I'm a man.

>>694970391
I am the best DDR player in the world. I've been to Japan multiple times to take part in, and win, competitions. It was cool when DDR was a fad, but now it's uncool so I don't tell anyone. I've made over half a million dollars just playing DDR.

>>694970391
my best friends gf often cheat on him... with me, she thinks anal doesn't count as cheating so she lets me do her whenever he isn't around. i know it does count as cheating, but hey if she's going to cheat, might aswell be with me.

i'm sucking my sisters vibrator off, cause maybe she did forgot to clean it up

>>694970391
im 23/m and wearing a diaper i have no medical need for.

I'm a satanist, haven't told anyone for obvious reasons

>>694970391
15 and only 1 gf we only be on the relation 3 weeks and i have fear of dont dind another relationship early

>>694970391
I am gay.

>>694972412
you anonymous on here, mind posting some proof of some sort? like a ddr machine with a timestamp

I have a hypnosis kink and a thing for situations where I might get caught, so when I hypnotize my friends I jerk off once I get them under. They have no clue of my fetishes.

>>694970391
I have an exact angle I can put the window in my room in so I can see into my flatmates room. I watch him fuck her whenever she's over

>>694974225
MODS!!!

I like romantic comedians

I'm with a girl I'm incredibly unhappy with because I lost the girl I was sure was my soulmate.
My lifes a never ending void of depression and no one knows.
I joined the army to get away from life and I leave soon.
Theres more but whatever.

>>694970391
I'm Taylor Swift

>>694974351
faggot

i have a hard time believing any of these

I'm a memelord who uses offensive jokes to cover up the fact that I'm a gay furry

I hatemy friends but i dont tell to anybody because i would be alone, the only thing made me stay alive and dont bored its League of legends

I'm hiding in the attic Ann Frank ly I'm getting pretty board.

I fucked my friends mom while his dad watched. Pretty sure he ate my cum out of her once I left. My friend has an idea I fucked his mom, but if he only knew the extent.

I use twitter rp to score chesse pizza.

>>694974527
it's /b/ everything is a work of fiction anon. you should consider this a roleplaying board.

go wild anon, you could be a doctor or a minister, or maybe a coast guard if that seems fun

I alredy post 3 times and I have more, thats sad.

twas molested

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>>694974629
Kakarotler

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>>694974225

I fell incredibly in love with my best friend 3 - 4years ago
We kissed 2 times when we were drunk and we said that we never going to talk about it
and now our friendship is destroyed but i still got really strongg feelings and since she tells me everything it really hurts me when she tells me stuff like "at this party i met this guy and we fucked in the bathroom" and stuff or that she sucked off a guys dude while leaving me alone at 3 AM

I'm listening the very best of elvis presly right now

>>694970391
I'm taking female hormones everyday for the obvious reasons.

>>694974979
gl bro, or sister...

>>694974405
Holy shit. Fucking feels. If you need to vent, pour your heart out man.

>>694974439
I hate when people call mods for everything but underage fags they shut the place up with the stupid shit they say. They reveal themselves all the time by saying stupid shot at least be smasmarty enough to not just out yourself

>>694975057
Thanks hon, I spose sister is the goal in the end.

i'm kind of a loser but i do mean well and my friends like me for who i am, but when i go on job interviews or meet a woman i can't help but make myself look better by lying that i'm an architect that's currently working on a big project.

I've jacked off to my sister's panties multiple times when she's not home and sometimes I'll leave a bit of my cum on her toothbrush in the bathroom

>>694974424
Proof with timestamp or kys

I'm scared to tell my friends my conservative views because I fear they'll see me as some sort of racist nazi

>>694974424
Oh boy, here we go again..

>>694974900
if this is true. Do yourself a favor dude, from a guy who was in a similar situation (Minus the fucking other guys part), cut ALL contact with her.

Facebook / Twitter / Skype / Hanging out. Everything dude.

