paid for an old fat escort

fucked a girl that wasn't my girlfriend while drunk without protection and obtained warts, you?

Dry humping my sleeping cousin

jacked off to traps

jerked off in my neighbors backyard behind some bushes.... not really sure why

>>694471745
Fucked a firl I didn't really feel attracted to.

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>>694471745
Fucking this. Pic isn't me but I did this exact thing a few times.
Imagine my surprise when I came across this.
>fucking imagefap

fucked my cat when i was 13
she was dead next morning
sad shit

>>694472169
How old was the firl?

>>694471745
Let my uncle in law fuck me.

Fapped with honey instead of lube/lotion. Don't try this, seriously.

>>694472169
/thread

Jerked off in my office. At any point someone could have walked in and caught me, but I was so fucking turned on I couldn't wait.

I once accidentally the whole thing

>>694472785
/fread

>>694472614
Why?

I fucked a pineapple at my old job.

>>694472169
>2016
>not regretting fucking firls

been ugly and thought i had the right to touch myself
even though its me and no one else bothers

your mother

>>694472872
eternal bleeding i guess

>>694472954
Did it feel like a firl?

>>694473113
No i mean why the fuck would you do that in the first place?

>>694473113
kek

>>694471745
Fucked a friends couch.

>>694471745
My older brother and I molested out sister (she was 13 at the time)

>>694473124
Pretty much. Except it was cold.

>>694473113
the whole D??

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>>694472614

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>>694471745
This.

>>694471745
mother panties wearing when age 10 years, humper podushka, first time make cummies
let a fairy chuvak make suck me until glorious cummie blast
cut hole in memory foam podushka, make fill with lubricate, fuck poduksha

Any advice on how to cheat?

>>694473194
Please stop

>>694471745
Fap in my car hopefully finding a milf at a red light and she looks over and sees my hard dick.

>>694471745
Had unprotected sex with a girl who'd literally just come to my house to kill me (and probably herself, afterward). Ended up turning out well, but at the time it was pretty fucking stupid.

>>694471745
Your mom.

>>694473290
kek, same

to this day I don't know if he knows theres jizz stains inside, between the cushions

>>694473452
Okay, sorry anon

>>694472131
Are you me?

>>694473487
>Had unprotected sex with a firl
Ftfy

>>694473564
I heard the couch gave birth to ottomans.

>>694473290
Did it feel like a real firl

>>694473589
Yes. Let's fuck.

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>>694472614

Wearing gym shorts in public.

>>694473640
Did you have to pay for it?
If so, how much did it cost?

>>694473194

she licked my balls after the shower
that made me horny

>>694472799
I do this all the time.
I leave my nut under the trash bag in my bosses office.
He cant figure out why his office smells funky...

>>694473640
what are u evn talking about

Cheated on all my 4 serious girlfriends. Probably fucked on the side about 20 times in total, plus a few times that was just kissing. It's a curse.

Fucked a jar of Ona gel

bad times friend

>>694473806
>about a free fiddy

>>694472131
Did you make a bunch of homophobic shitposts after you finished? Because that's what prevents you from turning into a gay, you know.

fucked a fat emotional girl who had a clubfoot and a tongue piercing. fucked her for like 2 weeks and condescendingly listened to her talk about all her problems.

>>694473379
no maybe 10cm

>>694474008
>fucked a fat emotional firl
Ftfy idiot

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>>694473399
/thread

>>694473884
It's not a curse. You're just a piece of shit

>>694473640
>>694474136
would you fuck off, you aren't fooling anyone.

>>694473665
xex

>>694471745
u're mum

>>694473487
Green text it faggot

Responded to craigslist ad posted by a couple looking for a sissy sub. It was recent, they want to put me in chastity. Still not sure if I'm gunna do it

>>694474220
Jeus christ anon chill its just a meme, no need to get all emotional like a firl

>>694473665
You are not a funny person.
That's 12 year old tier comedy

>>694474165
Kek. I agree

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>>694473884

you are such a faggot

>>694471745
poured chocolate pudding all over myself in my bathtub
was fun, would recommend and do again

>>694474165

I know. That's what the curse is about. Quitting being a piece of shit is probably the hardest thing in the world to quit.

>>694471745
had unprotected sex with two dudes I hardly knew. stupid stupid shit, but no aids and wonderful memories.

>>694472717
Irrelevant.
>>694473047
Didn't say I regret it. I said it was stupid. Helped me learn. Also, I'm on my phone. Typos are bound to crop up.

go to omegle and show my tiny 12yo dick to old pedos

>>694474388
That's what your mom said, after I shaved her back last night

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>>694474360
Already did. Pic related.

>>694473333
Quads. You got horny with your brother. Homosexual, incestuous and abusive. Don't cut yourself with that edge.

>>694474360
>it faggot

>>694474533

>f694472717 #
Irrelevant.
>>f694473047 #
>Didn't say I fregret it. I said it was fupid. Helped me flearn. Also, I'm on my flone. Fypos are bound to frop up

Got these dubs

>>694474785
2/3 correct.

>>694474611
See >>694474388

>>694474384
see >>694474388

>>694474846
>fot fese fubs

>>694471745
Back in high school I would finger my gf to orgasm while we where sitting at a table across from her freinds. Fucked her in the school storage sheds, behind the sheds, on the feild, on almost every bench in the school, on the roof, and in the hallway only an hour after class let out and the staff was still there. Oh and one time she blew me in the back of her parents camrey while her Parents where driving at night because her patents where tired and there where a ton of blankets. Good times

>>694474769
shit man, gg

fucked an overweight slightly unattractive mature fag hag a couple times, but i got a bunch of free marijuanas out of it and the best blowjob i have ever received in my entire life...meh, that's life

Tried to slip a metal chopstick up my dick but forgot I had eaten spicy ramen with said chopstick 30 minutes prior to the fap session. Bad times were had.

