There is a job I feel I'm perfect for due to my talents and experiences, but I have a 10 year employment history gap mostly due to disability. How can I score this job and account for that time? I did volunteer to a degree in a field that may be sort of related to the job.
lie
http://dropcanvas.com/zpf5p
As it So happens this is answered in Ramits Resume Makeover and DreamJob Courses.
please see
hiremeplz
&
triplemaxwageslave*
dedlinks will be up in a few hours.
Give them other criteria to evaluate then your resume. Like do actual work related to the job and give it to them.
I looked into your company and saw x, y, and z problems. I took the liberty of outlining the steps I'd take to resolve them and some budget outlines.
> open briefcase
> click
>click
Hand them what is literally your first 90 days on the job.
If your work is good consider yourself hired.
So you were disabled for 10 years but now you're okay?
>>1134322
The resume is easier to bs. It's the application that I don't know what to say on. I was considering only adding the previous 3 jobs that are relevant to the job I'm applying for. Do you think they'd be alright with that?
>I looked into your company and saw x, y, and z problems. I took the liberty of outlining the steps I'd take to resolve them and some budget outlines.
>open briefcase
>click
>click
>Hand them what is literally your first 90 days on the job.
Holy shit no. That sort of presumption would get most people shitbinned instantly. This isn't a movie. And the position is for a sales associate, not a fucking managerial position.
>>1134328
Sort of? No? Better? I mean it's all very complicated. I withdrew from the world for like a decade and during that time I received disability. I still do but now I'm trying to actually join the living more or less.
>>1134242
Lie, say you were self employed but shit happened and your business failed. Worked for me multiple times and I had a six year unemployment gap. How are they going to prove you didn't own some home business sucking cocks for money?
>>1134322
Are, you, Chinese ?
>>1134339
I considered that. Good employers check for records. I don't honestly know how people get away with this. My employers ALWAYS check shit like this.
>>1134322
I don't see "triplemaxwageslave"
>>1134334
What disability did you have?
>>1134347
For several mental/emotional things.
>>1134322
>hiremeplz
File with urls. Enough of this bullshit.
>>1134334
Its for fucking Sales.
> I looked into your company, and saw x, y, and z untapped markets. I took the liberty of conducting a cursory study on the price sensitivity of the market.
> click
> click
As you can see from
the study you'll be able to upsell them q% from your current offerings. @ 1% turnover you'll make a Gorrillian Shekels.
I'd like to add; that's how I sell. By doing my homework and communicating with integrity. I've done my homework on you and believe in your mission and that's why I want to work here. I'd also like special consideration for a commission and salary increase in 90 days. Can you do that?
did you read that part about the dead links. the tmws will be up in a few hours.
>>1134353
dropcanvas only allows a certain bandwidth can't host there. just plug and chug with Jdownloader.
Sorry for being a lazy pirate.
You might be able to find the course on kickass or pirate bay.
Find Your Dream Job by Ramit Sethi.
>>1134348
>muh feelings
Lol I'm quitting my job for this reason but I'll just manage my dads business in the meantime and pick up "disability" checks for some extra spending money
I quit my career to be a stay at home dad. Wife makes 3x what I did when I left
I'm already nervous about finding a job 5 years from now when the kids are in school
I'm a good liar, I've lied in every interview I've had
But I think the clear path will be dehumanizing temp work, then quickly hired when management realizes I'm not an idiot
Every temp job I've had (two) has asked me to stay permanently
Go to a temp agency, OP. Then prepared to get your ass reamed financially by them
When you land a job, befriend everyone, involve yourself socially, and work really hard. Eventually you'll get a perm position. At this point, slack off, lose your mind, and fail again
>>1134242
Can't believe it only took you 10 years to slay that 12-headed dragon, Anon
>>1134348
"Emotional" things for 10 years? What did you do in the meantime?
>>1134435
>stay at home dad
For your wife's son? How he's doing nowadays?
Tell them that you had your own landscaping business.
make a facebook page with pictures that you found on the web and with fake reviewers.
go to random people's houses with nice lawns, hold a rake, and have someone take a picture of you
get some business cards for your business that has your facebook page on it.
>>1134446
We had twins in a city where daycare for white people costs over $20k per kid. My income was $55k. Factoring in a second car, two hours of commuting, and daycare, I dropped the career
We are simple-living bums who like to squirrel away money and live bohemian. We're buying and RV to driving through S.America before the kids have to go to school
>>1134495
>Daycare for white people
Is there also Daycare for black people? Is it separate and what's the difference in price?
What about Ashkenazi's? Is there a different rate or facilities?
>>1134322
>Hand them what is literally your first 90 days on the job.
