisted on 2 pages and that i talk a lot about dumb shit like 'time management skills' in detail and hobbies) - and there they used referees instead of references so i just went with it.
I put my high school grades in simply because i'm still a uni student, didn't really have anything else to fill with at the time, and then also in the UK they really want you to have passed your math and english gcse (16 year olds qualification), and having those grades in those subjects at A Level displayed pretty much tells them as much
>>1202966
>>1203072
Oh and i guess, as far as I'm aware the UK high school qualifications tend to specialise a lot earlier than a high school diploma. We pick 3 or 4 - maybe 5 if you don't wish to maintain a social life or are seriously stressed about getting some top uni - subjects to complete A Levels in and theyre the only subjects you do. So you can drop maths and english after 16 years of age and potentially get into a CompSci course with just IT or something, so it helps to show that I have that background in math.
I think the difference in US and UK system is that we tend to enter uni with a higher level of understanding of the topics we chose, but probably lack the knowledge on the subjects we dropped that a high school diploma ensures you have equal(?) coverage of. This can also mean you have people who havent done math since 16 years of age and are pretty retarded when it comes to things like computation theory or any requirement for math
>>1202836
People with good resumes also get tons of good job offers
None of the resumes in this thread are good
>>1199983 >>1200493 >>1201079 >>1201303 >>1201326 >>1201329 >>1201463 >>1202678 >>1202925 >>1203004
Y'know, I think I've learnt more here on 4chins from being roasted for this than two years of help from HR """work-skill/job agency""" staff.
Thanks guys.
Guess I'd better go get some real skills and experience.
>>1203113
yeah, they're all either from shit to average. reminds me i gotta update my resume
>>1195709
>In compliance with {redacted}
What are you, some kind of fag?
>>1196189
So much whitespace it seems like you didnt have enough material to fit on a single page so you made half of it blank
>>1197219
no one gives a fuck about a summary or how you want to "improve your skills"
Employers want to know if
1. youre not a shit person
2. you can do what the job requires
3. how you work with other people and how fast you can pick up a trade
>>1198976
>listing computer skills
>listing microsoft office applications
did you mean to apply for a job in 2002?
>bachelor of arts
i see you wanted unemployment after college
>>1200488
> 4 decimal places on your GPA
Fucking retarded. Go two decimal places only, ever. You think anyone gives a shit about a thousandth of a GPA point?
>>1199880
Please just delete this and start over.
>About Me section
>>1200708
Why is everyone an art major here? Wtf?
>>1200867
Basic, but easy to follow along compared to the rest of the shit uploaded.
I'd take the time to workshop your individual points to make them more meaningful. Use work experience bullets to highlight skills.
>>1203248
Because 4chan is full of modern millennials. They complain they can't get a job while having no applicable skills, shit soft skills, shit resumes and shit degrees. If they do have skills it's "Computer Skills" or "Internet" and they think an employer who reads 100+ resumes gives a fuck about them riding a horse or playing bocce on the weekend. They are fucking useless and they think they are owed the world when the reality is you have to work for shit and can't just rely on god damn handout from people who worked hard before you. Fucking entitle pieces of shit, that's what they are
can someone fuck my shit up?
See: >>1202947
>>1202072
Not bad. There is nothing special or memorable about your header section. I'd prefer to see your left/right side items align correctly (Skills should be aligned with Work Experience).
Also, it helps to list years of experience. What is "Intermediate" in java? 1 year? 3 years?
These projects you've done are great, but are they side gigs or school projects? What was your role in them?
>>1203242
>Please just delete this and start over.
I know Anon, I know...
>I put in About Me because I couldn't even fill the page with work experience.
>tfw you realise you have nothing employable about you besides talking to people.
>>1202085
I glazed over it. You have a wall of text. Shorten the shit out of that down to one page or never get hired.
Also, use bullet points or dont use them, but make up your god damn mind.
> Achievements , Hobbies, Interests
These are items for smalltalk with your recruiter when they are done realizing how much of a newfag you are. They DONT belong on a resume.
>>1202947
why not put the accession # for the genbank sequence instead of saying all that shit? someone who knows about genbank will understand you did PCR and bioinformatics.
>>1202870
Short, concise and easy to follow. Top-align your work and education dates, they are all manner of fucked up.