You don't even have to tell her, just back off. It's killing you man. It surely was killing me. Still kills me not talking to her everyday, knowing how her day is going, having someone to talk deep stuff... hurts man, but hurts more when she doesn't love you like you do.

I killed a bunny when I was a 5. It didn't die when I threw it at the wall so I spent about half an hour torturing it (breaking it's limbs, poking at it's eye with a stick). Never knew bunnies could scream. That was my first memorable boner

I have regular sex with my sheep girlfriend

I delete torrents the moment the download finishes.

>>694975281
You my friend are the silent majority but still get better friends

>>694975430
you monster

The only way i can get excited with porn is looking some sadomasochism or at least some sumision, if it doesnt have its like im watching some puppies.

>>694974900
Tell her how you feel, anon.

My wife and i are currently planning a me her and trap 3some

When I was im the Navy, me and a bunch of buddies would go to thailand and get some of those lady boys and take them up to the hotel and juat go to town on them all night.

I DROPPED THE SCREW IN THE TUNA!

I am a alcoholic in the closet with a business and a big family. I never miss any family shit but I am also a degerate gambler. I also meet up with women I meet on Craigslist and beat off in in my office daily. WTF is wrong with me? AMA

I always double dip.

>>694975688
I ATE THE LUTEFISK

I was the bass player for a bit in haircut 100

>>694970391

I have sexually coerced 9 girls to let me do whatever I wanted to them. None of it involved using force.

These instances account for approximately 30% of the chicks ive fucked and are by far the best times I have ever had sex.

I am 38 years old (almost 39) and I still have no idea what it means to be an adult. I don't know what it feels like to love anyone -- even my own family. I try my best to fake it but I find it annoying and tedious, like they are wasting my time. I would rather be by myself and not have to pretend like I care.

Somehow, this bothers me... but not enough to REALLY care.

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I thought you could turn off the radio and the music would pause so I missed my favorite song when i was a kid cause I was saving it for my dad and he didn't give a shit when it didn't work and it hurt my feelings so i killed him

>>694970391

Since breaking up with my wife about a month ago, I've been thinking about nothing but cocks. It's been over 10 years since I've sucked a dick but want to do it again so fucking bad.

I go for walks every night and go to public parks where I strip off all my clothes and walk around completely naked and then masturbate.

I've been talking to other horny guys on steam and am very close to meeting up with some of them at the parks I go to so that I can finally suck cock again.

I want to suck cock so fucking bad that I am already telling myself to let whoever I finally do suck off I'm going to let him cum in my mouth and I'm going to try and swallow his load.

I eat my own shit

>>694975745
Iktf anon

>>694975236
i feel old for getting the reference...

>>694970391
CHIKADZUKITAI KIMI NO RISOU NI
SUNAO NI NARENAI

>>694975819
Dude just suck a cock...I mean fuck who cares?

>>694975819
did you break up with your wife because of these homosexual desires or was it an unrelated incident?

>>694975150
I refuse to leave or let this girl know how I really feel because shes been nothing but great twards me and it would be unfair for me to leave her for my ex.
Not that she wpuld even take me back..
I play vidya to drown out anything bad from my mind and to keep me going.
I'm 18.
My family is dirt poor and my dad wprls 14 hours a day for an under paying construction job.
I'm watching my father slowly kill himself in work exhaustion and cry ever day because he cant give his kids the life he wants for them.
My mother is a religious fanatic who isn't doing much to help him because"god will provide".
I'm always broke because they take any money I make for bills.

There you go.

I've stolen a computer from school and probably will have a search warrant on me within the next month if my paranoia is correct.
Wishing otherwise though, its crazy how much I regret it, I was down at the time and it seemed like one of the only ways to bring some opportunity back in my life with no risk.

