>>694526199
browse /b/

>>694526484
/thread

>>694526199
masturbate
>masturbation is autistic

Your mum

i get naked and use my ab wheel while watching the oreilly factor

>>694526199
Pick my nose and eat it.

im really fucking good at roller coaster tycoon. i mean GOOD. in any scenario i can get profitable by end of first year to the point where i could let the game run unattended for the rest of the time limit and win. with unlimited money i build coasters with 4+ min ride time, over 2 miles of track, with 9+ excitement rating on the first test run. ive had this game for almost 20 years. i will not talk about this to my friends.

Unlock my Android on class and i forgot that my waifu is on as wallpaper. There were some girls behind me so they saw it. -_-'

>>694526199
I talk to myself a lot in private. I can mostly manage to suppress it in public, but it's sometimes noticeable.

>>694527226
HAHAHHAAH

>>694526199
When I'm alone I pretend I'm sonic picking up rings. If I stub my toe or bump into anything I imagine losing all of my rings and feel so disappointed in myself.

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>>694527056
Me too, and I don't know why. Pretty sure my girlfriend does it too and it fucking disgusts me. I'm such a hypocrite. Kill me.

>>694526199
Visit 4chan.

>>694526199
sometimes i make my index and middle fingers into a pair of legs and make my hand run around all over my desk like its going on adventures.

>>694527606
Fucking gross, dude.

>>694526199
I sing and dance along to this song in my room

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=O2sJdWxRZBA

I'll die of embarrassment when someone catches me

I replace most to nearly all words to popular songs with nigger and sing and hum this until I'm out the door

>>694528094
same actually

I suffer from jock itch like any guy, so when I'm alone in my room, I lock the door, pull my pants down, reach for my boar bristle brush (it's a scratchy brush) and scratch the shit out of my itches from the under shaft of my penis to my balls. It's the satisfaction of scratching the itch is more intensifying than the slightly painful sensation and thus outweighs it and I now have a habit of doing this.

It's something I also do right before jacking off. A way to feel good before feeling good.

>>694527692
You should get those little shoe key-chains and put them on your fingers.

>>694528369
you know they make spray that fixes jock itch in like 1 day right?

>>694527872
Hell, could get you laid if you go to an anime con. Think positive, anon!

>>694526199
Speak to myself out loud.

>>694527872
I really hope your not a guy.

>>694527226
I'm impressed and a little horny

>>694529301
I am that guy

>>694526484
This!

>/thread

>>694529241
Yeah, but it treats jock it and never cures it. This brush is a one time treat all time deal and it feels so satisfying.

>>694529524
Well then, I really hope your not a grown man.

>>694527226
i laffd

>>694526199
Fuck you. That is me in the picture yoy swine. You have no right to use my picture and make a cringe thread. My sword is fucking awesome abd my pose makes me badass. Fight me and you will see the fury of my katana, fight me.

I pretend like I'm a WWE superstar and take my 20 pound dog out into my little brothers trampoline and do moves on it. Then I have a soda bash like Stone Cold would a beer bash, while I rub the heavyweight title in my dogs face and trash talk it about how it will never be a champion like me.

Read yaoi manga.

I'm 32, married for 5 years, good looking and in good shape from rock climbing. Fucking kill me.

>>694530052
fuck yooou

Wear and wet diapers.

listen to this https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=K_xTet06SUo

>>694530194
Hell yeah. That dog will never take your belt.

>>694530194
Then I wash the soda off the dog so my mom thinks I just gave the dog a bath when she gets home and it's wet.

>>694530538
I let him win sometimes actually. He actually takes it pretty well only been bit hard enough to leave a scar once.

>>694527226
I'm wet.

Watch people play Doom 2 wads on YouTube

>>694528369
>jock itch
dude I've had that shit for like 5 years and I just googled it and realized it's easily treatable?? what the fuck I fucked up so bad

>>694527484
>>694527484
People catch me occasionally.

Is it mostly negative in public? I find in public its more negative than alone.

>>694528094
this but with swearing and various body parts cause on the inside im still 12

1. Dance around the room to 80s pop-rock
2. Swing around a cavalry saber whilst wearing a bathrobe and an ushanka.

I talk to my Jeep when we're alone. She loves me, but sometimes our relationship is rocky. Usually after I beat her up on the rocks offroad.

Pick my ears with a matchstick and add it to my earwax candle.

