i pee in hand washing sinks at work

>>694761089
i wipe my ass with bread @ work.

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bump!

dont let bread die!!!

I work in a bakery.

Sometimes at the end of the night, I smash pastries/muffins on snapchat.

i'm a richfag with no friends irl really because idk who wants to leech and who is generally a friend. just have online friends. :/

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>>694762364
can't a person leech and be a genuine friend? i mean, i'd mooch off you, but we're bros, and you're richer than me.

>>694762148
Please give me your snapchat. That sounds fucking funny as shit because bill burr

I fucked my sister once

>>694761089
I want to shag my best friend gf so bad I'm starting to avoid them because I kinda love them to the bones and in the meantime I feel gross about myself.

>>694761089
YOU HAVE BEEN VISITED BY THE ISLAMIC TRUCK OF TOLERANCE

______________¶___
|religion of peace ||l “”|””\__,_
|______________|||__|__|__|]
(@)@)*********(@)(@)**(@)

POST THIS IN ANOTHER THREAD OR YOUR MOTHER WILL DIE TONIGHT

Whenever I masturbate, I blow myself and swallow my own cum.

>ive fucked my cousin
>felt up other cousins while they slept
>keep damn near all the nudes ive ever gotten over the years to fap to
>fucked this dude that i knows girlfriend while they were dating.

I use to work at a ceramic place where people would paint plates and mugs and shit, and eveytime someone treated me like shit We would break their ceramics

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>>694761089
I sex the bred

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>>694761089
I once dubs decided a girl who had broken my heart. Posted all the shit about her, and got advice on how to hurt her to the point that she would kill herself. I wanted her to feel the same way I did. This is not the confession. The confession is: I'm happy about what I did. I don't talk about it publicly, but I'm GLAD I hurt her. The end. Thanks for reading. Will gladly tell more if anyone is interested.

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>>694763517
best one yet keep doing that dont stop!

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>>694761089

>>694763670
best way to own a bitch is to move on within 24 hours, and already have pics posted on facebook of your new adventures, trust, that shit gets em more steamed then asian rice

>>694762364
For real dude. Just because a friend enjoys your money, doesn't mean that's the only reason he hangs with ya.

>>694761089
I seem very happy, but all I really want to do at the end of the day is blow my fucking brains out.

>>694764145
Op here,dont we all.

>>694764000
The problem was, she used me. I have no idea for what, I'm pretty fucking ugly. She made out with me, told me she wanted to be with me, then the next day...poof. All that was gone. I was friend zoned. She got back together with her old boyfriend, and I snapped. I wanted her to feel the way I did.

>>694764145
Buy a bird, anon. Something the depends on you for food, water,....LOVE. You'd be surprised how it could help.

>>694762364
you should totally "coming to america" troll your friends-to-be, and then just totally unleash your loot, and be like am rich bitch! and they'll be like woah cool! thats nice! am happy for you, lets keep watchin the movie nao

I confess I know that this board isn't anonymous.

>>694764478
what do you mean?

in high school I used to shower like twice a month and pee myself on command if people told me.also I dated a gross unpopular fat chick and spent a bunch of money on her and she put out for everyone but me.our realation ship lasted for years and she told people I was gay
>I was just bi

>>694764540
hitler did nothing wrong

>>694761089
I was a 2015 summerfag

I make vlogs and my nickname is Joji

>>694764614
fuck that fat cunt .

Today i publicly masturbafed in the train, nearly got caught and i came soon after that. Wiped the cum on the seat too.

I fucking hate my girlfriend with all my soul but if I end it the drama and bullshit right now will be off the charts. So I'm secretly saving money and waiting for the right time to cut her loose.

>>694764388
I've got a cat, and I love the little chub but he doesn't really make it any better. Maybe I need another kitten.

>>694764610
what are you, a trap ass, shit dick justin beiber? fucking white trash fag...

>>694764610
Too many letters. Also, no Capital?

2/10 stars.

I used to piss and cum blood sometimes and never really brought it up at doctors appointments

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I have a YouTube channel.

I shot a man in Reno.

>>694765028
i think i did it wrong.

>>694765114
I do too keep positive, keep smiling and I'll catch you all in my next video.

>>694764950
Good luck anon.

>>694761089
Never, I will never confess anything.
All my dark secrets that are just even too fucked up to be tolerated on /b/ will probably go down into the grave with me.
I am a sick bastard and im not sure i should be allowed to live, but everyone else sees me as this handsome, normal and charismatic guy with a heart of gold.
Imagine the film American Psycho, but tripple the madness.