>>694975819
>I've been talking to other horny guys on steam and am very close to meeting up with some of them at the parks I go to

how the hell do you use steam to look for dicks to suck ? i've never seen a group made there for that purpose

>>694975688
Oh my god

apparently have kid that have never met

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>>694976101
>I mean fuck who cares?
Jesus Does,
every time a dude finishes in another dudes mouth Jesus stands on top of a cloud and yells out "gaaaaay!"

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>>694970391
>be me, 1 year ago exactly
>be horny with money from student loan refund
>decide to go to a city a few miles from dorm
>go to Korean-owned massage parlor
>get offered full service
>accept it
>get table shower first
>get back to room
>about to have some fun!
>but, need to pay now...$220
>decide to pay house fee of $70 with debit card
>pay for full service with cash
>woman comes back into the room and gives card back
>gets undressed
>sexytime.exe
>rush it
>get dressed and walk out shaking at the experience
>terrified the rest of the night about what would happen if the cops raided the place and found a receipt with my signature on it
>decide to go get new card first thing in the morning
>do so the next day
>dick has friction burns until November

>>694970391
My girlfriend accidentally gave a random stranger a blow job once.

>>694970391
devastated, I fancy my best friend gf
feeling like sick about myself, always the wrong thing

>>694975317
Dude thats exactily what im doing right now cutting off all contacts and trying to avoid her at all times
Its really difficult tough because her whole family knows me and the place we live in is really small so every week i encounter at least 1 family member of her who starts a conversation with me

In my situation it was really obvious that she felt in love with me too at some point but she got really cold somehow and is not trying to keep contact with me at all since i quitly decided to take a break from her so i can concetrate on other things

it felt good hearing your words anon, srsly i have no one to talk to about this.

>>694976416
how do you accidentally give someone a blowjob?

>>694974900
You been friendzoned good and proper. Cut off all contact and move on.

I also eat my shit.

>>694976416
Story? How does one give someone an accidental blowjob?

>>694970391
No.

>>694975430

torrents are for amateurs

usenet = god teir

>>694976416
she blind or something?

>>694975318
Seek help asap anon

I'm mentally ill. I don't want to tell my friends or family because I'm worried that they'll either start treating me differently or see me as some kind of pussy/attention whore.

I killed someone once.

>>694976439
reveal the first letter of your first name niggerfaggot

>>694976897
what kind of mental illness do you have anon?

>>694975712
I can identify with you anon.
You're probably screaming out to be someone you never could be.

>>694976557
>>694976734
>>694976830

>Be me.
>Take girlfriend to go eat wings at this ghetto bar near campus.
>Delicious wings for really low price.
>We're University students so we're broke as fuck.
>Cheap wings is already a dream come true.
>Only downside is the place looks like it's some drug joint.
>Eat wings anyways.
>Finish eating.
>We both go to the washroom to clean up.
>Male and female washrooms right next to each other.
>Go in.
>Bathroom is so small.
>Can barely see anything as well, lighting is dim.
>One urinal and one boxed toilet stall.
>Want to take a shit but some guy is in the toilet.
>Wait for a minute or so then change my mind. I'll just shit at home.
>Do my business and take a piss at urinal.
>Suddenly hear the guy start to moan.
>He's groaning loud now.
>Sounds like he's having the best shit of his life or something.
>Weirded out as fuck so I quickly wash my hands and leave.
>Go outside to wait for girlfriend.
>Ten minutes pass by, what's taking her so long?
>Look at the washroom waiting.
>Even the guy moanin in the toilet finished and left.
>Five minutes later she comes out.
>There's a huge grin on her face.
>She seems happy.
>We walk for a bit back to campus.
>She looks at me with this big smile.
>'How did you like that blow job?' she asked me.
>What blowjob...
>'The one in the washroom? Through the hole?' her smile quickly drops.

Turns out she gave the guy in the washroom with me a blow job by accident. Apparently the female washroom only had one toilet for one person so she assumed it was the same on the male. She thought I was the only one in there so when she saw a dick go through the hole, it must have been mine. Whoever that guy was, I hope he was happy getting that BJ from my girlfriend...