>>694530449
Im 23m btw

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>>694531086
>I did give him a chairshot once
There is something legit wrong with you dude

>>694527226
put one on youtube, or stream it, id love to see a massive fuckin coaster

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Sometimes I blink with one eye like 20 or so times in a row because I think I need it to catch up in the same number of times blinked a day by the other eye. Someone caught me once and I just said I had something in my eye so I wouldn't look retarded.

>>694526199
I cry and have witty debates with inanimate objects

I'm part of a HEMA longsword group. Sometimes I'll watch something like Berserk with either my steel of synthetic sword and pretending I'm fighting with or simply critique fights and moves. It's really fucking nerdy.

>>694528369
Honestly I do the same thing most nights. Don't know why it feels so good.

I talk to myself and say funny things while making weird facial expressions and hand gestures. It's basically like being my own comedian.

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>>694526199
>autistic thing
huh?
are you fucking retarded?
there's no such thing as "most autistic thing"?
autism includes the world's super geniuses fyi
in fact the very computer you use to post "hurr durr most autistic thing" would not work without a prominent autist, the father of modern electricity, tesla, having shared his inventions with the world

try using words that make sense
if by autistic, you mean dumb, you obviously are the dumbass as again, autists account for literally the smartest people this world has ever seen

>>694526199
I talk alone all the time in English so I can practice my pronunciation and stuff.. it kinda sounds like a video game walkthrough of all the mundane shit I do in my house.

>>694531696
owning a sword is autistic.
what you are doing is 3-4 levels more autistic than normal autistic

>>694531696
I'm not part of a group, but I do the same in my room.

>>694532050
found the autist

>>694532058
thats not autistic, thats dedication in an attempt to further yourself.

>>694530840
Well most of it is related to whatever I'm doing, so I'm seen as somewhat eccentric at work. I've got a good sense of humor, so I don't take too much shit for it. Problem is, every so often I'll wind up musing about how shit everything is, or how I need to get a different job, or just damn, what am I doing with my life? and realize I just said the last bit out loud.

Nobody's caught me yet. I know I'm going three points up the crazy scale if I'm not more careful.

>>694527226
Dude I got rid of the game only a few years ago and I really regret it. Now I want to play again. Post video of giant coaster so I can get excited

>>694532050
>father of modern electricity
>lived penniless in Edison's shadow
>only remembered because he had ideas he never put into practice that later saw widespread adoption

>>694532137

At least I know what I'm doing and wail on people with it. Broke a guy's thumb at a tournament. But, I get what you're saying.

>>694532326
>>694532058
it's autism.

Dance like a stereotypical teenage girl to embarrassing music.
I'm 6'4, 200 lbs, fully bearded, and in college.

>>694532488
I love those games. The original and 2 were the best by far.

>>694526199
pretend to be a girl on the internet and help ugly guys jack off.

>>694532143

Brother in arms! lol

>>694532050
who the fuck is the kid in the bottom right

>>694526199
jerked off

> I talk to myself with different personalities and accents
>do nasty shit like eating boogers, old/dirty food
>dress in female clothes and masturbate furiously as I cum through my step-sister's pantyhose
>play videogames all day and command my mother around
> fuck up at all kinds of social interaction
(I was once furiously explaining to a guy I barely knew in the school canteen why asian chicks are superior waifus to the whore-like white ones. I'm pretty sure everyone heard my rage-filled tantrum and realized what an autist I am)

>>694526199
Go on this website

>>694526484
Fucking this.

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Deep asshole scratch and then smell my finger

>>694529739
43

I sing songs like "The Rose by Bette Midler" and "All by Myself by Celine Dion" out loud, very loudly and tear up a bit. I'm a 19 year old guy and completely straight but these songs just hit my heart hard.

>>694533124
same

>>694532791
Lol

I made myself a broadsword out of a fence post when I was like 11, cut, sanded, and painted it. I've still got it somewhere, when I was younger it was my "beating each other with sticks" weapon. Now I just swing around my cavalry sabers, or various auto parts I have lying around that I pretend are maces. Axle shafts make great maces.

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Play with Toys

>>694532050
Dumb means you can't talk. Did you mean stupid?

Watch edgy/gory anime, and laugh at all the edgiest parts (not actually a fake laugh), then act like ive been the MC for my whole life, and pretend like im insane for the rest of the night, also talk to myself

>>694533275
Same bro.

