Shall I grab some milk?

"i have not enough bucks to pay you"

>>695283608
"My eyes are great and uveitis free."

Cleaned up a little back here. Took off the child barrier. Looks much better

I don't let ppl read my stories

yeah. I was just thinking id join it because I bought myself a DSLR with money I made for doing security work for various companies.

"Do you like anime"

"Hey you ready"

My fucking GF fell asleep.

you're worth even more :) night baby, see you in the morning

>>695283608
"Hour-ish, and yes"

Hopefully you smile, ok?

"I don't like midget porn either"

>>695284230
Lies, you love midget porn.

>>695284325
...Ok...maybe

>whatever bye
Gf and I are not doing so well right now

I could probably come over today if it means anything

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"I miss you"

>>695283608
See you then. X

>>695284531
Beta af

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My neighbor from a week ago.

Baby :3

"Hell yeah!! How was your walk?"

gracias

>>695283608
how many times do I have to tell your dumbass to lock the back fucking door?? when u get home im beating the fuck out you dumb bitch

>>695283608
i said k see you
She: k love see you tomorrow (i talked with her for 2 hours and she dtf)

>>695283608
relax, it's another spot for her to play.

>>695283608
"burgers and steak"


thats probably the manliest thing I've ever texted to a girl besides my cock

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"Alright, I understand. I'll try to talk to you later, be safe, alright?"

A little context is that she's moving out of town for a month or so, last thing she said to me was.

"I'm sorry, I'll try to talk to you as soon as I can. Talk to you when I get there."

It's going to be a long 2 months

>>695284714
well now I'm just depressed

>>695284955
No, it is the manliest thing you've sent a woman
Nice dubs BTW

Don't be.

>>695283608
what is the most exotic or strange thing you ever had in your mouth?

Please fuck off
#dicksoutforharambe

"Let's hang out this weekend. I got the good stuff ;)"

>>695283608
you havent responded yet. im just letting you know incase you forgot to press send. i do that all the time hahaha

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Not sure to be honest

>>695284835
Mexifag gtfo and stay out. And I hope trump charges you for the wall.

>>695285190
kek

>>695285189
ur mom HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHH

>>695285265
kek fag

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"Okay mom, I'll be home before 9"

"Me too, I always did!"

>>695283608
wished my gf a happy birthday

>>695283608

i can't come over tonight, walking dead is on

>>695285384
So sad

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This

>>695285329
Have screen shots of me being a dick to my ex over sc

>>695285384
I'm sorry anon. Did you at least get home on time for your GBP?

>>695283608
ive got good girth

>>695285384
Bahahahaha you're a fucking faggot kill yourself already

>>695283608
"Name me some bands you like"

"*cum explosion*"

Lol. That's good you'll need those skills when you're older

"Hey"
Still havent gotten a response
Feelsbadman

love you mum

>>695283608
"alright"

>>695283608
her text: "just got home"
me: no reply

"Yeah I'm no white collar f@g"

>>695285555
QUADS

>>695283608
haha i just like all sexy pics of you
you have such a good pussy its ridic

>>695283608
>wyd

>>695283608

Found a strand of your hair on my balls when I showered this morning

>>695283608
>See you in a few
Friends mom

I guess

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No I'm not drinking you fucking stupid piece of shit. I'd love to drink, but I can't, because I paid your car payment, oh your insurance too, your speeding ticket, and sent you money for groceries. If you're gonna be the one that's making me broke don't fucking tell me how to manage my money better because it's your fault I don't have any you stupid fucking piece of trash selfish bitch. Go fuck yourself.

I typed I hate you like 40 times and threw my phone then picked it up and sent it.

>>695283608
we gonna party when you get back into town?

Exactly, so we're gucci :) I'm just pumped to see you

>>695283608

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I'm such a loser faggot. Never talked to her again. It's to late though because I leave for college after this summer. :(

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>>695285555

Roughly translated:

I don't want to see you anymore. I hate to break it to you like this but I'd rather have you hate me for telling the truth than hating me for ignoring you.

