stick dick into it and fuck it and cum all over it faget.

Leave screen door open and throw rocks at it

How the fuck did you let it get so big?

>>695030267
poke it with your dick

Kill it with fire

>>695030351
It's under the porch, so it's hard to see. I didn't notice until I got stung yesterday.

If dubs OP has to fuck the wasp nest with timestamped photos.

punch the nest and then fist fight the wasps.

>>695030349
>>695030368
>>695030504
dick jokes xddddddd

>>695030611
I'd have to crawl on my back to get within punching range. Doesn't seem like a fair fight.

>>695030267
Call the fucking exterminator and pay the ~50 bucks to have them take it down safely because otherwise I promise you're either going to set your house on fire or get the shit stung out of yourself trying to do it yourself with something dumb.

It takes like 20 minutes and it always costs less than a hundred bucks, don't be a retard OP.

Source: have had wasp/hornet nests removed at 2 different houses

Too bad it isn't a beehive, keepers will come pick those up for free or sometimes even pay.

find the biggest jug or bucket that you have. fill it with water and dump it over the nest.
i assume your porch/deck has cracks between each piece of wood?

>>695030267
Shouldn't have taken a picture of your own house, hacking your location now kiddo
hehehe

>>695030267
tell ya what. You need to make smoke
>not fire
If you know someone who has disco stuff then ask to borrow a smokemachine.

Whatever is inside will flee thinking its a forest fire. Once the coast is clear and there is a fuckton of smoke then grap a can of insect poison and spray that shit to death.

Alternativly but slidely risikier probably is to wait for complete and utter darkness and then just go and spray that fuckker.

The safe option is ofcourse to hire a beekeeper to come with his suit and do it for you.

Alternativly a pest controller is a good thing. They will do it with the full bodyarmor and if they get stung then its their problem.

>>695030267
Aerosol can + lighter
Then fuck it

>>695030267
Here is what I used to do.

- Slowly and calmly place hand next to be hive

- let them crawl onto you - do not force them onto your hand

- walk moderate paced

- scare siblings.

It works, done it hundreds of times when I still lived at home. (Granted, the bees were nesting in my room, so I grew accustomed to them)

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>>695031152

>>695030267
bees? wasps? hornets? r they all susceptible to smoke? calm them down like that and then set a real fire right under their ass.
alternatively call a specialist

>>695031160
Did you become the overlord of bees as you lived with them? Could you control them and stuff?

>>695030924
But what do I stick my dick in? The exterminator?

>>695030961
The decking has about 1/4" spaces. I can actually get a hose up there, too.

>>695031064
Please stop by and help me with these fucking wasps.

huge nest. this will be fun.

>>695030478
wasps 1, op 0.

>use some dish soap and a hose...
the water pressure will blast the nest away while the soap helps break it down anyways. the wasps will not rebuild because of the soap and you have zero damage to your deck.

>you could always go get insecticide specifically for wasps and whatnot.

lay out something like a small portion of tuna and lure the wasps in. they dig tuna. take a bb gun you got a walmart and target practice to get revenge.

don't use fire cause your porch will get torched.

don't throw shit at it cause your porch will have dent marks which will stand out in the future. also throwing shit at it won't do much other than injure some and piss them off.

>>695031160
These aren't bees. They're wasps. I got stung yesterday just for standing near the nest.

>>695031323
Kind of, I was able to be more erratic than others around them.

My mom came in to kill my friends one day, so I pounded the skylight and yelled attack, the flew around as my mom slammed my door shut screaming. I played video games and they chilled out. Sometimes they would chill next to me and stuff, but I think it was coincidence.

>>695031334
sorry, I'm too busy hacking the pentagon's mainframe.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XXec7zBaPxA

Like most of life's problems this can be solved with RC helicopters.

>>695031446
I have dealt with wasps too, and hornets, I lived in the attic because my mom hated me. I call all types bees, even though it is not scientifically correct. Wasps weren't even mean - just more easily agitated. Not once stun.

>>695031460
Did the bees all work together to play games with you? They have some form of hivemind, so that seems a likely possibility.

>>695030267
put it in your mouth

>>695031160
How come you where not in kickass 2

>>695031334
>But what do I stick my dick in? The exterminator?
The hole in the bottom where then enter and exit
>The decking has about 1/4" spaces. I can actually get a hose up there, too.
They'd kill you though.
>Please stop by and help me with these fucking wasps.
Welcome to /b newfag. Do you like pizza?