>>694475240
I fingered my hs girlfriend in the back of my parents car and in rooms full of our friends.

>>694475240
>Fack fin figh fchool I fwould finger my ff to orgasm fwhile we where sitting at a table across from her freinds. Fucked her in the school storage sheds, behind the sheds, on the feild, on almost every bench in the school, on the roof, and in the hallway only an hour after class let out and the staff was still there. Oh and one time she blew me in the back of her parents camrey while her Parents where driving at night because her patents where tired and there where a ton of blankets. Good times

>>694471745
tried to get a miniature pomeranian to eat a dog treat out of my ass. she wouldn't do it

>>694472759
why, i did it and had no consequences

>>694475228
>>694475690
see >>694474388

>>694475656
>firlfriend

>>694475692
that's what peanut butter was invented for

>>694475690
What was the point of this post?

>>694475766
Fhy fi fid ft fith fo foncequnses

>>694472866
/bread

>>694475933
>Fwhat fwas fhe foint ff foint fost?

>>694475880
>>694475982
see >>694474388

Drove 2 hours to fuck a chub who wasn't even that attractive, but had nice tits. To be 22 again :(

>>694474769
fake

>>694475834
Fu fure far falty

>>694471745
Stick my cock in a faggots holes from time to time.
Call him all sorts of degrading names.
St8 married with kids

>>694473852
Some 13 year olds should be put under observation or in special placea, where they can easily be stopped from posting shit baits like this.

>>694476215
are you me?

Put my dick in my bathroom sink and put hot water on it.
Or slapped my keyboard with my dick until it hurt.

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>>694474769

>>694472852
funny and clever.

uh let's see...

spied on BF's big titted sister after she'd shower. did this several times. stopped after being caught (worst part is on reflection she would've probably dated/given access to said big tiddies had i went after her)

also masturbated into her panties a few times

hmm... stupidest... nothing that wild i guess

>>694474769
Oh fuck, I was there when you posted this. Damn near made me cry.

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>>694476553
Funny fnd flelver

>>694474384
You are genuinely unfunny and if you have friends I feel sorry for them because they have to put up with you

>>694476342
Possibly. I'm a 6'3'' 200lbs god who loves dark haired girls with big tits. I guess that makes me a chubby chaser, because i've definitely gone after hotter girls' wing-women when i they have bigger racks

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>>694476766
Making /b/ great again, anon. You're doing god's work.

>>694476908
I dont just have friends i have a firl friend

>>694477012
Fanks frump
Fake fmerica freat fgain

>>694476718
just remembered two situations. one funny. one fucked up.

funny
>came so much and so hard it flew up and all over my old keyboard. it didnt work after that

horrible
>when i was 12 and new to the internet back in the days of limewire searching for hot young models i downloaded what was apparently cp.
>it gets worse.
>i find out not by opening the files myself but the morning the files downloaded i had gone to church with my family
>mother stayed home because she was sick
>she decided to go delete my porn. she occasionally did this. thought i had hid it better this time
>finds it
was a real shit storm but ended up believing me when i said i'm just a dumbass. downloading several files that were pure trojans possibly helped

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>be 12 visiting my hot little aunt
>swimming all day with the family, aunt actually grinds her ass on my cock under the water
>get back to her house and immediately say I have to use the bathroom, told to use the one in aunt's room
> find her panty drawer and pull out some nice pink silk ones. Go in the bathroom and have an epic session. Blow all over her panties
>Put them back in the drawer because I don't want to get caught
>mfw aunt comes out of her room after changing out of her swimming suit
>wasn't allowed back for two years

>>694474363
meet and sex normally first, THEN chastity the second time if you like them.

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i sat down

Fapped to Whitney cummings' Snapchat

>>694478106
I keked

>>694478106
Kek Your own family banned you for 2 years?

>>694478965
no. was banned from my aunt & uncle's house for two years. family was over there visiting and swimming. talked about it with my aunt a few years later but no one else in my family ever mentioned it again.

>>694474769
I don't know how much I believe this but I fucking love it

>>694479226
kekmao so what did you and your aunt/uncle discuss?
>"hey you, stop busting nuts in my bitche's panties"

>>694474843
Well, at least I've had sex I don't regret, unlike your parents.

>>694475690
Seriously, that's some effort for nothing.

>>694479489
uncle never said a word about it. He just told my folks to never bring me over again. Ended up being about two years before I was allowed back. Then I lived with them for 3 years. Thats a whole other story

BLAH

>>694479783
U mad bra

>>694479708
>whole other story
anything interesting worth saying?

>>694479708
What did your Aunt say? Are you related to her? Did you put your pee pe in her?

>>694471745

accidentally used rubber cement instead of KY jelly for anal lube

>>694480532
>>694480607
it will take a min to write it up. never told these stories to anyone

>>694472614
didn't your cat scratch?

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>>694480859

>>694481130
shit, i ain't got anywhere to be. i'll grab a drink

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>>694473113
>eternal bleeding
>>694472169
>fat firls

This is my favorite thread all day

>>694476351
Underrated post of they year

>>694482241
Fnderatted fost