You can travel through time but your destination is always the current moment

i wish i had an mp3 player in my head that would always play music to perfectly suit me at that moment
i could control the volume and turn it on or off via my brain

>>695299778
the quality is so shit it's unplayable.

Granted but it's always a Nickleback song.

I wish I could become invisible at will

>>695300066
You are more and more likely to get super AIDs with each attemp.

I can shoot fire out my penis.

>>695300387
But you have a urethra infection

>I wish i had a father

>>695300617
your father leaves you immediately

I wish I could read minds

>>695299778
one day it gets jammed and that song playing over and over 24/7 drives you insane

>>695300747
you can read minds, but you are retarded.

>>695300965
I wish i could fly

>>695299875
>9875▶
>>>695299778
kek

I wish my cock was the size of a nigger's

>>695301061
You can fly, but only 3 feet above the ground.

I wish I could change my gender at will.

>>695301061
Your flight control is inverted randomly

>I wish I could have all games on Steam.

>>695301061
Granted but you can only fly for 1 second every 3 hours

>>695301061
Granted, but only inside an airborne aircraft

>>695301164
the nigger has a micropenis

>>695301164
Granted but now you're black

I wish I could teleport to anywhere on the planet

>>695301164
but it has huge, disgusting bumps on it, and the tip is always flacid. but only the tip.

I wish I could xray at will, and see through clothing.

>>695301061
You can but only 1 inch off the ground
>>695301164
The average nigger's cock size is shortened to 1 inch

>>695301438
You also see through skin, revealing the skeleton underneath

>I wish I could morph my body to whatever I wanted it to look like

I wish I had a gf

>>695299483

/thread

>>695301438
Xray penetrates to skeletal/muscular level

I wish I could be OP and not suck fat dong

I wish I could make friends more easily, with people I want to be friends with, without any illegal activities going on, they like me for me, and I determine how long I want to remain friends with them, regardless of where they are.

>>695301733
Thread ends, but you're still stuck on /b/

>>695301718
She fucks other people in your bed.

>>695301581
Granted but now you always want to look like a fat femnazi

I wish trump was president of the world

>>695301205
Done, but you can only change it in Internet chat rooms.

>>695301420
Done. Keep in mind that anything you materialize around will be stuck in your body, and after a few uses outside of a vacuum your organs will fail from all the dust and shit.

I wish for the power to move you trough rock ballads.

>>695301718
You have a gf but she has the AIDS.

I wish I had more smokes

>>695301987
Granted but no one recognizes his sovereignty, not even amurika

>>695301839
All your friends end up being imaginary
>I wish i has super speed

>>695302035
granted, but it required a pact with satan and he's going to collect in 13 years.

>>695302035
Granted, but it only moves people away from you.

>>695301718

Your gf is extremely religious and wont even kiss before marriage

I wish i could revive the dead

>>695301852
deep

>>695302112
>with people

>>695302071
Granted, but the smokes are your fingers and they never grow back.

>>695302112
Granted but now you're addicted to meth

>>695298603
I wish for lies to be foul smelling like farts

>>695302241
They're still rotten af, essentially rendering them sentient chunks of meat.

>>695302322
Checked

>>695301741
Done, but this thread ceases to exist, which means your wish wouldn't be made, which means OP would suck fat dong again, trapping you in a paradox loop.

I wish for a glass of clean, gently-chilled water.

>>695302241
Granted, but you can only revive dead birds.

I wish that I could transform my body to my liking.

>>695302241
Granted but anyone you revive wants nothing but to kill you for reviving them

>>695302388
Granted, truth smells worse

>>695298603
granted, but only forward in time, by one second intervals

>>695302450
It's a shot glass

>>695302241
Granted, but they come back as zombies

>>695298603
i wish black lives didn't matter

>>695302450
Granted, but you will never be able to drink the water. It will spill on you no matter what.

I wish I didn't have to feel anymore

>>695302450
Water is collected from your mother's vagina, filyeted, and chilled to your liking

>>695299778

Can only play Justin Bieber.

>>695302472
Granted but anyone can change your body to their liking as well.

>>695302388
granted
two thirds of relationships end over the next year

>>695302659
Granted, but then white people become oppressed

>>695298603
i wish for more wishes

>>695301243

You have all games on steam but the only ones that with are MLP.

>>695302659
Granted, but you become black

>>695302700
Granted, but you're still completely conscious.

I wish I could control others' minds

I wish I could instantly travel anywhere in the universe any time I wanted.

I wish I had uncorruptable wishes to not be tampered with from the effects of this wish. They will be just as powerful. They will be as plentiful as I want. No negative effects shall stem from this one, and before the wish itself is granted, I am made aware of any side effects that may occur, and I can edit them or erase them if I wanted.

>>695302879

Wishes are powered by human lives. Every wish you make a random person dies.

>>695302885
that's not a twist
that's just not granting the wish

>>695302921
Granted but they can control your mind as well.

>>695302388
Done, but all language smells like shit, and you're the only one who can smell it.

I wish I knew I didn't have to settle for a shitty bulbasaur for my first Pokemon Go monster.