I also sometimes sing the first bars of the chorus of "All by Myself" in public as a joke when people leave me alone somewhere, but I got that from my mother (she did it too). People my age never get it though, I doubt most have even heard it.

Semi-related, when alone sometimes I listen to really old (60s and 70s) country ballads and tear up about the trucker who lost his son for 30 years.

>>694527606
hot you should pick eachothers boogers and eat them while you make out with her

>>694533570
Found the autist

That definition hasn't been current for what, like 100 years?

>>694526199
Watch mlp

>>694533326

Haha, a fucking axle shaft. I can totally see that, those things are thick steel and could crack a skull easy.

I make shitty avant garde music by playing instruments wrong and listen to it.

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this fucker won me the game yesterday. cant see it cause its all underground son. pro tip: build your most expensive shit under ground so the peeps go on it all weather, no drop in profits

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>>694526199
no such thing as alone in an involuntary criminal over encroaching sack shit of excuse trying to masqueraide as government.

>>694533776
Definitions don't change, words just get used improperly by stupid fucks, and other stupid fucks follow suit.

>>694526199
Well some nights I can't sleep at all and I can be 10 hours in a row in my bed trying to sleep

>>694527226
We want to see huge roller coasters, man

>>694526484
/thread

Once the flour every week I powder my penis and that bothers me the toilet sister. This is great fun. I am a pink penis.

>>694533275
The Rose is a nice song.

>>694526895
That explains /b/ in a nutshell. Fantasizing and preparing your body for the Billdo.

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also from my park yesterday. proof of how effective advertising is. the 2nd expansion added much harder requirements for number of peeps in park, more than you can get naturally just waiting till end of year 3. you have to advertise to win. pro tip: you can easily add 800 peeps in 4 months through advertising

>>694534204
That's not autism, that's insomnia. Have you talked to a doctor?

Surprised no one has said this but play rockband. I play real drums too, but sometimes when I finish a song I feel like the worlds biggest August loser

I've let my gf's dog lick my dick and balls a couple times. I fap on the living room couch. The dog comes over Bc curious sniffs licks and then goes to his bed. I'm not sure how to feel about it

>>694530758
thats not autistic thats fairly normietypical, really. stop being insecure of your hobbies bitch. You problably watch vinney and vargskelethor or some shit t00

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>>694526199
Probably masturbate while browsing 4chan

Oh wait... I have done that in public.

>>694527226
Make twitch streams, there are a lot of games like that out there you could have a lot of material,the resource mánager streamer

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>>694533851
Definitely. The bottom one in this pic is the best mace-like thing I've had, it's weighted perfectly. The top one is too poorly balanced and doesn't move enough to be a flail, I've tried.

BTW, two-piece axle shaft from a disconnect-style Dana 30 out of a 1990 Cherokee

>>694527226
Id watch that

>>694533920
>>694534317

i still play this :D

>>694526199
Click my bookmarks and then click /b/. Also use kali linux so people (who arent around) think im a hacker but im really just jerking off and ignoring all the hacking tools.

>>694531593
Same
Also with my hands, I'll either tap my fingers or spread my fingers one at a time until I feel like they're even

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>>694534255

>>694534337
No. Should I ??
I often tend to underestimate my health issues and think they're my fold and call myself a pussy. Someone else with this problem??

>>694534262
I love it.

>>694534486

Nice. I have a buddy in the ACL (Armored Combat League), they're the guys that bash the fuck out of each other in full armor. I'm gonna tell him about that, he'll get a kick out of it.

>>694526484
Truuu

>>694534804
Same. Or like I'll shake my leg absent mindedly and then have to shake the other leg until they feel even. Or I'll scratch one arm and have to scratch the other. Symmetry.

>>694532050

what you did just right now, it just oozes autist from you.

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At the end of every day, I look at myself in the mirror and recreate all the facial expressions that I can remember making throughout the day, so I can see for my self which ones looked weird. I do this to be able to more accurately visualize my face when I'm out in public so I can be intentional with all my expressions.

I always triple-check to make sure my door is locked, my blinds are closed, and I'm completely alone before I do it.

>>694533682
How old are you?

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>>694534486
ITT we learn how to fight Mel Gibson.

>>694534928
Nice, sounds like a fun time. My hobbies are mainly target shooting civil war weapons on a team (I'm a gargantuan nerd, I know) and working on my Jeep. So my occasional autist moments usually incorporate very old military equipment and auto parts.

