>>1097175

give up hope

or go outside maybe? You realize that your chances of being hired are about 1000x better in person right?

Do volunteer work for a couple months.

>>1097175
eye contact
firm handshake

>>1097175
try r9k

>>1097175
>bullshit a resume
>check out craigslist email/gigs section
>check out entry level/no experience jobs
>send email w/ 1 paragraph cover letter, and resume attached
profit???

>>1097449
This landed me a badass job do recommend but you seem a little to stupid to follow through

>>1097175
I seem to recall that the main problem with this kind of situations is the very root of it, the origin of your current state.

please tell me OP.

why are you a neet in first place?
how have you been making the ends meet?

>>1097182
For real. These fucking people

>>1097454
what kind of job

>>1097175
You fill out the online app, then you go in and ask to speak with manager or whoever will be making hiring decisions, introduce yourself and let them know you filled out the online app. You got to put your face to the name. You follow up in a week, or whenever they tell you to check again. Keep doing this, make getting a job your (at least) part time job, and you will succeed.

Now get the fuck out there and beat that pavement, every day.

During college I worked at a restaurant as a cook for $11 dollars an our. Nothing special but restaurants are desperate for cooks and will hire you with little experience. (Of course I'm talking about Applebees, Buffalo WW, Ruby Tuesday types.)

>>1097175
Lie on your fucking resume you dumb ass everyone lie on theirs.
So why would you?

>>1097458
>why are you a neet in first place?
Can't hold a conversation with people. Mind goes blank, never had friends.

>>1097466
That's not fucking true at all, almost anywhere you walk in and ask for a resume they'll say "it's on our website"

Idiot

>>1097175
Call them.

1. Create a resume - find one on google images that works for you and copy the style and the format. Add in your shit.

2. Buy some paper and manilla folders and print out a resume and put it into each folder.

3. Write an individual cover letter for each place that you apply to.

4. Buy a nice shirt, a tie, dress pants and shoes and get a hair cut.

Say you have tons of availability and want to stay for atleast 5 years, research the company, look on glassdoor about the interview questions and process, also watch videos on youtube about how to interview and write the answers to common interview questions. Glassdoor will help you here, just google the questions that are commonly asked in the interview based on what people have said about the company and then write them down.

Submit the online resumes and have a .pdf of your resume ready and a printed copy to assist with filling out online apps. Have a piece of paper with printed contacts (you are going to have to get family to pose as co-workers and managers), put down experience from stores that closed. Also fast food joints, just call and ask who the manager was before the current manager there became the new one. Put that down as experience.

On the resume add 3 places you worked, your education, fake volunteer experience, and your contact info. Make it a page long.

Look on the web for some cover letter templates that you like, but are not easily found with a single google search.

Also, try for Subway. All you do is put shit out on the floor, bake some bread, and ask people what they want on their sandwiches that are listed on a board right in front of you.

Good luck.

Do all this shit and don't stop calling them back every couple of days. Wait two days before calling and ask for the status of your application.

>>1097175

Spam like one hundred thousand online applications. Seriously, some jobs require no expertise.

Apply in person at local retail jobs.

How to 'get a job' these days, is basically persistence.

>>1098713
find a stocking job in retail. All of the neets and nigs work in the back.

>>1097175
Everyone lies out their ass
Step up your bullshit game

I haven't worked since '09 either and I've got four jobs on my resume. You can call any of the relevant contacts and get glowing recommendation for me from the people who actually run those businesses.

I've been busy in college and didn't want to simultaneously work while fulltime CC then university.
Instead I've got connections.

>>1098713
this
can't go to a psychiatrist for fear they might not take me seriously
is soduku the only way?

>>1097472
Nigger breeder

Work online bro there's plenty of ways to make bank if you put in the effort to research them. In college I made enough to pay rent and buy food and booze every month doing surveys and shit on MTurk. And that's from only a few hours a day.

>>1097175
Get this thought into your mind while looking. "It doesn't hurt to ask"

If possible, for whatever job you apply that has a physical location reachable to you, go in and ask for the boss/manager/whatever fucker and let them know you want the job. This gives them an impression and picture of you to match before the hundreds of other applicants who send online and think that's it. When you do this, also always be prepared for an onthespot interview. If it happens, they are giving you a chance to be hired or denied right then and there.

>>1097175
Join a MLM and succeed instead. Nowadays you dont even have to spend a frivolous amount on product to sell like that anime in your pic. Theyll give you a website to sell out of their warehouse for your customer's orders

>>1098713
>Can't hold a conversation with people. Mind goes blank, never had friends.

i have the same problem, never had a job until a year ago at age 27
i applied for UPS and got hired immediately loading the trucks. you should give it a shot

jobs-ups.com/

>>1099688
Don't do this. Asos Harsin type of folks always lie.

>>1099062
>can't go to a psychiatrist for fear they might not take me seriously

wat

seriously wat

christ you were not kidding were you

A psychiatrist is paid to take you seriously for christs sake, if you need help, go to one ffs. He might get you autism/neet bucks as well

Honestly, try to find a store that does take a physical resume, you already tried online. Some exist and you are missing some chances at that job. Try a local furniture place, small local restaurants, a non franchise paint shop.
>Also under no circumstances can you jack off for two days prior to going into the store to drop off your resume, or go on the interview. It will make you lose your edge. Trust me.

>>1100406

I would advise being careful, though, because new mental health laws may or may not make mental health findings something that can be found by background checks.

>>1100406
i said that because i was planning on going to a gubment subsidized one, instead of the one who i was personally going to pay in full.
They'll still get their salary if they laugh at me in the face. Less work for them.

>>1100710
not him but jesus christ man, get it together. Do you really think they'd spend 6-8 years in university to laugh at a client. People go to shrinks all the time for depression/anxiety/self diagnosed autism shit.
On a side note look into forex, a way to earn money without having to get your ass off the computer. Takes a bit of research and training but if you're disciplined enough to learn the ins and outs you should be fine.

>>1097175
just keep on being the best you can aka NEET , no changing now op, unless you won money a lot of it.