>>694765347
I'd be interested in checking yours out. But posting YouTube channels on /b/ isn't the best idea.

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>>694761089
>be me
>visit relatives in Boston for the fourth
>fart at some point early in the morning and a little bit comes out
>cherry sized dingleberry on the inside of my boxers
>leave it on the bathroom floor with the intent to dispose of it somewhere away from the house and my neat freak aunt
>completely forget about it
>get home
>suddenly realize I've left all my toiletries and the shitty underware in the bathroom
>cringe in horror
>begin to realize I'm missing lots of other shit

I paid my girlfriend's 13 year old cousin to pose in sexy positions and tease me in an outfit of my chose while i jerked off to her and cum on her

If i sqeeze my nipples, this like puss or something comes out of them. It doenst come out at the actually nipple tip, it comes out of the little bumps on and around the tip.

I know who the Zodiac killer is/was and it's taken everything inside me to keep a secret for this long

>>694765575
careful with that edge there bud.

>>694766111
And i havent said anything to a doctor before.

>>694766144
you should tell all here.

i pee sitting down

>>694765575
>protip we dont give a fuck if you don't share

>>694766282
Fuck you.

>>694765668
Hey guys my name is of course Alex

>>694766255
I can't

>>694766185
sounds like a cyst. could cause problems if you want to breastfeed (if you're a girl and at some point want to have kids).

>>694765575
Oh lord that cringe hit me so hard.

>>694766391
why exactly?

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>>694766144
haha yeah right!

>>694766282
me too, only dumbfucks stand up.

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>>694765575

When I hypnotize my friends I secretly get turned on, but since they have their eyes closed until I tell them to open them they can never tell.

>>694766544
It depends how much time i got.

>>694766499
Cause then it's no fun for the people who wanna solve his puzzle

>>694766667
i pretty sure he is just lying but whatever. im still curious.

>>694766631
>when i hypnotize my friends

>>694766349
Fuck, no luck bud.

I like writing erotic stories. Have actually won some contests for them but always use a fake name so never collected any prizes.

>>694764614
this story made my day

>>694766887
>my friends
>friends
fuck you anon you lying crack whore

>>694766804
Man it's obviously Ted Cruz

When I was 16 another guy my age forces me to suck his cock. He was much bigger than me. He used to make me do it a few times a week. After the first few times I got to look forward to it. This went on for a few years like this. After that once in a while he'd call when he wanted head.

>>694766887
Got into hypnosis for fetish reasons, they don't know that though.

>>694764610
Now it IS a good question to ask, however the original post it is replying to seemed to be almost baiting this question, therefore it is unlikely to be answered which is somewhat of a dissapointment, and it would have been better if this question was not asked, therefore this is a bad post. On top of that, however hypocritical this may be, the post strays too far away from the original meaning of the thread.. In conclusion it would have been better without this post, 2/10

>>694767171
what do you do when they are under?
if you get them deep enough like have someone there for the whole day you can probably do some weird shit

>>694764928
cool

I like when dogs fuk girls. But that is the only zoophil thing i like. idk why

when I was 6 my step sister taught me what sex was and told me that it felt really good and that I should help her try it. she would touch me and do stuff so I thought it was acceptable. I went on to try to do the same with my little brother who was 2 but he didn't have the same parts so I didn't know what to do. then with the neighbor kid who was a 5 I tried again but it was also a boy so I wasn't sure how to do it. he told his mom and then we were never allowed to play again :(

>>694767171
do they know its your fetish?

>>694766541
You're not going to find him even if you look up the name.. I've tried

>>694767320
I usually just jerk off once I get them under, get's harder to maintain a steady stream of relaxing words but I manage. I haven't tried to get them to do anything that might give me away, but yeah I know what you mean. I'd probably want to hypnotize them a few times and have them extremely deep, and even then they would probably be aware of what you tell them so I'd have to get creative and do it in a way that doesn't set off any mental alarms.

>>694762911
This

>>694762918
Story?

>>694767532
what the fuck...


I have gone to a donkey show in Tijuana before the donkey died. It wasnt so much the sight as it was the smell and the warm beer they handed out

>>694768096
yea man
>protip you can undress someone etc if you make them think anything touching them feels like a summer breeze or something
requires them to be very deep though

>>694767666
nope, we saw a stage show (which was hot af haha) and I told them that was what got me interested enough to start practicing. A few of them volunteered and it went from there.

I guess another part of this is the risk of being caught, sometimes even when things are going well people can snap out of it for any number of reasons. I don't actually fully whip it out until I feel like they're in a pretty deep trance.