A 30-60-90 day plan? For someone who can't figure out how to tell the truth? C'mon Li, I thought you were better than this. Op is obviously not going for a management position where the 90 day aspect of a 30-60-90 is going to work.
>>1134415
>I'd like to add; that's how I sell. By doing my homework and communicating with integrity.
If someone ever said this shit to me I'd stop them mid-sentence and tell them to get the fuck out of my office. This gives the impression that you're an uppity know it all who knows his prospective superiors' jobs better than they do. Employers do not like that.
>>1134420
Well whatever the case, the gap exists, but I wonder if it's even important since I have other experience more relevant surrounding the gap on both ends.
>>1134435
>Go to a temp agency, OP. Then prepared to get your ass reamed financially by them
Nah, in my area it's all shit I don't want. Mostly just shit dirty factory work. This job is actually something I would really like that matches my skills and knowledge.
>>1134438
Lol I'm putting this.
>Gated to the Elemental plane of fire
>Left arm burnt off, used a spell to regenerate it
>I'm better now, time for the rat race
>>1134441
Pretty much nothing. I just withdrew. There was SOME volunteer work.
>>1134500
For city-dweller adults living in the real world, yes, there are white people daycares, jewish daycares, and pleb tier daycares
If you care about your children being treated lovingly and not coming home with a different form of AIDS every week, you shell out for the $22k hippie daycare center for white people
You probably live in the suburbs and don't know. One day you might
>>1134446
>For your wife's son?
Every time.
>>1134415
why don't you just link the URLs or list them in a pastebin
>>1134322
what are dedlinks
>>1134538
Because it's probably not even what he says it is so he's creating a bullshit wild goose hunt.
Claim you sat in jail for child porn
>>1134543
well Li Sheng seems like a good egg so I tried the link in entourageRam.txt because presumably that is where "Ramits Resume Makeover" is, I opened the 7z.001 file with winrar and this is the result, looks like a bunch of files associated with a presentation but I don't know what I'm supposed to use to read it
>>1134517
protip, hire people smarter than you.
The customer is not always right
If you're there to learn than say that and kiss their ass about work they did. but you're in a job interview to sell yourself. Talk big. Be bigger.
>>1134540
forgot to include second asterisk
some of the links are down/dead am reupping dat dere course. 42/52 files up
>>1134538
I may do that.
Right now the links are not live and not scannable by bots. Is there a way to do something similar in pastebin?
>>1134593
checking brb
>>1134593
ahh sorry thats a bad siterip. will purge.
http://www.iwillteachyoutoberich.com/blog/ramits-definitive-guide-to-building-your-network-with-scripts/
>>1134249
This.
There's likely no way to explain a 10 year employment gap that they will accept.
>>1134631
page was broken here are videos linked from sourcecode
https://youtu.be/7BSE2Rbny84
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3p28MFt8RBA
>>1134495
20k per kid
>not getting a hot eastern euro live in nanny for 30k a year
you fucked up
>>1134322
>>1134346
>>1134540
links up
go slay that dragon anon
>>1134712
Forgot to add:
Ching-chong ping pong, walla walla ding dong.
>>1134517
>Severe disability
>Later admits it was nothing
So you just did nothing for a decade?
How the fuck did you survive? Why didn't your parents kick your ass out?
>>1134823
I lived on my own basically as a hermit.
>>1134495
>daycare for white people costs over $20k per kid
LMAOING AT BREEDERS
added Ramit's Instant Network as recompense.
So the Shame and Dishonor on my Famiry may one day be forgotten.
is under sINs of the poo IN loo
>>1134863
How did you afford it?
>>1134869
Fuck off with your viruses you chink fuck
No one is downloading your bullshit
>>1134870
Disability, dummy.
>>1134890
>Disability
What was your illness though?
What did you do every day for 10 years? If you didn't work or have school that's 16 hours a day of free time. How did you fill them?
>>1134887
>Do you really want to work there
Beggars, especially in OP's case can't really be choosers. He's not a highly skilled professional to be raising his nose at employers and saying "this benefit package and options are too low, are you trying to disrespect me and my grey head of experiences?"
>>1134872
You are welcome whoever you are.
>>1134899
Maybe, but getting fired by a derpy employer makes it harder to get a different job. Once OP gets off disability, he may have trouble getting back on and then he'll really be stuck.
>tfw actions really do have consequences
>tfw this guy will be miserable for his whole life
>>1134322
> open briefcase
> click
> click
mmyeah. I'm gonna need you to get the fuck out of my office
>>1135153
Don't Trust them.
Try it see if it works. If it doesn't, into the trash it goes.
I have a degree in graphic arts I did use so anytime I have a big gap I just say I freelanced or sold art/cartoons to people online. It got me a job about two years back.