TBH the ACL sounds like a ton of fun.

>>694526199
I have a few women in my life and I dont know which one to keep i need to make a choice
I suck at balancing women and I am afraid ill get caught soon so fml rn

I just like to scream and make weird noises for hours

>>694535177
19

I was raised in the country by my grandparents, oddly enough I grew up on 60s and 70s country music.

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>>694526199
cock tributes by far period

>>694532498
that seems pretty autistic to me

Smell my hands every time I touch myself.

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As of ~november I literally ONLY listen to kpop. I dont even look up the fucking lyrics and i cant even understan korean. i just listen to it. It exponentially grew from me listen to 1 artist for the first few months to like fucking seven. I dont know the lyrics to a single song yet a have several memorized phonetically to where i sit and fucking lip sync them perfectly. I REFUSE to tell any of my friends this.

>2014
>masturbating in the school stall
>finish
>walk out of the stall and see this kid
>he heard me moaning and can smell my fap musk
>I turn to him and say "what's up brochacho?"
>kid told everyone at school
And that's how I lost my teaching job.

>>694535550
Who the fuck moans while fapping?

>>694534841
You're not getting sleep. Even if it is your fault, if you don't know what's causing it, you can't fix it.

>>694535647
I do broseph stalin

>>694535647
The ultra wizard who has masturbated so much that he has graduated to the highest order of self-pleasure... And women.

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>>694526199
Auto-erotic asphyxiation

>>694526199
>systematically went over every awkward or embarrassing event of my life
>fell into a fit of rage and sadness
>went out side and picked a fight with some drunk native
>beat his face
>looked down at him feeling envy for some reason
>ear well up with tears
>briskly walk away without swinging arms , tears running down my face
>hide in some bushes, knuckles bruised, mind a swirl of shame and self loathing
>contemplate suicide

i wore a fedora for like a week in the first year of college, god was that embarrassing

>>694535308

That's awesome, I love old black powder weapons, almost more fun than my couple of guns. It's the sound and the smells. I have a black powder revolver that's a blast to play around with.

You should check them (ACL) out, they're always looking for people. The armor can get pricey, but if you can afford it, it'd be awesome. We're all fucking nerds that love to fight, but it's a hell of a lot of fun.

>>694535843
Well yeah women do, but he was clearly a dude.

And alrighty, I'll take your word for the first part.

>>694535550
>"he heard me moaning and could smell my fap musk"
>could smell my fap musk
>fap musk
dirty niggers

>>694535010
Damn! That's impressive.

I like how your big coasters span the entire park and cross each other. Also, I see very few free tiles. Very compact. Nice, anon!

>>694527484

I feel like this is me but suuper autist touretts.
Like "Fuuck me fuck." "Stupid faggot" all under my breath annd shit but sometimmes, I just say it loudly. Totally normal person in almost every other regard, just cannot suppress my anger.

Touch my ass hole squatting at my desk and smell it and not wash my hands

>>694535909
Oh man, there's nothing like shitty camp coffee and a whiff of sulfur in the morning. And we're not reenactors, so we don't have to wear full wool in the hot sun, just general "sort of blue pants and a button shirt."

Nice, I'll look into it. I'd probably love it.

>>694535964
Or maybe he's just a woman following the no women on the internet rule.

>>694535376
Same

>>694535238
I (Jeeperfag with the axle shafts) actually watched Road Warrior the night before last. I love Mad Max.

But yes. I also drive a vehicle that wouldn't be out of place in the wasteland and carry ludicrous amounts of gas, food, and water at all times "just in case."

I'm basically fat, 19 year old Mel Gibson.

i'm such a fucking faggot when i'm alone

>listens to 5sos and k-pop and learns the dances
>currently learning the dance to this song
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=glXgSSOKlls

>talks to self
>draws fursona
>plays minecraft
>masturbates furiously to hentai
>i pluck my own fucking leg hair with tweezers
i fucking hate myself

This >>694532050
I have no fucking idea what "autistic thing" means either.
Fucking autists are all over the map. Some wicked smart, some just quirky as fuck and quiet.
Not sure why some 4chaners even use that term.
By the answers itt, pretty obvious everyone has a different definition, most of which don't even make sense.