>>695302954
Granted, but you'll always reappear as a different species

>>695302921

Can only control the minds of squirrels.

>>695302886
Damn...

>>695302999
fuck
how edgy and selfish should i be?
also chekt

>>695302954
granted, but you can only go there for a millisecond one time

>>695302806
Whoa, whoa, whoa. Let's not get silly about this.

>>695302954
...but you cant choose the location

>>695302954
The friction from travelling so fast kills you.

>>695298603
Granted, but you can only travel into the middle of major battles and inquisitions

>>695303014

No. He wished for all steam games. He has them all. But only MLP games work.

I wish I could do a 360 and walk away

I wish I could do really good celebrity impressions.

I wish that I had a qt sex slave

>>695301243
Granted, but you can never use a computer again.

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I wish Anita Sarkeesians asshole was surgically attatched to my mouth, human centipede style.

>>695301243
Granted, but you are now in debt for the worth of the games.

>>695303345
Grsnted, they only sound good to you, and you pull them out whenever there is an awkward silence

>>695303345
You can do a really good celebrity impression of only Nicholas Cage

>I wish for dat boi to be a good meme again

>>695302999
https://youtu.be/LJQ-LZYAMBQ

>>695303324
You can only walk forward.

>>695298603
>I wish I could travel through time

Everytime you time travel you gain ten years in age and your dick shrinks by 1 inch.

>>695303424
Granted, but Anita Sarkeesians asshole was surgically attatched to your mouth

I wish that I could grant wishes, and choose whether to tack on a horrible twist or not.

>>695303599
What's the negative?

>>695303535
granted, but it replaces the banana as the killer of ylyls

>>695303324

Granted, but you turn too fast and break your legs every time.

>>695303561
Does that mean eventually he'll turn into a woman or just a man with an inverse dick?

>>695303648
Granted, you can't grant your own wishes.

>>695303324

You walk into a wall, everyone laughs at how clumsy you are.

>>695303424
Granted. The rest of her body, however, is not attached. She will be forever deformed with her surgically reconstructed anus, while you are left with a shriveled dead ring of flesh attached to your lips.

I wish I wasn't a person that went on b

I wish I could violently shart on whoever replies to this

>>695298603
I wish I could fuck gradeschool girls and get away with it. That's my go to superpower.

>>695303729
YESSSSSSSSSSSSSS

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I want to become a girl

>>695298603
I wish that no one will grant my wish.

>>695303890
you aren't, but now your mother iz ded

>>695302965
Did I beat 4chan

>>695300617
Your name is Luke Skywalker

>>695303890
You spend all day on /mlp/

>>695303950
UGLY AND FAT. AND SMELLY.

>>695303424
>Not wishing her mouth was surgically attached to your anus so she could no longer open her mouth to say dumb shit

>>695303950
Granted but you are the ugliest, fattest and hairiest girl. You also are retarded and in special school.

>>695303899
But dubs nigga

>>695303950
Wish granted, but you're now the 13-year-old wife to a 56-year-old lebanese dude

>>695303324
granted, you now have extreme vertigo and can no longer 360 and walk away

>>695303890
granted, but you have to watch everything that's uploaded to /gif/ without being able to touch yourself

>>695303890
But you are a normie.

>>695303908
A train of guys violently rape after each time


I wish I could stay submerged for hours.

>>695299483
Jesus Christ that's brilliant.

>>695303790
I don't give a shit.

>>695303950
Your wish is granted, but you're 85 years old.

>>695303966

Granted, your wish is granted but isn't but is.

>>695303950

Granted, but your born in Japan as a second born during the one child maximum period.

>>695303908
Granted, but your dick falls off if you enjoy it.

>>695303899
AAAAAYYYYYY

I wish Hitler came back to life

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>>695302965
Except you're a total faggot, but you were born without an asshole or a dick so no faggots want you so you die alone.

>>695303950
granted but you retain your man voice

>>695304193
but you feel like you're drowning the whole time

>>695303950

Granted, but you become end up being Ted Cruz's transgender friend.

>>695298603
I wish I could fly like an angel

>>695304013

No, is just so goddamn gay no one wants to waste their time.

>>695303899
granted, you shart so violently your internal organs fall out and you die instantly

>>695304153
Beat me to it.

>you become prophet Muhammed's child bride

(If she even lived to 13, taking Muslim cock in her tiny orifices for years on end)

>>695298603
when i think of any woman while jacking off they get inseminated by my seed

>>695304297
granted but he's now an SJW feminist

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I wish the world would explode and kill everyone

>>695303541
haha that was pretty good

>>695302965
You become psychotic believing you have created the perfect wish. But your psychosis is infinite bliss so it's technically not a negative affect. You live out the rest of your life in a dream world in your mind.

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i want to have hacks in real life

>>695304297
Granted but he's a SJW

>>695304493
The chromosomes of niggers survive, and an alien race recreates them.

>>695304243
But then how would I fuck Loli children?

>>695304313
I refuse those side effects.

>>695302965
Granted, but it's all a delusion.

>>695304313
Granted, but you are also 200% fucking

>>695304493
granted you're the only one alive and you float through space all alone for eternity

>>695304234
Somehow I really enjoyed this. I hope the universe implodes now.