>>694973921
>>694973921
hot i am 26 totally in to it

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i secretly plan to vote for trump in november when all my family despises him and talks shit during dinner. i go along with it as to not make waves, but they all talk about how the white man causes problems for everyone and how society owes everything to immigrants because they helped build this country, i laugh on the outside but inside.................i die just a little.

>>694976439
or tell short story

>>694975236
HIMYM?

>>694977041
Bipolar.

>>694976109

I didn't break up with my wife because of my love for cock.
I've been sucking cock my entire life (except for he past 10 years or so).

I actually broke up with my wife because she got a tattoo. I won't stick my dick in anything with a tatoo so I kicked the bitch out.

>>694975819
Enjoy your HIV anon

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>>694976116
Holy shit. I'm sorry man. I hope things get better for you. I actually kind of want to cry. Idk why this story is the only one that hits me hard on a personal level. I can't relate to you or your situation at all, but I hope everything works out. I wish you the best of luck my friend.

>>694977303
ahhh, close , but he actually was an architect. the correct answer was george, a.k.a art vandelay from seinfeld

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>>694976734
Actually i know a case like that.
>chick was dating a dude
>he has twin bro
>didnt tell her this
>theyre at his house and he says "imma go take a shower
>she decides to suprise him
>walks into bathroom
>grabs him and goes down
>sucks him until he blows in her mouth
>walks out
>few min later he comes out of bedroom while shower is still going
>says my brother is taking forever in the shower man
Hfw

>>694976250

I talk to horny guys on squirt, not steam...my mistake

>>694977363
you're not likely to get HIV from blowjobs, maybey some other stuff but not HIV
taking it up the ass is what gives you HIV

>>694975819
>I've been talking to other horny guys on steam
so...you're just playing left4dead or something and suibjecy suddenly pops up or what?

>>694976412
korean owned massage parlor?

>>694977581
that explains so much, i was starting to think there's this secret gay underground community on steam that like trade the cards and shit for blowjobs.

>>694977590
if you have open sores in your mouth, which all cock sucking hiv infected faggots almost always have, you CAN get hiv from a BJ........the more you know faggot

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>>694974767
Would love to hear your sonnet about it? Great opining line btw.

>>694977756
Kek

>>694970391
i am workaholic and depressed , all that keeps me from being suicidal is my work, i dont feel happy around freands and family, i don't wont a romantic life or need it. i hate freetime. i am only happy when at work :) i am afreid to tell my family and friends dont wont to hurt them

I'm depressed as hell but i'm embarrassed to talk about it because my life is objectively okay

>>694977590
And you think you're gonna stop at blowjobs?

i laugh at mass shootings. does that make me crazy?

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>>694974225

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>>694974405

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>>694970391

protip:
people who ask you if you can keep a secret...generally can't

>>694974131
laveyan or temple of set?

>>694977385
Thanks anon. I'm hoping so too but i just feel stuck.

I like to murder Cats!

>>694977918
what is up between you and your wife? Last time you fucked?

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>>694977744
Yes. A massage parlor run/managed by Koreans, with Korean employees.

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I once let my friends fuck my gf when she was drunk, she never knew, this is her

>>694977861
>which all cock sucking hiv infected faggots almost always have
but if he already has HIV then that renders your whole point redundant.

>>694978070
>[Update] [Auto] 15
very true, but it's hard to blad if you don't know who's secret it is. people aren't going to stand on the corner of the streets screaming secrets posten on 4chan... and evne if they did.. i mean...

>>694978119
niether i just like looking at satanic cocks online

>>694977385
Thanks anon. I hope so too.

>>694970391
>)
i am still in love with my ex. and he is dead

>>694976913
Who?

>>694977167
That just raises the question of how your girlfriend didn't recognize your dick...