Well I dont know if it's autism but there's some days that going out to the street scare me the fuck out and feels like a oddesa, and then I walk around the house chatting with myself for the most part of the day. Other days I feel completely good and normal

Pretend to wave a lightsaber around like a jedi

>>694526199

Talk to myself. Still do it though.

>>694526199
Talk and reason about things with myself. Make sound effects under my breath when I imagine crazy shit. Occasionally get caught up in imagining increasingly bizarre and convoluted scenarios as they play out. Sometimes catch myself reading lines out loud.

>>694536769
i talk to myself as well which as it turns out isnt that abnormal. i do it mostly when trying to problem solve or do a complex task, helps give me vocal cues, at times ill think of doing something but end up not doing it at all. as for the hentai, well what ever gets your rocks off, i enjoy rape porn and tbh they dont make that great of live action rape porn since powershotz got closed down. if you dont like yourself be someone else.

>>694526199

Scratch behind my ear and smell it

>>694533960
this map is outdated, muslim should be the whole zone of "church of england"

>>694533920
kek I was playing ROT like early last month. then played a little of ROT3, then stopped.

>>694534317
is this ROT2? what's with the colored paths?

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Whebever i take a piss alone i pull my shirt over my belly and sort of shame myself to stay motivated about losing my gut. It makes me feel like shit and sort of like a selfconcious little girl. I would prob die of embarrassment if i was seen doing this.

>>694532498
>lived penniless in Edison's shadow
true
but then Edison was and is widely considered a complete fraud
he'd steal others' ideas and work and rip them off
more jew than anything else

>only remembered because he had ideas he never put into practice that later saw widespread adoption
this is completely false
tesla is widely regarded as the smartest guy on the planet in the 19th century
if Edison had his way, we'd all still be on DC current and you wouldn't be typing on a computer right now
Edison literally threatened people and claimed Tesla's AC current would "kill" everyone and used to put on demonstrations like killing elephants to prove it
Edison was a massive fraud and stole everything from others
Telsa was a mad scientist, brillant as fuck, but had zero interest in money or business and was a recluse who had to have the fucking peas arranged on his plate in a certain order and talked to pigeons
had 300 patents
more than 50 of his patents have not been disclosed because the government seized them due to national security concerns
fucking guy was off the charts genius and autistic as fuck

>>694537243
I do all of this too, was worse when I was younger though.

>>694536795
me too
>autistic thing
OP is a fucking retard

>>694526199
I read out loud /b/ threads such as this to entertain and improve my English at the same time

>>694527226
I'm aroused. Make me yours, anon?

>>694532987
Do you also wear fedoras?

>>694536769

Meh, not that bad. At least you realize and acknowledge it anon.

>>694532035
Are you me?

>>694538282

-anon at a restaurant in the U.S.-
>Good evening sir, what would you like to tonight?
>faggot faggot cheeseburger
>Um, excuse me?
>*nods head* nigger autist

>>694531593
Same, also I have to touch things with both my hands, or even fingers. So If I feel something with 2 fingers on one hand then I have to feel the same thing with the same twork fingers on the other hand

>>694526199
wear diapers as a fetish, sperg out when my shitty internet connection makes my games laggy as fuck, talk to myself/make funny faces and then subsequently make fun of myself for doing so

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>>694526199
I practice the faces I make and laughs I make in public to be more convincing when I fake being happy.

Does that count?

>>694534423

Wouldn't call it a hobby. I'm not insecure about it. Doesn't mean that it isn't autistic behavior.

>>694527226
>Normie by day
>Coaster Tycoon at night.
Quite a double life you got.

>>694528094
exactly this

>>694537124
Same here. I'm such a perfectionist when it comes to making the swinging sound effects.

>>694527553
Holy shit! my sides, where are they?

I pretend like I have super powers while fighting imaginary bad guys. I'm 21 and I'm reliving my past. Also good exercise.

>>694526199
I get a little obsessed with time and numbers. Like for some reason, let's say i listen to some track on my iTunes...i will feel satisfied when it reaches a certain number count, like i've achieved something lol
Also, sometimes watching a clock ticking away somehow comforts me. Like even if i do nothing special, the idea that time is still passing is somehow comforting to me.
Those are pretty autistic and weird things, right?

>>694527553
Underrated post.

>>694541001
Well, these are some basics autistic symptoms...

>>694530483
that's p cool anustly

Talk to myself aloud quoting random things

>>694541001
Same here.