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>>694768454
hnnnng, you've tried this before I imagine? Yeah that's always on my mind, I've had people feel temperature changes before so I've always wanted to get them super hot and sweaty so that each item of clothing removed is cooling refreshment. But yeah I'd need a subject regular enough that I get get her to go that deep consistently before I'd try.

my mom bought something on my computer when she visited me, and it auto saved her credit card number. this was last thanksgiving and since then ive used it monthly to pay my utilities, buy movie tickets, video games, music gear, and buy chipotle online. i feel like a fucking shit head, but i am broke as fuck and cant find a job. no one has ever said anything to me about it. it recently stopped working and i am thankful af.

>>694768860
never tried any hypnotism shit
it requires certain keywords to work and i dont have them friends to speak of so i just fap to it sometimes
but i seen some very very realistic videos of people who seem to have pulled this off

>>694768958
you do realize they get fucking invoices for that shit you ungrateful fuck

>>694769244
of course i realize. I thought she would have said something after the first month, but nothing. no one has ever said anything. I have come to the conclusion that since her divorce, she has no concept of checking her invoices and spends so much that she doesnt care. i think her brother handles her finances so he probably just thinks shes buying a bunch of shit

>>694768958
You should feel bad as fuck. You are fucking with someones financials and it can wreck havoc. If youre lucky your mom knows and is disputing the charges putting your ass at risk for credit card fraud. Worst case, your mother doesnt know and she can kiss her fico score goodbye. Whats going to happen when she needs to buy a car because her last one broke down and she gets declined due to credit? Whats going to happen when she needs a loan to fix the roof of her house and she gets declined?

Youre a piece of shit and from the sounds of it, a grown ass man that cant fend for himself. Not only can you not fend for yourself and ask for help from your mom, but youre a liar and a thief. Youre not paying for necessities; Youre paying for video games and fucking chipotle.

Youre a disgrace and lack of a human being and the reason why I fucking hate this place

>>694769151
I need to get this to work.

If you are so inclined to give it a shot then hypnotizing anons online works just as well as real life.

Remember those videos at all?

>>694765118
Just to watch him die?

>>694769532
i do feel bad i feel terrible. my mom is a rich spoiled woman, who was married to a rich spoliue man who raised a spoiled, yet unrich son. i feel like a piece of shit every day of my life, and am thankful the card stopped working. she doesnt have to worry about credit card scores or any of that shit. she is set.

I litteraly have no idea what i am doing with my life.

>>694769905
Can you man up and at least tell her? Least have some respect for your mother and tell her what you did. Who gives a shit if shes a rich spoiled woman. Shes a human being with feelings and her son was stealing from her

>>694767082
Faggot

>>694765575

ow the edge

>>694769910
Thats normal. Believe it or not thats why alot of us join the military

>>694769910


Don't worry about the future
Or worry, but know that worrying is as effective as trying to solve an algebra equation by chewing Bubble gum
The real troubles in your life are apt to be things that never crossed your worried mind
The kind that blindsides you at 4 p.m. On some idle Tuesday

>>694769573
not the names no
searched long and hard on xvideos.com for them
>inb4 not using pornhub
i think xvideos has more fetish shit personally

I like to kill cats.

>>694770111
trips of truth

>>694770270
normal for an anon and hardly a secret
moving on

>>694770202
I'm with you there I check out hypnosis stuff there all the time, it has all those early 2000's hypno porn videos that I haven't seen posted in such a large quantity before, I should probably go there and look up some hypnosis shit...you know for research

>>694770270
Thats not normal dude. Thats what serial killers do in their young stages. If youre serious please go seek help and talk to someone professionally before you do something you regret

>>694770079
I have come close a few times. i have even thought about paying her back. since her divorce she bought an insanely big house and is pouring so much money into fixing it up. I feel bad for her but she is out of control. the very least i want to tell her her card was auto saved and I "accidentally" used it a few times by mistake. to be honest, 90% of the time it WAS used to pya my gas/electric bill. I only used it for chipotle when I was starving, and I knew I could use it. I actually dont know if I have used it for vidoegames, but I did by a cheap electric guitar with it. I in no way feel good about it at all. I dont get off on it when I click the "pay now" button, as a matter of fact i feel the opposite. I feel like a failure and I feel like my mom didn't raise a responsible son, just like herself.

Everytime I go to a new place I jack off there. Ex: gfs house, a mall, nee restuarant, hospital, medical office,etc.