>>694978201
kinda like the failed abortion you turned out to be huh faggot

I'm going to take my own life in 9 days

>>694974900
"she sucked off a guys dude"
Now Im interested. Please tell me in extreme detail how this "sucking off a guy's dude" happens.

>>694972927
I wouldn't use the term best friend, he won't be when he finds out. Did you even think about the fallout to this or did you just think about your dick getting wet? That's your bro, man.

>>694978343
post nudes first

>>694974236
He can't because it's not true.

>>694978313
lol sick burn bro

>>694978244
Tits or gtfo

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>>694977302
>broke up with gf 2 months ago
>always hanging around with friends
>my friend has gf
>I didnt suddenly feel anything
>evening after evening I started wondering
>she's probably well into him
>but cute and always smiles to me
>discovered he cheats her
>love my friend can't tell anybody
>at the same time quite desperate about her
>and me as well since I understood I like her
>will never do anything and end up unhappy.

don't wanna lose my friend and I dont think she likes me, so whatevs. But I could not stop from suffering from this.

>>694978031
No, but youre highly likely some kind of a psychopaths.
>>you laugh at mass shootings
Normal people with a normal function brain would feel some kind of empathy
>>psychopaths dont feel empathy thats why they do what psychopaths do

>>694977349
Kek. You're a cunt. I hope you get AIDS

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>>694978191

>>694974348
Start getting them into it while they're under. Just make a suggestion about it or something.
Btw what do you do with them while they're under other than jerk off?

>>694977983

this thread is me. and its real. and its a dumb thing im doing. deleting it in 5 minutes if no one comments hopefully.

>>694977363

I've sucked off more than 150 different guys in my life and about 95% of them were complete strangers. I've never gotten any kind of STD yet.

I caught crabs once but that wasn't even from sex, I slept in the same bed as my friend and he had them.

>>694977457
i just found this in youtube https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=67L0pbneT2w

i dont know what serie is this ;/

>>694976913

My Sister

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>>694970391
To tell the family secret....my grandmother was Dutch.

>>694976557
idk man i've tripped over shit before

>>694978513
is it possible it could also be a self defense mechanism?
like being unable to confront the ugliness of the world so you just laugh as a way to emotionally distance yourself from it?

>>694974900
>>694975605
Don't ever do this, this guy is a fucking idiot. I hope things get better anon. Sometimes it's good to just take a break and get out of town with some mates for a little while.

>>694978789
sounds like a plot to a hentai

>>694976897
Dude, it's not the early 90s anymore. The understanding behind mental health has come along way. Stop what you're doing, right now. No excuses. Go get help.

Sister was killed when I was 7. No childhood after that.

In a long term relationship with someone who I don't love. She'd do anything for me.

Monumentally depressed almost 24/7

Mildly hooked on pills that I get for a legit reason.

Just waiting for my Mom to die so I can kill myself. Refuse to let her lose both kids.

>>694975233
you have a mental disorder.

>>694978302
She told me it looked like mine. Same size, shaven, curved and white. Plus I guess the room was dimly lit as well so it was hard for her to see. Also she admitted in the heat of the moment she didn't really question it much.

>>694978008
sounds like someone is projecting

>>694975260
You have a problem.

i'm addicted to heroin

>>694977918
Who do you work for?

>>694977349
wow youre a fucking cunt

>>694978901
Anon I can relate to quite a bit

>>694978896
just how tightly kept secret are mental health records ?

>>694978721
the seriesi s called "seinfeld" it's pretty good, really is. this is the first time george created his fake persona "art vandelay" it's kind of a running gag that really gets going in season 3. it's ol old show but it's worth watching for sure if you're into comedy

>>694970391
I'm bissexual, only very few close friends know it

>>694977291
As a man of colour, BLM is ruining many major countries.

>>694978721
>i dont know what serie is this
>people dont know what seinfeld is anymore
I feel old...

>>694978923
You still dating her?