>>694541446
This, but mostly poetry or quotes from books I've read.

>>694541647
Really? That's interesting...how do you explain it? And how does that manifest for you?

After every time I jack of I exclaime "I did it!"

>>694541932
Like.. When I'm adjusting volume for something, it HAS to be a multiplier of 5. It drives me crazy if it isn't. Or counting steps, counting words someone says without stopping to pay attention. I take it as a challenge to myself, to do several shit at the same time in my head. I do a lot more of weird shit, but I that's the most common.

>pacing, so much pacing

Either that or how I behave when I visualize some of my elaborate fantasies. I've got several of them, and when I am running through them in my mind I'll start rocking back and forth or taking my hand and quickly running it back and forth on he back of my head. I'm usually so into it that it takes me a while to realize how ridiculous I must look. My sister is a literal autist, and she used to do something similar although more extreme.

>>694527226
does the ride ever end

>>694528369
>I suffer from jock itch like any guy
>like any guy

nigga what

wash your fucking balls

>>694542344

Could be OCD, had it since I was a kid. Countjng and organization were my big compulsions. I used to get a small bag of chips, dump them out, organize them by broken and whole, eat the broken ones first, then eat the whole ones smallest to large. One of my rituals.

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>>694527606
wtf

>>694526484
A bunch of my friends and I browse /b together.

>>694526199
I have heterosexual sex in the missionary position for the sole purpose of procreation

>>694527872
Oh shit. I'm not alone.

>>694542344
For me volume has to be either an even number or a multiple of 5. Just multiples of 5 would really suck IMO.

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>>694529266
>Anime con
>Laid
Pick one.

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>>694542773
Yeah, I do shit like that too. Or when I'm reading and have to pause, I can't pause unless I stop in an even page. Also see >>694541853

>>694543040
Yeah, I just didn't know how to say it. English is not my main language. Multiplier of 5 or even number. My sister always spins the fucking volume thing like crazy just to piss me off.

. I'm a addict to mmorpgs. No one of my friends knows It. They don't know that I play. Also my gf. I'm always telling them I'm working or I got grappling training. But I'm playing a shitty 2d online game for 8 years

>>694543478
Lol, that would irritate me too.

>>694543542
Which one? I do that too. I used to play Tibia but now I play Dofus. It has childish sprites but it's a strategy game. I'm fucking addicted to that shit.

I'm not entirely sure you lot know what "autistic" means.

>>694526199
I knock on wood all the time. I even do it when I think about bad stuff happening. I have to knock twice exactly. If I fuck up and accidentally touch the wood again after knocking, I have to cancel it by knocking to the next even number and then repeating with two more knocks again.

It doesn't have to be literal wood. I'm okay with anything derived from wood (or plants). I even allow myself to knock on plastic since it's made from oil (which is fossilized plants).

Wow this sounds REALLY autistic now that I typed it out and I'm looking at it.

I talk to a therapist in my head

>>694526199
Pull and jank off ass hairs

This thread fucking sucks. It reads like ask reddit thread. Severely disappointed

>>694543716
It's called fragoria.it's a shit game but I can't let it go.

I saw some pvp videos of tibia. It's really not like other games.

Dofus? Never heard about that. I will watch some youtube videos from it.

You are not alone anon kek.

>>694544051

You're the one that reads ask reddit. Severe disappointment anon.

>>694526199
So here's a weird one, and no I don't know the physics on this. I have long hair, over 2 feet long. And somehow, at least twice a week, my butthole will tickle and I have to pull a fuckin long ass hair out of my ass, and it feels weird as shit, but like the relief you get after a good sneeze is amazing

i make animal noises for no fucking reason

>>694542344
Oh ok...i don't do that.

>>694544239
I did that too when I had a long hair but I didn't pulling the hairs pleasant is a weird file

>>694528094
this
>>694528369
shave your balls anon

>>694526199
finger smelling

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cuddle pillows

>>694532050
wrong

>>694544239

I'm trying to work this one out in my head and coming up blank. You don't think you're somehow ingesting them, passing them through your system, then having it dangle after taking a dump? Is that even possible?

>>694527692
>>694527692
I used to do this too, and also this "pair of legs" knows martial arts, so the right pair of legs was often going on an adventure and its old enemy, the left pair of legs, who also know martial arts, always appeared and they engaged in fights a lot because they hated eachother so much.