>>694761089
YOU HAVE BEEN VISITED BY THE ISLAMIC TRUCK OF TOLERANCE

______________¶___
|religion of peace ||l “”|””\__,_
|______________|||__|__|__|]
(@)@)*********(@)(@)**(@)

POST THIS IN ANOTHER THREAD OR YOUR MOTHER WILL DIE TONIGHT

>>694764928
The right time is RIGHT NAO.

Amounts of potential drama tend to increase. leave before she gets preggo. do it. nao.

>>694761089
Had a cute girl living in next apartment. She left her shoes outside her door one day. Took one in my apartment, jerked off into it, and returned it.

>>694761262
same

>>694766957
Marzbar

My bedroom is piled high with trash. There is a small clear corridor I use to leave my room and to change etc...there are easily 20+ bottles of piss in there that I've filled when I can't be arsed to get up in the middle of the night.

>>694767082
Every now and again I have a gay fap and imagine I'm the guy who forced anon to suck his dick. Also, my brother is gay and I stalk him on a hook up site he uses and read his messages.

Fapped in public

>>694770689
Look man,

You fucked up and you know you did. Sounds like you might do the right thing.... You should do the right thing and maybe break that irresponsibility shit that you are saying about your mother. You cant blame her for anything because if youre 18+ you are responsible for your own decisions and your own outcome. If you feel like youre a failure..well thats you saying that about you. Do your best, stop comparing yourself to others and worry about you. Pick yourself the fuck up and have some self fucking respect

>>694764610
What do you mean, what do you mean

>>694762364
Are you not able to keep your money quiet?

>>694771612
i cant repay her for all those burritos, but i can delete the info, which i am doing right now.

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>>694762964
rip 2

>>694771754
She probably knows you cant pay her back. You know you cant pay her back. Let that part go;

The issue is you not telling her about it. Cant you imagine how much better youd feel about yourself if you were honest? Youre not killing cats like other sick fucks. You stole money from the bank that your mother is responsible for. Man up to it and apologize

>>694771612
why are you being so harsh on him. He stole maybe a couple of thousand off a rich person. That's like stealing 10 pence off a beggar. It's barely worth mentioning

>>694764359
fucking sucks man

>>694762883
You're exactly the kind of person that anon is trying to avoid. People that use phrases like "we're bros, and you're richer than me" are parasites. And no, a person can't be a leech and a genuine friend.

>>694772004
Because its fucking theft from his mother. Not some imaginary person you fucking retard. Credit card theft isnt a fucking joke, you can ruin someones entire life. Shut the fuck up because you arent old enough to grasp a fucking conscious or responsibility. Go play pokemongo by yourself

>>694772004
i'd say it was 1500 max.
i dont know if i will ever tell her, but i can stop.

>>694772313
Doesnt matter how much. Is what it is

>>694764663
How's it feel to be a faggot? Dubs checked tho.

>>694761089
and the ugly people losers take anything and is ugly and smell like shit like beyonce and is ugly and thats why the ugly people losers is ugly and smell like poop like beyonce and is ugly and smart and smell like poop like beyonce and is ugly and lame
and thats why the ugly people losers is ugly and smell like shit like beyonce :P
like the ugly guys losers that is ugly as shit and smell like shit like beyonce :P
so why you think the ugly people losers and the ugly guys losers smell like shit like beyonce and the ugly guys losers and the ugly people losers is ugly as shit and smell like shit like beyonce :P
and the ugly people losers like the ugly guys losers has to hurt the attrative loser people and the popular people the ugly way and is ugly and smell like shit like beyonce and is too ugly to hurt the popular people with looks but try to be better then the popular people and everybody and the ugly people losers like the ugly guys losers is ugly as shit and smell like shit like beyonce :P
iam the nigger
the ugly people losers like the ugly guys losers that is ugly as shit dont want people to read this
but does people got a choice anyway like music and tv shows who knows :P but the ugly people losers like the ugly guys losers is ugly as shit and smell like shit like beyonce :P
what i mean in no choice people has no choice in what music and tv shows the people want cause the ugly people losers outnumber everybody and the popular people and the ugly people losers like the ugly guys losers smell like shit like beyonce and is ugly :P and the ugly people losers like the ugly guys losers is too ugly to hurt the popular people with looks and smell like shit like beyonce :P
IAM NIGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGERRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR
AND THE UGLY PEOPLE LOSERS SMELL LIKE POOP LIKE BEYONCE AND HURT THE ATTRATIVE LOSER PEOPLE THE UGLY WAY CAUSE THE UGLY PEOPLE LOSERS GET MAD ALL THE TIME UNTIL HURT THE ATTRATIVE LOSER PEOPLE THE UGLY WAY

>>694770082
I know

>>694772213
I will...