>>695285300
Checked. And Alpha

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Nj

Okay, love you too

So, did you get it working?

>>695285905
You fucking cunt. You probably had a decent chance

>>695285384
grammar 2/10
homosexuality 10/10
I wish you were at Pulse when shit went down.

Did you know snapchat register a patent last January which that sells people ads based on what images they are looking at?

Soon. I'm gonna say no I'm too tired.

>>695285903
I haven't texted any females in a very long time. ._.

>>695283608
I did not find any conversations with girls from this phone or facebook at all.
I've had this phone almost 4 years now.
Is it my time to get out of the closet?

>>695286223
Btw, it's my wife, we were in separate bathrooms

Paper Towels

I'm outside you don't have time to call the police...

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Jet fuel doesn't melt steel beams

Ay,are you doing the ticketttts?

(lolfaggt)

>>695286190
I know. I regret it everyday. Do much shit went down in my life a day after that text that I forgot to respond. But fuck her to be honest. She could've responded back if she really cared.

>>695283608
I would eat your pussy but I'm super gay

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>>695285046
>i came to /b/ for to be inspired.

>>695286431
Yes, you faggot

>>695283608
Mom i got fired...
Again.

Do we need to come there now

A few days ago I had some orange/mandarin green tea. It's actually pretty good.

>>695283608
um... what if I am a girl?

>>695283608
"make sure you make the guy set the basket up for you to assure it isn't broken"

still do it

I've never texted a girl before

>>695287110
then tits or gtfo

No, can't

"In all 3 of your holes"

>>695287110
Then last text a boy that's not a relative/significant other sent you

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>>695287308
these?

"Wait, should I get u anything at CVS?"

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>>695287545
WROOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOONG ANSWER ASSHOLE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

>>695287632
Disgusting.

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>>695287833
yeah, time for boob job

>Well that's bittersweet I guess, could be worse :/ Hope the change hasn't been too hard on her

talking to my 1st cousin once removed about my grandaunt, who has been put in a nursing home

>>695285300
Idk what this means either help me out /b/tartds is this anon gay?

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>>695287959
Enjoy the lifelong regret

wanna hang out

>>695287959
moar

"I will be home in 30 mins or so. I AM getting a shower as soon as I get home or I will roll my sweaty dirt covered body on your side of your bed."

>>695287985
>once removed
you wouldn't have put that in if you didn't want people to think it's weird you're fucking her.

That's fine though, whatever. He can stay tomorrow night I guess

>>695283608
"Gang Gang Nigga" via snapchat. She's white as fuck

>>695288387
actually I'm a faggot. Her husband is hot though

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"So be a grown up and either don't make a fuss and just leave or deal with up" complaining about people talking about pokemon go in a group chat

>>695288427
Not a fag but a cuck

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Im sorry for everything ive done to you. Im a monster and leaving now is the only decent thing i can do for you


>tfw i never actually sent this message
>tfw its been in my drafts for a month now

I consider suicide on the daily

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>>695288427
>>695288783
Disgusting cuck

>to gf
Down near Salem. There's waterfalls nearby too

Okay so like I said yesterday or whenever it was, I didn't even realize it was an issue, for whatever reason i didn't know or forgot. And when you were talking about not being able to shower I thought you meant because you were depressed. Anyway I called and put in a service request for the shower, they're gonna call me and then I'll know when they're coming


>texted to my preggo wife

>>695283608
"you are a faggot"

>>695288613
if that's an honest answer, well good for you anon. to each his own.

"My mom just said we will have my old bedroom open for us in january if we need it "

>>695289049
Sounds shitty

sleeptight

Bitch say that again and I'll helicopter dick smack the taste out your mouth.

- This was in response to being told bacon has no right to be on a pizza.

"I just got off heroin babe, I need your understanding. It hurts."

>>695290514
meh. She has anxiety and depression and was having a bad few days. The meds usually kick it in the ass but every once in a while it rears its ugly head.

>>695290739
I understand. How are you?