>>694542856
Link me the rekt thread faggot.

>>694545189
I'm positive I'm not eating them, even in my sleep I have my hair in a hair tie. I don't know. I'm thinking when I shower the hair just breaks off and gets near my butt, but not sure how my butthole just slurps it up like mom's spaghetti.
>inb4 gay ass

Every day, every fucking day I crave for the dame of my dreams. I want to feel her loving embrace, her warm lips pressed against mine, and her gorgeous curvature. Her breasts are that of a ripe fruit, succulent and radiant under the rays of the glistening sun. Whenever she walks by, her perfume fills the air; beneath that camouflage lies a sweet womanly scent that compliments her choice of fragrance. Her pussy... So tempting... Just when I thought my urge to bone couldn't grow anymore; I heard it. A sound of beauty. A sound of tranquility. I heard the shlicking of her wet cunt from the next apartment over, her moans rattled through my erect cock; but, that wasn't what got me horny. It was what she masturbated to. It took me so long to find it. Every night for the past two weeks, she watched this video!!!!!!

>https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ooDcstIm6Qc

>>694539872

+1

>>694545805

Hell, I dunno. Maybe underwear shifting throughout the day? Scratching your ass? Magnets? At a loss here honestly.

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>>694534255

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>>694526199
Practice my 'ree'.
>tfw not even joking.

i make up scenarios like someone breaking into my house, starting a fight with me or being in the middle of a shooting etc and i play out what i would do in that situation

>>694546167
I'll go with magnets. Only thing that makes sense other than sorcery

Make weird ass faces, sing and yell gibberish

If life was a movie, we'll id be fucked

>>694543946
same here

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>>694546614
not alone fagget

>>694546614
What a snowflake. Not like everyone does that. Faggot.

>>694546489
Same I feel like a total autist after I finish fantasizing random scenarios

>>694543806
I'm not entirely sure you've been here for too long.

>>694546834
Die in a fire

>>694546487
What's a "ree"?

>>694528094
This....but i sing about taking a dump.
I do a bunch of shit thats terrible
1. make fart noises with my hands
2. talk to my self in a indian accent
3. i always get flashbacks of some cringy moments of my self and i will spazz out and call myself a fucking piece of shit.

i do each thing probably 50 times a day

>>694546510

Haha. Dammit anon, this is gonna get stuck in my head now. Nursingfag who has been in full blown medical mode since I've been in my program since last year. I'm going through this checklist of anatomy in my brain and this mystery just keeps getting more complicated.

Now I'm going to have to ask my wife in the morning (she has long, black asian hair) if she ever has to pull hair out of her ass. Should make for an interesting conversation lol.

>>694547028
kek

>>694527405
Lmao you had no chance with them anyway.

I smell my tampons and lick my pads

I make up and act out random ass scenarios that would probably never happen irl

I call myself a cunt and yell "nononOnononono" when I remember something cringy

And I browse /b/

And ofc masturbate

>>694544231
rekt

>>694546999
>I've been here all summer.

>>694547245
>3rd thing

Are you me

>>694547245

>And ofc masturbate

mfw masturbating is considered autistic? Gtfo you autist

I pretend I'm happy.

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>>694534255
WAIT WUT ?

>>694527692
I used to do this in 3rd grade with a girl that sat with me, we would buy each other random stuff like weird erasers or pencils we knew we were in love but we kept it quiet because we were so young. At recess we would hide behind trees and kiss and hold hands, we were so close until middle school and then she became part of the cool crowd and forgot I existed, honestly if anyone knew me and her were that close they would trip out.

>>694546487
https://youtu.be/o589CAu73UM?t=121

>>694546487
lets us hear it

I try to masterbate but don't have enough to one and when I cum it is ' whole and my masterbate is fire

>>694547695
*isn't

>>694547380
No one masturbates in public cunt

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>>694547449
I wasn't ready for that.

Fuck you.

>>694527056
This. My gf hates it. I don't care. I hate her too.

Whenever I find something I'm looking for, I hold it above my head and sing the Zelda get item theme

>>694526199
Fap to Hentai, Loli and Furry porn. ERP with more or less strangers on the internet. Play VNs with H-Scenes in them. Browse 4chan. Troll for nudes on omegle and such. You know. Basically what everybody here does.

I get really high on opiates and actually enjoy life. Without them I can't get out of bed or even take care of my kid