You're acting like he's stealing from a single mother who works as a nurse during the day and waitresses at night to just get by. Of course it's wrong, but its not as bad as youre making it out to be.

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Nice try eff bee eye

You know what? I have a few.

>When I was a sophomore in highschool I used to sell a lot of LSD and weed. One of my buddies got robbed for like $700 worth of shit so we tracked him down. Plan was to cripple him so I started stabbing at his knees. Guess I hit an artery. He died in the hospital

>Things are getting heated with my girl, thinking about kids and shit now that I have a high paying legit job and so does she. I know if a kid comes out retarded I won't love it and I'll just leave her

>I fucked my sister when I was like 10

>I fucked most of my sister's friends since age 13. I once broke up with my current v serious gf a couple years ago cause she was annoying me and fucked her best friend and 2 other friends of hers. I have never fucked a girl with a condom on in my entire life. Somehow I always convince them

>A girl I knew was suicidal was asking me about my OD and if it was intentional (I ODd on codeine in HS) and I said no, and she asked if I was gonna kill myself what I would use and I said any NBOMe. 2 weeks later I sold her 10 hits of 25D-NBOMe and she died, big schoolwide tragedy. Don't really regret that one

And just for the heck of it
>I once jerked off to a video of a woman getting fucked by a dog when I was like 14

>>694763670
You're a pos. I hope you learned from this. Just because she made out with you it does not mean that she's your girlfriend.

>>694764847
I once drunkenly fucked a lobby couch in a fancy hotel in upstate New York. It was around the corner from the front desk, but the next day I realized the mirror right behind it was a one-way mirror. I don't know if anybody was watching me slide my hog in between the two cushions and blow my load up in there, but there were no repercussions. At least not until I see some armchairs that look like me.

>>694773480
Sounds like a hell of a life 9/11 would do drugs with you

>>694765118
¿¡Por que?!

>>694773109
Yes it fucking is. Stealing from someone is bad right? Stealing from someone that would literally kill for you is worse. Stealing from that same person but using a credit card is insanely worse. Cash, once its gone its gone and it can be replaced by the bank. The credit card? Its the banks money and they will want it back, if they do not get it back and his mother is found at fault- they will destroy your next 7 years worth of life. No more car loans, no more home loans, no more credit cards, no more large purchases and no more emergency uses. Luckily its only $1500 but if it was $10k? They could have put a lien on her property, her bank accounts etc... Incase you dont know what a lien is, a lien is when they will take all of the money they are owed unexpectadly out of your bank account- No bank will protect you nor will they want your business. I used to work at a bank, Trust me; Ive seen people so fucked that theyd rather be dead. You do not fuck with someones credit

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Hey /b/, rate my sexy cousin

>>694764614
Yeah, we've all high schooled, faggot. A confession is usually something that you've done that normal people wouldn't do. Something you'd keep secret.

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>>694772931

>>694774039
Not to mention the compounding interest. That $1500 times 22% on top of late fees etc.. Easily that would become a $3000 debt

>>694765214
I liked it. I thought it was the most legit "review"

>>694773480
I actually forgot 1 more

>When I was like 10 I was in a grocery store and had to take a shit really badly, ran into the bathroom pulling my pants down, and a massive shit fell right on the floor and I just left it there

also
>When I was fucking my current gf's best friend, she had her bra on when I was fucking her and when I took it off I saw a couple of nipple hairs. I laughed, got soft, told her to put a shirt on, and then we left for lunch. She paid for me

>>694774082
kike/10

My dick is extremely sensitive to touch and I recoil every single time I brush against it, when a hair gets stuck in the foreskin pulling it out is like getting a paper cut on your dick

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I work in an industry that helps whites breed less
yours truly a nigger

>>694761089
I sit when I pee (otherwise pee goes fucking everywhere appart from the bog)

>>694766975
I'm blind, are any available as an audiobook, read by Betty White, that I can listen to while I drive?

>>694774039
im pretty sure its paid off monthly by her brother (my uncle) who is watching over her finances since the divorce.

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>>694773100
Think you dun goofed friend

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>>694775905
Here's his cousins picture too

>>694764041
I see what they mean though. Like a friend should be good company. Many good times with people who end up being great friends or what ever don't involve money. Or not a large amount of it.

I lit fire to a sofa and a trashcan back in school and let an annoying kid with adhd take the blame for it

>>694775996
Just google image searched. No results found. Im digging deeper

>>694774322
ive deleted all the CC info from my computer/browser