>>695031616
If I can get it down without destroying the nest, I will eat that fucking nest and all the wasp honey inside.

>>695031446
Bee spray at night OP. Couple cans. Pick the coldest night you can so they are slow. Soak the shit out of it and all that comes out. Keep yer distance

>>695031564
What do you mean by games? If you mean did I pet them, no, I just let them crawl on me. It started during a deep depression, when I was fearless because depressed. Now I don't fear bees.

My current infestation is spiders. they are all over my apartment. I have a rule with spiders though that I didn't have with bees, if they drop down on me while I'm masturbating, I kill them.

>>695031674
Because anyone can play with bees, just be calm, and I also think them living with me, that my pheromones or something probably prevented them from considering me a threat.

>>695031709
Gain the power of the wasps by consuming them, their young, and their unborn.

>>695031778
>if they drop down on me while I'm masturbating, I kill them
This is my rule with everyone.

>>695031778
I mean video games. Like, did they all lift up the controller and and work together to press the buttons and move the sticks and stuff. It seems like they'd be able to do that.

Raid Wasp spray through that window. The spray has a range of 25 feet or so. Saturate the hell out of it.

>>695031923
No, they never did that. Would have been cool, but nah.

>>695031778
and what if the spider proposes sex?

>>695032017
Don't do it. She'll fucking kill you when she's done. They're just like mantises.

>>695032017
He better do it before I start masturbating.

>>695031125
>disco stuff
>smoke machine

Get a load of this guy! Wants to turn this hornets nest into a little tiny disco for bees or something.

>>695032089
i've seen a video where a guy let wasps crawl all over his mushroom tip.

What about a fire extinguisher? Won't that put them to sleep or something?

>>695032121
Smoke fucks with their tiny brains or whatever they have.

Full beekeeper + poison is the best idea though. I'd seriously consider hiring a professional though if it was me.

>>695032087
What if it was like a spidergirl from my japanese animes though

>>695032121
KEK!

>>695032202
yeah but it also oxidies anything of metal pretty much so those nails holding the wood together would need to be replaced imidiatly and who knows in what range. It kills oxygen though so in theory it could work. I'd deffinatly not recommend it though.

>>695032177
I've seen those types of videos, some sort of fetish - not mine though.

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>>695031160

>>695030504
it seems our posts have been switched, here are the repeating numbers

>>695030267
>go to lowes or home depot
>get 2 gallon bucket and a 2x4 long enough to do what I'm about to describe...
>fill bucket all the way up to the top with water
>place over hornets nest
>use 2x4 to keep bucket propped up in place (or just stand there like a retard for an hour)
>take bucket off
>errbody's drownded
>nest easy to remove

>>695030267
At night, use an opened trash bag to completely cover it and then pull it down while closing the bag shut. Put the trash bag containing the nest the hallway of the women's studies department of the nearest university. Just leave it there for someone to open.

>>695032686
>place over hornets nest
The porch has about 2.5 feet of head room. How the fuck do I get in there with a bucket?

>>695032447
haha whacky

>>695032780
Carefully

>>695032710
it will be bombsquad though.... They might die from that cuz agressive bees are pretty hardcore.

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>>695031751

>>695032710
All the wasps that have stingers are females, so this is perfect. They can't complain about the matriarchy.

>stung by your own hubris

You got a wife, OP?

>>695032710
/thread

>>695032941
Yeah, but they only sting people because the MEN tell them to, so its still the patriarchy.

>>695033003
Yes. Should I have her negotiate with them?

>>695033137
No you should put a pair of her panties on the nest and post a picture

Is there some kind of animal like a mongoose than can fight them without being stung? Spiders? Parasites? I'd prefer not to use poison because it will fuck with the bees in the yard.

>>695033387
call a pro

offer to pay in honey for lulz

>>695033387
sure a grizzleybear. Good luck with that...

>>695033387
Does your poison bring all the bees to the yard?

shoot it with a fucking shotgun

>>695033641
or a honeybadger

Just bee yourself

>>695032447
should of asked charlie the heroin bee whisperer

>>695033135
Bees and wasps have NEVER been patriarchal