>Where did it all go wrong?
>>References available on request
>>1202936
> poorly contrasted black text on green background
>trash
>>1202947
maybe try a font that isnt so bland. you have decent content but it looks like a word generated resume template.
>>1202936
i know this is a joke, but there are people who would fucking do this
>>1203270
>Art history major
>Expecting employment
Sorry, Anon.
Remove the two columns of your resume down to one column. Order it by Skills, Education, Work Experience, and then Achievements and Volunteering if you have room. Then delete the About Me section (Save it off in 2016cringe.txt in your personal archives)
- Remove "References available on request"
- Remove "Duties:" at the start of each Work Experience. It is a given.
- Suggest removing Computer Software column altogether because it is retarded.
- Certificates sound like some gay stuff (Workplace II First Aid? Sheeeeet) but keep it I guess.
- Use one tense for your verbs.
- Wordsmith your work experience to highlight skills (ergo, you don't need a skills section because it is clearly described in work experience)
>>1203270
I got hired for a graduate job about 2 weeks ago, my About Me is probably less than 100 words
>>1203290
>Expecting employment
>Sorry, Anon.
Thanks. I guess I did what I loved but forgot that love doesn't pay the bills.
I'll take your and Shao Kahn's suggestions and go rework it right now.
>>1202947
I would put the key technical proficiencies at the bottom. You're still a student so it's assumed they're lies or exaggerations.
>>1203277
Thank you
>>1203113
>repeating what someone else said in twice the amount of words
This one got me a job in a Big 4 firm.
>>1199880
Saved, thanks m8
>>1197471
the
>>1205154
Glad to be of help.
>>1199880
>worlds greatest shave
>firstly
>putting on a job you couldn't cut it at for 6 months and saying the duties basically tells them what you suck at
>entire resume is a cringefest
>>1205154
talk shit all you want but this resume actually has a lot of information on it in ONE PAGE.
take notes kiddies.
>>1205154
I'd hire this person, no joke.
MLP autismos can have great technical skills and are too beta to deny a request to work extra hours
>>1199880
>in my natural habitat
I straight spilled my coffee you autist
>>1199880
First paragraph of About me section is gold. Keep it.
Clean the other two up. After that intro stands out, you can afford to be a little dry again.
This got me my job Im starting in a few days.
>>1196070
Where can I find this template
>>1206994
> virginity level 23?
>Wo haste Job bekommen, und wie viel Asche wirst du machen?
Hows this one, I just want any plain job for the summer before I start grad school.
I feel like 'skills and abilities' needs more fluff
>>1207077
>DLR
>45k (08/15 Öffentlicher Dienst income)
Probably going to go for PhD.
>>1207111
You probably know this but if you do it for the money, then it's not worth it.... and I have no idea why else anybody would ever want to get a PhD in your situation.
>>1206994
>Masterarbeit
I dont think you should put your fapping skills on a resume, guy
>>1207096
take out "Objective" you shit head
>>1207133
Yea I know, I wanna do science stuff otherwise I would have grabbed a 60k job at Siemens or whatever.
Don't really wanna make a thread for this, so I'll just go ahead and ask here: How the blueballed fuck do you write a cover letter for an ecommerce company that gives you no names of managers/HR people to write it to?
>>1207296
To Whom It May Concern,
[insert same text as if you had a name here]
>>1207096
>cum laude
I'll say
>>1207390
Should net me 100k/yr right?
Anyone got any more advice for me?
>>1200488
Submitting my application for the position tomorrow. Also am happy with whatever cover letter advice anyone has. All I know is to keep it to 3/4ths a page at maximum, and to be to the point and direct.
Thanks
>>1207296
Call them! Ask who will be receiving your application, and if you get a name then there you go. It shows drive and initiative. No reason not to do it desu.
>>1196490
kicked out for gay?
Any comments, suggestions would be much appreciated, actually just put together this last night.
>>1206115
>First paragraph of About me section is gold. Keep it.
I legitimately can't tell if you're actually being serious in and off this moment...
Also, I was told no business cares about what you did if it's over three to fives years ago (excluding major projects).