>>694978365
it was like this:
we were at a party out in the city and we were leaving waiting for the bus at around 03.30 AM
then out of a sudden i see a really good friend which i did not see a long time ago

then i tell them to wait for me because im going to go buy something to eat from an selecta machine
when i come back theyre gone and im alone
i call her about 10times, then she finally picks up the phone and tells me that he is going home and that she is just walking in the fresh air

Then i gets about 4.00AM and i get really mad and take a taxi home

she lied to me, she waited for about 1 year to tell me that what she did that evening is that she sucked him off in a playground while leaving me and she tried to pull the victim card saying that he was really horny

>>694977167
Did she swallow then?

I was in a psychatry once

>>694975260
Lets see her panties

>>694979139
i know right . i was convinced more peopel would get Art vandelay from that "secret"i can understand the HIMYM mix up a bit seeing the similarities, but it's still a shame

>>694978148
I know that feel. It will get better. Trust me. You're still young. You haven't even hut the prime of your life yet.

since i lost my job and fell out with most of my scumbag friends i've done nothing but drink and cry in the room i've lived in since i was 7 years old. I wanna die but i'm too much of a coward to kill myself

>>694975318
I buried a bunny alive with my friend while heading to class in hs. I stood staring at its grave for about 5 minutes, dug it up about half way, and then I pelted him on the head with a rock. I looked into its eyes and I felt the joy of taking a life.

>>694978244
Holy fuck. How did he die?

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>>694978513

I welded a swastika to the backrest of my motorcycle

I listen to Sia when nobody's around.

I sucked a masculine cock once. Actually sucked one of my own fillings out. He said it was amazing but I already knew that.

I killed one of my cats for shitting on the rug. She was old and incontinent and I didn't have the money for a vet to do it so I just squeezed her neck really hard and fast. It wasn't over as quickly as I'd hoped. It fucked me up for years.

I hate myself. I'm popular at work and respected by my peers but my persona there is fake. They like a person who doesn't exist.

My wife knows the real me and I'm afraid she'll leave me for it. If she does I'll killy myself.

Fuck I need a shrink.

>>694979067
Doctor patient confidentiality bro

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>>694975318
>>694979447

i only have about 2 weeks to live.

>>694976402
He must be hoarse by now

>>694978343
Y tho

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>>694979561

>snuck into my little sister's room to get her phone while she was at gymnastics
>lookin for dem nudes
>all girls have em
>wtf man
>she has no pictures of herself but she has lots and lots of me
>start scrolling through them
>pics of me eating, gaming, laughing......sleeping.
>finally I found of a video
>of me beating off in the shower
>holy fucking shit

>>694979243
Yes. I forgave her for it eventually. Felt like she was genuinely sorry and it was a honest mistake.

>>694979268
She told me she did. Didn't want to walk out with cum on her face obviously.

>>694979641
its a tough Job but he knew what he was getting into when he signed up,I mean if being nailed to a piece of wood doesn't convey how hard a job is I dont know what does.

>>694979561
how is that a secret ? i have feeling people are going to notice the swastika

>>694979023

as far as I'm concerned as soon as a bitch gets a tattoo she becomes a dude and I ain't being married to no dude especially if that dude don't have a cock for me to suck.

>>694979817

good point

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>>694979581
>I'll killy myself
>killy myself
>Killy

>>694976412
Two friends and I went to a massage parlor on the night before Easter once.

I also lived in China teaching English and went to a whorehouse a few times with Chinese friends

>>694979857
Hourly reminder that fucking morons exist.

>>694978469
Camden? I don't cheat on E

>>What's wrong with that? At least you're not a muslim

>>694979447
Lol you probably look like these kids that went to my high-school that stabbed a dead raccoon with sticks in front of the property.

They were the weirdest looking people who had no chance at anything

>>694979581
>I didn't have the money for a vet to do it so I just squeezed her neck really hard and fast.
I think conventionally diy pet euthanasia just involves feeding them anti freeze, trying to choke it to death just seems kind of dumb.

>>asd