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>>695303406
Done. Enjoy your bondage-themed body pillow. For reals, tho, learn to enjoy it, because you can never let it go.

>>695303324
Yes, but the Xbox bady chafes your penis.

>>695303424
Okay, but she's not attached to it, so you just end up looking like assface from Preacher.

>>695304379
But everytime you try to fly you crash and burn to hell

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>>695304332
https://clyp.it/ikfugyvf

>>695304343
>implying im not already transgender

>>695304379
Granted, but angels don't exist so you still can't fly.

>>695304546
I refuse those side effects.

I think I created That Kid in wish form

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>>695304693
I would be ok with this
>>695304631
but not this

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I wish I could change my reality the way i see fit

>>695304889
You're never aware of those side effects. Everyone else thinks you're in a vegetative coma.

I wish that it would be legal to lynch niggers and Jews for one day

>>695298603
I wish that my wish isn't even granted and I get the worst stipulations ever.

I wish that I get sent to jail and fucked by NIGGERS

I wish a nigger would tongue my anus

>>695304379
You imagine you can fly like a made up thing, but now you have intestinal cancer.

>>695304705

Granted, but it simultaneously explodes so it ends up staying the same.

>>695298603
You can only travel through time forwards, and a normal time speed.

>>695304978
Reality only changes for you, everyone else is unnaffected. They seek to think you're delusional when interacting with you.

>>695304553
Granted, but you become a character in a video game and that becomes your real life.

>>695304553
Real life becomes populated with screaming 11 year olds who have infinite money

>>695305025
Granted, but the jew hunt is eternal, it never ends. Also fit every jew you kill you have to kill 4 NIGGERS

>>695304978

Granted, but you are content with everything the way it is.

>>695304647
You could, you just couldn't enjoy it.

>>695305128
>>695305187
aw man

>>695305019
Ah but as you see, part of the wish is being aware of any side effects.

This is so aggravating and im the one that made it.

>>695302965
Granted, but everyone will ignore it and somehow give it a twist anyway

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>>695305211
MIND.FUCKING.BLOWN.

>>695305211
I wish Americans weren't so dumb and won't actually elect trump

>>695305025
Granted but you become a nigger or jew.

I wish all the trap threads, fur and loli shit would get the fuck off /b/

>>695304013
Every one of your smarmy shit-eating conditions counts as another wish. Your wish for incorruptible wishes is incorruptible, and you run out of wishes, since the "wish for more wishes" was like your fourth wish.

Also the genie shits in your mouth for being a douche about it.

>>695302659
They dont. Dumb nigger

>>695305376
Trump takes control of the militairy, becoming a god dictator. No longer elected.

I wish that Ben Garrison becomes president of the USA

>>695305229
>implying I still wouldn't get off making them do things (like lick/tongue my anis)

>>695305478
granted but jacob and thomas dies.

>>695305506
I wish Trump didn't exist, and America disappeared with it. Bye!

>>695305541
granted by all gays including you are wiped out of existance into next year

>>695299778
All of the songs are sung just off key enough to be slightly irritating.

>>695305376
Granted, they elect Hitler instead as he is resurrected by Nazi time travelers and complete the Final Solution with the Crucifixion of Bernie Sanders

>>695305541

Granted, Turns out he is Lincoln on his way to Ford's Theater, cut to President Garrison watching "Bedazzled" and hating himself.

>>695302965
This is why no one wanted to play with you as a kid.

>>695298603
I wish I was a super sayian

every time i jack off to someone i know they get pregnant

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>>695305653
I wish Trump's toupee jumps off his skull and kills him like a facehugger from aliens. Then it gets elected and America is great once again.

>>695300066
Yes, but the laws of physics still apply so you're completely blind while invis.

>>695305478
Granted, /b/ is now the only place that doesn't have them now while the rest of the internet is exclusively traps, furs, and loli shit.

>>695305851
granted but you get turned into a emo

>>695305851

Granted, you know yourself, you are constantly getting pregnant.

>>695304493
Granted. It's a metaphorical explosion of happiness, leading to a painless death that takes 90 years, and you're unaffected by any of it, leaving you as the only sad person on the planet.

>>695305716
I'm okay with this

Hitler>Trump

>>695305873
Granted, but the toupee must be constantly fed in order to keep America great. You are its first meal.

I wish Mayonnaise was a gender

I wish I had the worlds fastest snap reflexes and eyesight.

>>695302965
The thread ends

>>695305851
Granted, but the become pregnant with a nigger that is immune to abortion

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>>695305488
Since when does being very particular with descriptions count as multiple wishes

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>>695305376
>implying hillary is abetter choice

stfu u uneducated foreign faggot. sick of ppl like you bashing trump when shillary is LITERALLY the devil.

>>695306096
Granted, but mayonnaise now replaces women

>>695306121
granted but God's anti cheat banned you for hacking.

I wish all the wishes here actually came true.

>>695305851
Granted, but you have to pay child support.

>>695306121
Granted, but your eyelids are sewn shut and your fingers are fused together