Honest to god thought she was wearing a pizza...i've been on /b/ too long...

>>695290828
No bueno

今どこ？まぁ、どこでも気をつけてね！もう上に上がったんだけど、お休みを言わず上がらないよ(happy face)！お休み！

Welom

>>695285903
> my parents want me to go to slee0
Hahahahaha

>>695290895
Writhing in pain. Heroin withdrawal is the most uniquely painful experience one can go through.

>>695283608
"I think that's quite a hobo tier act coming from you"

>>695284714
Lol are you me

>of course, angel. I love you!

well that just about solves the mystery

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>>695283608
>はい、元気です。万由子 さんは？
I wished her a happy Marine Day, and she asked how I've been.

>>695283608
I'll pick up the kids.

>>695283608
No worries, I totally understand. How do you like [local university]? I have some friends who go there.

Sounds like a fun time. My roommate might even be interested

>>695283608
>"maybe next time show some nip"

>>695283608
brb venonat

"you've never told me to kill myself before. Oh wait.."

So like, you're suggesting I use a soldering iron with an ultrafine tip?

>>695283608
I wanna suck ya boyfriend's dick and ya dad's too

"How much for half an hour?"

"You dead?"
"Rip"
She replied with no.
It's been 2 weeks since, suggestions on what to say?

I'm sorry, I just taught you will get mad if I didn't tell you anything

>>695283608
Thanks mum
Love you too

haha, im still waiting you :c

>>695291473
Sorry I didn't respond sooner I took a shower.

It does suck but it's temporary though and it is good for you in the long term. keep fighting man. I love you.

"If you got the Netflix I'll bring the chill."

Headed over in 10.

>>695292748
Just dont.

Sweet dreams, darling
I love you

Kill yourself dyke I bet you believe in a God too! LOL im lmaoing at your life you SLAVE

I also enjoy hanging niggers from trees.

"What kind of flowers?"

"You know this time I'll be gone for good right? If that's what you want that's cool. I can't play this game anymore" - hopefully the last thing I say to my recent ex lol

>>695283608
Oh fuck
>This is about the butt smack isn't it? I'm sorry it won't happen again.
Fuck I'm a loser, she likes me but she has a bf thats about as much context as I'll give

We should meet up

>>695285905
Oh man, the same thing happened to me except she was older and left the two year community college where we both went. I know I'll never see her again because she's now going to school almost 300 miles away, she deleted her facebook, and changed her number. I seriously really wish I knew what happened she has been the first and so far the only girl I've really fell for.

>Regardless of what they say. I do care about you Shelby. A lot

>Hey mom are you home? I'm about to swing by.
They weren't home

I love you too mom ! <3

>>695288914
Fucking self-hating pussy cuck faggot

>>695283608
>When do you move down there?

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>>695283608
>Have fun faggot, see you after work
To the girlfriend, we gon fuck

i'll text you this weekend. oh wait, nvm.

>she said she misses me and would like to see me again.

>>695284714
Relationship with neighbour?

"He has to get his life under controll. At least hes out with the dog like 4 times per day." -about a mutual friend/elite pokemon Trainer

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last family gril I texted my mom "yea"
last non family gril I texted "IM ARCH WIZARD MEGUMEME" she didnt respond

>>695285300
Sniff her dirty panties

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shes gonna reply one day i know it

Got a call from one of you retards again. I raffled my Facebook 2~ months ago.
Some girl asking if I was Jenan (friend who's conversation with him got capped) and that she was at the pub.

In case some of you have my number call anonymously because I now have someone's number

"Goodnight Caroline."

>>695300149
jenan is a bitch and a liar

This too shall pass...

>>695283608
"okay"

"I'm gay..."

>>695285452
Walking dead hasn't been on for like 4 months

>>695283608
"wat."

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>>695300324
He is. Have this random number for spitting the truth. It's an english number.

Unfortunately the last thing I sent a girl was over 10,000 characters long and doesn't fit in this stupid comment box and thinks my message is spam when I pastebin it