>>1207779
>from the desk of
Do not like this
>Grey font
Probably a bad idea, just makes it slightly harder for people to read
>Experience
Good but perhaps try to add some results/feedback you received in addition to saying what you did. If possible
>education
We usually include a couple of grades in the UK, usually English and Mathematics grade. Maybe you guys don't
>>1207842
Thanks for the advice man. The template I was using included the, "from the desk of", that's why I used it. I guess I'll change the font to black since you brought it up, see how that looks.
Education, from what I've seen is always usually pretty brief. Just listing the school and what degree you earned.
>>1195709
If you go to the unemployment office they will give you several templates & word guides to unfuck your shit.
Is it bad its 3 pages?
>>1195709
Get rid of the word "your". Should be whatever mission.
>>1209533
What Job are you applying for?
>>1202085
>all that pointless shit
into the trash with a vengeance
>>1202085
Holy fuck this is worse than I imagined. You have grammar errors galore. Your last sentence in your 'personal statement' is downright pathetic
>>1207779
>high school
take off
What's the best way to explain a 1 year gap after college in a cover letter?
>>1210190
you dont
>>1210190
unless you did something amazing during that gap which is relevant to the job
My god what the fuck is that fucking shit. List specific jobs you have worked for. If you haven't had a specific job at least list specific tasks that you have completed in training. Tone down the font. Drop anything having to do with you and the entire last section. Should be entirely in the third person. Look up normal examples on google.
This isn't complete fucking trash, but. If you are in American this absolutely needs to be 1 page, if you are in Europe where they have CVs it could be 2, but even then you should be reducing the spacing drastically. Things either need to be in the present or past tense under a single job (like how you can't change tenses during a paragraph).
Congrats though, if I were a shit tier employer I would hire you, unlike the first which I am throwing out under every conceivable circumstance.
I disagree with everyone else, this is fucking terrible. You need to actually say what you did during your work experience. You can't just say responsible for. Of course you were fucking responsible for tasks? Did you actually complete them? Better yet, did you complete them well, can you give me numbers / facts to back this up? Did you go above and beyond the call of duty. You should add multiple bullet-points per page and use it to reduce the ridiculous amount of white space on your resume. I also prefer a top header to a side header so that you aren't wasting side to side space subsequently throughout the whole resume.
Strike from the desk of
Talk about what you accomplished, not what your responsibilities were. For example, I had to re-shelf shelves should be re-shelved shelves daily or some BS like that.
Make those accomplishments in the form of bullet points.
Strike out the cheerful demanor in experience, make it more professional.
The cheerfulness can be kept in the about me, your about me actually talks about work which is sooo much better than most of the idiots in this thread.
Can someone check if my resume is ok? I wanna get a job in Germany. Also to be honest my current job is not really office related. I work at sales stuff at a store and do some sales reports but mainly I just talk to customers coming into our store. How can I use this as advantage to get a job in office?
>>1210444
>no blood type listed
penn_jilette.jpg
>>1210458
I think bloody type is not required outside of Japan
>>1210462
AB detected
Biology grad, I think my resume is alright am I adding too much work information?
>>1202072
> obviously geard towards IT
> "B" in computing while "A" in math
yeah just clear that off
>>1195789
Why the fuck would he post his real contact information to 4chan? /biz/ isn't that bad but containment boards leak sometimes.
>>1211788
close the spaces in your sections. way too much blank space
>>1211788
also for coursework, i would add a second column next to the ecology column. add in classes like math or dick sucking remediation. fill up that white space, you already dedicated several lines to your courses
>>1211788
Is this real? Are you bring facetious?
One last general note for anyone thinking about sending in a two-page resume: don't. Multi-page resumes are for internal purposes and proposals, not for landing a job. Stick to one page UNLESS YOU ARE AN ABSOLUTE GOD IN YOUR FIELD. If you're applying for a job and you haven't created a working alchemy machine, stick to one page.
Going off to uni this fall. I'll be applying for on-campus jobs later this summer. Should I put the university in my education category even though I have not yet attended, or leave it off for the first job and then add it once I start actually taking classes?
>>1211788
2/10
>>1199880
I was having a bad day today, thank you for this anon.
What are some skills that i can put on my resume? I see that languages and computing skills are things you can place in a resume; what are some other skills?
>>1209533
Get rid of the references and say you'll provide references upon request or something. What's the point of having references when they don't like your resume to begin with?
Also, you have too much text
